praise for this practical guide
There are times when I am faced with a problem,
that seems impossible to resolve. Touch the Sky has 121 practical,
inspiring ways forward.
Graham Wilson, Founder Mind Body Spirit Festival
Worth reading! More than 100 ways to achieve a life of health,
happiness and success... including powerful ideas on how
to get some control back into your days and create more time
for yourself.
Woman’s Day Magazine
Patrick William Moore is a thought leader.
Anita Roddick, Founder of the Body Shop Empire
Inspiring! This book covers everything from relationships
to creating your future.
Pacific Magazines
Extraordinary...a great gift!
ABC National
Patrick William Moore is a warrior-poet. He combines traditional
and new ideas on happiness and success and condenses them
into easy to consume one page nuggets.
City Weekly
this book is dedicated to…
you
touch the sky
O P EN THE H EA RT
Q
S T REN G T H EN T H E S O U L
P A T R I C K
W I L L I A M
Q
B A L A N C E T H E BO D Y
M O O R E
At some time in your life you’ve probably been told to use
Clearly we need more ways to strengthen our relationships,
improve our health and achieve our goals. When we
discover the right way the willpower comes naturally, and
things just fall into place. That’s because waypower creates
willpower. Where there’s a way, there’s a will.
Messages about willpower and motivation sound great at
first, but too often they miss the point. At the end of the day
people still need to know what to do. While the motivators
are hyping everyone up to achieve more most people are left
wondering how.
The simple ways in this book are practical, powerful ideas
for a happier, more balanced life. Open any page and there
might be the idea, plan or thought that clicks with you, and
helps you create a better future.
more willpower. Perhaps it was a sports trainer, boss, parent
or motivational speaker who told you to put in more effort or
lift your game. ‘To be more successful,’ they might have said,
‘you must try harder – so use more willpower!’
Without knowing some effective ways to be healthier,
happier or more successful it’s difficult to make progress,
no matter how strong your will is.
This might be why more people than ever are overstressed,
overweight or ‘over’ their relationships. Perhaps they have
been relying too much on their willpower and not enough
on their waypower.
Using willpower alone to improve your life is like trying to
get past a brick wall by hitting your head harder and harder
against it – you don’t get far. By using waypower you’ll find
a way around it. It makes sense.
However, perhaps the greatest gift this book can give lies
beyond its pages. By using the power of our imaginations
we begin to realise that simple, effective ways to reach our
goals and dreams can always be found. Life-changing
inspiration isn’t just found in books – it’s all around us.
You see, ideas are a lot like stars. From the city it may not
look like there are many, but under the night sky you
remember there are trillions of them – and most aren’t
even discovered yet.
So whether you want to improve your health, relationships
or worklife, stay open to the miracle of a wonderful new
idea. Because just when you least expect it you’ll surely
catch a glimpse of one shooting by. Hitch yourself to it,
and your life too, will touch the sky.
Life can be either abundant or scarce, depending
on how you think. Believe in abundance and create
a happy, fulfilling life.
believe in
abundance
Many people believe life is like a clearance sale – that
once all the stock has been sold, there’s no more left.
They fight to grab everything they can because they
fear life’s gifts will soon run out.
Because they think this way they tend to live scarce,
unhappy lives. If only they believed in abundance,
they would begin to attract the world’s unlimited
health, wealth and happiness.
The world contains endless opportunity and riches.
Believe there is enough for everyone, and there will
always be enough for you.
Life’s warehouse never runs out.
1
Do you love the feeling of summer rain on your skin?
Or are you more worried about getting wet?
dance
in the rain
We can choose. Is the wind annoying or exhilarating?
Is the sun making you squint, or is it a beautiful day?
Is your cup half empty or half full?
Opt for optimism. Optimistic people are usually
happier, less stressed and more successful. Optimism
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At first it may be difficult, because most people are
experts at seeing the negative. But you can break this
gloomy habit and learn to see the brighter side of life.
Whenever unreasonable negative thoughts enter your
mind, try to turn them around and see the positive side.
Every time you see the good in your life or your future
you become that little bit happier.
3
Life’s tragedy is not what we suffer, said the poet Carlyle,
see the
sun rise
but what we miss.
Imagine a lifetime without ever seeing a sunrise. To miss a
sunrise is to miss the magnificence of the universe in motion.
When the sun begins its fiery ascent you can almost feel the
movement of the earth. Words cannot describe the miracle
of that brief moment.
Don’t let another month go by without seeing one.
To see a sunrise is to truly live.
5
Aikido is an ancient martial art which draws its grace
and power from breath.
It was said that Aikido’s founder could knock an
opponent to the ground using nothing but breath power.
breathe
Of all our basic needs air is the most important, yet it is
given the least attention. However, the more effectively
we breathe the more effectively we live.
A little breath power in your daily life can go a long way
to making you calmer and more energised.
Rapid, shallow breathing is draining. Yet this is how
most people breathe, particularly in times of stress.
Proper breathing helps you to relax, concentrate and
feel calmer.
The key to effective breathing is to be conscious of your
breath, keeping it slow and even. With practice you’ll do
this easily and effortlessly.
When we control our breathing we can gain a new
sense of control in our lives. We live how we breathe.
7
All the answers to success and happiness lie within us.
Or do they?
look outside
yourself
Self-help books, gurus and therapists often tell people
the only way to reach their goals and dreams is to search
deeper and deeper inside themselves.
But what if they’re looking in the wrong place? Too much
introspection can create problems rather than solutions.
When we are too absorbed in ourselves we forget to notice
our surroundings. But that’s precisely where life-changing
ideas and inspiration can be found.
The keys to happiness are not always inside us – often
they’re outside. Ways to improve relationships, health
and finances are all around us.
Look outside. Opening your senses to the world can
open up a whole new life.
9
Next time you’re faced with a problem or want to improve
an aspect of your life, fill a page with idea bubbles.
You might want to change your diet, meet new people or
make more money. Perhaps you’re stuck for a birthday
present idea, or have to entertain some kids on the weekend.
draw idea
bubbles
Whatever it is, take a blank sheet of paper and draw as many
little circles as will fit – perhaps 15 or 20. Write a possible
solution to your problem in each bubble.
Don’t worry if some seem silly or unworkable. Just think
freely, until you’ve filled a page with bubbles of possibilities.
Inspiration can come from anywhere – so ask friends, browse
magazines or just sit quietly.
Great ideas and solutions are floating all around us, looking
for a good place to land. By sitting down and focusing in this
way the ideas will come to you.
You might fill several pages of idea bubbles before you find a
solution, or you might discover one straight away. Be patient,
enjoy the creative process and you’ll attract great ideas onto
your page and into your life.
11
Intuition is our built-in radar.
believe
what you feel
Unfortunately many people switch it off because they’re
taught that it’s better to think and act logically than intuitively.
But ignoring our intuition can be a mistake. A woman once
had an anxious feeling as she walked down a busy street.
Her inner voice was urging her not to.
But she ignored her intuition. After all, it was broad daylight.
However, she was chased by a man who tried to harm her.
If something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. And if it
does feel right, then it probably is. Facts never tell the whole
story, but your inner feeling knows what’s really going on.
When your feelings whisper, listen. There’s something they
want you to know.
13
understand
the law of
momentum
If you wanted to roll a boulder down a hill, most
of the effort would be needed just to get it going.
The same goes for beginning anything new. Most of
the energy is needed just getting started. It’s the law
of momentum.
Whether it’s exercise, diet, study or any new project,
the start is usually the hardest part. So give that first
push plenty of focus, discipline and mental energy.
Once you’re on a roll, there’ll be no stopping you.
15
Mindfulness is a Zen concept which means giving
whatever you’re doing your full attention.
Many people go through life in a daze. Always
thinking about something else, somewhere else,
sometime else. They forget to live the moment.
be mindful
But this moment is all we really have. Neglect it and
we neglect life itself.
Mindfulness takes practice. Next time you eat, savour
each and every bite, taste the different flavours and
feel the texture of the food in your mouth.
Whether you’re eating, driving or washing dishes,
ask yourself ‘Am I really concentrating? Am I being
mindful, or mindless?’
Becoming one with the moment can be life changing.
Mindfulness is a moving meditation which brings an
inner peace to your life.
