Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) Published online 9 December 2009 in Wiley InterScience (www.interscience.wiley.com). DOI: 10.1002/cpp.668 An Inventory and Update of Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours in Modern Society Pieternel Dijkstra,1* Dick P. H. Barelds1 and Hinke A. K. Groothof2 1 2 University of Groningen, the Netherlands Dutch Open University The goal of the present study was to identify the most important jealousy-evoking partner behaviours and to examine the extent to which these behaviours evoke jealousy. Based on the literature, a questionnaire was constructed containing 42 jealousy-evoking partner behaviours, including a partner’s extra-dyadic involvement with someone else by means of modern communication devices, such as the Internet. A second study examined the extent to which undergraduates and a community sample experienced jealousy in response to these partner behaviours. Results showed that explicit unfaithful behaviours evoked most feelings of jealousy, followed by a partner’s emotional or romantic involvement with someone else by means of modern communication devices. In general, older individuals responded with less jealousy in response to a partner’s unfaithful and suspicious behaviours. Clinical implications are discussed. Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Key Practitioner Message: • A partner’s involvement with someone else by means of modern communication devices may evoke strong feelings of jealousy, in particular among women. • An individual’s age affects the extent to which he or she experiences jealousy in response to specific extra-dyadic partner behaviours. • In order to correctly diagnose and treat pathological jealousy, clinicians should pay attention to the extent to which partners (unintentionally) evoke and maintain feelings of jealousy. • Identifying partner behaviours that evoke most jealousy may help couples define the boundaries of their relationship. Keywords: Jealousy, Partner Behaviours, Age, Internet INTRODUCTION Feelings of jealousy are experienced in response to a threat to, or the actual loss of, a valued, mostly sexual, relationship with another person, due to * Correspondence to: Pieternel Dijkstra, Grote Kruisstraat 2/I, 9712 TS Groningen, The Netherlands. E-mail: dijkstrap@planet.nl Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. an actual or imagined rival for one’s partner’s attention (e.g., Bringle & Buunk, 1985; DeSteno & Salovey, 1996; Dijkstra & Buunk, 1998). This definition of jealousy implies that the evocation of jealousy requires a ‘triangle’ of three people (e.g., Pam & Pearson, 1996), i.e., oneself, one’s partner and one’s rival. Consistent with this triangle, three broad lines can be detected in jealousy research, i.e., studies that have related jealousy to characteristics of the person, studies that have related 330 jealousy to characteristics of the rival and studies that have related jealousy to behaviours of the partner. With regard to the self in the triangle, it has, for instance, consistently been found that individuals high in neuroticism experience more intense feelings of jealousy than individuals low in neuroticism (e.g., Dijkstra & Barelds, 2008; Melamed, 1991). With regard to rival characteristics, it has, for instance, been found that attractive rivals evoke more jealousy than unattractive ones, especially among women (e.g., Buunk & Dijkstra, 2001; Dijkstra & Buunk, 1998, 2002). The present study focuses on the third line of jealousy research, i.e., the relation between jealousy and partner behaviours. A Partner’s Jealousy-Evoking Behaviours For several reasons, it is important to identify those partner behaviours that evoke the most jealousy. First, in general, marital infidelity and the feelings of jealousy that result from it have been found to be relatively difficult to treat, and therapists often feel unprepared for this kind of work (Whisman, Dixon, & Johnson, 1997). Information about what partner behaviours, in general, evoke most jealousy and are perceived as most hurtful may help therapists mobilize the best help for their clients. Jealousy may not only be the focus of therapy when couples struggle with the aftermath of infidelity; it may also be the focus of therapy in the absence of a partner’s sexual infidelity, that is when jealousy is pathological or tends to become so (Buunk & Dijkstra, 2000). Morbid jealousy is often seen, by both the ‘healthy’ partner and the therapist, as a problem of the morbidly jealous partner: he/she suffers from a lack of self-esteem, irrational cognitions or some type of personality disorder (Bishay, Tarrier, Dolan, & Beckett, 1996). Although this may be indeed the case, morbid jealousy is often unintentionally evoked, strengthened or maintained by a partner’s jealousy-evoking behaviours (Dijkstra, 2004). Behaviours that one partner may find innocent, may be hurtful and jealousy evoking to the other partner. Knowledge about the partner behaviours that evoke jealousy may therefore help therapists and clients to identify behaviour patterns of the ‘healthy’ partner that may worsen the morbidly jealous partner’s jealousy. Many different partner behaviours may give rise to jealousy, such as a partner kissing (e.g., Barelds & Dijkstra, 2007; Buunk & Hupka, 1987)or flirting with someone else (e.g., Dijkstra & Buunk, 1998; Salovey & Rodin, 1988). In the last decade, Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. P. Dijkstra et al. jealousy research has in particular focused on the distinction between a partner’s sexual infidelity and a partner’s emotional infidelity. Buss, Larsen, Westen and Semmelroth (1992)developed a research paradigm in which they presented participants with two dilemmas in which participants had to chose between a partner’s sexual unfaithfulness and a partner’s emotional unfaithfulness as the most upsetting event. In studying jealousy, many authors have used the same paradigm (e.g., Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei, & Gladue, 1994; Dijkstra et al., 2001), studying the same jealousy-provoking partner behaviours, that is: (1) having passionate sexual intercourse with someone else; (2) trying different sexual positions with someone else; (3) forming a deep emotional attachment to someone else; and (4) falling in love with someone else. However, many more jealousy-evoking partner behaviours may be identified, such as a dancing with someone else, flirting with someone else (e.g., Bringle, Roach, Andler, & Evenbeck, 1979) or having sexual fantasies about someone else (DeSouza, Verderane, Taira, & Otta, 2006). It seems that, although many studies have examined the jealousy-evoking effect of specific partner behaviours, most studies have examined only a few isolated partner behaviours, allowing no definitive conclusions about what partner behaviours evoke the most jealousy. One of the goals of the present study was therefore to identify the most important partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy and to examine the extent to which they do. Media Use and Jealousy When examining partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy, it is necessary to take into account the technological developments of the past few decades. The growing influence of the media in today’s society poses new challenges to couples (e.g., Millner, 2008). By means of television, commercials, magazines and the Internet, men and women are bombarded with attractive same-sex and opposite sex individuals, and, thus, with many potential rivals for their partner’s attentions. Jealousy seems to be one of the most logical outcomes. Currently, however, very little is known about the extent to which a partner’s involvement with virtual and media rivals evokes feelings of jealousy. What we do know is that sexuality is one