Essay Unity Review Workshop
Unity review is an important step in writing and revising a paper, one in which you systematically
review your paper to make sure that your central ideas (thesis and topic sentences) support one another
and that the material in your essay supports your central ideas. Ideally, unity reviews are undertaken at
least twice in the essay-writing process: (1) after you have completed the Essay Blueprint and written
your first draft and (2) after your second draft. If you integrate systematic unity reviews into the how
you review your papers—either by working with a peer reviewer or a writing group, you will find that by
the end of this term, you will have attained a fair amount of skill in writing unified, organized essays that
clearly develop your central ideas (thesis statement and topic sentences).
You and your reviewer need to put the paper through two levels of unity review. Each is described
below.
Level 1 Review (Essay Level)
In Level 1 Review, you and your reviewer check to see if each of your body paragraphs has a
topic sentence that develops the thesis statement in one way or another. Your topic sentences should
be the first sentences of your body paragraphs. Ask yourself if each topic sentence clearly relates to,
develops, or has something to do with the thesis statement. Then label each topic sentence as outlined
below.




S, for supports the thesis statement
O, for off-topic or partially off-topic regarding the thesis statement
C, for contradicts or partially contradicts the thesis
NTS, for no topic sentence: paragraph lacks a topic sentence
What you may discover when you perform a Level 1 Review is that one or more of your body
paragraphs lack a topic sentence. Sometimes writers –and particularly so intuitive or global learners—
write unified paragraphs and then forget to write a topic sentence to tie the paragraph together.
Indeed, this is not at all unusual. If you suspect that you may have written a nice, well-unified body
paragraph that lacks a topic sentence, mark this paragraph and deal with it during the Level 2 Review.
Level 2 Review (Paragraph Level)
In Level 2 Review, you and your reviewer check to see if each sentence in each body paragraph
supports or explains the topic sentence. As you did for your Level 1 Review, ask yourself if each body
sentence clearly relates to or has something to do with the topic sentence. Then label each body
sentence as outlined below and share your findings with the writer.



S, for supports the topic sentence
O, for off-topic or partially off-topic regarding the topic sentence, and
C, for contradicts or partially contradicts the topic sentence.
Now is the time to deal with the body paragraph or two that may lack a topic sentence. As you go
through the sentences in the paragraph, look for a sentence that may serve as a topic sentence. You
might want to leave it in place to further unify your body paragraph, or you might want to move it to
Mt. Hood Community College
Mary Kelly Klein, Instructor, WR80-90-115
the beginning of the paragraph. If you choose the former, you will want to write a new topic
sentence that truly expresses the main idea of that body paragraph.
Review Outcomes: Level 1 (Essay Level)
Now it is time for the writer to make any changes necessary to unify his or her paper. Reviewers,
feel free to work with your writer if she or he so desires. Some writers like to work out their ideas by
themselves, and others thrive on input from a reviewer. In either case, the writer is faced with two
possible problems, and each will require a different solution.
1) Regarding off-topic topic sentences, the writer can:
a) Explain their connection to the thesis by rewriting the topic sentence. Including wording from
the thesis statement (snippets) or references to the thesis is a good way to tie the topic
sentence to the thesis.
b) Or the writer can rewrite the thesis statement to include the ideas expressed in an off-topic
paragraph.
c) Eliminate off-topic topic sentences altogether, which sometimes means that an entire
paragraph can or should be eliminated. (Make sure you save your ideas, writers! Never throw
away or delete a good idea!!!) This drastic solution needs to be thought through carefully, so if
you find yourself eliminating more than one paragraph, do consider an essay-preview
appointment with your instructor or a writing tutor.
2) Regarding a topic sentence that contradicts the thesis statement, two alternatives are available:
a) Eliminate it altogether, which sometimes means that an entire paragraph can or should be
eliminated. The problem with this, however, is that in an effort to be consistent and present a
unified piece of writing, the writer will be omitting important information, information that,
though contradictory, helps explain a complex situation or idea. This brings up the idea of
intellectual honesty, that is, college students are expected to deal with inconsistencies and
contradictory information by helping a reader make sense of it. Sweeping it under the rug by
eliminating it introduces the risk of intellectual dishonesty.
b) Change the thesis statement in order to deal with inconsistent or contradictory information by
using concession. The words though, although, even though, and while can be used to deal with
the contradictory information without disrupting the writer’s discussion of his or her main idea.
In this manner, the writer can present two points of view in one sentence, thereby giving the
reader a richer, more highly informative view of an issue, concept, person, event, and the like.
The thesis statement may then read something like this: “Although blah-blah-blah, yaddayadda-yadda.” In this case the “blah-blah-blah” is the contradictory information and the “yaddyadda-yadda” is the original thesis statement.
Review Outcomes: Level 2 (Paragraph Level)
Level 2 review outcomes are very similar to Level 1, above. Again, some writers like to work out
their ideas by themselves, and others thrive on peer input. In either case, the writer is faced with same
two possible problems as those outlined above for Level 1, and each will require different solutions to
resolve them. Follow the same process above, but apply the unity test to the body paragraph
sentences—do they support the paragraph’s topic sentence, are they off-topic, or do they contradict the
topic sentences. In addition, if you find that a number of sentences in a paragraph are off-topic or
contradict the topic sentence, the writer may be able to
Mt. Hood Community College
Mary Kelly Klein, Instructor, WR80-90-115
c) Group the off-topic and/or contradictory sentences into a new paragraph with its own topic
sentence. This presents another tricky issue for the writer to work out: Because the topic
sentence has two jobs-- it helps explain the essay’s thesis statement (or central idea) and it
unifies the body paragraph it heads, the writer needs to be aware of the fact that the new
paragraph needs to develop the thesis. If the writer chooses this path—adding a body
paragraph—and sometimes it is positively the best path, then he or she may need to change the
essay’s thesis statement by adding to the thesis statement, or in the case of contradictory
information, using concession (2b, above) to change the thesis statement.
Again, do ask for help if you hit a rough patch. I welcome writing conferences at any time in the
essay-writing process, and I especially love to help students think through and resolve unity problems.
So, email me (mary.kelly-klein.mhcc@gmail.com), text me (503-784-1498), call me at my office (503491-7126), or stop by my office during my drop-in office hours.
Mt. Hood Community College
Mary Kelly Klein, Instructor, WR80-90-115