17
You see it often. Someone crossing the road, eating a
sandwich with one hand, making a call on their portable
phone with the other... while dodging traffic.
one at a time
People think they can get more done by doing many
things at once. But can they?
Doing too many things at a time weakens our
concentration and is ultimately less productive.
Tasks often take twice as long, get done half as well
and can even become dangerous. Our pedestrian friend
is an accident waiting to happen.
The best way to do all the things you have to, is to do
them one at a time.
19
Do you ever have so much to do you feel like going to bed?
At times life can be so overwhelming we just want to stop.
delegate
If you can’t get everything done it may simply mean you’ve
got too much to do. So delegate!
Companies get extra help when there’s too much work to
do. So should we.
Let someone else do it for once. If they offer, accept. If they
don’t offer, ask them. Or hire someone. An occasional babysitter, cleaner, gardener or helper can be a gift from heaven.
21
You need two sorts of goals to help you succeed: result goals
and activity goals.
A result goal is the overall outcome you want, like speaking
a foreign language. An activity goal is what you have to do
to get there, like one hour’s practice a day.
set activity
goals
If you want to lose weight, a twenty minute walk each
morning might be your activity goal. You might aim to
read a book in a month, but unless you set an activity
goal of ten pages a day it could stay unread.
Activity goals are often more meaningful than result goals.
Because they’re easily measurable, you will know when
you’re on track.
Check your past week and if you didn’t take a walk, read
some pages or do your hour’s practice, it’s not hard to
imagine why you may not reach your result goal.
Reinforce your dreams with activity goals and you’ll
reach them sooner.
23
If there’s something you want to achieve, get someone
get someone
on your back
on your back about it.
Whether you want to find a better job, renovate, reach a
savings target or improve your fitness and health, letting
another person know about your goal can help you attain it.
Ask a person you respect, preferably one who has had some
success in the same area, to check up on your progress.
For instance, arrange a phone call or meeting once a week
so they can ask how you are coming along with your
project or goal.
It’s hard to cheat when someone’s watching.
25
Life is about discovery and change.
make it
different
New things can lift you out of a rut and stop you getting
into one in the first place.
Try something new at least once a week. The smallest changes
in your day keep you charged up and in love with life.
Taste another culture’s food, play new music, try a new
sport or hobby or buy a different magazine. Perhaps try
herbal tea instead of coffee for a month.
Travelling a different way home, getting up earlier or even
rearranging the furniture can add spark to your day.
Variety is more than the spice of life. It’s life itself.
27
see an opera
Popular culture is fast food for the brain – it’s quick, easy
and okay in moderation. But consumed all day, every
day it can eventually turn the mind to mush.
Invigorate your spirit. An occasional trip to a concert,
art gallery or the theatre can lift your mood and nourish
your soul. And at least once in your life, see an opera.
Check the newspapers for ticket specials and free public
performances. Or simply treat yourself to a five-course
cultural feast.
29
It’s easy to say thank you, but even easier to forget to.
Letting someone know you appreciate their friendship,
love or help is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
give thanks
Write them a note, send a card or make a call. Let them
know you value what they did for you.
Even if you were a guest of someone’s three months ago,
tell them you appreciate the hospitality they gave.
It’s never too late to say thank you.
People need to feel appreciated. Saying thank you costs
us nothing, but is priceless to others.
31
Sometimes we care too much for things and not
enough for people.
Giving freely helps us become less attached to physical
possessions, and more concerned with others.
share
Donating a small amount can make a big difference.
A little for us is a lot for someone less fortunate.
You’ll hardly notice, but they will.
If you can’t spare any money, donate some clothes or
possessions. You’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll
make someone else happier.
Besides, when you give, life has a funny way of giving
back to you another time.
33
When papers and junk take over your home or office
everything takes twice as long, and you can never find
anything. It’s exhausting. Try this simple plan of attack:
Give things a place
Put things back when you’ve finished using them, every time.
de-clutter
Practise single handling
When you pick up a piece of paper, toss it, mail it or file it.
Don’t pick up another piece until you’ve done all you can
with the first.
The same goes for clothes, cosmetics or anything else.
Deal with it then and there and clutter won’t build up. Avoid
putting too many things on an ‘I’ll deal with it later’ pile.
When in doubt, throw it out
Be ruthless. If you really can’t bear to see it go, find storage
space. But get junk out of your way and out of your life.
Clutter clouds the mind. Clear your surroundings of clutter
and your thoughts will become clearer too.
35
Take a few minutes today to duplicate your address book,
be a copycat
back up your computer files and copy your entire set of
keys. It could save you hours of agony and heartache.
Whatever it is, imagine you’re going to lose it tomorrow.
If it’s the only copy and it’s important to you, copy it,
back it up or write it down.
Losing important things doesn’t have to kill you.
Like all cats, copycats get another life.
37
Has anything caused more stress, wasted more time and
made more people late than misplacing or losing things?
make a scene
Keys, wallets, watches, pens and umbrellas – millions are lost
every day, sometimes forever. People even lose their cars in
parking stations because they forget where they parked.
Here’s how to stop being a loser. Memory experts suggest
creating a mini scene in your mind the instant you put
something down. The more ridiculous the scene, the better.
Placing a set of keys on a bookshelf is an unmemorable event.
But if you picture the keys doing a little dance with the books
you’ll remember exactly where you put them.
Parking in the orange zone, level five? Make a scene! Picture
your car full of oranges, with a big number five painted on
the side. You get the idea. It might sound silly, but it works.
39
Most people pay all their bills, debts and living expenses
first, and save what’s left. In other words, nothing.
pay yourself
first
Instead, pay yourself first. Financial planners say this is
one of the most important steps towards reaching your
financial dreams.
You may not aspire to a 20-room mansion and baths
of champagne, but becoming financially independent,
and not having to rely on an employer or the government,
is a terrific goal.
To save money, ‘pay’ yourself at least 10% of every after-tax
dollar you earn. Put it in a special account, and don’t touch it.
Then figure out ways to live off the other 90%.
Don’t fall into the trap of waiting for more income before you
start saving. Start paying yourself now, with your next pay.
It’s not just the amount you earn that creates wealth, it’s how
you manage what you have.
41
You may not be able to pay off a mortgage or car loan
straight away, but at least free yourself of credit and
store card debt.
become
debt free
Credit is not free money. It comes with the price tag of
high interest and high stress. You can stop the money
drain by breaking the plastic card habit.
Make it a rule to pay for things only with money you have.
If you can’t pay for it now, it will be even harder to pay later
with the added interest.
To get rid of any lingering debts set aside a percentage of
your income to pay them off. Economise so you can live
off what’s left.
If you’re still having trouble, contact the credit provider or
seek help from a community organisation that specialises
in helping people who are overwhelmed by their bills.
When you’re debt free, you feel free.
43
Healthy and broke beats rich and sick. You can get
more money but you can’t always get more health.
put health
before wealth
The key to keeping your health is consistency. A week
on a health farm after a year of bad living won’t do it.
Good health comes from little things repeated daily,
week in, week out.
Try a little more walking every day, and a little less fatty
food. A few more cups of water, a few less of coffee.
A couple more pears, a couple less pizzas. It all adds up.
‘It is health that is real wealth,’ said Gandhi, ‘and not
pieces of gold and silver.’
If you have your health, you have a fortune.
45
Going through life without enough sleep is like driving a
get some
sleep
car with the park-brake on. What should be an effortless
journey through the day becomes a struggle.
Progress is slow, you make mistakes and you never have
enough energy. The extra strain on your body can even
cause health problems.
Don’t fight nature. Give yourself the amount of sleep you
need and deserve. For most people that’s between seven
and nine hours a night.
For good health, a solid night’s sleep is still one of
nature’s finest prescriptions.
47
Would you like to feel better in a few seconds, just by
doing one simple thing? It’s not a pill or drink, and it
takes almost no effort.
stand tall
You’ll feel more confident, more energetic and have a
brighter outlook on life. Keep doing it, and your back,
neck and internal organs will become stronger.
You could even live longer.
It’s simply this: stand tall. Or if you’re sitting down, sit
tall. Straighten your back, and lift your chin. That’s all
there is to it.
How can this small thing make such a big difference?
Because good posture is the centre of your whole being.
When you stand correctly your skeleton is balanced,
you breathe better and your whole body gets more
oxygen. You feel better in an instant.
