THE BRIEF …
… ON APPEAL
Official Publication of KCLSA…the association for legal professionals – Kansas City, Missouri
Affiliated Chapter of: NALS…the association for legal professionals and NALS of Missouri
February 2014
Engage
Inspire
KCLSA – Celebrating 60 years!
PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE
by
Peggy Sullivan, PP, PLS
Volume 62, No. 10
Enhance
Promote
She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her
sails. Elizabeth Edwards
What a great quote. I have also heard it put another way – always have a Plan B.
Resiliency and adaptability are very important traits to have in both our professional and
personal lives. How many times during the day do our deadlines and priorities change –
they are constantly shifting. The same goes in personal lives.
Those who attended our Technology Seminar got some outstanding tips on topics ranging
from stress resiliency to Excel to Word to Outlook. Thanks to those who presented and
attended! It was great to meet one of our newer members – Carla Bowhay from Topeka.
Thanks to Rachel Grave for inviting us to hold our February meeting at her offices.
Looking forward to that. Also, we will be electing officers and directors for the next year
at this meeting. I know that Robin will appreciate your considering running for a position
or chairing a committee to help her next year. If you have not “thrown your hat in the
ring” yet, it’s not too late and you can be nominated from the floor.
Applications are still being accepted for the KCLSA scholarship. The winner of this
scholarship will be submitted as an applicant for the NALS of Missouri scholarship.
Please read through the rest of the Brief for information on our chapter activities. Hope to
see you at the February 12 meeting.
Peggy
1
What’s in this issue?
Code of Ethics & Mission Statement ...............................................................................................3
KCLSA’s February Membership Meeting Info ...............................................................................4
NALS Liaison Report ......................................................................................................................5
Upcoming Events, Reminders .........................................................................................................6
Birthday and Anniversaries..............................................................................................................7
The Legal Duty of Care in Tort Law, Foreseeability of Injury ....................................................10
NALS of Missouri Winter Membership Community Project Reminder .......................................12
2014-2015 Nominations & Elections Information ........................................................................13
Legal Knowledge Trivia ................................................................................................................20
Something to Make You Smile ......................................................................................................24
PUBLICATION INFORMATION
The Brief on Appeal is published by KCLSA. The materials in The Brief on Appeal are provided
for general information purposes only; they are not intended to, and do not constitute, legal
advice. For specific legal advice, readers are encouraged to consult with counsel of choice.
Permission to reproduce material appearing in The Brief on Appeal must be obtained from the
Editor. KCLSA assumes no responsibility for the opinions on points of view expressed by
contributors. KCLSA endorses no item or service other than those under the auspices of the
Association. Subscription rate for non-members is $10 per year. Annual dues for members
include a subscription to The Brief on Appeal.
Visit us on the web at www.kclsa.net
2
Elected Officers
2013 – 2014
President ................................. Peggy Sullivan, PP, PLS
psullivan@shb.com
(816) 559-2157
President Elect ................................... Robin Bish, PP, PLS
rbish@sls-law.com
(816) 931-0500
Vice President ................................. Laura Stevenson, PLS
lstevenson@vomer.com
(816) 421-0644
Secretary ...................................................... Cheryl Naylor
cnaylor@shb.com
(816) 474-6550
Treasurer.....................................................Linda Caldwell
lcaldwell@shb.com
(816) 474-6550
NALS Liaison ................................... Dee Champ, PP, PLS
deloreschampcla@hotmail.com
(816) 833-1800
Finance Director …………………...Sandy Sutton, PLS
ssutton@shb.com
(816) 474-6550
Education Director ……….Micki Warnecker, PP, PLS
mwarnecker@shb.com
(816) 474-6550
Service Director ................................... Megan Klosterman
mklosterman@gh-ks.com
(913) 317-5100
Marcia L. Gathright, Editor
c/o McDowell Rice Smith & Buchanan
605 West 47th Street, Suite 350
Kansas City, MO 64112
Code of Ethics
Members of NALS are bound by the objectives
of this association and the standards of conduct
required of the legal profession. Every member
shall:
Encourage respect for the law and the
administration of justice;
Observe
rules
governing
privileged
communications
and
confidential
information;
Promote and exemplify high standards of
loyalty, cooperation an courtesy;
Perform all duties of the profession with
integrity and competence; and
 Pursue a high order of professional
attainment.
