Research Paper
Running Head: Research Paper
Romantic vs. Casual Touch in Relationships
Megan Cummings
West Virginia University, West Virginia
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Research Paper
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Abstract
Existing research has examined relationships and what the different types of touch
means in those relationships whether they are casual or more romantic. The purpose of
this project was to examine the difference in touch when looking at casual and romantic
relationships. In order to advance existing research I took a research sample of twentyfive male and female undergraduates and distributed a survey consisting of 5 open ended
questions about the touch used in their casual and romantic relationships. All the data
received was then coded and the results indicated that more intimate touch was used with
both males and females during romantic relationships than casual relationships. Future
research should examine further the differences in males and females and their touch
habits when studying causal and romantic relationships.
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The purpose of this paper is to compare existing research and current research
studied on the differences of touch when looking at causal and romantic relationships.
Those participating in romantic relationships might touch their romantic partner in a
different way than they would a friend or even family member. When observing people
in their natural interactions one can tell the difference in relationships simply by paying
attention to the types of touch involved. This paper will give an overview of responses
from students at West Virginia University by studying their touch when it comes to
casual and romantic relationships. It will discuss the methods, which were used to
conduct the study as well as the results found from data collected as well as looking at
existing research compared to this particular study.
Purpose
There are a number of existing studies done on different types of touch when
studying the status of a relationship and whether it is casual or romantic. Existing studies
which were used in order to gain further information on touch when it comes to the type
of relationships one is involved in gives information about public touch behavior,
communication cues in daily conversations and dating, nonverbal communication of
relationships among college students, relationships and touch in public settings, among
others.
The first study I related in particular to my research project are one study done by
researcher Elizabeth Andersen it was titled Descriptive Characteristics of Significant
Touch, the study focuses on the different types of touch in relational communication and
includes these types of touch from other cultures but the main focus is touch used in the
United States. It examines the meanings that touch represents throughout different
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relationships whether they are a doctor patient one or a more interpersonal relationship.
The study used 53 respondents all white, middle class, and educated beyond high school.
They were then asked to identify the touch, which was received, and the relationship with
the other individual. The results of this study showed peoples’ ideas of significant
touches were those such as a hug which would be thought of as greater significance than
if someone accidentally brushed up against them or bumped into them in passing. I feel
this relates to my research, because it shows that more intimate touches like a hug are
thought of to be more personal and remembered than those touches that are not as
intimate.
The next study, which I examined during my research, was by a few different
scholars Fichten, Taglakis, Jud, Wright, and Amsel titled, Verbal and Nonverbal
Communication cues in Daily Conversation and Dating. In this study they researched
how nonverbal and verbal cues in relationships exemplify different levels of interest
between people in dating and in casual relationships. The study included 50 adult
Canadian men and 34 adult Canadian women who were given a 12 item interview to find
out what they pay attention to more throughout interactions in different relationships, as
well as their meaning. The results showed that there were differences in the points of
view from the males and females when it came to daily conversations and relationship
responses. This is significant to my research, because my study included responses from
males and females on different dating vs. casual relationship interactions and what their
thoughts were on those interactions.
The next study was done by Guerrero and Andersen titled Patterns of Matching
and Initiation: touch Behavior and Touch Avoidance Across Romantic Relationship
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Stages. The purpose of this study was for the researchers to study the touch behavior
throughout different relationship stages. It was focused on the initiation of touch and at
what stage either the male or female becomes the initiator or the receiver, and how this
was viewed. It also examined married couples and whether or not the touch changed
once the couple entered that stage of the relationship. The specific types of intimacy
studied were immediacy behaviors, touch avoidance, and sex differences in touch. The
study consisted of 308 individuals dating and married based on their location and were
observed. Results of the study showed that partners shared similarities in their touch
behaviors when participating in a serious dating relationship and marital relationships and
as the relationship progresses the behavior increases. This is important to my study
because it helps me to look at different angles of the casual vs. romantic relationship
stages and how touch becomes important when the relationship becomes romantic.
McGinty, Knox, did the fourth study I found important to my research and
Zusman titled: Nonverbal and Verbal Communication in “Involved” and “Casual”
Relationships Among College Students. The focus of this study was about the difference
in nonverbal and verbal communication that people have in their “involved” and casual
relationships. The study was conducted with over two hundred and thirty male and
female college undergraduates who filled out a survey anonymously. The results of the
study showed that those who were casually dating did not focus on the nonverbal aspects
of communication in the relationship, as did the more involved daters. The more involved
daters preferred to participate in more nonverbal communication. This is important to my
research to help support the findings that I will later disclose about casual relationships
vs. romantic relationships.