If you ever need a lift, just lift your body a little.
Your mood will follow.
49
One way to predict the future is to create it yourself,
through visualisation and affirmations.
create your
future
Visualising is sketching your future with your imagination.
Once you’ve drawn the outline, the colours of your real life
will follow.
If you’d like to meet new friends, visualise yourself in a
social situation feeling confident, relaxed and meeting
people easily.
You can also create your future through affirmations; writing
down your goals and dreams or saying them out loud.
An affirmation could be something like: ‘I am becoming
closer to others, by being a better listener and showing
more interest in their lives.’
It doesn’t matter if it’s not entirely true at the time.
Affirmations and visualisation help make it true.
So close your eyes and see a great future.
51
To stub cigarettes (or anything else) out of your life,
set a Victory day, no more than one month away.
set a v-day
Announce your V-day to people you see regularly.
Tell them that from the first of the month, you’ll
be a non-smoker.
Don’t think of your V-day as the beginning of a period
of denial. Instead, celebrate V-day as the beginning of
a freedom from the addiction that has been controlling
a part of your life.
Strengthen your resolve with affirmations. Write them
down or say them out loud in the present tense: ‘I don’t
smoke and I feel great,’ or ‘I feel fitter and have more energy.’
When V-day arrives, you’ll be a non-smoker.
No ifs, no puffs.
53
Next time you are worried about something, ask yourself
three questions.
1. What am I really worried about?
conquer worry
Don’t invent reasons to feel anxious. Examine all the facts
and you might find you’ve got nothing to worry about.
2. Is it important?
If there is a problem, perhaps it’s not as important as
you think. It may not be that significant in the greater
picture of your life.
3. What can I do about it?
Action conquers worry. If there is a real problem,
and it’s important, then take action. If there’s nothing
you can do, let it go. Save your energy for things you
can do something about.
Try this simple approach and you’ll feel like a warrior,
not a worrier.
55
When the weather’s fine it seems like summer’s shine will
last forever. We feel calm, and our relationships and work
life are smooth sailing.
remember
the spring
But now and again, it’s not so easy. The wintry storm
clouds set in, and your ship gets knocked and battered.
Don’t despair. Put up the storm sail, seal the hatches and
tough it out. Remind yourself that life’s winters never last.
It is said there’s a calm before the storm, but don’t forget
there’s a calm after the storm too.
So keep your chin up. That way you’ll see those first slats
of sunshine piercing through the clouds.
And you’ll know that spring has come round again.
57
Whining about work is a worldwide epidemic. Too many
people suffer a Monday-itis which lasts through to Friday.
work happy
For those who think work is a chore, it usually is. It could
be time for a new approach. Decide to become passionate
about your job. Work is more interesting the more
interested you are in it.
There’s almost always things you can like about your
work: the people, the flexibility or perhaps where it’s
taking you in the long term.
If there really is nothing to like about your job, by all
means change it. But sometimes it’s just our attitude
we need to change.
With a new approach to work your current job might
be the one you’ve been looking for.
59
Having fun at work keeps stress down and performance up.
That’s why the owners of one large business built a giant
indoor slippery slide from the third floor to the ground
floor. Employees just slide down whenever they like.
work light
Taking work lightly can lift results. Ideas flow freely, staff
are happier and working relationships can grow.
Working light is a balance between concentration and
relaxation. Try to find this balance as you work.
You may not be able to convince your boss to install a
slippery slide, but you’ll enjoy work more if you can find
ways to work lightly.
61
Most people believe the key to success is to always try
harder. ‘Push it to the limit,’ we’re told. ‘Give it maximum
effort... 110%!’
try softer
Here’s another idea: try softer. Trying too hard is often less
productive. Think of people who try too hard on the dance
floor or brake their car too hard in the wet. It can have the
opposite effect.
Trying too hard can also be bad for our health because we
are more prone to burn-out and stress. There are times it’s
better not to force things, and try a little softer instead.
There is strength in softness. Soft things are more flexible,
says a Zen teaching, and are not easily broken.
63
The greatest way to improve business or personal
relationships is to help others feel special.
help others
feel special
It doesn’t take much. Tell them they look sensational,
congratulate them or let them know you couldn’t have
done it without them.
Understand what they like, read and listen to. Ask
about their day, their families and their opinions.
A little sincere effort from us means so much to others.
Amidst our busy lives we need to remember the simple
things that are so easily forgotten.
One of the most important of all is to take the time to
appreciate, compliment and give those close to us the
attention they need and deserve.
65
You don’t have to lick people’s faces, but do show you’re
happy to see them.
greet people
like a puppy
Puppies remember everyone and are always thrilled to see
people. When puppies greet us they are genuinely excited,
and that makes us feel good about ourselves.
First impressions really do count, especially those first
few seconds.
Next time you meet a friend, colleague or someone you
care for, try and put a little more of you into your greeting;
make eye contact, smile and lift the enthusiasm meter.
Why do people love puppies?
Because puppies love people.
67
There’s a whole world of people to share and do things with.
Sometimes all we have to say is ‘Why don’t we?’
say why
don’t we?
‘Why don’t we meet for breakfast? Why don’t we see that
new film? Why don’t we play tennis once a week?’
If you’re starting a new course or want to take up exercise,
ask someone you know to start with you.
You’ll find you stick with things when you do them with a
friend, and you have more fun. Sharing more, doing more
and connecting more with others creates a wonderful life.
Why don’t we?
69
Arguments are bad enough without letting them ruin the rest
of the week. Unresolved conflict, no matter how small, builds
up, creates stress and distracts us from important things.
put a sunset
clause
on anger
Try to resolve all those minor disagreements and daily
dramas before the next sun goes down.
Do whatever it takes to clear out resentment, so you can start
the next day afresh. Either get together with the other person
or resolve it on your own.
A symbolic release of anger can help. Try to visualise your
anger being cast off a cliff into the sea. Or write down the
whole drama then tear it up.
By putting a sunset clause on anger you’ll eliminate
destructive emotions before night falls.
The sun rises every day. You can too.
71
Whoever said fight fire with fire?
fight fire
with water
Fighting fire with fire in arguments or disagreements just
creates a bigger fire. Anger and insults fuel the fire and
burn friendships.
But water cools and calms.
Forgiveness, understanding, saying how important
the relationship is and how much you want to resolve
the dispute can put the fire out in an instant.
Ask any fire fighter: water works best.
73
Problem people have a way of making things worse. They
look for a cloud in every blue sky, and keep telling everyone
how bad things will get.
be part of
the solution
No brains, talent or initiative is needed to be part of the
problem – just a wet blanket and a miserable attitude to life.
When we open our mouths to share our opinions and
ideas we should do it with a view to making things better,
not worse.
Admit there’s a problem, but then ask the questions that
begin to solve it. ‘What can we do about this? How can we
learn from it? Where to from here?
Being part of the solution turns problems into
opportunities, and lifts the spirits of everyone involved.
75
Harsh and thoughtless criticism achieves nothing and
damages relationships.
If you have to criticise a child, colleague or friend, do it softly.
criticise softly
Sing praise before you criticise. Tell them what they’re doing
right before you tell them what they’re doing wrong.
Offer alternatives. Say ‘Why don’t you try it this way...’
Perhaps they didn’t know how in the first place.
Find out why. You might discover there’s a very good reason
for their behaviour – like a personal problem.
Tread lightly. An understanding and supportive tone i
s a million times more effective than being harsh and
judgmental. Make sure they know it’s their actions you’re
criticising, and not them personally.
77
Being responsible means you are able to respond to
challenging and difficult situations.
be response
able
Always relying on others to come to the rescue creates
stress and helplessness because you hand over response
ability for your own life.
Those who overly depend on family, friends, their
employer or the government to bail them out never get
any practice at solving life’s challenges. They lose the
ability to respond to problems themselves.
Being responsible is empowering. Developing and
practising your ability to respond to life and its
challenges gives you confidence, control and freedom.
79
Not all leaders have an official title. There are times when
all of us lead our family, friends or colleagues. Here’s how to
be a better leader.
be a great
leader
Listen to your followers
Autocratic leaders never lead for long. Listen to your
followers and they will respect you. You don’t have to adopt
every suggestion, but at least hear the opinions of others.
Communicate clearly
Failure to communicate clearly has ruined many leaders.