Mission Statement
NALS is dedicated to enhancing the
competencies and contributions of members in
the legal service profession. It accomplishes
its mission and supports the public interest
through:
Continuing legal education and resource
materials;
Networking opportunities at the local,
state, regional and national levels;
Commitment to a Code of Ethics &
Professional Responsibility; and
marciag@mcdowellrice.com
816.753.5400
Professional certification programs and
designations.
3
Please Join
KCLSA
For our February
Membership Meeting
Date:
Time:
Place:
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Social 5:30 p.m.; Dinner 6:00 p.m.
McAnany, Van Cleave & Phillips, P.A.
10 E. Cambridge Circle Drive, Suite 300
Kansas City, KS 66103
Take elevator to third floor
Cost:
RSVP: Linda Caldwell
lcaldwell@shb.com
by Friday, February 7
DINNER
An Italian Buffet which includes:
House and Caesar Salad
Greek Orzo Insalata and Fresh Bruschetta
Seasonal Vegetali and Roasted Rosemary Potatoes
Penne Basilico and Chicken Spiedini
Raspberry Crostata and Tiramisu
Water and soda will be provided
You are welcome to bring your own adult beverages
Event Speaker
Paul Franco
Law Offices of Paul S. Franco
Traffic Law
Come and Enjoy!
4
$23
NALS LIAISON REPORT
by
Dee Champ, PP, PLS
It’s not too late to register for the NALS of Missouri Winter Membership Meeting. You
have already received the information for that, but if you need it, let me know.
NALS is offering an extension (until January 24th) on the early bird registration for
the Professional Development Conference in Tulsa scheduled for 2/27 - 3/2. Having
gone to this conference numerous times, I can attest to the importance of attending
and the valuable information and contacts you will gain while there.
Here’s the site to register: http://www.nals.org/?page_id=99
Do you want on-line training? Find out all about it here:
http://www.nals.org/?page_id=49
Of course, don’t overlook the regular training courses that KCLSA usually holds. There
are none currently scheduled, however.
Upcoming NALS webinars in January and February:
01/23/14
-
1 CLE
8:00 p.m. Don’t Forget Medicare, or Else!!!
(Free to Members!)
This webinar will discuss the Medicare lien process, including proven approaches and
resolution tactics for personal injury matters.
Antoinette B. VanSchaick, PP, PLS, SC; Estate Planning/Family Law (NY);
Litigation/Civil Law
01/30/14
-
1 CLE
8:00 p.m. – Topic TBD
02/06/14
-
1 CLE
2:00 p.m. NALS@Noon – Topic TBD
02/13/14
-
1 CLE
8:00 p.m. – Topic TBD
02/20/14
-
1 CLE
6:00 p.m. – Topic TBD
02/26/14
-
8:00 p.m. Time Management
(Free to Members!)
B. Jill Joiner and Bernadette J. H. Lawson; Next Generation Leadership
5
February 7-8 ...................................................... NALS of Missouri Winter Membership Meeting
February 12 ......................... KCLSA Membership Meeting @ McAnany, Van Cleave & Phillips
February 14 ........................................................................................................... Valentine’s Day
February 27-March 1 ..................... NALS Professional Development and Education Conference
Want to spruce up your home or yourself a little? Then check out the
Scentsy Family & Mary Kay products offered by Cheryl Naylor. Cheryl
donates 15% of all sales proceeds to KCLSA – Please feel free to contact
Cheryl at:
816.898.8058 or sjcaenterprises@yahoo.com
6
BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARIES
Laura J. Stevenson, PLS – Vice President
Below are birthdays and anniversaries for February. If you have a birthday during this
month and you don’t see your name listed, it’s because I do not have your information. If you
will email it to me, I’ll be sure and correct my list. Thanks!
