Week 6-7
PSY 219 –
Academic Writing
in Psychology
2015-2016 Fall
Çağ University
Faculty of Arts and Sciences
Department of Psychology
Inst. Nilay Avcı
Paraphrasing
.
What’s the difference?
Quoting, Paraphrasing, Summarizing

Quotations reproduce a passage word for word.

Paraphrases rephrase a passage in one’s own words
but retain all, or almost all, of the original ideas,
structure, etc.

Summaries also rephrase a passage in one’s own words
but retain only the main ideas of the original.
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Should I paraphrase or quote?
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.
In general, use direct quotations only if you have a
good reason. Most of your paper should be in your
own words. Also, it's often conventional to quote
more extensively from sources when you're writing
a humanities paper, and to summarize from sources
when you're writing in the social or natural sciences-but there are always exceptions.
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.
In a literary analysis paper, for example, you'll want
to quote from the literary text rather than summarize,
because part of your task in this kind of paper is to
analyze the specific words and phrases an author uses.
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.
In research papers, you should quote from a source

to show that an authority supports your point

to present a position or argument to critique or comment
on

to include especially moving or historically significant
language

to present a particularly well-stated passage whose
meaning would be lost or changed if paraphrased or
summarized
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.
You should summarize or paraphrase when

what you want from the source is the idea expressed,
and not the specific language used to express it

you can express in fewer words what the key point of a
source is
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A paraphrase is…

a restatement in your own words of someone else's
ideas.

to include the ideas or information from an original
source in your paper by rephrasing those ideas or
information in your own words.

changing a text so that it is quite different from the
source, while retaining the meaning.
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A paraphrase is…

your own rendition of essential information and ideas
expressed by someone else, presented in a new form.

one legitimate way (when accompanied by accurate
documentation) to borrow from a source.

a more detailed restatement than a summary, which
focuses concisely on a single main idea.
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Paraphrasing

Changing a few words of the original sentences does
NOT make your writing a legitimate paraphrase.

You must change both the words and the sentence
structure of the original, without changing the content.

Also, you should keep in mind that paraphrased
passages still require citation because the ideas came
from another source, even though you are putting them
in your own words.
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Paraphrasing

The key to successful paraphrasing is to use as few
words as possible from the original text--be mindful not
to change the meaning that you are trying to convey as
you rephrase--and to cite your paraphrase. Without
proper citation, your paraphrase could be construed as
plagiarism.
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Paraphrasing is a valuable skill
because...

it is better than quoting information from an
undistinguished passage.

it helps you control the temptation to quote too much.

the mental process required for successful paraphrasing
helps you to grasp the full meaning of the original.
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6 Steps to Effective Paraphrasing

Reread the original passage until you understand its
full meaning.

Set the original aside, and write your paraphrase on a
note card.

Jot down a few words below your paraphrase to
remind you later how you envision using this material.
At the top of the note card, write a key word or phrase
to indicate the subject of your paraphrase.
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6 Steps to Effective Paraphrasing

Check your rendition with the original to make sure that
your version accurately expresses all the essential
information in a new form.

Use quotation marks to identify any unique term or
phraseology you have borrowed exactly from the source.

Record the source (including the page) on your note card
so that you can credit it easily if you decide to
incorporate the material into your paper.
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Situations in which paraphrases must be
credited to the original source include:

The paraphrase retains all or most of the original
author’s ideas or uses an idea from the original author
that is not common knowledge.

The paraphrase retains the sequence of the original
author’s ideas or arrangement of the material or it
modifies the sequence of the ideas but retains central
ideas and key phrases from the original.

The purpose of discussing the author’s ideas is to use
them as an example of a particular point of view.
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An idea is common knowledge if:

The same idea can be found in the same form in several
different sources (and all these sources aren’t getting the
idea from one common, published source).

It is information that your readers most likely already
possess (whether the information is accurate or a popular
misconception).

