(Adelaide is a member of the Virginia Delta Chapter, Chesterfield County, Midlothian, VA)
** Remember that before you begin presenting; be sure to have the series of purses in the correct order that they are mentioned. I usually hide all of the smaller purses inside the one giant purse and then pull them out, accordingly. Additionally, you'll want to pre-set and hide the mentioned items for the end part with the grandma example (eyeglasses, tissue/hanky, Band-Aid, and dollar bill) in your bra or cleavage to be able to reveal the items when they are mentioned. Have fun!

PURSE-onality
I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “You are what you eat.” However, I prefer the idea: “You are what you CARRY.”, in other words, your purse.
Nothing in the world has the form, function, and fashion that a purse provides for a woman. I mean, how many of you came here for this learning session or meeting with a purse full of items you don’t need? You knew you were only going to be here for a matter of 30-40 minutes, but for so many of us, it is as much a fashion emblem or an accessory as it is a necessity.
Purses are si gnificant for women. I mean, we even go as far as “trying on” on purse. You’ve seen this. Perhaps you do it, too. I must not be the only one who does it. After all, there ARE mirrors in the purse department, right?
You try it on, pose, look in the m irror… see if makes your hips look big. You want to make sure you wear it well, right?
Men, on the other hand, don’t have mirrors in the wallet department. They don’t try them on. I wonder how men choose a wallet. Shove it in a back pocket, move, wiggle side-toside, and decide that’s the one? Hmm, maybe for men it is more about the fit than the look. That must be it. I mean, we have all seen those men with cinderblock-size wallets in their back pocket, but you’ve never once heard a guy ask, “Does this wallet make my butt look big?”
For us, it often requires an extensive search to discover the ‘right purse’, doesn’t it? Even if NASA creates the perfect purse, with all the right pockets, strap length, weight, price, and a built-in mirror, I am NOT going to carry it if it makes my butt look bigger! I’m constantly questing for the perfect purse.

Even when I think I may have found it, I still keep one eye open. Your husband or significant other knows that you are true to him, but does he know that your purse plays the field?
The contents of a woman’s purse are almost sacred. Your best friend won’t dare go into your purse. Your man better not, either. In fact, I made sure of that. While you were dating your husband, did you put a mousetrap in your purse? Wow! I bet that this little trick trained him really quick! It’s between a woman and her maker as to the contents of her purse.
In fact, you can tell a lot about a woman by what she carries and the kind of purse she chooses to wear. It’s kind of a “purse-onality” key to a woman based on what she carries, a little psychological evaluation of sorts, eh?
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For example, there is the TINY TOTER . (Reveal the smallest purse.)
This type of sister:
-probably leads a very controlled life if she can fit all that she needs in
here (pointing to the tiny purse)
-she might ingest exactly the same number of calories each day within her purse, she carries 1 unlimited American Express card,
- 1 tiny sample of lipstick (because a full size might “bloat” the purse), and
- 1 neatly folded antibacterial wipe
This kind of sister might be a tad persnickety and quite particular
If you ever find yourself in any trouble, in a real pi ckle, say… IN JAIL, you will definitely need (and want) a sister with a purse like this. She is the only one with the unlimited American Express who’ll be able to bail you out: THE
TINY TOTER sister!
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The next type of “Purse-onality” is the
MORE IS BETTER kind of gal.
(Reveal the largest purse.)
This type of sister:
could survive 2 ½ weeks in the arctic tundra
-has a variety of different colored markers
-has credit cards –plural, but cannot seem to find any of them in the vast expanse of her purse
-has half the snack aisle from 7-11
-has a working pharmacy for a variety of ailments
-never really got over the diaper bag phase, and probably has wet
wipes and juice boxes available
If you ever find yourself in any trouble, in a real pickle, say… IN JAIL, you will definitely need (and want) a sister with a purse like this. She is the only one with the 7-in-1 McGyver tool to help bust you out of the slammer: the
MORE IS BETTER sister!
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The next type of “Purse-onality” is the SERIAL MONOGAMIST sister.
(Reveal the plain and very traditional purse.)
This type of sister:
-buys one purse and carries it every day for ten years or until it is no longer functional
-chooses a plain, sturdy purse so it will last
-is obviously more about function and less about fashion.
-has several pens, many of which may not work. keeps the useless pens out of loyalty to the bank that gave them to her
-she is likely to have individually wrapped butterscotch or peppermint
-she candies in her purse and a small pack of Kleenex.
-She probably carries cash and a small coin purse inside this very sturdy and functional purse

If you ever find yourself in any trouble, i n a real pickle, say… IN JAIL, you will definitely need (and want) a sister with a purse like this. She is the only one who’ll loyally be outside the jail holding a candlelight vigil with signs that read: “My friend is innocent!”: the SERIAL MONOGAMIST sister!
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The next type of “Purse-onality” is the
PURSE SKITZOPHRENIC sister.
(Reveal the fun, colorful purse.)
This type of sister:
-is the fun person in your group of friends
-is always late for the party because she isn’t sure where it is
will call you and say, “Honey, I’m on my way, but I’m lost.”
-is likely to be the life of the party once she finally gets there
carries at least three fun lipstick colors, even if they don’t match her outfit
-her purse is a party just waiting to happen
If you ever find yourself in any trouble, in a real pickle, say… IN JAIL, she is probably the one responsible for your being in jail in the first place , but she’ll be sitting right next to you saying, “Honey, wasn’t that the most fun you ever had in your whole life ?”
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Now, don’t ya’ll get all righteous on me because I haven’t mentioned your type of purse yet. If I haven’t covered your purse-onality yet, perhaps
YOUR CAR IS YOUR PURSE.

You know this is you if you have ever said to one of your children in any 24hour period, “Honey, run out to the car and get Momma her wallet or whatever it is that should be in your purse but is instead in your car. If that scenario fits you, YOUR CAR IS YOUR PURSE/YOUR PURSE IS YOUR
CAR.
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Or, if that didn’t describe you, then maybe you are more like my dear Big
Mama. She only carried a real purse to church on Sundays. Every other day of the week, she kept her purse a lot closer to her…heart.
(Subtly gesture toward your chest.) Yours, too?
You know, when I was a little itty bitty girl, a general scene with my Big
Mama might have gone a little something like this:
“Oh, Sugar, did you fall and scrape your knee? Let Big Mama take a look.”
(Pull out pre-positioned eyeglasses.)
“My goodness, do you need Big Mama to doctor it up with a bandage?”
(Pull out pre
-positioned band-aid.)
-
“Baby Girl, it’ll be okay. Do not cry! Let Big Mama wipe your tears!” (Pull out pre-positioned tissue or handkerchief.)
“Big Mama knows just what you need. You’ll feel better if you go to the store and buy yourself a little somethingsomething…” (Pull out prepositioned dollar bill.)
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So, ladies, regardless of what you call it, your handbag, your pocket book, or your purse, what you carry sure does reveal a great deal about yourself.
But let’s face it: men can’t hold a candle to us. As women, we sure do have it all IN THE BAG!
! 
This presentation was written by Kerri Fretwell, a prospective Alpha Delta Kappa member. Kerri teaches
Drama at Cosby High School, Chesterfield County, VA.