Honors English 11
*UPDATED TO REFLECT A MINOR CHANGE*
The Evolving Thesis in the Definition Essay
The best way to try to understand what an evolving thesis should look like in your Definition Essay is to
compare it to what a traditional thesis would look like in the same essay. Compare the following two outlines for
the Definition Essay. The one on the left is a traditional thesis (this is not what you will be doing for this essay, but it
is what you are probably used to doing), and the one on the right is an evolving thesis – this is what yours will be
like.
TOPIC: DECEIT
Intro
Body 1
*Work to
mainly
prove thesis
Body 2
Work to
add
something
to the
argument.
Body 3
Work to
add
something
to the
argument.
Conclusion
TRADITIONAL THESIS
EVOLVING THESIS
Thesis statement:
Thesis statement:
“As one can see in The Great Gatsby, deceit is the “As one can see in The Great Gatsby, deceit is the
tendency to mislead others through lies.”
tendency to mislead others through lies.”
Evidence:
Evidence:
When Gatsby was courting Daisy years ago, he When Gatsby was courting Daisy years ago, he
gave her a false sense of security.
gave her a false sense of security.
Connect to thesis:
Connect to thesis:
“Gatsby tried to deceive Daisy by making her
“Gatsby tried to deceive Daisy by making her
think that he had more money than he really
think that he had more money than he really did.”
did.”
*So your first body paragraph simply gives evidence to support your thesis – you don’t need
to complicate your claim until the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. This makes it easier, I promise.
Evidence:
Evidence:
Jordan lies to Nick about being engaged to
Jordan lies to Nick about being engaged, possibly
another man.
because she is not interested in getting involved
Connection to thesis:
with Nick.
“Jordan is deceiving Nick by lying to him about Clarifying Statement:
being engaged when she really isn’t.”
“Deceit works to mislead others by lying in order
to push others away.”
Evidence:
Evidence:
Myrtle is deceptive when she has a party at her
Myrtle doesn’t want others to know her true
apartment and changes clothes three times in
economic situation, so she tells her guests that her
order to make her guests think she is wealthy.
nice gown is something she puts on when she
She lies and says that her nice gown is
doesn’t care what she looks like.
something she puts on when she doesn’t care
Clarifying Statement:
what she looks like.
“Deceit can be used like a mask in order to cover
Connection to thesis:
up something that one doesn’t want others to
“Myrtle misleads others through lies to make
know.”
them think she is wealthier than she really is.”
“Gatsby, Jordan, and Myrtle are all deceitful
“In The Great Gatsby, deceit is defined as telling lies
because they tell lies in order to mislead
to mislead others for the purpose of pushing
others.”
others away or as a way to mask one’s true self.”
Honors English 11
Intro
Body 1
Body 2
Body 3
Conclusion
TOPIC: DREAMS
TRADITIONAL THESIS
EVOLVING THESIS
Thesis statement:
Thesis statement:
“Dreams in The Great Gatsby are a source of
“Dreams in The Great Gatsby are a source of misery
misery and emptiness.”
and emptiness.”
Evidence:
Evidence:
Gatsby dreams of getting another chance with Gatsby dreams of getting another chance with
Daisy, but it is too late, because she is married Daisy, but it is too late, because she is married to
to Tom.
Tom.
Connect to thesis:
Connect to thesis:
“Gatsby’s dream of being with Daisy tortures
“Gatsby’s dream of being with Daisy tortures him
him because he knows that he can never have
because he knows that he can never have her.”
her.”
Evidence:
Evidence:
Myrtle dreams of being wealthy and important, Myrtle tries to get a taste of the American Dream by
but she lacks the means for economic mobility having an affair with Tom, but her unfaithfulness
since she didn’t marry rich.
begins a chain of events that ultimately ends her life.
Connection to thesis:
Clarifying Statement:
“Myrtle’s unfulfilled dreams cause her misery.” Even if one gets a taste of their dreams, like Myrtle,
there is the potential that things could end badly
because of the unrestrained obsession for
something that one cannot have.”
Evidence:
Evidence:
Nick leaves the Midwest in search for
Nick is unhappy in the Midwest, so he assumes that
something more exciting, but once in New
moving somewhere more exciting (New York) will
York he eventually realizes that he cannot be
make him happier and fulfill his dream of
happy there.
happiness.
Connection to thesis:
Clarifying Statement:
“Nick thought that he would be happy in New “Dreams that are based on running away from
York, but he realizes that his dream of
something - in Nick’s case, unhappiness caused by
happiness was a source of emptiness because
the monotony of the Midwest lifestyle – are bound
living in New York does not make him any
to fail and cause even more unhappiness.”
happier.”
“Gatsby, Myrtle, and Nick all experience
Dreams in The Great Gatsby are a source of misery
misery and emptiness because of their
and emptiness, and the dreamers are deceived by
dreams.”
the hope of achieving their dreams, or are using
dreams as an escape from unhappiness.”