Make sure everyone understands exactly what’s going on
and what’s expected of them.
Lead by example
A poor leader says do it. A great leader says let’s do it.
Always be prepared to do what you expect others to do.
Inspire them by showing them.
81
An advertisement for sports shoes showed the thoughts of
know the
miracle of
gradualness
a jogger running along the street. ‘Just to the signpost,’ he
thought, then ‘Just to the crossroads,’ then ‘Just to the kerb.’
If the jogger thought he had to run for another hour he’d
probably give up. But just to the kerb? No problem.
Life is like jogging. Often our goals and dreams seem so
daunting that we don’t even begin them. We need to take
them step by step.
The pyramids were erected stone by stone, the Sistine Chapel
painted brushstroke by brushstroke and those who climb
Everest conquer it one step after another.
If we can just take another step, no matter how small, we’ll
eventually make it to our destination. It may not seem like
we’re getting anywhere, but that is the miracle of gradualness.
83
Think of one thing in your life that you have been
putting off.
Perhaps it’s getting fit, resolving a personal issue,
tidying your work area or looking for a new job.
begin
Now is the time to begin. Right now! Make a start this
instant, while the thought is with you.
Walk around the block, make the call, clean up your
desk or write to five companies you’d like to work for.
Put this book down, and take that empowering first step now.
Still here?
What are you waiting for?
Go on, discover the magic of beginning.
85
Next time you go to bite your tongue, don’t.
speak your
mind
So often we want to speak up, protest or tell someone
how we feel. But we just… don’t. Whether it’s fear of
embarrassment or rejection, something keeps us quiet.
If you have something to say, say it. Speaking up creates
friends and opportunities. And every time you speak,
your confidence builds.
If you’ve got an opinion, share it with others. If you think
someone has been unfair to you tell them calmly, to their
face. They’ll respect you for it.
And if you care for someone more than they’ll ever know,
tell them.
Some things are better left said.
87
If you want to build stronger relationships, rediscover
the lost art of listening.
tune in
Some people don’t listen. They just pretend to. They nod
their heads at the right time, but nothing gets absorbed.
Practise listening not with the intent to reply, but with
a deep, selfless concentration.
If you find yourself zoning out when someone is talking,
pretend you’re going to be tested on what they said. Tune
in also to the feelings and emotions behind the words.
Listen… new worlds will open up for you.
89
There are people who go through life with the motto
‘all take and no give.’
give a little
They call only when they need a favour, and when
they drop by it’s always just to borrow something.
All take and no give is like making all withdrawals
and no deposits. Soon there will be nothing left in
the friendship account.
Don’t bankrupt your relationships with friends and family –
make sure your giving and taking are in balance.
91
Looks, talent and intelligence count for little if all that people
remember are poor conversation manners.
Sometimes we all need to be reminded of the simple basics
we learned as children.
Give your undivided attention. When others are talking resist
looking at your watch or around the room.
back to basics
Don’t demand. If you’d like someone to do something, say
‘When you get a chance, would you mind…’ or ‘If you get a
spare minute, could you…’
Resist interrupting. Let people finish before you start.
Let others shine. Instead of hogging the spotlight, give
everyone some time on centre stage.
Try not to talk too much about yourself. If overused, the
word ‘I’ can be one of the rudest in the dictionary.
Be a bridge-builder. In a group, remember to introduce those
who haven’t met.
Be aware of your words. Many people are offended by bad
language.
‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are words that never go out of style.
93
Talking well on the telephone is a bit like dancing the tango.
It takes charm, skill and some simple steps.
Concentrate
do the
telephone
tango
People can always tell when you’re doing something else
while you’re speaking to them. It makes them feel
unimportant. If you can’t give someone your full attention,
call them back when you can.
Know when not to use it
For truly important personal and business conversations use
the telephone only to arrange a meeting.
Be enthusiastic
A company once put little mirrors on each telephone handset
to remind its employees to smile when they were talking to
customers.
The telephone magnifies our tone and mood. When
someone calls be happy to hear from them. They’ll feel your
smile on the other end.
Next time the phone rings, get ready to dance.
95
Some people are always late. They were late to high school
and they’re still running about half an hour behind.
allow time
A little too late can be much too late for the other person.
Practised often enough, it will eventually strain relationships.
If you’re sick of the ‘always late’ tag, it may be time for a new
strategy. Try leaving fifteen minutes earlier than you need to.
Set an alarm if you have to, then drop everything and go.
You’ll enjoy the calm of having a few minutes to spare.
97
Last minute cramming may have worked for us as teenagers,
but sooner or later we’ll get caught out.
Whether it’s giving a speech, buying gifts or going for a job
interview, lack of thought and preparation usually shows.
prepare
Things have a way of taking longer and being more
complicated than we think. Leaving everything until
the last minute is a recipe for stress and poor results.
Prepare for the next day by making a list the night before.
Get clothes and things ready early. If it’s a speech,
presentation or important conversation, be ready at
least a day or two in advance.
Swap panic for preparation. You’ll be relaxed, confident
and set up for success.
99
A what? An ATANA. Someone who’s All Talk And
don’t be
an atana
No Action.
‘I’ll send it to you, I’ll return it, I’ll fix it, I’ll learn it,
I’ll give it up, I’ll get it done,’ they say. But they never do.
ATANAS talk the talk, but that’s about it. When it comes
to action they’re better at making excuses than progress.
To be taken seriously by others, we need to honour
the commitments we make, no matter how small.
After all, who wants to be known as an ATANA?
101
If you feel like refusing an invitation or request, saying
so is much better than accepting and being unhappy.
say no if
you want to
Show your appreciation for being asked, but don’t feel
the need to overly apologise or offer detailed explanations
for declining.
For instance, just say ‘Thank you for thinking of me, but
unfortunately I can’t make it that night.’ Or, ‘I appreciate
being asked, but I just can’t volunteer my time right now.’
There’s nothing rude about refusing politely, so there’s
no need to feel guilty.
103
Casual comments from others about our appearance,
performance or how we live shouldn’t get us down.
shrug it off
Being over-sensitive bruises self-esteem and confidence,
as well as creating friction and straining relationships.
People don’t usually set out to hurt each other’s feelings.
Mostly they just say things without thinking.
Don’t take casual remarks too seriously or personally.
Just smile, shrug it off and get on with life.
105
In professional road cycling, the rider in front will often
intentionally give up the lead and drop back to be with
the other riders.
join a team
The cyclists know they have a better chance of winning
when they ride as a team rather than going it alone –
even if it means slowing down. In a group, each rider can
take turns at leading which helps all the riders conserve
energy and race a better race.
It’s the same in life – going solo is hard work. Joining
a team or group helps you reach your goals sooner.
Whether you’re learning new skills, recovering from
a crisis or trying to lose weight, you can progress more
easily when others around you are doing the same.
Team-work gives you the ideas, support and friendship
you need to be your best. But the greatest gift a team
gives you is its team spirit – the energy and strength to
keep going and achieve your goals.
107
There are two sorts of people in the world: those who lift
you up, and those who bring you down.
get around
‘up people’
‘Up people’ give you encouragement, motivation and faith.
They make an effort when no one else can be bothered.
Up people are always part of the solution. They have endless
enthusiasm, fresh ideas and believe in a bright future.
No matter how hard you work, being around the wrong
people can bring all your plans undone. If your friends or
associates don’t want the very best for you, find ones who do.
Get around Up people – and rise above the crowd.
109
Accepting a compliment gives you instant self-esteem.
accept
compliments
Refusing a compliment, however, is like putting yourself
down. We have to fight enough negative comments in life
without turning positive ones to dust.
So don’t feel uncomfortable. Next time a friend gives you
the gift of a compliment accept it gracefully and confidently.
By letting compliments live, they can empower us.
How do you let a compliment live? Look at the person
who gave it to you and say two words.
Thank you.
111
‘Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances,’ was an early
description of Fred Astair, before he became known as
one of the greatest dancers and entertainers of all time.
ignore critics
Critics aren’t just for the famous. We all have them,
and often they’re the people closest to us.
Wherever there’s a glimpse of enterprise or get-up-and-go
a critic won’t be far away. The better the idea or
accomplishment, the more criticism it can attract.
Listen to constructive critics, who give understanding
and support. But ignore destructive critics, who attack
you personally and try to bring you down.
