Audition Monologue Options *Please pick One (1) monologue and memorize it for the auditions. You may be asked to read another monologue from the selections.* Millie: -From Thoroughly Modern Millie (girls)
Hey, I’m broke, not poor. There a big difference. Poor sounds permanent, broke can be fixed. I have a plan so far ahead of its time it’s almost too bold, too daring, too new woman! I’m going to marry my boss. I don’t know when. As a matter of fact, I haven’t got one yet. Love has nothing to do with it! Don’t you read Vogue? This month’s issue clearly states that modern marriage is a business arrangement. Love comes later, occasionally with the man you’re actually married to. I’m looking for him in the classifieds. I’ve been interviewing boss after boss, but so far, married, married, engaged, married, single-­‐and-­‐I-­‐can-­‐see-­‐
why… I even read in the tabloids “Manhattan’s most eligible bachelors, the movers and shakers that make Manhattan tick!” ... all of them need wives... and at least one of them must need a stenog! -­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ Lucy: From You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown (girls)
Now Linus, I want you to take a good look at Charlie Brown's face. Would
you please hold still a minute, Charlie Brown, I want Linus to study your
face. Now, this is what you call a Failure Face, Linus. Notice how it has
failure written all over it. Study it carefully, Linus. You rarely see such a
good example. Notice the deep lines, the dull, vacant look in the eyes. Yes, I
would say this is one of the finest examples of a Failure Face that you're
liable to see for a long while.
-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ BLUE FAIRY – From Pinocchio (girls)
Dearest Pinocchio. I will always be your teacher, and your friend, if you will
listen to me, and tell the truth—to me, and to yourself, and to your Papa. Yes
Pinocchio, your Papa, who made you and loves you and who wished to have
a real, live little boy for his son. If you are honest, Pinocchio, and if you
work hard and love your Papa—I will make you this promise. Pinocchio, the
puppet, will die, and Pinocchio the real boy will be born. I am with you
when you need me. Love your Papa, Pinocchio. Love is a sacrifice and a
special treasure... the richer for the finding. Goodbye.
SHREK: - From Shrek the musical (boys)
Once upon a time there was a little ogre named Shrek who lived with his
parents in a bog by a tree. It was a pretty nasty place, but he was happy
because ogres like nasty. On his 7th birthday, the little ogre’s parents left
him all alone. Ah, I know it’s sad, very sad, but ogres are used to that. So,
the little ogre found a perfectly rancid swamp far away from civilization and
whenever a mob came along to burn him at the stake, he knew exactly what
to do. ROOAAR! (Beat) I said ROOAAR! Listen, donkey, take a look at
me. I’m an ogre! You know-grab your torch and pitchforks! Doesn’t that
bother you? (Beat) Alright, look, you can come with me on one condition.
You keep the jabbering to a minimum. For your information, there’s a lot
more to ogres than people think. Ogres are like onions. (Beat) No, not
because they stink. And not because they make you cry. Layers! Onions
have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers-you get it? We both have
layers! (Beat) No! Ogres are not like parfaits! You know, this may turn into
the longest day of my entire life.
-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐-­‐ Lucy: - You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown (girls)
Do you know what I intend? I intend to be a queen. When I grow up I’m
going to be the biggest queen there ever was, and I’ll live in a big palace and
when I go out in my coach, all the people will wave and I will shout at them,
and...and...in the summertime I will go to my summer palace and I’ll wear
my crown in swimming and everything, and all the peo ple will cheer and I
will shout at them... What do you mean I can’t be queen? Nobody should be
kept from being a queen if she wants to be one. It’s usually just a matter of
knowing the right people.. ..well.... if I can’t be a queen, then I’ll be very
rich then I will buy myself a queendom. Yes, I will buy myself a queendom
and then I’ll kick out the old queen and take over the whole operation
myself. I will be head queen.
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Willy Wonka – From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (boys)
Bless you Charlie, you did it! You did it!!!! I created this contest with one
purpose in mind. To find the perfect person to make new candy dreams
come true. This was a test of character Charlie. I carefully selected rooms
that would tempt each of our Golden Ticket winners. You, Charlie, did
something quite remarkable. You gave in to temptation, you were smart
enough not to get caught—and yet, you admitted your guilt. Charlie, do you
love my Factory? Because from this moment on, it’s yours!
Caterpillar – From Alice and Wonderland (boys or girls)
Oh, don’t let those dried out little annuals get you down, kid.
Listen, sweetiepie, lambchop, honeydew – they’re just gonna
wind up sitting around in somebody’s imitation cut glass vase
for three days ‘til they wither and die, then it’s “thanks a lot”
and out with the garbage! But enough about them. Whooooo,
pray tell, are youuuuuuu? I am whoever you want me to be, if
I, in fact, am indeed whoever I say I am or someday hope to
be. I’m the Caterpillar, kiddo, your wonder of wonders, your
miracle of miracles, your happy, happy day! You dig?