Journal of Somewhat-Serious Psychology
JSR – 2012 92: 1-6
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Satirical Article
Second Place is the New First Place:
An Evolutionary Perspective on Kickball Psychology
Glenn Geher, Rachael Carmen, Ari Freuman, Daniel Glass, Terry Grandis,
Amanda Guitar, Laura Johnsen, Rebecca Newmark, Melvin Philip, Grant Trouton,
Andrew Geher, Kathleen Geher, & Megan Geher
Evolutionary Psychology Lab, State University of New York at New Paltz, USA
Second Place is the New First Place
Abstract: While a lay perspective on victory favors “first place” as optimal, an
evolutionary perspective provides new insights into the adaptive benefits of coming
in at second place in many competitive contexts. The current research, based on
extensive data collected from the SUNY New Paltz Psychology Department
Kickball Tournament of 2012, provides strong evidence suggesting that coming in
second place, rather than first, corresponds to such positive life outcomes as
positive affect, strong socio-emotional responding, higher intelligence, a relatively
strong likelihood of mating success (and higher mating intelligence), and a
generally positive state of being. Implications for the adaptive benefits of second
place are discussed.
Keywords:
Evolution, Motivation, Kickball Determinism, Revenge, Social
Comparison
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Journal of Serious Psychology – ISMM 1234567 – Volume 92. 2012.
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Second Place is the New First Place
Introduction
While Darwin (1859) is credited primarily with articulating the theory of
natural selection, Wallace (1905) is known within some academic circles as the
scholar who concurrently developed the idea of natural selection but who was (and
still is) neglected by historians of science. In other words, Wallace essentially came
in second place in the competition to articulate to the world the processes that
underlie human existence. This probably explains why Darwinism is currently part
of our modern lexicon while Wallicism is not.
Most people think of “second place” as inferior to first place (see Carmen,
Freuman, & Glass, 2012). However, interestingly, from an evolutionary
perspective, second place may actually be highly adaptive in terms of long-term
survival and reproductive success (see Grandis, Guitar, & Johnsen, 2012). Based
on extensive research and thinking, in fact, it makes good evolutionary sense to
conceptualize second place as “fitter” than first place (see Newmark, Philip, and
Trouton, 2012).
To explain this phenomenon, Geher, Geher, Geher, and Geher (2012)
appeal to the basic processes of natural selection and other evolutionary
principles.
The current research sought to test the veridicality of the “second place is
fittest” theory within a naturalistic context by examining the psychological outcomes
of first versus second place in the world-renowned SUNY New Paltz Psychology
Kickball Tournament. While the Psychouts and Mean Squares did an excellent job
of competing in the consolation game, we decided to focus primarily on the
outcomes associated with coming in first place (the Strategic Strikers) or second
place (Team Pleistocene). Our focus on only first and second place results largely
from time constraints and our desire to use a convenience sample.
Hypotheses
Hypothesis 1: On average, the second place team will experience more positive
affect than the first place team.
Hypothesis 2: On average, the second place team will outperform the “champion”
team on measures of socio-emotional responding.
Hypothesis 3: On average, the second place team will score higher on the major
indices of intelligence than the first place team.
Hypothesis 4: Members of the second place team will generally score higher on
indices of mating intelligence than members of the first place team.
Hypothesis 5: Compared with individuals on the first-place team, members of the
second-place team are predicted to demonstrate a relatively positive state of
being.
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Second Place is the New First Place
Method
Particpants
Approximately 8 adults of various demographic backgrounds were included
on the first-place team. Exactly 8 adults and 2 children were included on the
second-place team. No more than 10 players were on the field at any given time.
Materials
A kickball (not the one chewed to oblivion by Indie) was used. A muddy
Little League field adjacent to campus was also needed to test the hypotheses.
Results
The results are clear. Each hypothesis was strongly supported by the data.
See Tables 1 for specifics.
Table 1: Means for First versus Second-Place Teams Compared in Terms of
Positive Affect, Socio-Emotional Functioning, General Intelligence, Mating
Intelligence, and “General State of Being”; Standard Deviations are in Parentheses
Positive Affect
Socio-Emotional
Functioning
General Intelligence
Mating Intelligence
“General State of Being”
*based on a fancy post hoc
p < .000000001
First-Place
2 (.2)
24 (4.00)
Second-Place Team
9 (.2)*
67 (3.44)*
105 (15)
9 (2.33)
1020 (190)
test, the means are different
198 (14.50)*
22 (1.19)*
1540 (200)*
at this level:
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Second Place is the New First Place
Discussion
Our hypotheses regarding the evolutionarily informed idea that second
place leads to better life outcomes than first place is clearly supported. The data in
this study come from an extraordinarily diverse, large, and representative sample
and they represent all significant behavioral domains. Thus, we can confidently
conclude that the findings are fully ecologically valid. Further, it is clear that this
research has excellent internal validity.
Not only do the current findings support the hypothesis that “second place is
the new first place,” but these data clearly show that evolutionary psychology is
awesome. Implications regarding all domains of human motivation (see Senko &
Harackiewicz, 2005) are obvious from this incredible research.
Further, it should be clear to the informed reader that Team Pleistocene will
win the tournament next time! (and congratulations to Corwin Senko and the
Strategic Strikers for their come-from-behind victory in the 2012 championship!).
And in case it’s not clear to the reader, this “article” is satire!
Journal of Serious Psychology – ISMM 1234567 – Volume 92. 2012.
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Second Place is the New First Place
References
Carmen, R., Freuman, A., & Glass, D. (2012). Evolutionary psychology is
awesome. Journal of Top-Tier Psychology Research, 3, 1-14.
Darwin, Charles (1859). On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection,
or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life (1st ed.).
London: John Murray.
Grandis, T, Guitar, A., & Johnsen, L.(2012). Why evolutionary psychology is the
only way to think about human behavior. Highly Selective Academic
Journal, 5, 33-44.
Newmark, R., Philip, M., & Trouton, G. (2012). Evolutionary psychology and you.
Modern and Ancestral Psychology, 7, 44-55.
Geher, A., Geher, G., Geher, K., & Geher, M. (2012). Why EvoS is awesome.
Great Psychology Research, 2, 77-88.
Senko, C., & Senko, C., & Harackiewicz, J. M. (2005). Achievement goals, task
performance, and interest: Why perceived goal difficulty matters. Personality
and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 1739-1753.
Wallace, Alfred Russel (1905). My life. Chapman and Hall, London.
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