Destructive critics are often insecure themselves. Their
criticism is their problem. Don’t let it become yours.
113
learn from
mistakes...
other people’s
Learning from mistakes already made by others can save
heartache, time and money.
If you want to change career, get in shape or become an
outstanding parent, talk to someone who already has. They
can tell you where the traps are so you can avoid them.
While it may be admirable to learn from our mistakes,
isn’t it better to learn from other people’s?
115
All the persistence and positive thinking in the world
won’t make a bad idea work.
drop your
bad ideas
Trying hard enough for long enough works only if we
have a good idea to start with.
People waste years pursuing destructive relationships,
dead-end jobs or failing businesses that could never work,
all because they never had the courage or sense to abandon
a bad idea.
At times we’ve got to say ‘bad idea’ – and just drop it.
Don’t waste another second on it. Clearing the bad ideas
from your life makes room for the good ones.
Remember, ideas are like stars. There’s plenty more out there.
117
Empathy and sympathy may sound similar, but they are
worlds apart.
empathise
Empathy is the deepest understanding of another. In times
of crisis or tragedy it is the greatest support you can give.
Empathy shares in another’s feelings, where sympathy
just observes.
Empathy feels the pain of others, where sympathy just
feels sorry for them.
Where sympathy sends flowers and soon forgets, empathy
writes the difficult words, and always remembers.
119
There are those who think that by cutting down
successful people they can make themselves look taller.
But they are mistaken.
let poppies
grow tall
When you restrict another’s growth you stunt your own
growth, and society’s growth too.
Those who contribute to society must be allowed to grow.
The taller they become, the more they can spread the
seeds of their success to others.
Swap envy for support, resentment for praise, and be
happy for the success of those who are making the world
a better place.
Don’t cut tall poppies down. Wish for them to grow.
121
We often spend far too long on menial tasks. Paperwork
which could be done in an hour takes four, and a half
hour tidy-up can easily turn into a half-day marathon.
set an
end time
Jobs expand to fill the available time, and end up stealing
more hours than they should. One way to stop trivial
tasks becoming titanic is to give yourself the discipline
of an end time.
Next time you clean out your top drawer turn over an
egg timer. Perhaps allow 30 minutes to write a letter or
two hours in the garden. A five minute timer beside
the phone can help those with telephone addiction.
Of course, some things shouldn’t be rushed. But many
trivial things could be done more quickly and efficiently
if we put an end time on them.
123
Great artists often say their best works were never truly
finished. They could have made them better, but the time
came when they made themselves stop.
be happy
with 99%
They realised the extra effort would be too time
consuming, too stressful and even counter-productive.
The blind pursuit of perfection simply wasn’t worth it.
Yet they are still great artists.
Whether it’s art, work, a hobby or gardening, if it has
to be perfect it may never get finished. 100% is often
unrealistic and unattainable.
While seeking excellence is a worthy goal, trying to
be perfect can give us ulcers.
At times we should have the courage and sense to
accept that 99% is good enough.
125
You can achieve anything you want to, but you can’t
achieve everything.
prioritise
If your dream is to become a leading heart surgeon it’s
unlikely you can be a pro tennis player as well. To excel
at anything requires devotion and time. Sometimes we
have to give up in order to get.
We can’t make more time. Unless they invent an eighth
day of the week, we’ve got to fit our lives into the time
we’ve been given.
Decide what’s most important and devote your time to that.
If this means dropping something else, so be it.
You might do less, but you’ll achieve more.
127
climb molehills
When we feel overwhelmed by all that’s expected of us in
the big picture sometimes it’s best to back off and work
on the smaller one.
Major in minors for a while. Do some gardening, write
letters or catch up on reading.
Writing to a friend may not seem like a life changing goal,
but it’s still important.
Climbing molehills takes the pressure off and gives you
the confidence and strength to conquer life’s mountains.
129
make a
fresh start
As food is processed it loses its original goodness.
Try to eat more food that’s closer to nature. Fruit, vegetables,
grains and fresh produce are more natural than TV dinners.
They’re also higher in fibre and lower in additives.
For the processed or packet foods you do buy, like breakfast
cereal, check the labels to see what’s been added. If it’s a
cocktail of numbers and additives, find a purer version.
Make your fridge greener and your shelves fresher, and
you’ll be eating food closer to what nature had in mind.
131
As technology expands so do our waistlines.
take the stairs
Computers, paying bills over the phone and drive-thrus
mean we are walking far less than our grandparents did.
Too much sitting can be bad for our health. So whenever
you can, walk it.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator, and when you get
on moving footways or escalators, keep walking.
Just fifteen minutes walking every day uses up about
3500 calories a month, which means one pound less fat
on your body. It also improves heart-lung fitness and
tones your legs.
You may not have time to work-out, but walking small
distances makes a big difference. A bit here and a bit
there all adds up to better health.
133
pick up
the pace
Wherever you’re going, walk a little faster. A faster
walk gives you confidence and purpose.
Walking faster lifts your heart rate as well as your
spirit. You’ll keep in shape, strengthen your muscles
and feel better.
Putting a spring in your step will put a spring in your
whole life.
135
Human bodies weren’t designed to sit behind a desk for eight
hours, then in front of a TV for another three. When muscles
aren’t used they get weak and inflexible. Little things like
walking up a flight of stairs become a huge effort.
get stronger
So people find ways to avoid using their muscles at all,
making them weaker still. Eventually even getting out of a car
becomes a struggle.
Strong, supple muscles are essential for good health. One
simple, effective way to strengthen them is to lift light
weights. This creates muscle tone without adding bulk.
It’s never too late to benefit from lifting weights. Studies show
that older people who lift light weights can delay some of the
effects of ageing – and even reverse them. Weights also boost
your metabolism so you burn more fat, even while you sleep.
Join a fitness centre, buy some small hand-weights to use at
home or just lift your own body by doing squats, stomach
crunches and push-ups. Two or three twenty minute sessions
a week is all it takes. You’ll get stronger and live longer.
137
A good habit is like a strong rope – it connects you to the
keep the
thread
important disciplines of your life. Whether it’s staying
organised, keeping fit or reading more – the more you
work at it the stronger the habit becomes.
But there will be times you won’t be able to give good
habits your full commitment. The rope gets thinner, and
you’re tempted to break it altogether. These are the times
to keep the thread.
If you lose the thread completely, the habit is far harder
to find again. People who re-start exercise after a lengthy
break know this only too well.
Keep even the tiniest thread of a good habit and it will
stay yours. Walk around the block before breakfast,
spend ten minutes filing papers or read one page of
your book before you go to sleep.
Keep the thread, and you’ll keep the habit alive.
139
People who never show the slightest interest in others
aren’t much fun to be around.
show interest
No matter what you say to them they always look for an
opportunity to turn the conversation around – so it’s
about them.
Just as you start telling them about your weekend, they’ll
find a way to tell you about theirs.
These people don’t realise their self obsession costs them
friends and opportunities.
Show genuine interest in others by asking questions and
truly listening. If you want to be interesting, be interested.
141
It is often said the most wonderful word a person can
hear is their own name. So why do we forget them two
seconds after being introduced?
say their name
Actually we don’t forget names, we just fail to record
them in the first place.
Next time you meet someone for the first time, press
your mind’s record button by carefully listening for the
sound of their name.
Once you’ve recorded it, play it back. Find any excuse
to say it. ‘Nice to meet you Tim,’ or ‘Isabelle – that’s a
lovely name.’
Perhaps say the name to yourself a few times, or even
write it down soon after.
Remember people’s names, and they’ll remember you.
143
One minute a child could be playing by a pool, the next
they could be drowning.
keep watch
It’s not only children we need to watch. Good friends
should keep an eye on their friends and loved ones just
as they would a child near water.
Someone you care about may be drowning in despair,
but because nobody sees it happening, they sink deeper.
Keep watch for warning signs of unhappiness…
so you’re there to extend a hand.
145
There are times everyone needs a little help, but often
our offers are too shallow. ‘If you need any help let me
know,’ or ‘If you want a hand, give me a call.’
arrange a time
People will often refuse an offer not because they
don’t want or need help, but because they don’t
want to burden others.
Whether it’s a personal problem, study assignment or
moving house, if you’re serious about wanting to help
another arrange a specific time and place so you can
be there for them.
