The Blue Porch Tribune
A place where aspiring young writers can publish their works
August 2013 Volume 1, No. 5
Wild Safari Adventure
Park
by Alicia Holownia
Have you ever
wanted to see all
the animals in the
world at the same
place? Well, now you can at Wild
Safari Adventure Park!
I want to tell you about
every show they have there, but
that would take billions of years so
here are a few. The fireworks are
OUT OF THIS WORLD and the
4-D movies are fantastic. They
also have guest speakers all the
time to tell everyone about
animals and awesome discoveries.
To keep everyone
company they even have real
animals walking around the park.
These include: birds, frogs,
bunnies and many more! These
animals have been trained not to
hurt the people so no reason to
worry.
Okay, you’ve seen shows
and animals, but what you have all
been waiting for is... THE RIDES!
We simply just can’t have an
Amusement park without rides!
First of all we have a great big log
ride for older kids and a tiny one
for little kids. I personally love the
deep sea rollercoaster where you
get in a submarine and go for a
ride INSIDE a fish tank! Another
great ride is “The Mountain’s
Peak” where you go up on a
mountain and see all the animals
that live on a B.C. rocky
mountain! But the best part of that
ride is when you reach the peak;
you stop, and then take a route
almost straight down!
Maybe not everyone likes rides so
that’s why at Wild Safari
Adventure Park they have many
attractions. But one of the main
attractions is the animal habitats!
So I guess you could say WSAP
has it all; rides, animals and a mini
water park for little kids! A very
fun attraction is the Rickety
Bridge of Doom, where you go on
a scavenger hunt and during the
hunt you walk across a bridge that
1
has rotting wood, missing boards
and bugs all over it.
And to find out all the other
mysteries of Wild Safari
Adventure Park you’ll have to go
and experience yourself the
greatest place on EARTH!
Poem With A Moral
by Serena Ippel
My morning schedule a must read:
For breakfast I ate a pun
Drank down a poem just for fun
At 5:14 up rose the sun
Read through this rhyme til it's
done.
Moral: You don't need a big name
for a short rhyme.
A Dodecadiagonal
Rainbow
by Matthew Lee
Are You There Lord?
By S. N. Zacharias
Amber walked through the
forest, just like any other day. The
evening sun shone through the
trees, casting long shadows on the
ground. She could feel the cool
spring breeze touching her skin
lightly and could hear the birds
chirping as they flew by. Beautiful
green grass covered the ground
like a blanket. Amber saw the
boulder where she always sat and
walked over to it. It was massive
but Amber was a good climber
and she had climbed it many a
time. She lay down on it and
looked up at the pale blue sky
through an opening in the trees.
“Are you there Lord?” she asked
the sky. She always asked this
when she came out to the woods.
Never expecting an answer. But
something different happened this
time.
“Why do you doubt me
Amber?” said a voice.
Amber sat up and looked around
for someone but didn't see anyone.
“Lord is that you?” she asked the
voice.
“Of course” The voice said with
a laugh. “You do not have to see
me for me to be real, do you?”
“No... I guess I don't Lord,” she
said.
He laughed.
Amber turned around. And there
behind her, sitting on a log was
God. He had olive skin and long
black hair with a small beard. He
seemed to shine. He wore a long
smile on His face. She didn't know
how to react. He laughed his
friendly laugh again.
He looked around. “Is not this
place beautiful? It is no wonder
why you come here to talk to me.”
She nodded as a bird flew down
and onto the Lord's shoulder.
“Why, hello there,” he said to
the bird. And the bird chirped
back. Just like it understood him.
“Yes, of course,” he said to the
bird with a smile and the bird flew
away. He looked saddened.
The Lord sighed a great sigh. “It
is so awful what people have done
to their home and to themselves.
Cutting down forests, polluting the
air, and war,” he sighed again. “I
made this planet for man to live
on, not destroy.”
Through all of this Amber had
listened to the Lord. She was so
amazed. She was listening and
talking to God.
“Come walk with me child,” he
said at last and got up and started
walking away. Amber jumped off
the rock and followed him. As
they walked the Lord spoke to
Amber.
“Why do you doubt my love for
you,” God asked.
“I don't know. I've been told that
2
your love for me is unconditional.
Maybe I feel like I've done too
much wrong to be forgiven,” she
answered.
The Lord turned to Amber, knelt
down and put his big hands on her
small shoulders.
“I will always love you” he said.
