1
Proverbs 1:8-19
E-mails to our children
PR1302
January 13, 2013 am
Proverbs (wisdom)
“THE FOLLY OF FRIENDS”
INTRODUCTION: The book of Proverbs opens with 13 “fatherly talks.”
1. They came from two sources…
a. Ten (10) appeals from Solomon to his son (i.e., Rehoboam)
b. Three (3) from “Lady Wisdom) (preincarnate Christ)
2. These 13 discourses I have titled “Emails to our Children”
a. 18 times “sons” are addressed:
i. Fourteen times “My sons”
ii. Three times “O sons”
iii. Once “O men”
b. Like letters of advice to young men (our sons)
c. In the past, godly men wrote letters to their sons and daughters, often later collected into books.
d. Today we would email the exhortations to godly living to our children.
e. Note: I am dating myself as “old fashioned.” We older folks now email while our children “text”
or “twitter.”
3. But…I am an older man (as Solomon was), and so I will still call these “emails to our children.” 
4. Solomon writes to his son, more than likely Rehoboam, the crown prince and heir apparent to the throne of
Israel.
5. Solomon speaks to Rehoboam about ten things –
a. The Folly of Friends (1:8-19)
b. The Two Paths to Life (2:1-22)
c. The Six Pillars of Life (3:1-20)
d. How to Love Your Neighbor (3:21-35)
e. Three Keys to a Long Life (4:1-19)
f. Guarding the Springs of Life (4:20-27)
g. The Wife of Your Youth (5:1-23)
h. Learning from Failure (6:1-19)
i. The Price of “Free Sex” (6:20-35)
j. The Way of the Adulteress (7:1-27)
6. Lady Wisdom (Jesus Christ) speaks to Rehoboam three times – each time about wisdom.
a. Help for the Simple-Minded (1:20-33)
2
b. The Call of Wisdom (8:1-36)
c. The Two Great Houses of Mankind (9:1-18)
7. The great themes of life, great issues of living, and the great mistakes people make are set forth in these 13
emails to our children.
8. Duane A. Garrett and Kenneth Laing Harris (ESV Study Bible; p. 1133) give us some practical advice
about how to understand the Proverbs. Here’s what they recommend: “Proverbs often seem to be mere
observations about life, but their deeper meanings will reveal themselves if the following grid is applied:
a. What virtue does the Proverb commend?
b. What vice does it hold up for disapproval?
c. What value does it affirm?
9. Look, for example, at a very well-known Proverb:
a. Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
b. The Virtue: Humility
c. The Vice: Pride
d. The Value: Avoiding arrogant destruction
10. Tremper Longman: How to Read the Proverbs: There are 5 sources of wisdom
a. Observation: watching other people in life
b. Instruction: the tradition and training of your elders
c. Mistakes: living life and failure
d. Revelation: the Scripture (preaching)
e. Piety: the fear of the Lord (reverence)
11. A word to young people – older people are far more experienced and far better versed in these five
sources of wisdom than young people could ever be!
a. They have observed life longer than children have.
b. They have learned the lessons of the elders over decades.
c. They have made more mistakes and learned more lessons than the youth.
d. They have spent more time in God’s Word (revelation).
e. They are usually more reverent, pious and godly than teenagers, college kids or young married
couples.
12. Sometimes a younger person will say to me, “Who are you to tell me what to do? And who asked you for
advice?”
13. I have three responses to that question –
a. First, such questions reveal the heart of a young fool headed for trouble and ruin.
3
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Prov. 1:7)
b. Second, I am an older man who knows enough from life and living to tell young people what to do!
Gray hair is a crown of glory;
it is gained in a righteous life. (Proverbs 16:31)
Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
and the glory of children is their fathers.
(Proverbs 17:6)
The glory of young men is their strength,
but the splendor of old men is their gray hair. (Proverbs 20:29)
c. Third, God asked my advice; that I might give it to younger folks.
