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Behaviors
Remediation and Training Institute
Robert Taggart, PhD - Copyright 2005
BEHAVIORS
IT TAKES ALL KINDS
Personality. Everybody has one. And everybody's is different.
But what is a personality?
A personality is a combination of various behaviors. One
person's personality may be quiet and conservative, while
another's may be outgoing and adventurous. By identifying and
understanding the behaviors that make up a personality, you can
better know yourself and others. Knowledge often generates
acceptance and with acceptance comes improved relationswith
oneself as well as with others.
For example, you may be outgoing and like to socialize, while a
friend of yours may be more low-keyed and enjoy spending time
alone. If you understand and value these behavioral differences,
you can learn and grow from each other, instead of trying to
convince each other "who's right" or "who's wrong."
-1-
We need each other because of our differences. If one person is
strong while another is weak, they can pull together to create a
powerful team. Life would be pretty dull and colorless if we were
all alike.
To better understand your personality and the personalities of
others, there are several questions to consider:
•
What Are Our Needs? During various times in our lives, we are driven
by various needs. At times we are concerned about the basic needs of
food and shelter. At other times, the need for love and social acceptance
is the driving force. Becoming aware of our and other's needs helps us to
understand why we are behaving a particular way.
•
Why Study Behaviors? The more you know about yourself, the more
capable you are of making choices concerning how you might react to a
given person or situation. Likewise, the more you understand the
behaviors of others, the better you will be able to predict and cope with
their actions. Research shows that self-knowledge is closely linked with
personal and professional success.
•
What Are the Personality Types? Everyone is different but people's
behaviors tend to cluster around distinct personality types.
Your
personality may be a combination of one, two, or even three of the
following types: Boss, Socializer, Stabilizer, or Perfectionist. Knowing
what styles are predominate in your personality is the first step to making
the most of yourself and your interactions.
•
How Do You Cope with Different Personalities? When you can
recognize and appreciate the various behavioral styles that make up a
personality, you can more effectively relate to a person. The differences
that used to frustrate you are more likely fascinate you now!
•
How Can Different Personalities Get Along? Self-understanding is the
first step to improving relations at work and at home. The second step is
understanding others. The third step is applying this understanding to
improve relations in all areas of your life.
-2-
PRACTICE EXERCISE: Check (✔) all the behaviors that you
feel describe you. There are no right or wrong answers. This is
the beginning of the process of self-discovery and understanding.
1. I usually like challenges.
2. I tend to be persuasive.
3. I am usually relaxed and easy going.
4. I tend to have my own high standards.
5. I prefer to listen more than talk.
6. I prefer to talk more than listen.
7. I avoid conflict whenever possible.
8. I see myself as bold.
9. I see myself as lively and energetic.
10. I see myself as cautious.
11. I tend to be outgoing.
12. I am outcome oriented.
13. I am a people person.
14. I seek perfection.
15. I like to try out new things.
-3-
NEEDS
Why do people behave differently? One reason is because people
are motivated by different needs.
A famous psychologist by the name of Abraham Maslow
identified three basic levels of needs: the Existence level, the
Relationship level, and the Fulfillment level.
Fulfillment
Level
Need for self-actualization.
Becoming all we are capable
of becoming
Relationship Level
Need for love, affection and belonging.
Self esteem and achievement.
Existence Level
Need for oxygen, food, shelter.
Safety and security needs.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
The Existence level needs emphasizes survival and security. To
insure our survival we need food, shelter, sleep, liquid and
oxygen. At this level, we also need to feel safesafe from harm
or loss.
-4-
If you are concerned about where the next paycheck is coming
from, you are operating on the Existence level. It may be difficult
for you to give much attention to relationships or fulfillment when
your stomach is growling or your roof is leaking.
At the Relationship level, we need to feel a sense of belonging
and self-esteem. This level includes love, affection, mastery, and
achievement.
When your Existence level needs are fundamentally met, you will
naturally move on to trying to meet the needs of the Relationship
level. Once these needs are addressed, you may begin to ask: "Is
there more?"
At the Fulfillment level, we seek "self-actualization." To
"actualize" means to realize potentialto "be all you can be."
Fulfillment is growing in a direction that allows us to use our
potential according to our goals, expectations, and purposes in
life.
Self-actualization is a healthy person's prime motivation.
means progressing up the hierarchy of needs.
-5-
It
Most people are continually moving between the various levels of
needs. If you are aware of what need is motivating a person, you
might have more understanding and acceptance of other people's
concerns. You might even be able to help them meet their basic
needs, inspire their relationships, and actualize their potential.
If you are unaware of what needs you and/or others are trying to
fulfill, you might become frustrated because your needs appear to
be so different. Such is the case in the following scenario.
Bills
STAN:
[Pulling a chair up beside Maria, who is working on a large stack of
bills at the dining room table.] Maria, we need to talk about our
relationship.
MARIA:
[Continuing to work.] Stan, I've got a million things on my mind
right now. I have to get these bills paid or they'll turn off our
electricity.
STAN:
But, darling, we haven't sat and talked for over a month now. We
used to always have time for each other. What happened?
MARIA:
What happened is that we moved to a more expensive home, with
more expensive bills. Right now I'm concerned about keeping this
roof over our heads. Can the talk wait until some other time?
