Marking scholarship essays!
Monique Van Groenewoud
Director of HPE @ St Cuthbert’s College
Chairperson of Auckland PENZ
Plan for the session

Scholarship Treasure Hunt
 Where to find Scholarship material
 Critical Thinking – a revision
 The asessment schedule
 The 8 levels of performance
 A context for your learning - Performance
Improvement 2009
 Analysis of a student essay & marker codes
 Comparing results to the examiner’s mark
 Other helpful ideas

Session evaluation (KWL)
Scholarship – Treasure Hunt
NZQA website is where you will find:




The Scholarship PE Performance Standard
The current Assessment Specifications
Past Examinations, Assessment Schedules, Reports
Sample resources for the revised standard - Annotated essay
exemplars
 http://www.nzqa.govt.nz/qualificationsstandards/awards/scholarship/scholarshipsubjects/scholarship-physical-education
Auckland PENZ wikispace is where you will find:
 Auckland PENZ Scholarship workshop series of resources for
2013
 http://aucklandpenz.wikispaces.com/Scholarship+Works
hops+2013/
Gaining Scholarship

Although results vary from year to year…
 To gain scholarship,
○ a total score of
13 is likely to be the minimum
standard.
 To gain outstanding scholarship,
○ a total score of
standard.
18 is likely to be the minimum
What is critical evaluation?
Is a synthesis of ideas
 Evaluating against something
 Making a valid judgement based on personal
experience, readings, gathered information
 Evaluating what worked, why/why not. Whether there
was anything else that could have been done
 Challenging assumptions
 Providing personal ideas backed up with reasoning
 Finding solutions based on critical and creative
thinking, that may change things

What do some of the words mean?
PRO’S & CON’S
The ability to interpret the:
 Good and/or bad points.
 Direct and indirect effects.
 Barriers vs enablers.
 Strengths vs weaknesses
COMPARE & CONTRAST
 Look at different facets of the problem.
 Identify similarities and differences.
CHALLENGING BELIEFS & ASSUMPTIONS
 Distinguish between fact, opinion and
inferences.
 Recognises and analyses assumptions
○ old wives tales
○ urban myths
○ out of date information
 Challenging sweeping statements
BIAS
 Understanding a bias may be present
 Studies/data may reflect a personal agenda
 Information may only consider one side of the
argument
 Definitions are open to interpretation
SYNTHESIS
 The process of combining different ideas,
information, influences, and/or personal
judgements into a new statement.
Developing a critical stance
Encourage students to look at the world with fresh eyes…
A critical stance is a position that:

Is not on the fence

Is not at the extreme ends of a continuum

Considers both

Considers multiple views that vary according to the
specifics of a situation

Challenges underlying assumptions, stereotypes
and privileged positions
&
of a single situation
Example - The impact of video on learning
Video is sometimes helpful because it allows
me to see myself and I get a clearer picture
of what I am doing, than when I am told what
to do. However, at the cognitive stage of
learning I do not have the knowledge base to
correctly identify errors, so video would be
more helpful when I am better at detecting
errors or I have a coach alongside me
helping to identify what I should look at….
Broad Sociological Issues
Also encourage students to consider the bigger picture…
 One size fits all ~ individual needs/differences are not considered

Scientism & Technocentricity ~ a focus on technology and scientific
evidence through quantitative measurement

The body as a project ~ a focus on improvement physical aspects &
performance without considering other aspects of wellbeing

Commodification ~ using the body, sports profile, healthism etc for
monetary gain

Healthism ~ exercise + nutrition = health i.e. a focus on the
individual’s responsibility for their wellbeing without consideration
of other influencing factors

Hegemony ~ advantage, privilege, the hidden strategies to maintain
power imbalances in society
3
level
Guide
3 Storey
Intellect
Model
PMIS
(Plus, Minus
Issues,
Suggestions)
Debono’s
Critical
Thinking
Hats
(add bias
after white)
Reasonable
/
Inspiration
Critical thinking/
evaluating
Tools & Strategies
Compare
And
Contrast
SPEECH
Fact vs
opinion
chart
DATT
tools
Court room
battles
CAMPER
Key elements of a Scholarship essay
A critical evaluation should include:
 DEPTH
& BREADTH of knowledge drawing on
biophysical and socio-cultural factors
 Examples
– research, own experience, wider
society
 Taking
a position from both viewpoints
 Athletes are Made AND born
 Some factors more/less important in specific circumstances
The Levels of Performance
Poor ~ 1 to 2 marks