O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
your power to all those to come. (Psalm 71:17-18)
14. Why? Because I like “bossing around” younger people and “showing off” how much I know? No, I have
two reasons why I want you to know wisdom –
a. First: so that you younger folks will not make the same foolish, sinful mistakes my generation
made in the 1960’s and 1970’s –
Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;
incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.
He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments;
and that they should not be like their fathers,
4
a stubborn and rebellious generation,
a generation whose heart was not steadfast,
whose spirit was not faithful to God. (Psalm 78:1-8)
b. Second: because I care for you, I love you, and want your life to be blessed in every way, as my life
has been –
My son, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments,
for length of days and years of life
and peace they will add to you.
Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
bind them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good success
in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:1-4)
c. Remember: Wisdom is the skill of living in such a way that we are blessed by God and become a
blessing to God and others.
15. Kenneth Myers is the creator and producer of the Mars Hill Audio Journal –
a. A journalist for NPR, and later editor for Eternity Magazine.
b. A “think tank” for Christians engaging Christ and culture
c. He recently made this astute observation –
I believed that there was a need for Christian journalism committed to exploring cultural wisdom.
A lot of what passed for engagement seemed to lack understanding about how culture worked,
about how and why modern culture had taken the shape it had, and about what a culture might look
like if the consequences of a Christian understanding of all aspects of life were fully explored and
implemented. I think it’s because of the characteristic dualism that afflicts so much of American
Christianity, a dualism that separates religion and culture, redemption and creation, piety and
reason, soul and body, faith and faithfulness. The wisdom required by love demands that we
discern the difference—in theory and in practice—between forms of cultural life that are in keeping
with the grain of the universe and those that will (eventually) cause splinters.
Perhaps the greatest contemporary threat to cultural wisdom (and hence to properly loving God
and neighbor) comes from those who insist that the grace announced in the Gospel eliminates any
need to strive for discernment or faithfulness. Efforts to think Christianly or to live in a way that
resists the disorders of a confused culture are regarded as legalistic or Pelagian. This trendy
antinomianism is yet another expression of modern dualism. The message of the Gospel is on this
account only about personal salvation. It offers no guidance concerning the living of life beyond
the sheer assent of believing faith. But the rejection of any deliberate practicing of the
consequences of faith (cf. Titus 2) means that the culture around us will shape how we live and how
we understand reality. As I said above, modern dualism (in its secular and its evangelical
varieties) separates religion and culture, redemption and creation, piety and reason, soul and body,
faith and faithfulness.
5
16. I want to suggest to you this morning that a dangerous form of this dualism, especially prevalent in the
West, and especially among our youth is…
a. The over-reliance upon fallen culture for guidance
b. Dualism: Wisdom of Parents vs. Opinions of Foolish Friends
c. “Peer Pressure” trumps all of life, and…
d. Even parents are giving into it
17. Solomon has something to say about that:
a. Email #1: The Folly of Friends
b. Three voices in life and young people must decide to which one they should listen…
c. Proverbs 1:8-19
18. Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.
My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;
let us ambush the innocent without reason;
like Sheol let us swallow them alive,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
we shall find all precious goods,
we shall fill our houses with plunder;
throw in your lot among us;
we will all have one purse”—
my son, do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood.
For in vain is a net spread
in the sight of any bird,
but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
they set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
it takes away the life of its possessors. (Proverbs 1:8-19)
I.
VOICE #1: THE WISE VOICE OF YOUR PARENTS (Proverbs 1:8-10)
Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
6
and pendants for your neck.
My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent. (Proverbs 1:8-10)
1. The Book of Proverbs begins with the voice of parents: a father and a mother:
a. Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck. (Proverbs 1:8-9)
b. Robert L. Alden: Proverbs: A Commentary on an Ancient Book of Timeless Advice; p. 23.