February Birthdays!
Donna Young – 16th
Cheryl Naylor – 18th
Marcia Gathright – 21st
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Glennis Fuller
Jorja Hasbrouck
Vicky Helmig
Daffney Sharp
7
KCLSA Spices
Linda Hoffman, PLS
Sandy Sutton, PLS
Cheryl Naylor, PLS
Delores Champ, PP, PLS
Janice Rider
Peggy Sullivan, PP, PLS
Micki Warnecker, PP, PLS
Marcia L. Gathright
Diane Kennedy
Linda Caldwell
Joyce Bassett
To See Your Name Here, Donate $5 For Support of The Brief:
The members above have pledged their support to KCLSA by donating $5 to our treasury.
If you would like to show your support and have your name listed each month in the Brief
on Appeal, please contact the Editor, Marcia L. Gathright (marciag@mcdowellrice.com).
8
JOIN US
KCLSA is a multi-level association, affiliated with NALS, Region 6
and NALS of Missouri.
Our organization is open to anyone who is employed in work of a
legal nature. Dues are $153 (plus a $10 one time processing fee when
you initially join).
Benefits include monthly issues of The Brief on Appeal newsletter
from KCLSA, issues of The Briefcase from NALS of Missouri, and
@Law from NALS.
NALS members are eligible for discounts on a variety of goods and
services such as insurance, travel services and rental cars.
To receive membership information, contact KCLSA’s Vice President,
Laura J. Stevenson, PLS, lstevenson@vomer.com, 816-421-0644.
Learn more about our multi-level association by visiting us at
www.kclsa.net.
9
DUTY OF CARE IN TORTS LAW, LIABILITY,
FORESEEABILITY OF NEGLIGENCE, RECKLESSNESS, NUISANCE
Duty of care in Donaghue -v- Stevenson 1932 was defined as exercising such care
as is due in such 'acts or omissions which you can reasonably foresee would be
likely to injure persons so directly affected that you ought reasonably to have
them in contemplation' and Caparo Industries -v- Dickman 1990 referred also to
situations in which it would be fair, just, and reasonable to impose.
This duty is owed to one in physical proximity: e.g., in Haseldine -v - Daw 1941
to user of a lift negligently repaired, Buckland -v- Guilford Gas Light 1941 to
child electrocuted by low cables upon climbing a tree, but not to a mother for
shock nor for miscarriage to one who was to be who the driver and the rider could
not to have known that were around in King -v- Phillips 1953 and Bourhill -vYoung 1942; or to one in legal proximity: e.g., in Donaghue -v- Stevenson 1932
for illness of consumer from manufacturer's drink purchased by another, but not if
immune as public policy in Hill -v- Chief Constable 1988, or as barristers or
judges - Saif -v- Sydney Mitchell 1980; or to one with blood-ties: e.g., in
McLoughlin -v- O'Brien 1982 to a mother who by news of accident 'it was
obvious that would be affected' ~it can be owed for financial loss in special
professional relationships -Mutual Life Assurance -v- Evett 1971, for careless
words not made clear as being without responsibility -Hadley Byrne -v- Heller &
Partners 1964, and for serious nervous shock -Reilly -v- Merseyside RHA 1994.
The harm, additionally, if reasonably foreseeable is -Fardon -v- Harcourt 1932,
negligence may entitle to damages, even punitive, Rookes -v- Bernard 1964,
although if contemptuously claimed to as little as the smallest coin of the realm,
e.g., without costs and nominal in Constantine -v- Imperial London Hotels 1944.