After that they walked along
talking and laughing together. As
they talked the sun was starting to
set but the sky was still a pale blue
with a touch pink. The birds flew
all around and the squirrels ran
around in the treetops. Amber
asked the Lord all the question she
had ever wanted to.
It was nightfall by the time they
got back to Amber's boulder. They
both lay down on smooth, cool
rock and looked up at the sky
filled with stars.
“Is it true you know the stars by
name?” Amber asked.
He laughed. “Yes, it is true.
She sighed and looked up at the
sky again.
God turned to her. “Amber.”
Amber looked at him. “Yes,
Lord.”
“Do you still doubt me?” the
Lord asked.
“I will never doubt you again,”
she replied.
And with that the Lord was
gone. Amber had talked to God
and she was a new person.
Poem
by S. N. Zacharias
God paints the storm
He paints the solemn grey
clouds and lightning
The white streaks that
stretch to the ocean
He paints the weeping rain
that falls on to the water
and the waves that surge angry.
severe. Servants bustled every
way, chattering as they went. The
by Elise LaFleur
stables and kennels must be
somewhere
nearby,
thought
Topaz. You could hear hounds
baying and horses trumpeting at
Queen Lark and King Paul
the top of their lungs. And the
Of the Land of Faraway
girls! There must have been two
Hereby announce a test
hundred of them milling about,
To be open to all maidens
also chattering and laughing. Were
Between the ages of
they all here for the contest? They
14 and 18.
were.
After a few minutes, in
The purpose of said Test
which
Topaz
stood awkwardly and
Being to identify the true
tried not to be noticed, a group of
princess
servants appeared and headed for
Our daughter
the girls. Efficiently, they sorted
Who was most odiously
the redheads from the rest and sent
kidnapped
them indoors, Topaz included. She
While still an infant.
didn’t see where they sent the
others. Probably away. Was that
the first test, to see if you had red
hair? Odd.
In smaller print at the
Not so odd, thought Topaz
bottom of the scroll, it said when she entered the Great Hall
“Please present yourself at Our and saw the monarchs. Queen
castle before midnight on the Lark and King Paul stood on the
Twentieth of June. Effective dais with the Prince and
immediately.”
Princesses next to them. First on
Topaz stood outside the the right was Princess Columbine,
castle gates and stared at the the heir to the throne. She was
notice posted there. Then she twenty–three and married to
marshaled her courage, took hold Prince Jason from the neighboring
of the huge doorknocker, and Kingdom of Inmyth. Next were
knocked with all her strength. The Prince Aaron and Princess Hope,
gate creaked open to reveal an old ages nineteen and eleven. Between
doorkeeper who smiled kindly at the prince and princess there was a
her red hair. He seemed to know gap where the kidnapped Princess
why she was there. “Go on, Miss. Adelaide would have stood. You
Wait in the courtyard. Someone could imagine a sign reading
will fetch you from there.”
‘picture yourself here’. Except that
Topaz slowly walked into would be tacky. All except King
the courtyard, marveling at the Paul had red hair.
grandeur of her surroundings.
“Welcome,” said King
Stone walls rose starkly into the Paul when all were seated. Topaz
air, punctured only by small counted about twenty five girls
windows. Far above her, she could sitting at the long tables. The girl
see the battlements and the guards two seats down from her was
marching to and fro. But on the chewing gum. On her other side,
ground, the mood was nowhere so she could see the one at the end of
A TRUE PRINCESS
3
the table was writing a letter.
Servants escorted both out. “The
purpose of these tests is to see
how princess-like you normally
are. For that reason, none of the
tests will be announced. Suffice to
say that from now until tomorrow
evening, you are on trial. Let the
feast begin!”
Even
before
servants
placed food before them, Topaz
knew she was in trouble. There
were two knives, three spoons,
and four forks, and she hadn’t the
faintest idea which to use.
Desperately, she looked at the girl
across from her, who smiled and
picked up the larger knife and the
fork on the outside. Topaz did the
same,
and
struck
up
a
conversation. By the time the meal
ended (there were five courses)
the two were good friends. The
girl’s name was Oleana, and she
was seventeen, two years older
than Topaz. Unlike Topaz’s
straight red hair and green-grey
eyes, Oleana’s ringlets were piled
on top of her head, and she had
hazel eyes framed by long curling
lashes.
There
was
dancing
afterwards, which Topaz mostly
sat out and watched. Her one
dance was with Prince Aaron, who
danced with all the girls, but
especially Oleana. (There were
fewer girls now, because seven
had left during the feast.) When
her turn came, she copied the
others again, and made out okay.