aspect of human social behaviour that is dramatically impacted by the media, especially by the Internet, and that a partner’s involvement with the Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 331 Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours media may have devastating consequences for the quality of one’s relationship (Cooper, Delmonico, & Burg, 2000). It has, for example, been reported that in recent years, one-third of divorce litigation in the USA is due to online affairs and/or cybersex (c.f. Mileham, 2007). Despite its importance, most previous studies have neglected to study the impact of a partner’s involvement with these media and the extent to which these behaviours may evoke feelings of jealousy. Another goal of the present study was therefore to examine the extent to which a partner’s Internet and media involvement evokes jealousy. A Partner’s Internet Involvement Due to the Internet, it has become very easy for people to enjoy both the stability of a committed pair bond and the advantages of infidelity at the same time (Mileham, 2007). Indeed, sex is reported to be the most frequently searched topic on the Internet (Cooper et al., 2000; Freeman-Longo & Blanchard, 1998), and married individuals may use the Internet to meet strangers, flirt and engage in sexualized conversations or sexual behaviours, with or without a webcam (e.g., Young, GriffinShelley, Cooper, O’Mara, & Buchanan, 2000). There are even chat rooms specifically geared to married people who wish to engage in sexual conversations and activities with someone else (e.g., Yahoo’s Married And Flirting; MSN’s Married But Flirting chat rooms). Scholars have applied the ACE model to explain married individuals’ involvement in cybersex and online affairs. According to this model, Anonymity, Convenience and Escape (ACE) make it incredibly easy and addictive to engage in virtual adultery (e.g., Ben-Zeev, 2004; Young, Griffin-Shelley, Cooper, O’Mara, & Buchanan, 2000). More specifically, Anonymity refers to the facilitating effect of Internet on the sharing of personal and/or sexual feelings, Convenience to the ease with which individuals can meet others, for example, in chat rooms, and Escape to the relatively low investments individuals have to make in order to engage in cyber affairs. Although those who participate in it often rationalize online sexual acts as being OK, because there is no physical contact with someone else, Whitty (2003)found that most people believe cybersex (describing the sexual act while typically masturbating), hot chatting (a type of erotic talk that moves beyond lighthearted flirting) and viewing pornography on the Internet are all acts of betrayal and adultery. In a Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. similar vein, in a study among partners of Internet addicts, Schneider (2003)found that women consider online sexual activities the same as ‘real’ adultery. In addition to sexual acts, also emotional disclosure with someone else through the Internet, for example by means of email or chats, is often seen as an act of infidelity. Illustrative is a study by Whitty (2005), who presented participants with a short scenario, describing a couple that had been going out for over a year, after which one of them realizes that the other has developed a relationship with someone else over the Internet. Of the participants, 84% labelled the partner’s behaviour as an act of infidelity. Thus, in making an inventory of partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy, it is of vital importance to include partner behaviours with regard to the Internet. Treatment models of Internet infidelity are still in the developmental stages (Hertlein & Piercy, 2006; Millner, 2008), and uncovering the patterns that characterize Internet infidelity may help therapists develop more adequate treatment for couples who struggle with its aftermath. A Partner’s Involvement with Other Media Besides the Internet, individuals are also flooded by ideal images of same- and opposite-sex individuals in magazines and on television. Individuals may perceive attractive models, actors, rock stars, TV hosts and news readers as rivals for their partner’s attention, and, unconsciously, consider them a threat to their relationship. Although these rivals may be ‘distant’, and the likelihood of a partner becoming sexually or emotionally involved with that particular rival is extremely small, it is possible that, in response to media rivals, the same jealousy mechanism may be triggered as in response to real rivals. The jealousy-evoking effect of a partner’s involvement with media images of an attractive opposite sex individual has, however, hardly been addressed, besides briefly in a study by Wiederman and Allgeier (1993). As part of a larger questionnaire on jealousy, Wiederman and Allgeier (1993)asked individuals to rank order six potentially upsetting partner behaviours, with the most upsetting behaviour being ranked as number 1. Of these six situations, three referred to jealousy as we define it in this paper, that is, to the emotion that is evoked by situations in which individuals perceive their relationship to be threatened by a real or imaginary rival. One of these three situations was a partner fantasizing about having sex with a Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 332 very attractive person he/she saw in a magazine. The mean rank order for this partner behaviour, for both men and women, was about 3.5. However, because of the rank order paradigm, we cannot know the intensity of the jealousy experience: it is possible that the scenario only evoked few feelings of jealousy. In addition, in a few case studies on morbid jealousy, it has been observed that jealousy may be evoked in morbidly jealous people when their partner watches an attractive member of the opposite sex on television (e.g., Brekelmans, Schaap, Cuisinier, Hoogduin, & Buunk, 1990). Case studies such as these do not necessarily mean that jealousy in response to a partner looking at attractive members of the opposite sex depicted in magazines or on television is pathological. Recent research has shown that images of attractive men and women may seriously affect the relationship between partners. In response to the flood of ideal images of members of the opposite sex, individuals tend to overestimate the number of attractive, alternative partners, and, in comparison, perceive their own partner as less attractive and desirable (Kenrick, Gutieres, & Goldberg, 1989). Research, for instance, has found that, after looking at pictures of playmates, men tend to be less in love with their wives (Kenrick et al., 1989). In addition, Kenrick, Neuberg, Zierk and Krones (1994)found that exposure to an attractive woman leads men to rate their relationship less favourably, whereas exposure to a socially dominant man leads women to rate their relationship less favourably. Feeling (somewhat) jealous in response to ideal pictures of opposite sex members depicted on television or in magazines may therefore be an adaptive response aimed at protecting the relationship from harm. Only when jealousy in response to such a rival becomes excessive may jealousy become pathological in nature. In sum, the media has dramatically enlarged the number of rivals individuals are confronted with. To date, no studies have examined the jealousy-evoking effect of a partner’s involvement with these rivals. In making an inventory of the most important partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy, our study therefore included a partner’s involvement with virtual and media-rivals and investigated to what extent these partner behaviours evoke jealousy. The Present Studies Two studies were conducted to examine the jealousy-evoking nature of different partner behavCopyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. P. Dijkstra et al. iours. On the basis of the literature, Study 1 set out to make an inventory of the most important partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy, including a partner’s involvement with the media and Internet. For this purpose, the literature on jealousyevoking partner behaviours was systematically reviewed. Next, on the basis of this review and the literature on modern media use, a questionnaire was constructed to assess the extent to which relevant partner behaviours may evoke jealousy. This questionnaire was administered in two samples (Study 2): a sample of undergraduates and a community sample. Studying these different groups is relevant, since several studies have shown young individuals to use the Internet more often than older individuals, especially to meet strangers and to maintain relationships with friends (e.g., Bernier & Laflamme, 2005; Thayer & Ray, 2006). As a result, a partner’s involvement with the Internet may pose a different type of relationship threat for younger than for older individuals. Study 2 examined the factor structure of the list of jealousy-evoking partner behaviours generated in Study 1, and gender differences in the jealousy-evoking effect of a partner’s behaviour. Examining gender differences is relevant because numerous studies have shown men and women to differ in their experience of jealousy. Men and women have, for instance, been found to respond differently to different types of rivals: whereas women report most jealousy in response to physically attractive rivals, men report most jealousy in response to socially dominant rivals (e.g., Dijkstra & Buunk, 1998). Moreover, men and women have been found to evaluate different partner behaviours as the more upsetting. An especially recurrent finding is that women, more often than men, find a partner’s emotional infidelity more upsetting than a partner’s sexual infidelity (e.g., Buss et al., 1992, 1999; Fernandez, Sierra, Zubeidat, & Vera-Villarroel, 2006). In addition to gender, Study 2 also studied the effect of age on the jealousyevoking effect of a partner’s behaviours. Age is a relatively unstudied variable in jealousy research. Except studies on delusional jealousy caused by dementia, most studies on romantic jealousy have been conducted among young people, especially undergraduates. A few exceptions are studies of Dijkstra and Buunk (2002), Green and Sabini (2006), Shackelford et al. (2004), and Buunk and Dijkstra (2005). These studies found no effects of age on the choice between emotional and sexual infidelity as the most upsetting event (Green & Sabini, 2006; Shackelford et al., 2004), and found Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 333 Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours that older people responded with less jealousy to a rival’s social dominance, physical attractiveness and shoulder-to-hip ratio than younger people (Buunk & Dijkstra, 2005; Dijkstra & Buunk, 2002). Nonetheless, we know relatively little about the relationship between jealousy and age. STUDY 1 Method Literature Research To arrive at a list of partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy, we searched the literature using the PsychInfo databases over the years 1954–2008. To identify relevant articles, the search term ‘jealousy’ was used. This search yielded 2086 papers. After scanning the electronic abstracts, we excluded non-empirical papers, papers in which jealousy was not a central concern, papers that focussed on envy instead of jealousy and papers specifically on morbid jealousy. We also excluded papers on strategically induced jealousy, i.e., studies that examined individuals’ attempts to purposely evoke jealousy in their partner in order to make their partner believe that they are desirable and that they better keep their commitments. Although interesting, these papers examine individuals’ beliefs about what makes their partner jealous, not what actually makes a partner jealous. The remaining papers were critically analysed. In addition, several questionnaires developed to assess jealousy were screened for items referring to potentially jealousy-evoking partner behaviours. As a result, 22 categories of potentially jealousy-evoking partner behaviours were identified (see Table 1). Table 1 consists of all those (categories of) partner behaviours that were found more than twice in the literature. Partner behaviours that were reported only one or two times were excluded from the present inventory (e.g., ‘your partner disappears for a long time at a party’, Mathes & Severa, 1981; ‘your partner goes to a brothel’, Sabini & Silver, 2005). Table 1 does not include papers that exclusively used a jealousy measure or manipulation that was developed or used before by someone else. Most notably in this context are the numerous studies that have used the paradigm developed by Buss et al. (1992). To mention all those papers would be of no use, since they all studied the same jealousy-evoking partner behaviours, such as a partner falling in love with someone else. In arriving at this inventory, we followed the same procedure as Dijkstra and Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Buunk (2001)did in their categorization of rival characteristics. Questionnaire Construction On the basis of the literature and the (categories of) behaviours distinguished in Table 1, we developed a questionnaire. Participants were asked how jealous they would feel if their partner would engage in the behaviours mentioned in the left column of Table 2. These partner behaviours were all based on the partner behaviour categories in Table 1, with some partner behaviour categories being specified into more than one item. For instance, the category ‘partner has sex with someone else without having intercourse, e.g., oral sex’ was split into the items ‘Your partner has sex with someone else without having intercourse’ and ‘Your partner has oral sex with someone else’. In a similar vein, the category referring to a partner’s phone-related behaviours was captured in three items, i.e., ‘Your partner SMS-es with someone of the opposite sex on a regular basis’, ‘Your partner phones someone of the opposite sex’ and ‘Your partner has phone sex with someone else’. In addition, we added items concerning a partner’s involvement with media rivals. On the basis of several studies on Internet infidelity, the following items were added: ‘Your partner has cybersex with someone else’ (Schneider, 2003; Whitty, 2003), ‘Your partner undresses for someone else in front of the webcam’ (Ross, Rosser, & Stanton, 2004; Schneider, 2003), ‘Your partner sends sexrelated chats or emails to someone of the opposite sex’ (Schneider, 2003; Whitty, 2003), ‘Your partner visits a chat box on sex’ (Mileham, 2007; Ross et al., 2004; Schneider, 2003), ‘Your partner watches pornographic pictures or movies on the Internet’ (e.g. Schneider, 2003; Whitty, 2003), ‘Your partner shares a strong emotional bond with someone he/she communicates with through the Internet’ (Whitty, 2003, 2005), ‘Your partner shares his/her feelings and secrets with someone of the opposite sex by chat or email’ (Whitty, 2003, 2005), ‘Your partner has sex with someone else in a virtual community, such as Second Life’ (Menon, 1998)and ‘Your partner falls in love with someone whit whom he/she communicates through the Internet. In addition, the following items concerning the partner’s involvement with other media rivals were added: ‘Your partner looks at pornographic pictures in a magazine’(Kenrick et al., 1989), ‘Your partner watches a porn movie without you’ (Schneider, 2003; Whitty, 2003), ‘Your partner looks at (non-pornographic) pictures of an Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 334 P. Dijkstra et al. Table 1. An inventory of potentially