Circumstances in which a duty of care can be breached, except in the case of
specific torts such as libel or trespass -or under the Rylands -v- Fletcher rule
where lawfully but at one's own peril is made any unnatural use of land and
excluding cases of immunity and circumstances where a statutory duty properly
exercised infringes a right -such as the disturbance caused by the noise of aircraft
taking of or landing - but not if improperly exercised: Fisher -v- RuislipNorthwood UDC 1945, such circumstances may be even when a risk is know and
not objected to: Smith -v- Charles Baker & Son 1891, indeed where a risk is
known and has been consented to: Bowater -v- Rowley Regis Corp. 1944 ~even if
there is contributory negligence: Stapley -v- Gypsum Mines Ltd 1953 -indeed
even if despite instructions.
The standard is that of the 'reasonable man'; if injury was risked: Bolton -v- Stone
1951 ~6 times in 30 years meant not and the degree of the risk is proportional to
the degree of care required; the seriousness of the injury risked too is proportional
the degree of care necessary: Paris -v- Stepney BC 1951 -more so to employee
blind in one eye, and not the amount but the type of the injury on the basis of:
British Railways Board. -v- Herrington 1972; a social value whether justified the
risk: in Fisher failure was not justified in war-time black-out to put up shaded
lights to avoid public nuisance to a cyclist, in Watt -v- Hertfordshire CC 1954
10
getting the wrong vehicle on the scene of accident was justified by the valuable
time that would have been lost in getting there help; the cost-benefit
consideration: in Latimer -v- AEC 1953 to have done more than reasonable would
have made the risk too remote in comparison -except if there is a statutory duty
such as under the Health & Safety Acts; that standard in the case of an expert's
negligence is, instead -Latimer, of a 'reasonable expert'.
The link between the breach of duty and the resultant damage must be shown to
exist as a matter of fact or a matter of law. The former is subject to the 'but for'
rule: in Barnett -v- Chelsea etc. Hospital etc. 1968 breach by the failure of the
doctor to call was not the cause of death, McWilliams -v- Sir Arrol 1962 failed
because the safety-belt would not have been worn if supplied, in Cutler -vVauxhall motors 1971 the operation on a graze had already been ordered for an
ulcer on the site of it and was a pre-existing condition; but, is not broken a
causative link by a consecutive cause and did not lessen a subsequent injury the
original factors in Baker -v- Willoughby 1970, nor necessarily disentitle multiple
causes when on a balance of probabilities the link considerably was the reason:
McGhee -v- National Coal Board 1973; where the harm or part of it is from a
third party's breach the 'but for' rule still applies to whether he type of injury could
have been seen: Hogan -v- Betinck Colliers 1949.
The latter only applies if the breach is not too remote, and it was not in Wieland v- Cyril Lord Carpets 1969 that the fall elsewhere and later had resulted from the
necessity to discard bi-focal glasses caused by the driver's negligence; the special
sensitivity of the claimant did not matter -'egg-shell skull' rule: Robinson -v- Post
Office 1974 -'one must take the victim as he finds him'; in The Wagonmound
1961 at the time of the breach that oil spilled could burn on sea-water could not
reasonably, and in Doughty -v- Turner Mfg. 1964 because of the state of
knowledge, have been foreseen; but in Bradford -v- Robinson Rentals 1967 the
frostbite was because of providing a van without a heater.
The claimant's proof can move to the defendant: Steer -v- Durable Rubber 1956;
at least some evidence is necessary of negligence even if 'facts speak for
themselves' -they cannot if the claimant cannot say what happened: Wakelin -vLSWR 1886, negligence can be inferred from absence of explanation by
defendant, for any by claimant by Law Reform (Contributory Negligence) Act
1945 proportionate reduction is made.