By the time she was shown
her room, her feet ached and she
could barely stifle her yawns. The
bed, though, was rock hard and
she found she was too excited to
sleep. Instead, she looked out the
window and wondered why
exactly she had entered the
contest. Was she really interested
in being the princess? Yes, she
decided.
And
that
answer
surprised her. When she thought
about it more, she realized that she
enjoyed being in charge. At home
she had always known what to do
when a child in the village was
lost or someone sick. And she
liked to help. She could do that if
she won. And she was beginning
to consider that idea. Four more
‘princesses’ had not come back
from the ball. There were only
twelve girls left, and that included
Oleana and herself. Slowly she fell
asleep.
When she woke up, a
beautiful green dress was laid out.
She liked it, even if the color did
make her look like a Christmas
tree. She got lost trying to find the
Great Hall, though. “You!” A
sharp voice from behind her made
her spin around. “What’s your
name?” A grouchy looking man
was striding up the passageway
behind her.
“Topaz, sir.”
“Don’t try and charm me,
just say why you’re here.”
“I got lost trying to find the
Great
Hall,”
Topaz
said,
wondering if he would tell her the
way.
“That’s not an excuse! You
have no right to be here, outside
the Queen’s bedchamber. Do you
take me for an idiot? I know what
your plan is!” The man pointed an
accusatory finger at her.
“Sir, could you show me
the Hall? I really was only lost.”
Topaz used her most polite voice
and looked around for guards.
Was the Queen’s chamber really
here? Was the man just trying to
get her in trouble?
“Fine,” snarled the man.
“If I catch you snooping around
here one more time, I call the
guards! The Great Hall is to the
left, then down the stairs.”
“Thanks,” said Topaz, and
turned to go.
“No! Wait, miss,” said the
man in a kinder voice. Topaz
turned around, surprised. “I’m
sorry about that. Good Luck.”
Topaz smiled at him and ran off,
wondering. Was that a test, then?
Had she passed it? She slid into
her seat next to Oleana and started
her breakfast.
The food was disgusting.
There was a glop of porridge that
looked like sawdust, and the toast
was more black than anything
else. Topaz resisted the temptation
to make a face, and grimly dug her
spoon in. It tasted as bad as it
looked. She needed a distraction,
so she looked around at the other
girls. Only seven, her included,
showed up for breakfast.
That day, she received an
order to present herself in the
throne room at five o’clock. All
the others received notices like
that, but with the time different.
As she read it, a crop of butterflies
hatched in her stomach. Why was
she nervous? She hadn’t been
nervous before! Topaz had the
whole day ahead of her, so she and
Oleana went to practice their
archery to help them calm down.
It didn’t work. By four thirty,
Topaz was so anxious she couldn’t
do anything but go get ready.
She was surprised to find a
fancy dress laid out when she got
to her room. It was a nice sage
color that matched her eyes and
didn’t make her look like a
Christmas tree. The footman who
had been mad at her earlier
escorted her to the throne room.
He was much more pleasant this
time, though, and wished her luck.
4
The throne room was a
huge stone affair, hung with
colorful tapestries. Amid all the
grandeur, her eyes had to search
for a moment to find Queen Lark,
who was not sitting on her throne
as expected. “Hello, Topaz!” The
voice drew her eyes to two chairs
drawn up before the fire. The
castle was cold even in late June.
Topaz walked over timidly and sat
when the queen indicated. “Would
you tell me about yourself?” The
queen’s voice was gentle, but you
could see that she would not take
no for an answer.
Topaz tried to smile. You
can do this, she told herself. She
took a deep breath and started.
“I’m an orphan. Grandma and
Grandpa found me in the woods
when I was only a few weeks old.
They named me Topaz because of
this.” Topaz held out a fiery topaz
pendant, missing its bottom half.
“It was because my hair is the
same color. So I’ve lived in the
village all these years. Grandma
was a Good Witch. She made
healing potions. Grandpa was a
farmer. But the winter was hard.
They both died, and I came south
because what else did I have to
do? Some of the villagers would
have taken me on as an apprentice.
But I’m almost grown up, and I
can fend for myself. I wanted to be
a minstrel--a travelling musician-but then I saw the proclamation
and came here.”
The queen looked curious.
“How old are you,” she asked
politely.
“Fifteen.”
“And where was your
village?”
“River Bend.”
