Assignment 4: Modest Proposal
Jonathan Swift’s “Modest Proposal” is a satirical essay. He takes a real problem and comes up
with a solution so outrageous that no one will accept it, thereby forcing people to consider more
reasonable solutions to the problem. A few things to note about his essay:
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He starts out discussing the common ground – a reality that every agrees is a problem
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In his satire, he mentions some other, more realistic solutions that people have rejected. Even
though he mocks those solutions, by including those solutions in his essay, he encourages
people to reconsider them.
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Swift make it clear who he believes are the villains in the situation.
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Swift’s proposal is very logical, yet something keeps readers from following through with his
ideas – and by reminding people that they believe in that “something,” Swift leads his readers
to believe that a real solution must be found.
In the 4th paper, your job is to write a similar essay, a “modest proposal” of your own: take a real
problem and come up with a solution that is outrageous, one that requires the reader to consider
more reasonable solutions to the problem.
Technical requirements:
1. This essay must be 500+ words long.
2. The topic does not have to be about college, but the audience is Century College
administrators. Therefore, the level of formality in the paper is relatively high.
3. The focus of grading for this paper will be on your ability to construct a 5-paragraph style
essay, with a forecasting thesis statement, topic sentences at the beginning of each body
paragraph, concluding sentences at the end of each body paragraph, specific details to
support your main idea, an effective introduction and conclusion, and a persuasive tone
throughout. As it states above, the paper should focus on a satirical solution to a real
problem.
4. This essay is due in the drop box by May 7th.
A sample essay is on the next page. This sample essay takes me as the audience; yours will have
Century administrators as an audience. Also note that this sample is shorter than your essay will
be.
Assignment 4: Modest Proposal
SAMPLE “MODEST PROPOSAL”
I’m writing to suggest that you implement a defenestration program in order to improve the
quality of education received by English 1021 students. This process would involve you
throwing out the window students who neglect to complete assignments, who turn in papers not
up to par, who plagiarize, who skip class, or who fail to participate in class.
Without doubt, the threat of bodily harm will encourage your students to work harder. The
process will also teach your students about logic, emotions, and credibility:
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Logic: “If I succeed, then I won’t get thrown out the window.”
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Emotions: “I don’t want to get thrown out the window.”
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Credibility: “If she’s capable of throwing people out the window, then she’s gotta
have some power.”
Of course, problems may arise with this process. For instance, what do you do if your entire class
fails to meet your standards? The answer is simple: throw them all out the window! It’ll give you
a little workout and you’ll be done with class early (allowing you to catch up on extra work so
you’ll have more time to spend with your twins).
I’d also like to suggest that you create a system where the students who are succeeding in the
class are rewarded. How should you reward them? Easy: let them defenestrate the students who
are in violation of your codes. Certainly the thrill associated with tossing a classmate out the
window will set a drive in them to succeed. This system will make students not only strive for
their personal best, but will also make them more competitive with the other students in the class.
Now you might be wondering: “If this idea is so great, why hasn’t anyone done it before?” Well,
with all of the commotion concerning Nuns whipping Catholic schoolboys and girls, college
instructors have been afraid to ask. If you appeal to the Board about defenestration, obviously
they will understand how this will thoroughly help improve the quality of education your
students are receiving and allow you to go through with the process.
I hope you will consider pioneering a revolution to English 1021 education by instituting
defenestration in your classroom.