jealousy-evoking partner behaviours on the basis of literature research Jealousy-evoking partner behaviour Partner has sex with someone else Partner spends much of his/ her time with someone of the opposite sex Partner is flirting with someone else Partner has an interesting conversation with someone of the opposite sex (during which they touch or laugh) Partner kisses someone else Partner feels attracted to someone else Partner has a sexual affair with someone else Partner works intensively together with someone of the opposite sex Partner embraces someone of the opposite sex Partner shares a strong emotional bond with someone of the opposite sex Partner dances with someone of the opposite sex Partner gives someone of the opposite sex a present/love letter/ postcard Studies Archer and Webb (2006), Buss et al. (1992, 1999), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Buunk (1997), Buunk and Dijkstra (2004), Buunk and Hupka (1987), Hansen (1982, 1987), Mathes and Verstraete (1993), Murphy, Vallacher, Shackelford, Bjorklund and Yunger (2006), Paul, Foss and Galloway (1993), Paul and Galloway (1994), Sabini and Green (2004), Sabini and Silver (2005), Strout, Laird, Shafer and Thompson (2005), Thissen, Steinberg, Pyszczynski and Greenberg (1983), Wiederman and Allgeier (1993), Wiederman and LaMar (1998), Yarab, Allgeier and Sensibaugh (1999) Archer and Webb (2006), Bauerle, Amirkhan and Hupka (2002), Bringle et al. (1979), Bringle, Renner, Terry and Davis (1983), Bush, Bush and Jennings (1988), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Hansen (1982), Mathes and Severa (1981), Sabini and Green (2004), Salovey and Rodin (1986, 1988), Strout et al. (2005), Sheets, Fredendall and Claypool (1997), Sharpsteen (1995), Sharpsteen and Kirkpatrick (1997), Thissen et al. (1983), Wiederman and Allgeier (1993), Yarab et al. (1999) Bauerle et al. (2002), Bringle et al. (1979), Buunk (1997), Buunk and Dijkstra (2001), Buunk and Hupka (1987), DeSouza et al. (2006), DeSteno and Salovey (1996), Dijkstra and Buunk (1998), Mathes and Severa (1981), Moore, Eisler and Franchina, (2000), Eisler, Franchina, Moore, Honeycutt and Rhatigan (2000), McIntosh and Tate (1992), Parrott and Smith (1993), Paul, Foss and Galoway (1993), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Pines and Aronson (1983), Russell and Harton (2005), Sagarin and Guadagno (2004), Salovey and Rodin (1986, 1988), Sheets et al. (1997), Yarab et al. (1999), Zammuner and Fischer (1995) Archer and Webb (2006), Bauerle et al. (2002), Buunk and Dijkstra (2004), DeSteno and Salovey (2006), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Dijkstra and Buunk (1998), Holtzworth-Munroe and Anglin (1991), Knox, Zusman, Mabon and Shriver (1999), Marazziti et al. (2003), Marelich (2002), Mathes and Severa (1981), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Pines and Aronson (1983), Puente and Cohen (2003), Thissen et al. (1983), Russell and Harton (2005), Rydell, McConnell and Bringle (2004), Salovey and Rodin (1986), Sheets et al. (1997), Strout et al. (2005) Archer and Webb (2006), Bauerle et al. (2002), Bringle et al. (1979), Buunk (1997), Buunk and Hupka (1987), Hansen (1987), Hupka and Eshett (1988), Marelich (2002), Mathes and Severa (1981), Parrott and Smith (1993), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Puente and Cohen (2003), Roscoe, Cavanaugh and Kennedy (1988), Salovey and Rodin (1986), Yarab et al., (1999), Zammuner and Fisher (1995) Archer and Webb (2006), Bush et al. (1988), Bringle et al. (1979, 1983), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Fitness and Fletcher (1993), Hawkins (1987), Mathes and Severa (1981), Mullen and Martin (1994), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Schmitt (1988), Sharpsteen (1993), Sheets et al. (1997), Thissen et al. (1983) Bringle et al. (1979), Hansen (1982), Hupka (1984), Nadler and Dotan (1992), Pines and Aronson (1983), Salovey and Rodin (1986, 1988), Yarab and Allgeier (1999) Archer and Webb (2006), Bauerle et al. (2002), Bringle et al. (1979, 1983), DeSteno, Valdesolo and Bartlett (2006), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Hansen (1982), Mathes and Severa (1981), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Sharpsteen (1995), Thissen et al. (1983) Bringle et al. (1979), Buunk and Hupka (1987), DeSouza et al. (2006), Mathes and Severa (1981), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Rydell et al. (2004) Bush et al. (1988), Buss et al. (1992, 1999), Buunk and Dijkstra (2004), DeSouza et al. (2006), Hansen (1982), Mathes and Severa (1981), Strout et al. (2005), Wiederman and Allgeier (1993), Yarab et al. (1999) Bringle et al. (1979), Buunk (1997), Buunk and Hupka (1987), DeSouza et al. (2006), Knox et al. (1999), Pines and Aronson (1983), Rydell et al. (2004), Salovey and Rodin (1986, 1988), Sheets et al. (1997), Yarab et al. (1999) Archer and Webb (2006), Bauerle et al. (2002), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Thissen et al. (1983) Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 335 Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours Table 1. (Continued) Jealousy-evoking partner behaviour Partner phones someone of the opposite sex Partner shares his/her feelings and secrets with someone of the opposite sex Partner goes out without you Partner has sexual fantasies about someone else Partner looks interested at someone of the opposite sex Partner has sex with someone else without having intercourse Partner tells you how nice he/she thinks someone of the opposite sex is Partner leaves for someone else Partner has a romantic date with someone else Partner falls in love with someone else Studies Eisler et al. (2000), Pines and Aronson (1983), Rotenberg, Shewchuk and Kimberley (2001), Sheets et al. (1997), Salovey and Rodin (1986), Sharpsteen (1995) Buunk (1997), Murphy et al. (2006), Strout et al. (2005) Bringle et al. (1979), Hansen (1982), Mathes and Severa (1981), Melamed (1991), Sheets et al. (1997), Wiederman and Allgeier (1993) Buunk and Hupka (1987), DeSouza et al. (2006), Wiederman and Allgeier (1993), Yarab and Allgeier (1998), Yarab et al. (1999) Archer and Webb (2006), Bush et al. (1988), Bringle et al. (1979, 1983), DeWeerth and Kalma (1993), Fitness and Fletcher (1993), Hawkins (1987), Mathes and Severa (1981), Mullen and Martin (1994), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Schmitt (1988), Sharpsteen (1993), Sheets et al. (1997), Thissen et al. (1983) Hansen (1987), Wiederman and LaMar (1998), Yarab et al. (1999) Bringle et al. (1979), Knox et al. (1999), Mathes and Severa (1981), Pfeiffer and Wing (1989), Pines and Aronson (1983), Bush et al. (1988), Salovey and Rodin (1986, 1988), Sharpsteen (1995), Sheets et al. (1997), Thissen et al. (1983) Hupka (1984), Mathes, Adams and Davies (1985), Mullen and Martin (1994), Pines and Friedman (1998) Bringle et al. (1979), Broemer and Diehl (2004), Mathes and Severa (1981), Parrott and Smith (1993), Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), Sagarin and Guadagno (2004), Salovey and Rodin (1986, 1988), Sharpsteen (1995), Sheets et al. (1997), Thissen et al. (1983) Buss et al. (1992), Strout et al. (2005), Wiederman and Allgeier (1993) attractive opposite sex model in a magazine’ (Duran & Prusank, 1997; Kenrick et al., 1994), ‘Your partner idolizes a famous person of the opposite sex’ (based on Karniol, 2001)and ‘Your partner looks with interest at an attractive opposite sex individual on TV’ (Brekelmans et al., 1990). As a consequence, the questionnaire, in total, consisted of 42 items (see Table 2). Answers were assessed on five-point scales (1 = not jealous, 5 = very jealous). The construction of this questionnaire followed the same procedure as followed by Dijkstra and Buunk (2001). involved in an intimate heterosexual relationship