We lived abroad in France. And decided we would come home
to New York 10 years ago. We wanted our children to grow up
here in the city. We wanted them to have that kind of light,
spring hearted, sense of ownership that New York seemed to us
to have. So we came back to New York. It was just about that
time that my daughter Olivia told us that she had an imaginary
friend, named was Charlie Ravioli.
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How to Make an Imaginary Friend. Step 1. Come up with a
name.
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I had an imaginary friend. He never told me his name no matter
how many times I asked. He always said 'sir' was fine.
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INTRO
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But something a little concerning began to happen. Olivia
would be on her cell phone one of those toy cell phones...and
we would hear her say “Ravioli…Ravioli...call me when you
get in.” And she would hang up, and turn to us and say “I
always get his machine.” And we realized she had invented an
imaginary friend who was always too busy to play with her.
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My invisible friends come to me
To make my life more cheerful
Bringing with them lots of smiles
And I've never seen their face
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One of my sisters is a developmental psychologist. And I called
her up because it seemed a little strange to have an imaginary
friend that is too busy to play with you. She said, “Oh that’s
completely normal. Kids often make their imaginary friends
based off whatever experience they have at hand. If they are
living in the mountaintops they have imaginary friends made
out of clouds. If they live by the seashore their imaginary
friends are waves. So what could be more normal than that her
imaginary friend, growing up in Manhattan would be always
too busy.”
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I used to believe that all little kids had imaginary friends, and
that since I didn't have one, I was abnormal. I tried to make one
up for myself. Needless to say, I got bored with her VERY
soon.
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Step 2. Hold a conversation! This is important when making
an imaginary friend. And remember, if they don`t want to play,
don`t make them. Just because you made them you don’t get to
boss them around.
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Therapist: Well hello everybody to the imaginary friends help
group… as I am sure all three of you are aware.
Random Guy: Six
Therapist: I am sorry I am sure all six of you are aware that I
am here to help you overcome your psychological...
Yellow Shirt guy: Excuse me I actually wanted alcohol
anonymous.
Therapist: Oh actually that’s not here but if you report next
door I am sure they would be able to help you with your
problem.
Yellow Shirt guy: Actually I am not the alcoholic its Gordon.
(Motions towards his imaginary friend.)
Therapist: I think actually you are in the right room. Lets make
a start shall we?
Karen: My name is Karen and this is my boyfriend Tony. (Pets
imaginary friend). He arrived right after my boyfriend left me
for another woman.
Tim: My name is Tim and I am Lawrence’s imaginary friend.
(Motions toward an invisible friend). Yeah, he invented me
during a lonely childhood and I have been around ever since.
Therapist: That is a very unusual case...I hope you don’t mind
me asking but what do you think caused these illusions?
Tim: Well answer the lady she is trying to help you.
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It must have been a blessing
Just a small amount of friendship
To make this old world worthwhile.
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WARNINGS
Do not accidentally sit on your imaginary friend.
When telling secrets to an imaginary friend, make sure there is
no one eavesdropping.
Don't talk to them when anyone is looking - people might think
that you're crazy.
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So it seemed that this was going to be okay. And then a new
character arrived. And we heard Olivia talking to Laurie. She
would say “Hello Laurie is Ravioli there? Okay.” And at first
we thought that Laurie was the link behind the mastermind of
the whole Ravioli Operation. That she was the person you
spoke to when Ravioli was ignoring you. But then we listened
more carefully and we realized who Laurie really was. Laurie
was Charlie Ravioli’s assistant. She was the person on the
phone who tells you “I’m sorry Mr. Ravioli is in a meeting. He
will try to get back to you as soon as possible.”
I’m not a child psychologist but I do know that imaginary
friends should not have assistants. Imaginary friends should not
have people. They should play with the child who imagined
them. That is their role in life. So I called my sister and said
“Ravioli has an assistant. Would you describe this as normal?”
She said “I think you should move.”
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Therapist: Just stay where you are. The point of this meeting is
to ensure that you see that your imaginary friends, are just
figments of your own imagination. That is all brought on by
your issues own issues of loneliness, isolation and when you
realize this you will be able to move forward all the more
easily.
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My imaginary friend was 93 years old. Yeah she was my
imaginary grandma. Laugh all you want but she was so real to
me. I think my imaginary grandmother was my way of making
my dead grandmother real.
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Step 3. Never neglect your imaginary friend.
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But then something interesting began to happen. Every day
Olivia would tell us that she had gone out in search of Mr.
Ravioli. And that each day something amazing had happened to
her. One time she had gone out looking for Mr. Ravioli and she
had ended up releasing all the animals from the zoo. One time
she had gone out looking for Charlie Ravioli on the streets on
Manhattan and she had gotten into the front seat of the taxi and
driven through the city. She had gone looking for Charlie
Ravioli downtown somewhere, and she ended up telling jokes
in a nightclub.
And we realized that Charlie Ravioli wasn’t just an incarnation
of the busyness she saw around us. But he was her imagination
of the endless possibilities of New York which was always just
around the corner.
And so in those years when we were all asking ourselves
should we stay in New York? Should we go out of New York? I
knew that we could stay in New York. Because I am sure that
all we wanted from this city... That all we wanted was to go on
bumping into Charlie Ravioli for as long and as often as we
possibly can.