Say, ‘What time and day shall we get together so I can
help you?’
147
If we are worried, depressed or deeply troubled by
something, often it’s best to let someone know.
open up
For instance, you may be overloaded or overstressed.
Instead of suffering in silence, consider letting those
close to you know about it.
By opening up to those near to you, they’ll be able to
understand your situation, lend their support and
suggest fresh solutions.
It’s the same in relationships. If you let your partner or
close friends know about a personal problem they’ll
usually be more forgiving, and won’t mistake your
stress for a loss of interest or caring for them.
You’ll also feel much lighter with that weight off your
shoulders.
149
The first months and years of a relationship are so
keep your
love young
exciting. You do so much for each other, naturally
thinking of creative ways to become closer.
While it’s normal for relationships to change and
evolve, there’s no reason that sparkle has to disappear.
Do some of the little things you did for each other
when you first met. Visit new places, set new goals
and try new things together.
Show a new interest. Ask about their feelings
and dreams. And tell them how you feel.
Love only grows old if we let it.
151
Ideas for things to see and do are like good jokes –
you can never remember them when you need to.
keep a fun list
So often we hear about great movies, books, restaurants
or places to go, but because we forget them they drift
out of our lives.
Keep fun ideas alive by writing them down – on your
fun list. Whenever you hear about something you’d
like to do or see, just jot it down on your list so you
can look it up later.
Whether it’s choosing a movie, surfing the Internet or
finding a unique place for breakfast with friends, you’ll
always have plenty of great ideas – and lots of fun too!
153
Those who never take a break are generally the ones who
need to the most. Over-work leads to fatigue, mistakes,
stress and even illness.
re-create
Recreation re-creates you. It re-creates your energy,
your imagination and your love of life.
Either schedule in recreation time, or just let it happen
when it feels right. Spend a weekend away, visit the ocean
or simply enjoy a long lunch with a friend.
Take a break and re-create a happier, healthier life.
155
You don’t have to go camping or hike far out into the
get some
fresh air
wilderness, but try to go somewhere where there are
more trees than people. At least once a month.
The song of birds is more soothing than car horns, and
trees are more attractive than street signs. Forests give
us the air we breathe, while traffic gives us toxic fumes.
It’s no contest.
After a few days out of town you’ll return home
rejuvenated, with a clearer perspective on life.
The magnificence of Nature reminds us how trivial
many of our problems really are.
157
Most people know how important it is to protect the planet
– they just forget to do the little things that help.
tread gently
Recycle and re-use household papers, plastics and glass.
For example, keep old shopping bags for trash disposal.
Use public transport as often as you can. It’s cheaper, less
stressful and better for the environment.
Buy planet-friendly products. Environmental organisations
generally have lists of what’s green and what’s mean.
Cutting back on paper, fuel, electricity and water helps the
environment, nurturing it for generations to come.
Don’t trample over your beautiful planet. Tread gently.
159
invest time
wisely
Time is more valuable than money. Money comes
and goes, but time just goes.
Hours wasted away turn into wasted days which
become lost years.
Be careful not to invest too much time in dead-end
enterprises: worrying, complaining or associating
with negative people. They give poor returns.
Time is your most valuable asset. Invest it wisely.
161
Three to four hours watching television every day
adds up to more than ten years of TV in a lifetime.
watch your
tv intake
That’s 24 hours a day, seven days a week sitting in front
of the television – for more than a decade! You’ve got
better things to do with your life.
Control your TV, don’t let it control you. Plan your
viewing by checking the guide in advance and circling
your favourites.
Resist the temptation to always watch the next show,
and the next and the next.
If you haven’t planned to watch it, put down the remote
... and pick up a book.
163
If you’re having trouble actually doing your ‘to do’ list,
try mapping your week. Without a map it’s easy to wander
through the days a little lost, never getting much done.
map your
week
Allocating a specific time to do things is an effective
way to get control of your days again. If you don’t map
a day and time to do those important things you may
postpone them forever.
Mapping your week is easy. Simply allocate a specific block of
time for each item on your to do list: paying bills, exercising,
studying or spending time with your family.
Buy a diary or planner and write the tasks in, preferably
at the start of the week. This is your map. Check it first thing,
then a few times during each day.
Allocating definite days and times is really just making
appointments with yourself. Keep them the way you keep
those with others.
165
Plans are like weather forecasts – they don’t always turn
out quite as predicted.
don’t be a
plan-a-holic
While planning is important, we also need to expect
the unexpected. Even the best plan can hit an iceberg.
There will be times when a plan must be modified,
or even dropped cold.
Be open to change and you’ll be open to new opportunities
and adventures. Often we don’t know what we want in life
until we see it.
Find the perfect balance between making plans and
embracing the magic of spontaneity.
167
Working a bit here and a bit there is like trying to fill a bucket
with a slow-dripping tap. You can do it but it takes forever.
work in blocks
Pour it on instead. Several hours of dedicated time helps you
become immersed in what you’re doing. Your concentration
will improve and you’ll be more productive.
So plug in the answer machine and hang up the ‘do not
disturb’ sign. If the distractions still find you, try working
late at night or early mornings.
Also, close the door on intruding thoughts. They can be the
biggest distracters of all. Learn to zero in on the task at hand,
putting unrelated thoughts aside for later.
Working in blocks can also reduce stress. Focused time
lets you reach an uninterrupted flow, allowing you to relax
while you work.
169
Do you ever sit down at your desk to work, but just gaze
blankly into space?
Little pauses add up. Too much stalling can steal hours,
days and eventually months from your life.
get into gear
While we don’t need to rush through every moment
of our lives, continual stalling for no reason leaves us
drained and unmotivated.
Like stalling a car, once you stop, it takes extra effort
to get started again. It’s easier just to keep going.
Next time you catch yourself stalling for no reason,
get back into gear… and get on with it!
171
tackle
the tough
things first
The best way to get through the day is to do the tough
things first.
Whether it’s returning a problem call, confronting a
personal issue or making a hard decision, get it out
of the way by getting it done early.
Your days will become more productive and less stressful.
You won’t waste time worrying about the difficult things
you’ve got to do – you’ll have already done them!
Tackling the tough things first not only reduces stress,
it builds self-esteem and strength of character.
173
Miracle powders, weight loss creams, workout contraptions
– there’s a new diet or fitness scam every month.
have a healthy
scepticism
Beware. The marketing of these companies is often far
better than their products.
Their advertising makes it all sound so easy. They imply
you can get fit and lose weight without having to do much
at all. They never tell you results take time and patience.
Instead of getting fit, often all you get is a piece of fitness
junk. You don’t lose inches, just money.
Stay healthy by having a healthy scepticism. The promise
of fast fitness and weight loss could mean someone’s trying
to make a fast buck. At your expense.
175
Think of your body as a roaring camp fire. The food you
eat is wood for the fire.
Not eating enough is like not putting enough wood on the
fire. The fire loses strength, and eventually goes out.
fuel your fire
Eating to excess is like putting too much wood on the fire.
The fire cannot burn it all. Fires burn best with smaller
amounts of wood, spread out over the day.
Eating sugary food like cakes, cookies and chocolates is
like putting paper on the fire. It makes the fire burn
brightly for a moment, but the energy boost doesn’t last.
Far better are slow-burning logs.
Eating too many fatty foods like oils, fast food and full-fat
dairy products is like putting sand on the fire. Slowly it
chokes, and dies.
Eating too many artificial, processed or packet foods is
like putting plastic on the fire. It poisons and pollutes it.
Fires burn best not with artificial substances, but with
natural wood.
Fuel your fire with good nutrition and your flames will
burn brighter for longer.
177
Many people consume too much fat, and eventually bankrupt
their health. To lose excess pounds and become fitter, most
people don’t need to eat less food, just less fat – especially
saturated and animal fat.
have a fat
budget
That’s why many health authorities recommend a daily
‘fat budget’ of 25-60 grams a day, depending on your size,
health and calorie needs.
By having a fat budget you can trim down and keep a
balanced diet without giving up your favourite foods. Eating
a doughnut in the morning doesn’t mean you’ve sinned. It
just means you’ve used ten grams of your budget for the day.
So you can still enjoy treats and desserts – just stay within
your daily budget.