could participate in the study. On average, relationship duration was 18 months (SD = 17.07, range 2 months to 11.5 years). Sample 2 is a representative community sample, recruited by a professional research agency, and consists of 241 women and 242 men, varying in age from 20 to 84, with a mean age of 48.51 years (SD = 15.47). Only participants who were involved in an intimate heterosexual relationship could participate in the study. On average, relationship duration was 21.84 years (SD = 14.99, range 10 months to 60.92 years). Materials STUDY 2 Procedure and Participants Two samples were recruited. Sample 1 consists of 254 undergraduate students, 201 women and 53 men of the University of Groningen. These students participated in an online study on jealousy. Mean age was 19.85 (standard deviation [SD] = 1.86, range 17–35). Only participants who were Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Jealousy-evoking partner behaviours. Participants in both samples filled in the questionnaire constructed in Study 1, consisting of the 42 potentially jealousy-evoking partner behaviours. The questionnaire was administered online in both samples. Before each item the question was put: ‘How jealous would you feel if . . .’. Answers were assessed on five-point scales (1 = not jealous, Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp Your partner has a sexual affair with someone else Your partner has sex with someone else without having intercourse Your partner has sex with someone else Your partner has oral sex with someone else Your partner falls in love with someone else Your partner undresses for someone else in front of the webcam Your partner kisses someone else Your partner sends sex-related chats or emails to someone of the opposite sex Your partner leaves you for someone else Your partner has a romantic date with someone else Your partner falls in love with someone with whom he/she communicates through the Internet Your partner has phone sex with someone else Your partner sends a romantic letter or postcard to someone of the opposite sex Your partner is attracted to someone else Your partner has cybersex with someone else Your partner visits a chat box on sex Your partner has sex with someone else in a virtual community, such as Second Life Your partner has sexual fantasies about someone else During a conversation your partner touches someone of the opposite sex Your partner has an interesting conversation with someone of the opposite sex Your partner dances with someone of the opposite sex Your partner embraces someone of the opposite sex Your partner works intensively together with someone of the opposite sex Your partner phones someone of the opposite sex Your partner spends much of his/her time with someone of the opposite sex Your partner looks interested at someone of the opposite sex Your partner looks with interest at an attractive opposite sex individual on TV Your partner goes out without you Your partner gives a present to someone of the opposite sex Your partner shares a strong emotional bond with someone of the opposite sex Your partner tells you how nice he/she thinks someone of the opposite sex is Your partner flirts with someone else Your partner watches a porn movie without you Your partner watches pornographic pictures or movies on the Internet Your partner looks at pornographic pictures in a magazine Your partner looks at (non-pornographic) pictures of an attractive opposite sex model in a magazine Your partner idolizes a famous person of the opposite sex Your partner shares his/her feelings and secrets with someone of the opposite sex by chat or email Your partner shares a strong emotional bond with someone he/she communicates with through the Internet Your partner sends a romantic email or chat to someone of the opposite sex Your partner SMS-es with someone of the opposite sex on a regular basis Your partner shares his/her feelings and secrets with someone of the opposite sex % explained variance Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. 24.77 0.43 0.36 0.90 0.89 0.89 0.89 0.78 0.75 0.74 0.72 0.70 0.70 0.69 0.69 0.68 0.66 0.61 0.55 0.46 0.46 I 0.43 0.48 18.89 0.34 0.42 0.37 0.34 0.41 0.32 0.76 0.76 0.74 0.72 0.70 0.68 0.67 0.65 0.62 0.60 0.60 0.59 0.59 0.54 0.30 II 11.23 0.81 0.78 0.76 0.71 0.55 0.33 0.52 0.37 0.41 0.51 0.39 0.38 0.32 0.34 III Component 0.74 0.68 0.60 0.54 0.52 9.75 0.43 0.39 0.38 0.34 0.35 0.44 0.31 0.40 0.36 0.37 0.37 IV Varimax-rotated simultaneous components analysis solution with four components (only absolute loadings ≥0.30; primary loadings in italic) Partner behaviour Table 2. 0.46 0.81 0.57 0.63 0.58 0.59 0.58 0.45 0.59 0.64 0.67 0.69 0.81 0.58 0.56 0.62 0.59 0.69 0.55 0.57 0.80 0.82 0.52 0.52 0.61 0.68 0.70 0.60 0.75 0.76 0.69 0.71 0.74 0.76 0.67 0.73 0.77 0.74 0.60 0.57 0.51 0.69 h2 336 P. Dijkstra et al. Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours 5 = very jealous). Note that we explicitly asked participants how ‘jealous’ they would feel. Some authors (e.g., Bringle, 1991)have cautioned against this because, according to these authors, in our culture, jealousy often has a negative connotation and may be underreported as a consequence. However, previous research (Dijkstra & Buunk, 1998)of one of the authors of this manuscript has shown that, in the Netherlands, people do not under-report ‘jealousy’ compared with other emotions. Moreover, the alternative item ‘upset’ that previous research has sometimes used to avoid the problem of negativity associated with jealousy, is, when translated in Dutch (‘overstuur’), in our opinion too broad to study the specific emotion of jealousy. Therefore, consistent with previous studies on jealousy in the Netherlands (e.g., Buunk & Dijkstra, 2001; Dijkstra & Buunk, 1998, 2002), we explicitly asked people how ‘jealous’ they would feel. Trait jealousy. To examine the validity of the scale assessing jealousy evoking partner behaviours, individuals filled in a short trait jealousy scale (Melamed, 1991). This trait jealousy scale consists of five items derived from a jealousy scale developed by Melamed (1991)that were assessed on five-point scales (1 = never, 5 = often). Example items are: ‘How often do you experience mild jealousy in your relationship?’ and ‘How often are you troubled by jealous thoughts?’ Cronbach’s alpha for this scale was 0.90. RESULTS Principal components analyses (PCAs) using Varimax rotation were conducted in both samples separately to determine the appropriate number of principal components underlying the 42 items assessing a partner’s jealousy-evoking behaviours. In the student sample (Sample 1), both the Scree plot and psychological interpretation favoured a four-factor solution that explained 59.64% of the variance. The first factor included partner behaviours that do not openly convey infidelity, but that may raise suspicion, such as a partner embracing someone of the opposite sex or sharing an emotional bond with someone of the opposite sex. This factor was labelled Suspicious Behaviour. High loading items on the second factor were, for example, ‘Your partner has sex with someone else’ and ‘Your partner falls in love with someone else’. This factor was labelled Unfaithful Behaviour. The third factor was labelled Internet Infidelity. Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. 