It is factual information that is in the public domain, for
example, widely known dates of historical events, facts
that are cited in standard reference works, etc.
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How to parapharase a source?
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General advice

When reading a passage, try first to understand it as a
whole, rather than pausing to write down specific ideas
or phrases.

Be selective. Unless your assignment is to do a formal
or "literal" paraphrase, you usually don’t need to
paraphrase an entire passage; instead, choose and
summarize the material that helps you make a point in
your paper.
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General advice

Think of what "your own words" would be if you were
telling someone who's unfamiliar with your subject (your
mother, your brother, a friend) what the original source
said.

Remember that you can use direct quotations of phrases
from the original within your paraphrase, and that you
don't need to change or put quotation marks around
shared language.
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Methods of Paraphrasing
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.

Look away from the source then write.
Read the text you want to paraphrase several times
until you feel that you understand it and can use your
own words to restate it to someone else. Then, look
away from the original and rewrite the text in your own
words.
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Methods of Paraphrasing

Take notes.
Take abbreviated notes; set the notes aside; then
paraphrase from the notes a day or so later, or when
you draft.
If you find that you can't do A or B, this may mean that
you don't understand the passage completely or that
you need to use a more structured process until you
have more experience in paraphrasing.
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.
1. Although paraphrasing techniques are used in summary
writing, paraphrasing does not aim to shorten the length
of a text, merely to restate it.
For example:
Evidence of a lost civilisation has been found off the
coast of China could be paraphrased:
Remains of an ancient society have been discovered in
the sea near China
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.
2. A good paraphrase is significantly different from the
wording of the original, without altering the meaning at
all.
Ancient Egypt collapsed in about 2180 BC. Studies
conducted of the mud from the River Nile showed that at
this time the mountainous regions which feed the Nile
suffered from a prolonged drought. This would have had
a devastating effect on the ability of Egyptian society to
feed itself.
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Try to paraphrase the passage!
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Which is the better paraphrase?
a) The sudden ending of Egyptian civilisation over 4,000
years ago was probably caused by changes in the
weather in the region to the south. Without the regular
river flooding there would not have been enough food.
b) Research into deposits of the Egyptian Nile indicate that
a long dry period in the mountains at the river’s source
may have led to a lack of water for irrigation around 2180
BC, which was when the collapse of Egyptian society
began.
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.
(b) is the better paraphrase
(in (a) changes in the weather and the region to the
south are not as precise as a long dry period and the
mountains at the river’s source)
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.
3. Techniques
a) Changing vocabulary:
studies > research
society > civilisation
mud > deposits
_ Not all words and phrases can be paraphrased.
! For example, economics, socialism or global warming
have no effective synonyms.
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.
b) Changing word class:
Egypt (n.) > Egyptian (adj.)
mountainous regions (adj. + n.) > in the mountains (n.)
c) Changing word order:
Ancient Egypt collapsed > the collapse of Egyptian
society began
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.
4. Find synonyms for the words in italics.
a) The growth of the car industry parallels the development
of modern capitalism.
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1
The growth of the car industry parallels the development
of modern capitalism.
Example:
The rise of the automobile industry matches the progress
of contemporary capitalism.
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.
Find synonyms for the words in italics.
b) It began in France and Germany, but took off in the
United States.
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.
It began in France and Germany, but took off in the
United States.
Example:
It started in France and Germany, but accelerated in
the United States.
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.
Find synonyms for the words in italics.
c) There Henry Ford adapted the moving production line
from the Chicago meat industry to motor manufacturing,
thus inventing mass production.
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.
There Henry Ford adapted the moving production line
from the Chicago meat industry to motor manufacturing,
thus inventing mass production.
Example:
There Henry Ford modified the moving assembly line
from the Chicago meat industry to car manufacturing,
thereby inventing mass production.
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.
5. Change the word class of the words in italics, and
then rewrite the sentences.
a) In the 1920s Alfred Sloan’s management theories
helped General Motors to become the world’s dominant
car company.
Example:
In the 1920s, with help from the managerial theories of
Alfred Sloan, General Motors dominated the world’s car
companies.
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.
b) After the Second World War the industry developed
‘planned obsolescence’, whereby frequent model
changes encouraged customers to buy new cars
more often than they needed to.
Example:
After the Second World War the development of
‘planned obsolescence’ by the industry encouraged
customers to buy new cars more often than they
needed to by increasing the frequency of model
changes.
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.
c) Later, from the 1970s, environmentalists began to
criticise the industry for producing inefficient models
which used too much fuel, contributing to global
warming.
Example:
Later, from the 1970s, environmental criticism of the
industry focused on the production of inefficient models
which used too much fuel, contributing to global warming.
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1
6. Change the word order of the following sentences .
