Your Blind Spots: Know Thyself!
Mac Hart, Ph.D.
Where are your blind spots? Like it or not, we've all got them! What are
you doing or not doing that is detracting from your effectiveness on the
job? At home? In relationships with friends? What do your supervisors,
peers, direct reports, and/or friends observe in you that you are totally
unaware of?
No idea? Why not? Perhaps you shy away from asking them for feedback
on a regular basis. Maybe you're one of those people who waits for others
to give you feedback. After all, isn't it their responsibility to speak up and
say something to you when there is a problem or concern of some kind?
Perhaps. But, the truth is -- people are very reluctant to volunteer their
feedback, especially when the information is negative or corrective in
nature. Have you considered pursuing some feedback more directly?
Any boss or supervisor will tell you that the least desirable, most difficult part of
his/her job is giving the employer negative feedback about some aspect of his
performance. Confronting a coworker (peer, boss, or direct report) is unpleasant at best.
Those with high-level interpersonal skills do it effectively, when necessary, but nobody
likes the task.
Some years ago, I worked as a senior psychologist in a large community mental
health center. I couldn't help noticing that those employees who were experiencing
serious job performance problems had nearly always been unwilling to ask others for
help or feedback along the way. So, they floundered and failed- often losing their jobs in
the process- rather than admitting or exploring the notion that a skill deficit or personality
trait might be interfering. How sad and ironic that at a human service agency with a
“helping” philosophy, an employee's excessive pride, defensiveness, or know-it-all
attitude could have such destructive consequences. I saw this dynamic occur repeatedly
with unit administrators, clinical staff, and clerical workers alike- when people resisted
Work Place Examples: Blind Spots and Self-Defeating Behaviors
Each one of us has blind spots- gaps in our self-knowledge. less conscious truths
about how we operate. A blind spot may involve being unaware of: a particular skill or
skill deficit that one exhibits, self-centeredness, aloofness or hostility towards others, an
area of emotional sensitivity, or perhaps some dysfunctional family dynamic that gets
played out repeatedly with other people. Unidentified blind spots can ruin a career!
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Other impediments to self-knowledge occur when officers exhibit attitudes of
arrogance or interpersonal defensiveness. These types of roadblocks to helpful feedback
may not involve blind spots, but perhaps rigid interpersonal styles that reduce the
likelihood that (1) the person will ask others for help or (2) that others around him will be
willing to risk offering sincere feedback to this close-minded co-worker.
Consider the following situations:
Mark is a 26 year old insurance salesman. He has been married for three years and is
ready to start a family. Mark has always wanted to work The Hartford Insurance Group
and beams with pride as he talks about his dream-come-true career. There is some
difficulty at home, however, that nobody knows about. He and his wife have terrible
arguments and on several occasions it's become physical. But, instead of talking to his
supervisor or asking for help through the employee assistance program, Mark has decided
that he can handle things on his own. Big mistake! He is jeopardizing both his marriage
and his sales career. His excessive pride and self-sufficiency are getting in the way.
Sam is a newly-promoted supervisor at work. This was his second to earn the promotion,
so he was pleased and much relieved to have finally made it to the next level. He was
assigned to a new work group and after one month on the job was settling into the routine
fairly well. Sam has started to notice, however, that the employees who he now
supervises appear to be fairly tense and uncomfortable in his presence. He has been told
in the past that he can come across as critical and judgmental. “Could that be happening
with my new direct reports?”, he wonders. “Am I talking to my people in a way that is
shutting them down?” Instead of asking his direct reports for some feedback, Sam
decides that it's not his problem if people view him as tough and demanding. After all,
he's got a job to do. As time goes on, Sam acquires the reputation of being an arrogant
and closed-minded supervisor. People transfer off of his tea, as soon as possible, and
warn others to stay away. Sam's defensiveness keeps him from learning the truth about
himself and will surely continue to hinder his leadership effectiveness.
Captain Bishop is a 20-year veteran of a large and progressive law enforcement agency.