Ideas stated, information recalled. The candidate
shows no evidence of critical evaluation and
demonstrates a basic understanding of physical
education, arising from both theoretical knowledge
and practical application.
The Levels of Performance
Poor ~ 1 to 2 marks
Key Elements:
NO Critical Evaluation
Minimal Theoretical / Practical application
2 = Some evidence of relevant subject knowledge
1 = Minimal evidence of relevant subject knowledge
Key words/concepts at level 1-2
Poor Performance
Level 1:




A long way below the
standard
Incomplete response,
e.g. may only write a
few paragraphs in
response to the
question
No development of
ideas
Blank answer, or
irrelevant evidence.
Level 2:




Well below the
standard
No critical thinking or
evaluation
Or an incomplete
response, e.g. may only
write a few paragraphs
in response to the
question
No development of
ideas.
The Levels of Performance
Sound ~ 3 to 4 marks
Critically evaluates information to demonstrate an
informed understanding of physical education,
arising from both theoretical and practical
application.
 The candidate attempts to address the question – is
able to apply some relevant understanding.
Reasonably well organised, inconsistencies evident,
superficial coverage and examples do not relate to or
detract from the answer.

The Levels of Performance
Sound ~ 3 to 4 marks
Key Elements:
Little/Some Critical Thinking
Theoretical + Practical application
Superficial coverage
Some relevant knowledge from Biophysical, Sociocultural, Performance improvement theory
4 = Some Critical Thinking + Breadth
3 = Recall + Evaluation
Key words/concepts at level 3-4
Sound Performance
Level 3:



Below the standard
Little critical thinking
and no critical
evaluation
Merely a response,
recall, summary,
description,
explanation, evaluation
of the question.
Level 4:



Borderline to the
standard
Some critical thinking
without critical
evaluation
Increasing repetition,
breadth and lack of
depth / development of
ideas.
The Levels of Performance
Excellent ~ 5 to 6 marks

The candidate’s response critically evaluates
information to demonstrate an holistic
understanding of physical education, arising from
both theoretical and practical application though
not to the same standard as for the outstanding
candidate.
The Levels of Performance
Excellent ~ 5 to 6 marks
Key Elements:
Critical Evaluation
Taking a position
Logical
Breadth is evident
Performance Improvement =
Biophysical + Socio-cultural + Training/Practice
Synthesis of Genetic + Environment + Training
6 = Balance between Theory + Application + No repetition
5 = More breadth with less depth + Repetition + Issues with
fluency/logic
Key words/concepts at level 5-6
Excellence Performance
Level 5:
At scholarship standard
 Some critical evaluation
 Some repetition of ideas
 Critically answers the
question
 More evidence of depth
and development of
ideas being sacrificed in
order to be more
encompassing / breadth.

Level 6:
 Critical evaluation
 An answer worthy of
Scholarship
 No repetition of ideas
 Some aspects of the
answer lack
development or depth
 Critically answers the
question.
The Levels of Performance
Outstanding ~ 7 to 8 marks

The candidate’s response demonstrates depth of
understanding and breadth of knowledge through a
high level of sophistication across a range of
factors including integration of ideas, original
thought, fluency, and logical and precise
communication. There is a balance in the
integration of theory and practice.
The Levels of Performance
Outstanding ~ 7 to 8 marks
Key Elements:
Critical Evaluation
Justifying a position
Logical + Integrated ideas
Depth + Breadth + Creative Ideas
Biophysical + Socio-cultural
Performance Improvement = Genetics + Training /
Practice + Socio-cultural (SPEECH influences)
8 = Clear demonstration ~ No modifications
7 = Clear demonstration ~ Minor modifications with
synthesis & creativity
Key words/concepts at level 7-8
Outstanding Performance
Level 7:
Level 8:
Critical evaluation
 Outstanding, but lacks
consistent creativity and
synthesis of ideas
generated by a candidate
that earns an 8
 Depth in the development
of ideas.


