UNDERSTANDING GENUINE HUMILITY
Humility is almost a lost word in the English language. However, it is a principle of life that God and all of His close
followers have valued highly. The Lord as well as all the apostles spoke of humility as the gateway to greatness. Paul
says in Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Both
James and Peter also stress the same point when they write “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he
will lift you up”. (James 4:10, I Peter 5:6).
The dictionary definitions have not changed over the years - “meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not
arrogant or prideful.--submissive respect--unpretentious or lowly.”* What has changed is the way we look at humility.
Our human nature and our culture constantly encourage us to develop our sense of pride as one of the motivating
elements in living an effective life. Proud people get things done. Proud people are the movers and shakers of our world.
But Jesus said “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the
gospel will save it”. (Mark 8:35)
As in the case of forgiveness, in order to understand how humility works we have to go back to the
cross. Paul makes this clear when he writes in Phillipians 2:8 “And being found in appearance as a
man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross”! Even though
Jesus was the creator of the whole universe, he was willing to do something for us that made him
seem to have failed. Instead of being the powerful ruler of the Earth, he died as a criminal on the
cross. He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
Why would he do that? He was humble!
As in the case of forgiveness, humility comes when we understand that God is at work in the
circumstances of life. We sense that this may be true when what happens to us is painful, but it is
also true when the circumstances of life are really positive. What most of us miss is the serious
problem that arises when what happens to us is really good. During the years that I have been working alongside
people to help them deal with the issues in their lives, I have been amazed at the number of people that have done
really well until they realized that they were doing well. Suddenly they would fail! In fact, as we discussed what had
happened to them we discovered that they knew how to handle failure, but not success. So instinctively they went
back to what they knew how to do. It turns out that we are required to put God in the center of the good as well as
the bad or we will begin to see ourselves as “little gods” or run in terror from what we can’t handle with our own
resources.
Strong
Poor
The following chart will help you to see how this works. Please remember that as you read through the
top two sections of the chart that where there are two reactions shown in a given box, the top reaction is for
a person with a strong self image and the bottom reaction is that of a person with a poor self image.
*American Heritage Dictionary
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UNDERSTANDING GENUINE HUMILITY
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
NO HUMILITY
EVENT
Pleasant
PRIMARY
EMOTIONAL
RESPONSE
EVALUATION
OF EVENT
Pleasure
A Personal
Reward
SECONDARY
EMOTIONAL
RESPONSE
DECISION
1
DECISION
2
ACTION
TAKEN
EVENT
REVIEWED
Excitement
I Deserve This
I Deserve More
Become
Dependent
I Want
More
Fear
I Hate This
This Must Stop
Become
Defensive
I was SO
Embarrassed
FALSE HUMILITY
EVENT
Pleasant
PRIMARY
EMOTIONAL
RESPONSE
EVALUATION
OF EVENT
Pleasure
A Personal
Reward
SECONDARY
EMOTIONAL
RESPONSE
DECISION
1
DECISION
2
ACTION
TAKEN
EVENT
REVIEWED
Excitement
I Need This
I Should be
Grateful
Fear
I don’t want
This
I’m Not Worthy
Forced
Humility
Expressed
Pleasure
with
Confusion
BIBLICAL HUMILITY
EVENT
Pleasant
(From the Mind)
(From the Heart)
PRIMARY
EMOTIONAL
RESPONSE
EVALUATION
OF EVENT
SECONDARY
EMOTIONAL
RESPONSE
DECISION
1
DECISION
2
ACTION
TAKEN
EVENT
REVIEWED
Pleasure
A Part of
God’s Plan
Excitement
or Fear
replaced by
Gratitude
This is a
Gift
from God
This
Happened
for His
Glory
Thanks
Freely
Given to
God and
Others
Joy Because
Part of
God’s Plan
Romans 8:28
This Chart has been developed from principles in “THE MARRIAGE BUILDER” by Larry Crabb.
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