-6-
Maria is operating on the Existence level. She's fearful of losing
an essential part of her existenceher home! Though Stan is in
the same situation, that is not what is driving him at the moment.
His needs on the Relationship level are stronger at this time.
On another occasion, the roles may reverseStan may become
more concerned about survival, and Maria more about their
relationship. If you are aware of each other's needs, there is
greater possibility for you to avoid anger and frustration.
PRACTICE EXERCISE: Decide whether each statement is true
(T) or false (F).
1. The three basic levels of needs identified
by Maslow are the Existence, the
Relationship and the Fulfillment levels.
T
2. Once you have satisfied one level of need,
you never return to it.
F
3. The Existence level of need is concerned
with food, shelter, safety and security.
T
4. The Relationship level is only concerned
with family relationships.
F
5. At the Fulfillment level of need, we seek
to realize our potential.
T
-7-
?
?
?
?
?
BEHAVIORAL STYLES
So if we all are driven by essentially the same basic needs, why
do we behave so differently?
From early childhood, people exhibit and develop particular ways
of behaving to get their needs met. There is an ongoing argument
among psychologists as to what determines these
behaviorsnature, which refers to what you were born with, or
nurture, which refers to what you learned from your
surroundings. Brothers and sisters tend to have similarities. But
even in one family, two children may use quite different
behavioral tactics to get their way.
What we are sure of is that each person tends to have fairly
predictable ways of behaving. We call these personalities.
There are as many personalities as there are people, but they can
be usefully grouped into four behavioral styles:
The Boss is very results-oriented and wants fast
action.
The Socializer is interested in people and likes to
make others feel good about themselves.
-8-
unstable
The Stabilizer wants to be stable and to avoid
situations.
The Perfectionist wants to do things accurately and
expects others to do the same.
PRACTICE EXERCISE: Decide whether each statement is true
(T) or false (F).
1. The only factor that influences behaviors is
what people are born with.
?
2. All children from one family exhibit the
same behavioral styles.
F
?
3. People tend to have fairly predictable ways
of behaving.
?
4. People with a Boss style personality tend to
want quick results.
?
5. Socializers are loners.
F
?
6. Stabilizers like stability.
T
?
7. Perfectionists are careless in their work.
F
?
-9-
F
T
T
WHAT TYPE ARE YOU?
A person's behavioral style can be determined using a Behavioral
Chart and Profile.
In the example below, John has circled all of the behaviors on the
Behavioral Chart that describe the way he acts and feels most of
the time.
He has added up the circled behaviors in each block, and placed
the totals on the lines marked TOTAL CIRCLED. For instance,
John circled 11 behaviors in block 1 and wrote '11' on the TOTAL
CIRCLED line.
1
2
Direct
Driven
Impulsive
Enthusiastic
Impatient
Selective Listener
Influential
Confident
Results Oriented
Egocentric
Persuasive
Outgoing
Decisive
Self-Assured
Self-Promoting
Animated
Competitive
Quick
Charming
Motivator
Risk-Taker
Daring
Life of the Party
Restless Energy
Forceful
Aggressive
Optimistic
Interrupts A lot
Domineering
Independent
Friendly
Inspirational
Restless
Adventurous
Into "Now"
Crowd Mover
Assertive
Confident
Emotional
Trusting
TOTAL CIRCLED:
11
TOTAL CIRCLED:
15
Conscientious
Analytical
Steady
Supportive
Consistent
Doubter
Easy Going
Family Oriented
Tactful
Calculated
Sensitive
Loyal
Likes to Work Alone
Curious
Predictable
Constant
Thinker
Cautious
Modest
Team Player
Critical
Business-like
Dependable
Reserved
Logical
Systematic
Good Listener
Stabilizing
Detail- Oriented
Economical
Sincere
Protective
Precise
Restrained
Good Follow-thru
Patient
Factual
Diplomatic
Deliberate
Self-Controlled
4
TOTAL CIRCLED:
3
2
TOTAL CIRCLED:
-10-
4
1
2
3
4
20
20
20
20
19
19
19
19
18
18
18
18
17
17
17
17
16
16
16
16
15
15
X
15
15
14
14
14
14
13
13
13
13
12
12
12
12
11
X
11
11
11
10
10
10
10
9
9
9
9
8
8
8
8
7
7
7
7
6
6
6
6
5
5
5
5
4
4
4
X
4
3
3
3
3
2
2
2
X2
1
1
1
1
Boss
Socializer
-11-
Stabilizer
Perfectionist
Next, John marked the TOTAL CIRCLED number from each
block of the Behavioral Chart in the corresponding column of the
Behavioral Profile. Notice how John placed an 'X' over the 11 in
column 1 of the Behavioral Profile to match the 11 TOTAL
CIRCLED behaviors from block 1 of the Behavioral Chart. John
then drew lines to connect the X's to complete his Behavioral
Profile.
Observe the X's above and below the midline on John's Profile.
1) This Behavioral Profile shows that John's primary style is
the Socializer stylethis is his highest point above the
midline.
2) His secondary style is the Boss style, as he scored just
above the midline for that style as well.
3) John is low (far below the midline) in the Stabilizer and
Perfectionist styles of behavior.
-12-
PRACTICE EXERCISE: To determine which combination of the
four behavioral styles you are, circle all of the behaviors on the
Behavioral Chart that describe the way you are most of the time.
