(SOME) THEMES IN (SOME OF) THE WORKS OF TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS Acceptance (new & needs search) Activism Anger, rage Animism Anticipation Art Art and activism - THEMES Attention (new) Balance, equilibrium Beauty Biocentrism (new) Bioregionalism, Place (new) Birds Birth Body Bones Buddhism Building a positive alternative Capitalism (new) Change, transformation, motion Choice, decision Circle, cycle, spiral Collaboration (new) Community Compassion (new) Connection Creation Creativity Critique of society Critique - THEMES Dance Dark Death Democracy (new) Desert Disappear, dissolve Dream Ecofeminism (new?) Ecopsychology Effect, impact (new) Emptiness Energy Engage 1 Engage with nature Equality Erosion Erotic, sexuality, sensuality Erotics of place Ethics Faith, trust, optimism (new) Family: human Family: nature as Fear Feeling, passion, emotion, desire Female, women Fire (new) Freedom (new) Generosity (new) Heal Heart (new) Hidden, hide Home Hope Humility Ideal (partially analyzed into themes – needs work) Imagination Internal – external Interrelationship Intimacy Intuition (new) Japan Joy, happiness (new) Language Let go, yield, flow with Light Listen, hear Location - THEMES Love Meditation Memory Mormon Mother Mysticism Naked 2 Narrative of retreat Nature Nature-culture Nature-human Nature-politics Nature-religion Nature writing New One, unity Opening Order Other Pain Patience (new) Patriotism Peace, pacifism, nonviolence, war (new) Perserverance (new) Pilgrimage Place Positive alternative Power (new) Prayer Present Quaker Question Radical (new) Real, unreal, surreal, illusion Reform Refuge, retreat Religion, sacred, holy, spiritual Religion and politics Religion and social - THEMES Requires: What the situation & ideal require (new) Resistance Resistance - Themes Respect Science Self Service, sacrifice Silence, stillness Social and nature – family, community, earth Social vision Solitude, solitary Song 3 Sorrow Sound Source Speak (truth to power) (new) Spirit, soul Story Terrorism Time Tranquility, peace, serenity, calm Transformation, change in ourselves (new) Uncertainty (new) Vigilance Vision Voice of the land, listen to the land, dialogue with the land (new) Vulnerability (new) Walking Whole Wild, wilderness Wisdom Witness to beauty and value Witness to loss Wordless (new) Yellow 4 ACCEPTANCE ………… There are miracles in the world. Dawn. Light cresting over the Rocky Mountains. Convergances in our lives that we do not plan, could not have imagined. Synchronous moments when we wonder what is real, what is true, what do we fight for and what do we simply accept. Where is there room for hope and when does hope collapse into denial? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, ACCEPTANCE 5 ACTIVISM Red “It is a simple equation: place + people = politics.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 3 “If a sense of place can give rise to a politics of place, where might an erotics of place lead? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 16 I want to keep my words wild so that even if the land and everything we hold dear is destroyed by shortsightedness and greed, there is a record of beauty and passionate participation by those who saw what was coming. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 The canyons of southern Utah are giving birth to a Coyote Clan – hundreds, maybe even thousands, of individuals who are quietly subversive on behalf of the land. And they are infiltrating our neighborhoods in the most respectable ways, with their long, bushy tails tucked discreetly inside their pants or beneath their skirts. --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 26 “We have a history in this country of environmental courage, and its roots are found in direct contact with the beauty of the natural world that sustains us. The sacred heart of this continent beats in the unagitated and free landscapes of North America.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 69 “This country’s wisdom still resides in its populace, in the pragmatic and generous spirits of everyday citizens who have not forgotten their kinship with nature. They are individuals who will forever hold the standard of the wild high, knowing in their hearts that natural engagement is not an interlude but a daily practice, a commitment each generation must renew in the name of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70 “What we have witnessed in the ongoing struggle to protect America’s Redrock Wilderness is that responsive citizenship matters. Individual voices are heard, and when collectively spoken they reverberate on canyon walls. This passion for the wild endures and can lead to social change long after a specific piece of legislation has been forgotten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70-71 We are not separate. We belong to a much larger community than we know. We are here because of love. --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 71 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112-113 6 “These remnants of the wild, biologically intact, are precious few. We are losing ground. No matter how much we choose to preserve the pristine through our passion, photography, or politics, we cannot forget the simple truth: There are too many of us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 On Mary Austin: “I view her as a sister, soulmate, and a literary mentor, a woman who inspires us toward direct engagement with the land in life as well as on the page.” She was unafraid of political action embracing the rights of Indian people, women, and wildlands. Mary Austin was a poet, a pioneer, and a patriot.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mary Austin’s Ghost,” Red, 166 “Political courage means caring enough to explain what is perceived at the time as madness and staying with an idea long enough, being rooted in a place deep enough, and telling the story widely enough to those who will listen, until it is recognized as wisdom— wisdom reflected back to society through the rejuvenation and well-being of the next generation who can still find wild country to walk in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 181-182 “As we step over the threshold of the twenty-first century, let us acknowledge that the preservation of wilderness is not so much a political process as a spiritual one, that the language of law and science used so successfully to define and defend what wilderness has been in the past century must now be fully joined with the language of the heart to illuminate what these lands mean to the future.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187-188 “In the decade to come, we have bills pending to designate national parks, national forests, wildlife refuges, and wilderness areas in every western state. These bills will not translate to the preservation of what we love if we do not engage ourselves fully in social change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 188 “We, too, can humbly raise our hands with those who have gone before and those who will follow. Hand on rock. We remember what we have forgotten, what we can reclaim in wildness.” 7 --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 188 Democracy is full of strike moments, when injustice rubs against justice and a flame is carried by a man, a woman, a community, who lights a path of right action in the name of social change. Burning passion. A slow burn. Coals. Smoke. On our hands and knees we blow the embers back to light. How close must we get to the source that burns to singe our souls into action? A book of matches. Each turn of a page. Strike moment. A fire in the mind believing it is possible to read or paint the world differently. The vision and match play of Chema Madoz is the endeavor of a true arsonist who is the artist who is the activist who understands the transformative power of fire. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Strike Moment,” Red, 191 The American West is burning, millions of acres are burning. It is the summer of 2000. It is the summer of 2001. It is Sept. 11: New York City is burning; the Pentagon is burning [later addition] with apocalyptic skies, where the sun glows red and round through gray-black clouds. The fire is now internal, moving underground. What have we suppressed that has led us to this flame-jumping, blazing inferno? Strike the match. Stare into the flame. Dare to be burned by the heat of our own ambitious hearts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Strike Moment,” Red, 191-192 (with later addition from the internet) Unspoken Hunger The canyons of southern Utah are giving birth to a Coyote Clan – hundreds, maybe even thousands, of individuals who are quietly subversive on behalf of the land. And they are infiltrating our neighborhoods in the most respectable ways, with their long, bushy tails tucked discreetly inside their pants or beneath their skirts. Members of the Clan are not easily identified, but there are clues. You can see it in their eyes. They are joyful and they are fierce. They can cry louder and laugh louder than anyone on the planet. And they have enormous range. The Coyote Clan is a raucous bunch: they have drunk from desert potholes and belched forth toads. They tell stories with such virtuosity that you’ll swear you have been in the presence of preachers. The Coyote Clan is also serene. They can float on their backs down the length of any river or lose entire afternoons in the contemplation of stone. Members of the Clan court risk and will dance on slickrock as flash floods erode the ground beneath their feet. It doesn’t matter. They understand the earth re-creates itself day after day. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 78 “I believe that out of an erotics of place, a politics of place is emerging. Not radical, but conservative, a politics rooted in empathy in which we extend our notion of community, as Aldo Leopold has urged, to include all life forms—plants, animals, rivers, and soils. The enterprise of conservation is a revolution, and evolution of the spirit.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 > all three types of engagement 8 Essay “Mardy Murie” all --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 89ff Essay “A Patriot’s Journal,” all --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 97ff Peter Matthiessen said “the American psyche that wants war is the same psyche that doesn’t want wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Patriot’s Journal,” Unspoken Hunger, 108 Essay “All That Is Hidden,” all --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 115ff Essay “The Wild Card,” all --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger 133ff “I allow myself to struggle with the obligations of a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one.” Am I an activist or an artist? Do I stay home or do I speak out? When Edward Abbey calls for the artist to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. Otherwise, who will be there to chart the changes?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 133-134 “We can flood Congress with our wild cards. . . . This is the kind of politics we must be engaged in—nothing marginal, nothing peripheral, nothing inessential, not anymore.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 140 Others “Rachel Carson has called us to action. Silent Spring is a social critique of our modern way of life, as essential to the evolving American ideals of freedom and democracy as anything ever written by our founding fathers.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 59 To bear testimony is to bear witness; we speak from the truth of our lives. How doe we put our love for the land into action? This book is one model, an act of faith by writers who believe in the power of story, a bedrock reminder of how wild nature continues to inform, inspire, and sustain us. --Stephen Trimble and Terry Tempest Williams, Testimony, 3. “We believe in the power of story to bypass political rhetoric and pierce the heart. We live in the geography of hope.” --Stephen Trimble and Terry Tempest Williams, Testimony, 7 “What is means to be married to the earth, to our dreams, to community? What it means to be married to a politics of place that can both inform and inspire us?” 9 --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 313 Our commitment to revisioning and rebuilding community is not a game. It is not us versus them; it is not power over, or for, or against; it is a loving embrace. We must be willing to listen in the same manner we are asking others to listen to us. As we approach the twentyfirst century as an environmental community, I hope we hold close to that, realizing the environmental movement is a collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” The adage that we have been raised within the women's movement--the personal is political, the political is personal--kept ringing in my mind. Struggling with that notion. As writers, what are our obligations to a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one, and how do we weigh that? Am I an activist, or am I an artist? Do I stay home, or do I speak out? What is that essential gesture that Nadine Gordimer speaks about? When Edward Abbey calls for a writer to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” The environmental movement in its highest form is like water, in that it seeps into unexpected places, rises, and fills the basins of the human heart; that it is and will always be decentralized in its power, a power that is most appropriately found within our homes, neighborhoods, and local communities; that this naturally infiltrates to higher, more traditional places of power, our churches, our governments, our courts, and most slowly of all, our corporations. I use the word “our” because we are all complicit in this world we have created. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” Neighbors. Shared concerns. A respect for our differences and strength in what we share. This is happening throughout America. I honestly believe this. I look to the people who are standing their ground in the Bolsa Chica and Ballona Wetlands in the Los Angeles Basin against tremendous opposition, billion-dollar developments, movie moguls like Steven Spielberg, oil interests, and freeways. Look to a small group of neighbors in Yaak, Montana, the North Woods in New England, restoration work in the prairies of the Midwest, urban gardens, the incredible work of local land trusts to preserve and protect what they see as critical habitat for wildlife and the human spirit—all these examples provide models of compassion and savvy, at once. Faith and stamina. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” 10 To become biologically literate, to engage with our neighbors and communities, to focus on small-scale agriculture and commerce and support them, to realize we are deeply aligned with the life around us—to recognize this movement of the heart and mind and soul as a movement of love that can never be corralled. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting it Right” I was invited by the literature department of the University of Hiroshima and the Japanese Association for the Study of Literature and the Environment to give a reading. The newspaper Yomiuri Shimbun was sponsoring my visit. I read "The Clan of One-breasted Women," which is the epilogue from my book Refuge, about our family's struggles and adjustment with my mother's death from cancer and its ultimate relationship with nuclear testing. I spoke of what it meant to grow up in a traditional Mormon home, our adherence to strict moral principles and the subtle constraints placed on women in the name of patriarchy. I shared how the price of obedience became too high as I watched the women in my family die common heroic deaths. I spoke about committing civil disobedience with other women from Utah at the Nevada Test Site, of my arrest and release as I sought to both confront and reconcile my government's irresponsible actions. Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Hiroshima Journey,” 3 We have 13,000 members of the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance and assuming on a good, cheerful day after showering well from pilgrimages to the desert, each member has a handful of spirited friends, this is an impressive cadre of "active souls." We need to act. We need to write letters. We need to stay optimistic and recognize the power and authenticity of spirit that is ours. And we need to have a good time with it, calling forth our humor as well as our savvy. We need to call for the favors and assistance of friends and families to speak out in whatever ways with whatever gifts, talents, generosities, ideas, plans for creative involvement they have. And we need to take the initiative. We cannot afford the luxury of a cynical mind. We must believe in the breaking of bread together in the name of the Wild. Let's make a pact with each other that we will engage in one small act for wilderness a day until H.R. 1745 and S. 884 are buried. And then together, let's plan a wonderful wake for the death of this legislation that has found its way to Washington. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Letter of Solidarity” A friend the other day told me a story of walking up a particular ridge where a bristlecone pine stood, one of the oldest trees on the Earth. He considered it his Elder and went to pay his respects as he has done year after year. When he finally found his way to the tree, it had been cut down. The body of the bristlecone pine lay on its side sawed into pieces. He stood before the stump for some time and then pulled out his pocketknife and made a small cut along the tip of his thumb. He let the blood drip onto the stump. These wildlands of southern Utah deserve nothing less. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Letter of Solidarity” Open Space of Democracy Question. Stand. Speak. Act. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Patriots act -- they are not handed a piece of paper called by that same name and asked to comply. 11 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Thoreau wrote in his essay, “Civil Disobedience,” “Cast your whole vote, not a strip of paper merely, but your whole influence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 It occurred to me, over the many weeks that it took me to respond to Senator Bennett's letter, that what mattered most to me was not what I was willing to die for, but what I was willing to give my life to. In war, death by belief is centered on principles both activated and extinguished in the drama of a random moment. Heroes are buried. A legacy of freedom is maintained through pain. Life by belief is centered on the day-to-day decisions we make that are largely unseen. One produces martyrs born out of violence. The other produces quiet citizens born out of personal commitments toward social change. Both dwell in the hallowed ground of sacrifice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 23 Democracy invites us to take risks. It asks that we vacate the comfortable seat of certitude, remain pliable, and act, ultimately, on behalf of the common good. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 What will we make of the life before us? How do we translate the gifts of solitary beauty into the action required for true participatory citizenship? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 42a Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b My eyes travel around the cabin. A Presidential Medal of Freedom is perched on the mantle of their stone fireplace. On the far wall is a piece of calligraphy, the words Mardy spoke at the Jackson Hole High School commencement in 1974: "Give yourself the adventure of doing what you can do, with what you have, even if you have nothing but the adventure of trying. How much better than standing in a corner with your back to the wall." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 52a What I wish I could ask Mardy now is, how do we engage in the open space of democracy in times of terror? I believe she would send me home. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, In the five years that we have been engaged in this process with SITLA, the Castle Rock Collaboration and its partners have protected over three thousand acres and raised nearly four million dollars. But perhaps the most important outcome has been the creation of an atmosphere of engagement with other committed individuals who live along the Colorado River Corridor. We are learning that a community engaged is a community empowered. 12 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a If we listen to the land, we will know what to do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a Looking over my shoulder from the rise on the bridge, all I could see was an endless river of people walking, many hand in hand, all side by side, peacefully, united in place with a will for social change. Michelangelo was among them, as art students from Florence raised replicas of his Prigioni above their heads, the unfinished sculptures of prisoners trying to break free from the confines of stone. Machiavelli was among them, as philosophy students from Rome carried his words: "There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things." Leonardo da Vinci was among them, his words carrying a particularly contemporary sting: "And by reason of their boundless pride... there shall be nothing remaining on the earth or under the earth or in the waters that shall not be pursued and molested or destroyed." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Obviously the reference to Machiavelli calling for a new order suggests that all radical change may not be progressive When I returned home to Castle Valley I went for a long walk on the sage flats. “One does not walk for peace,” I recalled Thich Nhat Hanh saying, “One walks in peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a As I look back over the story we have been living in Castle Valley, it does not begin to convey the power and empowering nature of the process. It is through the process of defining what we want as a town that we are becoming a real community. It is through the act of participation that we change. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, In my private moments of despair, I am aware of the limits of my own imagination. I am learning in Castle Valley that imaginations shared invite collaboration and collaboration creates community. A life in association, not a life independent, is the democratic ideal. We participate in the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b Castle Valley is one example in thousands of local narratives being written around America. Enlivened citizenship is activated each time we knock on our neighbors' doors, each time we sit down together and share a meal. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b-57a Question. Stand. Speak. Act. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b A wild salmon is not the same as a salmon raised in a hatchery. And a prairie dog colony is not a shooting gallery for rifle recreationists, but a culture that has evolved with the prairie since the Pleistocene. At what point do we finally lay our bodies down to say this is no longer acceptable? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a 13 We are in need of a reflective activism born out of humility, not arrogance. Reflection, with deep time spent in the consideration of others, opens the door to becoming a compassionate participant in the world. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b This is what our community is in need of now. Fire. Fire that wakes us up. Fire that transforms where we are. Fire to see our way through the dark. Fire as illumination. We witness from the front porches of our homes the exhilaration of pushing an idea over the edge until it ignites a community, and we can never look at Parriott Mesa again without remembering the way it was sold, the way a sign disappeared and reappeared in Arches National Park, the way the community bought the land back through the gift of anonymity, and the breathing space it now holds as the red rock cornerstone of Castle Valley. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b [On Wangari Maathai] For decades, Wangari has said over and over to anyone who would listen, "The women of Africa are carrying the environmental crisis on their backs as they spend 8 to 10 hours a day in search of firewood to be able to cook dinner for their children." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” letter to Brandon Hollingshead Together, the women of the Green Belt Movement literally gathered seeds in the folds of their skirts and planted them in their villages. They watered them, nurtured them, and when they were tall enough to transplant, they took them to the elementary schools where the children became the caretakers of trees. Thousands of schools have responded. Millions of children have participated. Green Belt forests were planted, while educating the next generation about the perils of deforestation. She is a beacon of passionate engagement in the name of environmental justice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Salt Lake City, UT A gentleman who has been a diplomat for more than 50 years said, "There are no solutions to problems, you just keep working on them because the problem keeps changing." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Golden Colorado Other brief essays “Bearing Witness” “Bow to the Caribou” Interviews ...It will take an enormous amount of time to really find out what habitation means in this country. We're just beginning to get a taste of it. And patience. We don't need to have all the answers right now. We may never have the answers, but as long as we keep driving the questions, or keep finding pockets of humility, maybe it won't seem so overwhelming or so difficult. Then maybe a rancher and an environmentalist can burn their labels and see 14 each other as neighbors. The environmental movement right now is not listening. We are engaged in a rhetoric as strong and as aggressive as the so-called opposition. I would love to see the whole notion of opposition dissolved, so there's no longer this shadow dance between "us" and "them." I would love for us to listen to one another and try to say, "What do we want as members of this community? How do we dream our future? How do we begin to define home?" Then we would have something to build from, rather than constantly turning one another into abstractions and stereotypes engaged in military combativeness. I believe we all desire similar things. The real poison of our society right now is that everything is reduced to such a simplistic level. There is no tolerance or hunger for complexity or ambiguity. Do you want this or that? Black or white? Yes or no? It strips us to our lowest common denominator, creating a physics that is irreconcilable just by the nature of the polarity. As a result, we miss the richness we can bring to one another in our diverse points of view. It is not about agreement. It is about respect. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen Interview, Listening to the Land “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 Indy: What's the current status of the Redrock Wilderness Act? TTW: The Redrock Wilderness Bill currently before Congress, in some ways has never had more support. But it also has never had such strong opposition. The Bush and Cheney agenda is an energy agenda, and they'll take the wild lands for that purpose unless we are a vigilant, responsible citizenry. All I'm asking for is a healthy, conscious discussion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: What do Westerners stand to lose? TTW: I see it within my own family. My dad's the Marlboro man without a cigarette. He always wears cowboy boots; I've never seen his feet. Last week he said, in response to following the terrorist attacks in the media, "I can't wait to get back down to the desert. I just can't stand the noise and the television any more." I think even the most conservative westerners love this Western land the same way I do. We need to open our hearts and minds. How do we learn to speak out of an integrity of place? How do we create that middle ground in a world that is so often defined as black and white? It may require a new vocabulary. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: What can we do to raise the issue to a level of national importance? TTW: We need to remember that there are other definitions of natural resources, like courage and beauty. Those of us who believe in the value of wilderness are going to have to get stronger and stronger. There will be a time when speaking out about the environment is going to be seen as anti-patriotic. Maybe we will have to create a new vocabulary. It's not them and us, Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals; it's all of us trying to survive and live together on Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 TTW: How do we create that middle ground in a world that is so often defined as black and white? It may require a new vocabulary. 15 Indy: Perhaps the language of red? TTW: Yes. How do we find red in a world that is often defined in terms of black and white? The subtleties of our own perceptions are being lost to time. There's no time to enter the deep color of red. In a very real way, it's the color of the country that I live in, the red rock desert of southern Utah with its red rocks, red rivers, red sand. Red is blood. It's passion. It's the body broken open. It's love. There's danger in red. It's the color of rage, of destruction. To see red over time is to see red as a way to transformation. I'm asking how do we learn to live in the center of red. How do we act out of our own hearts? How do we stand inside the integrity of our own souls? How do we speak the language of red? How can we find and speak a language indigenous to the heart? --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3-4 Indy: How do we get schools to respond to this critical need? TTW: Up until this point, we have viewed environmental issues and education about ecological awareness as a luxury. It's necessary that we begin to see conservation as an integral part of our communities, our society. My hope is that we can begin to weave conservation into the conversation about who we are in the world. "Shall we now exterminate this thing that made us Americans?" Aldo Leopold asked in the 1920s, on the verge of the Great Depression, the dust bowl. Leopold was brave enough to stand up for wilderness at a time when the nation was poised for postwar buildup. We need authentic "home work." I hope to see us weave a land ethic into every aspect of our lives, even our concept of patriotism. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 4 Indy: Yes, there's been so much talk about freedom and our shared values, but very little talk about the greatness of the land. TTW: Talk about symbols of freedom! Unagitated landscapes! I think it's going to become even more powerful to us now, when we realize what kind of police state we're likely to become. I'm hopeful, though, and I am constantly amazed. I find that some of the most interesting things in the newspaper post-Sept. 11 are the post scripts, the asides. The other day there was a statement by Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton, whose policies I normally don't agree with. But she made a point of saying to the American people that the national parks and the wildlife refuges were now open to the public. She pointed out that they are powerful symbols of freedom for this nation and urged people to visit the national parks at this dark time. Then there was a little piece about a group of lobbyists from Alaska stranded in Washington. They were saying that the conservation community in Alaska were trying not to refer to the wildlife refuge as Arctic National Wildlife Refuge or ANWR. They only refer to it as the refuge. I think these are the kinds of small things that we can do to change the discussion, to turn it into a slightly different discussion. We need to talk about how wildness, wilderness is a deeply held value in America. Look at the effect of the American landscape on literature. Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea; Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. The power of landscape looms large when you look at the American tradition in literature, for example. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 4-5 Indy: How do we reconcile the need to conserve wilderness when government is clamoring to divide and conquer the land? TTW: We need to view conservation as an act of democracy. As locals tied to the exploitive susceptibility of the land we live on, we wind up thanking our federal 16 government for saving us from ourselves when they act to preserve wilderness. I know this sounds like a completely idealistic statement, but I believe that a nation's appetite for beauty transcends a state's hunger for greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 5 TL: What influence, if any, do you think such writing is having on the larger public debates about environmental matters? TTW: Writers who see the land for its wisdom such as Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac, and Rachel Carson, Silent Spring made an enormous contribution to public awareness, even policy changes in the government agencies and the establishment of NEPA and the EPA. Writers such as Edward Abbey and Wallace Stegner, I know for myself, inspired my own thinking about place, alongside Peter Matthiessen, Simon Ortiz, Barry Lopez, and Annie Dillard. The diversity of writers today who are not afraid to articulate the truth of our lives, the depth of our humanity, writers such as Denise Chavez, Benjamin Saenz, Chuck Bowden, Gary Nabham, Susan Tweit, Tony Nelson, Linda Hogan, Naomi Shihab Nye, Pico Iyer, Rachel Bagby, too many to name, are giving us a new language to see the world with, new stories born out of individual landscapes that enable us to see the world whole and extend our notion of community to include all life forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings. And these writings in all their eloquence are also political. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 TL: I suppose it is fair to say that most people do not equate Mormon culture with environmentalism. Yet you are very forthright in being both a Mormon and an environmentalist. What do you see as the connection between the two? TTW: It is true, many people would say "Mormon environmentalist" is an oxymoron, but that is only because of the stereotype and veneer that is attached to the religion. Our history is a history of community created in the name of belief. If you go back and look at the teachings of Brigham Young, his journals and sermons, they are filled with very strong notions of sustainability. Early brethren of the Mormon Church gave rousing speeches on the perils of overgrazing and the misappropriation of water in the desert. Unfortunately, much of this ethic has been lost as the Mormon Church has entered modernity. Like so many other facets of American culture it has assumed a corporate and consumptive stance with an emphasis on growth and business. But I believe there is change inside the membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. Bill Smart, another Mormon, and I put together an anthology of Mormon essays that celebrate community and landscape, with Gibbs Smith, a Utah publisher. We asked around 40 members of the Church in good standing, if they would write a piece about how their spiritual views have enhanced their views of nature, or conversely, how nature has added to their sense of Mormon theology. What emerged was an evocative testament New Genesis: A Mormon Reader on Land and Community, a very diverse (and I must say surprising in its content), collection of wide-ranging ideas, that we hope will be a touchstone for other Mormons to contemplate their relationship to place. It could be said that the environmental movement in the past has been a political movement. I believe it is becoming a spiritual one. Native peoples have always known this. It is my hope that my own people within the Mormon culture will remember what our own roots are to the American West and the responsibility that comes with settlement. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 17 I think about Rilke who said that it's the questions that move us, not the answers. As a writer, I believe that it is our task, our responsibility, to hold the mirror up to social injustices that we see and to create a prayer of beauty. The questions serve us in that capacity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1 I can tell you that in Refuge the question that was burning in me was, How do we find refuge in change? Everything around me that was familiar had been turned inside out with my mother's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and with the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge being flooded. With Pieces of White Shell, it was, What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place? With An Unspoken Hunger it was really, How do we engage in community? Am I an artist or am I an activist? So it was, How does a poetics of place translate into a politics of place? And in A Desert Quartet the question that was burning inside me was a very private one: How might we make love to the land? --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1-2 I know the struggle from the inside out and I would never be so bold as to call myself a writer. I think that is what other people call you. But I consider myself a member of a community in Salt Lake City, in Utah, in the American West, in this country. And writing is what I do. That is the tool out of which I can express my love. My activism is a result of my love. So whether it's trying to preserve the wilderness in Southern Utah or writing about an erotics of place, it is that same impulse -- to try to make sense of the world, to try to preserve something that is beautiful, to ask the tough questions, the push the boundaries of what is acceptable. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 I really believe that to stay home, to learn the names of things, to realize who we live among... The notion that we can extend our sense of community, our idea of community, to include all life forms -- plants, animals, rocks, rivers and human beings -- then I believe a politics of place emerges where we are deeply accountable to our communities, to our neighborhoods, to our home. Otherwise, who is there to chart the changes? If we are not home, if we are not rooted deeply in place, making that commitment to dig in and stay put ... if we don't know the names of things, if don't know pronghorn antelope, if we don't know blacktail jackrabbit, if we don't know sage, pinyon, juniper, then I think we are living a life without specificity, and then our lives become abstractions. Then we enter a place of true desolation. I remember a phone call from a friend of mine who lives along the MacKenzie River. She said, "This is the first year in twenty that the chinook salmon have not returned." This woman knows the names of things. This woman is committed to a place. And she sounded the alarm. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 I think that what I was talking about was that as a woman growing up in a Mormon tradition in Salt Lake City, Utah, we were taught -- and we are still led to believe -- that the most important value is obedience. But that obedience in the name of religion or patriotism ultimately takes our souls. So I think it's this larger issue of what is acceptable and what is not; where do we maintain obedience and law and where do we engage in civil disobedience -- where we can cross the line physically and metaphorically and say, "No, this is no longer appropriate behavior." For me, that was a decision that I had to make and did make personally, to commit civil disobedience together with many other individuals 18 from Utah and around the country and the world, in saying no to nuclear testing. Many people don't realize that we have been testing nuclear bombs underground right up until 1992. President Bush at that time placed a moratorium on all testing in this country and President Clinton has maintained that. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 4 London: In this culture we tend to draw very distinct lines between the spiritual world and the political world. And yet you don't seem to see any separation between them. You've said that for you it's all one -- the spiritual and the political, your home life and your landscape. Williams: I think we learn that lesson well by observing the natural world. There is no separation. That is the wonderful ecological mind that Gregory Bateson talks about -- the patterns that connect, the stories that inform and inspire us and teach us what is possible. Somewhere along the line we have become segregated in the way we think about things and become compartmentalized. Again, I think that contributes to our sense of isolation and our lack of a whole vision of the world -- seeing the world whole, even holy. I can't imagine a secular life, a spiritual life, an intellectual life, a physical life. I mean, we would be completely wrought with schizophrenia, wouldn't we? So I love the interrelatedness of things. We were just observing out at Point Reyes a whole colony of elephant seals and it was so deeply beautiful, and it was so deeply spiritual. It was fascinating listening to this wonderful biologist, Sarah Allen Miller, speak of her relationship to these beings for 20 years. How the males, the bulls, have this capacity to dive a mile deep, can you imagine? And along the way they sleep while they dive. And I kept thinking, "And what are their dreams?" And the fact that they can stay under water for up to two hours. Think of the kind of ecological mind that an elephant seal holds. Then looking at the females, these unbelievably luxurious creatures that were just sunbathing on this crescent beach with the waves breaking out beyond them. Then they would just ripple out into the water in these blue-black bodies, just merging with the water. It was the most erotic experience I've ever seen. We were there for hours. No separation between the spiritual and the physical. It was all one. I had the sense that we had the privilege of witnessing other -- literally another culture, that extension of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 London: How do we address this in our personal lives? Williams: I think that it's too much to take on the world. It's too much to take on Los Angeles. All I can do is to go back home to the canyon where we live and ask the kinds of questions that can make a difference in our neighborhoods. How do we want to govern ourselves? How do we want to regulate development. We've just started an Emigration Canyon watershed council. We had our first meeting in our living room last week. And what was our goal? Simply to talk to each other, because there is a huge rift between those people in the canyon who want more development, those people in the canyon who want less, and the way that we are bound on this issue is the water -- how much water we have. So I think that water is a tremendous organizing principle. Maybe that is one of the places, particularly in the arid West, we can begin thinking about these things. London: Trying to find common ground. Williams: Absolutely. And also respecting each other's differences and then figuring out how we can proceed given those different points of view. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 9 19 London: With all the talk about the ecological crisis we are facing now, environmental policies seem to be losing ground. How is it that such a big gap has developed between what we say we value on the one hand and what we legislate on the other? Williams: I feel we have to begin standing our ground in the places we love. I think that we have to demand that concern for the land, concern for the Earth, and this extension of community that we've been speaking of, is not marginal -- in the same way that women's rights are not marginal, in the same way that rights for children are not marginal. There is no separation between the health of human beings and the health of the land. It is all part of a compassionate view of the world. How we take that view and match it with what we see in Congress with the decimations of the Endangered Species Act, the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act, child care... I think it's an outrage. You and I have spoken about what we can do as citizens, what we can do as a responsive citizenry, and this is where we have to shatter our complacency and become "active souls," as Thoreau puts it, and be prepared to engage in aware -- that personal struggle between our grief and our sorrow. But I don't think we have any choice. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 10 When I met Breyten Breytenbach, the South African poet, in Mexico -- it was a symposium on landscape and culture -- we were talking about this revolution, this evolution of the spirit. As you know, he is an extraordinary poet who wrote True Confessions of an Albino Terrorist and had been involved for years in the anti-apartheid movement, was imprisoned for seven, and he knows the shadow of the active soul. I remember asking him, "What can we do if we are interested in this revolution, this evolution of the spirit?" And he looked at me, dead-eye center, and he said, "You Americans, you have mastered the art of living with the unacceptable." I think we have to stand up against what is unacceptable, and to push the boundaries and reclaim a more humane way of being in the world, so that we can extend our compassionate intelligence and begin to work with a strengthened will and imagination that can take us into the future. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 10 She lists changes in the West. “all these lands are at risk . . . and that’s one of the things that fuels my work as a writer. Not so much as a polemic, I hope, but writing out of a sense of loss, a sense of grief and a sense of joy, because I think passion encompasses that full spectrum of joy and sorrow. That passion creates engagement. And I think that all we can ask as writers is for engagement in our life and on the page.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Siporin Interview, WAL, 101 “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 “This was a curious juxtaposition in my own life. On one hand, I was completely immersed in the idea of Eros and nature, writing out of the body, wanting in some way to respond to the beauty of these sacred lands of the Colorado Plateau through language. And then on the other hand, I was asking, What can we do to stop this legislation? As a writer how can I be of use? . . . These are the kinds of confluences we experience as writers and yet they were both the same thing—a love of land. A response to home.” 20 --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 17-18 (On op-ed piece in the New York Times): “How can we as writers serve the culture in a long term sense and in a short term sense? I felt my family was under siege; I responded. It’s immediate. One is held accountable. It was the only weapon I had against my senators Orrin Hatch, Bob Bennett and my representatives Jim Hanson and Enid Green Waldholz, among them. Would they understand Desert Quartet?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 18-19 “I want to see how we might redefine the erotic, how an erotics of place might lead to a politics of place. Ultimately, it’s about the love we fear. We are so afraid of loving the Earth, loving each other, loving ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 131 “I have made a personal commitment to stop nuclear testing. My pen is my weapon, and as an act of hope or ritual, I choose to cross the line and commit civil disobedience. . . . You do what you can on whatever level you can, and you do what you do best. And by the power of our minds and our own hearts, we can write the world. This is about passion and presence. . . . Our obligation as writers is to make people uncomfortable, to push the borders of what is possible.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 Told of the nightmare. “Suddenly, my poetics of place evolved into a politics of place. It was then that I made the decision to write Refuge. And once I crossed that line— physically, at the Nevada test site, as well as psychologically in recognizing that the price of obedience is too high—I could never go back . . . back to the same place in the family, the same place within the Mormon culture.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview This is my place. It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. What does that mean to finally commit to a place, to a people, to a community? It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean you can live with patience, because you’re not going to go away. It also means making a commitment to bear witness, and engaging in ‘casserole diplomacy’ by sharing food among neighbors, by playing with the children and mending feuds and caring for the sick. These kinds of commitments are real. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322-323 Open Space of Democracy (“Commencement,” “Engagement,” “Ground Truthing” My eyes travel around the cabin. A Presidential Medal of Freedom is perched on the mantle of their stone fireplace. On the far wall is a piece of calligraphy, the words Mardy spoke at the Jackson Hole High School commencement in 1974: "Give yourself the adventure of doing what you can do, with what you have, even if you have nothing but the adventure of trying. How much better than standing in a corner with your back to the wall." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 52a 21 ANGER, RAGE … Leap “The stakes are high. High on the ridge. Pull the stakes. One by one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done. Take the wooden stakes out of the Earth into our hands one vertical the other horizontal tie them together with orange plastic tape turn them into crosses plant them in the soil see how rage grows see the rage flies dragonflies be calm they say sit at the table they say come into consensus they say with the power vested in them they say oh say can you see my body a clear cut my voice a serpent wrapped around the tree the power vested in me like a fire burning.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 126 Red “The redrock desert of southern Utah teaches me over and over again: red endures. Let it not be my rage or anger that endures, but a passion for the bloodroot country of my burning soul that survives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 138 Refuge “We spoke of rage. Of women and landscape. How our bodies and the body of the earth have been mined.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 10 “Restraint is the steel partition between a rational mind and a violent one. I knew rage. It was fire in my stomach with no place to go.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 12 “I want the walls down. Mother’s rage over our inability to face her illness has burned away my defenses. I am left with guilt, guilt I cannot tolerate because it has no courage. I hurt Mother though my own desire to be cured.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 76 “I stood at the side of my mother’s casket, enraged at our inability to let the dead be dead. And I wept over the hollowness of our rituals.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 235 “One Patriot” “Call it sacred rage, a rage grounded in the understanding that all life is intertwined. And we can come to know and continue to learn from the grace of wild things as they hold an organic wisdom that sustains peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 Others To wonder. To contemplate that which is never lost but continues to move outward forever, however faint, until it is overcome by something else. To wonder. To throw pebbles in pools and watch the concentric circles that reach the shore in waves. Waves of water. Waves of electricity. Illumination. Imagination. To say "I love 22 you" one day and shout with rage on another. Our words are still moving, churning; this sea of spoken languages oscillates, around us. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” We are a people addicted to speed and superficiality, and a nation that prides itself on moral superiority. But our folly lies in not seeing what we base our superiority on. Wealth and freedom? What is wealth if we cannot share it? What is freedom if we cannot offer it as a vision of compassion and restraint, rather than force and aggression? Without an acknowledgement of complexity in a society of sound bites, we will not find the true source of our anger or an authentic passion that will propel us forward to the place of personal engagement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b [Discussion with Gale Norton, Secretary of the Interior] What I remember is saying how weary we all are in the American West, that we feel we have no say, that public process has been thwarted in the name of oil and gas priorities. She spoke of their community collaboration projects and how we had to find ways to balance the various demands on the land. She promised to send me a copy of their brochure (which she did). We were both on edge. I fear I went into a mad rant, but have to trust some part of me held back my wild frustration in an attempt to be gracious and respectful of the office she holds. The space between us was vast and tense and palpable. We were both women of the west, from the west, Colorado and Utah. Neighbors. What shaped our different views of landscape? What would we agree on? And at what point in our development did we forge such contrary allegiances? This is the conversation I wish we could have had, that maybe one day we can have. I would be curious to know what we would agree on. Instead, the awkward silences exposed both of our ideologies, our beliefs, our hopes. The difference was one of power. She didn't have to talk to me. I was desperate to talk to her. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Salt Lake City, UT Interviews TTW: How do we create that middle ground in a world that is so often defined as black and white? It may require a new vocabulary. Indy: Perhaps the language of red? TTW: Yes. How do we find red in a world that is often defined in terms of black and white? The subtleties of our own perceptions are being lost to time. There's no time to enter the deep color of red. In a very real way, it's the color of the country that I live in, the red rock desert of southern Utah with its red rocks, red rivers, red sand. Red is blood. It's passion. It's the body broken open. It's love. There's danger in red. It's the color of rage, of destruction. To see red over time is to see red as a way to transformation. I'm asking how do we learn to live in the center of red. How do we act out of our own hearts? How do we stand inside the integrity of our own souls? How do we speak the language of red? How can we find and speak a language indigenous to the heart? --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3-4 London: How central is your Mormon faith to your identity as a writer -- has it had a big influence on your work and ideas? Williams: It's hard to answer because, again, I don't think we can separate our upbringing from what we are. I am a Mormon woman, I am not orthodox. It is the lens through which 23 I see the world. I hear the Tabernacle Choir and it still makes me weep. There are other things within the culture that absolutely enrage me, and for me it is sacred rage. But it's not just peculiar to Mormonism -- it's any patriarchy that I think stops, thwarts, or denies our creativity. So the question that I'm constantly asking myself is, What are we afraid of? I think it's important for us to follow that line of fear, because that is ultimately our line of growth. I feel that within the Mormon culture there is a tremendous amount of fear -- of women's voices, of questioning of authority, and ultimately of our own creativity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 London: With all the talk about the ecological crisis we are facing now, environmental policies seem to be losing ground. How is it that such a big gap has developed between what we say we value on the one hand and what we legislate on the other? Williams: I feel we have to begin standing our ground in the places we love. I think that we have to demand that concern for the land, concern for the Earth, and this extension of community that we've been speaking of, is not marginal -- in the same way that women's rights are not marginal, in the same way that rights for children are not marginal. There is no separation between the health of human beings and the health of the land. It is all part of a compassionate view of the world. How we take that view and match it with what we see in Congress with the decimations of the Endangered Species Act, the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act, child care... I think it's an outrage. You and I have spoken about what we can do as citizens, what we can do as a responsive citizenry, and this is where we have to shatter our complacency and become "active souls," as Thoreau puts it, and be prepared to engage in aware -- that personal struggle between our grief and our sorrow. But I don't think we have any choice. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 10 He is unafraid of his anger. His views can be militant and compassionate at once. Author of A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe, he unravels hope, asks us to liberate ourselves from these expectations. The students are completely riveted. Some are uncomfortable. "If you want to keep someone active, give them love, not hope...." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, ANGER, RAGE 24 ANIMISM Refuge The pulse of the Great Salt Lake, surging along Antelope Island’s shores, becomes the force wearing against my mother’s body And when I watch flocks of phalaropes wing their way toward quiet bays on the island, I recall watching Mother sleep, imagining the dreams that were encircling her, wondering what she knows that I must learn for myself. The light changes, Antelope Island is blue. Mother awakened and I looked away. Antelope Island is no longer accessible to me. It is my mother’s body floating in uncertainty. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 64 “The heartbeats I felt in the womb—two heartbeats, at once, my mother’s and my own— are heartbeats of the land. All of life drums and beats, at once, sustaining a rhythm audible only to the spirit. I can drum my heartbeat back into the Earth, beating, hearts beating my hands on the Earth—like a ruffed grouse on a long, beating, hearts beating—like a bittern in the marsh, beating, hearts beating. My hands on the Earth beating, heart beating. I drum back my return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 85 “First stars appear. A crescent moon. I throw down my sleeping bag. The stillness of the desert instructs me like a trail of light over water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 Dad: “Politicians don’t understand that the land, the water, the air, all have minds of their own. I understand it because I work with the elements every day. Our livelihood depends on it. . . . Sure, this lake has a mind, it cares nothing for ours.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 139 “There is something unnerving about my solitary travels around the northern stretches of Great Salt Lake. I am never entirely at ease because I am aware of its will. Its mood can change in minutes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “We toast to marriage and the indomitable spirit of Great Salt Lake.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 153 I lay out these ten sections on the flat granite rocks I am sitting on. The sun threatens to dry them. But I wait for the birds. Within minutes, Clark’s nutcrackers and gray jays join me. I suck on oranges as the mountains begin to work on me. This is why I always return. This is why I can always go home. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 160 “The way I look at it, John,” Brooke said. “We’re never going to figure it all out, so we might as well acknowledge the intangibles. Who knows, maybe these trees do have souls.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 195 “It was a dreamscape where the will of the land overtakes you. I felt as though we were standing under the wing of a great blue heron.” 25 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 201 “Brooke and I slip our red canoe into Half-Moon Bay. Great Salt Lake accepts us like a lover.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 Her grandmother Mimi. “She was not only fascinated by energy, but obsessed by it—how energy is used and expelled, conserved and stored, wasted, and recycled. Much of her philosophy of life resided in her belief in an open system of energy, not closed, why she saw the Earth as alive not dead, and why she believed the Universe was similarly constructed. It is also why she believed ‘her energy’ would continue after she died.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 312-313 Unspoken Hunger “The umbilical cord between man and earth has not been severed here. The Maasai pasture their cattle next to leopard and lion. They know the songs of grasses and the script of snakes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 4 Interviews “I find my spirituality in the connectedness of all life. Everything is endowed with its own spirit. I was taught there was a spirit world that was created before this Earth and that it exists now, and therefore all life is sacred.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 131 26 ANTICIPATION “I know the subtleties of place. A horned lizard buried in the sand cannot miss my eyes, because I anticipate his.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 9 “As we advance closer and closer, the anticipation of seeing rhinoceros is like crossing the threshold of a dream.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 11 I write from the stillness of night anticipating--always anticipating. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” Expect anything. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b ANTICIPATION 27 ART Damien Hirst, one of the artists exhibited in "Sensation" writes, "Art is about life. There isn't anything else." He goes on to say, "Art is dangerous because it doesn't have a definable function. I think that is what people are afraid of." I agree with him. Art is the embodiment of an idea and that idea is articulated through image, color, texture, and composition. It is a language not of words but impressions, sensations, feelings, emotions that are registered in the body. Of course, art can be extremely intellectual, conceptual, and abstract, but even so, it evokes a visceral response, one that bypasses rhetoric and pierces the heart. The simplistic response is "I like it" or "I don't like it." But what happens if we allow ourselves to enter a work of art, to watch a painting as one would watch a landscape, not simply look at it, but experience it as something dynamic, note how the light shifts, how the surface changes, how new details and nuances are revealed over time? I like to believe art is as alive as we are, that we can engage in a dialogue with a painting, a piece of sculpture, or music. To interact with art takes time, asks us to slow down and open our minds to new possibilities, not simply project our own opinions. Art invites us to listen to other voices, other points of view. I believe art requires a certain degree of openness on the part of both the artist and the viewer. It is deeply subjective. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 2-3 ART 28 ART AND ACTIVISM – THEMES The collage of her writing “I have added to this mix of essays, congressional testimony, newspaper clippings, and journals entries, to create both a chronology and collage for the reader, to feel the swell of a community trying to speak on behalf of wild places that are threatened by development or legislation in the United States Congress.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 9 The obligation of activism I think about Rilke who said that it's the questions that move us, not the answers. As a writer, I believe that it is our task, our responsibility, to hold the mirror up to social injustices that we see and to create a prayer of beauty. The questions serve us in that capacity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1 The adage that we have been raised within the women's movement--the personal is political, the political is personal--kept ringing in my mind. Struggling with that notion. As writers, what are our obligations to a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one, and how do we weigh that? Am I an activist, or am I an artist? Do I stay home, or do I speak out? What is that essential gesture that Nadine Gordimer speaks about? When Edward Abbey calls for a writer to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? --Terry Tempest Williams, Epiphany Questions about art and activism “I allow myself to struggle with the obligations of a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one.” Am I an activist or an artist? Do I stay home or do I speak out? When Edward Abbey calls for the artist to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. Otherwise, who will be there to chart the changes?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 133-134 The adage that we have been raised within the women's movement--the personal is political, the political is personal--kept ringing in my mind. Struggling with that notion. As writers, what are our obligations to a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one, and how do we weigh that? Am I an activist, or am I an artist? Do I stay home, or do I speak out? What is that essential gesture that Nadine Gordimer speaks about? When Edward Abbey calls for a writer to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? --Terry Tempest Williams, Epiphany “This was a curious juxtaposition in my own life. On one hand, I was completely immersed in the idea of Eros and nature, writing out of the body, wanting in some way to respond to the beauty of these sacred lands of the Colorado Plateau through language. And then on the other hand, I was asking, What can we do to stop this legislation? As a 29 writer how can I be of use? . . . These are the kinds of confluences we experience as writers and yet they were both the same thing—a love of land. A response to home.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 17-18 (On op-ed piece in the New York Times): “How can we as writers serve the culture in a long term sense and in a short term sense? I felt my family was under siege; I responded. It’s immediate. One is held accountable. It was the only weapon I had against my senators Orrin Hatch, Bob Bennett and my representatives Jim Hanson and Enid Green Waldholz, among them. Would they understand Desert Quartet?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 18-19 I think about Rilke who said that it's the questions that move us, not the answers. As a writer, I believe that it is our task, our responsibility, to hold the mirror up to social injustices that we see and to create a prayer of beauty. The questions serve us in that capacity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1 I can tell you that in Refuge the question that was burning in me was, How do we find refuge in change? Everything around me that was familiar had been turned inside out with my mother's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and with the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge being flooded. With Pieces of White Shell, it was, What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place? With An Unspoken Hunger it was really, How do we engage in community? Am I an artist or am I an activist? So it was, How does a poetics of place translate into a politics of place? And in A Desert Quartet the question that was burning inside me was a very private one: How might we make love to the land? --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1-2 Artistic life and activist life the same In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, Epiphany I know the struggle from the inside out and I would never be so bold as to call myself a writer. I think that is what other people call you. But I consider myself a member of a community in Salt Lake City, in Utah, in the American West, in this country. And writing is what I do. That is the tool out of which I can express my love. My activism is a result of my love. So whether it's trying to preserve the wilderness in Southern Utah or writing about an erotics of place, it is that same impulse -- to try to make sense of the world, to try to preserve something that is beautiful, to ask the tough questions, the push the boundaries of what is acceptable. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 30 As a writer I am interested in relations, deep relations, the patterns that emerge through a conscious life, through a committed life. I am interested in collaboration, the alchemical marriage that exists when seemingly disparate elements merge. Call it friction by fire. One plus one equals three. Something new is created much more than the isolation of the separated two. The whole is more than the sum of the parts. --Terry Tempest Williams, Epiphany Art AS activism “I have made a personal commitment to stop nuclear testing. My pen is my weapon, and as an act of hope or ritual, I choose to cross the line and commit civil disobedience. . . . You do what you can on whatever level you can, and you do what you do best. And by the power of our minds and our own hearts, we can write the world. This is about passion and presence. . . . Our obligation as writers is to make people uncomfortable, to push the borders of what is possible.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 TL: Your work is part of what seems to be a renaissance in the genre of nature writing. Why do you think this renaissance is occurring, if you think it is? TTW: I think there has always been a strong tradition in American letters of place-based literature, literature that sees landscape as character. Look at Melville, Thoreau, Emerson, Dickinson, Whitman of the nineteenth century and in this century, Mary Austin writing about the desert, Willa Cather writing about the prairies, Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck honoring the land in their novels and short stories. The list goes on and on, poets, too. W.S. Merwin, Galway Kinnell, Mary Oliver. Is this to be called "Nature Writing?" If there is a "renaissance" in the genre as you suggest with contemporary writers particularly in the American West, perhaps it is because we are chronicling the losses of the exploitation we are seeing, that we are trying to grapple with "an ethic of place" and what that means to our communities in all their diversity. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 TL: What influence, if any, do you think such writing is having on the larger public debates about environmental matters? TTW: Writers who see the land for its wisdom such as Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac, and Rachel Carson, Silent Spring made an enormous contribution to public awareness, even policy changes in the government agencies and the establishment of NEPA and the EPA. Writers such as Edward Abbey and Wallace Stegner, I know for myself, inspired my own thinking about place, alongside Peter Matthiessen, Simon Ortiz, Barry Lopez, and Annie Dillard. The diversity of writers today who are not afraid to articulate the truth of our lives, the depth of our humanity, writers such as Denise Chavez, Benjamin Saenz, Chuck Bowden, Gary Nabham, Susan Tweit, Tony Nelson, Linda Hogan, Naomi Shihab Nye, Pico Iyer, Rachel Bagby, too many to name, are giving us a new language to see the world with, new stories born out of individual landscapes that enable us to see the world whole and extend our notion of community to include all life forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings. And these writings in all their eloquence are also political. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 I believe in the power of imagination to carry us into new terrain; it is why the arts are so powerful in creating social change. 31 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, Crossing the line from poetry to politics Told of the nightmare. “Suddenly, my poetics of place evolved into a politics of place. It was then that I made the decision to write Refuge. And once I crossed that line— physically, at the Nevada test site, as well as psychologically in recognizing that the price of obedience is too high—I could never go back . . . back to the same place in the family, the same place within the Mormon culture.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview Wild words of passionate participation I want to keep my words wild so that even if the land and everything we hold dear is destroyed by shortsightedness and greed, there is a record of beauty and passionate participation by those who saw what was coming. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 Example of activist artist On Mary Austin: “I view her as a sister, soulmate, and a literary mentor, a woman who inspires us toward direct engagement with the land in life as well as on the page.” She was unafraid of political action embracing the rights of Indian people, women, and wildlands. Mary Austin was a poet, a pioneer, and a patriot.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mary Austin’s Ghost,” Red, 166 Writing the world differently Democracy is full of strike moments, when injustice rubs against justice and a flame is carried by a man, a woman, a community, who lights a path of right action in the name of social change. Burning passion. A slow burn. Coals. Smoke. On our hands and knees we blow the embers back to light. How close must we get to the source that burns to singe our souls into action? A book of matches. Each turn of a page. Strike moment. A fire in the mind believing it is possible to read or paint the world differently. The vision and match play of Chema Madoz is the endeavor of a true arsonist who is the artist who is the activist who understands the transformative power of fire. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Strike Moment,” Red, 191 Writing out of grief and joy from engagement She lists changes in the West. “all these lands are at risk . . . and that’s one of the things that fuels my work as a writer. Not so much as a polemic, I hope, but writing out of a sense of loss, a sense of grief and a sense of joy, because I think passion encompasses that full spectrum of joy and sorrow. That passion creates engagement. And I think that all we can ask as writers is for engagement in our life and on the page.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Siporin Interview, WAL, 101 Bypassing political rhetoric “We believe in the power of story to bypass political rhetoric and pierce the heart. We live in the geography of hope.” --Stephen Trimble and Terry Tempest Williams, Testimony, 7 32 Poetry and politics “In Silent Spring we . . . witness how a confluence of poetry and politics with sound science can create an ethical stance toward life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 Literature of hope “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 “We believe in the power of story to bypass political rhetoric and pierce the heart. We live in the geography of hope.” --Stephen Trimble and Terry Tempest Williams, Testimony, 7 ART AND ACTIVISM – THEMES 33 ATTENTION “The burden of a newcomer is to pay attention.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 5 Pay attention. Listen. We are most alive when discovering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b In the open space of democracy, we are listening -- ears alert -- we are watching -- eyes open -- registering the patterns and possibilities for engagement. Some acts are private; some are public. Our oscillations between local, national, and global gestures map the full range of our movement. Our strength lies in our imagination, and paying attention to what sustains life, rather than what destroys it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a ATTENTION 34 BALANCE, EQUILIBRIUM “To find one’s own equilibrium,” he tells me this morning by the river. “That is what I want to learn.” He finds rocks that stand on their own and bear the weight of others. An exercise in balance and form. Downriver, I watch him place a thin slab of sandstone on a rock pedestal, perfectly poised. He continues placing pebbles on top, testing the balance. In another sculpture, he leans two flat rocks against each other like hands about to pray. The stillness of stones, their silence, is a rest not against the music of the river. --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 150 “The wide-open vistas that sustain our souls, the depth of silence that pushes us toward sanity, return us to a kind of equilibrium. We stand steady on Earth. The external space I see is the internal space I feel.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 35 BEAUTY Red “I never forget I inhabit the desert, the harsh, brutal beauty of skin and bones.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 5 “The landscape that makes you vulnerable also makes you strong. This is the bedrock of southern Utah’s beauty: its chameleon nature according to light and weather and season encourages us to make peace with our own contradictory nature. The trickster quality of the canyons is Coyote’s cachet.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 24 Coyote Clan. “beauty is not found in the excessive but in what is lean and spare and subtle.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 26 “It is humbling living here, exposed to the elements of wind, water, and heat. There is no protection in the desert. We are vulnerable. It is a landscape of extremes. I find myself mirroring them: hot, cold, wet, dry. The challenge is to live in the midst of so much beauty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 151 “In this country, wind is the architect of beauty, movement in the midst of peace. This is what I seek as a writer. Art is created through the collision of ideas, forces that shape, sculpt, and define thought. There is a physicality to beauty, to any creative process. Perhaps an index to misery is when we no longer perceive beauty—that which stirs the heart—or have lost a willingness to embrace change. Does the wind harass sandstone or caress it? . . . There is a peculiar patience to both wind and rock, alongside a flashpoint of the fleeting and the eternal.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 153 Unspoken Hunger “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 Open Space of Democracy What does the open space of democracy look like? In the open space of democracy there is room for dissent. In the open space of democracy there is room for differences. In the open space of democracy, the health of the environment is seen as the wealth of our communities. We remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America's landscapes and it is precisely that character that will protect it. Cooperation is valued more than competition; prosperity becomes the caretaker of 36 poverty. The humanities are not peripheral, but the very art of what it means to be human. In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. And technology is not rendered at the expense of life, but developed out of a reverence for life. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 Beauty is presence and it resides in the Brooks Range. . . . These are not mountains but ramparts of raw creation. The retreat o gods. Crags, cirques, and glaciers sing hymns to ice. Talus slopes in grays and taupes become the marbled papers, creased and folded, inside prayer books. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 38a Subhankar Banerjee has become, unwittingly, a celebrity photographer who bears the distinction of being censored by the United States government. For what? The threat of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 41b In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 41b What will we make of the life before us? How do we translate the gifts of solitary beauty into the action required for true participatory citizenship? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 42a Beauty is another word for God. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b I hear Walt Whitman’s voice once again. “The quality of Being . . . is the lesson of nature.” Raw, wild beauty is a deeply held American value. It is its own declaration of independence. Equality is experienced through humility. Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a-b On this magical night, we watch in wonder and awe as young people climb, carrying wood on their backs, and lay down their burdens, striking the match, blowing on embers, fanning the flames with great faith and joy. Fire. Fire in freefall, over the cliff, reminding us all what is primal and fleeting. We cannot know what lies ahead. We may be unsure how to bring our prayers forward. But on this night in the desert, we celebrate this cascading river of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b 37 BIOCENTRISM, ECOCENTRISM “Oral tradition reminds one of community and community in the Native American sense encompasses all life forms: people, land, and creatures. Barry Lopez extends this notion when he says, ‘The correspondence between the interior landscape and exterior landscape is story.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 135 There are those within the academy who have recently criticized ‘the wilderness idea’ as a holdover from our colonial past, a remnant of Calvinist tradition that separates human beings from the natural world and ignores concerns of indigenous people. They suggest that wilderness advocates are deceiving themselves, that they are merely holding on to a piece of America’s past, that they are devoted to an illusory and ‘static past,’ that they are apt to ‘adopt too high a standard for what counts as ‘natural.”’ These scholars see themselves as one who ‘have inherited the wilderness idea’ and are responding as ‘EuroAmerican men’ within a ‘cultural legacy . . . patriarchal Western civilization in its current postcolonial, globally hegemonic form.’ I hardly know what that means. If wilderness is a ‘human construct,’ how do we take it out of the abstract, and into the real? How do we begin to extend our notion of community to include all life-forms so that these political boundaries will no longer be necessary? How can that which nurtures evolution, synonymous with adaptation and change, be considered static? Whom do we trust in matters of compassion and reverence for life? I believe that consideration of wilderness as an idea and wilderness as a place must begin with conscience. I come back to Leopold’s notion of ‘intellectual humility,’ We are not alone on this planet, even though our behavior at times suggests otherwise. Our minds are meaningless in the face of one perfect avalanche or flash flood or forest fire. Our desires are put to rest when we surrender to a grizzly bear, a rattlesnake, or goshawk defending its nest. To step aside is an act of submission, to turn back an act of admission, that other beings can and will take precedence when we meet them on their own wild terms. The manic pace of our modern lives can be brought into balance by simply giving in to the silence of the desert, the pounding of a Pacific surf, the darkness and brilliance of a night sky far away from a city. Wilderness is a place of humility. Humility is a place of wilderness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 179-181 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. 38 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 “the Navajo culture sent me back home to my own. There are similarities, a strong family structure reinforced through generational storytelling, a keen belief in the power of healing, but there are also marked differences. I had to come to terms with the fact that in Mormon culture, or any Christian religion for that matter, we are taught that human beings as having dominion over the land. This is one of the things that has led to my own estrangement from orthodoxy. Most Indigenous People do not view their relationship toward the earth this way. They see themselves as a part of nature with a sense of kinship extended to all forms of life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 LEAP is an exploration through Paradise and Hell into the Garden of Delights where the middle path becomes a path of joyful discovery, where intellectual humility can be found in relationship toward all living things. Curiosity replaces guilt. We find ourselves in dialogue with community. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 2 JW: Ched Myers wrote a piece in these pages several years ago about "The Bible and earth spirituality" in which he concluded that, "It is not the Bible that hates nature, but rather the culture of modernity." TTW: Exactly. This relates to that process of retrieval and restoration of which I was speaking. I think we're seeing a greening of our churches because our life depends on it. I think it's that simple. If we are concerned about spiritual health, it must be in correspondence with ecological health. Look at people like Paul Gorman or the Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople, who was first to come forward in saying that doing harm to the environment is a sin. And so our consciousness is expanding. We're retrieving our animal mind that knew this in our early stages of development. This is very positive, but it is met with suspicion because it is not human-centered, but life-centered. That's very threatening to a vertical notion of power, a power that isn't based on Earth, but on heaven. So, in a way, we're grounding our spirituality, we're embodying it. And we all know that the body is something that we're terrified of in religion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 Reverence for life. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 What are we willing to give our lives to if not the perpetuation of the sacred? Can we continue to stand together in our collective wisdom and say, these particular lands are inviolable, deserving protection by law and the inalienable right of safe passage for all beings that dwell here? Wilderness designation is the promise of this hope held in trust. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a The open space of democracy provides justice for all living things -- plants, animals, rocks, and rivers, as well as human beings. 39 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a This is not simply a story of not-in-my-backyard. It is the unfolding tale of how a small community in the desert is rising to its own defense, saying, we believe we have a stake in the future of our own community, which we choose to define beyond our own boundaries of time and space and species. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Are we ready for the next evolutionary leap—to recognize the restoration of democracy as the restoration of liberty and justice for all species, not just our own? To be in the service of something beyond ourselves—to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together—this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59a BIOCENTRISM, ECOCENTRISM 40 BIOREGIONALISM What are we to do? I turn to my own small perspective, a perspective that focuses on the place where I live and love, to the harvest moon casting blue light over the desert, where color still registers on the red cliff face of sandstone. I can’t sleep. On my back on our porch, I watch the moon with my binoculars for hours, and think about the miracle of life, simply that. Earth is our charismatic leader, the moon, the mountain lion who slips into the layers of sandstone like a passing shadow. In these moments, I am flushed with hope and most importantly, faith. Faith in almost 100 people in the valley where we live showing up to a potluck to discuss the future of our town of 200 people. One hundred people talking about how they feel about development, what kind and how much, how we might designate an area in partnership with the Division of Wildlife Resources for the deer, recognizing where we live now is their winter range. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” To become biologically literate, to engage with our neighbors and communities, to focus on small-scale agriculture and commerce and support them, to realize we are deeply aligned with the life around us—to recognize this movement of the heart and mind and soul as a movement of love that can never be corralled. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” ...It will take an enormous amount of time to really find out what habitation means in this country. We're just beginning to get a taste of it. And patience. We don't need to have all the answers right now. We may never have the answers, but as long as we keep driving the questions, or keep finding pockets of humility, maybe it won't seem so overwhelming or so difficult. Then maybe a rancher and an environmentalist can burn their labels and see each other as neighbors. The environmental movement right now is not listening. We are engaged in a rhetoric as strong and as aggressive as the so-called opposition. I would love to see the whole notion of opposition dissolved, so there's no longer this shadow dance between "us" and "them." I would love for us to listen to one another and try to say, "What do we want as members of this community? How do we dream our future? How do we begin to define home?" Then we would have something to build from, rather than constantly turning one another into abstractions and stereotypes engaged in military combativeness. I believe we all desire similar things. The real poison of our society right now is that everything is reduced to such a simplistic level. There is no tolerance or hunger for complexity or ambiguity. Do you want this or that? Black or white? Yes or no? It strips us to our lowest common denominator, creating a physics that is irreconcilable just by the nature of the polarity. As a result, we miss the richness we can bring to one another in our diverse points of view. It is not about agreement. It is about respect. --Terry Tempest Williams. interview by Derrick Jensen, from Listening to the Land: conversations about nature, culture, and Eros. Sierra Club Books, 1995. Pete Seeger says, “The world is going to be saved by people saving their own homes.” I believe him. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b 41 This is a town in the heart of rural Utah that believes we can begin to live differently, that the preservation of one’s homeland is the preservation of the planet. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a In our increasingly fundamentalist country, we have to remember what is fundamental: gravity -- what draws us to a place and keeps us there, like love, like kinship. When we commit to a particular place, a certain element of choice is removed. We begin to see the world whole instead of fractured. Long-term strategies replace short-term gains. We inform one another and become an educated public that responds. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a I really believe that to stay home, to learn the names of things, to realize who we live among... The notion that we can extend our sense of community, our idea of community, to include all life forms -- plants, animals, rocks, rivers and human beings -- then I believe a politics of place emerges where we are deeply accountable to our communities, to our neighborhoods, to our home. Otherwise, who is there to chart the changes? If we are not home, if we are not rooted deeply in place, making that commitment to dig in and stay put ... if we don't know the names of things, if don't know pronghorn antelope, if we don't know blacktail jackrabbit, if we don't know sage, pinyon, juniper, then I think we are living a life without specificity, and then our lives become abstractions. Then we enter a place of true desolation. I remember a phone call from a friend of mine who lives along the MacKenzie River. She said, "This is the first year in twenty that the chinook salmon have not returned." This woman knows the names of things. This woman is committed to a place. And she sounded the alarm. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 London: How do we address this in our personal lives? Williams: I think that it's too much to take on the world. It's too much to take on Los Angeles. All I can do is to go back home to the canyon where we live and ask the kinds of questions that can make a difference in our neighborhoods. How do we want to govern ourselves? How do we want to regulate development. We've just started an Emigration Canyon watershed council. We had our first meeting in our living room last week. And what was our goal? Simply to talk to each other, because there is a huge rift between those people in the canyon who want more development, those people in the canyon who want less, and the way that we are bound on this issue is the water -- how much water we have. So I think that water is a tremendous organizing principle. Maybe that is one of the places, particularly in the arid West, we can begin thinking about these things. London: Trying to find common ground. Williams: Absolutely. And also respecting each other's differences and then figuring out how we can proceed given those different points of view. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 9 42 Neighbors. Shared concerns. A respect for our differences and strength in what we share. This is happening throughout America. I honestly believe this. I look to the people who are standing their ground in the Bolsa Chica and Ballona Wetlands in the Los Angeles Basin against tremendous opposition, billion-dollar developments, movie moguls like Steven Spielberg, oil interests, and freeways. Look to a small group of neighbors in Yaak, Montana, the North Woods in New England, restoration work in the prairies of the Midwest, urban gardens, the incredible work of local land trusts to preserve and protect what they see as critical habitat for wildlife and the human spirit—all these examples provide models of compassion and savvy, at once. Faith and stamina. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” This is my place. It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. What does that mean to finally commit to a place, to a people, to a community? It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean you can live with patience, because you’re not going to go away. It also means making a commitment to bear witness, and engaging in ‘casserole diplomacy’ by sharing food among neighbors, by playing with the children and mending feuds and caring for the sick. These kinds of commitments are real. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322-323 BIOREGIONALISM 43 BIRDS Refuge “There are those birds you gauge your life by. The burrowing owls five miles from the entrance to the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge are mine. Sentries. Each year, they alert me to the regularities of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 8 “In my young mind, it had something to do with the magic of birds, how they bridge cultures and continents with their wings, how they mediate between heaven and earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 18 “Back on the bus and moving, I wrote in my notebook ‘one hundred white-faced glossy ibises—companions of the gods.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 18 “With my arms out the window, I tried to touch the wings of avocets and stilts. I knew these birds from our private trips to the Refuge. They had become relatives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 19 “The birds and I share a natural history.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 20 The Bird Refuge has remained a constant. It is a landscape so familiar to me, there have been times I have felt a species long before I saw it. The long-billed curlews that foraged the grasslands seven miles outside the Refuge were trustworthy. I can count on them year after year. And when six whimbrels joined them—whimbrel entered my mind as an idea. Before I ever saw them mingling with curlews, I recognized them as a new thought in familiar country. The birds and I share a natural history. It is a matter of rootedness, of living inside a place for so long that the mind and imagination fuse. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 “The long-legged birds with their eyes focused down transform a seemingly sterile world into a fecund one. It is here in the marshes with the birds that I seal my relationship to Great Salt Lake.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 22 “Up ahead, two dozen white pelicans were creating a spiral staircase as they flew. It looked like a feathered DNA molecule. Their wings reflected the sun. The light shifted, and they disappeared. It shifted again and I found form. Escher’s inspiration. The pelicans rose higher and higher on black-tipped wings until they straightened themselves into an arrow pointing west to Gunnison Island.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 40 I love to watch gulls soar over the Great Basin. It is another trick of the lake to lure gulls inland. On days such as this, when my would has been wrenched, the simplicity of flight and form above the lake untangles my grief. “Glide” the gulls write in the sky—and, for a few brief moments, I do. 44 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 75 “Each trip [to the lake] is unique. The lake is different. I am different. But the gulls are always here, ordinary—black, white, and gray.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 75 “I pray to birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day— the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 I say a silent prayer for the curlew, remembering the bond of two days before when I sat in their valley nurtured by solitude. I ask the curlew for cinnamon-barred feathers and take them. They do not come easily. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “Alongside the biological facts, could migration be an ancestral memory, an archetype that dreams birds thousands of miles to their homeland? A highly refined intelligence that emerges as intuition, the only true guide in life? Could it be that a family of Canada geese journey south not out of a genetic predisposition, but out of a desire for a shared vision of a species? They travel in flocks as they position themselves in an inverted V formation, the white feathers that separate their black rumps from their tails appear as a crescent moon, reminding them once again that they are participating in another cycle.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 193 Heron: “I would like to believe she is reclusive at heart, in spite of the communal nesting of her species. I would like to wade along the edges with her, this great blue heron. She belongs to the meditation of water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 266 “But then this is another paradox of mine—wanting to be a bird when I am a human.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 266 “Mimi and I shared a clandestine vision of things. I could afford to dream because she could interpret the story. We spoke through the shorthand of symbols: an egg, an owl. And most of what we shared was secret, much like the migration of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 273 “If I am to survive, I must let me secrets out like white doves held captive too long. I am a woman with wings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 273 45 BIRTH … Red “Now on shore like a freshly born human, upright, I brush my body dry, and turn to see that I am once again standing in front of the Birthing Rock, my Rock of Instruction, that I have sought through my life, defied in my life, even against the will of my own biology.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 162-163 No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 162 “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 46 BLACK 47 BODY Red “Am I running or am I returning to the place where my animal body resides?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 123 “This river has muscle when flexed against stone, carved stone, stones that appear as waves of rock, secret knowledge known only through engagement. I am no longer content to sit, but stand and walk, walk to the river, enter the river, surrender my body to water now red, red is the Colorado, blood of my veins. “ --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music, Red, 150 To move through wild country in the desert or in the woods is to engage in a walking meditation, a clearing of the mind, where we remember what we have so easily lost. Time. Time and space. The shape of time and space are different in wilderness. Time is something encountered through the senses not imposed upon the mind. We walk, we sit, we eat, we sleep, we look, we smell, we touch, we hear, we taste our own feral nature. What we know in a wild place is largely translated through the body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185-186 “I climb the slickrock on all fours, my hands and feet throbbing with the heat. It feels good to sweat, to be engaged, to inhabit my animal body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 195 “I stop. The silence that lives in these sacred hallways presses against me. I relax. I surrender. I close my eyes. The arousal of my breath rises in me like music, like love, as the possessive muscles between my legs tighten and release. I come to the rock in a moment of stillness, giving and receiving, where there is no partition between my body and the body of Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “I dissolve. I am water. Only my face is exposed like an apparition over ripples. Playing with water. Do I dare? My legs open. The rushing water turns my body and touches me with a fast finger that does not tire. I receive without apology. Time. Nothing to rush, only to feel. I feel time in me. It is endless pleasure in the current. No control. No thought. Simply, here. . . . my body mixes with the body of the water like jazz, the currents like jazz. I too am free to improvise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 201-202 “The fire now bears the last testament to trees. I blow into the religious caverns of wood and watch them burn brightly. My breath elucidates each yellow room and I remember the body as sacrament.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Fire,” Red, 208 Refuge 48 “We spoke of rage. Of women and landscape. How our bodies and the body of the earth have been mined.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 10 “The cancer process is not unlike the creative process. Ideas emerge slowly, quietly, invisibly at first. They are most often abnormal thoughts, thoughts that disrupt the quotidian, the accustomed. They divide and multiply, become invasive. With time, they congeal, consolidate, and make themselves conscious. An idea surfaces and demands total attention. I take it from my body and give it away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 44 “I feel like a potter trying to shape my life with the material at hand. But my creation is internal. My vessel is my body, where I hold a space for healing for those I love. Each day becomes a firing, a further refinement of the potter’s process.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 168 > see also 173 We are far too conciliatory. If we as Mormon women believe in God the Father and in his son, Jesus Christ, it is only logical that a Mother-in-Heaven balances the sacred triangle. I believe the Holy Ghost is female, although she has remained hidden, invisible, deprived of a body, she is the spirit that seeps into our hearts and directs us to the well. The ‘still, small voice’ I was taught to listen to as a child was ‘the gift of the Holy Ghost.’ Today I choose to recognize this presence as holy intuition, the gift of the Mother. My prayers no longer bear the ‘proper’ masculine salutation. I include both Father and Mother in Heaven. If we could introduce the Motherbody as a spiritual counterpoint to the Godhead, perhaps our inspiration and devotion would no longer be directed to the stars, but our worship could return to the Earth. My physical mother is gone. My spiritual mother remains. I am a woman rewriting my genealogy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 241 Unspoken Hunger “I find myself being mentored by the land once again, as two great blue herons fly over me. Their wingbeats are slow, so slow they remind me that, all around, energy is being conserved. I too can bring my breath down to dwell in a deeper place where my blood-soul restores to my body what society has drained and dredged away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 62 “There is no defense against an open heart and a supple body in dialogue with wildness. Internal strength is an absorption of the external landscape. We are informed by beauty, raw and sensual. Through an eroitcs of place our sensitivity becomes our sensibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 Open Space of Democracy I have always believed democracy is best practiced through its construction, not its completion -- a never-ending project where the windows and doors remain open, a reminder to never close ourselves off to the sensory impulses of eyes and ears alert toward justice. Walls are torn down instead of erected in a counter-intuitive process where a monument is not built but a home, in a constant state of renovation. 