Stick mainly to servings with two grams of fat or less, and
you’re unlikely to blow your budget. Switch to low or non-fat
dairy, fat-free dressings and spreads and include more fibre
and vegetarian dishes.
Don’t worry if you go a little over budget some days. It’s the
consistency of sticking to your plan week in, week out that
will make you look and feel a million dollars.
179
By reading the nutrition labels on food packets you’ll
discover how many grams of fat per serving each food
contains.
read food
labels
Some fat in your diet is healthy, but too much can be a
problem. While there’s no need to become obsessed with
details, having some idea of what you’re eating helps you
shed excess weight and maintain a balanced diet.
An egg has around six grams of fat, a glass of milk can have
up to ten grams, while a bowl of toasted breakfast cereal can
have over twenty grams.
For meat and other food without nutrition labels, buy a
pocket-sized fat-counter booklet from supermarkets or book
stores. It lists the fat and cholesterol content of just about
every food you can buy.
Don’t be fooled by labels and advertising which highlight the
percentage of fat. Claims such as ‘Only 5% fat’ or ‘96% fat
free’ can be misleading. When in doubt, check your fat
counter booklet or contact the manufacturer.
Remember, it’s the grams of fat per serving you’re looking for.
181
Every year, millions of people around the world
get a
cholesterol
test
discover their blood cholesterol level is too high…
just after they’ve had a heart attack.
Being unaware of your blood cholesterol level can
lead to tragedy.
Heart disease and strokes don’t happen just to obese
male smokers. Seemingly healthy men and women
of all ages have their lives shattered every day from
these diseases.
Don’t wait till later. Make an appointment with a
doctor today for a blood cholesterol check.
A simple five-minute test is all it takes.
183
Juggling classes, exams, sports, three-hour phone calls,
discover your
inner teenager
a part-time job and a frantic social life is enough to make
anyone stressed.
But not teenagers. They approach things with less stress
because they know not to take life too seriously.
Teenagers do what they want to do, and are not intimidated
by others ‘who know best.’ They have the courage to take
risks and try new things.
Teenagers are expected to learn from adults, but perhaps
there are some things adults could learn from them.
185
Whatever it is you want in life just ask, and
you will begin to attract it.
just ask
How you ask is up to you. Visualisation, writing
goals and prayer are all ways of asking.
Once you’ve asked, expect it to happen. Expect
miracles to occur in your life, and they will.
Think about it. Incredible things have happened
to you, and they’ll keep happening.
All you have to do is ask.
187
Fortune favours the brave, not the over-cautious.
leap first
Looking before you leap is not always wise. When
opportunities appear, they often disappear just as quickly.
Don’t always wait to get every single fact before you act.
By the time you do, someone may have leapt ahead of you.
When you see a chance, and it feels right, take it.
Opportunities are like ships pulling away from the pier.
Look too long and you could miss the boat.
189
The first time you walk a new way through a forest you
blaze the
confidence
trail
have to brush aside the branches and bushes. Progress is
slow and tentative.
The next time is easier as obstacles begin to be cleared.
The time after is easier still. The way becomes clearer and
clearer until eventually you create a trail free of obstacles.
Gaining confidence with anything new is like creating a
trail. Whether it’s exercise, meeting new people or
making sales, the first few times are usually the hardest.
But the way becomes clearer. Every time you exercise,
make friends or make a sale, the obstacles of uncertainty
and fear are brushed aside.
So keep blazing the trail. As you do, remember that you
are creating confidence with every step.
191
I’d be happy if I had a different job, I’d be happy if I was
in a new relationship, I’d be happy if I looked like that,
I’d be happy if…’
break the
if cycle
Don’t fall prey to the ‘I’d be happy if…’ syndrome.
Sometimes ifs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
The problem with living the ‘if life’ is that there’s always
another one waiting. The cycle never ends.
By all means pursue what you want, but at the same
time appreciate what you have.
You’ll be happy if you start being happy right now.
193
Think of your mind as a garden. Positive thoughts are
flowers, doubts are weeds.
grow thought
flowers
Unhappy people uproot all the flowers then let the weeds
grow out of control, until they take over their garden.
To be happier, have more flowers in your garden and
fewer weeds.
Whenever the seed of a thought takes root in your mind,
ask yourself whether it’s a flower or a weed. If it’s a weed,
rip it out.
Then plant a flower.
195
A secret smile is barely perceptible. It’s so tiny that
no one can see it. It’s yours alone.
secret smile
This kind of smile is sometimes used in meditation
because of its power to create a peaceful state of mind.
Smile a secret smile when you’re stressed, sad or drifting
off to sleep. It instantly relaxes you, and calms your thoughts.
It’s almost impossible to secret smile and feel worried at the
same time.
A secret smile is your secret to confidence, calm and control.
Try it now.
197
Some people’s promises are like snowflakes: they look
great in the air but all too soon they melt away.
don’t make
flaky promises
‘Let’s do lunch; We’ll catch up next week; I’ll call you
tomorrow.’ And… nothing.
If you don’t mean it don’t say it. Making social
arrangements just to be polite or please people can be
dishonest to others and cause resentment. Better not
to make the plans in the first place.
Stick to the plans you do make, and others will make
an effort to include you in theirs.
You’ll also get a reputation as a promise-keeper.
199
A little girl complained to her mother there were
never any letters for her when the mail came.
‘Try writing some,’ her mother suggested.
stay in touch
‘You mean if I wrote some letters I would get some?’
the child asked.
‘Without a doubt,’ came the reply.
And it was true. The more letters she wrote the more
she received.
People put off letter writing because they think letters
have to be long.
But letters don’t have to tell everything. In fact, they
don’t have to say much at all. A short note or a couple
of lines on a postcard or email can make a lasting
difference to any friendship.
Just the act of writing lets others know you care.
201
Make your letters, memos, emails and essays clearer
and more powerful.
Start strong, finish strong
write with style
Journalists often put extra effort into the beginning
and end of their articles. The beginning draws the
reader in, while the end lingers in their mind.
Keep it simple
‘No idea is so complex,’ said Albert Einstein, ‘that it
cannot be explained simply.’ Try to avoid jargon and
make clear, concise points.
Edit ruthlessly
Formal writing and business letters require rewriting.
It will make them shorter, sharper and easier for
others to read.
203
Make the next book you buy an empty one. Fill its pages
with the stories, thoughts and feelings from your life.
write to
yourself
Written words capture a feeling forever. Record joy,
and a decade later you can read it over and feel the
happiness you felt that day.
Record despair, and one sad day you can read it once
more and know you will recover, like you did before.
By being a student of your own history you can design
a better future.
Capture in words your life’s journey, before time steals
its lessons away.
205
Think of it as exercise and you might put it off for
another year. Simply decide to move more and you’ll
get in shape and stay healthy without even realising it.
move
The key is to find something you like that involves
moving. Use your imagination. Browse the Internet or
the magazine stand and you’ll find dozens of ideas.
Who knows – yoga, ballroom dancing or even indoor
rock-climbing might be your thing. It doesn’t matter
what you do, what matters is that you do. Something,
anything!
So get a move on. You’ll feel better in a week, and look
better in a month.
207
Getting fitter doesn’t require obsessive determination or
pushing to extremes. It’s more about showing up.
All we really need to do is get there. To the gym for a
workout, to the park for a walk, to the pool for a swim.
show up
Make consistency your strongest muscle of all. Once the
habit is formed, exercise can be an effortless part of your
weekly routine.
Set yourself up for success by scheduling your week’s exercise
sessions before the week begins. Even get your training gear
out each night before.
It takes 30 days to form the exercise habit. So for that first
month put more energy into showing up than into the
workout itself.
209
You don’t have to live in a fortress, but make sure
your house isn’t an intruder’s dream home.
be secure
Door locks, window locks, alarms and security
doors are good value when compared to the shock
and expense of a break-in.
The same goes for your car. No matter how long
you’re away from it, lock it. Don’t tempt thieves by
leaving valuables or even loose change in sight. If
something is irreplaceable, make it a rule to take it
with you.
Above all, look after your most valuable possession
of all; you.
211
Do you know how to emergency brake your car in the
wet? Or how to avoid getting into a skid? Or how to
get out of one safely?
save a life
Most licence testing and training doesn’t cover these
basic safety manoeuvres.
