Communication and Social Styles
Presenter: Mary Kay Williams
2015
Welcome!
Today’s session will help you to:
• Examine a communication model.
• Identify barriers to effective communication.
• Discover ways that our perceptions affect
communication .
• Complete the social styles inventory to discover your
social styles and gain insight into your behavioral
strengths and weaknesses.
Welcome!
Today’s session will help you to:
• Discover ways that our perceptions affect
communication.
• Complete the social styles inventory to discover
your interpersonal style and gain insight into your
behavioral strengths and weaknesses.
Common & Unique
MKW
Unique
Unique
3 Things
common
Unique
Unique
Unique
 Draw design on flipchart.
 In large circle find three
things that are common to
everyone in the group.
 In each small circle, one
thing unique to individual.
Miscommunication Exercise
• Describe a recent conversation in which
there was a miscommunication.
Why Communication is Important
• Communication is a necessary tool for
understanding.
• Miscommunication may actually be a
cause of conflict, stress, or
misunderstandings.
Communication is Interpersonal
• Communication is a two-way process
(sending and receiving) by which ideas
are transmitted from one person to
another.
Communication is Interpersonal
• Try to accomplish four basic things:
– Be understood.
– Understand others.
– Be accepted.
– Get something done.
context
interprets message
experience
culture
semantics
values
verbal
message
sender
receiver
non-verbal
message
message intent
message content
barriers
Feedback…
verbal and
non-verbal
message
environmental
psychological
physiological
social
Communication Barriers….
Communication Barriers
• Describe a dog
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Appearance
Size
Personality
Age
Etc.. Etc.
My Girl…
Factors Influencing Communication
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Context
Interpretation
Feedback
Barriers
Semantics
• Jargon
• Acronyms
• Others?
Semantics
• What are semantics?
• The meaning we attach to words.
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“Pass.”
“Cool.”
“Shoot.”
“Hanger.”
Active Listening
• Active listening is a deliberate process
through which we seek to understand the
true meaning of the conversation and the
emotions behind the thoughts.
Active Listening
• Active listeners internalize the speaker’s
feelings and try to see things from his or
her perspective.
• Active listeners appreciate both the
meaning and the feelings behind what the
speaker is saying.
Verbal Language
• The words we say/hear.
• The actual words we speak.
• Not…
– Gestures.
– Facial expressions.
– Other forms of non-verbal or paralanguage.
Power of Non-verbals
• What we see
• Difficult to separate the verbal from the
non-verbal.
• Frequently unaware of the non-verbal
impressions we are creating.
• We are always communicating nonverbally, whether we intend to or not.
• You cannot not communicate
Non-verbal Communication
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Facial expression
Eye contact
Body movement and gestures
Touching behavior
Stance
Non-verbal Communication
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Personal space
Physical appearance
Clothing and jewelry
Physical distance from the other person
With a little practice, we can
interpret non-verbals.
Ready?
Paralanguage
Messages we send by “how”
we communicate.
Defining Paralanguage
• Communicate many emotions through the
voice.
• Paralanguage is the ability of the voice to
affect how something is said.
Defining Paralanguage
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Rate of speech
Diction and pronunciation
Tone
Rhythm and inflection
Volume
Use of pauses, hesitation, sighs, fillers
Verbal, Non-verbal, and Paralanguage
• What percent of meaning comes from
each of the following?
– Verbals
– Non-verbals
– Paralanguage
7%
_________
55%
_________
38%
_________
100%
Perceptions
• Two or more people looking at the same
situation or object may interpret that
situation differently.
• Formed by our values, experiences,
culture, and expectations.
Perception and Communication
• We form beliefs and knowledge about
fellow workers based on our interactions
with them.
• We know what the person is like, what he
or she will do in a given situation, and how
the person views us.
Perception and Communication
• Our “reality” affects what we see and hear
and (therefore) how we respond to
situations.
• We reject “wrong” information rather than
change our beliefs.
Is Perception Reality?
• Al is Mark’s supervisor. They are standing
near the water cooler and, with loud
voices and strong gestures, they are talking
to each other.
• If you don’t hear what they are saying,
what might you conclude?
Is Perception Reality?
• They are angry with each other.
• They are shouting and gesturing because
their work environment is noisy.
• One may draw an inaccurate conclusion.
• Maybe they both came from a culture
where loud speaking and constant
gesturing is the norm.
Social Styles
What is Social Style?
• Social style is a pattern of typical actions
that others can observe and agree upon to
describe usual behavior.
• Can lead to better communication
• Better relationships.
• Behavioral model that helps people better
understand themselves and others.
What is Social Style?
• Social style is not “personality.”
• Social style refers to observable behaviors.
• Social style is not absolute – it is a matter of
degree.
• Most people behave predictably. Behavior
is not random.
• There is no one best style.