49 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20a There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a Interviews TL: When I heard about the theme of this year's Border Book Festival, Our Bodies / Our Earth, I immediately thought of your work, Terry. As much as anyone's, your writing seems to connect the human body with the more-than-human natural world. Why is this connection so important to you? TTW: How can we not align our bodies with the Earth? We are made of the same stuff, so to speak: water, minerals, our blood like a river flowing inside our veins. To imagine ourselves as something outside of the Earth, foreign, removed, separate, strikes me as one of the reasons our collective relationship to the natural world and other creatures has been severed. I believe our health and the health of the land are intrinsically tied. I've witnessed this as "hibakusha" (the Japanese word for 'explosion-affected people'), downwinders, and the predominance of cancer in our family due in large part, I believe, to the fallout in Utah from nuclear testing of the 1950's and 60's. To see ourselves as part of the Earth and its community, not apart from it as Robinson Jeffers writes, to me can be an act of humility and awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 1 TL: I recall hearing you read from a manuscript version of Desert Quartet: An Erotic Landscape at a conference in Salt Lake City a few years back. At the time, you seemed nervous about writing frankly about the erotics of landscape. It seems a risky thing to write about. Has the reaction to the book justified your nervousness, or has it been favorably received? Why did you choose to write about this topic? TTW: You ask about Desert Quartet and why I wrote that book. I think every writer struggles with various questions and tries to make peace with those questions, those longings through their art, their craft. I am interested in the notion of love and why we are so fearful of intimacy, with each other and with the land. I wanted to explore the idea of the erotic, not as it is defined by my culture as pornographic and exploitive, but rather what it might mean to engage in a relationship of reciprocity. I wanted to try and write out of the body, not out of the head. I wanted to create a circular text, not a linear one. I wanted to play with the elemental movements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air, and bow to the desert, a landscape I love. I wanted to see if I could create on the page a dialogue with the heartopen wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 50 If we are at all sensitive to the life around us, to one another's pains and joys, to the beauty and fragility of the Earth, it is all about being broken open, allowing ourselves to step out from our hardened veneers and expose our core, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in our emotional response to the world. And how can we not respond? This is what I mean by being "broken open." To engage. To participate. To love. Any one of these actions of the heart will lead to a personal transformation that bears collective gifts. I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 Our lack of intimacy with the natural world is in direct correspondence with our lack of intimacy with each other. Our bodies, the body of the Earth -- there is no separation. When we cause harm to the natural world, we also cause harm to ourselves. The health of the planet is our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 JW: Ched Myers wrote a piece in these pages several years ago about "The Bible and earth spirituality" in which he concluded that, "It is not the Bible that hates nature, but rather the culture of modernity." TTW: Exactly. This relates to that process of retrieval and restoration of which I was speaking. I think we're seeing a greening of our churches because our life depends on it. I think it's that simple. If we are concerned about spiritual health, it must be in correspondence with ecological health. Look at people like Paul Gorman or the Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople, who was first to come forward in saying that doing harm to the environment is a sin. And so our consciousness is expanding. We're retrieving our animal mind that knew this in our early stages of development. This is very positive, but it is met with suspicion because it is not human-centered, but life-centered. That's very threatening to a vertical notion of power, a power that isn't based on Earth, but on heaven. So, in a way, we're grounding our spirituality, we're embodying it. And we all know that the body is something that we're terrified of in religion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 (On Unspoken Hunger) “Intimacy makes us uncomfortable, so there is another issue here; I really believe our lack of intimacy with the land has initiated a lack of intimacy with each other. So how do we cross these borders? How do we keep things fluid, not fixed, so we can begin to explore both our body and the body of the earth? No separation. Eros: nature even our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 4 Jenson: What does erotic mean to you? 51 Terry Tempest Williams: It means ‘in relation.” Erotic is what those deep relations are and can be that engage the whole body—our heart, our mind, our spirit, our flesh. It is that moment of being exquisitely present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 310 “I believe our most poignant lessons come through the body, the skin, the cells, our DNA. . . . It is through the body we feel the world, both its pain and its beauty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 313 52 BONES “Suddenly, O’Keefe stopped. She saw bones. She also saw Coyote and hid behind a pinon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 17 53 BUDDHISM “The two herons who flew over me have now landed downriver. I do not believe they are fearful of love. I do not believe their decisions are based on a terror of loss. They are not docile, loyal, or obedient. They are engaged in a rich, biological context, completely present. They are feathered Buddhas casting blue shadows on the snow, fishing on the shortest day of the year.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a When I returned home to Castle Valley I went for a long walk on the sage flats. “One does not walk for peace,” I recalled Thich Nhat Hanh saying, “One walks in peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Thich Nhat Hanh: In Congress, in city halls, in statehouses, and schools, we need people capable of practicing deep listening and loving speech. Unfortunately, many of us have lost this capacity. To have peace, we must first have understanding, and understanding is not possible without gentle, loving communication. Therefore, restoring communication is an essential practice for peace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 28-29 October 2004, BUDDHISM 54 BUILDING A POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE Red “The Colorado Plateau is wild. There is still wilderness here, big wilderness. Wilderness holds an original presence giving expression to that which we lack, the losses we long to recover, the absences we seek to fill. Wilderness revises the memory of unity. Through its protection, we can find faith in our humanity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 69 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112-113 Refuge Others Neighbors. Shared concerns. A respect for our differences and strength in what we share. This is happening throughout America. I honestly believe this. I look to the people who are standing their ground in the Bolsa Chica and Ballona Wetlands in the Los Angeles Basin against tremendous opposition, billion-dollar developments, movie moguls like Steven Spielberg, oil interests, and freeways. Look to a small group of neighbors in Yaak, Montana, the North Woods in New England, restoration work in the prairies of the Midwest, urban gardens, the incredible work of local land trusts to preserve and protect what they see as critical habitat for wildlife and the human spirit—all these examples provide models of compassion and savvy, at once. Faith and stamina. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” 55 CAPITALISM We have made the mistake of confusing democracy with capitalism and have mistaken political engagement with a political machinery we all understand to be corrupt. It is time to resist the simplistic, utilitarian view that what is good for business is good for humanity in all its complex web of relationships. A spiritual democracy is inspired by our own sense of what we can accomplish together, honoring an integrated society where the social, intellectual, physical, and economic well-being of all is considered, not just the wealth and health of the corporate few. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a CAPITALISM 56 CHANGE, TRANSFORMATION, MOTION Red Coyote Clan: “They understand the earth re-creates itself day after day.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 26 “Movement surrounded her. The wind, clouds, grasses, and birds—all reminded her that nothing stands still.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 53 “I have inherited a belief in community, the promise that a gathering of the spirit can both create and change culture. In the desert, change is nurtured even in stone by wind, by water, through time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “I love sitting by the river. A deep calm washes over me in the face of this fluid continuity where it always appears the same, yet I know each moment of the Rio Colorado is new.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 148 “In this country, wind is the architect of beauty, movement in the midst of peace. This is what I seek as a writer. Art is created through the collision of ideas, forces that shape, sculpt, and define thought. There is a physicality to beauty, to any creative process. Perhaps an index to misery is when we no longer perceive beauty—that which stirs the heart—or have lost a willingness to embrace change. Does the wind harass sandstone or caress it? . . . There is a peculiar patience to both wind and rock, alongside a flashpoint of the fleeting and the eternal.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 153 “The wind reminds me of endurance. The wind will always return to stir things up, keep things fresh, where nothing can be taken for granted. Life is not static, comfortable, or predictable. An Episcopal prayer readers, ‘Come like the wind . . . and cleanse.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 153 Refuge “Add the enormous volume of stream inflow . . . and one begins to see a portrait of change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 6 “The Bird Refuge has remained a constant.” 57 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 “I could not separate the Bird Refuge from my family. Devastation respects no boundaries. The landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, the two things I had always regarded as bedrock, were now subject to change. Quicksand.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 “It is strange to feel change coming. It’s easy to ignore.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 24 “I could not separate the Bird Refuge from my family. Devastation respects no boundaries. The landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, the two things I had always regarded as bedrock, were now subject to change. Quicksand.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 40 “Each trip [to the lake] is unique. The lake is different. I am different. But the gulls are always here, ordinary—black, white, and gray.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 75 “How do you find refuge in change?” I asked quietly. Mimi put her broad hand on mine. “I don’t know. . .” she whispered. “You just go with it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 119 “I thought the marsh would be here forever,” I said to Mimi standing on the edge of the flooded Bird Refuge. Her eyes scanned Great Salt Lake. “Things change,” she said. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 132 “There is no one to blame, nothing to fight. . . . Only a simple natural phenomenon: the rise of Great Salt Lake.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 140 “Maybe it is not the darkness we fear most, but the silences contained within the darkness. Maybe it is not the absence of the moon that frightens us, but the absence of what we expect to be there. A wedge of long-billed curlews flying in the night punctuates the silences and their unexpected calls remind us the only thing we can expect is change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 146 “I am slowly, painfully discovering that my refuge is not found in my mother, my grandmother, or even the birds of Bear River. My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 178 The Fremont oscillated with the lake levels. As Great Salt Lake rose, they retreated. As the lake retreated, they were drawn back. Theirs was not a fixed society like ours. They followed the expanding and receding shorelines. It was the ebb and flow of their lives 58 In many ways, the Fremont had more options than we have. What do we do when faced with a rising Great Salt Lake? Pump it west. What did the Fremont do? Move. They accommodated change were, so often, we are immobilized by it. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 183 David Madsen: “During the fifteen hundred years that the Fremont can be distinguished, they produced an archaeological record as rich, yet as enigmatic, as any in the world. The record of how they lived, reacted, and responded to the changing world around them is a mirror of ourselves—of all peoples at all times in all places.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 185 … A meteor flashed and as quickly disappeared. The waves continued to hiss and retreat, hiss and retreat. In the West Desert of the Great Basin, I was not alone.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 190 Mimi: “Many native cultures participate in scarification rituals. It’s a sign that denotes change. The person who is scarred has undergone some kind of transformation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 “Refuge is not a place outside myself. Like the lone heron who walks the shores of Great Salt Lake, I am adapting as the world is adapting.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 “One night, I dreamed women from all over the world circled a blazing fire in the desert. They spoke of change, how they hold the moon in their bellies and wax and wane with its phases. They mocked the presumption of even-tempered beings and made promises that they would never fear the witch inside themselves. The women danced wildly as sparks broke away from the flames and entered the night sky as stars.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “My family has grown through this process. Each of us has found a new configuration born out of change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 306 Looking back, perhaps, these are the very ideas at the heart of Refuge and I didn’t even know it; I only knew what I saw in the rising Great Salt Lake, the displacement of birds, the displacement of our own family, the disorder and randomness of cancer, the healing grace of Earth. Transformation. The spiral. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “I do not believe life exists in a state of equilibrium. The only truth I trust is change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “The spiral. The spiral becomes this expansion and contraction of energy, another paradox for us to ponder alongside ‘water in the desert that no one can drink.’ It is an outward 59 motion in its evolutionary reach and an inward motion in its emotional drain. A spiral moves in both directions—clockwise and counterclockwise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313-314 “The world is in motion. We are in motion. We have all lost loved ones. We have all danced with grief and we will one day dance with death. We embody the spiral, moving inward and outward with the loss of fear, a love transcendent, and the courage to create new maps.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 60 CHOICE, DECISION … No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “What do we choose to act on and what do we chose to ignore?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Police Report,” Red, 164 61 CIRCLE, CYCLE, SPIRAL Red “Perfect Kiva—round like Earth. Hidden in the earth, the six sat.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Perfect Kiva,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 49 “A green serpent of the same pigment moved on the north wall, west to east, connecting the circles.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Perfect Kiva,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 49 “In time, each one circled the sipapu with his fingers and raised himself on the slings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Perfect Kiva,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 50 “She held up the hem of her skirt in both hands and began walking briskly around the circle. . . . Her long, spirited stride broke into short leaps with extended arms as she entered the circle dancing, without guile, without notice, without any thought of herself. She danced from the joy of all that she was part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 53 “Her turns widened with each rotation until she stopped, perfectly balanced. The woman stepped outside the circle and kissed the palms of her hands and placed them on the earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 54 The story “The Stone Spiral.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Stone Spiral,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 55ff “After the spiral was complete, they walked around it. . . . The black center stone became Black Widow’s domain. They imagined her underneath, spinning the web, binding them together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Stone Spiral,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, Refuge “I have been in retreat. This story is my return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 “Great Salt Lake is cyclic.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 6 “The marsh reflected health as concentric circles rippled outward from a mallard feeing ‘bottoms up.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 20 “Up ahead, two dozen white pelicans were creating a spiral staircase as they flew. It looked like a feathered DNA molecule. Their wings reflected the sun. The light shifted, and they disappeared. It shifted again and I found form. Escher’s inspiration. The pelicans rose higher and higher on black-tipped wings until they straightened themselves into an arrow pointing west to Gunnison Island.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 40 62 The pulse of the Great Salt Lake, surging along Antelope Island’s shores, becomes the force wearing against my mother’s body And when I watch flocks of phalaropes wing their way toward quiet bays on the island, I recall watching Mother sleep, imagining the dreams that were encircling her, wondering what she knows that I must learn for myself. The light changes, Antelope Island is blue. Mother awakened and I looked away. Antelope Island is no longer accessible to me. It is my mother’s body floating in uncertainty. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 64 “Today, I feel stronger, learning to live within the natural cycles of a day and to not expect so much from myself. As women, we hold the moon in our bellies. It is too much to ask to operate on full-moon energy three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I am in a crescent phase. And the energy we expend emotionally belongs to the hidden side of the moon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 “I am not adjusting. I keep dreaming the Refuge back to what I have known: rich, green bulrushes that border the wetlands, herons hidden behind cattails, concentric circles of ducks on ponds. I blow on these images like the last burning embers on a winter’s night.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 140 “Alongside the biological facts, could migration be an ancestral memory, an archetype that dreams birds thousands of miles to their homeland? A highly refined intelligence that emerges as intuition, the only true guide in life? Could it be that a family of Canada geese journey south not out of a genetic predisposition, but out of a desire for a shared vision of a species? They travel in flocks as they position themselves in an inverted V formation, the white feathers that separate their black rumps from their tails appear as a crescent moon, reminding them once again that they are participating in another cycle.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 193 Mother: “Do you know how rich you have made my life? I am seeing circles, circles of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 221 Looking back, perhaps, these are the very ideas at the heart of Refuge and I didn’t even know it; I only knew what I saw in the rising Great Salt Lake, the displacement of birds, the displacement of our own family, the disorder and randomness of cancer, the healing grace of Earth. Transformation. The spiral. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “The spiral. The spiral becomes this expansion and contraction of energy, another paradox for us to ponder alongside ‘water in the desert that no one can drink.’ It is an outward motion in its evolutionary reach and an inward motion in its emotional drain. A spiral moves in both directions—clockwise and counterclockwise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313-314 63 “This is the image I hold, dear reader, on the tenth anniversary of the writing of Refuge: a spiral covered and uncovered and covered again.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “The world is in motion. We are in motion. We have all lost loved ones. We have all danced with grief and we will one day dance with death. We embody the spiral, moving inward and outward with the loss of fear, a love transcendent, and the courage to create new maps.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 Unspoken Hunger O’Keefe: “It is as though O’Keefe is standing with all her passion inside a red-hot circle with everything around her in motion.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 22 When James Watt was asked what he feared most about environmentalists, his response was simple: ‘I fear they are pagans.’ He is right to be fearful. I would like to suggest Pan is not dead, that Echo lives in her repetitive world, in the cycles and circles of nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 83 64 COLLABORATION What does the open space of democracy look like? In the open space of democracy there is room for dissent. In the open space of democracy there is room for differences. In the open space of democracy, the health of the environment is seen as the wealth of our communities. We remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America's landscapes and it is precisely that character that will protect it. Cooperation is valued more than competition; prosperity becomes the caretaker of poverty. The humanities are not peripheral, but the very art of what it means to be human. In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. And technology is not rendered at the expense of life, but developed out of a reverence for life. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 What are we willing to give our lives to if not the perpetuation of the sacred? Can we continue to stand together in our collective wisdom and say, these particular lands are inviolable, deserving protection by law and the inalienable right of safe passage for all beings that dwell here? Wilderness designation is the promise of this hope held in trust. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a "We can only attain harmony and stability by consulting ensemble," writes Walt Whitman. This is my definition of community, and community interaction is the white-hot center of a democracy that burns bright. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a A crisis woke us up. A shared love of place opened a dialogue with neighbors. We asked for help. We found partners. We used our collective intelligence to formulate a plan. And then we had to search within ourselves to find what each of us had to give. In my private moments of despair, I am aware of the limits of my own imagination. I am learning in Castle Valley that imaginations shared invite collaboration and collaboration creates community. A life in association, not a life independent, is the democratic ideal. We participate in the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b We have made the mistake of confusing democracy with capitalism and have mistaken political engagement with a political machinery we all understand to be corrupt. It is time to resist the simplistic, utilitarian view that what is good for business is good for humanity in all its complex web of relationships. A spiritual democracy is inspired by our own sense of what we can accomplish together, honoring an integrated society where the social, intellectual, physical, and economic well-being of all is considered, not just the wealth and health of the corporate few. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government," said Edward Abbey. To not be engaged in the democratic process, to sit back and let others do the work for us, is to fall prey to bitterness and cynicism. It is the passivity of cynicism 65 that has broken the back of our collective outrage. We succumb to our own depression believing there is nothing we can do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a Are we ready for the next evolutionary leap—to recognize the restoration of democracy as the restoration of liberty and justice for all species, not just our own? To be in the service of something beyond ourselves—to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together—this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, We are vulnerable, and we are vulnerable together. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 24 October 2004, COLLABORATION 66 COMMUNITY Red We are not separate. We belong to a much larger community than we know. We are here because of love. --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 71 “I write in a solitude born out of community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 113 “My ancestors moved and settled as a result of spiritual beliefs. They gathered in the belief of an integrated life where nature, culture, religion, and civic responsibility were woven in the context of family and community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 “I have inherited a belief in community, the promise that a gathering of the spirit can both create and change culture. In the desert, change is nurtured even in stone by wind, by water, through time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 “Is it possible to make a living by simply watching light? Monet did. Vermeer did. I believe Vincent did too. They painted light in order to witness the dance between revelation and concealment, exposure and darkness. Perhaps this is what I desire most, to sit and watch the shifting shadows cross the cliff face of sandstone or simply to walk parallel with a path of liquid light called the Colorado River. In the canyon country of southern Utah, these acts of attention are not merely the pastimes of artists, but daily work, work that matters to the soul of the community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 140 As a woman of forty-four years, I will not bear children. My husband and I will not be parents. We have chosen to define family in another way. I look across the sweep of slickrock stretching in all directions, the rise and fall of such arid terrain. A jackrabbit blots down the wash. Pinon jays flock and bank behind cluster of junipers. The tracks of coyote are everywhere. Would you believe me when I tell you this is family, kinship with the desert, the breadth of my relations coursing through a wider community, the shock of recognition which each scarlet gilia, the smell of rain. And this is enough for me, more than enough. I trace my genealogy back to the land. Human and wild, I can see myself whole, not isolated but integrated in time and place. . . . Is not the tissue of family always a movement between harmony and distance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 157 There are those within the academy who have recently criticized ‘the wilderness idea’ as a holdover from our colonial past, a remnant of Calvinist tradition that separates human beings from the natural world and ignores concerns of indigenous people. They suggest that wilderness advocates are deceiving themselves, that they are merely holding on to a piece of America’s past, that they are devoted to an illusory and ‘static past,’ that they are apt to ‘adopt too high a standard for what counts as ‘natural.”’ These scholars see 67 themselves as one who ‘have inherited the wilderness idea’ and are responding as ‘EuroAmerican men’ within a ‘cultural legacy . . . patriarchal Western civilization in its current postcolonial, globally hegemonic form.’ I hardly know what that means. If wilderness is a ‘human construct,’ how do we take it out of the abstract, and into the real? How do we begin to extend our notion of community to include all life-forms so that these political boundaries will no longer be necessary? How can that which nurtures evolution, synonymous with adaptation and change, be considered static? Whom do we trust in matters of compassion and reverence for life? I believe that consideration of wilderness as an idea and wilderness as a place must begin with conscience. I come back to Leopold’s notion of ‘intellectual humility,’ We are not alone on this planet, even though our behavior at times suggests otherwise. Our minds are meaningless in the face of one perfect avalanche or flash flood or forest fire. Our desires are put to rest when we surrender to a grizzly bear, a rattlesnake, or goshawk defending its nest. To step aside is an act of submission, to turn back an act of admission, that other beings can and will take precedence when we meet them on their own wild terms. The manic pace of our modern lives can be brought into balance by simply giving in to the silence of the desert, the pounding of a Pacific surf, the darkness and brilliance of a night sky far away from a city. Wilderness is a place of humility. Humility is a place of wilderness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 179-181 Refuge It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “History has shown us that exclusivity in the name of empire building eventually fails. Fear of discord undermines creativity. And creativity lies at the heart of adaptive evolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 68 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 “I don’t know if Brigham Young ever ventured to Gunnison Island or observed the finely tuned society of pelicans. But had his attention been focused more on Earth than ‘heaven on earth’ his vision for managing the Saints in the Great Basin might have been altered.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 107 “What an African woman nurtures in the soil will eventually feed her family. Likewise, what she nurtures in her relations will ultimately nurture her community. It is a matter of living the circle. “Because we have forgotten our kinship with the land,” she continued, “our kinship with each other has become pale. We shy away from accountability and involvement. We choose to be occupied, which is quite different from being engaged. In America, time is money. In Kenya, time is relationship. We look at investments differently.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 137 John Lilly suggests whales are a culture maintained by oral traditions. Stories. The experience of an individual whale is valuable to the survival of its community.” I think of my family stories—Mother’s in particular—how much I need them now, how much I will need them later. It has been said when an individual dies, whole worlds die with them. The same could be said of each passing whale. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 175 “I love the challenge of living in a small community where the politics of place is no longer an abstraction but something very real, as you face your neighbor honestly over land-use issues not hundreds of miles away, but in your backyard.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 306 Unspoken Hunger “As a writer and a woman with obligations to both family and community, I have tried to adopt this ritual in the balancing of a public and private life. We are at home in the deserts and mountains, as well as in our dens. Above ground in the abundance of spring and summer, I am available. Below ground in the deepening of autumn and winter, I am not. I need hibernation in order to create.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 “We stood strong and resolute as neighbors, friends, and family witnessed the release of a red-tailed hawk. Wounded, now healed, we caught a glimpse of our own wild nature soaring above willows.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “We are here to honor Ed, to honor Clarke, Becky . . .; to acknowledge family, tribe, and clan. And it has everything to do with love: loving each other, loving the land. This is a rededication of purpose and place.” 69 --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 77 “I believe that out of an erotics of place, a politics of place is emerging. Not radical, but conservative, a politics rooted in empathy in which we extend our notion of community, as Aldo Leopold has urged, to include all life forms—plants, animals, rivers, and soils. The enterprise of conservation is a revolution, and evolution of the spirit.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 > all three types of engagement Open Space of Democracy Before the speech, I had had the great pleasure of meeting with a group of graduating seniors. When I asked them what they felt we were most in need of as a society and nation, the answer was a unified one: building community. . . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20b We can ask ourselves within the context and specificity of our own lives, how fear can be transformed into courage, silence transformed into honest expression, and spiritual isolation quelled through a sense of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 "We can only attain harmony and stability by consulting ensemble," writes Walt Whitman. This is my definition of community, and community interaction is the white-hot center of a democracy that burns bright. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a A crisis woke us up. A shared love of place opened a dialogue with neighbors. We asked for help. We found partners. We used our collective intelligence to formulate a plan. And then we had to search within ourselves to find what each of us had to give. In my private moments of despair, I am aware of the limits of my own imagination. I am learning in Castle Valley that imaginations shared invite collaboration and collaboration creates community. A life in association, not a life independent, is the democratic ideal. We participate in the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b Castle Valley is one example in thousands of local narratives being written around America. Enlivened citizenship is activated each time we knock on our neighbors' doors, each time we sit down together and share a meal. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b-57a It is time to ask, when will our national culture of self-interest stop cutting the bonds of community to shore up individual gain and instead begin to nourish communal life through acts of giving, not taking? It is time to acknowledge the violence rendered to our souls each time a mountaintop is removed to expose a coal vein in Appalachia or when a wetland is drained, dredged, and filled for a strip mall. And the time has come to demand an end to the wholesale dismissal of the sacredness of life in all its variety and forms, as we witness the repeated breaking of laws, and the relaxing of laws, in the sole name of growth and greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a 70 This is what our community is in need of now. Fire. Fire that wakes us up. Fire that transforms where we are. Fire to see our way through the dark. Fire as illumination. We witness from the front porches of our homes the exhilaration of pushing an idea over the edge until it ignites a community, and we can never look at Parriott Mesa again without remembering the way it was sold, the way a sign disappeared and reappeared in Arches National Park, the way the community bought the land back through the gift of anonymity, and the breathing space it now holds as the red rock cornerstone of Castle Valley. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b "We can only attain harmony and stability by consulting ensemble," writes Walt Whitman. This is my definition of community, and community interaction is the whitehot center of a democracy that burns bright. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” letter to Brandon Hollingshead Others Our commitment to revisioning and rebuilding community is not a game. It is not us versus them; it is not power over, or for, or against; it is a loving embrace. We must be willing to listen in the same manner we are asking others to listen to us. As we approach the twentyfirst century as an environmental community, I hope we hold close to that, realizing the environmental movement is a collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” As a writer I am interested in relations, deep relations, the patterns that emerge through a conscious life, through a committed life. I am interested in collaboration, the alchemical marriage that exists when seemingly disparate elements merge. Call it friction by fire. One plus one equals three. Something new is created much more than the isolation of the separated two. The whole is more than the sum of the parts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” To become biologically literate, to engage with our neighbors and communities, to focus on small-scale agriculture and commerce and support them, to realize we are deeply aligned with the life around us—to recognize this movement of the heart and mind and soul as a movement of love that can never be corralled. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting it Right” There is the same hope and promise here inside the Mayberry Preserve. With the Colorado River on its northern boundary, Fisher Towers and the Negro Bill Wilderness 71 Study Areas east and west of the orchard and the town of Castle Valley directly to the south, it is a place where human history and natural history converge. I believe we are capable of creating a world that can accommodate the tamed and untamed life, that we can in fact see ourselves as part of a larger biological community, that it is not at odds with a sense of deep democracy but compatible with it. Call it a new patriotism: red rocks, white clouds, blue sky. Is not the wild imagination of open spaces simply an expansion of our pledge of allegiance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” Interviews LEAP is an exploration through Paradise and Hell into the Garden of Delights where the middle path becomes a path of joyful discovery, where intellectual humility can be found in relationship toward all living things. Curiosity replaces guilt. We find ourselves in dialogue with community. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 2 I can tell you that in Refuge the question that was burning in me was, How do we find refuge in change? Everything around me that was familiar had been turned inside out with my mother's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and with the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge being flooded. With Pieces of White Shell, it was, What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place? With An Unspoken Hunger it was really, How do we engage in community? Am I an artist or am I an activist? So it was, How does a poetics of place translate into a politics of place? And in A Desert Quartet the question that was burning inside me was a very private one: How might we make love to the land? --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1-2 Community is extremely intimate. When we talk about humor, I love that you know when you're home because there is laughter in the room, there is humor, there is shorthand. That is about community. I think community is a shared history, it's a shared experience. It's not always agreement. In fact, I think that often it isn't. It's the commitment, again, to stay with something -- to go the duration. You can't walk away. It's like a marriage, only I think it's more difficult to divorce yourself from community than it is to a human being because the strands are interconnected and so various. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 TTW: Water in the desert is like prayer in our lives, that contact with some force that is both beyond us and a part of us. I go down to the banks of the Colorado River weekly -and in the summer daily -- and, as I watch that powerful body of water, watch the muscularity held in the currents, I'm always mindful of what it is carrying downriver. We, too, can be carried away. It could be said that we have taken our love inside. We go into our houses, we shut the door, and we have very isolated, lonely lives. When we take our love outside, we not only take it outside with the Earth, with nature, with birds, with animals -- the ravens, vultures and coyotes where I live -- but we take it into community. It is in community that we find another component of our spiritual life. And that has everything to do with service. How do we serve? What are we in the service of? And, again, that's not about heaven, it is about right here, right now. In the community where we live, which is very small, the needs are great. And they can only be met through service and love and compassion and sacrifice. To me, these are 72 powerful components of a religious life, of a spiritual life. I find the older I get, I'm less in need of an organization as much as a community. I don't need the organization of a religion. I do need the community where we can share a spiritual life. And I think there's a subtle difference. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 “It seems so internal—you’re asking questions that genuinely interest you and so often you’re collaborating so that it’s not just your own internal question, but something of a community question or a question you’re asking with somebody else.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 14 “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 “This is not to say that writing about landscape is an epiphany around every corner. That kind of writing drives me crazy. But to see landscape as a complex set of principles, metaphors, and social considerations that are germane to this point in time. I think about Octavio Paz when he says that if we’re interested in revolution, an evolution of the spirit, it requires both love and criticism, that it is a writer’s obligation to critique his or her own society or community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 16 “Story is the umbilical cord between the past, present, and future; it keeps things known. Story becomes the conscience of the community, it belongs to everyone.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 21 “the essential element of legacy is story, the umbilical cord that connects the past, present, and future. When you tell a story it’s as though a third person has entered the room, and you become accountable for that sacred knowledge. Story binds us to community. Part of the reason I could write Refuge, which is so intensely personal, is my belief that inside story the personal is transformed into the general, the universal. Story becomes the conscience of our communities.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122-123 “There has been a positive response from the Mormon hierarchy of women because they see in this book the values of family and community and prayer and faith that are all honored within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 124-125 “What I found in sharing Refuge and in giving readings was the yearning we have to belong to a community, the yearning we have to share our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 129 “Our culture of consumerism tells us what we need, what we want, and what we deserve. It is the economics of entitlement. And I believe it is an illusion. I believe our needs are more basic: home; family; community; health; the health of the land which includes all life 73 forms, plants, animals, and human beings. We need open country, open spaces, a wildness that offers us deliverance from inauthentic lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 This is my place. It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. What does that mean to finally commit to a place, to a people, to a community? It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean you can live with patience, because you’re not going to go away. It also means making a commitment to bear witness, and engaging in ‘casserole diplomacy’ by sharing food among neighbors, by playing with the children and mending feuds and caring for the sick. These kinds of commitments are real. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322-323 “Isn’t that a way to extend our notion of community to include all plants, animals, rocks, soils, rivers, and human beings?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 323 “I write about what I know, and I am inspired by what I don’t know – which is enormous. I believe in the longing for unity, that we may in fact be asking for a new way to think about science in reality are asking for a new way to think about ourselves, that this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 For me, it is all about relationships. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, COMMUNITY 74 COMMUNITY WITH/OF THE EARTH There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a COMMUNITY WITH/OF THE EARTH 75 COMPASSION … Red No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “For all of Austin’s friends and critics who found her personally arrogant, erratic, and too bold in her behavior, an abiding and enduring compassion and humility comes through the rigors of a disciplined eye toward nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mary Austin’s Ghost,” Red, 170-171 There are those within the academy who have recently criticized ‘the wilderness idea’ as a holdover from our colonial past, a remnant of Calvinist tradition that separates human beings from the natural world and ignores concerns of indigenous people. They suggest that wilderness advocates are deceiving themselves, that they are merely holding on to a piece of America’s past, that they are devoted to an illusory and ‘static past,’ that they are apt to ‘adopt too high a standard for what counts as ‘natural.”’ These scholars see themselves as one who ‘have inherited the wilderness idea’ and are responding as ‘EuroAmerican men’ within a ‘cultural legacy . . . patriarchal Western civilization in its current postcolonial, globally hegemonic form.’ I hardly know what that means. If wilderness is a ‘human construct,’ how do we take it out of the abstract, and into the real? How do we begin to extend our notion of community to include all life-forms so that these political boundaries will no longer be necessary? How can that which nurtures evolution, synonymous with adaptation and change, be considered static? Whom do we trust in matters of compassion and reverence for life? I believe that consideration of wilderness as an idea and wilderness as a place must begin with conscience. I come back to Leopold’s notion of ‘intellectual humility,’ We are not alone on this planet, even though our behavior at times suggests otherwise. Our minds are meaningless in the face of one perfect avalanche or flash flood or forest fire. Our desires are put to rest when we surrender to a grizzly bear, a rattlesnake, or goshawk defending its nest. To step aside is an act of submission, to turn back an act of admission, that other beings can and will take precedence when we meet them on their own wild terms. The manic pace of our modern lives can be brought into balance by simply giving in to the silence of the desert, the pounding of a Pacific surf, the darkness and brilliance of a night sky far away from a city. Wilderness is a place of humility. Humility is a place of wilderness. 76 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 179-181 Unspoken Hunger “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “One Patriot” “In 2002, Rachel Carson’s spirit is among us. Like her, we can be both fierce and compassionate at once. We can remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America’s landscape and it is precisely that character that will protect it. We can carry a healthy sense of indignation within us that will shatter the complacency that has seeped into our society in the name of all we have lost, knowing there is still so much to be saved.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 57 Others Neighbors. Shared concerns. A respect for our differences and strength in what we share. This is happening throughout America. I honestly believe this. I look to the people who are standing their ground in the Bolsa Chica and Ballona Wetlands in the Los Angeles Basin against tremendous opposition, billion-dollar developments, movie moguls like Steven Spielberg, oil interests, and freeways. Look to a small group of neighbors in Yaak, Montana, the North Woods in New England, restoration work in the prairies of the Midwest, urban gardens, the incredible work of local land trusts to preserve and protect what they see as critical habitat for wildlife and the human spirit—all these examples provide models of compassion and savvy, at once. Faith and stamina. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a We are in need of a reflective activism born out of humility, not arrogance. Reflection, with deep time spent in the consideration of others, opens the door to becoming a compassionate participant in the world. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b 77 "To care is neither conservative nor radical," writes John Ralston Saul. "It is a form of consciousness." To be in the service of something beyond ourselves -- to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together -- this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59a Interviews Indy: Do you feel hopeful that we might learn something at this terrible time? TTW: It is no longer the survival of the fittest but the survival of compassion -- to extend our humanity to include honor and respect for plants, animals, rocks, rivers and air. It feels like we're awake as a nation for the first time in a long time. We haven't been awake, not conscious of our connection to the world. There's an exquisite tenderness right now, and that is a gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 “I think that comes back to our obsession with our own species. That we aren’t willing to extend our compassion outwardly . . . we are deeply, deeply solipsistic.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 20 “Our needs as human beings are really very simple—to love and be loved, a sense of connection and compassion, a desire to be heard. Health. Family. Home. Once again the dance, that sharing of breath, that merging with something larger than ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 317 78 CONNECTION … “But what kind of impoverishment is this to withhold emotion, to restrain our passionate nature in the face of a generous life just to appease our fears? A man or woman whose mind reins in the heart when the body sings desperately for connection can only expect more isolation and greater ecological disease. Our lack of intimacy with each other is in direct proportion to our lack of intimacy with the land. We have taken our love inside and abandoned the wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “Personal ritual or shared ceremony rooted in landscape provides connections, continuity. It reminds us that we do not stand alone. Rather, we become initiated into something much larger than ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 70 “When we tamper with the balance of things the scales rarely meet equilibrium again. This story is written over and over in our history, be it with Native Peoples, economics, or bears. We are grossly insensitive to the connectedness of life. Eric Hoffer makes the point: ‘Lack of sensitivity is basically an unawareness of ourselves.’ In terms of culture which is intrinsically linked with landscape, is it possible to meet another with empathetic eyes? Perhaps. If we can begin to focus beyond ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 113-114 “Landscape shapes culture. . . . Perhaps we can begin to find the origins of our cultural inheritance in the land – not to move backwards, but forward to understanding the profound interconnectedness of all living things. As Gregory Bateson says, ‘If the world be connected . . . then thinking in terms of stories must be share by all mind or minds, whether ours or those of redwood forests and sea anemones.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 135 CONNECTION 79 COURAGE We can ask ourselves within the context and specificity of our own lives, how fear can be transformed into courage, silence transformed into honest expression, and spiritual isolation quelled through a sense of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 At the end of Camus’s essay, he states, “He who bases his hopes on human nature is a fool, he who gives up in the face of circumstances is a coward. And henceforth, the only honorable course will be to stake everything on a formidable gamble: that words are more powerful than munitions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a We have a history of bravery in this nation and we must call it forward now. Our future is guaranteed only by the degree of our personal involvement and commitment to an inclusive justice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b COURAGE 80 CREATION Red Coyote Clan: “They understand the earth re-creates itself day after day.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 26 “Wilderness is both the bedrock lands of southern Utah and a metaphor of ‘unlimited possibility.’ The question must be asked, ‘How can we cut ourselves off from the very source of our creation?’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 75 Open Space of Democracy Beauty is presence and it resides in the Brooks Range. . . . These are not mountains but ramparts of raw creation. The retreat of gods. Crags, cirques, and glaciers sing hymns to ice. Talus slopes in grays and taupes become the marbled papers, creased and folded, inside prayer books. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 38a 81 CREATIVITY Refuge “The cancer process is not unlike the creative process. Ideas emerge slowly, quietly, invisibly at first. They are most often abnormal thoughts, thoughts that disrupt the quotidian, the accustomed. They divide and multiply, become invasive. With time, they congeal, consolidate, and make themselves conscious. An idea surfaces and demands total attention. I take it from my body and give it away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 44 82 CRITIQUE OF SOCIETY, CRITICISM Leap Walking around the shoreline, stepping over heaps of garbage braided into the bulrushes, the familiar grief I know at home returns. I cam to Spain to get away from my torn heart ripped open every time I see the landscapes I love ravaged, lost, and opened for development. There are too many of us, six billion and rising, our collective impact on fragile communities is deadly. --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 115 Red “It’s not just the loss of a ‘playground’ or a place of recreation, as many opponents argue; it’s the fundamental loss of natural systems, free-flowing rivers, rock art pecked and painted into stone by the hands of the Ancient Ones a thousand years ago. It is the drowning of a way of life, the death of natural communities that are much older, and perhaps wiser, than those of our own species.