Then plot the TOTAL CIRCLED numbers from each block onto
the Behavioral Profile on the next page.
Behavioral Chart
1
2
Direct
Driven
Impulsive
Enthusiastic
Impatient
Selective Listener
Influential
Confident
Results Oriented
Egocentric
Persuasive
Outgoing
Decisive
Self-Assured
Self-Promoting
Animated
Competitive
Quick
Charming
Motivator
Risk-Taker
Daring
Life of the Party
Restless Energy
Forceful
Aggressive
Optimistic
Interrupts A lot
Domineering
Independent
Friendly
Inspirational
Restless
Adventurous
Into "Now"
Crowd Mover
Assertive
Confident
Emotional
Trusting
TOTAL CIRCLED:
TOTAL CIRCLED:
Conscientious
Analytical
Steady
Supportive
Consistent
Doubter
Easy Going
Family Oriented
Tactful
Calculated
Sensitive
Loyal
Likes to Work Alone
Curious
Predictable
Constant
Thinker
Cautious
Modest
Team Player
Critical
Business-like
Dependable
Reserved
Logical
Systematic
Good Listener
Stabilizing
Detail- Oriented
Economical
Sincere
Protective
Precise
Restrained
Good Follow-thru
Patient
Factual
Diplomatic
Deliberate
Self-Controlled
4
3
TOTAL CIRCLED:
TOTAL CIRCLED:
-13-
Behavioral Profile
1
2
3
4
20
20
20
20
19
19
19
19
18
18
18
18
17
17
17
17
16
16
16
16
15
15
15
15
14
14
14
14
13
13
13
13
12
12
12
12
11
11
11
11
10
10
10
10
9
9
9
9
8
8
8
8
7
7
7
7
6
6
6
6
5
5
5
5
4
4
4
4
3
3
3
3
2
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
Boss
Socializer
Stabilizer
-14-
Perfectionist
PRACTICE EXERCISE ANSWER: Looking at the Behavioral
Profile you just completed, you will notice that there is a
descriptive word below each column:
•
•
•
•
Boss;
Socializer;
Stabilizer; or
Perfectionist.
You are most likely high in some styles (above the mid-line), and
low in others (below the mid-line). The higher your number in a
column, the stronger your tendency will be towards this behavior.
1.
2.
3.
Note your highest style.
Note your second highest style.
Note your lowest style.
?
It is important to realize that:
THERE IS NO BEST STYLE! No style is
better or worse than another. Each style has
its strengths and weaknesses. Also, everyone
is a combination of all of the styles, to
varying degrees.
While you read the following style descriptions, keep in mind
your highest, second highest, and lowest styles. Also, you may
want to think of the personality types of friends, family, and coworkers.
-15-
THE BOSS
Bosses usually have most of these behaviors:
•
Bosses are results-oriented. They want quality and completion. They
demand the best from those people with whom they work. They do not
care for small talk and want to stick to business. They feel their time is
valuable.
•
They are confident, aggressive, forceful, outspoken and determined.
They love the spotlight. They define themselves by personal
accomplishments, and have a strong need for acknowledgement of their
achievements.
•
Bosses need to run things and to be in charge. They like being their own
boss, determining their own rules and making their own decisions. They
want to direct projects, people and results.
•
They are visionaries. They like to look at the big picture. Bosses are not
interested in the small details. They are problem solvers, enjoying
challenges for their own sake. Their ultimate goal is completion.
•
They are fierce competitors in their quest for goal attainment. Bosses
work well beyond a 40 hour work week when driven by their own task
priorities.
•
Bosses are go-gettersmovers and shakers. No job is too big.
•
Self-initiating, they like to work alone, and thrive on competitive pressures
and deadlines in the workplace.
-16-
•
Bosses are innovative, creative, and love change. They are pioneers of
new ways to accomplish ordinary tasks. They like to work quickly and
desire efficiency. They're self-starters, impatient and intense.
•
Bosses are selective listeners. They tune out whatever is irrelevant to
their objective. Small talk is deliberately tuned out. They don't like to
admit mistakes, or that they don't know something.
•
Bosses fear failure. They also fear being taken advantage of by others.
They thrive on stress when they are in control, but become restless,
uncooperative, and aggressive when they cannot act directly.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. The Boss behavior tends to be ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
decisive
easy-going
friendly
precise
A
?
2. Bosses have a strong motivation for ____.
A. doing things carefully
B. control and results
C. making people feel good about
themselves
D. stability
-17-
B
?
3. Which quality would you NOT find in
a boss?
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
confidence
vision
forcefulness
sensitivity
4. You would probably find a Boss ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
designing detailed charts
organizing the office party
managing a large project
working on a production team
5. The Boss' greatest fear is ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
D
change
criticism
failure
challenge
C
?
C
?
6. Of the following, who would most likely
score high in the Boss style?
A. Marilyn Monroethe beautiful movie
star who never found love
B. Ross Perotthe self-made billionaire
who ran for President
C. Arsenio Hallthe late-night talk show
host who enjoys talking to people
D. Mother Teresathe missionary who
spent her life helping the poor
-18-
B
?
IF YOU ARE A BOSS
Bosses should use the following strategies to make the most of their
personalities:
•
You need to learn that you are complemented by more stable, predictable
people who help you to bring about results.