“Thank you,” said the
queen. “That’s it. Just wait here a
moment, please.” She left, leaving
Topaz alone with her nerves. Why
had it gone so quickly? What was
happening?
Just then, the queen came
back. “I’m sorry,” she said, “But I
don’t think you’re the princess.
You can stay the night, though. It
might be nice for you to be here
when the true princess is
announced
tonight.”
Disappointment surged through
Topaz. She had been so close! But
of course, the test that really
mattered was the one she failed.
And, she realized uncomfortably,
she was a bit jealous of the girl
who made it. She bit that thought
back quickly. She was happy for
the winner, she told herself.
Particularly if it was Oleana.
“I’d be happy to stay,” she
told the queen. They were in the
passageway that led to the Great
Hall, now. The door on the other
side opened, and out came Oleana
and
Princess
Columbine.
Oleana’s face was very white. She
stared at Topaz and just opened
her mouth to speak when the
footman came back and threw
open the door to the Great Hall.
“Announcing
Princess
Topaz!” he bellowed in an official
sounding voice. Topaz looked
around wildly. It couldn’t be hershe had lost!
“Just go,” said the queen’s
reassuring voice. Topaz squared
her shoulders and walked through
the door onto the dais. The crowd
roared. What crowd? She thought
wildly and saw that almost the
whole city was packed into that
room. She curtseyed to the king
and went to stand between Prince
Aaron and Princess Hope. Then
something entirely unexpected
happened. When Queen Lark and
Princess Columbine had come
through, the footman banged his
staff on the floor for quiet.
“Announcing Princess Oleana,
bride-to-be of Prince Aaron!”
Topaz stared as Oleana glided
through the doors and was met
halfway by Prince Aaron. She
took his hand and turned to face
the crowd. They cheered again.
Queen Lark and King
Paul
Of the Land of Faraway
Are pleased to announce
The finding of Their
Daughter,
Now named Topaz.
Said Topaz passed the
Table Manners test,
The Dancing test,
The Not Complaining
tests,
The Polite to Aggravating
People test,
The Good Sport test,
And most importantly,
The Actually is Our
Daughter test.
Queen Lark and King
Paul
Of the Land of Faraway
Are pleased to announce
The engagement of Their
Son, the Prince Aaron
To the maiden now to be
known as Princess
Oleana.
Oleana has passed all the
Tests determining her a
True Princess:
The Table Manners test
The Dancing Test
5
The Not Complaining
tests
The Polite to Aggravating
People test
The Good Sport test
And most importantly,
Loves Our Son.
Their Wedding is to be
held Three months from
now,
On Princess Oleana’s
Eighteenth Birthday.
The End
The Drex Chronicles
The continuing story . . .
by Brendan Cowley
Inspector Jon Drex opened his
eyes and tried to view his
surroundings. He was chained to
the wall in a small cement cell.
Directly in front of him was a
narrow metal door. His head
throbbed and his hands were
numb. A door
farther down the
hall slammed
and he heard
footsteps; next
moment a key
turned in the
lock of his door and it swung
open. A figure stood in the
doorway; it raised a metal tube,
there was a hiss of compressed air
and pain exploded in his shoulder.
As he started to loose
consciousness the figure came
forward towards him. He kicked
out and was rewarded with a
painful grunt from the thing; then
everything went black.
When Jon came to his
senses he was strapped to a chair
in the middle of a dark room. A
single light fixture cast its harsh
glare in a circle around him. He
tested his bonds and felt tight
ropes cut into his wrists. Suddenly
he froze as a voice issued from the
dark.
“Ah Jon just the man I
wanted to meet,” The voice said.
Jon didn’t answer he was
trying to figure out where the
voice was coming from. He tensed
when he heard footfalls behind
him; two people in soldier
uniforms appeared on either side
of his chair. In unison they bent
and bit through the ropes. He
noticed the Nazi armbands they
wore; as they straightened up he
saw their eyes. They were blood
red with no pupils or veins. As
they made him stand he could feel
the panic building in his chest.
What were these things with the
red eyes? And the voice--what
was that? They forced him to
kneel and one of the things pulled
a club from somewhere and raised
it. Without thinking Jon bolted.
He had no plan; his only thought
was to get away from the two
things. As he slowed his run he
looked back. The two things were
just standing there, then one of
them got down on all fours and
appeared to sniff the ground; then
it got up and they both started to
walk straight towards him.
Without thinking Jon ducked
behind some crates in the corner.