337 Except for, for instance, a partner having phone sex, almost all of the items that loaded high on this factor referred to a partner’s sexual involvement with someone else through the Internet. Finally, the fourth factor was labelled Pornography, because the items that loaded highest on this factor all referred to a partner’s involvement with pornography. In the community sample (Sample 2), both the Scree plot and psychological interpretation favoured a three-factor solution that explained 65.12% of the variance. The first factor included partner behaviours that reflected direct acts of emotional or sexual infidelity, such as a partner having oral sex with someone else or sending a romantic letter or postcard to someone of the opposite sex. This factor was therefore labelled Unfaithful Behaviour. The second factor was characterized by high loadings of items that did not openly convey infidelity, but that may raise suspicion, such as a partner spending much of his/ her time with someone of the opposite sex and a partner dancing with someone of the opposite sex. We labelled this factor Suspicious Behaviour. Finally, the third factor was labelled Pornography, because the items that loaded highest on this factor all referred to a partner’s involvement with porn. To examine the extent to which the factor structures in the two samples may be considered equal, we calculated congruence coefficients between the three- and four-factor solutions in the two samples. In order to optimize the opportunity for corresponding factors to be identified as equivalents, the three- and four-factor solutions were orthogonally rotated, using first the student sample structure, then the adult sample structure as the target structure (see Kiers & Groenen, 1996). For the three-factor solution, the mean congruence coefficients after rotation were 0.98, 0.97 and 0.93. These coefficients indicate a high level of correspondence between factors (e.g., Haven & ten Berge, 1977). For the four-factor solution, the mean congruence coefficients after rotation were 0.98, 0.96, 0.93 and 0.90. Again, these coefficients indicate a high level of correspondence between factors (e.g., Haven & ten Berge, 1977), and thereby indicate that the factor structures of the student sample and the adult sample resemble each other to a great extent. To arrive at a communal structure of jealousyevoking partner behaviours, we next conducted simultaneous components analyses (SCAs; Kiers & Ten Berge, 1989; see also Millsap & Meredith, 1988). In PCA, components are determined for a single population (in the present study for the Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 338 student sample respectively the adult sample). SCA aims at finding components that have much in common, and that are based on the same set of weights, for the variables in all populations (two populations in the present study). As in PCA, the components in SCA are constructed in such a way that they explain as much variance as possible, but in all populations simultaneously. SCAs were conducted extracting three, respectively, four components. It turned out that for both the three- and four-component solutions, the separate PCAs were hardly any better, in terms of explained variance, than the SCA, which implies that in both samples, the single sets of weight obtained by the SCAs defines components that are practically as good as the best there are (i.e., those found by PCA). For the three-component solution, PCA explained 54.96% of the variance in the student sample and 65.12% in the adult sample, whereas the SCA explained 54.79 and 64.96%, respectively, in the two samples. For the four-component solution, PCA explained 59.64% of the variance in the student sample and 68.28% in the adult sample, whereas SCA explained 59.42 and 67.99% of the variance, respectively. In terms of explained variance, the largest difference found between the PCA and the SCA solutions was for the four-component solution in the adult sample, and was equal to just 0.29% explained variance. These results indicate that the SCA solution can be confidently used to obtain a communal structure of jealousy evoking partner behaviours. Based on psychological interpretation, we favoured the four-component SCA solution, which is listed in Table 2 (samples combined). The first two components closely resemble the Unfaithful Behaviour and Suspicious Behaviour components that were found in the two samples using PCA. The majority of the partner behaviours associated with the third component deal with viewing pornographic material. This component was therefore labelled Pornography. The fourth component consists of items that in a slightly different form also appeared in the first two components (e.g., ‘Your partner sends a romantic letter or postcard to someone of the opposite sex’ versus ‘Your partner sends a romantic email or chat to someone of the opposite sex’; ‘Your partner shares a strong emotional bond with someone of the opposite sex’ versus ‘Your partner shares a strong emotional bond with someone he/she communicates with through the Internet’). An important feature of this fourth component is that, with the exception of one item, all items describe partner behaviours that involve the use of modern communication Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. P. Dijkstra et al. media (computers and telephone). Moreover, all items refer primarily to an emotional (i.e., nonsexual) investment. This fourth component was therefore labelled Technological Investment. The components Unfaithful Behaviour and Pornography also contained some items that referred to the use of, for example, the Internet, but were assigned to these components probably as a result of their explicitly unfaithful or pornographic content. On the basis of these four components, scales were constructed. Excluded were items with an absolute factor loading <0.50 and items with a secondary absolute loading that differed ≤0.10 from their primary absolute loading (four items: ‘Your partner visits a chat box on sex’; ‘Your partner has sex with someone else in a virtual community, such as Second Life’; ‘Your partner has sexual fantasies about someone else’; ‘Your partner shares his/her feelings and secrets with someone of the opposite sex’). The remaining behaviours classified under each of the components were used to obtain the following four scales: Unfaithful Behaviour (15 items, alpha = 0.96), Suspicious Behaviours (14 items, alpha = 0.93), Pornography (5 items, alpha = 0.89), and Technological Investment (4 items, alpha = 0.89). Table 3 shows the correlations between these scales. To examine the validity of the scales, correlations were computed between the four scales and the trait jealousy scale. Correlations between trait jealousy and the four scales were r = 0.27 for Unfaithful Behaviour, r = 0.57 for Suspicious Behaviour, r = 0.25 for Pornography and r = 0.31 for Technological Investment (all ps < 0.01; see Table 3). Table 4 lists the mean item scores for these scales for the two samples separately for men and women. To examine differences between the two samples, as well as potential sex differences, a MANOVA was conducted using Participant Sex and Sample as grouping variables and the four scales as depen- Table 3. Correlations between clusters of jealousyevoking partner behaviours and trait jealousy SB Suspicious Behaviour (SB) Unfaithful Behaviour (UB) Pornography (P) Technological Investment (TI) Trait Jealousy (TJ) UB P TI TJ 0.46 0.57 0.69 0.57 0.36 0.63 0.27 0.57 0.25 0.31 0.46 0.57 0.69 0.36 0.63 0.57 0.57 0.27 0.25 0.31 Correlations are all significant (ps < 0.01). Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 339 Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours Table 4. Mean jealousy scores as a function of sample and gender (standard deviation between brackets) Adults Men Suspicious Behaviour Unfaithful Behaviour Pornography Technological Investment 1.94a1 (.76) 3.89a2 (1.02) 2.12ac3 (.99) 2.94ac4 (1.16) Students Women 2.30b1 4.19b2 2.53b3 3.55b4 (.87) (.97) (1.22) (1.20) Men Women 2.52b1 (.60) 3.99ab2 (1.11) 1.78c3 (.89) 2.39a1(1.16) 2.46b1 (.60) 4.23b2 (.90) 1.79c3 (.90) 3.00c4(1.03) Superscript letters refer to differences between columns. An a–b combination, for example, refers to a statistically significant difference (p < 0.01), and an a–a combination to a non-statistical difference. Superscript numbers refer to differences within columns. Means with different superscript numbers differ significantly (p < 0.01). dent variables. A significant multivariate effect of Participant Sex emerged (F[4, 730] = 3.50, p < 0.01), which univariately could be attributed to Technological Investment (F[1, 643] = 12.14, p < 0.001): women experienced more jealousy than men in response to investments in someone else through modern communication media. In addition, a significant multivariate sample effect was found (F[4, 730] = 19.03, p < 0.001), which could be univariately attributed to Unfaithful Behaviour (F = 19.71, p < 0.001) and Suspicious Behaviour (F = 18.50, p < 0.001), with students reporting higher levels of jealousy. The multivariate interaction between Sample and Participant Sex was not significant (F[4, 730]) = 1.78, p = 0.13). To further examine the main effect for sample, an additional MANCOVA was conducted using the same dependent and independent variables, but now also entering age as a covariate. The mean age of the two samples differs substantially (mean ages are 20 for the student sample, and 49 for the community sample, see Method section; t = 40.17, p < 0.001), and might therefore be the reason behind the main sample effect that was found. When entering age as a covariate in the MANCOVA, multivariate significant effects were found for Participant Sex (F[4, 729] = 4.24, p < 0.01) and for Participant Age (F[4, 729] = 22.22, p < 0.001), but not for Sample (F[4, 729] = 1.19, p = 0.31). This suggests that indeed the significant main effect for sample might be attributed primarily to the large age difference between the two samples. Finally, t-tests showed that, across samples and sexes, a partner’s unfaithful behaviour evoked more jealousy than the other three types of partner behaviours (see Table 4). Among both adult men and women, a partner’s technological investments evoked the second most feelings of jealousy, followed by a partner’s involvement with pornography and a partner’s suspicious behaviours. Among students, men and women differed somewhat. Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Among women, a partner’s Technological Investments evoked more jealousy than a partner’s suspicious behaviours, whereas among men, these two partner behaviours evoke about equal intensities of jealousy. Among students, a partner’s involvement with pornography evoked the least feelings of jealousy (see Table 4). DISCUSSION The aim of the present study was to make a finegrained inventory of partner behaviours that may evoke romantic jealousy and the extent to which they do. In addition, the present study examined the influence of gender and age on the jealousy-evoking effect of these partner behaviours. Although, initially, in our two samples, different factor structures emerged, congruencies between these two-factor solutions were high, indicating that the two factor structures were highly comparable. A four-factor solution, distinguishing the factors Technological Investments, Suspicious Behaviours, Unfaithful Behaviours and Pornography, appeared to be the most satisfactory structure in both samples. In both of our samples, clearly a partner’s unfaithful behaviours, containing acts such as having sex with someone else and falling in love with someone else, evoked most jealousy, in both men and women. This finding is consistent with those of previous studies that have shown clear acts of infidelity to evoke strong feelings of ‘fait-accompli’ (e.g., Parrott, 1991) or ‘reactive’ jealousy (e.g., Buunk, 1997), i.e., a type of jealousy that is characterized by strong feelings of anger, hurt and betrayal (Buunk & Dijkstra, 2005). These feelings are presumed to protect the relationship from further harm by communicating to the unfaithful partner that one does not accept his/her infidelity (e.g., Barelds & Dijkstra, 2007). An important finding of our study is that a partner’s involvement with someone else by Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 340 means of technological equipment is perceived to be relatively jealousy evoking as well. Except for male undergraduates, the emotional or romantic sharing of feelings by means of the mobile telephone and Internet generally evoked more feelings of jealousy than ‘non-virtual’ suspicious behaviours, such as fantasizing about someone else or dancing with someone else. A possible explanation is that suspicious behaviours displayed through modern communication devices are often difficult to check by the partner and have a relatively high chance of remaining secretive. Women especially found a partner’s technological involvement with someone else distressing. A possible explanation is that women generally have worse computer skills than men, and, as a consequence, may feel they have less control over their partner’s activities on the Internet. For instance, in the Netherlands, 62% of women report having no or only little computer skills, compared with 48% of men (Central Bureau of Statistics, 2006). Consistent with Whitty’s (2005)findings our studies indicate that even though people cannot physically touch each other, extra-dyadic involvement over the Internet is perceived as a severe act of infidelity and a break of trust that evokes jealousy and that may severely undermine relationship functioning. In contrast, a partner’s involvement in pornography evoked least jealousy in our participants. A possible explanation is that, for intense feelings of jealousy to occur, some type of interaction has to take place between one’s partner and a rival. As a result, although looking at pornographic pictures in magazines or on the Internet may be considered a sexual behaviour, it may not be perceived as a threat to relationship stability. Interesting were also our findings with respect to age and jealousy. In our older sample, we found that, with age, individuals felt less jealous in response to a partner’s suspicious behaviour and unfaithful behaviours. This finding is consistent with findings of Dijkstra and Buunk (2002)that with age, individuals responded with less jealousy to rival’s characteristics, such as physical attractiveness and intelligence. A likely explanation is that, with age, individuals have longer relationships and experience less relationship insecurity and higher trust. Perhaps, in the past, their relationship has already suffered from extra-dyadic sex, and couples may have learned how to overcome problems of infidelity. As a result, they may feel less jealous in response to both suspicious as well as explicit extra-dyadic behaviours on the part of their partner. It must be noted, however, that, in our Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. P. Dijkstra et al. sample of older adults, the reverse was found for a partner’s involvement with porn: these partner behaviours tended to evoke more jealousy as individuals were older, especially among women. This finding may be explained by the fact that pornographic pictures usually feature young and highly physically attractive men and women. As people become older, they generally become less physically attractive (e.g., Teuscher & Teuscher, 2007). As a result, they may feel that they cannot compete with the physically attractive actors or models in pornographic movies or pictures. Theoretical and Clinical Implications Although virtual acts of infidelity are often experienced as extremely hurtful by the betrayed partner, in many cases leading couples to separate or divorce (e.g., Schneider, 2003), Internet infidelity has only recently been adopted as a topic of scientific research. From a theoretical point of view, studying virtual infidelity is interesting because it helps understand the nature of virtual infidelity. Our findings show that a partner’s