Verse 8 has the first “my son” passage in Proverbs. While daughters are not mentioned
specifically they could be included especially today because now they have as much freedom to
make decisions as do sons. It is interesting to note that both parents are included here. It is the
“advice” of the father and the “teaching” or “law” (Hebrew torah) of the mother that the child
should heed. We might conclude from this verse that not only must children honor both parents
but also that both parents are responsible for teaching and training their children. Neither
wisdom nor spiritual things are the exclusive responsibility of one parent.
c. In Hebrew poetry and Proverbs, parallelism is the way things “rhyme.”
d. Father’s instruction and Mother’s “torah” are one in the same (equal), but there is also a shade
of difference.
e. Fathers are the primary “teachers” of the family: advice, instruction, educational principles are
the chief responsibility.
f. Mothers are primarily law-givers (torah): They set forth the do’s and don’ts that implement a
father’s principles and precepts.
g. A child (youth) is responsible to “honor” both the Dad’s principles and the Mother’s
prescriptions.
h. Why? To live a long and blessed life.
2. The purpose for obeying the wisdom of parents is to bless the children with a long, happy, holy and
secure (safe) life.
a. …for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck. (Proverbs 1:9)
b. “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your
God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
c. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this
is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live
long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)
d. Note: Two forces for good in the child’s life
i. Discipline: a mother’s torah (law)
ii. Instruction in the Lord: a father’s guidance
7
e. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all
your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you
today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of
them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and
when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets
between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
(Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
“When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the
statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your
son, ‘We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty
hand. And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against
Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. And he brought us out from there, that he might
bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. And the Lord commanded
us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve
us alive, as we are this day. And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this
commandment before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us.’ (Deuteronomy 6:20-25)
3. What Solomon (and his wife) are advocating here is really what we call common sense.
a. That acquired and accrued wisdom that older people gather, over millennia, to pass on to their
kids.
i. Parents
ii. Pastors
iii. Teachers
iv. Persons in positions of authority
b. The common sense of living wisely and living well
i. Common: shared by the community (majority)
ii. Sense: an instinct gained by experience (senses)
iii. i.e., community sensibility: wisdom of the elders
4. Unfortunately, common sense has died in our own time!
a. Originally in the Indianapolis Star; March 15, 1998
b. Printed in the London Times 1-26-2009 by Graham Sudd
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for
many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost
in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair; and
8
- Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn)
and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate
rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they
themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun
lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own
home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming
cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge
settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion,
by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because
so few realized he was gone..
If you still remember him, pass this on.
If not, join the majority and do nothing.
c. Lori Borgman wrote the American Obituary for “The Late Mr. Common Sense;” Jan. 8, 2013.
Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on the brink of
the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes and factories, and helping
folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and
9
frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution,
Common Sense survived trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But
his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it"
virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well
intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zerotolerance policies.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal
judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of
developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking
chairs, and stepladders. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two
stepbrothers and a stepsister: My Rights, Only Me and Ima Whiner.
5. Where did this common sense come from, and why should children listen to it, since it’s usually not
fun?
6. David F. Wells answers this for us in No Place for Truth (or Whatever Happened to Evangelical
Theology), p. 84-85 (1993).
a. In the past, Western society was held together by three sinews: tradition, authority, and power.
To change the image, these were the garments that covered Western society, and without them it
has become indecent. Of these three, tradition might have been the first to go, although it went
hand in hand with authority.
b. Did you catch those three forces for good?
i. Tradition: wisdom and values for living
ii. Authority: moral and theological truth
iii. Power: laws that reinforce tradition and authority
c. Tradition is the process whereby one generation inducts its successor into its accumulated
wisdom, lore, and values. The family once served as the chief conduit for this transmission, but
the family is now collapsing, not merely because of divorce but as a result of affluence and the
innovations of a technological age. Film and television now provide the sorts of values that
were once provided by the family. So it is that in the new civilization that is emerging, children
are lifted away from the older values like anchorless boats on a rising tide.
d. Parents have failed to pass on Christian traditions to their children and youth: Trendiness has
replaced tradition!
