Belonging and Meaning
There is an innate need in our heart to identify with a group, both for
protection and for security, to discover and affirm our identity, and to
use the group to prove our worthiness and goodness, indeed, even to
prove that we are better than others.
The birth of a good society comes when people start to trust each
other, to share with each other, and to feel concerned for each other.
~ Jean Vanier – Becoming Human
Belonging
The experience of belonging is a deeply held desire of humans but one that is far too
infrequent in the chaotic times we live in.
This article attempts to explore various definitions of belonging in an attempt to
better understand how and why it is both important to people and to explore where
we might find belonging more often. I will begin with a general reflection on the topic
and conclude by sharing the results of the Tamarack Institute (which I direct)
survey. My hope is this reflection and survey will inspire you to think about your own
definition of belonging which you will share as a response to this blog.
General Reflection
Belonging is realized when there is a common bond and acts of mutual caring are
frequent between people. Mutual acts of caring create common meaning. There is an
interconnection and as one experiences caring they absorb this into their personal
identity which is easily associated with the group. This is my family, these are my
people, we are like family, this is my community are common ways we describe our
belonging.
Family is the most common source of belonging, not for everyone of course. But
family, extended family, has a common bond, history and is a natural place for
mutual acts of caring to occur. Identity often forged during childhood, is strongly
influenced by family. Family provides less a sense of belonging today as people often
live a long way away from each other. Family is less important for some people than
for others.
When you are a part of a trusting community over time, often a long time like a
church/service club/community centre, this can provide an environment of belonging
that evokes mutual acts of caring. Helping each other when you are sick, supporting
each other through celebrations and tragedies, knowing what is going on in each
others lives and caring and acting collectively.
In certain work places and especially when a groups work and sense of purpose of
it’s members merges – as in working for a cause together a type of mutuality and
belonging can be achieved. In the early days of groups like Greenpeace or religious
charities like the social catholic movement or Mennonite Central committee this
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typed of merged purpose continued deep acts and feeling of community and
belonging amongst the members.
Close friends and neighbours, who over time and through many experiences form a
bond of belonging. These are the type of bonds that are not easily broken by a
change in circumstance or a move to another city.
The cultural bonding amongst Immigrants who have integrated into a new country
and are reasonably settled provides a sense of common identity and promotes acts
of mutual caring, this is especially true refugees settled together in a new country.
Belonging according to the Encarta dictionary:

To be linked to somebody or a group or a place or time by relationship such
as birth, affection or membership. Such as being “born” into the family, or
the community of faith.

It might also be something that you classify yourself as or you are classified
as part of something by others– a class or a group – “I belong in this club,
these are my kind of people”. I am Jewish, Mennonite, Muslim or Canadian,
French, American.

That you feel like you are in the right place. To be accepted somewhere - to
be made to feel welcome in a place or a group. To be cared for and you
desire to reciprocate that caring.

A willingness to “lend”, or give your identity to a people or experience.

A feeling or a sense that, “I belong”, there is a flow between “the us” in this
place, a common knowing and as such a feeling of security – “I am home”.
The Tamarack Institute for Community Engagement Survey
Tamarack is a small institute that studies community building in Canada. (Learn
more at www.tamarackcommunity.ca) We have had conversations and engaged with
groups and individuals across Canada and internationally for many years on the topic
of community. The conversations tended to be about community issues: how to
reduce poverty, how to connect schools to their communities, or how to advocate for
fair wages or safe working conditions. In all of these really interesting conversations,
there was a question that hadn’t been asked outright: Why is community and
belonging important? We wanted to find the answer.
Tamarack asked 2,000 (subscribers to Eunoia) of their 7,000 members a series of 23
questions about community, two were specifically about belonging. Five hundred
people responded to the survey, a nearly 25% return. This in itself was remarkable
given that their past experience had shown a five to ten percent response rate on
questionnaires.
Summary Results
The question “What does belonging mean to you?” drew a strong consensus.
Respondents answered sixty-five percent of the time that it meant being a part of
something, or feeling included and connected. Forty-four percent of the time, they
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spoke to the emotional aspect of belonging: a feeling of acceptance, being valued
and “fitting in.”
When asked, “What does “belonging to community” mean to you?” fifty percent of
the time respondents shared that belonging to community meant some form of
connection, or being a part of a greater group. Somewhat less often (thirty-seven
percent of the time) people referred to the emotional bond that belonging to
community gave them. Community is a place where they feel accepted, safe, and
valued. Another fairly significant response (twenty-seven percent of the time)
highlighted an aspect of mutuality, in which people referred to helping others and
being helped themselves.
The following charts show more details.
What does belonging mean to you?
There was a strong consensus on this question that belonging means being a part of
something, feeling included and connected. 65% of the time respondents answered
in this way. The emotional aspect of belonging – the feeling of acceptance, being
valued and “fitting in” was given as an answer by 44% of the respondents. These
were the only two significant responses to this question.
Category
%
Being a part of/
included/
connected
Feeling of
acceptance/
being valued
65%
44%
Descriptive Examples



Being a part of something beyond myself
Belonging means the experience of connectedness
"Belonging" is something I do naturally, reflexively.
If I don't belong I don't hang around long.

Being at home - an assurance that one is accepted.
The "longing" bit in "belonging" sometimes puzzles
me... is it a longing for the ability to just "be"?
Being accepted, being real, who you are without
fear of exclusion
When you belong you have a feeling of being
needed by others feel useful secure comfortable


Sense of
purpose/ similar
values in
common

6%



Recognition for
contribution/
skills
2%
Other
5%




Sharing/contributing to a cause with other like
minded individuals, working towards a common
goal
Sense of purpose, part of something bigger
Respect of ideas, shared interests/values, inclusion,
compassion, shared passion
Having others recognize my strengthens and value
them
A feeling of contributing to a group and that the
contribution is recognized.
Identity
Ownership
Community
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What does “belonging to community” mean to you?
Fifty percent of the time respondents shared that, belonging to community meant
some form of connection, being a part of something. Somewhat fewer people (37%
of the time) referred to the emotional bond that belonging to community can give
you – a place where you are accepted, safe, and valued. Another fairly significant
response (27% of the time) had an aspect of mutuality in which people referred to
helping other and being helped themselves. Having things in common was the final
category. Naturally people feel more that they belong when they feel an affinity or
likeness with others around them.
Category
Being
Connected
%
53%
Descriptive Examples








Emotional
Bond
37%




Mutual
Benefit/Accoun 27%
tability



Having Things
in Common
23%


Other
1%

Not being alone, being part of a larger entity
Being part of a community
Being an active member of my community
Feeling a sense of connection with others
The feeling that we are part of a group, greater than our
family of origin.
Being part of a common purpose with a group of others
Acceptance and inclusion
More than just family, sense of place, safety, greater
than the sum of its parts, camaraderie, quality of life
My spot in the universe to be safe and accepted.
Having people care about you
Being accepted as a member, recognized as a member
and valued as a member
Sharing in the rewards and contributing to one another's
well-being
Knowing others, interested in the wellbeing of the
community, working for the good of the group
Knowing that you are a member of a community, that
you have a place in it where you contribute and also gain
and build your own resources through belonging in it
Sharing similar beliefs, respect for one another, showing
pride in what we have
Being part of a group of people who share something, like
an identity, a place, economic means (like money, etc.)
Both geographically in a place and spiritually in shared
values and perspectives
If a community includes me, I belong to it, I guess.
Although I don't like the idea that "belonging" implies
ownership. The community doesn't own me, nor I it.
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