By all accounts, he is a star-possessing all the skills, talents, and aptitudes to be a top cop.
The men and women working under him love and respect their boss and his leadership
approach. Since making captain 18 months ago, Captain Bishop has been functioning as a
member of the command staff and attending weekly administrative meetings with the
chief and the other brass. The management team has been working on a mass
reorganization project for months now, but recently the captain started noticing that none
of his ideas, suggestions, or points-of-view are being taken seriously by the other
members of the team. Captain Bishop was perplexed and a bit annoyed. He debated with
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himself about whether to keep these feelings private, and accept his peripheral position in
the group, or to share his concerns with some people he trusted. To his credit, Captain
Bishop spoke privately with two other captains and a police major who were fellow
members on the management team. The Captain needed some honest feedback and he
knew it! So, instead of complaining about how he was feeling treated, he skillfully
presented his concerns to each of his coworkers in the following fashion:
“In the past few months, at our weekly command staff meetings, it seems like most
of what I've offered has been ignored or discounted. I've always thought of myself as
a team player, but lately I feel as if I'm sitting on the bench in the dugout. I guess
I'm wondering if there is something that I've been doing at our meetings that is
getting in the way or detracting from my effectiveness. Would you be willing to tell
me what you're observing about me and my behavior in our command staff
meetings?”
Captain Bishop was stunned by what he learned! In his individual conversations
with the two captains and the major, each pointed out that it was he (Captain Bishop)
who had been difficult to work with in recent months. In discussing the departmental
reorganization, he had been so focused on specific details that he wasn't seeing the forest
for the trees- to the utter frustration of everyone else in the room. Furthermore, whenever
the police chief or one of the majors spoke up, Captain Bishop seemed to bristle
competitively and to reject their opinions. He was not operating as a team player. With
some soul-searching the Captain realized that his coworkers were right. In truth he
had always had difficulty with authority figures (beginning with his father years before)
and for some reason this dynamic was playing out at the command staff meetings.
Captain Bishop appreciated the honest feedback and immediately started to make some
conscious changes in his own behavior. This willingness to learn about one's blind spots
and to make corrections where necessary is one benchmark of an excellent leader.
As you can see from the examples above, it is easy for people to get into trouble
when they are unwilling to ask for help. Only Captain Bishop demonstrated the courage
and good sense to ask for some feedback from friends and associates when he sensed that
things were not going well. Both Mark and Sam took a more defensive posture, reflective
of excessive pride and arrogance, thereby insuring that their blind spots would follow
them.
Self Knowledge
Lombardo and Eichinger (For Your Improvement: A Developmental And Coaching
Guide, 1996) make a compelling case for the importance of self-knowledge:
“Self knowledge is strongly related to success in life and work. In one study, the best
predictor of a high performance appraisal was seeing yourself as others see you; the
best predictor of a low one was overrating your skills” … “A blind spot is the worst
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thing you can have. You can really get into performance or career trouble with a
blind spot, because you don't know or are unwilling to admit you're not good at it.
You will venture into areas that should make you cautious and humble, but you go
in strutting and confident. Disaster soon follows. An important life and career goal
is to have no blind spots” (p.328).
The authors suggest that when people take the time to understand their personal
weaknesses they can successfully “loop around” and compensate for these shortcomings.
It is imperative that we really know what we are “good”, “average”, and “bad” at doing,
if we hope to navigate life and work successfully.
Some Remedies for Blind Spots:
In their chapter on “Self Knowledge” (p.328-331) Lombardo and Eichinger
discuss some important strategies for obtaining feedback. Several of their key ideas are
paraphrased and elaborated below.