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 6-7 “The region of the American West shares common ground with the South: each has found its voice in loss. The South was forever shaped by the Civil War, and today we in the West are in the midst of our own. It is not a battle over issues of slavery. It is a battle over public and private uses of land, what will be developed and what will remain sovereign. Guns are replaced by metaphorical monkey wrenches and shovels.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 7 “Meanwhile, the great beast of progress continues to make its tracks upon the wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 15 “And then after having made enough pilgrimages to the slickrock to warrant sufficient separation from society’s oughts and shoulds, look again for the novice you were, who asked if the standstone bleeds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 “We must ask ourselves as Americans, ‘Can we really survive the worship of our own destructiveness?’ We do not exist in isolation. Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life-forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 76 “Without a philosophy of wildness and the recognition of its inherent spiritual values, we will, as E. O. Wilson reminds us, ‘descend farther from heaven’s air if we forget how much the natural world means to us.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “For those of us who so love these lands in Utah, who recognize America’s Redrock Wilderness as a sanctuary for the preservation of our souls, Senate Bill 884, the Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995, is the beginning of this forgetting, a forgetting we may never reclaim.” 83 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “We have forgotten the option of restraint.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 97 “As locals tied to the exploitive susceptibility of the land we live on, we wind up thanking our federal government for saving us from ourselves. A nation’s appetite for beauty transcends a state’s hunger for greed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Wild Act,” Red, 101 “But there is something deeper at stake here in Utah and for that matter in North America. It has to do with knitting the wild back together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Wild Act,” Red, 101 “Without feeling. Perhaps these two words are the key, the only way we can begin to understand our abuse of each other and our abuse of the land. Could it be that what we fear most is our capacity to feel, so that we annihilate symbolically and physically that which is beautiful and tender, anything that dares us to consider our creative selves? The erotic world is silenced, reduced to a collection of objects we curate and control, be it a vase, a woman, or wilderness. Our lives become a piece in the puzzle of pornography as we go through the motions of daily intercourse without any engagement of the soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 108 “Wherever I walk on the streets of Salt Lake City, I am seeing changes I can no longer bear. . . . Never mind the depression that follows, that we fail to make the connection between a lack of sunlight and a lack of joy. As urban dwellers, we simply get up every morning and go to work.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 116 “I am aware that my own house, the home we live in and love, devoured this land. . . . My rational self understands the inevitability of growth and my own role inside it. But what I find harder and harder to abide is not growth, but the growth of greed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 117 Land of little rain: “Not much has changed regarding the aridity and austerity of the region. What has changed is the number of needs and desires that we ask the earth to support.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 “These remnants of the wild, biologically intact, are precious few. We are losing ground. No matter how much we choose to preserve the pristine through our passion, photography, or politics, we cannot forget the simple truth: There are too many of us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 “We are on fire, even in water, after tumbling and mumbling inside a society where wealth determines if we are heard, what options we have, what power we hold.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 161 Refuge 84 It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “History has shown us that exclusivity in the name of empire building eventually fails. Fear of discord undermines creativity. And creativity lies at the heart of adaptive evolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 “I don’t know if Brigham Young ever ventured to Gunnison Island or observed the finely tuned society of pelicans. But had his attention been focused more on Earth than ‘heaven on earth’ his vision for managing the Saints in the Great Basin might have been altered.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 107 The Fremont oscillated with the lake levels. As Great Salt Lake rose, they retreated. As the lake retreated, they were drawn back. Theirs was not a fixed society like ours. They followed the expanding and receding shorelines. It was the ebb and flow of their lives In many ways, the Fremont had more options than we have. What do we do when faced with a rising Great Salt Lake? Pump it west. What did the Fremont do? Move. They accommodated change were, so often, we are immobilized by it. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 183 “Conservation laws are only as strong as the people who support them. We look away and they are in danger of being overturned, compromised, and weakened.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 264-265 The Appeals Court overturned the earlier ruling on the ground that the U.S. “was protected from suit by the legal doctrine of sovereign immunity. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 285 85 “I must question everything, even it if means losing my faith, even if it means becoming a member of a border tribe among my own people.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 286 “When the Atomic Energy Commission described the country north of the Nevada Test Site as ‘virtually uninhabited desert terrain,’ my family and the birds at Great Salt Lake were some of the ‘virtual uninhabitants.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 Robert Smithson’s “notion of the ‘entropic wasteland’ we have created from our industrial society.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 312 Unspoken Hunger “There is no such thing as waste except in the world of man.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 9 “When in the presence of natural order, we remember the potentiality of life, which has been overgrown by civilization.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 9 Mention of Japanese internment camps --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 50 “It is Artemis . . . who denounces the world of patriarchy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 53 “Perhaps the fear of bears and the fear of women lies in our refusal to be tamed, the impulses we arouse and the forces we represent.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 “I find myself being mentored by the land once again, as two great blue herons fly over me. Their wingbeats are slow, so slow they remind me that, all around, energy is being conserved. I too can bring my breath down to dwell in a deeper place where my blood-soul restores to my body what society has drained and dredged away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 62 “But what kind of impoverishment is this to withhold emotion, to restrain our passionate nature in the face of a generous life just to appease our fears? A man or woman whose mind reins in the heart when the body sings desperately for connection can only expect more isolation and greater ecological disease. Our lack of intimacy with each other is in direct proportion to our lack of intimacy with the land. We have taken our love inside and abandoned the wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “Audre Lorde tells us, ‘We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves . . . our deepest cravings. And the fear of our deepest cravings keeps them suspect, keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, and leads us to settle for or accept many aspects of our own oppression.” 86 --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “Eight hundred acres of wetlands. It is nothing. It is everything. We are a tribe of fractured individuals who can now only celebrate remnants or wildness. One red-tailed hawk. Two great blue herons. Wildlands and wildlives’ oppression lies in our desire to control and our desire to control has robbed us of feeling. Our rib cages have been broken and our hearts cut out. The knives of our priests are bloody. We, the people. Our own hands are bloody.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “’Blood knowledge,’ says D. H. Lawrence. ‘Oh, what a catastrophe for man when he cut himself off from the rhythm of the year, from his unison with the sun and the earth. Oh, what a catastrophe, what a maiming of love when it was made a personal, merely personal feeling, taken away from the magical connection of the solstice and equinox. This is what is wrong with us. We are bleeding at the roots. . . .’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “The land is love. Love is what we fear. To disengage from the earth is our own oppression. I stand on the edge of these wetlands, a place of renewal, an oasis in the desert, as an act of faith, believing the sun has completed the southern end of its journey and is now contemplating its return toward light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 On Stone Creek Woman: “But in the solitude of that side canyon where I swam at her feet, she reminds me we must stand vigilant.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 72 Peter Matthiessen said “the American psyche that wants war is the same psyche that doesn’t want wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Patriot’s Journal,” Unspoken Hunger, 108 “I allow myself to struggle with the obligations of a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one.” Am I an activist or an artist? Do I stay home or do I speak out? When Edward Abbey calls for the artist to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. Otherwise, who will be there to chart the changes?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 133-134 Open Space of Democracy We have heard our president, our vice-president, our secretary of defense, and our attorney general cultivate fear and command with lies, suggesting our homeland security and safety must reside in their hands, not ours. Force has trumped debate and diplomacy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20a 87 Our language has been taken hostage. Words like patriotism, freedom, and democracy have been bound and gagged, forced to perform indecent acts through the abuse of slogans. Freedom will prevail. We are liberating Iraq. God bless America. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20a For many of us, the war on terror is not something that has been initiated outside our country, but inside our country as well. We wonder who to trust and what to believe. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20a How do we engage in conversation at a time when the definition of what it means to be a patriot is being narrowly construed? You are either with us or against us. Discussion is waged in absolutes not ambiguities. Corporations have more access to power than people. We, the people. Fear has replaced discussion. Business practices have taken precedence over public process. It doesn't matter what the United Nations advises or what world opinion may be. America in the early years of the twenty-first century has become a force unto itself. The laws it chooses to abide by are its own. What role does this leave us as individuals within a republic? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 Abraham Lincoln warns: "What constitutes the bulwark of our own liberty and independence? It is not our crowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, our army and our navy. These are not our reliance against tyranny. All of these may be turned against us without making us weaker for the struggle. Our reliance is in the spirit which prized liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands everywhere. Destroy this spirit and you have planted the seeds of despotism at your own doors. Familiarize yourselves with the chains of bondage and you prepare your own limbs to wear them. Accustom to trample on the rights of others and you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 How do we engage in responsive citizenship in times of terror? Do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 When minds close, democracy begins to close. Fear creeps in; silence overtakes speech. Rhetoric masquerades as thought. Dogma is dressed up like an idea. And we are told what to do, not asked what we think. Security is guaranteed. The lie begins to carry more power than the truth until the words of our own founding fathers are forgotten and the images of television replace history. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 An open democracy inspires wisdom and the dignity of choice. A closed society inspires terror and the tyranny of belief. We are no longer citizens. We are mediaengineered clones wondering who we are and why we feel alone. Lethargy trumps participation. We fall prey to the cynicism of our own resignation. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 88 When democracy disappears, we are asked to accept the way things are. I beg you: Do not accept the way things are. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Since George W. Bush took the office of President of the United States I have been sick at heart, unable to stomach or abide this administration’s aggressive policies directed against the environment, education, social services, healthcare, and our civil liberties—basically, the wholesale destruction of seemingly everything that contributes to a free society, except the special interests of big business. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 24 In my darkest moments, I rant and write polemics as I watch a war of exploitation being waged against our public lands in the American West and Alaska. . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 24 The erosion of speech is the build-up of war. Silence no longer supports prayers, but lives inside the open mouths of the dead. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 After much thought, what I would be willing to die for, and give my life to, is the freedom of speech. It is the open door to all other freedoms. We are a nation at war with ourselves. Until we can turn to one another and offer our sincere words as to why we feel the way we do with an honest commitment to hear what others have to say, we will continue to project our anger on the world in true, unconscious acts of terror. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 How we choose to support a living democracy will determine whether it will survive as the beating heart of a republic or merely be preserved as a withered artifact of a cold and ruthless empire. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 How we choose to support a living democracy will determine whether it will survive as the beating heart of a republic or merely be preserved as a withered artifact of a cold and ruthless empire. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 We can ask ourselves within the context and specificity of our own lives, how fear can be transformed into courage, silence transformed into honest expression, and spiritual isolation quelled through a sense of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Subhankar Banerjee has become, unwittingly, a celebrity photographer who bears the distinction of being censored by the United States government. For what? The threat of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 41b As the Brooks Range recedes behind us, I am mindful that Mardy is approaching 101 years of age. She has never shed her optimism for wild Alaska. I am half her age and my niece, 89 Abby, is half of mine. We share her passion for this order of quiet freedom. America's wildlands are vulnerable and they will always be assailable as long as what we value in this nation is measured in monetary terms, not spiritual ones. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a Looking over my shoulder from the rise on the bridge, all I could see was an endless river of people walking, many hand in hand, all side by side, peacefully, united in place with a will for social change. Michelangelo was among them, as art students from Florence raised replicas of his Prigioni above their heads, the unfinished sculptures of prisoners trying to break free from the confines of stone. Machiavelli was among them, as philosophy students from Rome carried his words: "There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things." Leonardo da Vinci was among them, his words carrying a particularly contemporary sting: "And by reason of their boundless pride... there shall be nothing remaining on the earth or under the earth or in the waters that shall not be pursued and molested or destroyed." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Obviously the reference to Machiavelli calling for a new order suggests that all radical change may not be progressive The hundreds of thousands of individuals who walked together in the name of social change could be seen as the dignified, radical center walking boldly toward the future. As an American in Florence, I wondered, how do we walk with the rest of the world when our foreign policies seem to run counter to the rising global awareness of a world hungry for honest diplomacy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Here in the redrock desert, which now carries the weight of more leases for oil and gas than its fragile red skin can support, due to the aggressive energy policy of the Bush administration, the open space of democracy appears to be closing. The Rocky Mountain states are feeling this same press of energy extraction with scant thought being given to energy alternatives. A domestic imperialism has crept into our country with the same assured arrogance and ideology-of-might that seem evident in Iraq. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a It is easy to believe we the people have no say; that the powers in Washington will roll over our local concerns with their corporate energy ties and thumper trucks. It is easy to believe that the American will is only focused on how to get rich, how to be entertained, and how to distract itself from the hard choices we have before us as a nation. I refuse to believe this. The only space I see truly capable of being closed is not the land or our civil liberties but our own hearts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a It is time to ask, when will our national culture of self-interest stop cutting the bonds of community to shore up individual gain and instead begin to nourish communal life through acts of giving, not taking? It is time to acknowledge the violence rendered to our souls each time a mountaintop is removed to expose a coal vein in Appalachia or when a wetland is drained, dredged, and filled for a strip mall. And the time has come to demand an end to the wholesale dismissal of the sacredness of life in all its variety and forms, as 90 we witness the repeated breaking of laws, and the relaxing of laws, in the sole name of growth and greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a A wild salmon is not the same as a salmon raised in a hatchery. And a prairie dog colony is not a shooting gallery for rifle recreationists, but a culture that has evolved with the prairie since the Pleistocene. At what point do we finally lay our bodies down to say this is no longer acceptable? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a We have made the mistake of confusing democracy with capitalism and have mistaken political engagement with a political machinery we all understand to be corrupt. It is time to resist the simplistic, utilitarian view that what is good for business is good for humanity in all its complex web of relationships. A spiritual democracy is inspired by our own sense of what we can accomplish together, honoring an integrated society where the social, intellectual, physical, and economic well-being of all is considered, not just the wealth and health of the corporate few. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government," said Edward Abbey. To not be engaged in the democratic process, to sit back and let others do the work for us, is to fall prey to bitterness and cynicism. It is the passivity of cynicism that has broken the back of our collective outrage. We succumb to our own depression believing there is nothing we can do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a If we cannot begin to embrace democracy as a way of life: the right to be educated, to think, discuss, dissent, create, and act, acting in imaginative and revolutionary ways . . . . if we fail to see the necessity of each of us to participate in the formation of an ethical life . . . if we cannot bring a sense of equity and respect into our homes, our marriages, our schools, and our churches, alongside our local, state, and federal governments, then democracy simply becomes, as Dewey suggests, “a form of idolatry,” as we descend into the basement of nationalism. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a We are a people addicted to speed and superficiality, and a nation that prides itself on moral superiority. But our folly lies in not seeing what we base our superiority on. Wealth and freedom? What is wealth if we cannot share it? What is freedom if we cannot offer it as a vision of compassion and restraint, rather than force and aggression? Without an acknowledgement of complexity in a society of sound bites, we will not find the true source of our anger or an authentic passion that will propel us forward to the place of personal engagement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b Derrick Jensen is in his own words, "a possessed writer." His books are manifestos of how to live more consciously on the planet. He writes, "We are members of the most destructive culture ever to exist. Our assault on the natural world, on indigenous and other cultures, on women, on children, on all of us through the possibility of nuclear suicide and other means -- all these are unprecedented in their magnitude and ferocity." 91 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, Teddy Roosevelt disagreed with President Woodrow Wilson's thoughts on World War I. Roosevelt said, "To announce that there must be no criticism of the president or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, Others I was invited by the literature department of the University of Hiroshima and the Japanese Association for the Study of Literature and the Environment to give a reading. The newspaper Yomiuri Shimbun was sponsoring my visit. I read "The Clan of One-breasted Women," which is the epilogue from my book Refuge, about our family's struggles and adjustment with my mother's death from cancer and its ultimate relationship with nuclear testing. I spoke of what it meant to grow up in a traditional Mormon home, our adherence to strict moral principles and the subtle constraints placed on women in the name of patriarchy. I shared how the price of obedience became too high as I watched the women in my family die common heroic deaths. I spoke about committing civil disobedience with other women from Utah at the Nevada Test Site, of my arrest and release as I sought to both confront and reconcile my government's irresponsible actions. Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Hiroshima Journey,” 3 The way in which we treat the world is a measure of our sensitivity. Can we really survive the worship of our own destructiveness? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Letter of Solidarity” “Rachel Carson presents her discoveries of destruction in the form of storytelling. In example after example, grounded in the natural world, she weaves together facts and fictions into an environmental tale of life, love, and loss. Her voice is forceful and dignified, but sentence after sentence she delivers right hand blows and counter punches to the status quo rules by chemical companies within the Kingdom of Agriculture.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 43 “Rachel Carson has called us to action. Silent Spring is a social critique of our modern way of life, as essential to the evolving American ideals of freedom and democracy as anything ever written by our founding fathers.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 59 We cannot afford to take anything for granted in the name of wildness. Surely there is a line that cannot be crossed and that line is drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Conservation is a generational stance where vows to preserve an ecological integrity in the interest of community must be renewed over and over again. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Do we have it in us to rise up against the current political winds that say unabashedly, "the only thing we are interested in conserving is this blessed American way of life." 92 --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 The Bush Administration is both arrogant and ignorant. Arrogant enough to say they can and will drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge without any adverse impact to the land, and ignorant enough to believe it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Other brief essays “Bearing Witness” Interviews If we only see the West as a place where there's money to be made, a place to subdivide, to drill for oil and gas, we will lose the very thing that makes us westerners and Americans. We have forgotten the option of restraint, whether we're talking about our response to terrorism, or about growth and development. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: What priority do we assign conservation of wild lands given the current emphasis on international affairs and national defense? TTW: I think wild lands have never been more important than they are now. They are also more threatened as a result of the events of Sept. 11. Just today, a senator from Arkansas was trying to tie the President's energy bill to the bill for the war effort. America's Red Rock Wilderness is threatened by the urgency to dig for gas and oil. Right now, right on the boundary of Canyonlands, there are huge machines, trucks with massive tires, thumping the land to test it for gas preserves. There are assumptions that we are now at war and environmental and ecological integrity no longer matters. We're going to have to be very strong, very smart, very certain in our cause. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: Just how serious is the threat to designated wilderness posed by the Bush administration? TTW: I think it's an enormous threat. When you look at the oil and gas interests that fueled Bush's campaign, it's a whole different orientation to what we saw in the Clinton administration. They have a viewpoint about how the land should be used, and that translates to exploitation of natural resources to fuel the economy. The agenda of the Bush administration, set prior to Sept. 11, has just been accentuated in the name of patriotism. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: What can we do to raise the issue to a level of national importance? TTW: We need to remember that there are other definitions of natural resources, like courage and beauty. Those of us who believe in the value of wilderness are going to have to get stronger and stronger. There will be a time when speaking out about the environment is going to be seen as anti-patriotic. Maybe we will have to create a new vocabulary. It's not them and us, Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals; it's all of us trying to survive and live together on Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: What's the current status of the Redrock Wilderness Act? 93 TTW: The Redrock Wilderness Bill currently before Congress, in some ways has never had more support. But it also has never had such strong opposition. The Bush and Cheney agenda is an energy agenda, and they'll take the wild lands for that purpose unless we are a vigilant, responsible citizenry. All I'm asking for is a healthy, conscious discussion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Our lack of intimacy with the natural world is in direct correspondence with our lack of intimacy with each other. Our bodies, the body of the Earth -- there is no separation. When we cause harm to the natural world, we also cause harm to ourselves. The health of the planet is our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 Traditionally, Christianity has made a distinction, a spiritual separation between human beings and other creatures, be they plants or animals. We have dominion over the Earth. This philosophy within the Judeo-Christian mind has wreaked havoc on the planet. We have abused our natural resources and given little thought to the notion of sustainability. I believe this is changing as we witness what the devastating effects of our irresponsible actions have created in terms of environmental degradation, be it global warming or deforestation or quite simply, the loss of open space within our cities and towns. We are slowly learning what it means to be good stewards, to enter into a dialogue with the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 How do we marry our joy with our sorrow in a world as delicate and strong as spider's silk? How do we continue to find faith in a world that seems to have abandoned the sacred? --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 London: You've said that your connection to the natural world is also your connection to yourself. Do you think that's true for everybody? Williams: We're animals, I think we forget that. I think there is an ancient archetypal memory that still exists within us. If we deny that, what is the cost? So I do think it's what binds us as human beings. I wonder, What is it to be human? Especially now that we are so urban. How do we remember our connection with place? What is the umbilical cord that roots us to that primal, instinctive, erotic place? Every time I walk to the edge of this continent and feel the sand beneath my feet, feel the seafoam move up my body, I think, "Ah, yes, evolution." [laughs] You know, it's there, we just forget. I worry, Scott, that we are a people in a process of great transition and we are forgetting what we are connected to. We are losing our frame of reference. Pelicans pass by and we hardly know who they are, we don't know their stories. Again, at what price? I think it's leading us to a place of inconsolable loneliness. That's what I mean by "An Unspoken Hunger." It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by material things. It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by the constant denial. I think that the only thing that can bring us into a place of fullness is being out in the land with other. Then we remember where the source of our power lies. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 94 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 As Harold Bloom has said, Mormonism is an "American religion." We have become very successful. What was once community-based has now become more corporate-based. So I think what we're seeing is not something unique to Mormonism, but something that we're seeing in the evolution of American culture. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 JW: Ched Myers wrote a piece in these pages several years ago about "The Bible and earth spirituality" in which he concluded that, "It is not the Bible that hates nature, but rather the culture of modernity." TTW: Exactly. This relates to that process of retrieval and restoration of which I was speaking. I think we're seeing a greening of our churches because our life depends on it. I think it's that simple. If we are concerned about spiritual health, it must be in correspondence with ecological health. Look at people like Paul Gorman or the Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople, who was first to come forward in saying that doing harm to the environment is a sin. And so our consciousness is expanding. We're retrieving our animal mind that knew this in our early stages of development. This is very positive, but it is met with suspicion because it is not human-centered, but life-centered. That's very threatening to a vertical notion of power, a power that isn't based on Earth, but on heaven. So, in a way, we're grounding our spirituality, we're embodying it. And we all know that the body is something that we're terrified of in religion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 “the Navajo culture sent me back home to my own. There are similarities, a strong family structure reinforced through generational storytelling, a keen belief in the power of healing, but there are also marked differences. I had to come to terms with the fact that in Mormon culture, or any Christian religion for that matter, we are taught that human beings as having dominion over the land. This is one of the things that has led to my own estrangement from orthodoxy. Most Indigenous People do not view their relationship toward the earth this way. They see themselves as a part of nature with a sense of kinship extended to all forms of life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 95 “This is not to say that writing about landscape is an epiphany around every corner. That kind of writing drives me crazy. But to see landscape as a complex set of principles, metaphors, and social considerations that are germane to this point in time. I think about Octavio Paz when he says that if we’re interested in revolution, an evolution of the spirit, it requires both love and criticism, that it is a writer’s obligation to critique his or her own society or community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 16 “Our culture of consumerism tells us what we need, what we want, and what we deserve. It is the economics of entitlement. And I believe it is an illusion. I believe our needs are more basic: home; family; community; health; the health of the land which includes all life forms, plants, animals, and human beings. We need open country, open spaces, a wildness that offers us deliverance from inauthentic lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 “What we are doing as a species is an incredible mass abuse of our own spirit and of the spirit of life around us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320 “We’re creating desperate, isolated, fast-paced lives that give us enormous excuse not to be engaged. We are lonely.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322 CRITIQUE, CRITICISM 96 CRITIQUE - THEMES Necessity of criticism “This is not to say that writing about landscape is an epiphany around every corner. That kind of writing drives me crazy. But to see landscape as a complex set of principles, metaphors, and social considerations that are germane to this point in time. I think about Octavio Paz when he says that if we’re interested in revolution, an evolution of the spirit, it requires both love and criticism, that it is a writer’s obligation to critique his or her own society or community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 16 “I must question everything, even it if means losing my faith, even if it means becoming a member of a border tribe among my own people.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 286 “Rachel Carson has called us to action. Silent Spring is a social critique of our modern way of life, as essential to the evolving American ideals of freedom and democracy as anything ever written by our founding fathers.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 59 “I allow myself to struggle with the obligations of a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one.” Am I an activist or an artist? Do I stay home or do I speak out? When Edward Abbey calls for the artist to be a critic of his or her society, do we live on the page or do we live in the world? It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. Otherwise, who will be there to chart the changes?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 133-134 On Stone Creek Woman: “But in the solitude of that side canyon where I swam at her feet, she reminds me we must stand vigilant.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 72 IN THE FORM OF STORY-TELLING “Rachel Carson presents her discoveries of destruction in the form of storytelling. In example after example, grounded in the natural world, she weaves together facts and fictions into an environmental tale of life, love, and loss. Her voice is forceful and dignified, but sentence after sentence she delivers right hand blows and counter punches to the status quo rules by chemical companies within the Kingdom of Agriculture.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 43 Ravaged landscapes & loss of natural communities Walking around the shoreline, stepping over heaps of garbage braided into the bulrushes, the familiar grief I know at home returns. I came to Spain to get away from my torn heart ripped open every time I see the landscapes I love ravaged, lost, and opened for development. There are too many of us, six billion and rising, our collective impact on fragile communities is deadly. 97 --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 115 “It’s not just the loss of a ‘playground’ or a place of recreation, as many opponents argue; it’s the fundamental loss of natural systems, free-flowing rivers, rock art pecked and painted into stone by the hands of the Ancient Ones a thousand years ago. It is the drowning of a way of life, the death of natural communities that are much older, and perhaps wiser, than those of our own species.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 6-7 “The region of the American West shares common ground with the South: each has found its voice in loss. The South was forever shaped by the Civil War, and today we in the West are in the midst of our own. It is not a battle over issues of slavery. It is a battle over public and private uses of land, what will be developed and what will remain sovereign. Guns are replaced by metaphorical monkey wrenches and shovels.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 7 “Meanwhile, the great beast of progress continues to make its tracks upon the wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 15 “We must ask ourselves as Americans, ‘Can we really survive the worship of our own destructiveness?’ We do not exist in isolation. Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life-forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 76 “Wherever I walk on the streets of Salt Lake City, I am seeing changes I can no longer bear. . . . Never mind the depression that follows, that we fail to make the connection between a lack of sunlight and a lack of joy. As urban dwellers, we simply get up every morning and go to work.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 116 “I am aware that my own house, the home we live in and love, devoured this land. . . . My rational self understands the inevitability of growth and my own role inside it. But what I find harder and harder to abide is not growth, but the growth of greed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 117 “What we are doing as a species is an incredible mass abuse of our own spirit and of the spirit of life around us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320 Robert Smithson’s “notion of the ‘entropic wasteland’ we have created from our industrial society.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 312 “There is no such thing as waste except in the world of man.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 9 98 Nature fragmented “But there is something deeper at stake here in Utah and for that matter in North America. It has to do with knitting the wild back together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Wild Act,” Red, 101 “Eight hundred acres of wetlands. It is nothing. It is everything. We are a tribe of fractured individuals who can now only celebrate remnants or wildness. One red-tailed hawk. Two great blue herons. Sense of dominion, anthropocentrism “the Navajo culture sent me back home to my own. There are similarities, a strong family structure reinforced through generational storytelling, a keen belief in the power of healing, but there are also marked differences. I had to come to terms with the fact that in Mormon culture, or any Christian religion for that matter, we are taught that human beings as having dominion over the land. This is one of the things that has led to my own estrangement from orthodoxy. Most Indigenous People do not view their relationship toward the earth this way. They see themselves as a part of nature with a sense of kinship extended to all forms of life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 JW: Ched Myers wrote a piece in these pages several years ago about "The Bible and earth spirituality" in which he concluded that, "It is not the Bible that hates nature, but rather the culture of modernity." TTW: Exactly. This relates to that process of retrieval and restoration of which I was speaking. I think we're seeing a greening of our churches because our life depends on it. I think it's that simple. If we are concerned about spiritual health, it must be in correspondence with ecological health. Look at people like Paul Gorman or the Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople, who was first to come forward in saying that doing harm to the environment is a sin. And so our consciousness is expanding. We're retrieving our animal mind that knew this in our early stages of development. This is very positive, but it is met with suspicion because it is not human-centered, but life-centered. That's very threatening to a vertical notion of power, a power that isn't based on Earth, but on heaven. So, in a way, we're grounding our spirituality, we're embodying it. And we all know that the body is something that we're terrified of in religion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our 99 bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 Traditionally, Christianity has made a distinction, a spiritual separation between human beings and other creatures, be they plants or animals. We have dominion over the Earth. This philosophy within the Judeo-Christian mind has wreaked havoc on the planet. We have abused our natural resources and given little thought to the notion of sustainability. I believe this is changing as we witness what the devastating effects of our irresponsible actions have created in terms of environmental degradation, be it global warming or deforestation or quite simply, the loss of open space within our cities and towns. We are slowly learning what it means to be good stewards, to enter into a dialogue with the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 Wildlands and wildlives’ oppression lies in our desire to control and our desire to control has robbed us of feeling. Our rib cages have been broken and our hearts cut out. The knives of our priests are bloody. We, the people. Our own hands are bloody.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 Patriarchy I was invited by the literature department of the University of Hiroshima and the Japanese Association for the Study of Literature and the Environment to give a reading. The newspaper Yomiuri Shimbun was sponsoring my visit. I read "The Clan of One-breasted Women," which is the epilogue from my book Refuge, about our family's struggles and adjustment with my mother's death from cancer and its ultimate relationship with nuclear testing. I spoke of what it meant to grow up in a traditional Mormon home, our adherence to strict moral principles and the subtle constraints placed on women in the name of patriarchy. I shared how the price of obedience became too high as I watched the women in my family die common heroic deaths. I spoke about committing civil disobedience with other women from Utah at the Nevada Test Site, of my arrest and release as I sought to both confront and reconcile my government's irresponsible actions. Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Hiroshima Journey,” 3 “It is Artemis . . . who denounces the world of patriarchy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 53 Disconnected from nature London: You've said that your connection to the natural world is also your connection to yourself. Do you think that's true for everybody? Williams: We're animals, I think we forget that. I think there is an ancient archetypal memory that still exists within us. If we deny that, what is the cost? So I do think it's what binds us as human beings. I wonder, What is it to be human? Especially now that we are so urban. How do we remember our connection with place? What is the umbilical cord that roots us to that primal, instinctive, erotic place? Every time I walk to the edge of this continent and feel the sand beneath my feet, feel the seafoam move up my body, I think, "Ah, yes, evolution." [laughs] You know, it's there, we just forget. 100 I worry, Scott, that we are a people in a process of great transition and we are forgetting what we are connected to. We are losing our frame of reference. Pelicans pass by and we hardly know who they are, we don't know their stories. Again, at what price? I think it's leading us to a place of inconsolable loneliness. That's what I mean by "An Unspoken Hunger." It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by material things. It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by the constant denial. I think that the only thing that can bring us into a place of fullness is being out in the land with other. Then we remember where the source of our power lies. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 Our lack of intimacy with the natural world is in direct correspondence with our lack of intimacy with each other. Our bodies, the body of the Earth -- there is no separation. When we cause harm to the natural world, we also cause harm to ourselves. The health of the planet is our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 “’Blood knowledge,’ says D. H. Lawrence. ‘Oh, what a catastrophe for man when he cut himself off from the rhythm of the year, from his unison with the sun and the earth. Oh, what a catastrophe, what a maiming of love when it was made a personal, merely personal feeling, taken away from the magical connection of the solstice and equinox. This is what is wrong with us. We are bleeding at the roots. . . .’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 Lack of sense of spiritual values of nature “Without a philosophy of wildness and the recognition of its inherent spiritual values, we will, as E. O. Wilson reminds us, ‘descend farther from heaven’s air if we forget how much the natural world means to us.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “For those of us who so love these lands in Utah, who recognize America’s Redrock Wilderness as a sanctuary for the preservation of our souls, Senate Bill 884, the Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995, is the beginning of this forgetting, a forgetting we may never reclaim.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 How do we marry our joy with our sorrow in a world as delicate and strong as spider's silk? How do we continue to find faith in a world that seems to have abandoned the sacred? --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 NEED FOR FEELING “Without feeling. Perhaps these two words are the key, the only way we can begin to understand our abuse of each other and our abuse of the land. Could it be that what we fear most is our capacity to feel, so that we annihilate symbolically and physically that which is beautiful and tender, anything that dares us to consider our creative selves? The erotic world is silenced, reduced to a collection of objects we curate and control, be it a vase, a woman, or wilderness. Our lives become a piece in the puzzle of pornography as we go through the motions of daily intercourse without any engagement of the soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 108 101 Wildlands and wildlives’ oppression lies in our desire to control and our desire to control has robbed us of feeling. Our rib cages have been broken and our hearts cut out. The knives of our priests are bloody. We, the people. Our own hands are bloody.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “The land is love. Love is what we fear. To disengage from the earth is our own oppression. I stand on the edge of these wetlands, a place of renewal, an oasis in the desert, as an act of faith, believing the sun has completed the southern end of its journey and is now contemplating its return toward light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “’Blood knowledge,’ says D. H. Lawrence. ‘Oh, what a catastrophe for man when he cut himself off from the rhythm of the year, from his unison with the sun and the earth. Oh, what a catastrophe, what a maiming of love when it was made a personal, merely personal feeling, taken away from the magical connection of the solstice and equinox. This is what is wrong with us. We are bleeding at the roots. . . .’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “But what kind of impoverishment is this to withhold emotion, to restrain our passionate nature in the face of a generous life just to appease our fears? A man or woman whose mind reins in the heart when the body sings desperately for connection can only expect more isolation and greater ecological disease. Our lack of intimacy with each other is in direct proportion to our lack of intimacy with the land. We have taken our love inside and abandoned the wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 Fear “Without feeling. Perhaps these two words are the key, the only way we can begin to understand our abuse of each other and our abuse of the land. Could it be that what we fear most is our capacity to feel, so that we annihilate symbolically and physically that which is beautiful and tender, anything that dares us to consider our creative selves? The erotic world is silenced, reduced to a collection of objects we curate and control, be it a vase, a woman, or wilderness. Our lives become a piece in the puzzle of pornography as we go through the motions of daily intercourse without any engagement of the soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 108 “The land is love. Love is what we fear. To disengage from the earth is our own oppression. I stand on the edge of these wetlands, a place of renewal, an oasis in the desert, as an act of faith, believing the sun has completed the southern end of its journey and is now contemplating its return toward light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “Perhaps the fear of bears and the fear of women lies in our refusal to be tamed, the impulses we arouse and the forces we represent.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 “Audre Lorde tells us, ‘We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves . . . our deepest cravings. And the fear of our deepest cravings keeps them suspect, keeps us docile 102 and loyal and obedient, and leads us to settle for or accept many aspects of our own oppression.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “But what kind of impoverishment is this to withhold emotion, to restrain our passionate nature in the face of a generous life just to appease our fears? A man or woman whose mind reins in the heart when the body sings desperately for connection can only expect more isolation and greater ecological disease. Our lack of intimacy with each other is in direct proportion to our lack of intimacy with the land. We have taken our love inside and abandoned the wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 Need to be interactive “Without feeling. Perhaps these two words are the key, the only way we can begin to understand our abuse of each other and our abuse of the land. Could it be that what we fear most is our capacity to feel, so that we annihilate symbolically and physically that which is beautiful and tender, anything that dares us to consider our creative selves? The erotic world is silenced, reduced to a collection of objects we curate and control, be it a vase, a woman, or wilderness. Our lives become a piece in the puzzle of pornography as we go through the motions of daily intercourse without any engagement of the soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 108 Nature and political/social Our lack of intimacy with the natural world is in direct correspondence with our lack of intimacy with each other. Our bodies, the body of the Earth -- there is no separation. When we cause harm to the natural world, we also cause harm to ourselves. The health of the planet is our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 Peter Matthiessen said “the American psyche that wants war is the same psyche that doesn’t want wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Patriot’s Journal,” Unspoken Hunger, 108 Political policies and structures “Conservation laws are only as strong as the people who support them. We look away and they are in danger of being overturned, compromised, and weakened.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 264-265 The Appeals Court overturned the earlier ruling on the ground that the U.S. “was protected from suit by the legal doctrine of sovereign immunity. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 285 “When the Atomic Energy Commission described the country north of the Nevada Test Site as ‘virtually uninhabited desert terrain,’ my family and the birds at Great Salt Lake were some of the ‘virtual uninhabitants.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 We cannot afford to take anything for granted in the name of wildness. Surely there is a line that cannot be crossed and that line is drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife 103 Refuge. Conservation is a generational stance where vows to preserve an ecological integrity in the interest of community must be renewed over and over again. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Do we have it in us to rise up against the current political winds that say unabashedly, "the only thing we are interested in conserving is this blessed American way of life." --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 The Bush Administration is both arrogant and ignorant. Arrogant enough to say they can and will drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge without any adverse impact to the land, and ignorant enough to believe it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Indy: What's the current status of the Redrock Wilderness Act? TTW: The Redrock Wilderness Bill currently before Congress, in some ways has never had more support. But it also has never had such strong opposition. The Bush and Cheney agenda is an energy agenda, and they'll take the wild lands for that purpose unless we are a vigilant, responsible citizenry. All I'm asking for is a healthy, conscious discussion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 As Harold Bloom has said, Mormonism is an "American religion." We have become very successful. What was once community-based has now become more corporate-based. So I think what we're seeing is not something unique to Mormonism, but something that we're seeing in the evolution of American culture. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 Indy: What can we do to raise the issue to a level of national importance? TTW: We need to remember that there are other definitions of natural resources, like courage and beauty. Those of us who believe in the value of wilderness are going to have to get stronger and stronger. There will be a time when speaking out about the environment is going to be seen as anti-patriotic. Maybe we will have to create a new vocabulary. It's not them and us, Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals; it's all of us trying to survive and live together on Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: What priority do we assign conservation of wild lands given the current emphasis on international affairs and national defense? TTW: I think wild lands have never been more important than they are now. They are also more threatened as a result of the events of Sept. 11. Just today, a senator from Arkansas was trying to tie the President's energy bill to the bill for the war effort. America's Red Rock Wilderness is threatened by the urgency to dig for gas and oil. Right now, right on the boundary of Canyonlands, there are huge machines, trucks with massive tires, thumping the land to test it for gas preserves. There are assumptions that we are now at war and environmental and ecological integrity no longer matters. We're going to have to be very strong, very smart, very certain in our cause. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: Just how serious is the threat to designated wilderness posed by the Bush administration? 104 TTW: I think it's an enormous threat. When you look at the oil and gas interests that fueled Bush's campaign, it's a whole different orientation to what we saw in the Clinton administration. They have a viewpoint about how the land should be used, and that translates to exploitation of natural resources to fuel the economy. The agenda of the Bush administration, set prior to Sept. 11, has just been accentuated in the name of patriotism. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 For many Americans, the Bush-Cheney Energy Plan is an abstraction at best, and at worst, a secret. For those of us living in the redrock desert of southern Utah, it is an earth-shaking reality as seismic explorations are underway in sensitive wildlands adjacent to Arches National Park and Canyonlands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Bearing Witness,” Orion There is nothing we can do but watch and witness the Bush-Cheney Energy Plan in action. Call it another form of terrorism played out in the theater of our public lands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Bearing Witness,” Orion OVERPOPULATION “These remnants of the wild, biologically intact, are precious few. We are losing ground. No matter how much we choose to preserve the pristine through our passion, photography, or politics, we cannot forget the simple truth: There are too many of us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 Lack of restraint “We have forgotten the option of restraint.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 97 “As locals tied to the exploitive susceptibility of the land we live on, we wind up thanking our federal government for saving us from ourselves. A nation’s appetite for beauty transcends a state’s hunger for greed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Wild Act,” Red, 101 Land of little rain: “Not much has changed regarding the aridity and austerity of the region. What has changed is the number of needs and desires that we ask the earth to support.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 “Our culture of consumerism tells us what we need, what we want, and what we deserve. It is the economics of entitlement. And I believe it is an illusion. I believe our needs are more basic: home; family; community; health; the health of the land which includes all life forms, plants, animals, and human beings. We need open country, open spaces, a wildness that offers us deliverance from inauthentic lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 If we only see the West as a place where there's money to be made, a place to subdivide, to drill for oil and gas, we will lose the very thing that makes us westerners and Americans. We have forgotten the option of restraint, whether we're talking about our response to terrorism, or about growth and development. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 105 Quiet desperation “We’re creating desperate, isolated, fast-paced lives that give us enormous excuse not to be engaged. We are lonely.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322 “What we are doing as a species is an incredible mass abuse of our own spirit and of the spirit of life around us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320 Drained by society “I find myself being mentored by the land once again, as two great blue herons fly over me. Their wingbeats are slow, so slow they remind me that, all around, energy is being conserved. I too can bring my breath down to dwell in a deeper place where my blood-soul restores to my body what society has drained and dredged away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 62 Social injustice We are on fire, even in water, after tumbling and mumbling inside a society where wealth determines if we are heard, what options we have, what power we hold.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 161 Need for adaptability The Fremont oscillated with the lake levels. As Great Salt Lake rose, they retreated. As the lake retreated, they were drawn back. Theirs was not a fixed society like ours. They followed the expanding and receding shorelines. It was the ebb and flow of their lives In many ways, the Fremont had more options than we have. What do we do when faced with a rising Great Salt Lake? Pump it west. What did the Fremont do? Move. They accommodated change were, so often, we are immobilized by it. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 183 Need for diversity and creativity “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “History has shown us that exclusivity in the name of empire building eventually fails. Fear of discord undermines creativity. And creativity lies at the heart of adaptive evolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 “I don’t know if Brigham Young ever ventured to Gunnison Island or observed the finely tuned society of pelicans. But had his attention been focused more on Earth than ‘heaven on earth’ his vision for managing the Saints in the Great Basin might have been altered.” 106 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 107 Society’s oughts and shoulds “And then after having made enough pilgrimages to the slickrock to warrant sufficient separation from society’s oughts and shoulds, look again for the novice you were, who asked if the standstone bleeds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 CRITIQUE - THEMES 107 CULTURAL ECOLOGY Red The story “Lion’s Eyes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Lion’s Eyes,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 27-31 The story “Kokopelli’s Return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 43ff “My ancestors moved and settled as a result of spiritual beliefs. They gathered in the belief of an integrated life where nature, culture, religion, and civic responsibility were woven in the context of family and community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 “Native people understand language as an articulation of kinship, all manner of relations. To the Dine, hozho honors balance in the world, a kind of equilibriated grace, how human beings stand in relation to everything else. If a native tongue is lost, the perceived landscape is also lost Conversely, if the landscape is destroyed, the language that evolved alongside is also destroyed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 137 Refuge “What an African woman nurtures in the soil will eventually feed her family. Likewise, what she nurtures in her relations will ultimately nurture her community. It is a matter of living the circle. “Because we have forgotten our kinship with the land,” she continued, “our kinship with each other has become pale. We shy away from accountability and involvement. We choose to be occupied, which is quite different from being engaged. In America, time is money. In Kenya, time is relationship. We look at investments differently.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 137 The Fremont oscillated with the lake levels. As Great Salt Lake rose, they retreated. As the lake retreated, they were drawn back. Theirs was not a fixed society like ours. They followed the expanding and receding shorelines. It was the ebb and flow of their lives In many ways, the Fremont had more options than we have. What do we do when faced with a rising Great Salt Lake? Pump it west. What did the Fremont do? Move. They accommodated change were, so often, we are immobilized by it. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 183 David Madsen: “During the fifteen hundred years that the Fremont can be distinguished, they produced an archaeological record as rich, yet as enigmatic, as any in the world. The record of how they lived, reacted, and responded to the changing world around them is a mirror of ourselves—of all peoples at all times in all places.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 185 Mimi: “Many native cultures participate in scarification rituals. It’s a sign that denotes change. The person who is scarred has undergone some kind of transformation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 108 “You Americans, why is death always such a surprise to you? Don’t you understand the dance and the struggle are the same?” The voice of a Zimbabwean woman comes back to me. We had met in Kenya a few years back. I had walked out on a film on famine in Ethiopia. I could not bear the suffering. She followed me out, grabbed my arm, and brought me back in. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 245 Pieces of White Shell “Sometimes you have to disclaim your country and inhabit another before you can return to you own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 2 “This book is a journey into one culture, Navajo, and back out again to my own, Mormon. I am reminded by a Shoshone friend that I come to the Navajo as a migrating bird, lighting for only brief periods of time. This is true. But it is also true that the lessons I learn come from similar places. No one culture has dominion over birdsong. We all share the same sky.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 2 “We are neighbors.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 2 Mormon & Navajo. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 “But there are major differences, primarily in the stories we tell and the way in which we walk upon the earth. It is here that I am most aware of leaving my own culture and entering another. I take off my shoes and walk barefoot. There are risks, I know. My feet have been cut many times, but I am learning to pay attention.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 > symbol of engagement, or entering “Navajo stories have been my guides across the desert. I have trusted them because I could find no others. They are rooted in native soil. To these people they are sacred. Truth. To me, they are beacons in a nation suspicious of nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 “A story grows from the inside out and the inside of Navajoland is something I know little of. But I do know myself and if I begin traveling with an awareness of my own ignorance, trusting my instincts, I can look for my own stories embedded in the landscapes I travel through.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 > symbol of engagement, or entering “I am not suggesting we emulate Native Peoples—in this case, the Navajo. We can’t. We are not Navajo. Besides, their traditional stories don’t work for us. It’s like drinking another man’s medicine. Their stories hold meaning for us only as examples. They can teach us what is possible. We must create and find our own stories, our own myths, with 109 symbols that will bind us to the world as we see it today. In so doing, we will better know how to live our lives in the midst of change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 5 “I offer you a sampling of the Navajo voice, of my voice, and the voice of the land that moves us. We are told a story and then we tell our own. Each us harbors a homeland. The stories that are rooted there push themselves up like native grasses and crack the sidewalks.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 8 “When we tamper with the balance of things the scales rarely meet equilibrium again. This story is written over and over in our history, be it with Native Peoples, economics, or bears. We are grossly insensitive to the connectedness of life. Eric Hoffer makes the point: ‘Lack of sensitivity is basically an unawareness of ourselves.’ In terms of culture which is intrinsically linked with landscape, is it possible to meet another with empathetic eyes? Perhaps. If we can begin to focus beyond ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 113-114 “For this brief moment, the boundaries of time and space dissolve. Anasazi drums return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 126 “Silence. I don’t want there to be: Silence. I want to talk, listen, share, spend entire afternoons in womanly conversation about her life, mine. Somehow, I sense that a thousand years do not separate us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 127 “Landscape shapes culture. . . . Perhaps we can begin to find the origins of our cultural inheritance in the land – not to move backwards, but forward to understanding the profound interconnectedness of all living things. As Gregory Bateson says, ‘If the world be connected . . . then thinking in terms of stories must be shared by all mind or minds, whether ours or those of redwood forests and sea anemones.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 135 “We are not Navajo, however; we are not Inuit people or Sioux. We are contemporary citizens living in a technological world. Swimming in crosscultural waters can be dangerous, and if you are honest you can’t stay there very long. Sooner or later you have to look at your own reflection and decide what to do with yourself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 136 “For a brief moment, I entered sacred time. Perhaps this is the performance of an artifact.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 142 Interviews TL: One of your early books, Pieces of Whiteshell, is set in the Navajo nation. What did you learn from the Navajo? How did your experience with them influence your direction as a writer? TTW: One of the things I learned from the Dine when I taught on the Navajo Reservation was the power of stories inherent in the land. It made me wonder as Anglos, what stories we tell that evoke a sense of place, of landscape and community. Again, we have much to 110 learn from Indian people and the long-time Hispanic families who have inhabited these regions in the West for centuries about what it means to live in place. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 We are hungry for truth, for a life of greater intention. Perhaps that is why we travel to find that lost piece of ourselves that we believe will make us whole. It is easy to romanticize other cultures as having "the answers," a way of distancing ourselves from our own accountability. But sooner or later, we must return home and find our own integrity within the landscape of our own traditions. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 1 JW: Some would say that people like us -- people whose spirituality arises out of the earth -- have become pagan. Do you think that's true? TTW: I think so often our views of one another, of ourselves, shrink by the smallness of our vocabulary. What's a Christian? What's a pagan? Recently I was in Costa Rica, where I had the privilege of meeting a tribal medicine man. As we were walking in the rainforest he was sweeping the narrow trail of snakes with his feathered staff. He turned and he said, "I am a Christian, cosmologist, scientist, Earthist." And then he laughed. He said, "Does that cover it all?" And I thought, that's what I am, too! You know, whether it's Christian, whether it's pagan, whether it's an ecologist, whether it's a writer, a lover of language, a lover of landscapes, can't we just say that our spirituality resides in our love? If that makes us pagan, perhaps. If that makes us Christian, perhaps. But I love the notion that it's not this or that, but this, that, and all of it. And, in a way, this is how I see spirituality emerging on the planet. The constraints that we see within our religious traditions are not so satisfying. The world has become so large. I almost feel like the doors are blowing off our churches to let life come in and move freely. What we're seeing is that we're taking the best of what we're being offered. There's so much within my own tradition as a Mormon that I deeply cherish. The notion of community, the notion of service, the notion of land, prayer -- things that aren't exclusive to Mormonism, but that are certainly at the core of it. I can't separate my own sense of family from my sense of community from my Mormon roots. But, alongside, I think there's much to be gleaned from Buddhism, much to be gleaned from Catholicism, from that which the Quakers practice, from much that I have been exposed to and learned from my friends who are Indian people. And then there is so much to be gleaned from what we learn from the Earth itself -- from simply walking the land, from the deer, the river, the wind. And so, together, through our traditions, through that which we are exposed, we come to some semblance of a spiritual life, bits and pieces. In my own tradition, I hear my mother saying, "Call it a crazy quilt." --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 111 DANCE “Coyote’s yellow eyes burned like flames as he danced around the cow carcass with a femur in each hand. “ --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 18 “Stone Creek Woman begins to dance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 71 “If you are going into that place of intent to preserve the Arctic NWR or the wildlands of Utah, you have to know how to dance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mardy Murie,” Unspoken Hunger, 94 some quotes Emma Goldman: “If I can’t dance—I’m not coming to your revolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Patriot’s Journey,” Unspoken Hunger, 105 112 DARKNESS “I write because I believe it can create a path in darkness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 113 “I am a writer in search of metaphors, and what I hear is that just as there is light in the universe—starlight—there is also darkness, a dark matter that is denser and more mysterious than anything we have yet encountered. This discovery, this knowledge, does not scare me, it allows me to pursue and stand with my own dark matter and acknowledge its weight. I believe it is our only way out of despair toward a faith in the future.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” 120 What I know is this: when one hungers for light it is only because one's knowledge of the dark is so deep. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43a DARK 113 DEATH Red “’Good death,’ she said, as her hands sifted the wood dust of a decaying tree.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 52 Refuge “The umbilical cord is cut—not at our request. Separation is immediate. A mother reclaims her body, for her own life. Not ours. Minutes old, our first death is our own birth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 Suffering shows us what we are attached to—perhaps the umbilical cord between Mother and me has never been cut. Dying doesn’t cause suffering. Resistance to dying does.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 53 “I am slowly, painfully discovering that my refuge is not found in my mother, my grandmother, or even the birds of Bear River. My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 178 “Mother’s voice still speaks with her spirited and inquisitive nature. These things don’t change. Life in the face of death is merely compressed into grist.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 213 “Death is no longer what I imagined it to be. Death is earthy like birth, like sex, full of smells and sounds and bodily fluids. It is a confluence of evanescence and flesh.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 219 “she has not only given me a reverence for life, but a reverence for death.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 226 “I have to let go—she has taught me there is no one moment of death. It is a process.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 228 “From one until four in the afternoon, we sat near her. A meditation. Her breaths could now be heard as moans. Her eyes were haunting, open, and clear. Time was suspended like watching a fire. Gradually, Mother’s breaths became a mantra and the death mask we feared was removed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 229 “I felt as though I had been midwife to my mother’s birth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 231 “I stood at the side of my mother’s casket, enraged at our inability to let the dead be dead. And I wept over the hollowness of our rituals.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 235 114 “You Americans, why is death always such a surprise to you? Don’t you understand the dance and the struggle are the same?” The voice of a Zimbabwean woman comes back to me. We had met in Kenya a few years back. I had walked out on a film on famine in Ethiopia. I could not bear the suffering. She followed me out, grabbed my arm, and brought me back in. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 245 “Mother felt near. Death has become a familiar landscape. I can smell it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 261 “The past seven years are with me. Mother and Mimi are present. The relationships continue – something I did not anticipate.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 In Mexico on the Day of the Dead. Strange experiences. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 276-8 “The world is in motion. We are in motion. We have all lost loved ones. We have all danced with grief and we will one day dance with death. We embody the spiral, moving inward and outward with the loss of fear, a love transcendent, and the courage to create new maps.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “Ultimately, what I have discovered is that each death is individual. There are no rules. And I still have no sense of what death really is except to say, I believe it is a process, akin to birth, and that even now, after my mother and grandmothers are dead, the relationships continue.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 128 “all you really have is the day at hand. I guess I don’t really believe death exists in the conventional sense because when I was with my mother and grandmothers, it was like a moment of birth—transformation—life as a continuous state of being—movement— energy. What I have come to value and love most about the natural world is this same kind of regenerative spirit.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 130 “That’s the premise of Refuge—that an intimacy with the natural world initiates an intimacy with death, because life and death are engaged in an endless, inseparable dance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview “We turn our deaths over to someone else. In the process, our deaths have little privacy. We lose the spiritual instruction a good death can offer. No death is easy. We are rarely prepared. What I have learned through the deaths of the women of my family is that it’s not only possible to live well, it is possible to die well. They wanted to face death as part of life. There were no rules when my mother was dying, there was no precedent for us. So we, my family, just walked into that unknown territory with as much trust as possible, our mother our guide.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview 115 Dying mother: “The permeability of the body was present. I felt her spirit disengage from the soles of her feet and move upward to leave out of the top of her head. It was asa though she was climbing through her body on a ladder of light. The only analogue I had for that feeling was in making love when you’re moving toward orgasm. Again, you are walking up that ladder of light. It’s almost like being inside a piece of music, moving up the scale, the pitch gets higher and higher and more intense, more intense. My mother’s death was one of the sensual, sexual, erotic encounters I have ever had.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 311 116 DEMOCRACY Open Space of Democracy I have always believed democracy is best practiced through its construction, not its completion -- a never-ending project where the windows and doors remain open, a reminder to never close ourselves off to the sensory impulses of eyes and ears alert toward justice. Walls are torn down instead of erected in a counter-intuitive process where a monument is not built but a home, in a constant state of renovation. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20a I realized that in American Letters we celebrate both language and landscape, that these words, stories, and poems can create an ethical stance toward life: Melville's Great Whale; Whitman's Leaves of Grass; Thoreau's Walden Pond; Emerson's "Oversoul" -- the natural world infused with divinity. I came to understand through an education in the humanities that knowledge is another form of democracy, the freedom of expression that leads to empathy. It begins with our questions... --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21a I would submit that we can protect and preserve the open space of democracy by carrying a healthy sense of indignation within us that will shatter the complacency that has seeped into our society in the name of all we have lost -- knowing there is still so much to be saved. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 What does the open space of democracy look like? In the open space of democracy there is room for dissent. In the open space of democracy there is room for differences. In the open space of democracy, the health of the environment is seen as the wealth of our communities. We remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America's landscapes and it is precisely that character that will protect it. Cooperation is valued more than competition; prosperity becomes the caretaker of poverty. The humanities are not peripheral, but the very art of what it means to be human. In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. And technology is not rendered at the expense of life, but developed out of a reverence for life. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 The open space of democracy is a landscape that encourages diversity and discourages conformity. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Democracy can also be messy and chaotic. It requires patience and persistence. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 When minds close, democracy begins to close. Fear creeps in; silence overtakes speech. Rhetoric masquerades as thought. Dogma is dressed up like an idea. And we are told what to do, not asked what we think. Security is guaranteed. The lie begins to 117 carry more power than the truth until the words of our own founding fathers are forgotten and the images of television replace history. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 An open democracy inspires wisdom and the dignity of choice. A closed society inspires terror and the tyranny of belief. We are no longer citizens. We are mediaengineered clones wondering who we are and why we feel alone. Lethargy trumps participation. We fall prey to the cynicism of our own resignation. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 When democracy disappears, we are asked to accept the way things are. I beg you: Do not accept the way things are. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 This is the path of intellectual freedom and spiritual curiosity. Our insistence on democracy is based on our resistance to complacency. To be engaged. To participate. To create alternatives together. We may be wrong. We will make mistakes. But we can engage in spirited conversation, cherishing the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Democracy is built upon the right to be insecure. We are vulnerable. And we are vulnerable together. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 But I do believe we can come closer to understanding why each of us is committed to our own points of view and perhaps even adjust our perspectives along the way to find creative alternatives that we cannot only both live with, but feel comfortable in proposing together. These are the exchanges necessary to maintaining the open space of democracy... --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 24 I have always held the image of our founding fathers close to my heart, how they dared to disagree passionately with one another, yet remained open to what each had to say, some even changing their minds, as they forged our Constitution. This is the bedrock of our evolving republic… --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Democracy invites us to take risks. It asks that we vacate the comfortable seat of certitude, remain pliable, and act, ultimately, on behalf of the common good. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Democracy's only agenda is that we participate and that the majority voice be honored. It doesn't matter whether an answer is right or wrong, only that ideas be heard and discussed openly. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 How we choose to support a living democracy will determine whether it will survive as the beating heart of a republic or merely be preserved as a withered artifact of a cold and ruthless empire. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 118 Power may be a game of power and money to those who have it, but for those of us who don’t, politics is the public vehicle by which we exercise our voices within a democratic society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 To commit to the open space of democracy is to begin to make room for conversations that can move us toward a personal diplomacy. By personal diplomacy, I mean a fleshand-blood encounter with public process that is not an abstraction but grounded in real time and space with people we have to face in our own hometowns. It’s not altogether pleasant and there is no guarantee as to the outcome. Boos and cheers come in equal measure. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 41b What will we make of the life before us? How do we translate the gifts of solitary beauty into the action required for true participatory citizenship? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 42a The open space of democracy provides justice for all living things -- plants, animals, rocks, and rivers, as well as human beings. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a The power of nature is the power of a life in association. Nothing stands alone. On my haunches, I see a sunburst lichen attached to limestone; algae and fungi are working together to break down rock into soil. I cannot help but recognize a radical form of democracy at play. Each organism is rooted in its own biological niche, drawing its power from its relationship to other organisms. An equality of being contributes to an ecological state of health and succession. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a "We can only attain harmony and stability by consulting ensemble," writes Walt Whitman. This is my definition of community, and community interaction is the white-hot center of a democracy that burns bright. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a 119 What I wish I could ask Mardy now is, how do we engage in the open space of democracy in times of terror? I believe she would send me home. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 52a The Castle Rock Collaboration is an exercise in bedrock democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 53a In the open space of democracy, we are listening -- ears alert -- we are watching -- eyes open -- registering the patterns and possibilities for engagement. Some acts are private; some are public. Our oscillations between local, national, and global gestures map the full range of our movement. Our strength lies in our imagination, and paying attention to what sustains life, rather than what destroys it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a Lorenzo Becawtini, a businessman in Florence, joined us. "Antiglobalization is not a slogan," he said, "it is a rigorous reconfiguration of democracy that places power and creativity back into the hands of villagers and townspeople, providing them with as many choices as possible." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55b Here in the redrock desert, which now carries the weight of more leases for oil and gas than its fragile red skin can support, due to the aggressive energy policy of the Bush administration, the open space of democracy appears to be closing. The Rocky Mountain states are feeling this same press of energy extraction with scant thought being given to energy alternatives. A domestic imperialism has crept into our country with the same assured arrogance and ideology-of-might that seem evident in Iraq. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a {On Whitman and Lincoln} Both men were purveyors of a spiritual democracy borne out of love and loss. Both men articulated the wisdom of their hearts borne out of direct engagement. . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b Democracy depends on engagement, a firsthand accounting of what one sees, what one feels, and what one thinks, followed by the artful practice of expressing the truth of our times through our own talents, gifts, and vocations. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b 120 In the open space of democracy, we engage the qualities of inquiry, intuition, and love as we become a dynamic citizenry, unafraid to exercise our shared knowledge and power. We can dissent. We can vote. We can step forward in times of terror with a confounding calm that will shatter fear and complacency. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b We have made the mistake of confusing democracy with capitalism and have mistaken political engagement with a political machinery we all understand to be corrupt. It is time to resist the simplistic, utilitarian view that what is good for business is good for humanity in all its complex web of relationships. A spiritual democracy is inspired by our own sense of what we can accomplish together, honoring an integrated society where the social, intellectual, physical, and economic well-being of all is considered, not just the wealth and health of the corporate few. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government," said Edward Abbey. To not be engaged in the democratic process, to sit back and let others do the work for us, is to fall prey to bitterness and cynicism. It is the passivity of cynicism that has broken the back of our collective outrage. We succumb to our own depression believing there is nothing we can do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a If we cannot begin to embrace democracy as a way of life: the right to be educated, to think, discuss, dissent, create, and act, acting in imaginative and revolutionary ways . . . . if we fail to see the necessity of each of us to participate in the formation of an ethical life . . . if we cannot bring a sense of equity and respect into our homes, our marriages, our schools, and our churches, alongside our local, state, and federal governments, then democracy simply becomes, as Dewey suggests, “a form of idolatry,” as we descend into the basement of nationalism. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a Are we ready for the next evolutionary leap—to recognize the restoration of democracy as the restoration of liberty and justice for all species, not just our own? To be in the service of something beyond ourselves—to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together—this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59a ...It will take an enormous amount of time to really find out what habitation means in this country. We're just beginning to get a taste of it. And patience. We don't need to have all the answers right now. We may never have the answers, but as long as we keep driving the questions, or keep finding pockets of humility, maybe it won't seem so overwhelming or so difficult. Then maybe a rancher and an environmentalist can burn their labels and see each other as neighbors. The environmental movement right now is not listening. We are engaged in a rhetoric as strong and as aggressive as the so-called opposition. I would love to see the whole notion of opposition dissolved, so there's no longer this shadow dance between "us" and "them." I would love for us to listen to one another and try to say, "What do we want as members of this community? How do we dream our future? How do we begin to define home?" Then we would have something to build from, rather than 121 constantly turning one another into abstractions and stereotypes engaged in military combativeness. I believe we all desire similar things. The real poison of our society right now is that everything is reduced to such a simplistic level. There is no tolerance or hunger for complexity or ambiguity. Do you want this or that? Black or white? Yes or no? It strips us to our lowest common denominator, creating a physics that is irreconcilable just by the nature of the polarity. As a result, we miss the richness we can bring to one another in our diverse points of view. It is not about agreement. It is about respect. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen Interview, Listening to the Land Indy: What's the current status of the Redrock Wilderness Act? TTW: The Redrock Wilderness Bill currently before Congress, in some ways has never had more support. But it also has never had such strong opposition. The Bush and Cheney agenda is an energy agenda, and they'll take the wild lands for that purpose unless we are a vigilant, responsible citizenry. All I'm asking for is a healthy, conscious discussion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: How do we reconcile the need to conserve wilderness when government is clamoring to divide and conquer the land? TTW: We need to view conservation as an act of democracy. As locals tied to the exploitive susceptibility of the land we live on, we wind up thanking our federal government for saving us from ourselves when they act to preserve wilderness. I know this sounds like a completely idealistic statement, but I believe that a nation's appetite for beauty transcends a state's hunger for greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 5 Open Space of Democracy Tour Democracy is an insecure landscape and today it feels more so. . . . I was looking forward to addressing the students in the spirit of conversation and discussion what engagement within a vibrant democracy means. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” opening sentence in a letter to President Merwin If our institutions of higher learning can no longer be counted on as champions and respectors of freedom of speech, then I fear no voice is safe from being silenced in this country. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin I believe that to deny the students their own Convocation at this point in time . . . is not only a breach of contract, but more tragically, a breach of democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin “What I was asking myself [in Open Space of Democracy”] was a deeper consideration of my own engagement in the democratic process, “. . . how might we face the polarity of opinion in our country right now, how we might take opposing views and blend them into some kind of civil dialogue.” Each of us has the opportunity to engage in reflective questioning if we choose to move forward as a responsive citizen. 122 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin We have missed a rich opportunity for compassionate understanding and empathy. Censorship betrays the students' intelligence, individual power of discernment, and their own passionate exploration of ideas as they prepare to vote. I believe your action has stopped the dialogue around Convocation at a time when we need it most. Consequently, the student body of Florida Gulf Coast University is being robbed of the experience of emancipatory education, the gift of being able to participate in critical thinking, meaningful dialogue and debate, the very process inherent in an open society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin Democracy's only agenda is that we participate. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin [concerning Stewart Udall, Secretary of the Interior in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, spoke on September 19, 2004, celebrating 40th Anniversary of the 1964 Wilderness Act] We like to think -- and politicians too often think -- that all leadership comes from the top down. But the leadership and the passing of laws like civil rights (and the Wilderness Act) came from the streets. It came from the people. He said that what people of his generation knew within public service was that you had to mindful of three things: 1) the capacity to grow; 2) the ability to change; and 3) the importance of facing your adversary with mutual respect. I realized in that moment how we have all been diminished by the nastiness of the debates within public policy and politics, in general. We have lost our civility and respect. Do we have the capacity to grow and heaven forbid, change? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Golden Colorado It feels like we have been characters in a strange, and at times harrowing, shadow play of democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, DEMOCRACY 123 DESERT Red the “searing simplicity of form. You cannot help but be undone by its sensibility and light, nothing extra. Before the stillness of sandstone cliffs, you stand still, equally bare.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “I never forget I inhabit the desert, the harsh, brutal beauty of skin and bones.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 5 Desert as teacher. Desert as mirage. Desert as illusion, largely our own. What you come to see on the surface is not what you come to know. Emptiness in the desert is the fullness of space, a fullness of space that eliminates time. The desert is time, exposed time, geologic time. One needs time in the desert to see. --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 5-6 “reminding us through its blood red grandeur just how essential wild country is to our psychology, how precious the desert is to the soul of America.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks. There is a resonance of humility that has evolved with the earth. It is best retrieved in solitude amidst the stillness of days in the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 Coyote “knows that sunburned flesh is better than a tanned hide, that days spent in the desert are days soaking up strength. . . . Coyote knows that it is the days spent in wildness that counts in urbane savvy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25 “It’s strange how deserts turn us into believers. I believe in walking in a landscape of mirages because you learn humility. I believe in living in a land of little water because life is drawn together. And I believe in the gathering of bones as a testament to spirits that have moved on.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 ++ See Refuge 148 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 ++ See Refuge 148 124 “I have inherited a belief in community, the promise that a gathering of the spirit can both create and change culture. In the desert, change is nurtured even in stone by wind, by water, through time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 “The redrock desert of southern Utah teaches me over and over again: red endures. Let it not be my rage or anger that endures, but a passion for the bloodroot country of my burning soul that survives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 138 “The flicker flies. A fire burns. Loves is as varied as the spectrum red. Break my heart with the desert’s silence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 Refuge There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 Her inner retreat of the past few months has momentarily been replaced by openness. “It’s all inside,” she said. “I just needed to get away, to be reminded by the desert of who I am and who I am not. The exposed geologic layers in the redrock mirror the depths within myself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 “It’s strange how deserts turn us into believers. I believe in walking in a landscape of mirages, because you learn humility. I believe in living in a land of little water because life is drawn together. And I believe in the gathering of bones as testament of spirits that have moved on.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 ++ See Red 77 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide, and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 ++ See Red 77 “In the severity of a salt desert, I am brought down to my knees by its beauty. My imagination is fired. My heart opens and my skin burns in the passion of these moments. I will have not other gods before me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 125 “I have never been aware of the creek’s path until now. It feels good to be someplace lush. The salt desert is too stark for me now because my interior is bare.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 158 “There is a holy place in the salt desert, where egrets hover like angels. It is a cave near the lake where water bubbles up from inside the earth. I am hidden and saved from the outside world. Leaning against the back wall of the cave, the curve of the rock supports the curve of my spine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 Once out at the lake, I am free. Native. Wind and waves are like African drums driving the rhythm home. I am spun, supported, and possessed by the spirit who dwells here. Great Salt Lake is a spiritual magnet that will not let me go. Dogma doesn’t hold me. Wildness does. A spiral of emotion. It is ecstasy without adrenaline. My hair is tossed, curls are blown across my face and eyes, much like the whitecaps cresting over the waves. Wind and waves. Wind and waves. The smell of brine is burning my lungs. I can taste it on my lips. I want more brine, more salt. Wet hands. I lick my fingers, until I am sucking them dry. I close my eyes. The smell and taste combined reminds me of making love in the Basin; flesh slippery with sweat in the heat of the desert. Wind and waves. A sigh and a surge. I pull away from the lake, pause, and rest easily in the sanctuary of sage. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 240 A woman from the Department of Energy, who had mapped the proposed nuclearwaste repository in Lavender Canyon . . . flew into Moab, Utah, from Washington, D.C., to check her calculations and witness this ‘blank spot.’ She was greeted by a local, who drove her directly to the site. Once there, she got out of the vehicle, stared into the vast, redrock wilderness and shook her head slowly, delivering four words: “I had no idea.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 242 Her fall and scar. “I have been marked by the desert. The scar meanders down the center of my forehead like a red, clay river. A natural feature on a map. I see the land and myself in context.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 243-244 “The unknown Utah that some see as a home for used razor blades, toxins, and biological warfare, is a landscape of the imagination, a secret we tell to those who will keep it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 Mimi talking about Nancy Holt. “She camped at a site for tend days and, at that time, wondered if she could stay in the desert that long. After a few days, she located a particular sound within the land and began to chant. This song became her connection to the Great Salt Lake desert. She told me she fluctuated from feeling very small to feeling very expansive. I remember her words, ‘I became like the ebb and flow of light inside the tunnels.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 268-269 126 “The women danced and drummed and sang for weeks, preparing themselves for what was to come. They would reclaim the desert for the sake of their children, for the sake of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 The women invade the town, despite being pregnant. They were arrested. When asked why they came and who they were, they replied, “We are mothers and we have come to reclaim the desert for our children.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 Unspoken Hunger … “Who were these artists, these scribes? When were they here? And what did they witness? Time has so little meaning in the center of the desert. The land holds a collective memory in the stillness of open spaces. Perhaps our only obligation is to listen and remember.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 124 127 DETERMINATION … My eyes catch the illumined wings of a tern, an Arctic tern, fluttering, foraging above the river -- the embodiment of grace, suspended. The tern animates the vast indifference with its own vibrant intelligence. Black cap; blood-red beak pointed down; white body with black-tipped wings. With my eyes laid bare, I witness a bright thought in big country. While everyone is sleeping, the presence of this tern hovering above the river, alive, alert, engaged, becomes a vision of what is possible. On this night, I met the Arctic Angel and vowed the 22,000 miles of her migratory path between the Arctic and Antarctica would not be in vain. I will remember her. No creature on Earth has spent more time in daylight than this species. No creature on Earth has shunned darkness in the same way as the Arctic tern. No creature carries the strength and delicacy of determination on its back like this slight bird. If air is the medium of the Spirit, then the Arctic tern is its messenger. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b DETERMINATION 128 DIALOGUE, DISCUSSION, FREE SPEECH “There is no defense against an open heart and a supple body in dialogue with wildness. Internal strength is an absorption of the external landscape. We are informed by beauty, raw and sensual. Through an erotics of place our sensitivity becomes our sensibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 TL: I recall hearing you read from a manuscript version of Desert Quartet: An Erotic Landscape at a conference in Salt Lake City a few years back. At the time, you seemed nervous about writing frankly about the erotics of landscape. It seems a risky thing to write about. Has the reaction to the book justified your nervousness, or has it been favorably received? Why did you choose to write about this topic? TTW: You ask about Desert Quartet and why I wrote that book. I think every writer struggles with various questions and tries to make peace with those questions, those longings through their art, their craft. I am interested in the notion of love and why we are so fearful of intimacy, with each other and with the land. I wanted to explore the idea of the erotic, not as it is defined by my culture as pornographic and exploitive, but rather what it might mean to engage in a relationship of reciprocity. I wanted to try and write out of the body, not out of the head. I wanted to create a circular text, not a linear one. I wanted to play with the elemental movements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air, and bow to the desert, a landscape I love. I wanted to see if I could create on the page a dialogue with the heartopen wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 I wrote a letter home in the form of an op-ed piece for the Salt Lake Tribune. I wanted my community to know about this calm manifestation of willful resolve demonstrating a simple fact: Even if our political leaders cannot read the pulse of a changing world, the people do. The European Social Forum had just held its meetings in Florence, where issues ranging from health and the environment to international trade to the possibility of a war in Iraq were discussed. It ended with this gesture of movement, much of it along the banks of the Arno River, creating a river of another sort, a river of humans engaged in a diverse dialogue of peace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55b “What I was asking myself [in Open Space of Democracy”] was a deeper consideration of my own engagement in the democratic process, “. . . how might we face the polarity of opinion in our country right now, how we might take opposing views and blend them into some kind of civil dialogue.” Each of us has the opportunity to engage in reflective questioning if we choose to move forward as a responsive citizen. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin If we cannot engage in respectful listening there can be no civil dialogue and without civil dialogue we the people will simply become bullies and brutes, deaf to the truth that we are standing on the edge of a political chasm that is beginning to crumble. We all stand to lose ground. Democracy is an insecure landscape. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 129 The Open Space of Democracy is a call for conscious dialogue in times of divisive political rhetoric that has no heart.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin We have missed a rich opportunity for compassionate understanding and empathy. Censorship betrays the students' intelligence, individual power of discernment, and their own passionate exploration of ideas as they prepare to vote. I believe your action has stopped the dialogue around Convocation at a time when we need it most. Consequently, the student body of Florida Gulf Coast University is being robbed of the experience of emancipatory education, the gift of being able to participate in critical thinking, meaningful dialogue and debate, the very process inherent in an open society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin The dialogue [with the students] that followed was heartening. Never have I seen or felt such engagement in this country. Citizens are informed, active. Of course, there are those who are not. But that has always been the case. 62 million Americans watched the first presidential debate on September 30. There is so much at stake. We are at war in Iraq. We are fighting for public process on public lands. I am not one to use these kinds of words, but it is true. These are contentious times, confusing times, all the more reason and need for deep listening and the creation of open dialogue. . . . This is not about answers, but inquiry, honest, soulful discussion. I remember my grandmother Mimi Saying that first you must identify the question and then it begins to solve itself through your awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Golden Colorado We [Terry Tempest Williams and the students] talked about the ironies of this situation, how at the core of this little book is an inquiry and call for open dialogue and respectful listening, to create conversation and bypass the political rhetoric that has diminished all of us. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 7 October 2004 We have missed a rich opportunity for compassionate understanding and empathy. Censorship betrays the students' intelligence, individual power of discernment, and their own passionate exploration of ideas as they prepare to vote. I believe your action has stopped the dialogue around Convocation at a time when we need it most. Consequently, the student body of Florida Gulf Coast University is being robbed of the experience of emancipatory education, the gift of being able to participate in critical thinking, meaningful dialogue and debate, the very process inherent in an open society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin We [Terry Tempest Williams and the students] talked about the ironies of this situation, how at the core of this little book is an inquiry and call for open dialogue and respectful listening, to create conversation and bypass the political rhetoric that has diminished all of us. 130 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 7 October 2004 What is the disease we are facing in this nation of ours? The disease of fear. Fear creates an atmosphere where craven acts occur, even in our institutions of higher education. When we can no longer count on our colleges and universities to champion and protect free speech, no voice in America is safe. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” letter to Brandon Hollingshead The dialogue [with the students] that followed was heartening. Never have I seen or felt such engagement in this country. Citizens are informed, active. Of course, there are those who are not. But that has always been the case. 62 million Americans watched the first presidential debate on September 30. There is so much at stake. We are at war in Iraq. We are fighting for public process on public lands. I am not one to use these kinds of words, but it is true. These are contentious times, confusing times, all the more reason and need for deep listening and the creation of open dialogue. . . . This is not about answers, but inquiry, honest, soulful discussion. I remember my grandmother Mimi Saying that first you must identify the question and then it begins to solve itself through your awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Golden Colorado We want our students to be exposed to competing voices so that they can make up their own minds. But if we insist on politically balanced perspectives, we'll never encounter anything that is truly provocative. In a sense, we agree with Dr. Merwin. We want balance, too. But that balance must come from hearing different voices, not from watering down differences so that we are left with a political discourse that is guaranteed not to offend anyone. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, One of the most insidious forms of oppression is self-censorship, created by the "oughts and shoulds" of the collective. Fear. Fear permeating all aspects of our culture. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, Thich Nhat Hanh: In Congress, in city halls, in statehouses, and schools, we need people capable of practicing deep listening and loving speech. Unfortunately, many of us have lost this capacity. To have peace, we must first have understanding, and understanding is not possible without gentle, loving communication. Therefore, restoring communication is an essential practice for peace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 28-29 October 2004, DIALOGUE, DISCUSSION, FREE SPEECH 131 DIVERSITY, DIFFERENCES What does the open space of democracy look like? In the open space of democracy there is room for dissent. In the open space of democracy there is room for differences. In the open space of democracy, the health of the environment is seen as the wealth of our communities. We remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America's landscapes and it is precisely that character that will protect it. Cooperation is valued more than competition; prosperity becomes the caretaker of poverty. The humanities are not peripheral, but the very art of what it means to be human. In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. And technology is not rendered at the expense of life, but developed out of a reverence for life. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 DIVERSITY, DIFFERENCES 132 DISAPPEAR, DISSOVLE Refuge There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 133 DISSENT What does the open space of democracy look like? In the open space of democracy there is room for dissent. In the open space of democracy there is room for differences. In the open space of democracy, the health of the environment is seen as the wealth of our communities. We remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America's landscapes and it is precisely that character that will protect it. Cooperation is valued more than competition; prosperity becomes the caretaker of poverty. The humanities are not peripheral, but the very art of what it means to be human. In the open space of democracy, beauty is not optional, but essential to our survival as a species. And technology is not rendered at the expense of life, but developed out of a reverence for life. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 DISSENT 134 DREAM Refuge Long and complex dream in “Clan of the One-Breasted Women.” Last night I dreamed I was walking along the shores of Great Salt Lake. I noticed a purple bird floating in the waters, the waves rocking it gently. I entered the lake and, with cupped hands, picked up the bird and returned it to shore. The purple bird turned gold, dropped its tail, and began digging a burrow in the white sand, where it retreated and sealed itself inside with salt. I walked away. It was dusk. The next day, I returned to the lake shore. A wooden door frame, freestanding, became an arch I had to walk through. Suddenly, it was transformed into Athene’s Temple. The bird was gone. I was left standing with my own memory. In the next segment of the dream I was in a doctor’s office. He said, “You have cancer in your blood and you have nine months to heal yourself.’ I awoke puzzled and frightened. Perhaps, I am telling this story in an attempt to heal myself, to confront what I do not know, to create a path for myself with the idea that “memory is the only way home.” I have been in retreat. This story is my return. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 > dated July 4, 1990 “I dreamed of water and cattails and all that is hidden.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 20 The pulse of the Great Salt Lake, surging along Antelope Island’s shores, becomes the force wearing against my mother’s body And when I watch flocks of phalaropes wing their way toward quiet bays on the island, I recall watching Mother sleep, imagining the dreams that were encircling her, wondering what she knows that I must learn for myself. The light changes, Antelope Island is blue. Mother awakened and I looked away. Antelope Island is no longer accessible to me. It is my mother’s body floating in uncertainty. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 64 “Alongside the biological facts, could migration be an ancestral memory, an archetype that dreams birds thousands of miles to their homeland? A highly refined intelligence that emerges as intuition, the only true guide in life? Could it be that a family of Canada geese journey south not out of a genetic predisposition, but out of a desire for a shared vision of a species? They travel in flocks as they position themselves in an inverted V formation, the white feathers that separate their black rumps from their tails appear as a crescent moon, reminding them once again that they are participating in another cycle.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 193 “It was a dreamscape where the will of the land overtakes you. I felt as though we were standing under the wing of a great blue heron.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 201 135 “Mimi and I shared a clandestine vision of things. I could afford to dream because she could interpret the story. We spoke through the shorthand of symbols: an egg, an owl. And most of what we shared was secret, much like the migration of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 273 “Auden echoes from the open grave, “Our dreams of safety must disappear.” “Mimi and I shared a clandestine vision of things. I could afford to dream because she could interpret the story. We spoke through the shorthand of symbols: an egg, an owl. And most of what we shared was secret, much like the migration of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 273 Unspoken Hunger “As we advance closer and closer, the anticipation of seeing rhinoceros is like crossing the threshold of a dream.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 11 In “Undressing the Bear” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 52 “Night in the Cabeza restores silence to the desert, that holy, intuitive silence. . . . . I wonder how it is that in the midst of wild serenity we as a species choose to shatter it again and again. Silence is our national security, our civil defense. By destroying silence, the legacy of our deserts, we leave no room for peace, the deep peace that elevates and stirs our souls. It is silence that rocks and awakens us to the truth of our dreams.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 124 136 ECOFEMINISM see Female Oppression of both women and nature “We spoke of rage. Of women and landscape. How our bodies and the body of the earth have been mined.” (Refuge, 10) Terry Tempest Williams to Mimi: “The hollow eggs translated into hollow wombs. The Earth is not well and neither are we. I saw the health of the planet as our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 262-263 PATRIARCHY IN MORMONISM & CULTURE IN GENERAL London: How central is your Mormon faith to your identity as a writer -- has it had a big influence on your work and ideas? Williams: It's hard to answer because, again, I don't think we can separate our upbringing from what we are. I am a Mormon woman, I am not orthodox. It is the lens through which I see the world. I hear the Tabernacle Choir and it still makes me weep. There are other things within the culture that absolutely enrage me, and for me it is sacred rage. But it's not just peculiar to Mormonism -- it's any patriarchy that I think stops, thwarts, or denies our creativity. So the question that I'm constantly asking myself is, What are we afraid of? I think it's important for us to follow that line of fear, because that is ultimately our line of growth. I feel that within the Mormon culture there is a tremendous amount of fear -- of women's voices, of questioning of authority, and ultimately of our own creativity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 SOCIETY-MADE VALUES & BURDENING RESPONSIBILITY & CALL FOR OBEDIENCE Burdening constraint and limitation of “society’s oughts and shoulds” (Unspoken Hunger, 57; Red, 23; Wortman interview, 6) as well as the “heaviness of guilt” imposed by institutionalized religion. (Wortman Interview, 6) 137 This is the healing that Williams imagined for her mother in “The Bowl.” (Red) She had seen in her mother's face “the pallor that comes when everything is going out and nothing is coming in,” the position she was placed in too often as a wife and mother. In the story, the woman returns to the small desert canyon where in her childhood “she last remembered her true nature.” Alone in this beautiful place, she sheds her clothing, her inhibitions, and her overburdening sense of responsibility toward her family. --Lorraine Anderson, “Terry Tempest Williams,” American Nature Writers Patriarchy demands obedience of women – and men as well, as she related her shared concern about nuclear weapons with people in Hiroshima: “I shared how the price of obedience became too high as I watched the women in my family die common heroic deaths. . . . Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives.” (“Hiroshima Journey,” 3) Masculine lack of intimacy “’Many men have forgotten what they are connected to,’ My friend added. “Subjugation of women and nature may be a loss of intimacy within themselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 10 EARTH AS FEMININE? ESSENTIALIST? “What is it about a relationship of a mother that can heal or hurt us? Her womb is the first landscape we inhabit. It is here we learn to respond—to move, to listen, to be nourished and grow. . . . Our maternal environment is perfectly safe—dark, warm, and wet. It is a residency inside the Feminine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 I want to see the lake as Woman, as myself, in her refusal to be tamed. The State of Utah may try to dike her, divert her waters, build roads across her shores, but ultimately, it won’t matter. She will survive us. I recognize her as a wilderness, raw and self-defined. Great Salt Lake strips me of contrivances and conditioning, saying, “I am not what you see. Question me. Stand by your own impressions.” We are taught not to trust our own experiences. Great Salt Lake teaches me experience is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 92 There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 “But after midnight, silence. The depth and stillness of Great Salt Lake comes over the wetlands like a mother’s calming hand. Morning approaches slowly, until each voice in the marsh awakens.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 138 “I laid my head on her lap and closed my eyes. I could not tell if it was my mother’s fingers combing through my hair or the wind.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 156 “One night, a full moon watched over me like a mother.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 189 “Mothers. Daughters. Granddaughters. The myth of Demeter and Persephone lives through us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 261 “A contract had been made and broken between human beings and the land. A new contract was being drawn by the women, who understood the fate of the earth as their own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 “One night, I dreamed women from all over the world circled a blazing fire in the desert. They spoke of change, how they hold the moon in their bellies and wax and wane with its phases. They mocked the presumption of even-tempered beings and made promises that they would never fear the witch inside themselves. The women danced wildly as sparks broke away from the flames and entered the night sky as stars.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 is this essentialist, or is it an undercutting of the notion of Feminine: a complex, multivalent, variant “Feminine.” not necessarily essentialist: by connecting with earth they gain power. Doesn’t imply only women are connected? “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 earth & female as procreators “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. 139 By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 as a woman “At that point, I understood what I was really acknowledging—it wasn’t the scientific mind or the poetic mind, but the feminine mind that I wanted to embrace. That was the language that I wanted to liberate. I had a visual map I could now trust.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 9 She wrote Refuge “to remember my mother and grandmothers and what it was that we shared, and as a way of recalling how women conduct their lives in the midst of family, in the midst of illness, in the midst of death—in the midst of day-to-day living. I wrote Refuge to celebrate the correspondence between the landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, to explore the idea of how one finds refuge in change. And it is Refuge that gave me my voice as a woman.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122 “The language that women speak when no one is there to correct hem is the language of the heart, a kind to the land. Women’s language is like connective tissue, detailed and circuitous; it goes in and out. When two women speak, they can keep five strands of conversation going at once. . . . the language of women knows no time. A women’s language is about meanderings, like a river. . . . It is a language without selfconsciousness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 123 “So I am interested, as a writer, in finding what the mother tongue is. I believe it has to do with structure, form, and style. I think it has to do with identifying relationships that break through the veneer of what is proper, what is expected. The language that women speak when nobody is there to correct them oftentimes can make people uncomfortable because it threatens to undermine the status quo. It’s what we know in our hearts that we don’t dare speak, . . . the sense of women and secrets.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 123 FEMINIST THEOLOGY We are far too conciliatory. If we as Mormon women believe in God the Father and in his son, Jesus Christ, it is only logical that a Mother-in-Heaven balances the sacred triangle. I believe the Holy Ghost is female, although she has remained hidden, invisible, deprived of a body, she is the spirit that seeps into our hearts and directs us to the well. The ‘still, small voice’ I was taught to listen to as a child was ‘the gift of the Holy Ghost.’ Today I choose to recognize this presence as holy intuition, the gift of the Mother. My prayers no longer bear the ‘proper’ masculine salutation. I include both Father and Mother in Heaven. If we could introduce the Motherbody as a spiritual counterpoint to the Godhead, perhaps our inspiration and devotion would no longer be directed to the stars, but our worship could return to the Earth. My physical mother is gone. My spiritual mother remains. I am a woman rewriting my genealogy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 241 140 integrated O’Keefe: “she was a woman painter among men. Although she resisted the call of gender separation and in many ways embodied an androgynous soul, she was not without political savvy and humor on the subject. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 20 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 FEMALE: FREEDOM, WILD, SELF-DEFINED, POWERFUL “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 I want to see the lake as Woman, as myself, in her refusal to be tamed. The State of Utah may try to dike her, divert her waters, build roads across her shores, but ultimately, it won’t matter. She will survive us. I recognize her as a wilderness, raw and self-defined. Great Salt Lake strips me of contrivances and conditioning, saying, “I am not what you see. Question me. Stand by your own impressions.” We are taught not to trust our own experiences. Great Salt Lake teaches me experience is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 92 “Perhaps the fear of bears and the fear of women lies in our refusal to be tamed, the impulses we arouse and the forces we represent.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and 141 fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 her motherhood deconstructing positionality TL: Ann Zwinger has said she doesn't go out into nature as a woman. Yet your gender seems to be a very important part of your work. Why? TTW: Each of us writes out of our own biases. I am a Mormon woman who grew up in the Great Basin and now lives in the Colorado Plateau. These are the lens of culture, gender, and geography that I see out of. Of course, we are all human beings, but it seems to me there is an honesty to state where it is we come from and how our perceptions have been shaped. The fun part, the difficult part, is then to shatter them and see the world from different points of view. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 includes notion of Feminine. Complex & shifting (Ross-Bryant? Armbruster) NEED TO BE SELFISH, WITHDRAWAL Her mother: “By being selfish a woman ultimately has more to give in the long run, because she has a self to give away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 51 agency “Today, I feel stronger, learning to live within the natural cycles of a day and to not expect so much from myself. As women, we hold the moon in our bellies. It is too much to ask to operate on full-moon energy three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I am in a crescent phase. And the energy we expend emotionally belongs to the hidden side of the moon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 agency THE IMPORTANCE OF FEELING "I am testifying as an emotional woman," I can still remember her saying, "and I would like to ask you, gentlemen, what's wrong with emotion?" --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a IMPORTANCE OF THE BODY… SUBVERSIVE ACTION In Mormon religion, formal blessings of healing are given by men through the Priesthood of God. Women have no outward authority. But within the secrecy of sisterhood we have always bestowed benisons upon our families. Mother sits up. I lay my hands upon her head and in the privacy of women, we pray. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 158 agency 142 “One night, I dreamed women from all over the world circled a blazing fire in the desert. They spoke of change, how they hold the moon in their bellies and wax and wane with its phases. They mocked the presumption of even-tempered beings and made promises that they would never fear the witch inside themselves. The women danced wildly as sparks broke away from the flames and entered the night sky as stars.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “The women danced and drummed and sang for weeks, preparing themselves for what was to come. They would reclaim the desert for the sake of their children, for the sake of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “A contract had been made and broken between human beings and the land. A new contract was being drawn by the women, who understood the fate of the earth as their own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 The women invade the town, despite being pregnant. They were arrested. When asked why they came and who they were, they replied, “We are mothers and we have come to reclaim the desert for our children.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 I crossed the line at the Nevada Test Site and was arrested with nine other Utahns for trespassing on military lands. They are still conducting nuclear tests in the desert. Ours was an act of civil disobedience. But as I walked toward the town of Mercury, it was more than a gesture of peace. It was a gesture on behalf of the Clan of One-Breasted Women. As one officer cinched the handcuffs around my wrists, another frisked my body. She found a pen and a pad of paper tucked inside my left boot. “And these?” she asked sternly. “Weapons,” I replied. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 “The officials thought it was a cruel joke to leave us stranded in the desert with no way to get home. What they didn’t realize was that we were home, soul-centered and strong, women who recognized the sweet smell of sage as fuel for our spirits.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 290 ECOFEMINISM 143 ECOPSYCHOLOGY Red “reminding us through its blood red grandeur just how essential wild country is to our psychology, how precious the desert is to the soul of America.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “Native people understand language as an articulation of kinship, all manner of relations. To the Dine, hozho honors balance in the world, a kind of equilibriated grace, how human beings stand in relation to everything else. If a native tongue is lost, the perceived landscape is also lost Conversely, if the landscape is destroyed, the language that evolved alongside is also destroyed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 137 “Boredom could catch up with me. But it never does, only the music, river music, the continual improvisation of water. Perhaps the difference between repetition and boredom lies in our willingness to believe in surprise, the subtle shifts of form that loom large in a trained and patient eye.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 “Part of me wanted to leap, not out of despair, but joy. It is a difficult impulse to explain, but I believe it has something to do with feeling very, very small and very, very large, at once.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 186 Refuge “We have lost track of time in a birdwatchers’ trance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 49 I love to watch gulls soar over the Great Basin. It is another trick of the lake to lure gulls inland. On days such as this, when my would has been wrenched, the simplicity of flight and form above the lake untangles my grief. “Glide” the gulls write in the sky—and, for a few brief moments, I do. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 75 “How do we emphasize with the Earth when so much is ravaging her?’ --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 85 “Relief comes only through concentration, losing ourselves in the studied behavior of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “I turn. All at once, a thousand avocets take flight. More. Tens of thousands. The soft whistling of wings fills both time and space. I can no longer see the sky—above me, before me and behind me, avocets and stilts flock.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 “The time had come to protest with the heart, that to deny one’s genealogy with the earth was to commit treason against one’s soul.” 144 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 Unspoken Hunger “For a naturalist, traveling into unfamiliar territory is like turning a kaleidoscope ninety degrees. Suddenly, the colors and pieces of glass find a fresh arrangement. The light shifts, and you enter a new landscape in search of the order you know to be there. --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 3 “Anticipation is another gift for travelers in unfamiliar territory. It quickens the spirit. The contemplation of the unseen world; imagination piqued in consideration of animals.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 6 “A primal memory is struck like a match.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 8 “Each of us harbors a homeland, a landscape we naturally comprehend. By understanding the dependability of place, we can anchor ourselves as trees.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 12 She falls and hurts her head. “I had opened my third eye. Unknowingly, this is what I had come for. It had been only a few months since the death of my mother. I had been unable to cry. On this day, I did.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 54 “But what kind of impoverishment is this to withhold emotion, to restrain our passionate nature in the face of a generous life just to appease our fears? A man or woman whose mind reins in the heart when the body sings desperately for connection can only expect more isolation and greater ecological disease. Our lack of intimacy with each other is in direct proportion to our lack of intimacy with the land. We have taken our love inside and abandoned the wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “Audre Lorde tells us, ‘We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves . . . our deepest cravings. And the fear of our deepest cravings keeps them suspect, keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, and leads us to settle for or accept many aspects of our own oppression.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 Peter Matthiessen said “the American psyche that wants war is the same psyche that doesn’t want wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Patriot’s Journal,” Unspoken Hunger, 108 “The view will orient us and perhaps even inspire us to think like a ram.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 119 Others I turn to my own small perspective, a perspective that focuses on the place where I live and love, to the harvest moon casting blue light over the desert, where color still registers on the red cliff face of sandstone. I can’t sleep. On my back on our porch, I watch the moon 145 with my binoculars for hours, and think about the miracle of life, simply that. Earth is our charismatic leader, the moon, the mountain lion who slips into the layers of sandstone like a passing shadow. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” Interviews Indy: Why the need for wilderness? TTW: Wild country is so essential to our psychology. The context of our lives has shifted. We're feeling things, seeing things differently. My first impulse when I got home from Washington, when I saw the Wasatch mountains, I just burst into tears. My husband and I got into the car and drove up to the Tetons. We went on this trail that we've hiked for 20 years. The sound of sirens that were screaming in my psyche were replaced by bugling elk. It was so powerful to understand what sustains us in time of terror and times of calm as well. Wild lands remind us what it means to be human, what it means to be connected to something larger than ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: In the book you say: "When one us says [regarding wilderness], 'Look, there's nothing out there,' what we are really saying is, 'I cannot see.'" How do you teach people to see, especially a generation of children raised blind to wilderness? TTW: It requires exposure. And slowing down. There's a chapter in Red, "Ode to Slowness," that talks about the pace of our lives. Our lives are so insane, in terms of the pace with which we carry on, we can't see, taste, hear or smell beyond our own mania. Education is critical. I'm heartened by our children. I look at my nieces, and they're more environmentally savvy than I was at the same age. It's important for kids to get outside. We need to be asking the question: Can we read the landscape alongside the pages of a book? I've been working on a school project in Moab where 6th graders have been keeping journals of weather studies. They've learned the names of 25 species of plants, animals and birds. By writing this specific information down, I've noticed their writing in general becomes more specific. Their lives, it seems, have taken on an added richness simply by learning the names of things. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 4 Indy: How do we get schools to respond to this critical need? TTW: Up until this point, we have viewed environmental issues and education about ecological awareness as a luxury. It's necessary that we begin to see conservation as an integral part of our communities, our society. My hope is that we can begin to weave conservation into the conversation about who we are in the world. "Shall we now exterminate this thing that made us Americans?" Aldo Leopold asked in the 1920s, on the verge of the Great Depression, the dust bowl. Leopold was brave enough to stand up for wilderness at a time when the nation was poised for postwar buildup. We need authentic "home work." I hope to see us weave a land ethic into every aspect of our lives, even our concept of patriotism. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 4 How do we marry our joy with our sorrow in a world as delicate and strong as spider's silk? How do we continue to find faith in a world that seems to have abandoned the sacred? --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 146 To be in correspondence with the world around us -- to learn the names of things, to delight in all that is wild, even our own beating hearts, to embrace our sacred responsibilities toward the sustenance of life, to remember what we seem to have forgotten, that we are part of this beautiful, broken healing Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 I really believe that to stay home, to learn the names of things, to realize who we live among... The notion that we can extend our sense of community, our idea of community, to include all life forms -- plants, animals, rocks, rivers and human beings -- then I believe a politics of place emerges where we are deeply accountable to our communities, to our neighborhoods, to our home. Otherwise, who is there to chart the changes? If we are not home, if we are not rooted deeply in place, making that commitment to dig in and stay put ... if we don't know the names of things, if don't know pronghorn antelope, if we don't know blacktail jackrabbit, if we don't know sage, pinyon, juniper, then I think we are living a life without specificity, and then our lives become abstractions. Then we enter a place of true desolation. I remember a phone call from a friend of mine who lives along the MacKenzie River. She said, "This is the first year in twenty that the chinook salmon have not returned." This woman knows the names of things. This woman is committed to a place. And she sounded the alarm. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 London: You've said that your connection to the natural world is also your connection to yourself. Do you think that's true for everybody? Williams: We're animals, I think we forget that. I think there is an ancient archetypal memory that still exists within us. If we deny that, what is the cost? So I do think it's what binds us as human beings. I wonder, What is it to be human? Especially now that we are so urban. How do we remember our connection with place? What is the umbilical cord that roots us to that primal, instinctive, erotic place? Every time I walk to the edge of this continent and feel the sand beneath my feet, feel the seafoam move up my body, I think, "Ah, yes, evolution." [laughs] You know, it's there, we just forget. I worry, Scott, that we are a people in a process of great transition and we are forgetting what we are connected to. We are losing our frame of reference. Pelicans pass by and we hardly know who they are, we don't know their stories. Again, at what price? I think it's leading us to a place of inconsolable loneliness. That's what I mean by "An Unspoken Hunger." It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by material things. It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by the constant denial. I think that the only thing that can bring us into a place of fullness is being out in the land with other. Then we remember where the source of our power lies. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 Others Slowly, we are coming to realize, one acre at a time, that the spirit of a place preserved enters our own. We are transformed by wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” 147 EFFECT, IMPACT also see “TRUST” Albertina Pisano, a twenty-five-year-old student from the University of Milan, said, "My generation in Europe doesn't know what it means to be at war. I came to the forum to listen and participate." When I asked her if she thought this would make any difference, she answered, "It is making a difference to me." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, Martin Sheen EFFECT, IMPACT 148 EMPATHY, CARE I realized that in American Letters we celebrate both language and landscape, that these words, stories, and poems can create an ethical stance toward life: Melville's Great Whale; Whitman's Leaves of Grass; Thoreau's Walden Pond; Emerson's "Oversoul" -- the natural world infused with divinity. I came to understand through an education in the humanities that knowledge is another form of democracy, the freedom of expression that leads to empathy. It begins with our questions... --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21a How do we engage in responsive citizenship in times of terror? Do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 It is difficult to find peace. I am torn between my anger and my empathy. And then I go for a walk. My balance returns. I calm down, breathe, and allow for deep listening to occur. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 24 EMPATHY, CARE 149 EMPTINESS Red Desert as teacher. Desert as mirage. Desert as illusion, largely our own. What you come to see on the surface is not what you come to know. Emptiness in the desert is the fullness of space, a fullness of space that eliminates time. The desert is time, exposed time, geologic time. One needs time in the desert to see. --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 5-6 150 ENERGY Refuge “Today, I feel stronger, learning to live within the natural cycles of a day and to not expect so much from myself. As women, we hold the moon in our bellies. It is too much to ask to operate on full-moon energy three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I am in a crescent phase. And the energy we expend emotionally belongs to the hidden side of the moon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 Her grandmother Mimi. “She was not only fascinated by energy, but obsessed by it—how energy is used and expelled, conserved and stored, wasted, and recycled. Much of her philosophy of life resided in her belief in an open system of energy, not closed, why she saw the Earth as alive not dead, and why she believed the Universe was similarly constructed. It is also why she believed ‘her energy’ would continue after she died.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 312-313 In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” 151 ENGAGE (generic) To become biologically literate, to engage with our neighbors and communities, to focus on small-scale agriculture and commerce and support them, to realize we are deeply aligned with the life around us—to recognize this movement of the heart and mind and soul as a movement of love that can never be corralled. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting it Right” To make the abstract real, to be unafraid to speak of what we love in the language of story, to remember we are engaged in bloodwork, one day at a time. The presence of personal engagement, its own form of prayer. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting it Right” She lists changes in the West. “all these lands are at risk . . . and that’s one of the things that fuels my work as a writer. Not so much as a polemic, I hope, but writing out of a sense of loss, a sense of grief and a sense of joy, because I think passion encompasses that full spectrum of joy and sorrow. That passion creates engagement. And I think that all we can ask as writers if for engagement in our life and on the page.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Siporin Interview, WAL, 101 “I climb the slickrock on all fours, my hands and feet throbbing with the heat. It feels good to sweat, to be engaged, to inhabit my animal body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 195 “The land is love. Love is what we fear. To disengage from the earth is our own oppression. I stand on the edge of these wetlands, a place of renewal, an oasis in the desert, as an act of faith, believing the sun has completed the southern end of its journey and is now contemplating its return toward light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “We can confront the mysteries of life directly by involving ourselves, patiently and quietly, in the day-to-day dramas of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 137 If we are at all sensitive to the life around us, to one another's pains and joys, to the beauty and fragility of the Earth, it is all about being broken open, allowing ourselves to step out from our hardened veneers and expose our core, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in our emotional response to the world. And how can we not respond? This is what I mean by being "broken open." To engage. To participate. To love. Any one of these actions of the heart will lead to a personal transformation that bears collective gifts. I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. 152 --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” I want to keep my words wild so that even if the land and everything we hold dear is destroyed by shortsightedness and greed, there is a record of beauty and passionate participation by those who saw what was coming. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 “It does not speak well for us as a people that we even have to make the distinction between what is erotic and what is not, because an erotic connection is a life-engaged, making love to the world that I think comes very naturally.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 310 “And of course, the erotic is about love, our deep hunger for communion, where issues of restraint and yearning, engagement and desire enter us. When I think about the moments in my life when I have felt engaged, it’s always about love. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 312 “We are frightened of engagement, of being fully present, because then we risk feeling pain and we feel grief, the grief inherent in life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 319 “We’re creating desperate, isolated, fast-paced lives that give us enormous excuse not to be engaged. We are lonely.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322 ENGAGE GENERAL 153 ENGAGEMENT IN POLITICS also see Activism How do we engage in responsive citizenship in times of terror? Do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 To engage in responsive citizenship, we must become citizens who respond. Passionately. This is how we can make a difference. This is how we can serve society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 This is the path of intellectual freedom and spiritual curiosity. Our insistence on democracy is based on our resistance to complacency. To be engaged. To participate. To create alternatives together. We may be wrong. We will make mistakes. But we can engage in spirited conversation, cherishing the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Thoreau wrote in his essay, “Civil Disobedience,” “Cast your whole vote, not a strip of paper merely, but your whole influence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 It occurred to me, over the many weeks that it took me to respond to Senator Bennett's letter, that what mattered most to me was not what I was willing to die for, but what I was willing to give my life to. In war, death by belief is centered on principles both activated and extinguished in the drama of a random moment. Heroes are buried. A legacy of freedom is maintained through pain. Life by belief is centered on the day-to-day decisions we make that are largely unseen. One produces martyrs born out of violence. The other produces quiet citizens born out of personal commitments toward social change. Both dwell in the hallowed ground of sacrifice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 23 In the five years that we have been engaged in this process with SITLA, the Castle Rock Collaboration and its partners have protected over three thousand acres and raised nearly four million dollars. But perhaps the most important outcome has been the creation of an atmosphere of engagement with other committed individuals who live along the Colorado River Corridor. We are learning that a community engaged is a community empowered. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a In the open space of democracy, we are listening -- ears alert -- we are watching -- eyes open -- registering the patterns and possibilities for engagement. Some acts are private; some are public. Our oscillations between local, national, and global gestures map the full range of our movement. Our strength lies in our imagination, and paying attention to what sustains life, rather than what destroys it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply 154 seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a I wrote a letter home in the form of an op-ed piece for the Salt Lake Tribune. I wanted my community to know about this calm manifestation of willful resolve demonstrating a simple fact: Even if our political leaders cannot read the pulse of a changing world, the people do. The European Social Forum had just held its meetings in Florence, where issues ranging from health and the environment to international trade to the possibility of a war in Iraq were discussed. It ended with this gesture of movement, much of it along the banks of the Arno River, creating a river of another sort, a river of humans engaged in a diverse dialogue of peace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55b As I look back over the story we have been living in Castle Valley, it does not begin to convey the power and empowering nature of the process. It is through the process of defining what we want as a town that we are becoming a real community. It is through the act of participation that we change. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, {On Whitman and Lincoln} Both men were purveyors of a spiritual democracy borne out of love and loss. Both men articulated the wisdom of their hearts borne out of direct engagement. . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b Democracy depends on engagement, a firsthand accounting of what one sees, what one feels, and what one thinks, followed by the artful practice of expressing the truth of our times through our own talents, gifts, and vocations. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b We have a history of bravery in this nation and we must call it forward now. Our future is guaranteed only by the degree of our personal involvement and commitment to an inclusive justice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government," said Edward Abbey. To not be engaged in the democratic process, to sit back and let others do the work for us, is to fall prey to bitterness and cynicism. It is the passivity of cynicism that has broken the back of our collective outrage. We succumb to our own depression believing there is nothing we can do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a 155 We are a people addicted to speed and superficiality, and a nation that prides itself on moral superiority. But our folly lies in not seeing what we base our superiority on. Wealth and freedom? What is wealth if we cannot share it? What is freedom if we cannot offer it as a vision of compassion and restraint, rather than force and aggression? Without an acknowledgement of complexity in a society of sound bites, we will not find the true source of our anger or an authentic passion that will propel us forward to the place of personal engagement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b We are in need of a reflective activism born out of humility, not arrogance. Reflection, with deep time spent in the consideration of others, opens the door to becoming a compassionate participant in the world. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b My eyes catch the illumined wings of a tern, an Arctic tern, fluttering, foraging above the river -- the embodiment of grace, suspended. The tern animates the vast indifference with its own vibrant intelligence. Black cap; blood-red beak pointed down; white body with black-tipped wings. With my eyes laid bare, I witness a bright thought in big country. While everyone is sleeping, the presence of this tern hovering above the river, alive, alert, engaged, becomes a vision of what is possible. On this night, I met the Arctic Angel and vowed the 22,000 miles of her migratory path between the Arctic and Antarctica would not be in vain. I will remember her. No creature on Earth has spent more time in daylight than this species. No creature on Earth has shunned darkness in the same way as the Arctic tern. No creature carries the strength and delicacy of determination on its back like this slight bird. If air is the medium of the Spirit, then the Arctic tern is its messenger. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, At dinner, I asked [Wangari Maathai] what she had learned in these twenty years. She did not hesitate. "Patience. Patience." And then she talked about how often those working on the margins to create the open space of justice and democracy are not the ones who end up inhabiting that space. "We have to step inside that space we have created for political engagement and claim it for ourselves." she said. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Salt Lake City, UT The dialogue [with the students] that followed was heartening. Never have I seen or felt such engagement in this country. Citizens are informed, active. Of course, there are those who are not. But that has always been the case. 62 million Americans watched the first presidential debate on September 30. There is so much at stake. We are at war in Iraq. We are fighting for public process on public lands. I am not one to use these kinds of words, but it is true. These are contentious times, confusing times, all the more reason and need for deep listening and the creation of open dialogue. . . . This is not about answers, but inquiry, honest, soulful discussion. I remember my grandmother Mimi Saying that first you must identify the question and then it begins to solve itself through your awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Golden Colorado 156 ENGAGEMENT IN POLITICS 157 ENGAGE WITH NATURE NOT DISENGAGE “The land is love. Love is what we fear. To disengage from the earth is our own oppression. I stand on the edge of these wetlands, a place of renewal, an oasis in the desert, as an act of faith, believing the sun has completed the southern end of its journey and is now contemplating its return toward light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 REMAIN “When most people had given up on the Refuge, saying the birds were gone, I was drawn further into its essence. In the same way that when someone is dying many retreat, I chose to stay.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 ENTER “When most people had given up on the Refuge, saying the birds were gone, I was drawn further into its essence. In the same way that when someone is dying many retreat, I chose to stay.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 “Taking hold of one another’s hands, with great joy, they entered the current and floated like a wish downriver.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Stone Spiral,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 57 She enters a juniper tree. “Hours passed, who knows how long; the angle of light shifted. Something had passed between us, evident by the change in my own countenance, the slowing of my pulse, and the softness of my eyes as though I was awakening from a desert trance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 107 This river has muscle when flexed against stone, carved stone, stones that appear as waves of rock, secret knowledge known only through engagement. I am no longer content to sit, but stand and walk, walk to the river, enter the river, surrender my body to water now red, red is the Colorado, blood of my veins. --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music, Red, 150 DWELL, INHABIT “Lee Milner’s gaze through her apartment window out over the cattails was not unlike the heron’s. It will be this stalwartness in the face of terror that offers wetlands their only hope. When she motioned us down in the grasses to observe the black-crowned night heron still fishing at dusk, she was showing us the implacable focus of those who dwell there. This is our first clue to residency.