The two things in Nazi uniform
were coming closer. Jon felt
around for some sort of weapon
and his hand came in contact with
a manhole cover. He felt around
the edges. There it was: A handle.
He pulled and felt the cover move,
he heaved and there was a
grinding sound. He felt around the
rim again and found a bolt: it was
old and rusty but quite firm.
Suddenly a hand descended on his
shoulder panic seized him and he
gave the manhole cover a mighty
heave. The bolt broke and the
cover came away; it was quite
light. Turning, he came face to
face with one of the red eyed Nazi
soldiers. He swung the cover and
hit the thing in the side of the
head. So they do die like normal,
he thought, but there was no time
to linger. The other thing was
bearing down on him. With a
metal tube in its hand it stopped
and took aim. Before it had a
chance to fire Jon threw the
manhole cover and jumped down
the hole.
To be continued . . .
Panda’s
Punctuation
Corner
Recipe for Mud Pie
You’ll need:
1 garden hose
1 stick
1 big pile of mud
Steps:
1. Turn on the hose.
2. Grab the hose.
3. Push the hose into the big
pile of dirt and watch the
dirt go flying.
4. Giggle.
5. Repeat several times to
make a mud puddle.
6. Remove your shoes.
7. Remove your socks.
8. Use toes to mix up the dirt
and water real good.
9. Look at the mud.
10. Ooh! and ahh! at the mud.
11. Grab a big handful of mud.
If it stays together in a ball,
it’s done. If it’s to runny
add more dirt.
12. Pat gently into a pie.
13. Feed it to little brother.
Submitted by Grace Schouten
6
Plutonian Sardinial Extone
antidote with the Saturnian
Anchovy Oil, the effect will not be
pretty. Be warned. I wish you all
the best!
The TBP Advice
Column
Dear Trixi and Bix,
I have a problem. I have a
psychological complex that can
only be quenched by eating
sardines. However, neither my
mom nor dad will ever buy
sardines because they make our
whole family break out in itchy
hives. My nether twin, Octavius,
who is from a parallel universe in
the 5th dimension, advised me in a
dream that the best way to solve
this quandary is to compel my
family to conform to similar
means and to disconnect
themselves from the Neptunial
Cyberwaves thereby initiating the
Plutonian Sardinial Extone
antidote. What do you think? I'm
also sending this question to B.
Bill to get a second opinion.
From,
Cravius Sardinius
To Cravius Sardinius,
Well, I definitely agree
with Octavius. Just don`t forget to
disconnect your family from the
Neptunial Cyberwaves, not the
Marsinian Cyberwaves or else
your family will be toast! Also,
Octavius forgot to warn you that if
you accidentally cross the
From,
Trixi and Bix
Dear TBP Trio,
What should you do if the bounce
has gone from your bungee?
Please reply quickly.
From,
Suspended Under a Bridge
Dear Suspended Under a Bridge,
Well, I only have one
suggestion. Here it is! Do a semi
flip/half twist, shimmy up the rope
slightly, untwist your right leg and
stick your left arm in the loop
above your chin. Still following?
After that, angle your head so that
it touches your left knee and then
line up your right elbow with your
left hip and turn clockwise twice.
Repeat the procedure 3 times and
you should be able to free yourself
from the harness and climb to
safety! Good luck!
From,
Trixi and Bix
Advice From B. Bill
Dear B. Bill,
I was flipping through
Bartlett's Familiar Quotations
yesterday while I was waiting for
the phone to ring and came across
a quote from Oscar Wilde: "He
knew the precise psychological
moment when to say nothing."
What in the world does that mean?
Can you elucidate for me, because
I can't for the life of me
understand when that moment
would be and would that apply to
Facebook?
Sincerely,
Alec Tewtok
Dear Alec Tewtok,
Saying nothing means
silence and there are three types of
silence according to the poet
Longfellow: the first is the silence
of speech, the second is the silence
of desire, and the third is the
silence of thought. Hopefully that
clears up the definition of silence a
little bit. Now I’d like to add a
fourth type of silence: the silence
of stupidity. Here’s a scripted
example of this silence:
Facebook User: Now I’m going to
post a picture of my Jell-O before
I eat it.
Common Sense chimes in: Nobody
wants to look at your photos of
retarded Jell-O.
Facebook User: But I thought
people enjoyed that kind of stuff.
Common Sense has the last word:
At this point you silence your
stupidity and DON’T hit the post
button.
Hope that helps.