Taking a day to do an advanced or defensive driving
course could save your life.
And doing a first aid course could save someone else’s.
Even a sprained ankle can be serious if you are away
from help and don’t know what to do.
Accidents happen. Learning how to avoid them and
deal with them are skills for life.
213
A good speaker can entertain, inspire and persuade.
A poor speaker sends people to sleep. A few simple
presentation skills can dramatically improve both
formal speaking and social conversation.
Think before you speak
speak with
impact
First organise your thoughts in your mind, and the
words will follow.
Get to the point
Unless you’re an expert story teller, rambling with too
many details is a turn-off for most people. Make your
main points early and you’ll keep people interested.
Slow down
Many people talk too quickly, too quietly or without
stopping. Pronounce each word, and remember the
power of pauses.
Read your audience
Sometimes we mistake politeness for interest.
Just because they look like they’re listening doesn’t
mean they are. Are you really getting through?
215
Learning new words can enrich your life and the lives of
others. Words give you the freedom to express new
feelings and different ideas.
have a way
with words
The best way to get more word power is to read more.
The more challenging the material the more you’ll build
your vocabulary.
When you read, have a dictionary or thesaurus nearby.
Every time you discover an unfamiliar word look it up,
write it down, then use it in conversation.
They don’t have to be long words. In fact, simple words
usually work best.
Words build bridges. The more diverse your vocabulary
the more you’ll be able to connect with others.
217
Investing your skills and experience into other people’s
lives is rewarding, fulfilling and helps you grow.
Even if you’re not a professional teacher or a parent,
you may still have something to teach.
teach
Perhaps you have a special talent like cooking, sport
or music that you could be sharing with others.
Maybe you could teach your language to foreigners,
or help less privileged people learn basic life skills.
Teaching is one of the best ways to sharpen your own
knowledge, and to become a better communicator.
You’ll learn more about others and more about yourself.
Without teachers the world would stay still.
219
Snakes, lizards and most other reptiles shed their skin so
they can grow.
Once the old skin is shed, new, healthier skin appears and a
fresh stage of growth can begin. This cycle of shedding and
growth lasts a lifetime.
shed a skin
The snake’s ability to change and renew itself led the ancient
Greeks to regard it as a symbol of healing and health.
People also need to shed a skin in order to grow. That skin is
often the skin of their past. Clinging to past sorrow and
bitterness restricts the natural cycle of change and growth.
Regret, hatred and blame must be shed from your life so you
can move on. Visualise past bitterness being discarded like
old skin, or consider getting professional guidance to help
you move forward again.
Letting go of the past creates space for new health, spiritual
growth and fresh opportunities.
221
Society attaches a number to us and expects us to think
and behave like a person of that age. And we start to
believe it.
be age free
‘I would if I was younger; I’m too old to go back to school;
It’s too late for me to get in shape; I’m too old to find
someone; Not at my age.’ Rubbish!
Don’t let age be a barrier. Do what you want, no matter
how old you are. You can marry at 40, take up sport at
50 and change careers at 60.
And you can keep dancing at 80.
223
Every week people start courses, sign up for lessons and
join fitness clubs. They show up full of enthusiasm on the
first night, but one by one they drop out.
give it 30 days
It’s easy to show up for a day, or even for a week, but it
takes at least 30 days to cement a habit.
Whatever you’re trying to start: healthier eating, spending
less money, regular exercise or getting up earlier – give it a
chance by giving it a month.
The same goes for habits you want to break: negative
thinking, swearing, procrastinating or even biting your
nails. It’s that first month that makes or breaks you.
Don’t back off before the month’s up… or you’ll be back to
where you started.
225
Your journey toward making changes in your life is like
the journey you took as a child when you began to walk.
You can do it again.
Start gradually
remember
how you
learned
to walk
When you learned to walk you took it slowly until you found
your feet. You didn’t try walking around the whole house –
a few steps each time was enough.
By taking it gradually, within a month or two you’d made
it to the kitchen, the laundry, even up a stair or two.
Start any major change gradually too, and build it up gently
and consistently. Attempting too much too soon is a common
cause of giving up.
Keep trying
On your first attempt at walking you probably toppled over.
But you struggled up on your wobbly legs and tried again.
Some children take longer to walk than others, but there’s
never been a child who gave up. They all get it in the end,
because they all hang in there.
Start small and keep at it until your new change becomes
natural and enjoyable. After all, being happy is your
birthright.
227
A down-and-out boxing trainer managed a small stable
of talented young boxers. Year after year local promoters
promised him and his boxers fame, glory and money –
but never delivered.
make your
own luck
One day the trainer took matters into his own hands and
telephoned some overseas promoters. Three phone calls
later and he’d been offered lucrative international contests
for his boxers, eventually leading to a world title challenge.
Some may call him lucky, but that’s not really true. By
picking up the phone and making a few calls the trainer
made his own luck.
Lucky people make their own luck by creating their own
opportunities.
Make the calls and you make the luck. Make the
appointments and you make the luck. Make the contacts
and you make the luck.
Luck is not just a matter of chance. Anyone can make it.
229
Like boxing, there are times in life when you win and times
roll with the
punches
when you lose. And like boxing, nobody makes it through
without taking some hits along the way. Even the best of the
best have to take a few punches.
However, a good boxer learns to roll with the punches,
which lessens the force of the blows.
Roll with the punches in your own life by accepting that
occasional misfortune and disappointments are inevitable.
You are tougher than you think, so don’t let a setback
knock you out.
Next time life hits you with a good shot stand your ground,
smile, and say ‘Is that the best you can do?’
231
Take a look around and you’ll see that you already are
on the bright side of life.
celebrate
your life
You can read, but millions can’t. In some countries learning
to use a gun is more important than learning to read a book.
In other countries much of the population is too hungry
to read. One in four people worldwide are starving or
malnourished. Reading is the last thing on their mind.
It’s a miracle you’re even here. It was a trillion to one chance
your unique personality, intellect and soul ever got a start
on this spinning planet.
You already have so much, you already are so lucky.
Now make the most of it.
233
Risk free can be risky. There are times when not taking
chances can be riskier than taking them.
take a chance
You don’t need to parachute or swim with sharks, but
have the courage to take a chance when you feel it’s the
right thing to do.
Courageous people still feel fear, but they act in spite of it.
Whether you’re searching for a new job, meeting new
people or starting something new, risks are a necessary
and exciting part of life.
Take them, and grow.
235
Why reach the end of your life only to look back and
live your
dreams
discover you’ve lived someone else’s?
Many people choose careers their parents planned for
them, make decisions their partners want or even dress
in a certain way to please others.
However, when we try too hard to please others we lose
sight of our own dreams. You have been put on this earth
to provide a unique contribution that only you can bring.
Why play the role of an extra in someone else’s film?
Play a starring role in your own.
237
There is a fable in the martial arts about a young boy who
dreamed of becoming an expert. One day he travelled to a
far-away city to seek the advice of a martial arts master.
The boy asked how long it would take to become a great
martial artist. The master told him it would take five years.
find the way
The boy was disappointed, so he asked how long it would
take if he tried twice as hard. The master told him it would
take ten years.
This made the boy very sad, so he asked how long it would
take if he worked all day and through the nights. The master
told him it would take twenty years.
Tears began to swell in the boy’s eyes. He asked why was
it that the harder he tried to reach his dream the longer it
would take.
The master looked into his sad eyes and whispered some
words which changed the boy’s life.
With so much focus on your will, the master said, how will
you ever see the way? Be open to the way to reach your
dreams, said the master, and your dreams shall come true.
239
The human spirit was born to soar. It is not our destiny to be
grounded by hurt, disappointment or fear.
touch the sky
Some say they are scared. But soaring doesn’t take
extraordinary daring or willpower. The only daring we
need is the daring to stay open to the new thoughts, ways
and ideas that can empower our lives.
Just as the eagle cannot soar without first opening its wings,
the soul cannot soar without first opening its mind.
Openness will give you wings, while new inspiration will
keep them filled with endless breeze.
When we open our minds to the wonder of the world, it is
as though we are lifted to the top of a towering cliff, with
two strong wings and the world at our feet.
As we stand there, we remember that even an eagle must
take a first step before launching into the brilliant sky.
That step may be hesitant, shaky or even clumsy, but only
once it is taken can we touch the sky.
241