When You See Me in Veil
When you see me in the niqab, do you see a woman doing her shopping, going to study, work or get out for a while or
do you see a woman who underneath could never smile or enjoy her life, always chained to the kitchen, never
exposed herself to strangers so she's alive but not living.
Do you see me as a human with material on my face or do you see me as a disgrace because you think Arab is my
race and I can't dress as I please, because of course I really want to wear apple bottom jeans, or a mini-skirt,
revealing my body to any man who sees, because without praise from others I couldn't possibly be pleased!
Do you see me as a person who cried on 9/11 or am I a potential terrorist under all that garb. That's what I am
right? I could never be American, speak English or drive a car. I am far from human. I'm a cold-blooded killer. I
deserve to be bombed so I need to go back where I came from somewhere far, in the Middle East where people
fight and die and starve.
Did you know I'm a sister? Did you know I'm a mother? Did you know I would die for my kids like any other? Did
you know that when I go out I put the niqab on. When I get home it goes off and I put on whatever I want. I smile,
dance and be free. I laugh with my family, work, play, and I be the woman I am, but I don't need a stranger to look
at me the way my husband looks at me.
Did you know that I pray for peace, yes I ask of the Lord. Or did you think that us Muslims could never know God?
May God guide you. Can you not see that underneath this niqab is someone who feels, laughs and cries just like you,
just like me. Many times I've smiled underneath this veil and felt grateful to be protected from prying eyes and
the heat of the sun. But all you can see is somebody who ain't free.
I am free from stilettos. I am free from having to look like a barbie doll to get attention, compliments and praise.
I am free from not being able to walk out without first putting on my face, plucking eyebrows and drawing them in,
painting on my lips and face, struggling to be unnaturally thin. Because woman's not good enough as she is, she's
gotta be attractive. If she ain't she won't win the praises of others, the favors, the money, the job she wants,
the men who tell her she's stunning.
You're not stunning to them when you're too fat or short or black. That's ugly right? You have to be what they
think's attractive. So am I really a slave? Yes I am, to God. What about you? Are you really that free? To be
what you are? Or is it me?
I'm not interested in fame, fortune or wine. Girl don't throw your pearls to swine in my home. I will shine with my
husband who loves me. As for men I don't know, when I go outside, the niqab is what I show.
So next time you see me or a woman with the veil, don't assume our life is oppressive as hell. We're all different
just like other human beings. I can't speak for others but I can speak for myself. I've reached a level of
contentment I never knew before I purified my heart, and I wanted more of this bliss I was feeling. So I put on
the veil to be closer to God and away from this worldly mess of striving for stuff we will lose in the end of life's
test.
So what do you see now? A woman who hates what she wears, who suffers a terrible fate? I'm not what you think,
you don't even know. So next time you see the niqab there's no need to show that sour face, that glare, because
you can't see her hair.
I bet you never thought I was happy to wear it.
~Um Ibrahim Charlene Gray (I wrote this poem a few years ago, feel free to share it as long as my name is mentioned wa
jazak Allah khair, thanks for reading it.)