•
Though you like working alone and resist team participation, you need to
recognize that you are an effective motivator. You need to contribute your
ideas and enthusiasm to the group.
•
You need to practice letting go at times, allowing others to control things,
and showing respect for others. This is needed to attain a sense of
balance and emotional stability.
•
You always feel rushed, but you really need to slow down and show more
patience and concentrate more on follow-up.
•
You could benefit by admitting mistakes and seeking feedback from
others. Ask others "What do YOU think? How do YOU feel?" This helps
build trust. Listen more. You do not need to know all the answers.
•
You often pay a high price for your zeal, sacrificing personal and social
relationships in pursuit of goals. You should become less rigid towards
people and situations. Say what you are thinking, but show respect to
others.
-19-
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Bosses are most productive if they have _____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
a lot of supervision, a low level of
challenge
a lot of supervision, a high level challenge
little supervision, a high level of challenge
little supervision, a low level of challenge
2. Bosses can increase their effectiveness by
____________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
C
?
B
taking on even more activities
learning how to work on a team
learning how to work alone
speaking out more
?
3. Bosses need to do all of the following
EXCEPT _______.
C
A.slow down
B.listen emphatically
C.take risks
D. seek feedback from others
4. To maintain their physical and mental health,
Bosses should _______.
A.set higher goals
B.tell people off more
C.hide their feelings
D.slow down and be more patient
-20-
?
D
?
DEALING WITH A BOSS
When you are dealing with Bosses, you should try the following strategies:
•
Let them contribute their ideas. Ideas equal control for them, and they
need to feel a sense of control to be motivated.
•
Recognize that their bark is worse than their bite. Let them blow off
steam, rant and rave; they will move quickly on to problem solving. Do
not take their anger personally. They only care about getting the job
done.
•
Bosses have a high need for direct, to-the-point answers. They need
immediate results and accountability. Do not try to hide things or to blame
others when working with Bosses.
•
Give them plenty of space, even if this means letting them make
mistakes. They will learn more from their own mistakes than from the
advice of others.
•
Showcase their talents and skills. Give them separate tasks and projects
which have measurable outcomes. Then let them take the bows.
•
They are the eagles. Don't expect them to fly in formation. Don't clip their
wings. Let them soar.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. When you are with a Boss, it helps to ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
set the ground rules
point out their mistakes
make small talk
get to the point
-21-
D
?
2. Remember that Bosses are motivated by
____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
quick results
steady work
a lot of detail
socializing
3. You should give Bosses work that is ____
A.
B.
C.
D.
predictable
long-term
group-oriented
challenging
give them plenty of space
let them take the lead
let them make mistakes
do all of the above
5. The best way to motivate Bosses is to
give them a sense of ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
D
?
4. To work best with Bosses ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
A
D
?
D
?
belonging
team work
optimism
control
-22-
THE SOCIALIZER
Socializers usually have most of these behaviors:
•
Socializers are extraverted, friendly, and interested in all types of people.
They pride themselves in their natural concern for people. They have the
ability to interact positively with different types of people.
•
Socializers are party people -- outgoing, gregarious, and sociable.
Socializers exhibit a casual style. They are great organizers and can
keep the group motivated.
•
Socializers are supportive of family, friends, and co-workers. They don't
like to be alone for extended periods of time. They like to make others
feel good.
•
Socializers talk a lot, often thinking out loud. They enjoy talking out
problems with others and working to reduce conflict.
•
Socializers are funloving, lighthearted, optimistic, and positive. They look
at problems as "challenges" or "opportunities." They turn to groups for
problem solving.
•
Socializers are emotional and expressive; they laugh and cry easily. They
are very sensitive by nature.
•
Socializers fear rejection.
others.
It is important for them to be accepted by
-23-
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Socializers tend to be ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
decisive
fault-finding
friendly
precise
?
2. Socializers have a strong motivation for
____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
doing things accurately
control and results
making people feel good
stability
3. Socializers are perceived by others as
being ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
C
C
?
B
?
pessimistic
enthusiastic
great at details
snobbish
-24-
4. You would probably find a Socializer ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
designing detailed charts
organizing a special event
managing a large project
managing the office support staff
5. The Socializer's greatest fear is ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
loss of acceptance
criticism
being taken advantage of
loss of stability
6. Who among the following is an example of
a Socializer?
A. Michael Jacksonthe singer idolized
by millions, but lives isolated from
society
B. Saddam Husseinwho led his country
into war and defeat
C. Malcolm Xthe stern activist who
fought for the rights and respect of
blacks
D. Bill Clintonthe President who puts
people first.
-25-
B
?
A
?
D
?
IF YOU ARE A SOCIALIZER
Socializers should use the following strategies to make the most of their
personalities:
•
Because you often base your actions on feelings and emotions, you need
to develop logical, prudent, reflective behaviors. Give more weight to the
facts and less to how you "feel" in making your decisions.
•
You should not be so impulsive.
situations.
•
Because you fear rejection by others, you need to accept that not
everyone will love you all the time. You must be true to your convictions
regardless of others' opinions.
•
Because you love to talk a lot, you may say the wrong things at times, the
right things at the wrong time, or the right thing to the wrong people. You
need to listen as well as talk. Think before you speak and do not always
wear your heart on your sleeve.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
You need to study and analyze
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Socializers could operate more effectively
if they ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
acted more impulsively
considered the facts more
learned to get along better with others
spoke their minds more
-26-
B
?
