Horoscope by Sydney Kida
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
PISCES
ARIES
Dec 22 - Jan 20
Jan 21 - Feb 18
Feb 19 - March 20
March 21 - April 20
Feeling overwhelmed
with semester-end
projects, you may
find yourself buried
under your comforter
watching anything
and everything on
Netflix. Forego the
procrastination and hit
the SLC.
Your socially-taboo
habit of arriving late
and leaving early may
actually pay off this
week. If the voice
inside your head is
telling you to split —
listen. You might trip
over the love of your
life as you flee the
scene.
Deadlines are the
worst, but there’s no
way around them.
Trudge through and
get that work done on
time. Afterword, you
are free to remove
those professors and
employers from your
“Zombie Apocalypse
Safe Room” list.
Who’s laughing now?
Your giving spirit will
compel you to help a
classmate with the
closing lines in a term
paper. Too bad that
classmate will get a
better grade than you.
Better luck next week.
TAURUS
GEMINI
CANCER
LEO
April 21 - May 20
May 21 - June 21
June 22 - July 22
July 23 - Aug 22
This is not the week
to trust others with
your cash. When your
friend promises she’ll
pay you back for that
late night Wingster
binge, she’s lying.
Save yourself the
money — and her the
indigestion.
Gemini, you are a
master of short cuts.
Put those skills to
work should you find
yourself working on
a class project. You
won’t learn much, but
at least you’ll make
some new friends.
Time to ditch the
friends who’ve been
dragging you down.
This is the prime
of your life, not the
time to clean up their
literal and figurative
mess. As DJ Clay so
eloquently puts it, it’s
time for you to say
“Ima get mine.”
You’re an emotional
train wreck this week
and nothing seems
to be going right.
Unfortunately, part
of the problem is
you. Find your big
girl panties and quit
whining. The solutions
will come more easily
than you think.
VIRGO
LIBRA
Aug 23 - Sept 22
Sept 23 - Oct 22
Finances are tight this
month. Of course,
you’re in college —
so they’re tight every
month. But thing’s
aren’t looking up
for your wallet in
the coming weeks.
Consider scaling back
that spending and
burying your credit
card in a friend’s back
yard.
You need to get away
from everything this
week. Go camping
somewhere and
reevaluate your life
and your choices. Be
sure to bring friends,
beer and a bag of
marshmallows (or
post-Easter peeps).
SCORPIO
Oct 23 - Nov 21
You will find someone
else’s lost money
this week. Take it if
you wish, but keep
karma in mind. You
don’t know where that
cash has been, and
“dirty money” may
have literal negative
consequences.
SAGITTARIUS
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Your happy façade is
doing you no favors.
Ditch it and blow off
some steam before
you snap involuntarily
and commit a major
crime. Whether you
spray paint your
boss’s car or hold
up Snelling for latenight pizza, no future
boss wants to hire a
criminal.