Teen Dating Violence:
Questions to Ask/Things to Do
Questions To Ask In Identifying Abusive Behavior
Are you unable to disagree with him/her?
Does your partner get jealous when you go out or talk with others?
Does your partner put you down, but then tell you he/she loves you?
Does your partner constantly check up on you?
Have you been held down, shoved, pushed, hit, kicked or had things
thrown at you by your partner?
Do you find your partner saying "I can't live without you?
Does your partner frighten or intimidate you?
Does your partner make you choose between him/her or family and
friends?
Are you constantly apologizing for your partner's behavior?
Has your partner forced or intimidated you into having sex?
Do you feel like you have to justify everything to your partner?
Are you afraid to break up with your partner because you fear for your
personal safety?
Does your partner try to impose restrictions on the way you dress or
your appearance?
If you answered "yes" to one or more of the above questions, then the
relationship may be abusive. Part of ending the violence is breaking the silence
about the abuse. You CAN find a way out. Talk with someone who can help,
such as your parents, a teacher, a school guidance counselor, a parent of one of
your friends, a coach, an advisor, or your employer.
Things to do when ending an abusive relationship
• Keep a dated record of the abuse.
• Do not meet your partner alone or let him/her in your home or car
when you are alone.
• Avoid being alone at school, at work, and on the way to and from
places.
• Vary the routes and times you travel to and from home, school, or
work.
• Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.
• Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner confronts you or
becomes abusive.
Is Your Relationship With Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Abusive?
Abuse can be divided into three main categories: verbal/emotional, sexual, and
physical. Isolation and intimidation are also components. All abuse starts with
verbal/emotional and most often escalates to sexual, and/or physical violence.
Emotional Abuse
• Does your boyfriend/girlfriend continually call you names or put you down?
• Does he/she make you feel bad about yourself or tell you that no one would
want to go out with you?
• Does he/she tell you how to dress, how to wear your hair, and/or your
makeup?
• Do you apologize for their behavior when they treat you badly?
Intimidation/Isolation
• Does he/she scare you by smashing things, yelling at you or driving recklessly?
• Does he/she follow you around at school or in the community?
• Do you have to justify everything you do, every place you go and every person
you see to avoid
his/her temper?
• Does he/she use the phone to monitor where you are or get angry If you're
not home when he/she calls?
• Do you avoid friends or family or doing things you enjoy because of their
jealousy?
Threats
• Has he/she ever made or sometimes carried out threats to hurt you physically
or emotionally?
• Has he/she threatened suicide if you leave the relationship?
• Has he/she threatened to break up with you if you don't do what they want?
Sexual Abuse
• Does he/she make you have sex when you don't want to or perform sex acts
you don't want to do?
• Does he/she make you feel unattractive, sexually ashamed or humiliated?
• Does he/she constantly accuse you of flirting with other guys/girls or act
extremely jealous?
Physical Violence
• Has he/she ever pushed or shoved you?
• Has he/she hit, punched, slapped, choked or bit you?
• Has he/she ever tried to physically restrain you to keep you from leaving?
• Has he/she ever thrown something at you to hurt you?
• Has he/she threatened to use a weapon against you?
If you feel as if you might be in an unhealthy relationship, call the 24-hourcrisis line to talk about a plan for your safety. Everything will be confidential.
Call 1-800-223-7385 or in most areas of Indiana, 211.
Updated 1/24/11