2. Socializers can enhance their people skills
by ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
talking more
learning how to work on a team
improving their listening skills
being more aggressive
3. Which piece of advice would be most
appropriate for the Socializer?
A.
B.
C.
D.
"Speak up. I can barely hear you."
"You need to get out more."
"Think before speaking."
"Express yourself."
4. To maintain mental health, Socializers
need to ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
know that it's OK to have fun
go to more parties
organize events
accept that you can't please all of
the people all of the time
-27-
C
?
C
?
D
?
DEALING WITH SOCIALIZERS
When dealing with Socializers, you should try the following strategies:
•
Allow time to talk things over with Socializers. Let them know how their
actions will fit into the "big picture." Ask for their opinions and assistance
in designing and accomplishing tasks.
•
Socializers don't like to be too serious. They thrive in positive, relaxed
environments. When appropriate, keep things upbeat and light.
•
Present them with a problem, and ask for their input for ways to solve it.
They are energetic and creative.
•
Socializers love the spotlight. So let them be in charge of people-projects
and special events. They are natural organizers.
•
People come first with Socializers. Talk about the people aspect to get
them interested in somethingthen focus on the task.
•
Because Socializers need constant encouragement, acknowledge their
successes when they fulfill goals.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. When you are with Socializers, it helps
to ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
give them time to talk things out
give them plenty of details
be formal
stick only to the facts
-28-
A
?
2. Remember that Socializers are motivated
by interaction with ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
details
facts
people
tasks
3. Socializers love work that is ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
predictable
long-term
group-oriented
factual
C
?
deadline-oriented
tense
relaxed
quiet
5. Provide Socializers the opportunity to
____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
C
?
4. A good environment for Socializers is one
that is ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
C
work with the details
contribute their ideas
work alone
rant and rave
-29-
B
?
THE STABILIZER
Stabilizes usually have most of these behaviors:
•
Stabilizers seek certainty and avoid change. They persevere, are not
quickly discouraged, and don't quit easily. They want and need calmness
in their personal and professional lives.
•
Stabilizers prefer long-term relationships at work and at home. They have
difficulty giving up people, activities, and objectseven when necessary.
They want to work with the same people in the same task roles. They
dislike personnel changes.
•
They like clear-cut rules and thrive on the tried and true. They want to
think a project through thoroughly before starting. Change must be
thought out and planned.
•
Stabilizers usually have lots of acquaintances, and a few very good
friends. Relationships tend to be long lasting. They have staying power
and a lot of personal strength. They are often the long-timers on a job.
They don't like to rock the boat. They are dependable.
•
Stabilizers are doers. They complete even the most repetitive tasks.
They are well organized and well prepared.
•
They are friendly, easy-going, amicable, low-keyed, and patient. They
attract many types of people, and can blend well with others. They like to
work on a team and will work continuously at improving team and group
efforts. They often form the core of social and work groups.
•
They're great at keeping people and events running smoothly and
consistently.
-30-
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Stabilizers tend to be ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
decisive
steady
fault-finding
moody
?
2. Stabilizers have a strong motivation for
_____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
taking risks
control and results
making people feel good
consistency
3. Stabilizers are seen as being ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
B
pessimistic
unpredictable
gloomy
persevering
D
?
D
?
-31-
4. You would probably find a Stabilizer ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
managing the office support team
designing detailed charts
socializing at the water cooler
working as a computer programmer
5. Stabilizers are not comfortable with ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
stability
hard work
group activities
change
A
?
D
?
6. Who of the following is most likely high
in the Stabilizer style?
A. Madonnathe pop singer who loved
to scandalize the public
B. General Pattonthe volatile WWII
tank commander who stormed across
Germany
C. George Bushthe President who
promised to keep America on course
D. Ice-Tthe controversial rap singer
-32-
C
?
IF YOU ARE A STABILIZER
Stabilizers should use the following strategies to make the most of their
personalities:
•
Because you are deliberate, you need to practice making quick decisions.
Realize that making a wrong decision is sometimes better than making no
decision.
•
Because you desire peace at all costs, you are at times reluctant to take
the firm stand that is sometimes needed to solve problems. You need to
learn to be more assertive.
•
You may be overlooked for promotion unless you learn to "toot your own
horn." You sometimes need to be the "squeaky wheel."
•
Because we live in a world of rapid change, you need to learn to be more
open to change. You must learn to cope with uncertainty. Let go of
always needing to know how things are going to end up.
•
You have difficulty with conflict, so you need to state your point of view
and to remember that you cannot please all of the people all of the time.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Stabilizers could improve their performance
if they ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
slowed down
learned how to listen
accepted change
worked better in a group
-33-
C
?
2. Stabilizers can increase their effectiveness
by ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
stating their points of view
coming to quicker decisions
tooting their own horns
doing all of the above
3. If you are a Stabilizer, which behavior
requires the LEAST work?
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
A
?
controlling yourself
taking risks
speaking your mind
making decisions
4. To maintain their mental health Stabilizers
need to ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
D
get along better with others
learn to accept change more readily
keep their feelings to themselves
slow down and develop patience
-34-
B
?
DEALING WITH STABILIZERS
When dealing with Stabilizers, you should try the following strategies:
•
Stabilizers require concrete tasks. They like to complete things in order,
not jumping from task to task.
