Volunteer Befriender Home Learning Pack
Volunteer name___________________________Date______
Welcome to Age UK Barnet.
It is our policy that all befrienders have training to equip them to carry out their role
successfully and enjoyably. A Befriender sometimes joins us in-between training sessions
but is keen to get going, so we have developed this self-study pack to prepare you for the
role.
You will still be expected to attend any follow-up training or a one-to-one support session.
We would not consider matching you with a client unless you have agreed to some training
and supervision, but this pack will help you consider some of the issues around
befriending and will hopefully help you decide if befriending is for you.
Included in this pack are worksheets that you need to return to your co-ordinator and they
will be the basis for any follow-up training or one-to-one session. Please do not worry if
you do not know any of the answers; this is not a test nor are the questions set to trip you
up. We want to make sure you know what is expected of you.
We hope you enjoy working through this pack and please do not hesitate to contact us if
you have any difficulty or there is anything you don’t understand.
Aims of completing this pack
When you have completed this pack and had a follow-up meeting with the co-ordinator you
will have:
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an understanding of who funds and refers to the Befriending Service;
identified the client’s needs and the expected outcomes from befriending;
discussed the skills you will bring to the role;
defined the boundaries of your role as a Befriender;
explored situations that may arise in the befriending relationship; and
formulated a checklist for getting support.
Age UK Barnet Befriending Service
“Befriending is the simple act of giving your time to someone who needs support and
friendship, to be someone they know is there for them without expecting payment or a
return of favour.”
We have probably all been befrienders at some time in our life on an informal level;
keeping an eye on an elderly relative, collecting a friend’s children from school with our
own or popping in to see a lonely neighbour. Your role with us is a bit different though –
you are doing this voluntarily, giving of your time freely and without strings, but the route to
befriending is slightly more complicated than the informal act of being a good neighbour,
befriending in this case is a service.
Through this pack you are going to look more closely at the Befriending Service and the
role that you as a Befriender will play and your responsibilities towards the client and the
organisation.
Befriending is a relationship between two individuals which is initiated,
supported and monitored by an agency.
The Befriending Service was launched in December 2008 and so is still very new. It aims
to cover the whole of Barnet but primarily concentrates on the individuals and postcodes
not covered by similar services. Of the 15 Barnet postcodes only five currently have a
Good Neighbourhood Scheme, a similar service to ours. In addition, there are
organisations such as Mind and Jewish Care who serve specialised groups. Age UK
Barnet works in co-operation with these groups; exchanging referrals, training and
information.
The service currently has 62 matches and hopes to have 75 by the end of this year. The
service is funded by Friern Barnet Voluntary for the Elderly.
Please see the PowerPoint notes on General Induction for more details of our service.
Please complete the following Befriending Questionnaire and return to your co-ordinator
I would like to help an isolated client because:
I could help an elderly client by:
Please briefly explain why you have decided to become involved with befriending:
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Do you have any special preferences or needs with regard to the client you would wish to
befriend? (please tick where appropriate)
Non-smoker
Close to home
Near convenient public transport
Disabled Access
Prefer male/female
Animal lover
Any others? (please detail below)
I am not sure if I could cope if the person (please tick where appropriate):
is gay/lesbian
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has a drug or alcohol problem

is terminally ill
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has a memory problem

has an animal

has a severe disability
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has a mental health problem
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has a problem that is too close to home for me, for
example, a recent bereavement, similar illness

Other (please detail below)
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Funders
All funders will want an outcome from the Befriending Service and, although sometimes
befriending projects are funded by various grants and trusts, they will have criteria that
they want the project to fulfil.
What do you think the criteria of the funders could be?
(please tick those you think matter to the funders)

Prevent isolation
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Promote social inclusion
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Improve independence
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Improve health
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Improve family life
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Other (please detail below)
Referrers
Who do you think refers clients to this project? (please tick as appropriate)

Social Services
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Health visitors
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Doctors
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Relatives
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Other (please detail below)
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Case Study – Ethel
Ethel is a lady of 79 who lives alone since the death of her husband two years ago. Her
health visitor has become worried about Ethel as she seems depressed. She sees very
little of her son and daughter who live some distance away. She seems able to cope on
her own and has home help but has lost some of her sparkle and her loss of some mobility
has isolated her and she does not go out as much.
The health visitor has referred her to the Befriending Service via her Care Manager at
Social Services. Ethel has agreed and seems quite keen on the idea.
Case Study - Arthur
Arthur is 71, married and lives at home with his wife Doris. He is in poor health and has
also suffered with mental illness. Doris finds caring for him difficult, especially as he has
periods of depression and is at times very morose, but the couple are devoted and want to
remain together in their own home. Befriending has been recommended, although Arthur
is unsure.
Case Study - Joyce
Joyce is 69 and her sight is failing. There have been concerns that this will impair her
ability to look after herself and may mean her going into care or sheltered housing. Joyce
has always been very independent and is strongly opposed to this, although her family are
urging her to go. Her Care Manager feels that this move could be prevented if a package
of help was put in place and she has recommended befriending as part of that package.
Funders expectations
Whoever funds the project will have expectations and a clear idea of what they want the
funding to achieve.
Answer the following question, choosing two from the above case studies:
What are the funders’ expectations for this Case Study?
befriending will achieve?
Case Study Name _______________
Case Study Name __________________
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What do they hope
Client expectations
The client will have had to agree to the befriending taking place, but what do they expect
from this service?
Choosing two from the example case studies, answer the following question:

What does the client expect from the service?
Case Study Name ______________
Case Study Name ______________
Your expectations
You have probably got some idea of what you would hope to achieve by befriending a
client on this project.
Choosing two from the example case studies, answer the following question:

What would you, as a Befriender, expect to achieve for the client?
Case Study Name ______________
Case Study Name ______________
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Benefits
What in general do you think the benefits of befriending a client would be?
Skills
Which skills do you feel you will bring to the role of Volunteer Befriender?
(please tick as appropriate)

Listening skills
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Empathy with the client’s situation (perhaps a family
member or acquaintance has been in a similar situation
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Experience of helping people
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Advocacy skills
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Non-judgemental of client or client’s family
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Interest in client group
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Encouraging
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Reliable
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Dependable
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Consistent
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Other skills (please detail below)
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Reasons
Why did you decide you would like to become a Volunteer Befriender with Age UK Barnet?
(please tick as appropriate)

Have experience as have been in a similar situation

It seemed like a good idea from the flyer

I need the experience on my CV
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I am at a loose end and want to do something
worthwhile
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Not sure
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Other reasons (please detail below)
Boundaries
Most relationships (be it marriage, friendship or work) have boundaries – lines you will not
cross, things you will not do. These boundaries help to keep the relationship safe and
comfortable. The boundaries are very important in a befriending relationship. You need to
keep yourself and the client safe and emotionally intact. It can be very easy to get sucked
into a situation that can damage you, the client or the organisation.
Some boundaries are set by the law or good practice. Others are a matter of choice and
circumstance. These choices however need to be clearly stated and understood by all
parties (organisation, volunteer and client) so neither feels under pressure to do something
they do not want to or let down because their expectations have not been met.
When we introduce you to a client we talk about what you will do together. You might not
feel comfortable taking them outside their home or helping them with shopping. You may
not have a car and can only come at specific times. The client may be housebound or
have very definite ideas about what they want from a Befriender. If by mutual consent you
and your client decide to extend the things you do together it is very important that we are
kept informed.
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You are going to look at some of the things a Befriender can or cannot do. Please read
the following statements and note the most appropriate answer, i.e. agree, disagree or
don’t know. (please add any other statements that you feel apply)
Agree/Disagree/Don’t know
A Befriender:
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can give medication

can lend the client or family money
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can borrow money from the client
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can refer the client to other agencies or services

can help the client organise their finances

can accept gifts from the client
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can go out socially with the client
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can have a key to the client’s house
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can give a client advice on life changes
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can do odd jobs for the client for payment

can accompany a client shopping or to
appointments
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can spot changes in a client’s situation/health and
alert the appropriate agencies

can become a Power of Attorney for handling
client’s finances
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can witness a client’s Will
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can stay at the client’s house
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can alert Social Services to worrying situations
within the client’s family
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can tell a client’s family how to deal with problems
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always knows best.
Any other statements:-
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What if….
When you are befriending there may be times when something happens and you think:
Now what? How do I deal with this?
Read the “Guidance Notes for Befriending Volunteers” and the situations below.
Pick three of the situations and write briefly how you would deal with each of your choices.
Situation 1
A Befriender arrives at her client’s address. Mavis is an elderly lady living alone. As
Mavis opens the door she collapses.
What does the Befriender do?
Situation 2
The Befriender finds a note from a family member asking that you telephone them as they
want to discuss their dad’s health. When you phone it turns out they feel he should be in
care and want you to start suggesting this as the best course for him.
What does the Befriender do?
Situation 3
You befriend a gentleman who has dementia and is cared for by his wife and son. You
strongly suspect that the gentleman is being physically mistreated.
What, as the Befriender, do you do?
Situation 4
A Befriender arrives at the client’s house and there is no answer. This is really unusual as
the client is normally looking through the window and is at the door before the Befriender.
What does the Befriender do?
Situation 5
You notice your client seems to be getting muddled and forgets things. You are worried
and speak to her about this. She bursts into tears, saying she thinks she has dementia
and begs you not to mention it to anyone as she is frightened of being taken into care.
What, as the Befriender, do you do?
Situation _______
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Situation _______
Situation _______
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Worries
There may be things that are on your mind, things that are worrying you about befriending.
Read the following list of worries. Tick any that could apply to you and add any others you
can think of.
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I would be concerned if they are alright when I am not there.
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Sometimes I may think about them and worry how they are.
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I would worry about what I might find when I arrive.
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I would worry if they did not seem to be eating very well and would wonder
if this was a sign of illness or, for example, they have financial problems.
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I would worry if they seemed to be losing interest in their personal care. If
so, this may isolate them from friends and acquaintances.
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I would worry that I wasn’t helping enough.
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I would worry if they seemed not to be enjoying my company.
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I would worry that I wasn’t making enough of a difference.
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I would worry if they seemed really unhappy or depressed.
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If they asked me for advice I would worry that I was not getting it right.
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I would worry that I might get too involved, not be able to switch off.
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Other worries (please detail below)
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Client Information Sheet
When a match is agreed you will be provided with personal information about a client and
the contact details of those who support them. You should always take this sheet with you
when you visit them and keep it somewhere safe when you are not visiting. If it is lost
please let your co-ordinator know as soon as possible.
Reporting
Age UK Barnet requires every community volunteer to fill in and return a monthly report
form letting us know when they have visited their client and briefly what they did together
and how things went. A copy of this form will be emailed to those with a computer so you
can save each month’s report as a diary for you to keep. Those with no internet access
will be sent forms and stamped addressed envelopes.
Next Steps
Thank you for completing this Home Learning Pack and we hope it has helped you focus
on the befriending role. The pack is to be used in conjunction with the rest of your
induction training and some of you will have completed most of it at a training session.
When you have returned the sheets to the co-ordinator they will contact you to meet up
and go over your responses. It may be helpful to take a few minutes to jot down any
questions you have while they are fresh in your mind. You can also make any comments
about this pack – this will help us to ensure it is continually improved.
Thank you
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