Forty Things To Be

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The Secrets of Salty Sam
How you look at things determines what you see. You
can look at life as a chore or a challenge… your choice.
You can see other people’s differences or what we all
have in common just by what you magnify. You can view
yourself as being old or you can appreciate the youth on
the inside that outlasts the age on the outside. You can
conform and change the outside to what is not natural on
the inside. Or you can transform and change the inside to
what could only come from the outside. You can pine
over what you miss or be grateful for all you have. You
can sink in self-pity, or you can swim in opportunity. You can draw conclusions
before you know or you can believe the best until you see the rest. You can see
the man-made boundaries to keep out a world differences, or you can look back at
earth from space and see there are no boundaries, just the beauty of similarity.
You can look at the same thing the same way and get the same conclusion, or
you can borrow someone else’s view and see what you never saw before. You
can hurt or you can heal. You can give or you can steal. You can make life great
for others and realize how great life is in you. You can compliment all the good
then feel validated yourself. You can grow from what you don’t know or you can
mold with what you do know. You can see the world revolve around you or you
can explore the world around you. You can see life as a set of problems that
come over you or you can view life as an expedition ready for you to overcome.
You can get angry back or you can keep the joy within. You can surrender to
suspicion or you suspend judgment until you know. You can amplify the bad or
you can magnify the good. You can label another as jerk, or you can see them as
just different from you. Life is how you look at it.
Now, what about the crazy picture at the top? It is a little prize, or rather surprise
in a Cracker Jack box I got at a conference. See, Salty Sam on the left, was a
crusty old sailor. To see what he looked like when he was young, turn the picture
upside down. You don’t believe me? You’ll get a whole new view. We lose out
on half of life because of how we look (or don’t look) at it. So start today. Create
you own perspective of life by looking at it differently then choosing that which
brings out the greatness within.
Duke
The Top 10 Popcorn Thoughts part 1013
1. Out of proportion news is really a lie
2. Good thing about dashed plans: we get to create new ones.
3. Desperation makes things bigger than they are.
4. I’m the most popular person in the world….just nobody knows it.
5. It’s no use being the smartest man in the world…if you forget a lot
6. I’m an expert…of having thoughts I’ve never had before.
7. Confidence sees how it can. Reluctance sees how it can’t.
8. Choices have destinations…Bob Mumford
9. The destination of procrastination is poverty.
10. Stick to one argument at a time.
Anatomy of a Popcorn Thought
(different ways to pop it out)
What is your mental picture of your thinking?
 I love squeezing things out of my brain. It
seems to make room for more.
 I don’t think more than most; I just collect
more than most.
 Thinking deeper is going one layer deeper
than you thought you could.
Body: A smile is a hug without arms.
Bold: Just think. If you were committed, then you weren’t committed.
Cause and Effect: An incomplete purpose in life is the springboard to greater things.
Copy:…Don’t be known for what you don’t do. The difference between the creative and the
non-creative is the creative are better at hiding their sources.
Definition: Empty thoughts are just those not looking for anything.
Different States: Don’t trip over your feelings. Confidence that you can is a green light to try.
Disconnected / Senseless unless you think about it: Beauty is friend deep.
Get others to think: Having a need is not bad; a need having you is.
Goodness: When you are continually looking for the greater good, you don’t have time to squat
on the inconsequential.
Great Sayings: All men die; few men rarely live…Bravehart
There are millions of
Americans who are clever and fearless, but the trouble is they are only 4 years old…Suzanne
Gibson
Insight For Others: Some of us need to be healed of our opinion of ourselves.
Lessons you discovered: One cannot "out-think" a crisis.
Life: A heart in the habit of sharing expands to experience more of life.
Ouches: Don’t let what you do know get in the way of what you don’t.
Play on Words: Two attributes I don’t want: careless and care less. A changeless heart is
about as useless as a heartless change.
Polar: Insight is the outside you let in.
Rhyme: Integrity starts in the dark. The chains of shame are built with links of lies.
Shocking: No one has the right to stay offended.
Spiritual: You can’t do God’s part and He won’t do yours. Don’t believe it when you see it;
believe it until you see it. Leapfrog Thoughts: Time is the measuring cup of faith.
Success: It is not failure when you are not successful. It is a failure when you only can be
successful.
Technique:…To think differently, simply pull yourself off autopilot.
Thankaboutit: Another person’s weakness is usually your strength they don’t have.
Wisdom: My loss is my gain if I learn from it.
Witty: In downtown Houston, three lefts make a right.
R U Willing…to listen? (To not’s on reverse side)
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To honor the other person
To suspend assumptions
To destabilize personal certainties
To listen to your own listening
To inquire more and advocate less
To understand both poles
To be aware of the ecology of words
 To unfold previous beliefs to consider new
ones
Evaluating
Active Listening
R U Willing…to listen?
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(To’s on reverse side)
To not formulate thought while listening
To not reload while the other is speaking
To not drive toward solution or action
To not fill-in-the-blank with assumption
To not snap-back a response
To not elevate self 1 millimeter above the other
To not require the other to be like you
scale adapted from Gazda, Human Relations Development
1.0
Listener attends to neither content nor surface feelings. Discredits or scolds speaker.