Personality Pie
• Behavior – what you say and do.
• Interpersonal behavior – what you say
and do when you interact with one or
more people.
• Social style – a pattern of actions.
• Personality – combination of ideas,
values, hopes, dreams, attitudes,
abilities and behavior.
Assertiveness
• A dimension of behavior that measures the
degree to which others perceive a person
as tending to ask or tell in interactions with
others.
Assertiveness
Asks
Tells
Assertiveness Behaviors
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Pace of speech.
Quantity of speech.
Volume of speech.
Use of hands.
Body posture.
Eye contact.
Responsiveness
• A dimension of behavior that measures the
degree to which others perceive a person
as tending to control or display their
feelings and emotions when interacting.
Controls
Responsiveness
Emotes
Responsiveness Behaviors
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Emotion in voice.
Subjects of speech.
Use of hands.
Body posture.
Facial expression.
Social Style Model
Attributes
• Drivers – independent, formal, practical,
dominating.
• Expressives – animated, forceful, opinionated,
impulsive.
• Amiables – dependable, supportive, pliable,
open.
• Analyticals – serious, exacting, indecisive,
logical.
Driver
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Direct and to the point.
Tell rather than ask.
Act with confidence and authority.
Move quickly; get down to business.
Value results.
Seem impatient.
Driver
• Make quick decisions.
• Action-oriented.
• Take risks without having all the
information.
• Well-organized to get results.
• Aggressive in getting goals accomplished.
Drivers in the extreme…
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Are impulsive.
May be too autocratic.
Can be insensitive.
Don’t listen.
Use too little caution.
Pressure others to reach unrealistic
deadlines.
Drivers need to work on…
• Listening to others.
• Controlling the need to control.
• Slowing down.
Expressive
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Outgoing and gregarious…involve others.
Talks easily to others upon first meeting.
Spends time developing relationships.
Very talkative.
Very persuasive.
Entertaining and upbeat.
Expressive
• Irritated with others who “aren’t fun.”
• Avoids facts and details.
• Speaks with inflection, facial expression,
gestures.
• Enthusiastic.
• Displays feelings openly.
Expressives in the extreme…
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May be too spontaneous.
May lose focus and not follow through.
Talk too much.
Don’t listen enough.
May overlook facts or deadlines.
Expressives need to work on…
• Paying attention to details.
• Avoid deep involvement with people too
quickly.
• Self-discipline.
Amiable
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Ask others for preferences.
Support others.
Very good listeners.
Like to think and plan.
“People first.”
Amiable
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Avoid issues that cause conflict.
Preserve positive relationships.
High concern for others’ emotional needs.
Tone and expressions are soft.
Display emotions openly.
Use people stories to illustrate.
Amiables in the extreme…
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Try too hard to please others.
May be too cautious.
May refuse to deviate from “the plan.”
Avoid conflicts that need to be confronted.
Amiables need to work on…
• Being more assertive when warranted.
• Dealing with change.
• Being more decisive.
Analytical
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Wait until asked before sharing information.
Easy to get along with; dislike confrontation.
Get right to the task at hand.
Keep feelings close.
Want all the facts.
Analytical
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Wants logic and structure.
Worries about skipping details.
Few gestures or facial expressions.
Speaks slowly and evenly with little
inflection.
Analyticals in the extreme…
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Are perfectionists.
Are critical of themselves and others.
Proceed too cautiously.
Are nitpickers.
Too rules-bound.
Analyticals need to work on…
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Not becoming paralyzed by data.
Making quicker decisions.
Sharing concerns.
Sharing feelings.
Being less self-critical.
In This Corner…
• What’s great about your style?
• What’s challenging about your style?
• What’s one thing about your opposite
social style that drives you nuts?
• What’s one thing about your opposite
social style that you appreciate?
Drivers – “No excuses, please…”
• Style need – results.
• Style orientation – action.
• Style growth action – to listen.
Expressives – “I have an idea…”
• Style need – personal approval.
• Style orientation – spontaneity.
• Style growth action – to check.
Amiables – “Let’s get along…”
• Style need – personal security.
• Style orientation – relationships.
• Style growth action – to initiate.
Analyticals – “Just the facts…”
• Style need – to be right.
• Style orientation – thinking.
• Style growth action – to declare.
Relationship Lessons Learned
• We differ in our willingness to speak or
solicit ideas from others.
• We differ in our willingness to take
charge.
• We differ in our comfort in expressing
feelings.
Relationship Lessons Learned
• We use different approaches to influence
people.
• We have differing expectations at work
about how to make decisions.
• We differ about what is most important.
Reflections
Closing Thoughts…
• Good communication is difficult.
• Your perceptions affect your
interpretation.
• What’s one thing you will work on to
improve your communication?
• What’s one thing you will work on based
on your social styles?