Yours truly,
B. Bill
7
Dear B. Bill,
I have a problem. I have a
psychological complex that can
only be quenched by eating
sardines. However, neither my
mom or dad will ever buy sardines
because they make our whole
family break out in itchy hives.
My nether twin, Octavius, who is
from a parallel universe in the 5th
dimension, advised me in a dream
that the best way to solve this
quandary is to compel my family
to conform to similar means and to
disconnect themselves from the
Neptunial Cyberwaves thereby
initiating the Plutonian Sardinial
Extone antidote. What do you
think? I'm also sending this
question to the TBP Trio to get a
second opinion.
From,
Cravius Sardinius
Dear Cravius Sardinius,
I recently tried
disconnecting myself from the
Neptunial Cyberwaves as an
experiment. I found little change
other than that I stubbed my toes a
lot. I’d recommend, instead of
listening to your cousin in the 5th
dimension, that you get a Sardine
Supplement from your local health
food store.
Yours truly,
B. Bill
Dear B. Bill,
HELP!!! I've got a really
annoying brother who won't go
away. I've tried everything! No
more bug spray, Anti-pests spray,
Stay-away bugs spray, don't-needyou-bugs spray I even tried
scaring a skunk so that it would
spray and then I would stink and
my brother wouldn't come near
me. But, my plan back fired on
me, my mom said I stunk (and
well yes, I did) and made me take
a bath in tomato juice, tomato
paste, tomato everything! Lucky
me, tomato happens to be my least
favourite veggie. Now I'm stuck
with a really annoying brother
who won't go away.
Help quickly,
Person-in-need-of-lots-of-help
Dear Person-in-need-of-lots-ofhelp,
My only recommendation
is that you give your brother a big
hug and a kiss every time you see
him. You could also try wearing
really gaudy perfume when you
hug him. This generally worked
for my sister. It should only take
about a week of this behaviour and
he’ll be moving out before you
know it.
Yours truly,
B. Bill
Dear B. Bill,
I wonder if you know, how
does the tooth fairy lift my pillow
so she can read my note and get
my tooth??
I also need advice because
my cat Jill is being pestered by a
nameless tail-less cat that wanders
into our backyard every night.
What should I do?
Dear Serena,
In answer to your first
question: the Tooth Fairy is
magical. Don’t question her. As
long as you’re getting money it
shouldn’t be a problem how she
gets it to you.
In answer to your second
question: stay up all night with the
hose and squirt the nameless, tailless cat. This should chase it away
for good. If this doesn’t work,
simply adopt it into your
household, and--since you can’t
give it a tail unless you can afford
cat prosthetics—just give it a
name.
Yours truly,
B. Bill
Jokes
submitted by Grace Schouten
Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. $1 (it has 4 quarters)
Jokes continued on page 9
Sincerely,
Serena
8
Customer: Waitress!
Waitress: Yes?
Customer: Is this a full meal?
Waitress: Yes. Why did you ask?
Customer: Because yesterday
when I came I got twice as much
as I got today.
Waitress: Where did you sit?
Customer: By the window.
Waitress: Oh, well we always
serve twice as much if you sit
there.
Customer: Why?
Waitress: For advertising
purposes.
Submissions and
Correspondence to
theblueporchtribune@gmail.com
or snail mail your submissions to:
4643 8th Ave. West
Vancouver, B.C. V6R
2A6
Next submission deadline:
October 31st
Q. Why did the Elephant cross the
road?
A. It was the chicken's day off.
Get advice from our no-nonsense
team of experts.
Contact the TBP Trio today:
theblueporchtribune@gmail.com
Need Advice?
Editorial Staff
Jackie Cowley, Editor and
Designer
Naomi Lee, Associate Editor
Poetry & Recipes
Grace Schouten, Associate Editor
Classifieds
E. Cowley, Managing Editor
Q. Why did the Chicken cross the
road?
A. To get to the other side.
Confused by Life?
The Blue Porch comes to you
electronically so you can print it or
read it on your computer. Some
might call it an eTribune. We just
call it The Blue Porch.
Send cover ideas to J. Cowley:
theblueporchtribune@gmail.com
9
Don’t miss B. Bill’s engaging
column in this issue of the BPT.
And, if you are seeking heartfelt
advice for your problems, whether
real or imagined, you can count on
B. Bill to deliver. Send your
problem to.b.bill15@gmail.com
by October 31st to be included in
the next issue.
Place Your Ad
With The Blue Porch
Tribune
Contact Grace Schouten
Editor of Classified Ads
theblueporchtribune@gmail.com