Rachel Hornibrook
Comm 111
Mrs. Kelly’s Monster
Analysis
First of all, this article was beautifully written. Mrs. Kelly’s Monster by Jon Franklin is
an article that displays the best in writing technique and not just in journalism writing but in
creative, descriptive narrative writing as well. Franklin has many uses of repetition, similes,
metaphors, personification, time, descriptive detail and an excellent use of short sentences. I
learned that these are elements in writing that cannot be overstated.
The use of repetition in this article is paramount. He constantly makes reference to the
time and the, “steady pop, pop, popping,” of the heartbeat. He also uses repetition in sentences to
emphasize a point. For example, he writes, “Dr. Ducker works his tunnel ever deeper, gentle,
gentle, gentle as the touch of sterile cotton.” He writes gentle three times. This creates intensity
and compels the reader to continue reading.
Similes and metaphors are also extremely prevalent in this article. Franklin writes, “But
clearly these tangles veins, absent on the x-ray films but very real in Mrs. Kelly’s brain, are
tentacles of the monster.” This creates a very visual and real description of the veins. Again, the
intensity mounts with the connection being made to the monster.
Franklin uses personification as well to describe the monster and to make it more real.
For example, he writes, “Finally, in 1942, the malformation announced its presence…”
Malformations don’t ‘announce’ anything but this description makes the monster ever more real
and believable. In another sentence he writes, “The carotid twists and dances to the electronic
pop, pop, popping.” This gives the carotid human elements and makes it all the more illustrative
and convincing.
The use of time is also very important to this article. He mentions the exact time 17
different times. It starts at 6:30 a.m. and then ends at 1:43 p.m. This constant reminder of the
times develops the story and creates a new kind of intensity and suspense. It also gives the reader
the sense they he or she is really there, that they really have invested interest in this operation.
Descriptive detail is laced throughout they entire article. For example, Franklin writes,
“Blood spatters onto Dr. Ducker’s sterile paper booties.” This creates a very strong image in the
readers mind. Along with this description, Franklin uses alliterations. He writes, “… spreading a
tiny tunnel, millimeter by gentle millimeter, into the glistening gray.” He uses these alliterations
to make the sentences flow in a beautifully creative way.
Lastly, Franklin uses short sentences as his bread and butter, so to say. All throughout the
article are these very short sentences that are direct and entice the reader to continue reading. He
uses one word sentences, two word, three word sentences over and over again. These sentences
build the ever present intensity. Examples include, “The tension is electric,” “The neurosurgeon
freezes,” “The pliers retract,” and, “The clip withdraws.” Then the final sentence gives the most
important sentence of them all, “The monster won.” These short sentences are straightforward,
concise, concentrated and so compelling.