Ze Trash
©®
Zee Official Organ of ze
Sans Clue Hash House Harriers
Sunday 25th of May 2003
Issue #513
New coloured edition
The Sans Clue Hash meets EVERY Sunday at
Garches SNCF station car park at 14h00. From
Paris catch the 13h37 train from Gare Paris-StLazare, direction St.-Nom-la-Bretèche, usually
platform 1. Get off at Garches Marnes-la-Coquette.
Early arrivals – follow road up past shops, bends
round to right, drink beer in Chinese pub.
HARELINE
513
25-may-03
514
1-June-03
515
8-juin-03
516
15-juin-03
517
22-juin-03
Make Me An Offer
& Yua Haw
“Omo & Sparky
On-after. See details below
Rumble in the Jungle
DeepThroat & Tarzan
Anal Condom & Cati
Easy Rider & Jumping Jackass
Victoria's Secret
518
29-juin-03
519
6-juil-03
520
521
13-juil-03
20-juil-03
Gonzo the Gob, McGoose &
MaBouche- Scottish Run
HARES NEEDED
Bastille Day!
Hairy Mary
522
27-juil-03
Return to Sender
ZE RUN REPORT
It was run #512, May the 18th of the Year of the
Lord 2003.
The Brave Hares were Pocket Billiards, Yehina
and Pascal.
And the location was the beautiful Parc de Sans
Clue (?)
We all gathered at the same place. All? No!
Make Me An Offer managed to miss the train!
So, poor ‘Omo had to go and pick her up from Saint-Cloud
train station. Bébé, who did not want him to stay alone, and
who had a nice short haircut, said that if you want things to
grow long and strong you have to cut them very short first;
which got ‘Omo to almost have an accident, and he shouted
anxiously: “Do we?”. In fact he missed the beginning of the
conversation and didn’t know she was talking about hair.
The rest of the run was quite wet; it was pissing rain. Poor
Hares! They marked the trail three times.
Hash Trash Editor volunteered McGoose to be this week’s
Scribe and handed him a paper and a beautiful pencil. He took
plenty of notes. But what did he do with that? He gave downdowns! Hey! Too smart for the Hash! He gave the pencil back
though!
RA, e.g. cute Orange Slip (isn’t it MaBouche?) called for the
circle. Thumbs up for the nice but wet trail. Hard luck again!
Of course, Yehina, hose name means The Goddess of
Sunshine, Peace, Love and Sex after the Storm, and Orange
Slip were severely punished. Almost everyone was punished
for different offences. However, we will never know why:
McGoose threw the notes away. Moreover, he sent the
(almost) empty report to Trash Editor who managed to delete
it permanently by error.
After the run, few of us had an informal (but official) on-after
at MMAO’s where we emptied happily few bottles. The
following day there was a complaint from Anal Condom
stating that he was covered with pussy’s hair. Well, MMAO
has two pussies: one white one and one black one. Maybe one
with a lot of shite on? And the Hair? And the Hair? On Anal’s
Condom …
However …I am passing this on to you because it has
definitely worked for me.
By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have
finally found inner peace........
It read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you've started."
I then looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished.
So, today I have finished one bottle of gin, a bottle of red
wine, a
bottle of vodka, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates and
a 6-pack of beer.............
You have no idea how good I feel.
1
You may pass this on to those you feel are in
need of Inner Peace.
Have a bloody marvellous day.
On-on
Your Scribes for this week
McGoose, Make Me An Offer and
‘Omo
ANNOUNCEMENTS
LOCAL SANS CLUE EVENTS
 Hear ye Hear ye Hear ye
A date to remember!
1st of June 2003: On-After @ Elaine & Omo’s (13,
rue Rivay; Levallois). It is Sparky’s farewell party as
well.
Anywayz, please give Omo a ring or e-mail him
‘cause his sweet half needs to know how many pies
to cook and how many barrels of Holy Amber to
order.
p.viallefont@wanadoo.fr