Provide them with the complete
procedures needed to get the job done, and then the time to do it.
•
Be straightforward, organized, and orderly when presenting to Stabilizers.
Step-by-step outlines are appreciated. They want to know how things
work.
•
Stabilizers are not always fast starters. Give them time to step back, plan,
and try out different approaches. Trying to rush a Stabilizer is usually
counter-productive.
•
Minimize Stabilizers' risks. Try to provide them with certainty. Set clear
rules and measurable goals. Be positive, objective, and patient.
•
Give Stabilizers plenty of positive feedback. Recognize their patience,
follow-thru, and cooperation. They are not comfortable singing their own
praises, but wait to be discovered. They have a strong need to be quietly
appreciated. Give them the "strokes" they need.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. When you are with a Stabilizer, ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
get to the point
provide clear rules and procedures
don't take their ranting personally
laugh at their jokes
-35-
B
?
2. Motivate Stabilizers by ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
D
measurable goals
positive feedback
predictable conditions
all of the above
?
3. Assign Stabilizers work that is ____.
A
A.
B.
C.
D.
concrete
changing
fun
creative
?
4. Stabilizers like to complete tasks ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
quickly
in an orderly fashion
without supervision
haphazardly
5. Appreciate Stabilizers for ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
their patience
their follow-thru
their cooperation
all of the above
B
?
D
?
-36-
THE PERFECTIONIST
Perfectionists usually have most of these behaviors:
•
Perfectionists are cautious. They like to think before they act. They like
to test the waters before jumping in. They want a thorough plan of action
before beginning a project. They act on their own high standards. This
applies to their work, home, and apparel.
•
Perfectionists are reserved. They are very private and like to work alone.
They shun compliments as well as criticisms, especially public ones.
They may get excited, but rarely let it show. They are more apt to keep it
bottled up inside.
•
Perfectionists are excellent problem solvers. However, they need time to
dissect each part of the problem. They are intellectual, deep thinkers.
They are clever, quick, and are resourceful.
•
Perfectionists are detail oriented. They tend to ask a lot of questions as
part of the fact gathering process. They thoroughly analyze data and
want a lot of information on a subject. They base their decisions on proof,
not opinions.
•
Perfectionists need to be comfortable with their surroundings before
sharing what they are thinking. They do not like arguments or strong
emotions.
•
Perfectionists are often conservative in appearance and lifestyle, though
they will express their unique individuality in some other manner. They
are not gamblers or risk-takers.
-37-
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Perfectionists tend to be_____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
indecisive
enthusiastic
friendly
precise
?
2. Perfectionists are motivated towards _____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
D
doing things accurately
taking risks
making people feel good
change
3. Perfectionists are perceived by others as _____.
A. defiant
B. enthusiastic
C. great at details
D. fun loving
4. You would probably find a Perfectionist _____.
A. designing detailed charts
B. organizing the office party
C. managing a large project
D. working as a team leader
5. Which is most likely a Perfectionist?
A. a singer
B. a teacher
C. an accountant
D. a sales person
-38-
A
?
C
?
A
?
C
?
IF YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST
Perfectionists should use the following strategies to make the most of
their personalities:
•
You take yourself and the world too seriously. You should lighten up and
learn to laugh at yourself.
•
You must learn to cut back on preparation and get on with the job. Avoid
paralysis by over-analysis.
•
You need to learn how to speak up more. Your insights are invaluable
and should be communicated.
•
You must learn to take more risks and to accept occasional failures.
Accept your best effort even if it is not perfect.
•
Do not force your standards on others. You will often feel the need to
double- and triple-check your own and others' work. Trust them do some
of the checking. Most of all, accept that everyone is not perfect.
•
Because you often hold your feelings in check, you may feel stress.
Learn ways to handle this stress, such as exercise or meditation. Improve
communication and try discussing your problems with others. Laughter is
also a great cure for stress.
-39-
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. Perfectionists can improve their
performance if they ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
slow down
lighten up
pay more attention to details
finish what they start
2. Perfectionists can increase their
effectiveness by ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
taking more risks
speaking out
trusting others to help
doing all of the above
3. Which of the following behaviors do
Perfectionists LEAST need to improve?
A.
B.
C.
D.
being accurate
taking risks
laughing at themselves
trusting others
4. To maintain mental health, Perfectionists
need to ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
collect more information
loosen up and communicate more
keep their feelings to themselves
slow down and develop patience
-40-
B
?
D
?
A
?
B
?
DEALING WITH PERFECTIONISTS
If you are dealing with a Perfectionist you should try the following strategies:
•
Perfectionists need a long time to decide. Do not rush them. Help them get
the information they require to make decisions.
•
Because Perfectionists are reluctant to express themselves, particularly in
groups, try to talk one-one-one with them and be patient with their detailed
explanations.
•
Perfectionists want to be correct and precise. They take great pains to
ensure that the project they are working on is correct. Give them a lot of
preparation time and a detailed plan of action.
•
Appreciate Perfectionists' analytical skills and intense need for privacy. Let
them work alone, uninterrupted, in a clean, quiet environment. Give them
praise, but privately, not in public.
•
Give Perfectionists facts and statistics. When communicating with them,
speak slowly. Tone down and control your emotions. Give them plenty of
time to think and respond to ideas and tasks.