Laws are subject to change, always ascertain current law.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR -- Contact Author
Eren -- The author's favorite site is: Teacher of Teachers
Found at: www.articlesbase.com/law-articles
11
REMINDER
For those going to the NALS of Missouri Winter Membership
Meeting February 7-8
Community Project Items Requested
ITEMS FOR PREGNANCY ASSISTANCE CENTER
Newborn sleepers with feet
Medium sleepers with feet
Layette gowns (have elastic bottom)
Diapers – sizes 4, 5 and 6
Shampoo
Baby Lotion
Baby Powder
Baby Wipes
Travel Baby Wipes
Infant Tylenol (generic brand)
Sippy cups
Dreft Detergent (hypo-allergenic)
Cotton Balls
Q-Tips
4 oz Baby Bottles
8 oz Baby Bottles
Bottle Brushes
Cash Donations
12
NOMINATIONS & ELECTIONS
Michelle Haughey, PP, PLS
NOTICE OF ANNUAL MEETING
The Annual Meeting of the Kansas City Legal Secretaries Association will be held
on Wednesday, February 12, 2014, at the law offices of McAnany Van Cleave &
Phillips, 10 East Cambridge Circle Drive, Suite 300, Kansas City, Kansas.
Following dinner, election of officers will commence.
Pursuant to Article VII of the Bylaws of the Kansas City Legal Secretaries
Association, below is the list of all nominees for each offices prepared by the
Nominations and Elections Chair, Michelle Haughey.
President-elect
Laura Stevenson, PLS
Vice President
Cheryl Naylor, PLS
Secretary
Linda Caldwell
Treasurer
Peggy Sullivan, PP, PLS
NALS Liaison
OPEN
Director:
Legal Education
OPEN
Director: Finance
Sandy Sutton
Director: Service
Megan Klosterman
Nominations will be accepted from the floor for all offices listed above.
All members are encouraged to get involved either by running for an office or
serving on a committee such as Legal Education, Bosses’ Appreciation Night,
Marketing, Membership and many more.
The following pages describe the duties of the officers, directors and chairs.
So say “yes” to serve your association.
13
DUTIES OF ELECTED OFFICERS, DIRECTORS & CHAIRS
2014 – 2015
POSITION
President-elect
Vice President
Secretary
Treasurer
NALS Liaison
Finance Director
DUTIES and RESPONSIBILITIES
• Must have served on the Board of Directors two (2) years prior
this election;
• Shall assume all duties of President in absence of President;
• Shall chair the Disciplinary Committee;
• Shall conduct the Outstanding New Member contest
• Shall be in charge of membership retention;
• Shall write monthly reports/articles for the Brief on Appeal;
• Shall works to enhance the development of the relationship
between KCLSA and the bar associations.
• Must have served on the Board of Directors one (1) year prior
to this election;
• Shall assume all duties of the President in the absence of the
President and President-elect;
• Primary responsibility for new and prospective member contact
and maintains follow-up with new or prospective members;
• Prepares prospective new member packets;
• Prepares new member packets;
• Greets all guests at meetings;
• Conducts a membership driving at the May monthly meeting;
• Prepares monthly reports for the Brief on Appeal.
• Shall keep minutes of the meetings of the membership and
Board of Directors, and serve as custodian of all records of the
Chapter;
• Shall send monthly notices of the Board of Director’s meetings;
• Read all appropriate correspondence to the membership.
• Must have served on the Board of Directors one (1) year prior
to this election;
• Shall keep an itemized book or computerized account of all
monies received and disbursed, and shall make monthly reports
at each business meeting;
• Shall notify the President-elect and Vice President of name and
other pertinent information of each dues-paying member.
• Shall be the liaison between KCLSA, NALS of Missouri,
Region 6 and NALS;
• Shall make report at each state meeting of the chapter’s
activities;
• Shall furnish facts about upcoming state and national meetings
in The Brief on Appeal;
• Shall submit the Chapter’s entry in the state Chapter
Achievement Contest.