a) At this time, trades unions became increasingly militant
in defence of their members’ jobs.
Example:
At this time increasingly militant trades unions defended
their members’ jobs.
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.
b) Today the industry owns some of the strongest brands in
the world.
Example:
Some of the strongest brands in the world are today
owned by the industry.
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.
c) However, many major car companies struggle with
stagnant markets and falling profits.
Example:
Many major car companies, however, struggle with
falling profits and stagnant markets.
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7. Combine all these techniques to paraphrase
the paragraph as fully as possible.
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.
FOUR WHEELS GOOD
The growth of the car industry parallels the development
of modern capitalism. It began in France and Germany, but
took off in the United States. There Henry Ford adapted the
moving production line from the Chicago meat industry to
motor manufacturing, thus inventing mass production. In the
1920s Alfred Sloan’s management theories helped General
Motors to become the world’s dominant car company. After
the Second World War the industry developed ‘planned
obsolescence’, whereby frequent model changes encouraged
customers to buy new cars more often than they needed to.
Later, from the 1970s, environmentalists began to criticise the
industry for producing inefficient models which used too much
fuel, contributing to global warming. At this time, trades unions
became increasingly militant in defence of their members’
jobs. Today the industry owns some of the strongest brands in
the world. However, many major car companies struggle with
stagnant markets and falling profits.
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For example:
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.
The expansion of contemporary capitalism matches the rise of
the automobile industry. After starting in Germany and France,
it accelerated in the United States. There the moving assembly
line was modified by Henry Ford from the Chicago meat
industry to manufacturing cars: the invention of mass
production. General Motors dominated the world’s car
companies in the 1920s, with help from the managerial
theories of Alfred Sloan. The development of ‘planned
obsolescence’ by the industry began after the Second World
War, by which the frequency of model changes encouraged
customers to buy new cars more often than necessary.
Environmental criticism of the industry from the 1970s focused
on the contribution to global warming made by the production
of inefficient models which used too much petrol. At this time
increasingly militant trades unions defended their members’
jobs. Although some of the world’s strongest brands are today
owned by the industry, many major motor companies struggle
with declining profits and static markets.
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8. Use the same techniques to
paraphrase the following text.
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.
Before the last century no humans had visited Antarctica,
and even today the vast continent has a winter population of
fewer than 200 people. However, a recent report from a New
Zealand government agency outlines the scale of the pollution
problem in the ice and snow. Although untouched compared
with other regions in the world, the bitter cold of Antarctica
means that the normal process of decay is prevented. As a
result some research stations are surrounded by the rubbish of
nearly 60 years’ operations.
Despite popular belief, the polar continent is really a
desert, with less precipitation than the Sahara. In the past,
snowfall slowly covered the waste left behind, like beer cans or
dead ponies, but now, possibly due to global warming, the ice
is thinning and these are being exposed. Over 10 years ago
the countries using Antarctica agreed a treaty on waste
disposal, under which everything is to be taken home, and this
is slowly improving the situation. However, the scientists do not
want everything removed. The remains of very early
expeditions at the beginning of the twentieth century have
acquired historical value and will be preserved.
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Sample paraphrase:
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1.
Antarctica was unexplored until the twentieth century,
and still has a tiny population in relation to its size. Yet it
suffers from various pollution problems which have been
described in a report by a New Zealand government agency.
The low temperatures there impede the usual pattern of decay,
though compared with most parts of the world it remains in
pristine condition. Some long-established scientific bases have
large piles of garbage around them.
Few people realise that Antarctica has very little
precipitation, so that in the current context of global warming
the ice tends to reveal the rubbish that previously was slowly
being buried under snow. For more than a decade the nations
involved in Antarctic research have respected an agreement to
repatriate their garbage, and this should gradually solve the
problem. But there are a few items which will not be cleared
up, since they belonged to the early period of exploration and
have now acquired historic interest.
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Paraphrasing Examples
.
Ex 1.
The original passage:
Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking
notes, and as a result they overuse quotations in the final
[research] paper. Probably only about 10% of your final
manuscript should appear as directly quoted matter.
Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount of exact
transcribing of source materials while taking notes. Lester,
James D. Writing Research Papers. 2nd ed. (1976): 46-47.
A legitimate paraphrase:
In research papers students often quote excessively, failing
to keep quoted material down to a desirable level. Since
the problem usually originates during note taking, it is
essential to minimize the material recorded verbatim
(Lester 46-47).
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.
An acceptable summary:
Students should take just a few notes in direct quotation
from sources to help minimize the amount of quoted
material in a research paper (Lester 46-47).
A plagiarized version:
Students often use too many direct quotations when they
take notes, resulting in too many of them in the final
research paper. In fact, probably only about 10% of the
final copy should consist of directly quoted material. So it
is important to limit the amount of source material copied
while taking notes.
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Ex 2.