e. At the same time, society finds that it can no longer recognize appeals to authority, for any
transcendent realm in which these appeals might be lodged has vanished from sight. The
Christian theism on which Western societies were built was replaced by idealism of one kind or
another. This idealism still had a transcendent interest, but it was no longer theistic. Then the
idealism collapsed during the nineteenth century. Initially it was replaced by a kind of
10
humanism that was elevated in its ethical and aesthetic interests, but as such it had no durable
conceptual base, and so it fell apart.
f. Pastors have failed to pass on Biblical Authority to their congregations and families: Programs,
entertainment, and counseling have replaced preaching, worship, and discipleship!
g. The three tendons have thus been reduced. Tradition and authority have been severed; only
power remains. It is power alone that must direct our corporate life, power severed from a
moral order that might contain and correct it and from the values of the past that might inform
it. In a strange testimony to this inner vacuum, the profession of law has risen to such
prominence in America that 70 percent of all the lawyers in the world practice here. In the
absence of moral obligation and a sense of what is right, disputes are extraordinarily difficult to
resolve, and so the set of rules that has emerged under the law must take on duties that were
once shouldered by a variety of other institutions – the family, the schools, the church.
h. Magistrates have failed to root civil law in their moral order and spiritual authority: Political
correctness has replaced principled justice!
7. Why do we wonder why homes are ruined, churches are gutted and society is failing? Biblically
informed common sense has died…and few people noticed!
8. Do we doubt this? Look at the facts…read the statistics: If you work for an organization that has
around 600 employees, here is what is true of your co-workers
a. 29 have been accused of spouse abuse
b. 7 have been arrested for fraud
c. 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
d. 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
e. 3 have done time for assault
f. 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
g. 4 have been arrested on drug-related charges
h. 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
i. 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
j. 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
k. In case you’re interested, the organization from which I garnered these statistics was the 635
member House of Commons – the ruling body of the United Kingdom!
l. And I imagine that these statistics would be very similar for our 435 U.S. Representatives and
100 Senators!
m. So, mom and dad say to their children, teens and young adults –
a. “My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent…” (v. 10a)
b. Wise parents have learned what happens when tradition, authority and power break
down…
11
II.
VOICE #2: THE FOOLISH VOICE OF YOUR FRIENDS (Proverbs 1:11-14)
If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;
let us ambush the innocent without reason;
like Sheol let us swallow them alive,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
we shall find all precious goods,
we shall fill our houses with plunder;
throw in your lot among us;
we will all have one purse”— (Proverbs 1:11-14)
1. Hear now the call of a young person’s friends, in this case foolish and lawless friends…
2. The appeal to join in a life of rebellion, excitement, self-rule and quick wealth.
3. The force behind this appeal of peer pressure is the need to be “one of the gang.”
4. Derek Kidner: Proverbs: TOTC; pp. 60-61.
a. The contrast between the voice of one’s parents and the voice of one’s friends.
b. The first way (8, 9) has none of the flashy appeal of the second: it offers nothing material, only
the hard-won beauty and authority of goodness. With the description of the second way, the
sting is in the tail. The proposal of 11-14 owes its attractiveness to its offer (in common with all
temptation) of a quick route to excitement and power (the youth pictures himself a person to be
reckoned with, instead of patronized and kept in his place) and, above all, of acceptance as ‘one
of the gang.’
c. The power of one’s friends (peer pressure)
5. The frightening thing about American youth is their utter addiction to and unquestioned faith in their
other immature, inexperienced and inadequate friends.
6. Please allow me to illustrate this truth in three ways:
a. Choice of church: Parents are now caving into the tantrums and pouting of teenyboppers about
where to go to church.
i. Reason #1 – “All my friends are there”
ii. Reason #2 – “I like the music”
iii. Ignore these facts: The church ignores (ridicules) ageless tradition; mocks older
ministers; deprecates doctrine; encourages rebellion; and shamelessly promotes itself
even over Jesus Christ.
iv. These churches disdain wisdom and celebrate folly!
b. Gathering information: One young person told their parents, “30% of Americans are
homosexual. How can the church ignore these people or hate them?”
i. When asked by Mom, “Where’d you get that figure?” The response was “My friends!