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The next scholars who’s work I researched was that of Sorensen and Beatty the
article was titled The Interactive Effects of Touch and Touch Avoidance on Interpersonal
Evaluations. The focus of this study was examining the differences of touch and touch
avoidance when looking at attraction and interpersonal relationships. They used the
Likert-type scale, which they had 210 randomly selected undergraduates respond to
questions about touch interactions with the same sex and opposite sex. Results of this
study concluded that the amount of touch avoidance one experiences would have an
effect on their reactions to the touch and whom it is coming from. They also found that a
person’s task and social attraction as well as the situation would have an effect. It did
show that there was a difference between males and females on their levels of touch and
touch avoidance. This is significant to my study because I also studied male and female
undergraduates and asked them questions about touch and the appropriateness of touch in
certain situations and relationships.
The final study which I read in relation to my research was done by Willis and
Briggs titled Relationships and Touch in Public Settings. This study was done to
examine touch behavior between men and women and how each interprets the type of
touch depending on the relationship shared. Six hundred and ninety six pairs were
observed in their normal settings for example, parks, theatres, and restaurants and later
approached by either a male or female researcher and asked a few questions such as the
status of their relationship. The results showed that during the newer stages or courting
stages of the relationship the male would be the initiator and once the relationship
progressed to the later stages the woman would be more expressive and initiate touch.
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Ultimately existing research indicates touch is used in our everyday lives in many
different ways. The relationships and context under which we use a specific type of
touch also varies from person to person. We can use touch when in the beginning stages
of our relationship known as courtship, when we are comforting a friend, or even when
we want to be intimate with someone we care about. Touch can be perceived in a
number of different ways as well. Studies show different relationships will exemplify
what kind of touch will be used and whether it is acceptable or unacceptable to those
people or observers. When looking at romantic and casual relationships one can see that
the touching involved is different on many levels.
Methods
The methods of the research conducted in this particular study, the participants
used were among 25 students 17 males and 8 females all between the ages of 18-23. The
sample was taken from a Communication 100 class at West Virginia University. The
students were then given an open-ended survey with 6 different questions concerning
touch with romantic and casual (friendship) relationship. Such as “What kind of touch do
you engage in with friends,” What kind of touch do you engage in with romantic
partners,” “In what settings is touch appropriately used,” When is touch seen in a casual
relationship (friendship) seen as romantic,” “Why might you touch your romantic
partners more than your friends,” and “How does your touch with your friends or
romantic partners define your relationship.” They were to complete the survey with their
own personal opinions on what defines these relationships. Once the data was collected
all of the answers were then coded to fit a specific theme for each particular question
from each survey.
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Results
Once all the answers were coded the results showed a trend when it came to the
themes of the questions. First, when it comes to the type of touch they engage in with
friends, both males and females are more likely to touch their friends with a hug or
handshake rather than anything more intimate. On responded wrote, “this is more casual
or greeting related, high five, handshakes and hugs are all acceptable.” Only one out of
the 25 respondents stated, “I cuddle with some, I hug others,” in their response and that
was a female who said she had never been in a romantic relationship before.
Next when studying the responses for the type of touch they engage in with
romantic partners, 20 of both males and females said intimate touching such as kissing,
holding hands, and even sexual activity. One male responded with “We always hug and
kiss, but it depends if you are sexually active, you engage in more touch.” Another
female stated, “Kiss, hug, holding hands, rubbing back, cuddling, playing with hair.” Of
the five that responded differently, 3 of the participants did not answer the question, one
answered with “Hug longer, holding hands occasionally, much closer than just friends.”
And the last one responded with “Not enough.” These results show that there is in fact
more intimate and different types of touch engaged in when in a romantic relationship.
When observing the results to the question about which settings is romantic touch
appropriately used 14 responses said that to have appropriate romantic touch in public is
to keep it limited which means not being overly intimate, no prolonged kissing or groping
of your partner. On response stated, “It should be limited in public to kissing lightly or
hugging, but in private discretion is up to the couple.” Nine of the responses said that
romantic touching, or more intimate touching should be left in the privacy of the home or
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when the couple is alone. There was one person who did not answer the question and one
who stated, “Whenever you feel comfortable.” Here one can see the majority of the
respondents think that public displays of affection are acceptable but only when kept to
limited use of them.
Next when looking at the data collected about when casual touch is seen as
romantic 14 of the males and females said that holding hands and kissing is considered a
romantic activity, as soon as that line is crossed, a friendship has become more romantic.