"The Antarctic is the vast source of cold on our planet,
just as the sun is the source of our heat, and it exerts
tremendous control on our climate," [Jacques] Cousteau
told the camera. "The cold ocean water around
Antarctica flows north to mix with warmer water from the
tropics, and its upwellings help to cool both the surface
water and our atmosphere. Yet the fragility of this
regulating system is now threatened by human activity."
From "Captain Cousteau," Audubon (May 1990):17.
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.
According to Jacques Cousteau, the activity of people in
Antarctica is jeopardizing a delicate natural mechanism
that controls the earth's climate. He fears that human
activity could interfere with the balance between the sun,
the source of the earth's heat, and the important source
of cold from Antarctic waters that flow north and cool the
oceans and atmosphere ("Captain Cousteau" 17).
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Ex 3.
The twenties were the years when drinking was against
the law, and the law was a bad joke because everyone
knew of a local bar where liquor could be had. They
were the years when organized crime ruled the cities,
and the police seemed powerless to do anything against
it. Classical music was forgotten while jazz spread
throughout the land, and men like Bix Beiderbecke,
Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie became the heroes
of the young. The flapper was born in the twenties, and
with her bobbed hair and short skirts, she symbolized,
perhaps more than anyone or anything else, America's
break with the past. From Kathleen Yancey, English 102
Supplemental Guide (1989): 25.
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.

