Senior Project:
Elements of the Paper
Feraco
SDAIE and Search for Human Potential
22 April 2014
Remember, the following are
suggested expectations. A writer
who simply goes through and
competently addresses these
elements has done an average job.
A writer who addresses each one
creatively and skillfully has done
an above-average job. A writer who
transcends this list has done an
exceptional job.
General Tips
• Avoid exclamation points.
• Avoid rhetorical questions like the plague.
• Avoid “according to the
dictionary/encyclopedia” statements like
the Ebola virus.
• Every sentence needs to serve a purpose. If
it’s not revealing a point, elaborating on a
point, or driving your paper, cut it.You have
twelve weeks; that’s enough time to ensure
everything you write matters.
• While you don’t have to avoid it at all costs,
it’s usually a bad idea to begin or end
paragraphs with quotes. At times, doing so
feels perfect, but if you’re not serving a
strong narrative need, write your own
transitions.
 As writers, you’re not just responsible
for your readers’ enjoyment. If you write
clumsily or choppily, your readers will
bail. I mention this because you’ll
probably incorporate somewhere
between fifteen and thirty paragraph
breaks during the piece. If you can’t
move from paragraph to
paragraph/idea to idea smoothly, you
can’t finish this project effectively. This
is why your instructors have long
focused on transitions: you have to
cover a bunch of topics in a way that
doesn’t feel haphazard, chaotic, or
forced, and you can’t do that if your
paper falls apart at the seams every
time you hit the Enter key.
Whenever you’re beginning a new
paragraph, write the first two
sentences, then copy them (as well
as the last sentence of the previous
paragraph) into a new document.
Look at them in isolation. Do they
make sense as they lie, or do you
find yourself having to mentally fill
in blanks in order to get them to
make sense? If it’s the latter, repair
whichever sentences need
adjustment. By running this test,
you’ll ensure that your writing
feels focused even as you focus on
seemingly disparate concepts.
• Similarly, your transitions between your “sections”
should be largely invisible. The switch in narrative
perspective (moving from first-person to thirdoccasionally-infused-with-first) should be the only
way I can tell you’ve shifted priorities. If you can
pull this move off within the paragraphs
themselves (subtly changing voices without
switching ideas), do it.
• When working your interview source’s material
into your paper, make sure that you don’t launch
into an extended monologue regarding that
source’s qualifications. If you can’t slip it into the
sentence itself (ex.:“Words words words, but words
words,” argues Michael Feraco-Eberle, an English
instructor at Arcadia High School.), use no more
than a single separate sentence explaining things.
Any other information that gives context to the
source’s contributions – “As a fairly inexperienced
teacher,” etc. – should be slipped into sentences in
the same manner as the example above. (If you
want to see pretty casual examples of these
sentence constructions, read some articles from
the Los Angeles Times or other daily newspapers.
Those writers use them in almost every piece.)
• After the initial name-drop, refer to your
source by last name only – no titles, no
first names.
• You don’t have to put everything your
interviewee says –“like,”“um,”“#@$%!!!,”
etc. – on paper. Clean up your quotes
without changing their essential
nature.
• Remember to strike a tone that lands
somewhere between familiarity and
formality.Your narrative voice should
shine through – this is your paper – but
you should sound like a mature adult.
Write as though you need to impress me,
not as though we’ve old, familiar
friends.
• Even though I haven’t bothered to do so here,
you should focus – during the final stage, at
least – on ensuring you use as few of the “Words
to Cut or Avoid” as possible: is, am, are, were,
was, be, been, being, always, never, nobody,
everybody, all, every, nothing, none. It’s fine to
use a few, particularly in quotes from your
source or research, but I’ll encourage you to
write sentences that can stand without them.
• Specific details matter. Dazzle me with details.
• Define terms that might be unfamiliar – how
many people really know what you’re talking
about if you mention “hacking”? – but do so
quickly, clearly, concisely, and without losing
the original focus of your sentence. As with the
interview source, do not use a separate
sentence to define the term.
• When organizing your research, please
remember that the chronological
approach is not always the best one (ex.
“First you must study _____, then do ______,
and finally ______”). Pick the one that
allows you to write the focused,
informative paper I’m hoping to read.
• Use MLA format perfectly – no
underlined titles, no weird spacing, etc. I
have a separate lesson on the format,
but in the meantime, the Purdue
University OWL (Online Writing Lab) has
an incredible MLA section.You can find
it at
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resou
rce/747/01/.