One student wrote, “When a touch goes father than a hug or a pat on the back such as
kissing.” Six of the respondents stated that once the touch of the friendship becomes
more physical and causes more arousal to each other that too is considered to be the line
where casual friendship relationships have crossed into a romantic relationship. One
person wrote, “ Touching each others legs, hips, hands, whenever it passes the physical
boundary.”
When examining the responses as to why one might touch their romantic partner
more than their friends the results showed that the feelings for a romantic partner are
different than those you might have with your friends. Nineteen of the responses said the
feelings are stronger, there is more physical attraction, and you feel closer to that person
which will cause you to want to touch your romantic partner more than your friend. Three
participants said they touch their partners more due to the physical attraction that is
between them, one wrote, “Because you want to and they want to and you are more
physically attracted to them.” Two responses said it was because of love that they would
touch their romantic partners more than their friends. One respondent stated that it was
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due to proxemics and wrote, “Because you are around them more, and people will show
affection to whoever will accept it.”
Lastly, when asked how touch with friends or romantic partners defines the
relationship 18 of the respondents stated that it showed having a close and trustworthy
relationship with your friend or romantic partner. One participant stated, “It shows a
certain level of closeness and trust.” If there was no touch or touch avoidance then that
would mean something might be wrong with the relationship. In 7 of the responses from
this question participants replied that it does not influence the relationship at all and that
how you treat one another is in fact what defines a relationship whether it is casual or
romantic. One response to support this was, “It does not define, it is how you treat people
that defines them.” These results show that most males and females between the ages of
18 and 23 have similar thoughts and perceptions about touch when it comes to casual and
romantic relationships. The majority states that there is a line, which can be crossed
when changing from a casual friendship to a romantic relationship by using different
more intimate types of touch and where those types of touch should be used.
Discussion
Once can see that the study conducted recently with the 25 male and female
respondents, that touch can differentiate when being in a casual relationship to being in a
romantic relationship. The different types of touch used in casual relationships are more
light and easy going such as a handshake, pat on the back, or even sometimes a hug.
When crossing over into the romantic area of a relationship those types of touch become
more intimate such as hugging, holding hands, kissing, and even sexual activity. The
types of touch define your relationship because of physical attraction, amount of trust,
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and even how close you are with one another. The data collected illustrates the idea that
there are differences in touch when looking at romantic relationships vs. casual
relationships (friendship). This study can be compared to and supported by existing
literature because when examining the sources above one can see that according to
findings in the study done by Guerrero and Andersen, they found that as the relationship
progresses, the touch in the relationship increases and most of the time is similar between
both partners (Guerrero & Andersen, 1994). This goes with the data collected that says
when a casual relationship starts to become romantic there is a difference in the touch
used in that relationship, it could be more intimate, but aside from the type of touch the
amount of touch will increase exemplifying the progress of that relationship. Next comes
from an article about nonverbal vs. verbal communication. It was revealed in the article
that the study showed when in more romantic relationships participants preferred more
nonverbal communication which could vary from facial expressions to touch in
relationships rather than verbal communication, which was more preferred in casual
relationships (McGinty, Knox, & Zusman, 2003). This again supports the results from the
recent study that you will engage in less touching (nonverbal communication) in your
casual relationships where they said the most used touching would be giving high fives,
patting on the back, and short length hugs. When it more romantic relationships the
respondents stated that nonverbal communication is important in the relationship to show
that it is in a good place and there are not any problems. It increases the shared sense of
trust and closeness between the partners. When examining another article titled
Relationships and Touch in Public Settings, it was shown that when males were defining
the fact that they were courting the female, they initiated touch more in the way to show
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their interest and attraction towards the woman, while in the later stages of the
relationship the woman felt more comfortable and was then more likely to initiate the
touching between the two (Willis & Briggs, 1992). This supports the results of the data
collected, because when discussing what actions would change a relationship from casual
to romantic, more males said they would only being to use more intimate touch such as
hand holding or kissing when they felt more of a physical attraction to the female. And
females stated when they were actually in a romantic relationship they would use more
intimate touch such as cuddling and kissing when in private settings alone with their
partner. This shows that as the relationship progresses to being alone in a more intimate
setting then they would use touch more. Touch avoidance can also be considered when
comparing existing research to the data collected. In an article titled The Interactive
Effects of Touch and Touch Avoidance on Interpersonal Evaluations, the researchers
found that if a person is high in touch avoidance the type of touch received will have a
major effect on them such as a man touching another man for too long would cause
discomfort. However, when a female touched another female for an extended period of
time it would not have the same effect (Sorensen & Beatty, 1988). This can support the
data found, because most men stated that they kept their touch with their friends to a
simple handshake, pat on the back, or “fist bump.” And most females who participated in
the study admitted that they gave handshakes as well as hugging their friends. Also in the
study conducted, some men said that touching in public such as “making out” or
“groping” a partner is considered inappropriate and they did not participate in that kind of
activity in public but rather in the privacy of their own home. When reading an article
titled Descriptive Characteristics of Significant Touch, Andersen wrote:
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Because interpersonal touch apparently has the capacity to convey
messages, and because in much of the United States interpersonal
touch is not used a great deal and a cultural norm seems to discourage
physical touching between people, then when touch is used it may be
an especially important form of behavior (Andersen, 1987, p.64).