During the twenties lawlessness and social
nonconformity prevailed. In cities organized crime
flourished without police interference, and in spite of
nationwide prohibition of liquor sales, anyone who
wished to buy a drink knew where to get one. Musicians
like Louis Armstrong become favorites, particularly
among young people, as many turned away from highly
respectable classical music to jazz. One of the best
examples of the anti-traditional trend was the
proliferation of young "flappers," women who rebelled
against custom by cutting off their hair and shortening
their skirts (Yancey 25).
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Ex 4.
Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, threefourths are caused by head injuries. Half of those killed
are school-age children. One study concluded that
wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury
by 85 percent. In an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the
shock and cushions the head. From "Bike Helmets:
Unused Lifesavers," Consumer Reports (May 1990):
348.
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.
The use of a helmet is the key to reducing bicycling
fatalities, which are due to head injuries 75% of the time.
By cushioning the head upon impact, a helmet can
reduce accidental injury by as much as 85%, saving the
lives of hundreds of victims annually, half of whom are
school children ("Bike Helmets" 348).
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Ex 5.
Matisse is the best painter ever at putting the viewer at
the scene. He's the most realistic of all modern artists, if
you admit the feel of the breeze as necessary to a
landscape and the smell of oranges as essential to a still
life. "The Casbah Gate" depicts the well-known gateway
Bab el Aassa, which pierces the southern wall of the city
near the sultan's palace. With scrubby coats of ivory,
aqua, blue, and rose delicately fenced by the liveliest
gray outline in art history, Matisse gets the essence of a
Tangier afternoon, including the subtle presence of the
bowaab, the sentry who sits and surveys those who pass
through the gate. From Peter Plagens, "Bright Lights."
Newsweek (26 March 1990): 50.
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.
Matisse paintings are remarkable in giving the viewer the
distinct sensory impressions of one experiencing the
scene first hand. For instance, "The Casbah Gate" takes
one to the walled city of Tangier and the Bab el Aassa
gateway near the Sultan's palace, where one can
imagine standing on an afternoon, absorbing the splash
of colors and the fine outlines. Even the sentry, the
bowaab vaguely eyeing those who come and go through
the gate, blends into the scene as though real (Plagens
50).
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Ex 6.
While the Sears Tower is arguably the greatest
achievement in skyscraper engineering so far, it's
unlikely that architects and engineers have abandoned
the quest for the world's tallest building. The question is:
Just how high can a building go? Structural engineer
William LeMessurier has designed a skyscraper nearly
one-half mile high, twice as tall as the Sears Tower. And
architect Robert Sobel claims that existing technology
could produce a 500-story building. From Ron Bachman,
"Reaching for the Sky." Dial (May 1990): 15.
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.
How much higher skyscrapers of the future will rise than
the present world marvel, the Sears Tower, is unknown.
However, the design of one twice as tall is already on the
boards, and an architect, Robert Sobel, thinks we
currently have sufficient know-how to build a skyscraper
with over 500 stories (Bachman 15).
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Ex 7.
Original Source
A key factor in explaining the sad state of American
education can be found in overbureaucratization, which is
seen in the compulsion to consolidate our public schools
into massive factories and to increase to mammoth size our
universities even in underpopulated states. The problem
with bureaucracies is that they have to work hard and long
to keep from substituting self-serving survival and growth
for their original primary objective. Few succeed.
Bureaucracies have no soul, no memory, and no
conscience. If there is a single stumbling block on the road
to the future, it is the bureaucracy as we know it.
Edward T. Hall, Beyond Culture, Anchor Publishing, 1977, p. 219
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.
Paraphrase 1
American education is overly bureaucratic. This is
manifest in the increasing size of educational institutions,
even in small states. Bureaucracies are bad because
they tend to work to promote their own survival and
growth rather than that of the institution, as was their
initial objective. Most bureaucracies fail because they
have a conscience or a soul. I believe that bureaucracies
are the biggest stumbling block on the road to the
educational future.
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.
Acceptable or Unacceptable?
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.
This is unacceptable. This paraphrase retains most of
the original author’s ideas (though not quite accurately),
as well as his way of structuring and expressing them.
The paraphraser has made no effort to acknowledge the
original author, and the use of the expression “I believe”
suggests that the ideas in question are the paraphraser’s
own.
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.
Paraphrase 2
Bureaucratization has proved to be a major stumbling
block on the road to our educational future. American
institutions have become factories that are more
conducive to the growth of bureaucratic procedures than
to the growth of the students who attend them.
Bureaucracies have to work long and hard to keep from
promoting their own survival rather than the educational
goals that were their primary objective.
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.
Acceptable or Unacceptable?
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.

This is unacceptable. This paraphrase retains most of
the original author’s ideas and several key phrases,
although it juggles their order around and rephrases
them. The writer has not acknowledged the original
author.
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.
Paraphrase 3
Bureaucratization has proved to be a major stumbling
block on the road to our educational future. American
institutions have become factories that are more
conducive to the growth of bureaucratic procedures than
to the growth of the students who attend them. This
means that, as Edward T. Hall says in his book, Beyond
Culture, today’s educational institutions “have no soul,
no memory, and no conscience.”
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.
Acceptable or Unacceptable?
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.

