Consolation Page 1
Helping Those Who Are Hurting – “The Ministry of Consolation”
©2014 “Joy in the Mourning”® Center for Life Losses
Linda Gill, RN, MSN, MA, LPC
What is consolation? What does it mean to console?
Old Testament words that have been translated in English as “console” or
“consolation:”
The verb “to console”:
In 2 Sam 10:2
Let’s look at the noun “consolation”.
Ps. 94:19 talks about the “consolations” of God.
New Testament words from which the English words “console” or “consolation”
were translated:
Jn.11:19
This is just a small sampling of the original and different Hebrew and Greek words
translated in English as “consolation” in the OT and NT. From them, we can derive
several different shades of meaning regarding what it means to console or to be
consoled:
1. To give or receive comfort
2. To give or receive compassion
3. To give or receive encouragement
4. To give or receive exhortation
5. To give or receive help
6. To express sorrow or sympathetic understanding
7. To stand beside or to be with in an encouraging or consoling way
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Characteristics of Consolation: The Person and work of the Holy Spirit, and the
Person of Jesus Christ
Parakelo —the Greek word from which we get the English word “Paraclete”
 to call to one’s side
 to plead another’s cause
 an advocate
In John’s Gospel, the word parakelo is used 3 different times to speak of the Holy Spirit
as “the Comforter” or “Helper.”
The Amplified Bible translates John 14:16 this way:
Jesus is speaking and says… “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another
Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that
He may remain with you forever…
John 15:26
John 16:7
The apostle John uses the same word parakleo in his first letter.
1 John 2:1 in the Amplified Bible reads:
“…if anyone should sin, we have an Advocate (One who will intercede for us) with the
Father--[it is] Jesus Christ the righteous...”
All of the words that have been translated “consolation” or “console” have to do with
things the Holy Spirit and Jesus do for us:
1. giving us comfort
2. lending us encouragement
3. exhortation - speaking the truth to us in love
4. giving us strength (or being our strength); undergirding us
5. interceding for us (standing in the gap for us between us and God the Father)
6. giving us counsel
7. being our advocate—that is: being with us; standing with us or beside us; speaking on
our behalf
These are the things that we, as believers, are called to do for each other: to comfort,
encourage, speak truth in love, lend our strength to uphold another, intercede for one
another by praying, give wise counsel, and walk along beside each other as we navigate
the challenges and struggles of this life.
Consolation = “Being with”
Empathy:
Sympathy:
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What consolation isn’t:
1. Consolation isn’t “religious” statements designed to “fix” another person.
Consolation isn’t like Job’s friends. In Job 2, scripture tells us that Job’s three friends
came to sympathize with him and comfort him”—that is, they came to console him.
They only consoled while they sat with him. They ceased consoling when they began
to speak, telling him why he was in the situation he was in.
In Job 42, God chastises Job’s friends.
It is important to notice that God was never angry with Job and never punished him
for the questions he had or for crying out to Him. God did not punish Job for
struggling or for hurting.
2. Consolation isn’t telling someone to “be strong,” to keep a “stiff upper lip,” or telling
them that they should “stop crying,” or “move on.”
3. Consolation never judges a feeling. Feelings are not right or wrong… they just are!
Consolation doesn’t tell another person what he “should” or “shouldn’t” be feeling,
thinking, or doing. It accepts the feeling and allows the other person to own it without
judgment.
What consolation is:
1. Consolation is the kind of “being with” someone that doesn’t have to explain the
“whys” of the situation, does not require the person to respond in a specified way, and
doesn’t try to “fix” the person’s pain.
2. Consolation is a kind of encouragement that allows free and honest expression of
feelings and struggles and does not minimize pain and suffering. It doesn’t judge the
person for being in pain or for not understanding why the pain is happening. It
doesn’t seek to give answers, only to be fully present and hear the heart of the other
person.
3. Consolation is an unconditional acceptance of another that does not require the other
person to have to do or be anything special to receive the acceptance.
4. Consolation is a kind of “being with” that goes beyond what is expected. It is an
availability and willingness to do things for another person when the other does not
know what to do—or is too tired or sad to do it. Sometimes it calls on us to be an
advocate to protect a person’s privacy or to address needs that we know the other
person has but will not express.
Note: Advocacy is not gossip.