Get Feedback. Generally speaking, you need to ask for feedback to receive it. Most
people are hesitant to give you feedback, especially negative reviews, unless you make it
very clear that you are open and motivated to receive it. They may avoid you or talk
behind your back, but unless the co-worker is unusually assertive he or she is unlikely to
easily bring a problem behavior to your attention. However, when we are willing to ask
others to give us the “bad news”, their respect for us often increases and the feedback
offered is likely to be more valid and useful. Since people are reluctant to give criticism,
you can ease the process by making a “self appraisal statement” first, then asking for their
input-instead of asking them open-ended questions which offer no hints about your areas
of concern. Instead of asking a friend, “How do you perceive me relating to others in our
weekly staff meetings?”, you may want to say offer more information by saying, “Lately
in our weekly staff meetings, I've gotten the feeling that I may not be expressing
myself very well. How do you perceive me?”
Confidential Feedback. When the person giving you feedback knows that the results
will be public, your scores will be excessively positive and generally less accurate. So, if
you want more reliable and accurate feedback, it's important to pursue private discussions
with those who may possess important information. Paper-and-pencil tests, such as
Benchmarks offer a means of obtaining private 360° feedback from your boss, superiors,
peers, and direct reports. This would involve enlisting the help of a professional
facilitator, certified in 360° instruments who could help you accurately interpret your
feedback scores.
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Seek Feedback From More Than One Source. Lombardo and Eichinger correctly
suggest that “Different types of raters are likely to know more about and be more
accurate about different competencies (p.329). So, when you receive a piece of feedback,
it's important to ask yourself : “Is this person in a good position to really know that about
me?”
Specific skill areas and competencies best known to each coworker type:
Bosses usually include: strategic grasp, selling up skills, comfort around higher
management, presentation of problems, solutions, clarity of thinking, team building,
confronting and sizing up people skills.
Customers generally know about responsiveness, listening, quality orientation, problemsolving skills, understanding of their business needs, persuasiveness.
Peers know persuasion, selling, negotiation, listening to find common cause, keeping the
interests of the organization in mind, follow-through on promises, and how well you
maintain give and take in 50-50 relationships.
Direct Reports are best at the day to day behavior of leadership, management, team
building, delegation, confronting, approachability, time use.” (p. 329)
Work To Get Continuous Feedback; Don't Wait For Annual Feedback Events. As I
suggested earlier, if you passively wait for others to take the initiative in offering you
feedback, you are likely to receive too little too late to adequately address and correct a
problem that may have been developing (and apparent to everyone else) for a long time.
This is what happened with Sam, our supervisor, in the scenario on p.2. He failed to ask
others for feedback and soon became a “leader” who was despised and avoided.
Lombardo and Eichinger advise seeking continuous feedback in the following ways:
Identify specific areas of concern and ask people to give you anonymous written
feedback. This is easily accomplished by constructing a checklist of behaviors and asking
each respondent to indicate which things they would like for you to “keep doing”, “start
doing”, and “stop doing.”
●
Collaborate with a mentor, or developmental partner. Take the time to establish a
relationship with a trusted friend or co-worker who knows what goals you're working on
and is willing to give you on-line feedback as you face new challenges. Often it is best to
choose a more experienced officer who is not a direct supervisor. This sometimes occurs
naturally organizations, but it's worth taking the time to find the right kind of individual
who will best meet your needs.
●
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Debrief Events. Ask others who watch you perform key job functions to provide you
with some immediate feedback. There is nothing quite as valuable as being able to
debrief an event or interaction moments after it has occurred. Field Training officers do
this routinely with recruits.
●
Some Final Thoughts
If people tend to view you as arrogant or defensive, you may have to work harder to get
accurate feedback. But, don't give up! Be willing to ask repeatedly. Over time, others
may start to experience you as sincere and open to input, and consequently they will
become more willing to offer it. At times, you will receive negative feedback from others
that you don't agree with and which may not be true at all. Take a deep breath or two, and
resist becoming defensive or reactive. Remember, the perceptions of others are hard-core
facts to them. Instead, really try to (1) practice the rules of good listening and (2) initially
accept all feedback as accurate-even when you know better. Then, instead of debating the
truth of their observations, show them through your future actions and behavior that their
perceptions are wrong.
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