Shows a lack of caring for or belief in speaker. Is vague or deals in general terms. Tries
to hide feelings and punishes speaker with them. Reveals nothing. Discloses only to meet
own needs. Ignores cues about the relationship.
2.0
Listener only partially attends to speaker. Distorts what speaker said. Declines to help or
responds casually. Gives cheap advice before understanding the situation. Follows a role
but is not congruent with own feelings. Non-verbally neutral. Offers opinions or asks
questions prematurely. Does not reveal self voluntarily, but will respond to questions.
Comments superficially on the relationship.
3.0
Listener reflects surface feelings accurately and does not distort content. Regards speaker
as person of worth, capable of expressing and acting constructively. Non verbally
attentive and interested. Openly caring. Notes specifics (but not the trajectory) of
speaker’s actions. Not phony. Reveals own thoughts and feelings generally. Notes
discrepancies (but not where they lead). Discusses relationship generally.
4.0
Listener identifies underlying thoughts and feelings. Communicates dedication to speaker’s
welfare. Is intensely attentive. Models and solicits specificity. Shows congruence between
own feelings and behavior. Freely volunteers specific feelings, thoughts or experiences.
Clearly points out discrepancies and where they lead. Explicitly discusses the relationship
in immediate moment.
Quality Leadership, John W. Lovitt, Ed.D
10 Ways to Regard Regret
Duke Rohe [email protected]
I love learning lessons that save me pain by observing another. I’m more
objective when I don’t have to learn it just from me. I have a friend who has such
a high level of excellence, that when it isn’t achieved, she beats herself up over it.
It’s like taking yourself to the woodshed. There are better ways to learn. .Duke
1. Regret has a debt that could never be repaid.
For it could only be paid in the past.
2. Regret’s goal is to unring its bell.
So only regret about those things regret will fix.
3. Regret is personal penance for an opportunity missed.
Don’t worry; there will be other ones to miss.
4. Regret tries to cry its mistake back.
5. Regret frets over what others might think.
It’s real hard to control their thinking that way.
6. Regret tries to save its pride.
It’s our pride needs to go to the woodshed for thinking its inerrant.
7. Regret can be turned to good if it is a lesson understood.
That’s the real purpose of its sting anyway
8. Regret swindles away the energy needed for the future.
The future is easier to affect than the past.
9. Regret makes a bet that you can out-think its problem.
And it has yet to win a bet.
10. The antidote to regret is growing better because of it.
There is this word called ‘forgive’.
Forty Things To Be
Advice I would give to myself
Duke Rohe
1. Be beyond where you are.
2. Be the signature of your work.
3. Be notorious for bringing value.
4. Be a knowledge source for those seeking help.
5. Be accepting of differing views.
6. Be adamant about the stuff that counts.
7. Be willing to change yourself.
8. Be an animator in life.
9. Be open to what is not known -- so far.
10. Be aware of communication style.
11. Be more wise than wordy.
12. Be flexible on the non-essential, firm on the non negotiable.
13. Be appealing to the customer’s basic instinct.
14. Be aware of the value of your original equipment.
15. Be different.
16. Be up on what is coming.
17. Be better at change than your competition.
18. Be more hopeful than doubtful.
19. Be a variation watcher more than a mean watcher.
20. Be an originator of tools for others.
21. Be an example of efficiency.
22. Be in-line with the strategic goals.
23. Be a means for others’ success.
24. Be a bragger of that success.
25. Be a fun sponge.
26. Be a pro at what you do.
27. Be ethical, truthful.
28. Be ROI oriented.
29. Be prompt.
30. Be anti-arrogant.
31. Be positive is not just a blood type (gotcha).
32. Be a lighthouse of potential danger.
33. Be real.
34. Be outrageous in your thinking.
35. Be profoundly simple in your insight.
36. Be sharp, but not pointed.
37. Be the best in something.
38. Be available.
39. Be a mediocre eradicator.
40. Be so good they can’t do without you.
Giving
Giving is one of the best rewards you can give yourself. It is the
prerequisite for experiencing the fullness of living. We are creatures
designed for giving. Giving is a personal template from God. “For God so
loved the world He gave...” It is taking what you have and offering it to
another so that they may gain. Giving grows in its value depending on the
price paid to give it. It adds life to another. It is the wellspring that
blesses both the giver and the receiver. It has untold worth that
ripples through the lives of those touched by it. It is infectious. It
sparks the desire to do good for others. Giving has no strings attached;
anything else is called extortion. Giving does not try to gain acceptance
from others -- for that is taking in disguise. Giving is whole-hearted.
Giving has immense power when it is done in the dark. God prizes the
stealth gifts, for they are displayed on His big screen TV in heaven.
Giving says I love you regardless, whatever, whenever. It spans time,
circumstances, even wrong strong wills. It sends a positive spin to all
who are touched by it and sets in motion a domino-effect throughout
the generations. Giving has many forms. Even the smallest gift of a
prayer can add mountains of hope in due season. Giving is a mystery to
the world, for it flexes its taking muscle and wonders why the end of it
is emptiness. Giving keeps you busy from doing the wrong things. It is
the antidote for personal loss. Giving in the right spirit, with the right
motive, has no loss, for God wastes nothing. Giving blesses the giver
before it even gets to the receiver.
Giving is only giving what has been given you.
For the greatest gift is being forgiven.
Duke
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