This is unacceptable. The writer does credit the original
author, but she only credits him with one of the
ideas/phrases she uses and she misrepresents the
emphasis of the quoted words.
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.
Paraphrase 4
In his book, Beyond Culture, Edward T. Hall discusses
the problems posed by the increasing bureaucratization
of American educational institutions. Hall maintains that
overbureaucratization is one of the key factors governing
the state of education in America today. He points to the
tendency of bureaucracies to promote their own growth
and survival first and foremost, and observes that few
overcome that tendency. He believes that this is
responsible for the fact that many public schools bear a
closer resemblance to factories than to educational
institutions. In Hall’s words, “Bureaucracies have no
soul, no memory, and no conscience.”
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.
Acceptable or Unacceptable?
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.

This is acceptable. The writer has avoided using too
many of Hall’s key phrases and clearly attributes his
ideas to him without distorting their meaning.
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How to Recognize Unacceptable and
Acceptable Paraphrases?
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.
Here's the ORIGINAL text, from page 1 of Lizzie Borden: A
Case Book of Family and Crime in the 1890s by Joyce
Williams et al.:
The rise of industry, the growth of cities, and the
expansion of the population were the three great
developments of late nineteenth century American
history. As new, larger, steam-powered factories
became a feature of the American landscape in the
East, they transformed farm hands into industrial
laborers, and provided jobs for a rising tide of
immigrants. With industry came urbanization the
growth of large cities (like Fall River, Massachusetts,
where the Bordens lived) which became the centers
of production as well as of commerce and trade.
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.
Here's an UNACCEPTABLE paraphrase that is
plagiarism :
The increase of industry, the growth of cities, and the
explosion of the population were three large factors of
nineteenth century America. As steam-driven companies
became more visible in the eastern part of the country,
they changed farm hands into factory workers and
provided jobs for the large wave of immigrants. With
industry came the growth of large cities like Fall River
where the Bordens lived which turned into centers of
commerce and trade as well as production.
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What makes this passage plagiarism?
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.
The preceding passage is considered plagiarism for two
reasons:

the writer has only changed around a few words and
phrases, or changed the order of the original's sentences.

the writer has failed to cite a source for any of the ideas or
facts.

If you do either or both of these things, you are plagiarizing.

NOTE: This paragraph is also problematic because it
changes the sense of several sentences (for example,
"steam-driven companies" in sentence two misses the
original's emphasis on factories).
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.
Here's an ACCEPTABLE paraphrase:
Fall River, where the Borden family lived, was typical of
northeastern industrial cities of the nineteenth century.
Steam-powered production had shifted labor from
agriculture to manufacturing, and as immigrants arrived
in the US, they found work in these new factories. As a
result, populations grew, and large urban areas arose.
Fall River was one of these manufacturing and
commercial centers (Williams 1).
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Why is this passage acceptable?
PSY-219 Academic Writing in Psychology
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.
This is acceptable paraphrasing because the writer:

accurately relays the information in the original.

uses her own words.

lets her reader know the source of her information.
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.
Here's an example of quotation and paraphrase used
together, which is also ACCEPTABLE:
Fall River, where the Borden family lived, was typical of
northeastern industrial cities of the nineteenth century.
As steam-powered production shifted labor from
agriculture to manufacturing, the demand for workers
"transformed farm hands into factory workers," and
created jobs for immigrants. In turn, growing populations
increased the size of urban areas. Fall River was one of
these manufacturing hubs that were also "centers of
commerce and trade" (Williams 1)
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Why is this passage acceptable?
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.
This is acceptable paraphrasing because the writer:

records the information in the original passage
accurately.

gives credit for the ideas in this passage.

indicated which part is taken directly from her source by
putting the passage in

quotation marks and citing the page
number.
!! See Successful vs. Unsuccessful paraphrases notes
!! See Test Your Paraphrasing Skills Worksheet
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