Running head: SUMMARY LOVE’S EXECUTIONER
A Summary of the Book:
Love’s Executioner & Other Tales of Psychotherapy
Dana Flanigan
St. Bonaventure University
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SUMMARY LOVE’S EXECUTIONER
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Somebody once said that there is nothing better than the real thing. That notion rains true
in the book “Love’s Executioner,” by Irvin Yalom. Inside this book, Yalom unveils ten real
stories that he has experienced first hand in his work in the field of psychotherapy. Although
specifics were altered to protect the identity of the individuals, the real nature of each case gives
it the potential to benefit aspiring members of all facets of the helping profession. Especially
with the credentials that Yalom possesses; Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry at Stanford
University, he lives and practices psychotherapy in California, and he has written numerous
textbooks as well as countless other books such as “Love’s Executioner” which will be discussed
further. Three questions will be answered in the paragraphs that follow. First, what is the
common theme running through each of the stories and what is the central point the author is
trying to make regarding the therapeutic enterprise. Second, which theory or theories does the
author use in his narration of the cases, providing examples as evidence. Third, I will explain
how the book affected me in terms of; my understanding of counseling, what I learned from
Yalom’s position on the counseling relationship and sis it change my view, and would I go to
Yalom for counseling adding text citations to convey why or why not.
Upon concluding the last of the ten stories, the thread that had run through each of the
cases was extremely clear. However, putting it into words sometimes does not come natural in
these contexts. Luckily, there is statement on page five in the prologue by Yalom that conveys it
perfectly, “I have found that four givens are particularly relevant to psychotherapy: the
inevitably of death for each of us and for those we love; the freedom to make our lives as we
will; our ultimate aloneness; and, finally, the absence of any obvious meaning or sense of life.
However grim these givens may seem, they contain the seeds of wisdom and redemption. I hope
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to demonstrate, in these ten tales of psychotherapy, that it is possible to confront the truths of
existence and harness their power in the service of personal change and growth.”
The four givens were clearly seen throughout the ten stories that are comprised in
Yalom’s book. The first story was extremely interesting as it seemed to set the tone for the rest
of the book. Yalom made his stance clear on his opinions of love. However, he took on the
client anyway. The client was a seventy year old woman that had been in disarray for almost a
decade; since she had engaged in an affair with her therapist. As this therapeutic relationship
unfolded it, the power of existential counseling shined its light. Yalom seemed consistent in his
approach, but there was another side to this scenario. In theory, the woman suffered from this
obsession that she was holding on to; that much was obvious. However, if it were something
that consumed so much of her life, would it not leave an enormous void? Yalom was skilled at
removing the obsession, although the old woman seemed to be left with nothing. This scenario
was much different in many of the other cases, especially case two.
In case two, “If Rape were Legal,” Yalom was attending to a terminally ill patient who
was confronting his mortality through sexual imagery. After alienating himself, proclaiming the
positives of rape, Yalom requests ‘Carlos’ in hopes of turning around his twisted views. The
interaction between the two men was quite interesting. Yalom was able to see a few holes in the
statements Carlos was making, and eventually turn the tables on him. It was truly remarkable to
see such an estranged individual, make such a drastic change. Carlos was able to rejoin the
group, and make true friendships with men and women in the final months of his life. Yalom
was confident that he could help when he brought in Carlos; a confidence that he maintained
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throughout the time he worked with him. This comfort was much different in the third case in
Loves Executioner.
In the third case, Yalom was extremely uncomfortable when treating an obese woman
named Betty. Yalom did good explaining his resistance for treating a client like Betty.
Apparently, Yalom grew up hating fat kids, as a way to project his anger on to someone. An
anger that he had built out of the resentments created from all of the people that treated him
badly because he was white and Jewish. This case was educational for anyone in the helping
profession; everyone has a past, even if you are a counselor. Yalom was able to work through
his issue and treat the obese woman. Betty was able to get over her depression and lose over a
hundred pounds. This case went well with the other nine in displaying the core theoretical
approach.
It was clear in reading the prologue that Yalom was an existentialist. However, it is the
ten cases that make these claims come to life, metaphorically. Yalom displays his existentialist
persona in the way he thinks about his clients, in the techniques he uses to assist his clients, and
the overall way that he approaches his clients. Each of the four givens mentioned previously are
seen at the core of everything Yalom did when working with these ten patients. Although some
of these patients shared some similar facets, each brought a unique case to the office of Dr.
Yalom. Regardless of how distinctive the case was; Yalom handled each with an extremely
consistent philosophy. In each case, Yalom unveiled that their problems were merely common
problems of everyday life that were surface issues for underlying existence troubles.
Prior to reading this book, I would have never thought of using an existentialist style. At
times it is hard to understand some of the approaches by reading about it in a text book. It was
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interesting to compare the style case by case to see how Yalom set his approach into motion. I
think the thing that was most appealing from an aspiring counselor’s perspective was the
consistency of the approach. Yalom seemed to handle each case the same way, and he was
effective in every one of them. Personally, I would definitely go to Yalom to provide me
counseling. Many of the things I struggle with day to day would be music to the ears of an
existentialist counselor. There were many instances in Yalom’s book that stuck out to me and
made me impressed by his style.
I was mostly affected by his work with Carlos. In many ways, I felt like I could
completely relate to Carlos situation. Let me explain, I am not dying and I do not wish rape was
legal; but there are some circumstances to his story that I was directly affected by. There have
been many situations that made me feel uneasy in the past. Each time, my first impulse was to
isolate and alienate myself. Due to my uncertainties and insecurities, I decided to project my
internal struggles on others, before they had a chance to do it to me. I was able to do this by
using humor and sarcasm; however Carlos took a little bit different of an approach.
Yalom took a bold approach when he brought Carlos’s daughter into the scenario. It was
amazing watching the apparent heartless man crumble at the seams. If I ever decide to use an
existential approach, I may be timid toward using such a brash approach at first. It was clear that
with the way Carlos was presenting himself to people, an approach like the one used by Yalom
was really the only one that may have worked. It also affected me when I saw the way in which
Carlos responded and the actions that followed. Although he passed on, he was able to
accomplish some great things in his own life before that transpired. In many way it may me
wonder what I wanted to accomplish before I die.
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In conclusion, this was a right book for the right time. I was trying to find my niche in
this profession since starting the program. I was trying to mold my style based off of all the
theories. It was not until reading this book, when I could finally just craft an approach to my
normal philosophies. For years now, I have had the mentality of an existentialist; although I had
no Idea what one was. In this book, Yalom made it look so easy and consistent to apply the
existential approach to many different types of cases. Although I am aware that it will not be
that simple for me, at least now I have something to build off of. Thank you Allen Weber!