Journal Entry #2 With interpersonal communication there come challenges. For example, when communicating one on one with some you discover some listening barriers. There are four main barriers that everyone experiences when communicating verbally. The most obvious barrier is distractions; they can either be physically or mentally. Physical examples would be music playing, the TV playing in the back ground, and hearing impairments. Mental examples would be things like worrying about upcoming homework assignments, or about what you’re going to wear to your date on Saturday. All of these things can be easily fixed, just as simple as turning down the volume of music or shutting off the TV. As for the mental barriers, just try and realize you can think about it another time. Bias also another type of barrier. Some people have a problem with being gender bias. This means that because of the sex you are, they can’t take what you’re saying either credible or they think you’re getting the message all distorted. Another type of bias is being close­minded. Were the person has no room for being persuaded in anyway at all. Whatever you say, there opinion will not change at all. People that have this kind of bias you can’t approach with normal conversation starts. For example, a good opening sentence would be, “I know this is contrary to what many people think, but lets look at this logically.” They are more likely to at least hear you out. The third barrier is lack of focus. When the speaker is talking about unimportant things the listener tends to lose focus on what the main idea is. Try and focus on the main idea or the big picture instead of the little details that don’t really matter. The final barrier is premature judgment. Assuming that you know what the speaker’s message is before they have finished talking. This comes with a lot of judgment if you do get the message they are trying to convey to you wrong. So it is very crucial to listen first, judge second. On a personal level of perspective, I know that I struggle very much with the lack of focus and premature judgment barriers. I’m a very OCD person so every detail counts. Typically at the beginning of stories people tend to start off with a shadow of where they were and how the conversation came up in the first place. This is usually were my lack of focus takes place. I get off subject on saying things like, “Oh that’s sounds like such a pretty place! What were you wearing?” Then an hour later, we have to revisit the beginning of the story because I got the speaker sidetracked on clothes and fashion because of my lack of focus. This at least happens to me a couple times a week. By reading this section in chapter 4, it has helped me be able to try and think about the big or main idea in the conversations I have. If I’m able to recognize beforehand that my friend is going to be going into a deep story, I can get myself mentally prepared to focus on the main idea, making it easier for both of us to communicate with each other efficiently. The most difficult barrier I undergo is defiantly premature judgment. My family has a really bad habit of doing this so that is probably where I have picked it up from. One specific example of me premature judging, is when my best friend told me that we needed to have a serious talk. A day before this her boyfriend had called me and been asking me questions about which guys she had been hanging out with at school. I assumed he had told her he talked with me, and I began to say “I promise I never told Justin (her boyfriend at the time) anything, I’m your best friend and I don’t want to get into the middle of your relationship so I’m sorry I never told you.” This was a premature judgment of the conversation because in reality she wanted to ask me how I was doing because my parents had just publically announced that they were getting a divorce. If I would have listened and then judged, the message and the end result would have been majorly different. So, now after enduring this experience I am more aware of me trying to listen and then speak. It is something that will come to my benefit if I learn how to do this.