Character List:
Marco
Star-Bellied Sneetches
Plain-Bellied Sneetches
Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Adapted from the book by Dr. Seuss
Marco: Once upon a time, in a place just like this, lived the Sneetches;
The Star Belly Sneetches had bellies with stars.
And the Plain Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.
Their stars weren’t so big. In fact, they were really so small
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.
But because they had stars, all the Star Belly Sneetches
would brag,
SBS: “We’re the best kind of sneetch on the beaches.
With my snoot in the air, I will sniff and I’ll snort,
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
Marco: And whenever they’d meet some, when they were out walking,
SBS: I’d hike right on past them without even talking. Ha!
PBS kids: When the Star Belly children went out to play ball,
Could we Plain Belly kids get into the game? Not at all.
We can only play if our bellies have stars and as
Plain Belly children, we have none anywhars.
PBS 1: When the Star Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
PBS 2: They never invited us Plain Belly Sneetches.
They left us out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept us away. Never let us come near.
PBS 1 & 2: And that’s how they treated us year after year!
McBean: Then one day… while the Plain Belly Sneetches sat
wishing their bellies had stars…I, Sylvester McMonkey McBean,
zipped up in the strangest of cars

My friends, I announced in a voice clear and keen
My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
And I’ve heard of your troubles. I’ve heard you’re unhappy.
But I can fix that. I’m the Fix-It-Up Chappie.
I’ve come here to help you. I have what you need.
And my prices are low. And I work at great speed.
And my work is one hundred percent guaranteed!
(McBean starts assembling his machine as he talks to the
Plain Belly Sneetches)
McBean: So you all want stars like a Star Belly Sneetch…?
My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”
Just pay me your money and hop right aboard.
That’s right! Clamber inside. Let my big machine roar!
(Machine shakes and makes series of cartoonish noises and Star Belly
Sneetches gather around to watch, then Plain Belly Sneetches start
coming out of other end of machine with stars on their bellies)
Former PBS: We’re exactly like you! You can’t tell us apart.
We’re just like all of you sneetches who had stars at the start!
We’re all just the same, now you snooty old smarties!
And now we can go to your frankfurter parties.
SBS: Good grief! We’re the ones who had our stars first!
We’re still the best Sneetches and you’re still the worst!
But now with all of you starred, how will we know
If which kind is what or who or how. Oh no!
McBean: Not so fast, confused Sneetches, I say with a wink
Certainly things aren’t as bad as you think!
So you don’t know who’s who. That is perfectly true.
But come with me friends. Do you know what I’ll do?
I’ll make you again, the best Sneetches on beaches
And all it will cost you is ten dollar eaches.
(Starts up machine again and SBSs start to enter)
McBean: Belly stars are no longer in style, what’s that mean?
That all of you need a trip through my Star-Off machine.
This wonderful contraption will take off your stars
So you won’t look like those Sneetches who have them on thars.
(The SBSs all enter and exit the machine with stars removed)
My handy machine, working precisely

Is removing the stars from your tummies quite nicely.
(The SBSs all raise their snoots in the air and parade past
the other Sneetches)
SBSs: We know who is who! Now there isn’t a doubt.
The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!
We know who is who! Now there isn’t a doubt.
The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!
PBSs: Well, that makes those of us with stars frightfully mad.
Since wearing a star now is frightfully bad!
McBean: Not to worry, we can fix that, or my name’s not McBean
You are all invited into my Star Off machine
Marco: Then, of course from THEN on, as you probably guess
Things really got into a horrible mess.
All the rest of that day, The fix-it-up chappie kept fixing up Sneetches!
McBean: Off again………..On again………..In again……Out again!
Keep paying your money and keep running through
Until neither the Plain or the Starred really knew
Whether this one was that one…or what one was who
Whether this one was that one or what one was who.
Now that every last cent of your money is spent
It is time to pack up
Marco: And offwards he went. And he laughed as he drove in his car
on the beach
McBean: They never will learn. No. You can’t teach a Sneetch!
Marco: But McBean was quite wrong. I’m quite happy to say
That the Sneetches got really smart on that day.
SBSs: That day we decided that Sneetches are Sneetches
PBSs: And that no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches
SBSs: All of us Sneetches forgot about stars
PBSs: And whether we had one, or not, anywhars.