Everyone knows it’s true.”
ii. Dad sent Junior to the internet and then to the library to do a little research.
12
iii. Results: Junior found that less than 3.25% of Americans identified themselves as gay or
lesbian.
c. Addiction to smartphones: Young people (and, sadly, more and more older people) cannot
carry on a conversation. Their faces are buried in their iPhones.
i. Checking email, texting, surfing the web, or playing games…
ii. …or “twittering”: mindless banter and a worthless stream of consciousness…”
iii. Angry birds, temple run, jetpack joy ride
iv. Search for “games” on your iPhone: 151,478 choices.”
v. Right now, as I speak, several of you are checking email, playing a game, texting a
friend or “twittering.” But I am speaking to you from God and His Word, giving you
inspired wisdom, from a lifetime of experience…
vi. …but you’re addicted to your friends! Foolish friends at that!
7. “Pastor,” you ask, “isn’t this a bit overkill? Why, being around my friends doesn’t necessarily lead to
crime, blood and death!”
a. No, not at first
b. But, over time, “bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33)
c. And foolish friends ruin parental wisdom!
8. Charles Bridges: An Exposition on the Book of Proverbs; pp. 6-7.
Not that this horrible plot is usually propounded at first. But step by step, unless the Lord graciously
restrains, it may come to this at last. The cover and varnish are here taken off, to show what sin is in
its nature, character, and certain end. What young man, but would shudder, and start away from the
wickedness, if presented to his imagination alone? But many a deluded sinner is thus hurried on by the
influence of company to lengths of sin, that he had never contemplated. No one becomes a profligate at
one. The tender conscience becomes less sensitive by every compliance. Who can stop himself in the
down-hill road? One sin prepares for another, pleads for it, nay, even makes it necessary for
concealment. Again then—we repeat with all earnestness. The path may be strewed with flowers; but
it is a path of evil, perhaps of blood. Every step on Satan’s ground deprives us of the security of the
promises of God.
III.
VOICE #1: THE WARNING VOICE OF YOUR PARENTS (Proverbs 1:15-19)
…my son, do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood.
For in vain is a net spread
in the sight of any bird,
but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
they set an ambush for their own lives.
13
Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
it takes away the life of its possessors. (Proverbs 1:15-19)
1. The first time father and mother spoke, they gave advice and law; now they speak a second time and
give the warning.
2. This is the way wisdom works: you’ll see it in these 10 Fatherly Talks…emails.
3. Commentator David Atkinson explains their process (The Message of Proverbs: BST; p. 61).
a. These fatherly talks, or discourses, practically all follow a similar pattern. Thus (a) there is an
introductory address, ‘My son’, or something similar, followed by (b) an instruction to hear,
receive or be attentive. Then (c) the virtue of Wisdom in one or another of her forms is extolled,
and the son is told to clothe himself with it. (d) The main theme of each discourse then follows,
usually with an exhortation or a prohibition or a command. (e) Finally, the talk ends with a
reflection on either the happy state of the righteous or the fate of the wicked or the fool.
b. “My Son” (vv. 8 and 15)
c. Instruction to hear and receive wisdom (v.8)
d. The Benefits of Wisdom (listening to parents)
(v. 9)
e. Main Theme & Prohibition (vv. 10-14)
f. The Demise of Fools and Their Ways (v. 15-19)
4. In this section, Solomon and his wife reveal the true motives of the “friends” who encourage rebellion,
lawlessness, and even violence.
a. …for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood. (Prov. 1:16)
b. “evil” – these friends are bad people who
i. Purposefully promote sinful rebellion, or
ii. Naively get caught up in the godless way
c. “They run” to this evil for one of two reasons
i. Delight to do evil (perversion)
ii. Desire for gang approval (peer pressure)
iii. Or both
5. The message of wisdom is clear: trust your parents before you trust your young friends!
6. There is an exception here. Sometimes, rarely, the reverse is true:
a. Tremper Longman: Proverbs: Baker Old Testament Commentary on Old Testament Wisdom
and Psalms; p. 109.
