AP Language Timed Writing Notes
January 30, 2015
Score
Rhetorical Analysis
Topic: Eudora Welty’s One Writer’s Beginnings
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
0
# of
students
# of
significant
prewriting
0
5
6
17
19
5
3
0
0
5
8
9
5
3
General Notes
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Prewrite! In general, there was not enough annotation of the prompt. If you underline or circle, you MUST write
something in the margin that signals the effect or use of the underlined item. Organize the body paragraphs
before you begin to write. Be sure that the topic sentences relate to the thesis statement.
AP (Address the Prompt) There were two parts to this prompt: intensity of language, value of experience. You
must address both of them.
If you can use a rhetorical device, do it. The readers like to know that you can write like the pros.
Do not simply list a quote and move on. Truly explain the effect or the purpose of using a device or quote. The
generic “to draw the audience in” or “to emphasize her point” is a non-explanation. You must explain WHY and
TO WHAT EFFECT each quote, device, or appeal you mention is used.
Do not use brackets at the beginning of a quote: “[Welty] never knew anyone who…” Instead place Welty outside
the quotation and begin the quote at “never….”
Because Welty is your only source, there is no need to parenthetically cite her.
Beware the dangling “this.” When you leave “this” by itself, the noun is left up to interpretation. This what? This
fear; This experience?
Rearrange your TAG sentence so that is doesn’t leave your subject hanging. NOT: “In One Writer’s Beginnings
by Eudora Welty, she expresses her desire to read.” You have not stated who she is. Instead: “In One Writer’s
Beginnings, Eudora Welty expresses her desire to read.”
Always use Literary Present Tense. Welty uses, not used.
DO NOT USE “you.” It shifts the point of view and shows your immaturity as a writer. Additionally, in
rhetorical analysis there is no room for “I.” Remove yourself—become an outside observer.
Every quote must have a proper lead-in. You can use a sentence or blended lead-in. All periods go inside
quotation marks.
Do not use “really” or “such” as adverbs.
Underline book titles.
No cheerleading: “Welty is a great writer;” “Her language is very well done.” Yes. That’s why she’s on an AP
prompt.
Understand the metaphor of the quest and the dragon guarding the treasure. Books are valuable because Welty
has to slay the metaphorical dragon (Mrs. Calloway) to get them. Her mother is a mentor who encourages her
quest. Think Star Wars (Vader, Luke, and Yoda) or The Lord of the Rings (Sauron, Frodo and Gandolf). If you
can draw these types of parallels, you will be rewarded with a high score.
A good organization tactic: The intro should focus less on devices and more on ideas. Begin with the librarian as
an obstacle to overcome, then move to the mother as a role model. Weave devices (tone, language, diction) into
the body paragraphs about the librarian or the mother.
Individual Notes
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Kristen H.—clear intro: In her autobiography, One Writer’s Beginnings, Eudora Welty details her childhood
experiences with books and reading. She uses strong descriptions and thoroughly explained situations to provide
the audience with insight into her development as a writer and to explain the origins of her deep connection with
literature. And perfect topic sentences: Welty’s illustrations of her interactions at the library show the reader the
intensity with which the early experience affected her. And: Through the personal connections Welty describes
with specific books, she demonstrates the value she associates with her childhood reading experiences.
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Tripp N.—strong evidence and explanations: Welty describes feelings of intensity about reading, explaining that
she, essentially, couldn’t get enough of it. Despite the terrifying Mrs. Calloway, Welty always found herself
checking out books from the library, claiming that “I was willing. I would do anything to read.” Welty
desperately wanted to read, and wouldn’t be stopped, regardless of the “dragon-eye[d]” librarian. Welty
implements other strong comparisons when descrbing Mrs. Calloway, calling her a “witch” as well as opening
the passage claiming that everyone in Jackson “was afraid of Mrs. Calloway.” Clearly, Welty feels very strongly
about Mrs. Calloway and her usage of nasty comparisons and negative words display to readers just how
strongly she feels. Yet, Welty doesn’t only display intensity in her experiences when describing the librarian.
Also, Welty claims that for reading, she had an unquenchable thirst. In describing her mom, she says, “my
mother shared this feeling of insatiability.” Welty shows readers that she loves reading and feels passionately
about it.
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Cameron P.—unusual comparison that works: Is this Matilda? Add a dysfunctional family and dictator-like
principal, and you have the story of a girl who loves to read. Of course, no magical powers, but in One Writer’s
Beginnings, Eudora Welty shares a compelling narration of growing up in the “library.”
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Laura A.—solid conclusion: Described by her own mother as “too impressionable,” Welty absorbs all of these
intense and valuable experiences as a way to inspire her and her craft as a writer later on in life.
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Amy T.—interesting intro: To say one loves something is not very difficult. But to make one’s audience
understand why that this is loved is more complex. This challenge is carried out by Eudora Welty in her
autobiography “One Writer’s Beginnings” [sic]. In the narrative, she explains her love for reading. But through
diction and imagery, she lets readers know how and why she loves reading. Her language when explaining her
past show us why reading is important to her.