• Shall be responsible for meeting the financial requirements as
outlined in the Chapter’s budget;
• Shall submit recommendations for fundraisers, and implement
14
•
Legal Education
Director
•
•
•
•
•
Service Director
•
•
Bosses’ Appreciation
Night
Editor, Brief on
Appeal
Certification
Financial
Review/Budget
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Marketing/PR
Member Notification
•
•
NALS Legal Training
Course
•
•
Nominations &
Election
•
•
•
Program
•
•
•
•
those that are approved;
Shall keep a record of all products and monies provided and
received from members;
Provide a finance project for each state meeting.
Shall furnish an educational article for each issue of The Brief
on Appeal;
Plans at least two seminars for the year;
Shall assists the Legal Training Course Chair;
Shall correspond with the State’s Educational Functional
Director.
Shall handle correspondence to, money collections for, and gift
purchases for members for events of a personal matter;
Shall be responsible for handling charitable and welfare
projects.
Shall secure a location, menu, and makes arrangements for table
centerpieces and favors;
Presents a budget to the Board of Directors in July;
Secures donations and support of the event.
Prepares the monthly newsletter by assembling reports from
officers and community chairs.
Coordinate study groups and encourages members who are
interested in taking certification exams;
Keeps records of members holding certification.
Shall review the Treasurer’s records and make
recommendations to the Board of Directors at the April
meeting;
Shall submit a budget for the coming year to the Board of
Directors at the April meeting.
Shall send out press releases of the Chapter’s upcoming events.
Shall send out broadcast emails to members notifying them of
upcoming events, subject to board approval.
Shall plan the course and present a budget to the Board of
Directors;
Shall send reports of the Chapter’s activities to the State’s
Educational Functional Director.
Shall prepare a brief description of the duties of the officer,
directors and chair positions for inclusion in the November and
December issues of The Brief on Appeal;
Obtains consent of all nominees and provides descriptions of
the duties of each office;
Conducts elections at the February Annual meeting and any
special elections.
Works with a restaurant or facility on the menu, price and
details where meeting is held;
Obtains speakers of a legal nature at monthly membership
meetings;
Provides CLE certificates;
Takes reservations and collects all monies for the meetings.
15
Scholarship
•
•
•
Website
•
Shall contact area schools, community colleges and vo-tech
schools with legal programs and provide with application and
rules;
Shall select qualified judge/s and obtain approval by the Board
of Directors;
Shall submit the winner of the Chapter’s scholarship award to
the State’s Scholarship Contest.
Shall maintain the Chapter’s website with a paid professional by
updating the calendar, education, bulletin and photo gallery
sections.
16
17
CELEBRATING OUR SPECIAL MEMBERS
KCLSA HONORARY
MEMBERS
John M. Bowen
The Honorable Thomas C. Clark
Dwight Elliott
Brianne Hampton
Cherie Leiker
Mary Ann McClure
Mike Murphy
The Honorable Thomas Sims
Patrick Young
NALS LIFE MEMBERS
KCLSA LIFE MEMBERS
Delores Champ, PP, PLS
Linda Hoffman, PLS
Martha Miller, PLS
Ruth French
Miriam Gemperle
Rita Hollowell
Michelle Haughey, PP, PLS
Linda Hoffman, PLS
Diane Kennedy, PP, PLS
Marian Neal
Barbara Nelson
Judy O’Hara
Janice Rider
Carrie Tyner, PLS
Peggy Sullivan, PP, PLS
18
19
SILLY LAWS
created by skunkee
www.funtrivia.com
1.
T or F
In the state of Kentucky, it is legal to throw eggs at a
public speaker if you don’t like what’s being said.
2.
T or F
If you live in Shawnee, Oklahoma, you’d better have a
chat with your dog about where he or she hangs out with
his or her friends.
3.
T or F
In California, sleeping in the kitchen is considered a
crime.
4.
T or F
If you live in Kentucky, you never have to be bother with
taking a bath.
5.
T or F
In Montana, it is a felony offense for a husband to open a
telegram that has been sent to his wife.
6.