PRACTICE EXERCISE:
following questions.
Choose the correct answers to the
1. The best way to deal with Perfectionists is to
____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
be forceful
praise them in public
give them time to decide
laugh at their jokes
-41-
C
?
2. Remember that Perfectionists are motivated
by the need for ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
quick results
precision
change
social interaction
3. Give Perfectionists work that is ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
detail-oriented
constantly changing
fun
socially-inclined
loudly
boldly
in front of large crowds
privately
5. When you speak with a Perfectionist, try
to speak ____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
A
?
4. Perfectionists prefer to express themselves
____.
A.
B.
C.
D.
B
slowly
quickly
loudly
first
D
?
A
?
-42-
THE DIAMOND RULE
You might be aware of the 'Golden Rule' which states:
"Do unto others as you want done unto you."
This means you should treat others as you would like to be
treated.
***
But now here's another rule called the 'Diamond Rule':
"Do unto others as they want to be done unto!"
For example, you might be outgoing and like to say what's on
your mind, so you naturally think that everybody wants to be
treated that way.
WRONG! Others might be more reserved and like to think long
and hard before giving you their opinion.
If you know about behavioral styles and treat people according to
their preferred styles, you will find that your human relation skills
improve dramatically!
-43-
PRACTICE EXERCISE: You are in sales, and want to use your
understanding of behavioral styles to improve your salesmanship.
Observe the following characteristics for each potential customer.
Decide their styles and how to best deal with them.
1. CUSTOMER #1
... is enthusiastic, talkative, and curious.
She must be a _____________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
Boss
Socializer
Stabilizer
Perfectionist
2. CUSTOMER #2
... is precise, thorough, and restrained.
He must be a _____________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
D
?
Boss
Socializer
Stabilizer
Perfectionist
3. CUSTOMER #3
... is direct, forceful, and decisive.
She must be a _____________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
B
A
?
Boss
Socializer
Stabilizer
Perfectionist
-44-
4. CUSTOMER #4
C
... is patient, predictable, and cooperative.
He must be a _____________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
Boss
Socializer
Stabilizer
Perfectionist
?
5. Be casual but keep the conversation brisk.
Let this customer talk about feelings,
opinions, and needs concerning the product
or service. Give your opinions and views.
Use this approach with ________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
?
A
Customer #1
Customer #2
Customer #3
Customer #4
6. Be organized; have the facts. Be straightforward, yet low-keyed. Stick to business;
don't get personal. List advantages and
disadvantages of any suggestion you make.
Use this approach with ________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
Customer #1
Customer #2
Customer #3
Customer #4
-45-
?
B
SOCIAL AND WORK COMPATIBILITY
Getting along with people who are a lot like you may be easier
than trying to get along with opposites, but it's not always the
most productive type of relationship. And the people you get
along with socially may be poor work partners.
For example, two Socializers may have a great time together
socially, but get nothing done together in a work situation. Why?
They'll want to talk all day!
On the other hand, a Boss and Stabilizer may have little in
common socially, but be incredibly efficient in a working
situation. Can you think of why this might be so?
The following tables illustrate how people get along in work or
social settings. Their "compatibility" is measured using a 1 to 6
scale, from poor (1) to excellent (6).
-46-
For instance, the Social Compatibility table below suggests that
Perfectionists do not get along well with Bosses or Socializers.
However, they do socialize well with Stabilizers and other
Perfectionists.
SOCIAL COMPATIBILITY
STYLES
POOR
1
Boss - Boss
Boss - Socializer
Boss - Stabilizer
Boss - Perfectionist
Socializer - Socializer
Socializer - Stabilizer
Socializer - Perfectionist
Stabilizer - Stabilizer
Stabilizer - Perfectionist
Perfectionist - Perfectionist
GOOD
2
3
4
EXCELLENT
5
6
X----X
X--- X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
The Work Compatibility table shows that Perfectionists and
Socializers work fairly well together (even though they do not get
along well in social settings). Bosses and socializers are like oil
and waterthey do not mix at work.
WORK COMPATIBILITY
STYLES
POOR
1
Boss - Boss
Boss - Socializer
Boss - Stabilizer
Boss - Perfectionist
Socializer - Socializer
Socializer - Stabilizer
Socializer - Perfectionist
Stabilizer - Stabilizer
Stabilizer - Perfectionist
Perfectionist - Perfectionist
GOOD
2 3
X--- -X
4
EXCELLENT
5
6
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X---- X
X----X
Does this mean there is no hope for the incompatible? NO! It
simply means that incompatible styles may need to accept each
other's differences in order to get along better.
-47-
PRACTICE EXERCISE: Choose the correct answers to the
following questions about the social and work compatibility
between personality types.
1. The Boss and Perfectionist score "poor" on
social compatibility. A reason for this
might be because ___________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
the Boss is funny, the Perfectionist is
serious
the Boss likes to plan, the Perfectionist
is spontaneous
the Boss is assertive, the Perfectionist
is reserved
the Boss is forgetful, the Perfectionist
is reflective
2. The Boss and Perfectionist might get along
better socially if ______.
A.
B.
C.
D.
the Boss speaks louder, the
Perfectionist listens better
the Boss plans the event, the
Perfectionist goes along
the Boss is sarcastic, the Perfectionist
retaliates
the Boss relaxes, the Perfectionist
speaks out
-48-
C
?