We must be careful, however, not to transfer the authority structure presented in the textual
dynamic to our own real-life situations. At least, not too quickly. The text is not telling all
children to listen without question to their parents. The parents in the book of Proverbs are an
ideal couple. They are wise parents, and not everyone’s parents today are wise in the sense
that Proverbs describes wisdom. In short, Proverbs asks us without reservation to listen to
14
these parents, and to our own parents as they reflect divine wisdom, and we will do so as we
proceed. After all, the rewards are great, according to the book.
b. Some young people have godless parents but godly young friends.
c. Generally speaking the wisdom of parents should trump the influence of your young friends.
7. Go back to the tradition of your family, the authority of the church, and the power of the law before
you give into the peer pressure of your young friends!
CONCLUSION: In the end, it is really not mom and dad who are speaking, but Jesus Christ…
1. In fact, we hear his distinct voice – the third voice – in the very next verse:
Wisdom cries aloud in the street,
in the markets she raises her voice;
at the head of the noisy streets she cries out;
at the entrance of the city gates she speaks:
“How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?
How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing
and fools hate knowledge?
If you turn at my reproof,
behold, I will pour out my spirit to you;
I will make my words known to you. (Proverbs 1:20-23)
2. If you read the Gospels, study the epistles of the apostles, sing the Psalms, listen to the prophets or follow
the narrative of history in the Bible, you will hear the voice of Jesus.
3. And Jesus never speaks through young people, the mob, or the popular culture.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a
man, I gave up childish ways. (1 Cor. 13:11)
4. Jesus always speaks in His Word, through established authority, and from the perspective of tradition,
authority, and power called “wisdom.”
5. Sadly, Rehoboam did not listen to his parents:
a. Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all Israel had come to Shechem to make him king. And as soon
as Jeroboam the son of Nebat heard of it (for he was still in Egypt, where he had fled from King
Solomon), then Jeroboam returned from Egypt. And they sent and called him, and Jeroboam and all
the assembly of Israel came and said to Rehoboam, “Your father made our yoke heavy. Now
therefore lighten the hard service of your father and his heavy yoke on us, and we will serve
you.” He said to them, “Go away for three days, then come again to me.” So the people went away.
Then King Rehoboam took counsel with the old men, who had stood before Solomon his father
while he was yet alive, saying, “How do you advise me to answer this people?” And they said to
him, “If you will be a servant to this people today and serve them, and speak good words to them
when you answer them, then they will be your servants forever.” But he abandoned the counsel that
the old men gave him and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him and stood
15
before him. And he said to them, “What do you advise that we answer this people who have said to
me, ‘Lighten the yoke that your father put on us’?” And the young men who had grown up with him
said to him, “Thus shall you speak to this people who said to you, ‘Your father made our yoke
heavy, but you lighten it for us,’ thus shall you say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my
father's thighs. And now, whereas my father laid on you a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My
father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.’”
(1
Kings 12:1-11)
b. Ignored wise, nurturing, experienced elders
c. Followed foolish, arrogant, cocky young people
d. And in so doing, he lost his kingdom
6. Enough of peer pressure, teenage rebellion and a fixation on friends.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a
man, I gave up childish ways. (1 Cor. 13:11)
7. It is time to turn back to the three sinews of society
a. The tradition of wise parents and family
b. The authority of Biblical pastors and churches
c. The power of God-fearing government and law
8. Jesus Christ is the humble, obedient Son of a perfectly loving and infinitely wise Father. The wisdom
Christ brings us is from “above,” and guarantees to bless us all.
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of
wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the
truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where
jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from
above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial
and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:13-18)
9. In the end, we all have to ask ourselves: Whom do I trust more, my friends or Jesus? And whom do I trust
to speak for Jesus, my friends or my parents, my pastor, my teachers?