T or F
If you tie your elephant up to a parking meter in Orlando,
Florida, you don’t need to put any money in the meter.
7.
T or F
In Jefferson City, Missouri, it’s illegal to anchor your boat
to the train tracks.
8.
T or F
It is illegal to gargle in the state of Louisiana.
9.
T or F
In Hartford, Connecticut, you can receive a five-dollar
fine if you transport a dead body in a taxi.
10.
T or F
If you’re hard up for money when visiting Delaware,
you’d better not pawn your wooden leg.
Answers on Page 23
20
Dear KCLSA Members and Friends:
It is with excitement and pleasure that I inform you of my new home
business. Aside from my full-time career as a legal assistant at Shaffer
Lombardo Shurin, I have started an exciting home business with Premier
Designs. Since becoming a jeweler with Premier Designs, I have met some
great people, have learned how to present a fantastic show, and have learned
some great jewelry techniques that I would love to share with you and your
friends. Premier Designs’ jewelry is reasonably priced and has an easy
lifetime replacement warranty.
Premier Designs’ Hostess Plan is by far the best plan I have come across.
Hostesses receive 30% of their total party sales in free jewelry (ex. $400
show, Hostess receives $120 free) and can receive up to 8 pieces of jewelry
for 50% off. Hostesses also have the opportunity to receive 4 bonuses
equally another $100 in free jewelry! By hosting a “fashion show,” as I like
to call them, you will enjoy a fun and relaxing evening with friends as I
share creative ideas to accessorize with jewelry, provide updated fashion
tips and explain multiple ways to wear Premier Designs’ jewelry.
In addition to our fantastic hostess plan, each month Premier Designs has
different specials that benefit either the hostess and/or the guests. (Please
contact me to find out what this month’s special is.) I am personally running
a special for KCLSA members that if you book a show and reference this ad
from the KCLSA Brief, I will give you an additional $25 in free jewelry at
your home show!
I look forward to planning your fashion show! Please feel free to call, email
or come up to me at the next KCLSA meeting. Thanks!
Jaime M. Munoz
Premier Designs’ Jeweler
816-804-1019
sparklewithjaime@yahoo.com
21
22
Silly Laws – Answers
1.
F
It is decidedly against the law, although there doesn’t seem to be a
problem with throwing them at private speakers. However, if
you’re in Princeton, Texas, you’d better not throw an onion at
anyone.
2.
T
In this city, it is against the law for three or more dogs to
congregate on private property without the permission of the
owner of that property.
3.
T
However, conversely, it is okay to cook in the bedroom.
4.
F
Not so, oh pungent one! Kentucky residents are required, by law,
to have at least one bath a year. I wonder if showers count.
5.
F
No, this is perfectly acceptable; however it is a felony if a wife
opens her husband’s telegram. Similarly, in Michigan a woman is
breaking the law if she cuts her hair without first getting her
husband’s permission.
6.
F
You must feed the meter exactly the same as you would for a car,
so be sure to have some change in the…ashtray?
7.
T
The logic of this law is so obvious that one really has to wonder
what event caused it to be passed into law!
8.
F
No, go ahead and gargle all you like, but don’t do it in public,
because that is illegal.
9.
T
Of course if you tip the cabby ten dollars, he might pretend he
doesn’t see, and not turn you in!
10.
T
You’d better find some other appendage to hawk, because it is
definitely illegal to pawn your wooden leg.
Some of these laws are so silly, you just have to laugh. For example, did you know that in
Columbus, Montana the law requires you to tip your hat while passing the Mayor on the street?
(Hmm, the guy who put that law in place couldn’t have been very popular!)
23
Guess Who?
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man
standing at the counter systematically pasting “Love” stamps on bright pink
envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and
starts spraying scent all over them. The guy’s curiosity gets the better of him
and he walks up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, “I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess
who?’”
“But why?” asks the guy.
The man replies, “I'm a divorce lawyer.”
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