• If you have questions, ask me this
month.
First Section
• Discuss what you thought you knew
about your field and career before you
began this project. Weave in public
assumptions regarding your chosen
career, as well as what attracted you to
this field before beginning the project,
into an engaging and revealing
narrative. (Basically, why choose this
career? Why do you genuinely want to
pursue it?)
• Discuss what you don’t know – i.e., what
you intend to find out about your
topic/field over the course of the project.
(What’s your plan of attack? What
information exists that you haven’t
verified yet? What do you look forward
to discovering?)
• Discuss which qualities of yours seem
(emphasis on seem) to leave you well-suited
for the career you’ve chosen to study, as well as
those you possess which may hamper your
pursuit. (It’s OK if these end up not being
incredibly accurate – we’re asking you to use
your research to test your assumptions as well
as discover new information!)
• Similarly, we need to know what you intend to
accomplish, not simply which career you’d like
to study or pursue. (I imagine you all have
greater ambitions than “make money” or
“avoid getting fired.”) If your goals change
over the course of your research/work this
semester, a) awesome, and b) that’s the sort of
realization that you can thread through your
second and third sections.
• Show, don’t tell. We’ve gone over storytelling
techniques before; see me if you still struggle
with this.
Second Section
• Describe, concisely yet engagingly, the job you’ll
research.You want people to be interested in
reading your work. If you make your job sound
boring – or if you sound bored talking about it –
what incentive do I have to keep going? If you
didn’t hook me with your first section, hook me
here.
• Remember, your main purpose here is to answer a
very simple question: How do I do what I need to
do? But you’re doing so in a narrative format. This
section’s written from a third-person perspective,
but you’ll occasionally break into first-person in
order to connect some important conclusion to the
larger narrative – the character (yourself) whom
you introduced in the first section is searching for
knowledge while you’re taking us through your
research, right? Show us when that research has a
particular impact on that character.
• Which English skills will you need in order to
perform your job well? Have you gotten what you
need out of your time at AHS? Do you still need
anything?
 When you’re looking at how one gets started or
established in a particular field, make sure you
consider all factors. It’s easy to fixate on “skills
+ schooling”: education, internships,
apprenticeships, degrees, and credentials. But
what about hiring and interview processes?
Once you get hired, what are the expectations a
young worker in your field faces, particularly
related to a veteran? What sorts of duties and
responsibilities are you handed? Which do you
have to earn? How do you earn those
additional opportunities? (It’s usually not a
matter of simply not missing time and working
hard.) How do you gain independence (i.e., the
right to do things without running them by
others), if you ever gain it at all? What about
influence? How does one “fit in” to that
particular new working environment in the
early part of one’s career?
 When you’re looking at the
responsibilities a “normal” (i.e.,
experienced) worker faces, remember
to document the job’s other important
considerations. This goes beyond things
like salaries, promotions, and so forth: if
you’re looking at salary considerations,
what’s the cost of living in the area
where you intend to work? How does it
compare to the salary you could earn?
(Are you going to be able to live where
you want and/or you work?) How will the
demands of your job affect the rest of
your life – your desire to travel, start a
family, etc.?
• Pay attention to the ways in which your
career/field has evolved. Which factors will
shape your field moving forward? Will
technology redefine it, for example? (It’s
particularly useful to ask your interview
source for opinions and information regarding
your career field’s future trends.)
• You’re explaining this stuff to an audience that
may not know anything about your career. Be
very clear when discussing the advantages,
challenges, and drawbacks your career offers.
At the end, ask yourself: would this have
interested you a couple of years ago if it had
been the first thing you’d read about this field?
Is it accurate/in-depth enough to serve as a
gateway for the younger you?
• Finally, please remember to spend at least one
page discussing an issue that’s currently the
subject of debate within your field. Illustrate
both viewpoints, then advocate for one.
Final Section
• What you have learned since beginning the
project (What did your research reveal? What
would be important for other job seekers to
know?)
• The viability of this career; can you
realistically/appropriately plan to join this
profession? (What have you learned that allows
you to make this judgment? What aspects of your
personality contribute to it?)
• Is there a disconnect between what you thought
you knew about the job and the realities of the
position? (How has this project affected your
desire to pursue this career?)
• Where are you going from here? (Finish that
narrative you started –“In a few months, I’ll be an
Anteater!” – but remember to include the kind of
reflection that would make Nick Carraway
proud.)