D
?
3. The Socializer and Stabilizer score high
on social compatibility. A reason for
this might be because _______.
A.
B.
C.
D.
the Stabilizer and the Socializer share a
love of people
the Socializer likes to plan, the
Stabilizer is spontaneous
the Socializer is assertive, the Stabilizer
is aggressive
the Socializer is serious, the Stabilizer
is reflective
4. Socializers are "poor" working partners.
A reason for this might be because ______.
A.
B.
C.
D.
they are both pessimists; they'd
depress each other
they are both social; they'd talk all day
they are both workaholics; they'd burn
each other out
they are both shy; they'd never show
anybody what they produced
5. The Socializers might be more productive
partners in the work world if they _______.
A.
B.
C.
D.
were more aggressive
were friendlier to their co-workers
chatted less and organized more
were less negative
-49-
A
?
B
?
C
?
6. The Boss and Socializer score "poor" on
work compatibility. A reason for this
might be because ________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
the Boss is aggressive, the Socializer
is shy
they are both too detailed and precise
the Socializer is logical, the Boss
is emotional
the Socializer likes small talk, the
Boss thinks it's a waste of time
7. The Socializer and Boss might be more
compatible at work if they _______.
A.
B.
C.
D.
compromised by the Socializer talking
less and the Boss listening more
ignored each other and went their
separate ways
both learned to be more aggressive
added another Boss to their team
-50-
D
?
A
?
LESSON TEST
DIRECTIONS:
questions.
Choose the correct answers to the following
1. The three levels of needs are:
A.
B.
C.
D.
Existence, Happiness, Fulfillment
Survival, Relationship, Pleasure
Existence, Relationship, Fulfillment
Survival, Pleasure, Fulfillment
2. Which of the following is a reason to study behaviors?
A. Self-knowledge is closely linked with success.
B. Knowing yourself and others helps to improve your
personal relationships.
C. Understanding others' behaviors reduces chances of
causing friction.
D. All of the above are reasons to study behavior.
3. The four behavioral styles studied in this lesson are:
A.
B.
C.
D.
Boss, Socializer, Stabilizer, Humanitarian
Boss, Socializer, Stabilizer, Perfectionist
Boss, Socializer, Sympathizer, Perfectionist
Boss, Socializer, Sympathizer, Humanitarian
4. Which best describes the Boss's behavior?
A.
B.
C.
D.
steady
easy-going
forceful
friendly
-51-
5. Which best describes the Socializer's behavior?
A.
B.
C.
D.
decisive
outgoing
predictable
accurate
6. Stabilizers can benefit from being more _________.
A.
B.
C.
D.
sarcastic
assertive
attentive
conservative
7. What is the best way to deal with a Perfectionist?
A.
B.
C.
D.
speak quickly
tell them off-color jokes
give them facts and details
ask them a lot of personal questions
8. What is the "Diamond Rule" of relationships?
A.
B.
C.
D.
Do unto others whatever you feel like doing.
Do unto others as they want to do to you.
Do unto others as you want done unto you.
Do unto others as they want to be done unto.
-52-
9. Regarding the table, which of the following types are most
compatible socially?
STYLES
POOR
1
Boss - Boss
Boss - Socializer
Boss - Stabilizer
Boss - Perfectionist
Socializer - Socializer
Socializer - Stabilizer
Socializer - Perfectionist
Stabilizer - Stabilizer
Stabilizer - Perfectionist
Perfectionist - Perfectionist
A.
B.
C.
D.
GOOD
2
3
EXCELLENT
5
6
4
X----X
X--- X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
Socializer and Perfectionist
Boss and Perfectionist
Stabilizer and Perfectionist
Boss and Stabilizer
10. Regarding the table, which of the following types are most
compatible at work?
STYLES
POOR
1
Boss - Boss
Boss - Socializer
Boss - Stabilizer
Boss - Perfectionist
Socializer - Socializer
Socializer - Stabilizer
Socializer - Perfectionist
Stabilizer - Stabilizer
Stabilizer - Perfectionist
Perfectionist - Perfectionist
A.
B.
C.
D.
GOOD
2 3
X--- -X
4
EXCELLENT
5
6
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X----X
X---- X
X----X
Socializer and Socializer
Boss and Socializer
Boss and Perfectionist
Boss and Stabilizer
ANSWERS
ACTIVITIES
-53-
e-Course [2344] – People Skills
e-Unit [23441] – Self-Understanding
e-Lesson [234411] – Behaviors
e-Lesson [234412] – Feelings
e-Lesson [234413] – Thoughts
e-Lesson [234414] – Values
e-Unit [23442] – Understanding Others
e-Lesson [234421] – Understanding Children
e-Lesson [234422] – Understanding Adolescents
e-Lesson [234423] – Understanding Adults
e-Lesson [234424] – Understanding Elders
e-Unit [23443] – Family Understanding
e-Lesson [234431] – Family Life Cycles
e-Lesson [234432] – Marital Issues
e-Lesson [234433] – Money Issues
e-Lesson [234434] – Child-Raising Issues
e-Unit [23444] – Good Counsel
e-Lesson [234441] – Individual Counseling
e-Lesson [234442] – Group Counseling
e-Lesson [234443] – Family Counseling
Remediation and Training Institute
Robert Taggart, PhD - Copyright 2005