Level 3 exemplars and comments
Paper 1
Sample 1:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 1:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 1:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 1:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 1:
Section A, Question 2
Comments
(i)
Expression in this response is at times problematic (e.g. “clarification” instead of perhaps
‘exposure’). Some valid observations are made but again there is confusion (e.g. should it
not be Emilia’s “verbal rebellion” rather than Iago’s?). The discussion about how language
is used is confined to Iago, and focuses only on his “abusive language” with very basic textual
evidence offered in support. Only two fairly obvious comments are made about the use of
action.
(ii) This is an underdeveloped answer, with only two similarities mentioned and one difference.
(iii) A very superficial and, at times, factually incorrect understanding of the lines (e.g. “Precious
villain” is in praise of Iago’s plot).
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
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Sample 2:
Section A, Question 2
Comments
(i)
This response does cover a range of observations.
However, it is hampered by poor
expression which tends to make some parts incomprehensible (e.g. “If Desdemona dies she
shouldn’t be able to defend for her chastity”). The candidate expands on a subjective
point-of-view which veers off-topic (e.g. “the worst crime a man can do to his wife”). Also
exposes a misunderstanding about the relevance of the “North Wind” simile. With regard to
language, only a very simplistic point is made about Emilia’s declaration of her “vow”.
(ii) Again, basic points made in a basic manner with heavy repetition and confusing expression.
[Too much time spent on this answer was detrimental to completing the next answer].
(iii) This 6-line answer is obviously unfinished and a totally wrong interpretation given.
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Paper 2
Sample 1:
Part I Section C, Question 6
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Sample 1:
Part I Section C, Question 6
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Sample 1:
Part I Section C, Question 6
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Sample 1:
Part I Section C, Question 6
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Sample 1:
Part I Section C, Question 6
Comments
Some reasonable and valid points are made in this response with regard to how Mr. Waddington and
Mother Superior contribute to plot advancement and character development in The Painted Veil.
One or two of them are quite interesting but not fleshed out enough to be convincing. A case in point
is the idea that through Mother Superior, Kitty learns that Walter loves babies, and this knowledge
adds to her guilt towards the end of the film, as her baby is possibly Charlie’s. The discussion on
how the two secondary characters help shed light on the setting is also thin. Hardly any critical
analysis is evident, and this detracts from the effect of the essay.
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
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Sample 2:
Part II. Question 10
Comments
This is a focused response to the question, giving due consideration to all three of the set texts. It
demonstrates a good grasp of the concepts “seeing” and “seeming”, and discusses a range of
relevant examples. However, these examples are explored at a rather superficial level, without any
overarching argument or thesis. Moreover, some of the points raised by the candidate seem
contentious, e.g. her claim that the narrator’s marijuana habits are necessarily a reflection of his
rocky relationship with his wife in “Cathedral”.
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Paper 3
Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
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Sample 1:
Extended Essay: Mr. Darcy’s Character Transformation in Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice
Comments
This is quite a convincing exploration of the character of Mr Darcy which has many positive
aspects. It would have benefitted from clearer statements of transition from one point to another e.g.
first sentence on p. 3 could have fronted the paragraph. It also tends to jump around and there is
something of a disconnection between the incidents cited and the character’s transformation. This is
understandable because the candidate is attempting to describe a complex psychological process,
within a context which is chronologically and geographically distant from contemporary HK.
The candidate has been able to pick on a few critical incidents in the film to exemplify the argument
that Darcy is arrogant at the beginning (e.g. the opening ball) and is later transformed (e.g. his
conversations with the Gardiners).
She insightfully comments on some filmic features (e.g. camera angles) and acting/direction (facial
expressions) to illustrate points.
The fact that this is a filmed version of the Austen novel is not mentioned, so the opening is rather
confusing, and one would have liked to see some acknowledgement of the work of the author, not
just the director, in shaping the character, even perhaps some explicit comparison of the film and
novel.
There are some interesting comments on techniques such as pathetic fallacy.
The Introduction does not state the thesis clearly.
The essay is a bit too long, not clearly defined, and stuffed with details, but the overall content
comes across as being a bit thin, confusing and ambiguous in places. The relationship between
Darcy and Elizabeth is not explained thoroughly and there are moments of confusion.
Some unusual and unclear phrasing makes the precise points difficult to follow e.g. what does the
candidate mean by “Elizabeth… is unoffended by the social hierarchy”?
The candidate seems to have only a sketchy understanding of the English class system, and does not
bother to explain the prevailing social sensitivities, yet this is fundamental to the novel/film.
There are some unwarranted conclusions e.g. p. 2:“Thus, Darcy’s pride increases as he compares
himself with people outside his social circle and increases his own importance.”
This piece fulfills the task requirements to some extent.
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Sample 2:
Short Task: Creative Work
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Sample 2:
Short Task: Creative Work
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Sample 2:
Short Task: Creative Work
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Sample 2:
Short Task: Creative Work
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Sample 2:
Short Task: Creative Work
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Sample 2:
Short Task: Creative Work
Comments
The short story bears a strong resemblance to ‘The Chrysanthemum’ in the syllabus. It attempts to
capture the emotional state of the major protagonist but the reasons for her love of the dead babies
and the hatred of her son are unexplained. The language sounds pretentious, especially that in the
poems added in the middle of the piece. The story also suffers from a lack of a conflict or emotional
tension, resulting in a rather superficial and bland piece of work.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten [sic] the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
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Sample 3:
Extended Essay: The Duality in A Tale of Two Cities: How Charles Dickens heighten the various
themes within the novel.
Comments
This essay suffers right at the beginning when the scope is set too broadly and the concept of duality
and opposition lacks a clear definition. This lack of focus is evident in the beginning of the essay
when the candidate simply quoted the first few lines of the novel and compared them to that of
Macbeth with no attempt to analyse the interpretations of these lines. The title of the essay which
promises to discuss ‘various themes’ has not been adequately dealt with when only one or two
themes are discussed. There are some interesting comments on character and on mirroring, for
example, but larger themes such justice and patriotism are treated rather superficially.
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