Critical evaluation
 Outstanding
 Holistic and creative in
most aspects
 Depth in development
of ideas
 Best that could be
reasonably expected in
the time available.
2009 Q3 Performance Improvement

Consider the following three extracts demonstrating a range of
opinions on whether athletes are made or born:
““Ever dreamed of standing atop a podium and having a medal placed around your
neck? … How much is athletic prowess due to genetics and how much is due to
training and environment?” Torgan (2002)
“Athletic records are broken year after year, and the limits of human performance
continue to be debated … Is there any limit?”Quinn (2008)
“One possibility is that some people are simply natural born superhumans … – the
key to gaining the ultimate competitive advantage may be hidden in our
genes.” Geddes (2007)


Drawing on your knowledge and experience of factors that lead to
performance improvement, critically evaluate whether athletes
are made or born.
Illustrate your answer with appropriate examples from your own
knowledge and experience.
2009 Assessment Schedule
Evidence (Left column)
The candidate:

The initial statement covers what
is expected in taking a
position.
A critical evaluation should
include…
The section covers what is
expected in the essay.
The candidate may
consider…
This section gives a detailed
account of knowledge that
could be covered in this
question.
Judgement (Right Column)
Descriptors for performance levels
are blocked into pairs:

 Outstanding (7-8 marks)
 Excellent (5-6 marks)
 Sound (3-4 marks)
 Basic (1-2 marks)
Overall a student would expect to
get scholarship with a combined
mark of at least 13 across the 3
essays.
This total can vary from year to year
2009 Assessment Schedule

The question is focused on examining if the
candidate can critically evaluate the notion
whether athletes are “made” or “born”.

The student’s answer must provide a reasoned
argument that integrates knowledge about factors
impacting on performance improvement
(biophysical and socio-cultural)
Key elements continued
 Athletes
are “born” + “made” i.e. synthesis of
genetics + training + socio-cultural factors
 “Born” - Genetic factors can give advantage
 “Made” - Training & Socio-cultural factors develop
the athlete
 Consider
environmental factors (SPEECH
factors) on opportunities to participate and
improve
Essay Analysis – Think, Pair, Share
Divide the analysis task between 3-5 markers.
Each marker makes notes for 1+ of the following:





Examples of critical thinking, critical evaluation, and a justified
position related to the question
Biophysical factors involved in performance improvement
(Check for breadth & depth)
Socio-cultural factors involved in performance improvement
(Check for breadth & depth)
Creative suggestions, integration, logical structure
Problems – repetition, negating argument, irrelevant material,
making assumptions, general knowledge/statements
Marking Codes - 2009 mark guide
High mark Codes
Lower mark Codes
D – Defined/Definition
EX – Explained
R – Referenced /Quotes/Statistics
PO – Position
SK – Subject Knowledge
GS – General/Statement
A – Applied
AS – Assumption
OE – Own experience
RD – Requires development
EID – Explained in detail
N – Negates Argument
CT – Creative thinking/Suggestions
IR – Irrelevant
CR – Critical
REP - Repetition
EV - Evaluation
Question Specific Codes
CREV – Critical Evaluation
•
BPF – Biophysical Factors (includes
JPO – Justified position
genetic and training factors)
•
SCF – Socio-cultural Factors (SPEECH)
•
FIP – Factors Influencing Performance
Share evidence

Share your findings in the group.
 What was covered in depth?
 What was covered superficially?
 Use the master or the assessment schedule to identify
the significant gaps. What were the gaps?
 Review the marker’s codes
 What mark should this essay receive?
A quick reference guide
Critical Evaluation
Justifying a position
Logical + Integrated ideas
Depth + Breadth + Creative Ideas
Performance Improvement =
Biophysical + Socio-cultural + Practice/Training
1 = Minimal evidence of relevant subject knowledge
2 = Some evidence of relevant subject knowledge
3 = Recall + Evaluation
4 = Some Critical Thinking + Breadth
5 = More breadth with less depth + Repetition + Issues with fluency/logic
6 = Balance between Theory + Application + No repetition
7 = Clear demonstration ~ Minor modifications in synthesis and
creativity
8 = Clear demonstration ~ No modifications
Providing feedback to students

Use the following as a checklist for marking the essay
Critical Evaluation
Justifying a position
Logical + Integrated ideas
Creative Ideas
Depth + Breadth

Create a summary of theory content covered in the essay
Biophysical + Socio-cultural + Concepts related to the question

Complete the PMI as follows:



PLUSES – identify any strengths in the essay(s)
MINUSES – identify any significant gaps in the essay(s)
ISSUES – what problems are evident in logic and/or structure
Further ideas that help

Having your scholarship students mark an essay
using the feedback tool is a valuable learning strategy
for them too.

Develop a bank of resources.
 Your resource bank of essays…
○ Range of marks from level 4 to 7
○ Full range of essay topics
 Ask students to return their essays for you to copy
KWL
Please share with us one
thought from the following
questions…



What did you know?
What did you want to
know? [What have we
missed?]
What have you learned?
Now what…
 What are your next steps?