Another date to remember: run # 515, 8th of
June 2003-05-22. Yeah Tarzan is back . His
return from his native
Oz for a brief holiday in Europe is worth to celebrate.
We wish to urge all Hashers to participate in the rare
experience : Rumble in the Jungle with DeepThroat
& Tarzan . Who is Tarzan? Why the hell do you
want to know! Probably one of those Half-Minded
who used to run here and enjoyed so much , etc, etc,
etc. So let’s welcome back this crazy bird. And don’t
forget: it’s a fancy dress run! The Theme? Tarzan &
Jane you morons! So get your Flinstone’s gear from
your wardrobe, bring your wild companions, e.g.
rhinos, elephant, wild pussies … And let’s get the
forest alive!
AROUND THE WOLRD !
 Take-a-Leek’s photos from Athens hash
Feel free to forward this to anyone you wish (that
means all the Athens Hashers, Strawberry Foreskin!).
Take care and keep in touch,
Rick rastarick@hotmail.com
http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/roonus2002/lst?.dir=/Rast
a+Rick%27s+Picture+Extravaganza/Europe/Greece&
.src=ph&.order=&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.y
ahoo.com/
 Dear Harriers and Harriettes,
As you know St Petersburg is celebrating its 300th birthday
in a few days. Well the St Petersburg HHH doesn’t
actually care about that! We will like any other year
celebrate our own birthday this summer (we can’t
count so we could not tell you how many this is…). We will be
taking off for a three days of debauchery, Russian style, from the
18th until the 20th July 2003. It’s a great opportunity to discover a
beautiful place, with beautiful girls (we really can’t say about the
boys…!), cheap beers and lifted spirits, and the event is dirt cheap.
Believe me IT has it all! We would enjoy if you took part in what
is promising to be an ultimate Hashing experience, and a good
warm up for Cardiff. Those who are interested, please take a look
at the hash presentation we have made (sorry we had to rid it of the
beautiful pictures, but it was too large (it’s never too large in our
opinion…)) or go to our web-shite at www.h3.spb.ru
All others, just bugger off!!! We hope to hear from you soon,
Hash Cash, Silent But Deadly (fiona.may@dhl.com)
Hash Market Ring, Hairy Poppins
(fgnonnenmacher@hotmail.com)
 Dear Sans Clue, Paris and Buenos Aires Hash,
Find in the message below the link for the Costa Rica
InterAmerica's Hash for May 2003 (www.interam2003.com) in
case someone would like to attend. Cheers, Gabriela (aka Simply
Red)
Mario_González_Román <frog_mario@hotmail.com> wrote:
To appreciate this message, please turn your volume up. We
remind you that we'll meet Wednesday nights until the British
Embassy Cactus Club reopens at the Tandem Club, just behind the
Bristol Hotel at 8:00 pm. Quietly see you Friday nights -members
only- at the Canadian Embassy Northern Lights Club after 7:00
pm. Mark your calendars for May 17 at 14:30 hours at the
Insurgentes Freedom restaurant for an all-inclusive run and event
hared by Hand Job and Sasquash. Our yearly famous, fun-filled
Super Heroes run. Last call for those going to Costa Rica
InterAmerica's Hash during the period of May 23-26. Visit
www.interam2003.com Be happy. This year we celebrate the first
20 years of our existence. This is the Mexico City Hash House
Harriers ... ON!! ON!!
 Did you know that there’s a hash in TOULOUSE?
They are 8runs old now, 2nd and 4th Sundays. Details about the
run and Toulouse Hash can be found at www.toulousehash.com.
 4th - 6th July 2003 - HOORAY HENLEY HASH
HHHi One and All,
Just to let you know, we are rowing again this year,
Unlike any other hash in the world, you will need your best party
frock, men ties only allowed!!... This is a very P.O.S.H. Hash.
Last year we nearly went under as it was very popular, with last
minute registrants, please book early this year, as I don't like
turning people away, and we can really only cope with just over
the 100. my contact tel. no. is 01491 681540...
ON - ON
GBH gbh1@btinternet.com for registration form & further details

Dalmatia Cruise, Saturday 21st June 2003 (13:00-ish)
toSaturday 28th June 2003 (09:00-ish)Organised by Zagreb
H3Details
from hashcruise@btopenworld.com Hash CruiseUpdates/
Itinerary via:
http://xjh3.tripod.com/Zagreb_Hash/almost fully
booked, act quickly!
2
Have a look.

SWISS NASH HASH- July 25/26/27 in Cernay (F)
near Mulhouse
Short noticeRegistration is now 140EUR. It goes up after May 31st to
160EUR, so sign up.
More details on
http://basel.harrier.ch/snh12/details.html
Wheelchair (RA) promised lots of Champagne!

Barnes Barcelona Away Weekend - September
19/21. The organisers will book the hotel en
masse at the end of
April, after this it will be self booking of this or any
other hotel.
http://www.geocities.com/nh4_uk/barnesbarcelona.ht
ml
Barnes Web site : http://www.barnesh3.com/
On On
Hi De Hi
Caroline Pitt email:
mailto:carolinepitt4rcdf@yahoo.com
Work 0208 542 2992 Mobile 07743 565121
 Hi fellow hasher,
just a short notice...
Registration fee for Vineyard Hash No. 5 is going up
by June 1, 2003!
So only a few more days you can sign up for only
99,- Euro!
If you want to know what is included - please see
attached file or
visit our website for more details.
http://www.Bembeltown.de/Vineyardhash/index.h
tml
ON ON
AB
 Lundy Island Hash House Harriers
Run No.17. 9th August 2003
“Another fantastic UK hashing event to put in your
calendars!
Details and registration at:
www.bristolhash.org.uk/lundy
 From Francis Geere geerebox2001@yahoo.co.uk
OK Guys
Please note that the third Two Valleys weekend will be
held here at Nans-sous-Ste.Anne in wildest Franche-Comte
from 3-5 October.
Look forward to a good turn out. I have posted it on gthhh
with the promise of details later. Hope to see you
On On
Francis 'Reverse' Geere

