Skit: Witches on Emeril Live (Script)
Props: pot, cup, apron, scale, ingredients, pillow
Characters:
Molly: Emeril and Fat Guy.
Lynn: Witch 1(Maggie)
Haley: Witch 2(Aggie)
Emeril: Today on Emeril Live we will be stirring up a secret potion. We have 2
special guests today. The two witches from Scotland; Maggie and Aggie.
Maggie: Thank you for having us Emeril.
Aggie: Hello Emeril. Hello Ladies and Gentleman. We are here today to make a
secret potion.
Emeril: This potion will make you loose weight.
Aggie: Couldn’t we make one that could kill Macbeth?
Emeril: No, we can’t. So lets mix up this potion!
Maggie: First we need a blender. Fill the blender half full with blood from the
King.
Emeril: Puts in the liquid. Ooh!
Aggie: Next we need a hair from Lady Macbeth’s head.
Emeril: puts it in the blender. BAM!
Aggie: Armpit hair from a dragon, a dragon that could easily kill Macbeth!
Emeril: sprinkles hair into the blender
Maggie: now add Burnam Wood.
Emeril: BAM!
Aggie: a booger from Macduff.
Emeril: flicks booger into blender. BAM!
Maggie: a hairball from a squirrel
Emeril: throws in hairball.
Aggie: and finally, Macbeth’s head. Now it’s a long story of how we got this. So
after he was killed by Macduff, we snuck into Malcolm’s place and in order to
(Emeril interrupts.)
Emeril: okay, ENOUGH! Throws in the head. And…BAM!
Maggie: Now blend it together, and let it cool for 5 minutes. Then, just pour and
drink up!
PAUSE…
Aggie: Now, were going to choose a member of the audience to try this product.
Fat Guy: Me! Me! Pick Me!
Aggie: You Sir! Come on up here.
Fat Guy: YES!!!!!
Maggie: Now step on the scale.
Fat guy: gets on scale, looks uncomfortable.
Maggie: …450 lbs.
Fat Guy: Aww Man.
Aggie: now sir, take a sip of this potion.
Fat guy: well…okay. Gulps it down very fast. Yummy (disgusted look on face)
Maggie: Step on the scale one more time Sir.
Fat guy: closes his eyes. I don’t want to look.
Aggie: Wow. 200 lbs. Look at that!
Fat Guy: Holy Big Mac! Thank you! Thank you! Takes his seat
Aggie: See that folks, now we have more recipies, curses, spells and more! You
have seen what we they have done to this man, and Macbeth so try our product
today! These are very powerful and you cant undo what you have done so be
wise!
Emeril: Well you don’t see that every day. Thank you all for showing up today.
Let’s give a round of applause for Maggie and Aggie the two wonderful witches.
*Clapping* If you are interested in purchasing this product or the witch’s recipe
book, please call 1-800-WITCH. Or visit our website, www.witchesrecipies.org