suspicious behaviours by means of modern communication devices such as the Internet evoke as much jealousy as other, life acts of (potential) infidelity, suggesting that, in both cases, the same psychological mechanism of jealousy is triggered. A possible explanation is that our brain registers virtual events as ‘real’ ones and responds accordingly (e.g., Mathiak & Weber, 2006). Thus, from a cognitive point of view, individuals may become involved in cyber affairs as if they were real-life affairs. This may also be true for the betrayed partner: when the infidelity is uncovered, the partner may respond as if the affair were a real life one. Support for this explanation has, for instance, been found by studies on violent videogames. In response to violent video games, the brain responds as if the threat and violence are real, stimulating the body to produce more testosterone and cortisol (e.g., Mazur, Susman, & Edelbrock, 1997). In line with this explanation is also a study by Groothof, Dijkstra and Barelds (in press) that showed that men and women tended to respond similarly to a partner’s sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity, whether offline or online. An alternative explanation is that infidelity over the Internet, either sexual or emotional, often leads to offline infidelity. Schneider (2003), for instance, found that about 18% of her sample of married individuals involved in cyber sex activities had progressed from virtual affaires to life sexual encounters with Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 341 Jealousy-Evoking Partner Behaviours other people. This 18% contained, however, only those people who admitted their real life infidelity to their partner. It is, therefore, likely that for much more individuals, Internet infidelity is the first step towards real life infidelity. As a result, although physical contact though the Internet is impossible, a partner’s virtual infidelity may evoke so much jealousy because it is perceived as an antecedent of ‘real’ infidelity. In general, marital infidelity has been found to be one of the most difficult problems to treat, and therapists often feel unprepared for this kind of work (Whisman et al., 1997). The present study may help therapist identify those partner behaviours that are perceived as most hurtful by the betrayed partner and that should be the focus of therapy. Identifying jealousy-evoking partner behaviours may also prevent (further) infidelity from occurring, by helping partners define the boundaries of their relationship: which partner behaviours are acceptable and which are not (Dijkstra, 2004)? This is an important issue, because partners often disagree about what behaviours should be considered unfaithful, especially with regard to activities on the Internet. Whitty (2005), for instance, found that whereas some people consider a secret friendship with a person of the opposite sex that is maintained over the internet a clear act of infidelity, others view this behaviour as acceptable, because no extra-dyadic physical contact is involved. In addition, defining what partner behaviours evoke most jealousy is important when diagnosing pathological forms of jealousy. When a client responds with excessive jealousy in response to those partner behaviours our study found to evoke relatively few feelings of jealousy, such as a partner looking at attractive models in a magazine or on television, jealousy may no longer be reasonable, and a client may suffer from pathological jealousy. Finally, our findings clearly show that attention should be paid to a partner’s extra-dyadic behaviours by means of modern communication devices. In this context, it seems wise for therapists also to assess the possibility of compulsive online use (Millner, 2008; Young et al., 2000). If infidelity is accompanied by sexually compulsive behaviours, couples counselling is best run concurrently with addiction counselling (Bird, 2006). In addition, for those people suffering from symptoms of sexual compulsivity, external Internet censors such as CyberPatrol and NetNanny may be helpful (Millner, 2008). Regardless of the type of unfaithful partner behaviour, secrecy in the marriage associated with the (Internet) affair must be reversed by helping Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. the unfaithful partner construct openness in his/her behaviour (Glass, 2003; Millner, 2008). With regard to Internet infidelity, this process may be facilitated by helping individuals—especially women—whose partner has been unfaithful, to develop adequate computer skills. Adequate computer skills—knowing how to email, visit chat boxes or porn sites—may help the betrayed partner to regain a sense of control. Also, to help restore trust, partners have to agree on new boundaries, also with regard to Internet use (e.g., Snyder, Baucom, & Gordon, 2007). The relatively high levels of jealousy that are evoked by partner behaviours on the Internet also suggest that, to best help their clients, therapists themselves should develop adequate computer skills (see also Millner, 2008). Limitations and Strengths Although it is the most commonly used method in jealousy-research, asking participants how they would respond in the hypothetical situation that their partner would be unfaithful may not generate responses that reliably reflect how individuals would behave if infidelity would actually occur to them. Nonetheless, these responses may provide an index of how subjects tend to react to a comparable situation in ‘real’ life (Shettel-Neuber, Bryson, & Young, 1978). Other methods carry with them a great deal of risk: attempts to create jealousy in existing relationships carry with them a great ethical risk that may be difficult to justify, whereas attempts to observe naturally occurring incidents of jealousy suffer from a lack of adequate experimental control. In addition, the present study’s focus was relatively narrow. We focused our study on jealousy-evoking partner behaviours, neglecting the interplay between these behaviours, and, for instance, rival characteristics or personality characteristics of the jealous partner. Nonetheless, we feel that, for several reasons, the present research contributes to the literature. First, in contrast to previous studies, the present paper investigated the most important partner behaviours that may evoke jealousy, rather than a few isolated or intuitively chosen partner behaviours. Second, in contrast to most previous studies, the present paper studied jealousy in a sample of older individuals. Third, the present study contributes to the literature for a more practical reason. Therapists are still struggling with the issue of Internet infidelity and the jealousy that results from it (Zola, 2007), and treatment models for Internet infidelity and its Clin. Psychol. Psychother. 17, 329–345 (2010) DOI: 10.1002/cpp 342 aftermath are still in its developing stages (Hertlein & Piercy, 2006). The present study, one of the few on the topic of jealousy in response to a partner’s involvement with media and Internet rivals, may help therapists develop such treatment models. Finally, the growing number of people involved in Internet infidelity necessitates both researchers and therapists to learn more about the impact and aftermath of virtual affairs. We hope our study contributes to this goal and invites future studies to further elaborate on the jealousy-evoking effect of partner behaviours, especially those regarding a partner’s involvement with media and Internet rivals. REFERENCES Archer, J., & Webb, I.A. (2006). The relation between scores on the Buss-Perry Aggression Questionnaire and aggressive acts, impulsiveness, competitiveness, dominance, and sexual jealousy. Aggressive Behavior, 32, 464–473. 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