The site
http://www.anythingmatters.com/qwertyazerty/
may
be of interest to hashers wanting to rent flats, buy
cars,
sell stuff, etc. Maybe even as good as the hash trash!
REMINDER
Hi folks
Further to showing many of you some stuff in Alloflock's
catalogue over the last few weeks, I am on the point of
ordering some haberdashery, to include some or all of:
Pantaloon jogging
Sweat hooded capuche/poche(s)
Bonnet polaire (logo brodé)
Veste imperméable pacifique
Veste club : poches capuche doublure
Blouson polaire poches zippés/gilet full zip (logo brodé)
Polo bambou
Polo femme
Débardeur athlétique
B&C short poche
To request one or more items, could you please tell me your
colour and size preference (already heard the one about blonde
with big ones).
Prices to great hashers such as yourselves will be
disgracefully low, however if later on you decide you don't want to
buy it, that's OK, it can be flogged to somebody else.
Any questions, confusion, full details, please ask.
On-On
MaBouche
GM and occasionally Hasherdabery, Hair Razor, Hash Cash, OnSec, Special Events, etc, etc.
HASH HUMOUR:
A salesman drove into this small town where a circus was in
process. A sign read, "Don't miss this amazing Scotsman."
He bought a ticket and sat down. There, on centre stage, was a
table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old
Scotsman. Suddenly, the old man lifts his kilt, whips out a huge
penis and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupts in applause.
Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees
a faded sign for the same circus and the same: "Don't Miss the
Amazing Scotsman."
He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his
act! So he buys a ticket.
Again, the centre ring is illuminated but this time, instead of
walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table.
The Scotsman stands before them, then suddenly lifts his kilt and
smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd goes wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a
meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible," he tells the Scotsman. "But I have to know
something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to
coconuts?"
"Well," says the Scot, "Me eyes are nae whit they used to be."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hairy Mary is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the
newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes across
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a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it.
Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in
mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner.
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you have to
tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make
sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain,
rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the
rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need
my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
Hary Mary buys the bike and off he goes, a happy
biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend
Alouette. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to
Alouette's parents' house. It's the first time he's going
to meet them and figures it will make a big
impression. When the couple gets to the house,
Alouette grabs her Hary Mary's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I have tell you something about
my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we
don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything
during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Hary Mary is astounded. Right smack in the middle
of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In
the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled
up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he
looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one
says a word.
As dinner progresses, Hary Mary decides to take
advantage of the situation. So he leans over and
kisses Alouette. No one says a word. So he decides to
reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her
parents, but still they keep quiet. So he stands up,
grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make
love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a
word.
"Her Mom's looks cute", he thinks. So he grabs
Alouette's Mom and has his way with her right there
on the dinner table. Again, total silence. Then, a few
raindrops hit the window and the Hary Mary realizes
it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of
the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right,
all right! I'll do the damn dishes."
Dear Ma Bush,
Foreplay, to a man, is very hurtful. What it means is that you do
not love him as much as he loves you. You should be as ready as
he is for lovemaking. Why must he work at getting you "in the
mood" if you are truly devoted? Abandon this old wives' tale.
Make it up to your boyfriend by buying the biggest chain saw on
the market and cooking a nice meal.
MEET THE MISMANAGEMENT
Grand Mattress: Caitlin Ma Bouche Clarke 06.87.55.60.32
sansclueh3@yahoo.com
Religious Advisor: Jan-Willem Orange Slip Handels
01.48.05.33.60
Beermeister: Alan Iceman Elliott 06.86.28.37.60
Hash Trash Editor: Marie Make Me An Offer Ghantous
06.17.25.66.29 mrghantous@yahoo.com
Hash Cash/Eye Candy: Frank Gorf Weyn 06.70.81.96.32
Hash Horn/Tablemeister: Frank Shag Newman 06.09.76.52.77
Webmaster: Chris 3-Legs Wallwork – 0.46.83.74.12
tcw232002@yahoo.co.uk
Website: http://schhh.free.fr/
Hair Razor : position vacant
Bouffemeister: position vacant
THE OTHER FOUR LOCAL HASHES

Fontainebleau H3: 11h15 Saturdays, fortnightly. Run 500 on
17th May! Yvonne Winkle Van Roeckel 01.64.99.31.00
pbdesign.yvr@wanadoo.fr
 Paris Fool Moon H3: evenings, monthly.
Jason Hairy Mary hairymary@buchelay.com or
Stefan
Cockapulley Murphy 06.08.04.31.62 me@stefanmurphy.net
 Paris H3 fortnightly – next run Sat 24 May, and Paris Bash
monthly both on Saturday afternoons. Stefan Cockapulley
Murphy 06.08.04.31.62 me@stefanmurphy.net
HAVE YOU SEEN THE LATEST EMBARRASSING PHOTOS?
GO TO l'album
http://fr.photos.yahoo.com/bc/pyere1
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Dear Trash Editor,
My boyfriend not at all interested in foreplay. HELP!
Signed,
Wham-Bam-Thank-you-Ma'am.
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