Australians and the Acceptable Apology:
Research conducted by McCrindle Research highlights what Australians think makes an
acceptable apology and what doesn’t cut it!
Australians are excellent at apologising with 93% indicating they always or mostly offer an
apology for something they’ve done wrong. 2 in 5 are even quick to apologise if they are not
100% sure they are the one to blame (42%).
Some demographics were more likely to apologise quickly and in a humble manner. Below are
three key groups for whom saying sorry seems to come a little easier.
Women
Women are more likely than men to quickly admit they made a mistake, with 48% of women
stating they are quick to apologise, compared to just 39% of men. Women were also more likely
to respect someone for saying sorry, due to the courage and humility it would take to do so (89%
compared to 82% of men). Men were more likely than women to be satisfied with the “non
apology” (as outline below), while women were more likely to prefer the “unreserved” apology
(also outlined below).
Older Australians
Older Australians are far more inclined to say sorry than the younger generations. 48% of
Builders (aged 66 and above) say that would apologise quickly even when they aren’t sure it’s
their fault. This compared to 41% of Baby Boomers, 44% of Gen Xs and just 37% of Gen Ys!
Similarly, 93% of Builders said they would respect someone more for apologising, compared to
just 76% of Gen Ys.
Those with a significant other:
Perhaps having learnt the art of swallowing your pride, those with a significant other were more
inclined to apologise quickly. 43% of this demographic would apologise quickly, compared to
40% of those without a partner.
How often would you give an apology when you have hurt someone or done something wrong?
Rarely or never- I hate saying sorry, and generally don’t,
even when I know I’m at fault.
Sometimes- I don’t like saying sorry but if I am definitely at
fault and I have no real alternative then I will apologise.
1%
6%
Mostly- if I have been the one in the wrong then I will give
usually give an apology.
Always- I apologise quickly, even for minor things and even
if I’m not certain that it was my fault.
51%
42%
It’s all in the wording:
It’s not just making an apology that matters, but how you say it as well. Below are the key
apology styles and how likely they will be accepted, as well as some famous examples.
If someone was to say something unkind, undeserved, and untrue about you and then they later
offered you an apology, which of the following phrases would be acceptable to you as an
apology?
“I was wrong in what I said and I’m sorry. Please forgive me”.
94%
“I’m sorry for saying those things about you - please forgive
me”
89%
“Please accept my apologies for the words that I used”
11%
76%
“I regret that my words may have hurt you”
“If any offence has been taken from my words then this is
unfortunate”
6%
24%
59%
22%
41%
Acceptable
Unacceptable
78%
1. The ‘unreserved’ apology:
The most acceptable apology in the eyes of Australians is the most humble. 94% of us said that
the best apology is one that leaves no room for pride and the apologiser acknowledges that they
were wrong and are sorry for it. Moreover, they ask for forgiveness.
2. The ‘thorough’ apology
This type of apology is still acceptable for many Australians with 89% likely to respond well to the
wording, “I’m sorry for saying those things about you - please forgive me”. This approach sees
the one saying sorry taking ownership over what they said and again, asking for forgiveness.
However, unlike the last apology, the apologiser does not admit that they were wrong.
3. The ‘disclaimer’ apology
In this type of apology, the culprit admits that the words they used weren’t good but there is no
further admission beyond that – with a statement like “Please accept my apologies for the words
that I used”. Even though this type of apology doesn’t really get to the heart of what has been
done, 76% of Australians still think it is appropriate.
4. The ‘share the blame’ apology:
Moving further away from apologies that admit wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness, this type of
apology simply admits regret for the other person’s hurt with a statement like “I regret that my
words may have hurt you”. 3 in 5 Australians still believe this sort of apology is fine, compared to
2 in 5 who do not.
5. The ‘non-apology’
The non-apology is not so much an apology, as a message to the offended to “get over it”. The
non apology, expressed with a statement like “If any offence has been taken from my words then
this is unfortunate”, is disliked by nearly 8 in 10 Australians and only considered acceptable by
22%. Good examples of a non-apology are phrases like, “mistakes were made” with no
indication of by whom!
Respecting those who say it:
Not only are Australians quick to say sorry, but we respect others who humbly apologise. 85% of
Australians respect someone more for saying sorry, while for a further 15% it doesn’t change
their opinion either way. Only 1% of respondents would think less of the person.
15%
1%
I respect them more for having the humility and
courage to say sorry.
It doesn’t make me think worse of them, but nor
do I think better of them.
84%
I think worse of them because they are admitting
that they are at fault or highlighting their
mistake.
The research supporting this summary was conducted by McCrindle Research in 2012 through a
national study of Australians which received 828 completed surveys. For comment, please contact
Mark McCrindle on 0411 5000 90 or Francesca Dalton on 02 8824 3422. Alternatively email:
francesca@mccrindle.com.au.
DEMOGRAPHICS
This survey #
This survey %
National % of populated aged
18-100
AGE
16-32 (Gen Y)
180
21%
GEN Y 27%
32-45 (Gen X)
210
25%
GEN X 27%
46-65 (Baby Boomer)
337
41%
BOOMERS 29%
66+ (Builder)
104
13%
BUILDERS 17%
TOTAL:
831
100%
100%
5
1%
1%
STATE
NT
ACT
10
1%
1.60%
TAS
19
2%
2.30%
SA
59
7%
7.30%
WA
55
7%
10.40%
QLD
177
21%
20.30%
VIC
195
23%
24.90%
NSW
311
37%
32.20%
TOTAL
831
100%
100%
GENDER
Male
538
65%
50%
Female
293
35%
50%
TOTAL
831
100%
100%