ARCHIE
DESK LADY
WINSLOW
THE MAD BOMBER
THE DETECTIVES: THE MAD BOMBER
(Opening Scene: Inspector's office, ARCHIE and WINSLOW)
PROPS: grease
ARCHIE: What are you doing, Inspector?
WINSLOW: (working at cleaning his hands, which are covered with grease) I was trying
to fix one of our cars and I got grease all over my hands. It's not coming off very easily.
ARCHIE: Did you manage to fix the car problem?
WINSLOW: No, but I did manage to make it worse.
ARCHIE: Oh. Well, anyway, I've just learned that Jones has disappeared.
WINSLOW: (grabbing ARCHIE, which gets grease on him too) No! Not Jones! Archie,
that's the third detective we've lost in the last two weeks. Where was he last seen?
ARCHIE: In San Diego, at the Bombay Hotel.
WINSLOW: (grabs him again) Not the Bombay Hotel! That's the same place where the
other two disappeared! Archie, somebody at that hotel must be kidnapping our men.
ARCHIE: You're right inspector! (makes a face as soon as he notices the grease on his
shirt) You know, you should try using soap on that grease.
WINSLOW: (grabs him one more time) I don't have time for soap! Archie, we've got to
get ourselves over to the Bombay Hotel right away. We've got to find out what's been
happening to our detectives! If we leave now, we can get into San Diego by one o'clock.
ARCHIE: (makes one more face as he looks at the grease on his shirt again) Right, boss.
(Scene Two: At the Bombay Hotel, ARCHIE and WINSLOW)
PROPS: office chair with wheels and wall assembly (cardboard wall with cutout area for
chair to revolve through and back), desk, chair, bomb, netting
ARCHIE: Well, here we are, inspector. Let's ask the front desk lady if she knows
anything (he starts forward, but WINSLOW stops him).
WINSLOW: (whispering) Archie, we can't just walk right in here and start asking
questions. What if that lady is one of the kidnappers?
ARCHIE: You're right, inspector. First we have to find out if she's one of the kidnappers.
Oh, miss!
WINSLOW: (grabs his hand) Archie! We can't just ask her that. I know! Pretend that you
want a room for the night and we'll see what happens.
ARCHIE: Okay, that sounds good. Hello, miss. I would like to stay in one of your rooms
for the night.
DESK LADY: Are you a detective?
ARCHIE: Yes.
DESK LADY: Okay, How about room 202?
ARCHIE: Fine.
DESK LADY: All right . . . Why don't you have a seat over there and I'll be right back
with the key (she exits).
ARCHIE: She told me to have a seat.
WINSLOW: Okay.
(ARCHIE goes over to the chair and sits down. Immediately, the chair and wall spin
revolve 180 degrees to reveal a hidden room on the other side. When the chair and wall
spin back again, ARCHIE is gone!)
WINSLOW: (walks over to the front desk and looks for the lady)
She certainly is taking her time about the room key. It always makes me extra suspicious
when people take too long. What do you think, Archie? Archie? He's gone! Now Archie's
gone! Just like the rest of them . . . He was right here (he sits down in the chair). Right in
this chair one minute and the next minute . . .
(The chair and wall revolve for WINSLOW too. They spin back to show the empty chair
again, but spin one more time to show WINSLOW and ARCHIE secured to the wall like
prisoners.)
MAD BOMBER: (enters through the door) I see that my people have chosen one of our
finest rooms for you two. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Allow me to introduce myself. I am . . .
the Mad Bomber! I build all kinds of bombs. I also built this hotel. How do you like it?
ARCHIE: I don't like it at all. It doesn't even have a bed.
MAD BOMBER: HA-HA! I'm glad you don't like it. But you two are going to spend the
night here anyway.
WINSLOW: Where are the other detectives?
MAD BOMBER: Oh, they're around here somewhere. But you won't be needing their
company.
WINSLOW: Why did you kidnap all of us?
MAD BOMBER: Because, silly, how could I rob banks with you guys running around?
You'd probably find some dumb clue and spoil everything! But while I have you all as
my prisoners, I can rob banks in peace. Without any trouble from you! Now, I'm planning
a 3:00 bank robbery today, so, if you don't mind, HA-HA, I'll be seeing you later. But
before I go, I want to make extra sure that you won't be going any where for a long time.
So, just to make sure, I'm going to let you have my sleeping bomb. When I push this
little button, it will go off in 10 seconds. When this baby explodes, it'll fill the room with
sleeping gas. You guys will stay asleep for oh, about 20 hours. Nighty-night! HA-HAHA-HA! (he leaves by exiting through the door)
WINSLOW: 10,9,8,7 . . .
ARCHIE: Inspector . . .
WINSLOW: Not now, Archie, can't you see I'm counting?
ARCHIE: Count on God to help us, Inspector.
WINSLOW: Where was I? 6,5,4,3,2,1 . . .
(WINSLOW slips his wrists out of the straps and puts his fingers in his ears and braces
himself. When the bomb doesn't explode, he puts his wrists back into the straps that hold
him to the wall.)
WINSLOW: You know what, Archie? I can't understand why the bomb didn't go off. I'm
sure it's been 10 seconds.
ARCHIE: Inspector, do you know what you just did?
WINSLOW: What?
ARCHIE: You just stuck your fingers in your ears.
WINSLOW: I know. I did that because I can't stand loud noises.
ARCHIE: I know. I can't either. What if I said, "The bomb's about to BLOW!"
(WINSLOW sticks his fingers in his ears again)
ARCHIE: Inspector, you're free!
WINSLOW: What?
ARCHIE: (loudly) Inspector, take your fingers out of your ears (WINSLOW does so).
You're free!
WINSLOW: (amazed) You're right, Archie! I did get free. Somehow I slipped out of
these straps. It must have been the extra grease on my wrists that wouldn't come off! That
grease must have helped me to slip out. Let me help you get free too (he frees ARCHIE).
ARCHIE: Thanks, Inspector.
WINSLOW: Now let's have a look at this bomb (they both examine it). It was never
switched on. The Mad Bomber forgot to push the button!
ARCHIE: Inspector, this is totally God.
WINSLOW: No kidding! Archie . . . I hear someone coming.
(ARCHIE and WINSLOW flatten themselves out on opposite sides of the door, just as
the MAD BOMBER returns through the door)
MAD BOMBER: Why didn't I hear a bang?
WINSLOW: Bang. (As the MAD BOMBER turns to WINSLOW, WINSLOW throws a
net over him. The MAD BOMBER struggles to free himself, but can't.)
ARCHIE: Where did that net come from?
WINSLOW: A good detective is always prepared.
ARCHIE: A good detective also trusts in Jesus.
WINSLOW: Amen to that.
THE END