This statement supports the idea that a majority of the students responded to the question
of how touch defines the relationship with the reasons that it makes them feel closer or
have more trust between one another. They also stated that it exemplifies a level of
comfort between people, rather than discomfort due to how close they are. This also goes
along with the findings from responses that more intimate touching should be used in
private rather than overused in public areas. Another article stated:
The majority of touches consist of kisses, side-by-side hugs, frontal upperbody hugs, full body hugs from the front or back, and hugs and kisses
(70.9%) Thus, it is mainly the nature of touch, combined with relational
definition, which communicates affection (Jones & Yarbrough, 1985, p.
44).
This statement supports the findings that types of touch will differ depending on what
type of relationship you share with the other person. If you want to show affection
towards that person may they be a romantic partner, you might use any form of these
touches that you would not use with someone who is just your friend. And even the
specific types of touches mentioned in the article like kissing and hugs were mentioned in
most of the responses received from the participants of my study.
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In conclusion, one can see that when looking at the demographic of 25 college
students between the ages of 18 and 23, more that 50% of the 25 respondents agreed on
the type of touch they use in romantic vs. casual relationships, where romantic touch is
appropriate, how the type of touch defines a relationship, and where different types of
touching can change a relationship from casual to romantic. Of these 25 respondents the
data showed that they felt in a romantic relationship touching is more intimate due to the
amount of physical attractiveness between partners, and in casual relationships touching
is kept to a minimum of a hug or a handshake. There were a few who had more touch
within their group of friends when it came to casual relationships but that was mainly
females with females and the extent of the touch was hugging. Males tended to only be
more intimate with their female friends and only when they were in a romantic
relationship or in the courting stage of the relationship to show interest. There can be
further study of this type of correlation, by asking more questions, or narrowing it down
to only romantic relationships being studied, or only casual relationships being studied. It
became a little difficult when there was not an even amount of males to females, or when
the students had never partaken in a romantic relationship before. In addition some of the
participants did not fill out all of the questions from the survey, so their information could
not be gathered. Also, other students did not take the survey seriously and wrote down
answers, which were inappropriate for the use of this study so therefore it was difficult to
include their answers on the results of the study. When comparing existing research to the
concept of this analysis, I found that most of the existing research helped to support the
results, which were found as well as the purpose of the study. Touch is something that
will constantly be studied no matter what the relationship because it occurs in our every
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day lives. The purpose of this study was to associate touch and relationship and allow
others to understand where different types of touches come from when looking at casual
vs. romantic relationships.
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References
Andersen, E. (1987). Descriptive Characteristics of Significant Touch. Journal of the
Northwest Communication Association, 15, 63-71.
Fichten, C., Tagalakis, V., Jud, D., Wright, J., & Amsel, R., (1992). Verbal and
Nonverbal Communication cues in Daily Conversation and Dating. Journal of
Social Psychology, 6, 751.
Guerrero, L., & Andersen, P. A. (1994). Patterns of Matching and Initiation: Touch
Behavior and Touch Avoidance Across Romantic Relationship Stages. Journal of
Nonverbal Behavior, Vol. 18 Issue 2, 137-153.
McGinty, K., Knox, D., Zusman, M., (2003). Nonverbal and Verbal Communication in
“Involved” and “Casual” Relationships Among College Students. College Student
Journal, 1, 68.
Sorensen, G., & Beatty, M., (1988). The Interactive Effects of Touch and Touch
Avoidance on Interpersonal Evaluations. Communication Research Reports, 5,
84-90.
Willis Jr., F., & Briggs, L., (1992). Relationships and Touch in Public Settings. Journal
of Nonverbal Behavior, Vol. 16 Issue 1, 55-63.