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 44 “Political courage means caring enough to explain what is perceived at the time as madness and staying with an idea long enough, being rooted in a place deep enough, and telling the story widely enough to those who will listen, until it is recognized as wisdom— 158 wisdom reflected back to society through the rejuvenation and well-being of the next generation who can still find wild country to walk in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 181-182 NATURE AS RELATIVES, PART OF COMMUNITY “With my arms out the window, I tried to touch the wings of avocets and stilts. I knew these birds from our private trips to the Refuge. They had become relatives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 19 “I could not separate the Bird Refuge from my family. Devastation respects no boundaries. The landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, the two things I had always regarded as bedrock, were now subject to change. Quicksand.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 40 “I realize months afterward that my grief is much larger than I could ever have imagined. The headless snake without its rattles, the slaughtered birds, even the pumped lake and the flooded desert, become extensions of my family. Grief dares us to love once more.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 252 MARRIAGE “What is means to be married to the earth, to our dreams, to community? What it means to be married to a politics of place that can both inform and inspire us?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 313 NATURE ACTING UPON US “Through the weathering of our spirit, the erosion of our soul, we are vulnerable. Isn’t that what passion is—bodies broken open through change? We are acted upon. We invite and accept the life of another to take root inside.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “First stars appear. A crescent moon. I throw down my sleeping bag. The stillness of the desert instructs me like a trail of light over water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 I lay out these ten sections on the flat granite rocks I am sitting on. The sun threatens to dry them. But I wait for the birds. Within minutes, Clark’s nutcrackers and gray jays join me. I suck on oranges as the mountains begin to work on me. This is why I always return. This is why I can always go home. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 160 Her fall and scar. “I have been marked by the desert. The scar meanders down the center of my forehead like a red, clay river. A natural feature on a map. I see the land and myself in context.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 243-244 “A blank spot on the map is an invitation to encounter the natural world, where one’s character will be shaped by the landscape. To enter wilderness is to court risk, and risk favors the senses, enabling one to live well.” 159 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 “Brooke and I slip our red canoe into Half-Moon Bay. Great Salt Lake accepts us like a lover.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 Ed Abbey “was constantly confronting his own humanness, and that the nonhuman world informed his existence so completely that ultimately his existence didn’t matter at all.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Petersen (Bloomsbury) interview INTIMATE INTERACTION WITH NATURE “Brooke and I slip our red canoe into Half-Moon Bay. Great Salt Lake accepts us like a lover.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 The woman wallowing in the red clay mud in “The Bowl.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Bowl,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 35 What are we afraid of? The world we frequently surrender to defies our participation in nature and seduces us into believing that our only place in the wild is as spectator, onlooker. A society of individuals who only observe a landscape from behind the lends of a camera or the window of an automobile without entering in is perhaps no different from the person who obtains sexual gratification from looking at the sexual play of others. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 106 “Without feeling. Perhaps these two words are the key, the only way we can begin to understand our abuse of each other and our abuse of the land. Could it be that what we fear most is our capacity to feel, so that we annihilate symbolically and physically that which is beautiful and tender, anything that dares us to consider our creative selves? The erotic world is silenced, reduced to a collection of objects we curate and control, be it a vase, a woman, or wilderness. Our lives become a piece in the puzzle of pornography as we go through the motions of daily intercourse without any engagement of the soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 108 A group of friends gather in the desert—call it a pilgrimage—at the confluence of the Little Colorado and the Colorado Rivers in the Grand Canyon. . . . Nothing but deep joy can be imagined. . . . They take off their clothes and sink to their waists, turn, roll over, and wallow in pleasure. Their skins are slippery with clay. They rub each other’s bodies; arms, shoulders, backs, torsos, even their faces are painted in mud, and they become the animals they are. Blue eyes. Green eyes. Brown eyes behind masks. In the heat, lying on ledges, they bake until they crack like terracotta. For hours, they dream the life of lizards. In time, they submerge themselves in the Little Colorado, diving and surfacing freshly human. D. H. Lawrence writes: “There exist two great modes of life—the religious and the sexual.” Eroticism is the bridge. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 109 160 We must take our love outdoors where reciprocity replaces voyeurism, respect replaces indulgence. We can choose to photograph a tree or we can sit in its arms, where we are participating in wild nature, even our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 111 This river has muscle when flexed against stone, carved stone, stones that appear as waves of rock, secret knowledge known only through engagement. I am no longer content to sit, but stand and walk, walk to the river, enter the river, surrender my body to water now red, red is the Colorado, blood of my veins. --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 150 “O’Keefe’s watercolor Canyon with Crows (1917) creates a heartfelt wash of ‘her spiritual home,’ a country that elicits participation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 23 “Mr. Kurumada also had an uncanny gift for recognizing soils. It grew out of his intimacy with the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 50 “The two herons who flew over me have now landed downriver. I do not believe they are fearful of love. I do not believe their decisions are based on a terror of loss. They are not docile, loyal, or obedient. They are engaged in a rich, biological context, completely present. They are feathered Buddhas casting blue shadows on the snow, fishing on the shortest day of the year.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “We call out—and the land calls back. It is our interaction with the ecosystem; the Echo System.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 82 “A story allows us to envision the possibility of things. It draws on the powers of memory and imagination. It awakens us to our surroundings. . . . It is here, by our own participation in nature, that we pick up clues to an awareness of what a story is.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 4 BECOMING ACCEPTED BY NATURE “The hostility of this landscape teaches me how to be quiet and unobtrusive, how to find grace among spiders with a poisonous bite. I sat on a lone boulder I the midst of the curlews. By now, they had grown accustomed to me. This too, I found encouraging—that in the face of stressful intrusions, we can eventually settle in. One begins to almost trust the intruder as a presence that demands greater intent toward life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 147 RITUALLY INITIATED INTO NATURE “Personal ritual or shared ceremony rooted in landscape provides connections, continuity. It reminds us that we do not stand alone. Rather, we become initiated into something much larger than ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 70 161 NATURE AS PART OF CONSCIOUSNESS; MIND AS PART OF NATURE “The unknown Utah that some see as a home for used razor blades, toxins, and biological warfare, is a landscape of the imagination, a secret we tell to those who will keep it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 OPENNESS “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 MISC On Mary Austin: “I view her as a sister, soulmate, and a literary mentor, a woman who inspires us toward direct engagement with the land in life as well as on the page.” She was unafraid of political action embracing the rights of Indian people, women, and wildlands. Mary Austin was a poet, a pioneer, and a patriot.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mary Austin’s Ghost,” Red, 166 TL: You have been a strong supporter of the preservation of wilderness in Utah. Can you briefly explain why? TTW: I have been a strong supporter of wilderness preservation in Utah because it feels like these lands deserve protection from the continued rape of the West. That is not to say that I do not have respect for the extractive industry in my state, I do. But I believe some lands are truly special, say the word, "sacred," even--that because of their importance biologically speaking to the migration corridors of animals, the habitat necessary for threatened and delicate species of plants, and the spiritual values they hold for society and inspire: silence, awe, beauty, majesty--that these lands have their own sovereignty that deserves to be honored and defended by the law. I know it is very popular these days in some parts of the Academy to say that "wilderness" is simply a human construct, that wilderness has become irrelevant before it has become resolved. We do not have language that adequately conveys what wildness means, but I do not believe we can "deconstruct" nature. This notion strikes me as a form of intellectual arrogance. Personally, I feel grateful to the national park ideal, places of pilgrimage within North America that allow the public to engage with the natural world. I am grateful to those who enacted the 1964 Wilderness Act and the other pieces of legislation that try to maintain a possible integrity of clean air and water. Wilderness reminds us of restraint, that is a difficult and contentious idea for our society that defines itself on growth and consumption. There is no question this is "an American idea" but until we can come to sustainable vision where we do not exploit everything in sight, it's the best we can do-- Our challenge is how to create sustainable lives and sustainable communities in a dance with wildness. I believe that is what we are working toward in the American West and it is not easy. In fact, it is a long and arduous and at times, difficult process, one that requires a good deal of listening and patience and 162 compassion. I keep thinking of Stegner when he said, "We need a society to match the scenery." --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 JW: It is kind of like taking religion indoors into a climate-controlled sanctuary. In doing that, there's a terrible negative result for a politics of place. TTW: That's right, because we can abdicate our responsibilities. That was one of the aspects of Hieronymus Bosch's triptych, The Garden of Earthly Delights, that seized me. It seems that, as Christians, it is very easy for us to contemplate heaven and to contemplate hell. It's not so easy for us to be engaged on the Earth. I was so struck by the painting's side panels of heaven and hell, and then the center panel, of Earth, where you see this wild engagement -- even love-making -- with the Earth. With the birds on the same physical scale as the human beings, there is this wonderful confluence of consciousness in that center panel that we forget. We lose track of the central delights of a spiritual life -- hand on rock, body in water, the sweet conversations that exist when we're completely present in place, home, Earth. Again, not that separation of heaven and hell, past and future. The present is the gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 163 EQUALITY, JUSTICE Open Space of Democracy The open space of democracy provides justice for all living things -- plants, animals, rocks, and rivers, as well as human beings. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a Here is my question: what might a different kind of power look like, feel like? And can power be distributed equitably among ourselves, even beyond our own species? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a The power of nature is the power of a life in association. Nothing stands alone. On my haunches, I see a sunburst lichen attached to limestone; algae and fungi are working together to break down rock into soil. I cannot help but recognize a radical form of democracy at play. Each organism is rooted in its own biological niche, drawing its power from its relationship to other organisms. An equality of being contributes to an ecological state of health and succession. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a I hear Walt Whitman’s voice once again. “The quality of Being . . . is the lesson of nature.” Raw, wild beauty is a deeply held American value. It is its own declaration of independence. Equality is experienced through humility. Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a-b The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a We have a history of bravery in this nation and we must call it forward now. Our future is guaranteed only by the degree of our personal involvement and commitment to an inclusive justice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b 164 We have made the mistake of confusing democracy with capitalism and have mistaken political engagement with a political machinery we all understand to be corrupt. It is time to resist the simplistic, utilitarian view that what is good for business is good for humanity in all its complex web of relationships. A spiritual democracy is inspired by our own sense of what we can accomplish together, honoring an integrated society where the social, intellectual, physical, and economic well-being of all is considered, not just the wealth and health of the corporate few. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a If we cannot begin to embrace democracy as a way of life: the right to be educated, to think, discuss, dissent, create, and act, acting in imaginative and revolutionary ways . . . . if we fail to see the necessity of each of us to participate in the formation of an ethical life . . . if we cannot bring a sense of equity and respect into our homes, our marriages, our schools, and our churches, alongside our local, state, and federal governments, then democracy simply becomes, as Dewey suggests, “a form of idolatry,” as we descend into the basement of nationalism. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a Are we ready for the next evolutionary leap—to recognize the restoration of democracy as the restoration of liberty and justice for all species, not just our own? To be in the service of something beyond ourselves—to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together—this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. EQUALITY, JUSTICE 165 EROSION “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “Erosion. Perhaps this is what we need, an erosion of all we have held secure. A rupture of all we believed sacred, sacrosanct. A psychic scouring of our extended ideals such as individual property rights in the name of economic gain at the expense of ecological health.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 160 No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 162 “We can dance; even in this erosional landscape, we can dance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “These wildlands matter. Call them places of Original Mind where an authentic sensibility can evolve. Wild country offers us perspective and gravity, even in an erosional landscape like the Colorado Plateau.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185 “Through the weathering of our spirit, the erosion of our soul, we are vulnerable. Isn’t that what passion is—bodies broken open through change? We are acted upon. We invite and accepts the life of another to take root inside.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “What has been opened, removed, eroded away is as compelling to me as what remains.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 199 JW: I've read that the etymology of "ecology" is "ecos," which means home. TTW: Yes. Again, we are most mindful of those relationships that we live with every single day. I love the fact that I live in an erosional landscape. You watch the wind and you realize as you see the sand swirling about you that arches are still being created, that this 166 isn't something that belongs to the geologic past. Metaphorically, that is also very powerful. To me, a spiritual life is also part of an erosional life. We are eroding the façade. Wind -- spirit -- sculpts us, sculpts our character, our consciousness, in ways we can't even know. I am shaped differently from others because of the spiritual processes that have formed me. There is physical erosion that goes on in the desert and spiritual erosion that goes on in our search for the truth, however we define that for ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 167 EROTICS, SEXUALITY, SENSUALITY (not Erotics of Place) Quoting someone in Denmark: “For me, eroticism relates to all the highest and finest things of life. Every couple on Earth participates in this confirmation of creation, the urge we have to share ourselves, to make each other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 110 “Here lies our dilemma as human beings: Nothing exists in isolation. We need a context for eros, not a pedestal, not a video screen. The lightning we witness crack and charge a night sky in the desert is the same electricity we feel in ourselves whenever we dare to touch flesh, rock, body, Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 111 “I dissolve. I am water. Only my face is exposed like an apparition over ripples. Playing with water. Do I dare? My legs open. The rushing water turns my body and touches me with a fast finger that does not tire. I receive without apology. Time. Nothing to rush, only to feel. I feel time in me. It is endless pleasure in the current. No control. No thought. Simply, here. . . . my body mixes with the body of the water like jazz, the currents like jazz. I too am free to improvise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 201-202 “It is our nature to be aroused—not once, but again and again. Where do we find the strength not to be pulled apart by our passions? How do we inhabit the canyons inside a divided heart? One body. Two bodies. Three.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Fire,” Red, 208 “There is no defense against an open heart and a supple body in dialogue with wildness. Internal strength is an absorption of the external landscape. We are informed by beauty, raw and sensual. Through an erotics of place our sensitivity becomes our sensibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 “If we ignore our connection to the land and disregard and deny our relationship to the Pansexual nature of earth, we will render ourselves impotent as a species. No passion – no hope of survival.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 London: In this culture we tend to draw very distinct lines between the spiritual world and the political world. And yet you don't seem to see any separation between them. You've said that for you it's all one -- the spiritual and the political, your home life and your landscape. Williams: I think we learn that lesson well by observing the natural world. There is no separation. That is the wonderful ecological mind that Gregory Bateson talks about -- the patterns that connect, the stories that inform and inspire us and teach us what is possible. Somewhere along the line we have become segregated in the way we think about things and become compartmentalized. Again, I think that contributes to our sense of isolation and our lack of a whole vision of the world -- seeing the world whole, even holy. I can't imagine a secular life, a spiritual life, an intellectual life, a physical life. I mean, we would be completely wrought with schizophrenia, wouldn't we? 168 So I love the interrelatedness of things. We were just observing out at Point Reyes a whole colony of elephant seals and it was so deeply beautiful, and it was so deeply spiritual. It was fascinating listening to this wonderful biologist, Sarah Allen Miller, speak of her relationship to these beings for 20 years. How the males, the bulls, have this capacity to dive a mile deep, can you imagine? And along the way they sleep while they dive. And I kept thinking, "And what are their dreams?" And the fact that they can stay under water for up to two hours. Think of the kind of ecological mind that an elephant seal holds. Then looking at the females, these unbelievably luxurious creatures that were just sunbathing on this crescent beach with the waves breaking out beyond them. Then they would just ripple out into the water in these blue-black bodies, just merging with the water. It was the most erotic experience I've ever seen. We were there for hours. No separation between the spiritual and the physical. It was all one. I had the sense that we had the privilege of witnessing other -- literally another culture, that extension of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 London: You've said that your connection to the natural world is also your connection to yourself. Do you think that's true for everybody? Williams: We're animals, I think we forget that. I think there is an ancient archetypal memory that still exists within us. If we deny that, what is the cost? So I do think it's what binds us as human beings. I wonder, What is it to be human? Especially now that we are so urban. How do we remember our connection with place? What is the umbilical cord that roots us to that primal, instinctive, erotic place? Every time I walk to the edge of this continent and feel the sand beneath my feet, feel the seafoam move up my body, I think, "Ah, yes, evolution." [laughs] You know, it's there, we just forget. I worry, Scott, that we are a people in a process of great transition and we are forgetting what we are connected to. We are losing our frame of reference. Pelicans pass by and we hardly know who they are, we don't know their stories. Again, at what price? I think it's leading us to a place of inconsolable loneliness. That's what I mean by "An Unspoken Hunger." It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by material things. It's a hunger that cannot be quelled by the constant denial. I think that the only thing that can bring us into a place of fullness is being out in the land with other. Then we remember where the source of our power lies. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 “Our culture has chosen to define erotic in very narrow terms, terms that largely describe pornography or voyeurism, the opposite of a relationship that asks for reciprocity. One of the things I was interested in with Desert Quartet was to explore the use of language in its pure sense, to use the word ‘erotic’ to intensify, to expand our view of Eros, to literally be in relationship on the page. When we’re in relation, whether it is with a human being, with an animal, or with the desert, I think there is an exchange of the erotic impulse. We are engaged, we are vulnerable, we are both giving and receiving, we are fully present in that moment, and we are able to heighten our capacity for passion which I think is the full range of emotion, both the joy and sorrow that one feels when in wild country. To speak about Eros in a particular landscape is to acknowledge our capacity to love Other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 3-4 (On Unspoken Hunger) “Intimacy makes us uncomfortable, so there is another issue here; I really believe our lack of intimacy with the land has initiated a lack of intimacy with each other. So how do we cross these borders? How do we keep things fluid, not fixed, so we 169 can begin to explore both our body and the body of the earth? No separation. Eros: nature even our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 4 Jensen: What does erotic mean to you? Terry Tempest Williams: It means ‘in relation.” Erotic is what those deep relations are and can be that engage the whole body—our heart, our mind, our spirit, our flesh. It is that moment of being exquisitely present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 310 “It does not speak well for us as a people that we even have to make the distinction between what is erotic and what is not, because an erotic connection is a life-engaged, making love to the world that I think comes very naturally.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 310 Dying mother: “The permeability of the body was present. I felt her spirit disengage from the soles of her feet and move upward to leave out of the top of her head. It was asa though she was climbing through her body on a ladder of light. The only analogue I had for that feeling was in making love when you’re moving toward orgasm. Again, you are walking up that ladder of light. It’s almost like being inside a piece of music, moving up the scale, the pitch gets higher and higher and more intense, more intense. My mother’s death was one of the sensual, sexual, erotic encounters I have ever had.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 311 It is for my mouth, forever, I am in love with it, I will go to the bank by the wood, and become undisguised and naked, I am mad for it to be in contact with me. --Walt Whitman --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b 170 EROTICS OF PLACE “If a sense of place can give rise to a politics of place, where might an erotics of place lead? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 16 on Desert Quartet. “I wanted to create a narrative that experimented with the question of what it might mean to make love to the land. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 16 There is an image of woman in the desert, her back arched as her hands lift her body up from black rocks. Naked. She spreads her legs over a boulder etched by the Ancient Ones; a line of white lightning zigzags from her mons pubis. She if perfectly in place, engaged, ecstatic, and wild. This is Judy Dater’s photograph “Self-Portrait with Petroglyphs.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 “Another woman stands on her tiptoes, naked, holding draped fabric close to her body as it cascades over her breasts, down her belly and legs, like water. A strand of pearls hangs down her back; her eyes are closed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 “I wonder about our notion of the erotic—why it is so often aligned with the pornographic, the limited view of the voyeur watching the act of intercourse without any interest in the relationship itself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 105 What are we afraid of? The world we frequently surrender to defies our participation in nature and seduces us into believing that our only place in the wild is as spectator, onlooker. A society of individuals who only observe a landscape from behind the lends of a camera or the window of an automobile without entering in is perhaps no different from the person who obtains sexual gratification from looking at the sexual play of others. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 106 “Eroticism, being in relation, calls the inner life into play. No longer numb, we feel the magnetic pull in our bodies toward something stronger, more vital than simply ourselves. Arousal become a dance with longing. We form a secret partnership with possibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 106 She enters a juniper tree. “Hours passed, who knows how long; the angle of light shifted. Something had passed between us, evident by the change in my own countenance, the slowing of my pulse, and the softness of my eyes as though I was awakening from a desert trance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 107 “I finally inched my way down, wrapping my hands around the trunk. Feet on Earth. I took out my water bottle and saturated the roots. Pink sand turned red. I left the desert in a state of wetness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 107-108 171 “Without feeling. Perhaps these two words are the key, the only way we can begin to understand our abuse of each other and our abuse of the land. Could it be that what we fear most is our capacity to feel, so that we annihilate symbolically and physically that which is beautiful and tender, anything that dares us to consider our creative selves? The erotic world is silenced, reduced to a collection of objects we curate and control, be it a vase, a woman, or wilderness. Our lives become a piece in the puzzle of pornography as we go through the motions of daily intercourse without any engagement of the soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 108 A group of friends gather in the desert—call it a pilgrimage—at the confluence of the Little Colorado and the Colorado Rivers in the Grand Canyon. . . . Nothing but deep joy can be imagined. . . . They take off their clothes and sink to their waists, turn, roll over, and wallow in pleasure. Their skins are slippery with clay. They rub each other’s bodies; arms, shoulders, backs, torsos, even their faces are painted in mud, and they become the animals they are. Blue eyes. Green eyes. Brown eyes behind masks. In the heat, lying on ledges, they bake until they crack like terracotta. For hours, they dream the life of lizards. In time, they submerge themselves in the Little Colorado, diving and surfacing freshly human. D. H. Lawrence writes: “There exist two great modes of life—the religious and the sexual.” Eroticism is the bridge. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 109 Unspoken Hunger “My connection to the natural world is my connection to self—erotic, mysterious, and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “Marian Engle, in her novel Bear, portrays a woman and a bear in an erotics of place. It doesn’t matter whether the bear is seen as male or female. The relationship between the two is sensual, wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “It is time for us to take off our masks, to step out from behind our personas – whatever they might be: educators, activists, biologists, geologists, writers, farmers, ranchers, and bureaucrats—and admit we are lovers, engaged in an erotics of place. Loving the land. Honoring its mysteries. Acknowledging, embracing the spirit of place—there is nothing more legitimate and there is nothing more true. That is why we are here. It is why we do what we do. There is nothing intellectual about it. We love the land. It is a primal affair.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 84 > cf Gary Snyder: “no one loves rock” “Rituals. Ceremonies. Engaging with the land. Loving the land and dreaming it. An erotics of place.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 85 172 “There is no defense against an open heart and a supple body in dialogue with wildness. Internal strength is an absorption of the external landscape. We are informed by beauty, raw and sensual. Through an erotics of place our sensitivity becomes our sensibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 “I believe that out of an erotics of place, a politics of place is emerging. Not radical, but conservative, a politics rooted in empathy in which we extend our notion of community, as Aldo Leopold has urged, to include all life forms—plants, animals, rivers, and soils. The enterprise of conservation is a revolution, and evolution of the spirit.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 > all three types of engagement Interviews TL: I recall hearing you read from a manuscript version of Desert Quartet: An Erotic Landscape at a conference in Salt Lake City a few years back. At the time, you seemed nervous about writing frankly about the erotics of landscape. It seems a risky thing to write about. Has the reaction to the book justified your nervousness, or has it been favorably received? Why did you choose to write about this topic? TTW: You ask about Desert Quartet and why I wrote that book. I think every writer struggles with various questions and tries to make peace with those questions, those longings through their art, their craft. I am interested in the notion of love and why we are so fearful of intimacy, with each other and with the land. I wanted to explore the idea of the erotic, not as it is defined by my culture as pornographic and exploitive, but rather what it might mean to engage in a relationship of reciprocity. I wanted to try and write out of the body, not out of the head. I wanted to create a circular text, not a linear one. I wanted to play with the elemental movements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air, and bow to the desert, a landscape I love. I wanted to see if I could create on the page a dialogue with the heartopen wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 I can tell you that in Refuge the question that was burning in me was, How do we find refuge in change? Everything around me that was familiar had been turned inside out with my mother's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and with the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge being flooded. With Pieces of White Shell, it was, What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place? With An Unspoken Hunger it was really, How do we engage in community? Am I an artist or am I an activist? So it was, How does a poetics of place translate into a politics of place? And in A Desert Quartet the question that was burning inside me was a very private one: How might we make love to the land? --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1-2 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it 173 means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 “This was a curious juxtaposition in my own life. On one hand, I was completely immersed in the idea of Eros and nature, writing out of the body, wanting in some way to respond to the beauty of these sacred lands of the Colorado Plateau through language. And then on the other hand, I was asking, What can we do to stop this legislation? As a writer how can I be of use? . . . These are the kinds of confluences we experience as writers and yet they were both the same thing—a love of land. A response to home.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 17-18 “I want to see how we might redefine the erotic, how an erotics of place might lead to a politics of place. Ultimately, it’s about the love we fear. We are so afraid of loving the Earth, loving each other, loving ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 131 “I think an erotics of place may be one of the reasons why environmentalists are seen as subversive. . . Because if we really have to confront wildness, solitude, and serenity, both the fierceness and compassionate nature of the land, then we ultimately have to confront it in ourselves, and it’s easier to be numb, to be distracted, to be disengaged.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 131 “To engage in the erotics of place means to engage in time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 318 174 ETHICS … Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “Aldo Leopold was tutoring me sentence by sentence in how ecological principles are intrinsically woven into an ethical framework of being.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 181-182 After defeat of dam on Green River: “The preservation and protection of wilderness became part of our sacred responsibility, a responsibility that each generation will carry.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 182 One Patriot “Rachel Carson did not turn her back on the ongoing chronicle of the natural history of the dead. She bore witness. ‘It was time,’ Carson said, ‘that human beings admit their kinship with other forms of life. If we cannot accept this moral ethic, then we too are complicit in the killing.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 44 Do we have the moral courage to step forward and openly question every law, person, and practice that denies justice toward nature? 175 Do we have the strength and will to continue in this American tradition of bearing witness to beauty and terror which is its own form of advocacy? And do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 “In Silent Spring we . . . witness how a confluence of poetry and politics with sound science can create an ethical stance toward life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 I realized that in American Letters we celebrate both language and landscape, that these words, stories, and poems can create an ethical stance toward life: Melville's Great Whale; Whitman's Leaves of Grass; Thoreau's Walden Pond; Emerson's "Oversoul" -- the natural world infused with divinity. I came to understand through an education in the humanities that knowledge is another form of democracy, the freedom of expression that leads to empathy. It begins with our questions... --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21a Interviews TL: Your work is part of what seems to be a renaissance in the genre of nature writing. Why do you think this renaissance is occurring, if you think it is? TTW: I think there has always been a strong tradition in American letters of place-based literature, literature that sees landscape as character. Look at Melville, Thoreau, Emerson, Dickinson, Whitman of the nineteenth century and in this century, Mary Austin writing about the desert, Willa Cather writing about the prairies, Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck honoring the land in their novels and short stories. The list goes on and on, poets, too. W.S. Merwin, Galway Kinnell, Mary Oliver. Is this to be called "Nature Writing?" If there is a "renaissance" in the genre as you suggest with contemporary writers particularly in the American West, perhaps it is because we are chronicling the losses of the exploitation we are seeing, that we are trying to grapple with "an ethic of place" and what that means to our communities in all their diversity. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 To be in correspondence with the world around us -- to learn the names of things, to delight in all that is wild, even our own beating hearts, to embrace our sacred responsibilities toward the sustenance of life, to remember what we seem to have forgotten, that we are part of this beautiful, broken healing Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 JW: One of the stories that's interesting to me, since you bring up your Mormon heritage, is the story of the Mormon people coming in search of land, and then finding the land -"This is the place!" -- in the Salt Lake valley. Has that heritage of a people seeking a sacred land influenced Utah's public policy in the direction of conservation? TTW: It's a complicated question. I started thinking about the conservation ethic in Utah, specifically inherent in the Mormon religion, when we were confronted with a crisis in our state. And that was the crisis of wilderness. You'll remember in 1994 when the Republicans took over the House and Senate with the Gingrich revolution, how everything shifted. Our political delegation in Utah couldn't have been more thrilled, with Orrin Hatch 176 and Representative Jim Hansen at the helm. It was decided that for once and for all they would end the wilderness debate in Utah and because they had a majority they thought that this would move through quickly. To Governor Mike Leavitt's credit, he said we needed to have a public process. And so for six months there were hearings held in every county all over the state of Utah that had wilderness under consideration in Bureau of Land Management land. Over 70 percent of Utahns wanted more wilderness, not less. In June, Hatch and Bennett, the Senators from our state, as well as Hanson in the House, came up with what was called "The Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995." This said that 1.7 million acres out of 22 million acres of BLM land would be designated as wilderness. Those of us within the conservation community were appalled. The citizens' proposal had been for 5.7 million acres. So a nasty fight ensued in the halls of Congress. Bottom line, people spoke out, not only in Utah, but all over the country, and the bill died. And, because of the political climate judged by a very astute Bill Clinton, the Grand Staircase Esconde National Monument was created with almost 2 million acres of wilderness in Utah. Our Senators would have had us believe that if you were Mormon, you were Republican, you were anti-wilderness; if you were non-Mormon you were a Democrat, you were pro-wilderness. Those of us within the Mormon culture said: That cannot be true! So we set out to find stories that would show otherwise. We created a book called New Genesis -- A Mormon Reader on Land and Community that contains about 40 stories from members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who spoke about how nature informed their spirituality as a Mormon or, conversely, about how Mormonism has enhanced their view of nature. It was very, very moving to see the different discussions, everything from the natural history of the quilt, to a treatise on air pollution, to a conversion story of the former mayor of Salt Lake City, a world-class rock climber, who, hand on stone, felt the spirit of God and joined the Mormon church. In each of these essays they tied the theme to a Mormon scripture, or to something in the doctrine, so that we were trying to pull our history of a land ethic through time to where we are now at the beginning of this new millennium. We also took a deep look at our history to say: What was the ethic of Brigham Young when he came across the plains during the Mormon exodus, came into the Salt Lake Valley, and said, "This is the place!"? We found that there was a very strong conservation ethic. That over the pulpit, at Temple Square, in the Tabernacle, there were talks given by general authorities that warned the saints of overgrazing, warned about using too much water and upheld the value of water conservation. Somewhere along the line we have forgotten that. It's been an interesting exercise of retrieval. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 4 the Teton Science School “where those ideas in terms of the land ethic were really born in me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Siporin Interview, WAL 100 Seeing Earth from space: “we recognize our home, our family, our community, and therefore become fiercely accountable for the landscape that we are a part of. We can begin to adopt an ethics of place.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 60-61 177 FAITH, TRUST, OPTIMISM …. “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 “There has been a positive respond from the Mormon hierarchy of women because they see in this book the values of family and community and prayer and faith that are all honored within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 124-125 Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b I am standing in the corner with my back to the wall. Never have I felt such dismay over the leadership and public policies of our nation. Never have I felt such determination and faith in our ability to change our country's current direction. How to reconcile these seemingly contradictory emotions in an election year when we appear to be anything but united states? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The heart embodies faith because it leads us to charity. It is the muscle behind hope that brings confidence to those who despair. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a On this magical night, we watch in wonder and awe as young people climb, carrying wood on their backs, and lay down their burdens, striking the match, blowing on embers, fanning the flames with great faith and joy. Fire. Fire in freefall, over the cliff, reminding us all what is primal and fleeting. We cannot know what lies ahead. We may be unsure how to bring our prayers forward. But on this night in the desert, we celebrate this cascading river of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b FAITH, TRUST 178 FAMILY, HUMAN Red “I could not separate the Bird Refuge from my family. Devastation respects no boundaries. The landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, the two things I had always regarded as bedrock, were now subject to change. Quicksand.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 40 “What an African woman nurtures in the soil will eventually feed her family. Likewise, what she nurtures in her relations will ultimately nurture her community. It is a matter of living the circle. “Because we have forgotten our kinship with the land,” she continued, “our kinship with each other has become pale. We shy away from accountability and involvement. We choose to be occupied, which is quite different from being engaged. In America, time is money. In Kenya, time is relationship. We look at investments differently.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 137 Brooke’s toast: We are guarding the moments given to each of us as members of a family, small bits of time where the family becomes not just a mirror, but a clear, still pond, which each of us can gaze into for glimpses of our real being. We are guarding the very ideal of family, the bond, the web connecting us all, which gives rise to an energy, a lust for life lost to those for whom family has lost significance. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 207-208 The men in my family have migrated south for one year to lay pipe in southern Utah. My keening is for my family, fractured and displaced. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 238 > note she say the men have “migrated” “Neighbors extend the notion of family. We were fed by them. Thank you.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 295 “My family has grown through this process. Each of us has found a new configuration born out of change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 306 Unspoken Hunger “As a writer and a woman with obligations to both family and community, I have tried to adopt this ritual in the balancing of a public and private life. We are at home in the deserts and mountains, as well as in our dens. Above ground in the abundance of spring and summer, I am available. Below ground in the deepening of autumn and winter, I am not. I need hibernation in order to create.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 179 “We stood strong and resolute as neighbors, friends, and family witnessed the release of a red-tailed hawk. Wounded, now healed, we caught a glimpse of our own wild nature soaring above willows.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “We are here to honor Ed, to honor Clarke, Becky . . .; to acknowledge family, tribe, and clan. And it has everything to do with love: loving each other, loving the land. This is a rededication of purpose and place.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 77 Open Space of Democracy In our increasingly fundamentalist country, we have to remember what is fundamental: gravity -- what draws us to a place and keeps us there, like love, like kinship. When we commit to a particular place, a certain element of choice is removed. We begin to see the world whole instead of fractured. Long-term strategies replace short-term gains. We inform one another and become an educated public that responds. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a Interviews London: You mentioned Pico Iyer. He has described home as the sense of a bleak landscape -- something that inspires the sort of melancholy that only a truly familiar place can evoke. That seems so very different from what you are saying. Williams: Having lived in Utah all of my life, I can tell you that in many ways I know of no place more lonely, no place more unfamiliar. When I talk about how it is both a blessing and a burden to have those kinds of roots, it can be terribly isolating, because when you are so familiar, you know the shadow. My family lives all around me. We see each other daily. It's very, very complicated. I think that families hold us together and they split us apart. I think my heart breaks daily living in Salt Lake City, Utah. But I still love it. And that is the richness, the texture. So when Pico talks about home being a place of isolation, I think he's right. But it's the paradox. I think that's why I so love Great Salt Lake. Every day when I look out at that lake, I think, "Ah, paradox" -- a body of water than no one can drink. It's the liquid lie of the desert. But I think we have those paradoxes within us and certainly the whole idea of home is windswept with paradox. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 “the Navajo culture sent me back home to my own. There are similarities, a strong family structure reinforced through generational storytelling, a keen belief in the power of healing, but there are also marked differences. I had to come to terms with the fact that in Mormon culture, or any Christian religion for that matter, we are taught that human beings as having dominion over the land. This is one of the things that has led to my own estrangement from orthodoxy. Most Indigenous People do not view their relationship toward the earth this way. They see themselves as a part of nature with a sense of kinship extended to all forms of life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 She wrote Refuge “to remember my mother and grandmothers and what it was that we shared, and as a way of recalling how women conduct their lives in the midst of family, in the midst of illness, in the midst of death—in the midst of day-to-day living. I wrote Refuge to celebrate the correspondence between the landscape of my childhood and the 180 landscape of my family, to explore the idea of how one finds refuge in change. And it is Refuge that gave me my voice as a woman.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122 Her mother “believed that the natural world was a third partner in her marriage.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 128 “Our culture of consumerism tells us what we need, what we want, and what we deserve. It is the economics of entitlement. And I believe it is an illusion. I believe our needs are more basic: home; family; community; health; the health of the land which includes all life forms, plants, animals, and human beings. We need open country, open spaces, a wildness that offers us deliverance from inauthentic lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 Speaking of family: “We knew that our relationship to the land was our relationship to each other. We could hold Church in the middle of the Great Basin as well as in the Monument Park Fourteenth Ward.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 125 “I write about what I know, and I am inspired by what I don’t know – which is enormous. I believe in the longing for unity, that we may in fact be asking for a new way to think about science in reality are asking for a new way to think about ourselves, that this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 181 FAMILY, NATURE AS Red As a woman of forty-four years, I will not bear children. My husband and I will not be parents. We have chosen to define family in another way. I look across the sweep of slickrock stretching in all directions, the rise and fall of such arid terrain. A jackrabbit blots down the wash. Pinon jays flock and bank behind cluster of junipers. The tracks of coyote are everywhere. Would you believe me when I tell you this is family, kinship with the desert, the breadth of my relations coursing through a wider community, the shock of recognition which each scarlet gilia, the smell of rain. And this is enough for me, more than enough. I trace my genealogy back to the land. Human and wild, I can see myself whole, not isolated but integrated in time and place. . . . Is not the tissue of family always a movement between harmony and distance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 157 Let me tease another word from the heart of a nation: sacrifice. Not to bear children may be its own form of sacrifice. How do I explain my love of children, yet our decision not to give birth to a child? Perhaps it is about sharing. I recall watching my niece, Diane, nine years old, on her stomach, eye to eye with a lizard; neither moved while contemplating the other. In the sweetness of that moment, I felt the curvature of my heart become the curvature of Earth, the circle of family complete. Diane bears the name of my mother and wears my DNA as closely as my daughter would. Must the act of birth be seen only as a replacement for ourselves? Can we not also conceive of birth as an act of the imagination, giving body to a new way of seeing? Do children need to be our own to be loved as our own? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158-159 Refuge “With my arms out the window, I tried to touch the wings of avocets and stilts. I knew these birds from our private trips to the Refuge. They had become relatives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 19 “I realize months afterward that my grief is much larger than I could ever have imagined. The headless snake without its rattles, the slaughtered birds, even the pumped lake and the flooded desert, become extensions of my family. Grief dares us to love once more.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 252 182 FEAR ……… How do we engage in conversation at a time when the definition of what it means to be a patriot is being narrowly construed? You are either with us or against us. Discussion is waged in absolutes not ambiguities. Corporations have more access to power than people. We, the people. Fear has replaced discussion. Business practices have taken precedence over public process. It doesn't matter what the United Nations advises or what world opinion may be. America in the early years of the twenty-first century has become a force unto itself. The laws it chooses to abide by are its own. What role does this leave us as individuals within a republic? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 When minds close, democracy begins to close. Fear creeps in; silence overtakes speech. Rhetoric masquerades as thought. Dogma is dressed up like an idea. And we are told what to do, not asked what we think. Security is guaranteed. The lie begins to carry more power than the truth until the words of our own founding fathers are forgotten and the images of television replace history. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 We can ask ourselves within the context and specificity of our own lives, how fear can be transformed into courage, silence transformed into honest expression, and spiritual isolation quelled through a sense of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Experience opens us, creates a chasm in our heart, an expansion in our lungs, allowing us to pull in fresh air to all that was stagnant. We breathe deeply and remember fear for what it is -- a resistance to the unknown. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 38B What is the disease we are facing in this nation of ours? The disease of fear. Fear creates an atmosphere where craven acts occur, even in our institutions of higher education. When we can no longer count on our colleges and universities to champion and protect free speech, no voice in America is safe. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” letter to Brandon Hollingshead “I believe we need wilderness in order to be more complete human beings, to not be fearful of the animals that we are . . . an animal who understands a sense of humility when watching a grizzly overturn a stump with its front paw to forage for grubs . . . an animal who weeps over the sheer beauty of migrating cranes . . . an animal who has not forgotten what it means to pray before the unfurled blossom of the sacred datura, remembering the source of all true visions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187 London: How central is your Mormon faith to your identity as a writer -- has it had a big influence on your work and ideas? Williams: It's hard to answer because, again, I don't think we can separate our upbringing from what we are. I am a Mormon woman, I am not orthodox. It is the lens through which 183 I see the world. I hear the Tabernacle Choir and it still makes me weep. There are other things within the culture that absolutely enrage me, and for me it is sacred rage. But it's not just peculiar to Mormonism -- it's any patriarchy that I think stops, thwarts, or denies our creativity. So the question that I'm constantly asking myself is, What are we afraid of? I think it's important for us to follow that line of fear, because that is ultimately our line of growth. I feel that within the Mormon culture there is a tremendous amount of fear -- of women's voices, of questioning of authority, and ultimately of our own creativity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 London: Camus said that beauty can drive us to despair. Rilke also said something about that; he spoke of beauty as the "beginning of terror." What is it that is so terrifying about beauty -- especially the kind we find in nature? Williams: Scott, that is such a powerful point. You know, that Rilke quote -- "Beauty is the beginning of terror" -- I think about that a lot. I remember, Brooke and I were in Sagres in Portugal. In your travels, if you look at Portugal and Spain and Spain is the hair and Portugal is the face, Sagres is the chin. We were right there on this point and Brooke had gone in another direction and I was literally perched with the fishermen on this unbelievably steep precipice as they were throwing these lines of light down into the sea, hundreds of feet, and pulling up these fish for their families. It was so beautiful. I stayed there all day long. I had to fight to not leap off. It was not a suicidal response, it was not out of despair. It was out of this sheer desire to merge. That was terrifying to me, because I thought, "I am going to leap." I finally had to remove myself. And Brooke said, "Let's go on a walk tonight," and I just said, "I'm too afraid, because I have no control over the impulses I feel on the edge of that cliff." It was at that moment that I realized what Rilke was talking about: beauty as the beginning of terror. It's that realization that we are so small, and yet we are so large in our capacity to relate to the beauty of things. So, again, that paradox. My life meant so little at that moment. It was just much more important to be part of the sea. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 7 “We are frightened of engagement, of being fully present, because then we risk feeling pain and we feel grief, the grief inherent in life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 319 He is unafraid of his anger. His views can be militant and compassionate at once. Author of A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe, he unravels hope, asks us to liberate ourselves from these expectations. The students are completely riveted. Some are uncomfortable. "If you want to keep someone active, give them love, not hope...." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, FEAR 184 FEELING, PASSION, EMOTION, DESIRE …. Red “The redrock desert of southern Utah teaches me over and over again: red endures. Let it not be my rage or anger that endures, but a passion for the bloodroot country of my burning soul that survives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 138 “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “The flicker flies. A fire burns. Loves is as varied as the spectrum red. Break my heart with the desert’s silence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 “What I fear and desire most in this world is passion. I fear it because it promises to be spontaneous, out of my control, unnamed, beyond my reasonable self. I desire it because passion has color, like the landscape before me. It is not pale. It is not neutral. It reveals the backside of the heart.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 140 “It is our nature to be aroused—not once, but again and again. Where do we find the strength not to be pulled apart by our passions? How do we inhabit the canyons inside a divided heart? One body. Two bodies. Three.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Fire,” Red, 208 Unspoken Hunger “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “D. H. Lawrence writes, ‘In every living thing there is a desire for love, for the relationship of unison with the rest of things.’ I think of my own stream of desires, how cautious I have become with love. It is a vulnerable enterprise to feel deeply and I may not survive my affections. Andre Breton says, ‘Hardly anyone dares to face with open eyes the great delights of love.’” 185 --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “If I choose not to become attached to nouns – a person, place, or thing – then when I refuse an intimate’s love or hoard my spirit, when a known landscape is bought, sold, and developed, chained or grazed to a stubble, or a hawk is shot and hung by its feet on a barbed-wire fence, my heart cannot be broken because I never risked giving it away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63-64 “But what kind of impoverishment is this to withhold emotion, to restrain our passionate nature in the face of a generous life just to appease our fears? A man or woman whose mind reins in the heart when the body sings desperately for connection can only expect more isolation and greater ecological disease. Our lack of intimacy with each other is in direct proportion to our lack of intimacy with the land. We have taken our love inside and abandoned the wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 “Eight hundred acres of wetlands. It is nothing. It is everything. We are a tribe of fractured individuals who can now only celebrate remnants or wildness. One red-tailed hawk. Two great blue herons. Wildlands and wildlives’ oppression lies in our desire to control and our desire to control has robbed us of feeling. Our rib cages have been broken and our hearts cut out. The knives of our priests are bloody. We, the people. Our own hands are bloody.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 Open Space of Democracy To engage in responsive citizenship, we must become citizens who respond. Passionately. This is how we can make a difference. This is how we can serve society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Question. Stand. Speak. Act. Make us uncomfortable. Make us think. Make us feel. Keep us free. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 23 I have always held the image of our founding fathers close to my heart, how they dared to disagree passionately with one another, yet remained open to what each had to say, some even changing their minds, as they forged our Constitution. This is the bedrock of our evolving republic… --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 "I am testifying as an emotional woman," I can still remember her saying, "and I would like to ask you, gentlemen, what's wrong with emotion?" --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a We are a people addicted to speed and superficiality, and a nation that prides itself on moral superiority. But our folly lies in not seeing what we base our superiority on. Wealth and freedom? What is wealth if we cannot share it? What is freedom if we cannot offer it 186 as a vision of compassion and restraint, rather than force and aggression? Without an acknowledgement of complexity in a society of sound bites, we will not find the true source of our anger or an authentic passion that will propel us forward to the place of personal engagement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b We have missed a rich opportunity for compassionate understanding and empathy. Censorship betrays the students' intelligence, individual power of discernment, and their own passionate exploration of ideas as they prepare to vote. I believe your action has stopped the dialogue around Convocation at a time when we need it most. Consequently, the student body of Florida Gulf Coast University is being robbed of the experience of emancipatory education, the gift of being able to participate in critical thinking, meaningful dialogue and debate, the very process inherent in an open society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin Together, the women of the Green Belt Movement literally gathered seeds in the folds of their skirts and planted them in their villages. They watered them, nurtured them, and when they were tall enough to transplant, they took them to the elementary schools where the children became the caretakers of trees. Thousands of schools have responded. Millions of children have participated. Green Belt forests were planted, while educating the next generation about the perils of deforestation. She is a beacon of passionate engagement in the name of environmental justice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Salt Lake City, UT Interviews If we are at all sensitive to the life around us, to one another's pains and joys, to the beauty and fragility of the Earth, it is all about being broken open, allowing ourselves to step out from our hardened veneers and expose our core, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in our emotional response to the world. And how can we not respond? This is what I mean by being "broken open." To engage. To participate. To love. Any one of these actions of the heart will lead to a personal transformation that bears collective gifts. I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 She lists changes in the West. “all these lands are at risk . . . and that’s one of the things that fuels my work as a writer. Not so much as a polemic, I hope, but writing out of a sense of loss, a sense of grief and a sense of joy, because I think passion encompasses that full 187 spectrum of joy and sorrow. That passion creates engagement. And I think that all we can ask as writers if for engagement in our life and on the page.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Siporin Interview, WAL, 101 “Our culture has chosen to define erotic in very narrow terms, terms that largely describe pornography or voyeurism, the opposite of a relationship that asks for reciprocity. One of the things I was interested in with Desert Quartet was to explore the use of language in its pure sense, to use the word ‘erotic’ to intensify, to expand our view of Eros, to literally be in relationship on the page. When we’re in relation, whether it is with a human being, with an animal, or with the desert, I think there is an exchange of the erotic impulse. We are engaged, we are vulnerable, we are both giving and receiving, we are fully present in that moment, and we are able to heighten our capacity for passion which I think is the full range of emotion, both the joy and sorrow that one feels when in wild country. To speak about Eros in a particular landscape is to acknowledge our capacity to love Other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 3-4 “We are frightened of engagement, of being fully present, because then we risk feeling pain and we feel grief, the grief inherent in life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 319 FEELING, PASSION, EMOTION 188 FEMALE, WOMEN Red The story “The Bowl.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Bowl,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 32-36 The story “A Woman’s Dance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 52ff “Slowly she raised her body like a lizard. . . . Her hands, like serpents, encouraged primal sounds as she arched forward and back with the grasses. She was the wind that inspired change. They were a tribe creating a landscape where lines between the real and imagined were thinly drawn.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 53-54 “Her turns widened with each rotation until she stopped, perfectly balanced. The woman stepped outside the circle and kissed the palms of her hands and placed them on the earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 54 “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 Refuge “We spoke of rage. Of women and landscape. How our bodies and the body of the earth have been mined.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 10 “’Many men have forgotten what they are connected to,’ My friend added. “Subjugation of women and nature may be a loss of intimacy within themselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 10 “What is it about a relationship of a mother that can heal or hurt us? Her womb is the first landscape we inhabit. It is here we learn to respond—to move, to listen, to be nourished and grow. . . . Our maternal environment is perfectly safe—dark, warm, and wet. It is a residency inside the Feminine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 Her mother: “By being selfish a woman ultimately has more to give in the long run, because she has a self to give away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 51 “The heartbeats I felt in the womb—two heartbeats, at once, my mother’s and my own— are heartbeats of the land. All of life drums and beats, at once, sustaining a rhythm audible only to the spirit. I can drum my heartbeat back into the Earth, beating, hearts beating my hands on the Earth—like a ruffed grouse on a long, beating, hearts beating—like a bittern 189 in the marsh, beatinga, hearts beating. My hands on the Earth beating, heart beating. I drum back my return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 85 I want to see the lake as Woman, as myself, in her refusal to be tamed. The State of Utah may try to dike her, divert her waters, build roads across her shores, but ultimately, it won’t matter. She will survive us. I recognize her as a wilderness, raw and self-defined. Great Salt Lake strips me of contrivances and conditioning, saying, “I am not what you see. Question me. Stand by your own impressions.” We are taught not to trust our own experiences. Great Salt Lake teaches me experience is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 92 There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 “Today, I feel stronger, learning to live within the natural cycles of a day and to not expect so much from myself. As women, we hold the moon in our bellies. It is too much to ask to operate on full-moon energy three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I am in a crescent phase. And the energy we expend emotionally belongs to the hidden side of the moon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 “But after midnight, silence. The depth and stillness of Great Salt Lake comes over the wetlands like a mother’s calming hand. Morning approaches slowly, until each voice in the marsh awakens.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “I laid my head on her lap and closed my eyes. I could not tell if it was my mother’s fingers combing through my hair or the wind.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 156 In Mormon religion, formal blessings of healing are given by men through the Priesthood of God. women have no outward authority. But within the secrecy of sisterhood we have always bestowed benisons upon our families. Mother sits up. I lay my hands upon her head and in the privacy of women, we pray. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 158 “One night, a full moon watched over me like a mother.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 189 We are far too conciliatory. If we as Mormon women believe in God the Father and in his son, Jesus Christ, it is only logical that a Mother-in-Heaven balances the sacred triangle. I believe the Holy Ghost is female, although she has remained hidden, invisible, 190 deprived of a body, she is the spirit that seeps into our hearts and directs us to the well. The ‘still, small voice’ I was taught to listen to as a child was ‘the gift of the Holy Ghost.’ Today I choose to recognize this presence as holy intuition, the gift of the Mother. My prayers no longer bear the ‘proper’ masculine salutation. I include both Father and Mother in Heaven. If we could introduce the Motherbody as a spiritual counterpoint to the Godhead, perhaps our inspiration and devotion would no longer be directed to the stars, but our worship could return to the Earth. My physical mother is gone. My spiritual mother remains. I am a woman rewriting my genealogy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 241 “Mothers. Daughters. Granddaughters. The myth of Demeter and Persephone lives through us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 261 Terry Tempest Williams to Mimi: “The hollow eggs translated into hollow wombs. The Earth is not well and neither are we. I saw the health of the planet as our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 262-263 “One night, I dreamed women from all over the world circled a blazing fire in the desert. They spoke of change, how they hold the moon in their bellies and wax and wane with its phases. They mocked the presumption of even-tempered beings and made promises that they would never fear the witch inside themselves. The women danced wildly as sparks broke away from the flames and entered the night sky as stars.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “The women danced and drummed and sang for weeks, preparing themselves for what was to come. They would reclaim the desert for the sake of their children, for the sake of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “A contract had been made and broken between human beings and the land. A new contract was being drawn by the women, who understood the fate of the earth as their own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 The women invade the town, despite being pregnant. They were arrested. When asked why they came and who they were, they replied, “We are mothers and we have come to reclaim the desert for our children.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 I crossed the line at the Nevada Test Site and was arrested with nine other Utahns for trespassing on military lands. They are still conducting nuclear tests in the desert. Ours was an act of civil disobedience. But as I walked toward the town of Mercury, it was more than a gesture of peace. It was a gesture on behalf of the Clan of One-Breasted Women. As one officer cinched the handcuffs around my wrists, another frisked my body. She found a pen and a pad of paper tucked inside my left boot. “And these?” she asked sternly. “Weapons,” I replied. 191 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 “The officials thought it was a cruel joke to leave us stranded in the desert with no way to get home. What they didn’t realize was that we were home, soul-centered and strong, women who recognized the sweet smell of sage as fuel for our spirits.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 290 Unspoken Hunger O’Keefe: “she was a woman painter among men. Although she resisted the call of gender separation and in many ways embodied an androgynous soul, she was not without political savvy and humor on the subject. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 20 “Undressing the Bear.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 51 ff “Rain began – female rain falling gently, softly, as a fine mist over the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 55 “Perhaps the fear of bears and the fear of women lies in our refusal to be tamed, the impulses we arouse and the forces we represent.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 > her motherhood Story “Stone Creek Woman”: all --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 67 Essay “The Wild Card,” all --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 133-141 Interviews TL: Ann Zwinger has said she doesn't go out into nature as a woman. Yet your gender seems to be a very important part of your work. Why? TTW: Each of us writes out of our own biases. I am a Mormon woman who grew up in the Great Basin and now lives in the Colorado Plateau. These are the lens of culture, gender, and geography that I see out of. Of course, we are all human beings, but it seems to me there is an honesty to state where it is we come from and how our perceptions have been shaped. The fun part, the difficult part, is then to shatter them and see the world from different points of view. 192 --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 London: How central is your Mormon faith to your identity as a writer -- has it had a big influence on your work and ideas? Williams: It's hard to answer because, again, I don't think we can separate our upbringing from what we are. I am a Mormon woman, I am not orthodox. It is the lens through which I see the world. I hear the Tabernacle Choir and it still makes me weep. There are other things within the culture that absolutely enrage me, and for me it is sacred rage. But it's not just peculiar to Mormonism -- it's any patriarchy that I think stops, thwarts, or denies our creativity. So the question that I'm constantly asking myself is, What are we afraid of? I think it's important for us to follow that line of fear, because that is ultimately our line of growth. I feel that within the Mormon culture there is a tremendous amount of fear -- of women's voices, of questioning of authority, and ultimately of our own creativity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 “At that point, I understood what I was really acknowledging—it wasn’t the scientific mind or the poetic mind, but the feminine mind that I wanted to embrace. That was the language that I wanted to liberate. I had a visual map I could now trust.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 9 She wrote Refuge “to remember my mother and grandmothers and what it was that we shared, and as a way of recalling how women conduct their lives in the midst of family, in the midst of illness, in the midst of death—in the midst of day-to-day living. I wrote Refuge to celebrate the correspondence between the landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, to explore the idea of how one finds refuge in change. And it is Refuge that gave me my voice as a woman.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122 “The language that women speak when no one is there to correct hem is the language of the heart, a kind to the land. Women’s language is like connective tissue, detailed and circuitous; it goes in and out. When two women speak, they can keep five strands of 193 conversation going at once. . . . the language of women knows no time. A women’s language is about meanderings, like a river. . . . It is a language without selfconsciousness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 123 “So I am interested, as a writer, in finding what the mother tongue is. I believe it has to do with structure, form, and style. I think it has to do with identifying relationships that break through the veneer of what is proper, what is expected. The language that women speak when nobody is there to correct them oftentimes can make people uncomfortable because it threatens to undermine the status quo. It’s what we know in our hearts that we don’t dare speak, . . . the sense of women and secrets.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 123 FEMALE, WOMEN 194 FIRE This is what our community is in need of now. Fire. Fire that wakes us up. Fire that transforms where we are. Fire to see our way through the dark. Fire as illumination. We witness from the front porches of our homes the exhilaration of pushing an idea over the edge until it ignites a community, and we can never look at Parriott Mesa again without remembering the way it was sold, the way a sign disappeared and reappeared in Arches National Park, the way the community bought the land back through the gift of anonymity, and the breathing space it now holds as the red rock cornerstone of Castle Valley. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b On this magical night, we watch in wonder and awe as young people climb, carrying wood on their backs, and lay down their burdens, striking the match, blowing on embers, fanning the flames with great faith and joy. Fire. Fire in freefall, over the cliff, reminding us all what is primal and fleeting. We cannot know what lies ahead. We may be unsure how to bring our prayers forward. But on this night in the desert, we celebrate this cascading river of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b FIRE 195 FREEDOM, LIBERTY ……… I realized that in American Letters we celebrate both language and landscape, that these words, stories, and poems can create an ethical stance toward life: Melville's Great Whale; Whitman's Leaves of Grass; Thoreau's Walden Pond; Emerson's "Oversoul" -- the natural world infused with divinity. I came to understand through an education in the humanities that knowledge is another form of democracy, the freedom of expression that leads to empathy. It begins with our questions... --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21a Abraham Lincoln warns: "What constitutes the bulwark of our own liberty and independence? It is not our crowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, our army and our navy. These are not our reliance against tyranny. All of these may be turned against us without making us weaker for the struggle. Our reliance is in the spirit which prized liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands everywhere. Destroy this spirit and you have planted the seeds of despotism at your own doors. Familiarize yourselves with the chains of bondage and you prepare your own limbs to wear them. Accustom to trample on the rights of others and you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 Thomas Jefferson said, "I believe in perilous liberty over quiet servitude." May we commit ourselves to "perilous liberty." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 This is the path of intellectual freedom and spiritual curiosity. Our insistence on democracy is based on our resistance to complacency. To be engaged. To participate. To create alternatives together. We may be wrong. We will make mistakes. But we can engage in spirited conversation, cherishing the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Question. Stand. Speak. Act. Make us uncomfortable. Make us think. Make us feel. Keep us free. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 23 It occurred to me, over the many weeks that it took me to respond to Senator Bennett's letter, that what mattered most to me was not what I was willing to die for, but what I was willing to give my life to. In war, death by belief is centered on principles both activated and extinguished in the drama of a random moment. Heroes are buried. A legacy of freedom is maintained through pain. Life by belief is centered on the day-to-day decisions we make that are largely unseen. One produces martyrs born out of violence. The other produces quiet citizens born out of personal commitments toward social change. Both dwell in the hallowed ground of sacrifice. 196 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 23 After much thought, what I would be willing to die for, and give my life to, is the freedom of speech. It is the open door to all other freedoms. We are a nation at war with ourselves. Until we can turn to one another and offer our sincere words as to why we feel the way we do with an honest commitment to hear what others have to say, we will continue to project our anger on the world in true, unconscious acts of terror. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 As the Brooks Range recedes behind us, I am mindful that Mardy is approaching 101 years of age. She has never shed her optimism for wild Alaska. I am half her age and my niece, Abby, is half of mine. We share her passion for this order of quiet freedom. America's wildlands are vulnerable and they will always be assailable as long as what we value in this nation is measured in monetary terms, not spiritual ones. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a I hear Walt Whitman’s voice once again. “The quality of Being . . . is the lesson of nature.” Raw, wild beauty is a deeply held American value. It is its own declaration of independence. Equality is experienced through humility. Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a-b We are a people addicted to speed and superficiality, and a nation that prides itself on moral superiority. But our folly lies in not seeing what we base our superiority on. Wealth and freedom? What is wealth if we cannot share it? What is freedom if we cannot offer it as a vision of compassion and restraint, rather than force and aggression? Without an acknowledgement of complexity in a society of sound bites, we will not find the true source of our anger or an authentic passion that will propel us forward to the place of personal engagement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b Are we ready for the next evolutionary leap—to recognize the restoration of democracy as the restoration of liberty and justice for all species, not just our own? To be in the service of something beyond ourselves—to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together—this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59a FREEDOM, LIBERTY 197 GENEROSITY, CHARITY ………….. I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a I am standing in the corner with my back to the wall. Never have I felt such dismay over the leadership and public policies of our nation. Never have I felt such determination and faith in our ability to change our country's current direction. How to reconcile these seemingly contradictory emotions in an election year when we appear to be anything but united states? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, It is time to ask, when will our national culture of self-interest stop cutting the bonds of community to shore up individual gain and instead begin to nourish communal life through acts of giving, not taking? It is time to acknowledge the violence rendered to our souls each time a mountaintop is removed to expose a coal vein in Appalachia or when a wetland is drained, dredged, and filled for a strip mall. And the time has come to demand an end to the wholesale dismissal of the sacredness of life in all its variety and forms, as we witness the repeated breaking of laws, and the relaxing of laws, in the sole name of growth and greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a We are a people addicted to speed and superficiality, and a nation that prides itself on moral superiority. But our folly lies in not seeing what we base our superiority on. Wealth and freedom? What is wealth if we cannot share it? What is freedom if we cannot offer it as a vision of compassion and restraint, rather than force and aggression? Without an acknowledgement of complexity in a society of sound bites, we will not find the true source of our anger or an authentic passion that will propel us forward to the place of personal engagement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b GENEROSITY, CHARITY 198 GRATITUDE …… We walk for several hours along the tundra shelf, talking very little. Such joy. How do we return home without breaking these threads that bind us to life? How do we return our gratitude for all we have seen? We stop and lie on our backs, side by side, watching the clouds. A deep and abiding stillness passes through us. Our hands clasp. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47b GRATITUDE 199 HEALING, HEAL Red “In time, from the rear of the pickup, came a slow, deliberate chant. Navajo words— gentle, deep meanderings of music born out of healing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Lion’s Eyes,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 30 “The Hopi Elders have told us, it is time for healing. A healing must begin within our communities, within ourselves, regarding our relationship to the Earth, Wild Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 71 Refuge Last night I dreamed I was walking along the shores of Great Salt Lake. I noticed a purple bird floating in the waters, the waves rocking it gently. I entered the lake and, with cupped hands, picked up the bird and returned it to shore. The purple bird turned gold, dropped its tail, and began digging a burrow in the white sand, where it retreated and sealed itself inside with salt. I walked away. It was dusk. The next day, I returned to the lake shore. A wooden door frame, freestanding, became an arch I had to walk through. Suddenly, it was transformed into Athene’s Temple. The bird was gone. I was left standing with my own memory. In the next segment of the dream I was in a doctor’s office. He said, “You have cancer in your blood and you have nine months to heal yourself.’ I awoke puzzled and frightened. Perhaps, I am telling this story in an attempt to heal myself, to confront what I do not know, to create a path for myself with the idea that “memory is the only way home.” I have been in retreat. This story is my return. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 > dated July 4, 1990 “The marsh reflected health as concentric circles rippled outward from a mallard feeing ‘bottoms up.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 20 “Kneeling next to my grandmother, Mimi, I felt her strength and the generational history of belief Mormon ritual holds. We can heal ourselves, I thought, and we can heal each other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 35 “What is it about a relationship of a mother that can heal or hurt us? Her womb is the first landscape we inhabit. It is here we learn to respond—to move, to listen, to be nourished and grow. . . . Our maternal environment is perfectly safe—dark, warm, and wet. It is a residency inside the Feminine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 “I want the walls down. Mother’s rage over our inability to face her illness has burned away my defenses. I am left with guilt, guilt I cannot tolerate because it has no courage. I hurt Mother though my own desire to be cured.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 76 200 In Mormon religion, formal blessings of healing are given by men through the Priesthood of God. women have no outward authority. But within the secrecy of sisterhood we have always bestowed benisons upon our families. Mother sits up. I lay my hands upon her head and in the privacy of women, we pray. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 158 “I feel like a potter trying to shape my life with the material at hand. But my creation is internal. My vessel is my body, where I hold a space for healing for those I love. Each day becomes a firing, a further refinement of the potter’s process.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 168 > see also 173 “The Brethren will be meeting in the holy chambers of the Temple, where we will enter your wife’s name among those to be healed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 197 “I cannot escape these flashbacks. Some haunt. Some heal.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 236 This is the secret den of my healing, where I come to whittle down my losses. I carve chevrons, the simple image of birds, on rabbit bones cleaned by eagles. And I sing without the embarrassment of being heard. The men in my family have migrated south for one year to lay pipe in southern Utah. My keening is for my family, fractured and displaced. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237-238 > note she say the men have “migrated” Terry Tempest Williams to Mimi: “The hollow eggs translated into hollow wombs. The Earth is not well and neither are we. I saw the health of the planet as our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 262-263 “The Mormon community we are part of also healed us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 295 Looking back, perhaps, these are the very ideas at the heart of Refuge and I didn’t even know it; I only knew what I saw in the rising Great Salt Lake, the displacement of birds, the displacement of our own family, the disorder and randomness of cancer, the healing grace of Earth. Transformation. The spiral. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 Unspoken Hunger “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or 201 feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “We stood strong and resolute as neighbors, friends, and family witnessed the release of a red-tailed hawk. Wounded, now healed, we caught a glimpse of our own wild nature soaring above willows.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “It is a story about healing and how we might live with hope.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Testimony,” Unspoken Hunger, 130 Interviews TL: When I heard about the theme of this year's Border Book Festival, Our Bodies / Our Earth, I immediately thought of your work, Terry. As much as anyone's, your writing seems to connect the human body with the more-than-human natural world. Why is this connection so important to you? TTW: How can we not align our bodies with the Earth? We are made of the same stuff, so to speak: water, minerals, our blood like a river flowing inside our veins. To imagine ourselves as something outside of the Earth, foreign, removed, separate, strikes me as one of the reasons our collective relationship to the natural world and other creatures has been severed. I believe our health and the health of the land are intrinsically tied. I've witnessed this as "hibakusha" (the Japanese word for 'explosion-affected people'), downwinders, and the predominance of cancer in our family due in large part, I believe, to the fallout in Utah from nuclear testing of the 1950's and 60's. To see ourselves as part of the Earth and its community, not apart from it as Robinson Jeffers writes, to me can be an act of humility and awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 1 Our lack of intimacy with the natural world is in direct correspondence with our lack of intimacy with each other. Our bodies, the body of the Earth -- there is no separation. When we cause harm to the natural world, we also cause harm to ourselves. The health of the planet is our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 To be in correspondence with the world around us -- to learn the names of things, to delight in all that is wild, even our own beating hearts, to embrace our sacred responsibilities toward the sustenance of life, to remember what we seem to have forgotten, that we are part of this beautiful, broken healing Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 “the Navajo culture sent me back home to my own. There are similarities, a strong family structure reinforced through generational storytelling, a keen belief in the power of healing, but there are also marked differences. I had to come to terms with the fact that in Mormon culture, or any Christian religion for that matter, we are taught that human beings as having dominion over the land. This is one of the things that has led to my own estrangement from orthodoxy. Most Indigenous People do not view their relationship toward the earth this way. They see themselves as a part of nature with a sense of kinship 202 extended to all forms of life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 LONDON: With all the talk about the ecological crisis we are facing now, environmental policies seem to be losing ground. How is it that such a big gap has developed between what we say we value on the one hand and what we legislate on the other? WILLIAMS: I feel we have to begin standing our ground in the places we love. I think that we have to demand that concern for the land, concern for the Earth, and this extension of community that we've been speaking of, is not marginal -- in the same way that women's rights are not marginal, in the same way that rights for children are not marginal. There is no separation between the health of human beings and the health of the land. It is all part of a compassionate view of the world. How we take that view and match it with what we see in Congress with the decimations of the Endangered Species Act, the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act, child care... I think it's an outrage. You and I have spoken about what we can do as citizens, what we can do as a responsive citizenry, and this is where we have to shatter our complacency and become "active souls," as Thoreau puts it, and be prepared to engage in aware -- that personal struggle between our grief and our sorrow. But I don't think we have any choice. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 10 “Our culture of consumerism tells us what we need, what we want, and what we deserve. It is the economics of entitlement. And I believe it is an illusion. I believe our needs are more basic: home; family; community; health; the health of the land which includes all life forms, plants, animals, and human beings. We need open country, open spaces, a wildness that offers us deliverance from inauthentic lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 “I am interested in taboos, because I believe that’s where the power of our culture lies. I love taking off their masks so we can begin to face the world openly. I believe that will be our healing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview “Our needs as human beings are really very simple—to love and be loved, a sense of connection and compassion, a desire to be heard. Health. Family. Home. Once again the dance, that sharing of breath, that merging with something larger than ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 317 “I’ve been thinking about what it means to bear witness. The past ten years I’ve been bearing witness to death, bearing witness to women I love, and bearing witness to the testing going on in the Nevada desert. . . . And I’ve been bearing witness to beauty, beauty that strikes a chord so deep you can’t stop the tears flowing. . . . Bearing witness to both the beauty and the pain of our world is a task I want to be part of. As a writer, this is my work. By bearing witness, the story that is told can provide a healing ground. Through the 203 art of language, the art of story, alchemy can occur. And if we choose to turn our backs, we’ve walked away from what it means to be human.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320-321 “I write about what I know, and I am inspired by what I don’t know – which is enormous. I believe in the longing for unity, that we may in fact be asking for a new way to think about science in reality are asking for a new way to think about ourselves, that this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 204 HEART …. Open Space of Democracy How we choose to support a living democracy will determine whether it will survive as the beating heart of a republic or merely be preserved as a withered artifact of a cold and ruthless empire. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Experience opens us, creates a chasm in our heart, an expansion in our lungs, allowing us to pull in fresh air to all that was stagnant. We breathe deeply and remember fear for what it is -- a resistance to the unknown. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 38B It is easy to believe we the people have no say; that the powers in Washington will roll over our local concerns with their corporate energy ties and thumper trucks. It is easy to believe that the American will is only focused on how to get rich, how to be entertained, and how to distract itself from the hard choices we have before us as a nation. I refuse to believe this. The only space I see truly capable of being closed is not the land or our civil liberties but our own hearts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a The heart embodies faith because it leads us to charity. It is the muscle behind hope that brings confidence to those who despair. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a {On Whitman and Lincoln} Both men were purveyors of a spiritual democracy borne out of love and loss. Both men articulated the wisdom of their hearts borne out of direct engagement. . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b The Open Space of Democracy is a call for conscious dialogue in times of divisive political rhetoric that has no heart.” 205 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” a letter to President Merwin HEART 206 HIDDEN, HIDE Red “Perfect Kiva—round like Earth. Hidden in the earth, the six sat.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Perfect Kiva,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 49 “Coyote is always nearby but remains hidden. He is an ally because he cares enough to stay wary. He teaches us how to survive.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 24 Refuge “I dreamed of water and cattails and all that is hidden.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 20 There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 “Today, I feel stronger, learning to live within the natural cycles of a day and to not expect so much from myself. As women, we hold the moon in our bellies. It is too much to ask to operate on full-moon energy three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I am in a crescent phase. And the energy we expend emotionally belongs to the hidden side of the moon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 “It is one of those curious days when time and season are out of focus, when what you know I hidden behind the weather.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 141 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide, and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “There is a holy place in the salt desert, where egrets hover like angels. It is a cave near the lake where water bubbles up from inside the earth. I am hidden and saved from the outside world. Leaning against the back wall of the cave, the curve of the rock supports the curve of my spine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 207 HOME Red “In Utah, there was a man with a vision. . . . . He loved the land he saw before him, a landscape so vast, pristine, and virginal, that he recognized it as the kingdom of God, a place for saints with a desire for home. The desert country of the Great Basin and Colorado Plateau was an answer to prayers of spiritual sovereignty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 74 “I am aware that my own house, the home we live in and love, devoured this land. . . . My rational self understands the inevitability of growth and my own role inside it. But what I find harder and harder to abide is not growth, but the growth of greed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 117 When I think of movement and migration, how one finds and creates home, I think of the promise of parrots, the small gestures of faith carried by those who choose to inhabit the Desert West. So little stays in place. When the soul does come to rest, it is usually through devotion. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 132 Refuge Last night I dreamed I was walking along the shores of Great Salt Lake. I noticed a purple bird floating in the waters, the waves rocking it gently. I entered the lake and, with cupped hands, picked up the bird and returned it to shore. The purple bird turned gold, dropped its tail, and began digging a burrow in the white sand, where it retreated and sealed itself inside with salt. I walked away. It was dusk. The next day, I returned to the lake shore. A wooden door frame, freestanding, became an arch I had to walk through. Suddenly, it was transformed into Athene’s Temple. The bird was gone. I was left standing with my own memory. In the next segment of the dream I was in a doctor’s office. He said, “You have cancer in your blood and you have nine months to heal yourself.’ I awoke puzzled and frightened. Perhaps, I am telling this story in an attempt to heal myself, to confront what I do not know, to create a path for myself with the idea that “memory is the only way home.” I have been in retreat. This story is my return. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 > dated July 4, 1990 I lay out these ten sections on the flat granite rocks I am sitting on. The sun threatens to dry them. But I wait for the birds. Within minutes, Clark’s nutcrackers and gray jays join me. I suck on oranges as the mountains begin to work on me. This is why I always return. This is why I can always go home. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 160 (Mother dies) “These days at home have been a meditation as I have scoured sinks and tubs, picked up week-worn clothes, and vacuumed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 233 208 “The officials thought it was a cruel joke to leave us stranded in the desert with no way to get home. What they didn’t realize was that we were home, soul-centered and strong, women who recognized the sweet smell of sage as fuel for our spirits.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 290 Unspoken Hunger “Home is the range of one’s instincts.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 9 “Each of us harbors a homeland, a landscape we naturally comprehend. By understanding the dependability of place, we can anchor ourselves as trees.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 12 “O’Keefe’s watercolor Canyon with Crows (1917) creates a heartfelt wash of ‘her spiritual home,’ a country that elicits participation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 23 Interviews I think the whole idea of home is central to who we are as human beings. What I can tell you about my home is that I live just outside of Salt Lake City in a place called Emigration Canyon. It's on the Mormon trail. When Brigham Young came through with the early Mormon pioneers in 1847 and said "This is the place," that's the view we see every morning when we leave the Canyon and enter the Salt Lake Valley. So I feel deeply connected, not only because of my Mormon roots, which are five or six generations, but because of where we live. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not mindful of the spiritual sovereignty that was sought by my people in coming to Utah. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 I think it's what we're used to. Home is where we have a history. So when I'm standing in the middle of the salt flats, where you swear that the pupils of your eyes have turned white because of the searing heat that is rising from the desert, I think of my childhood, I think of my mother, my father, my grandparents; I think of the history that we hold there and it is beautiful to me. But it is both a blessing and a burden to be rooted in place. It's recognizing the pattern of things, almost feeling a place before you even see it. In Southern Utah, on the Colorado plateau where canyon walls rise upward like praying hands, that is a holy place to me. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 I really believe that to stay home, to learn the names of things, to realize who we live among... The notion that we can extend our sense of community, our idea of community, to include all life forms -- plants, animals, rocks, rivers and human beings -- then I believe a politics of place emerges where we are deeply accountable to our communities, to our neighborhoods, to our home. Otherwise, who is there to chart the changes? If we are not home, if we are not rooted deeply in place, making that commitment to dig in and stay put ... if we don't know the names of things, if don't know pronghorn antelope, if we don't know blacktail jackrabbit, if we don't know sage, pinyon, juniper, then I think we are living a life without specificity, and then our lives become abstractions. Then we enter a place of true desolation. I remember a phone call from a friend of mine who lives along the MacKenzie River. She said, "This is the first year in twenty that the chinook salmon have 209 not returned." This woman knows the names of things. This woman is committed to a place. And she sounded the alarm. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 I am deeply rooted in Utah's Salt Lake Valley. My family, Mormon, has been in the Great Basin for six generations. My ancestors' bones are buried here, and mine will be too. I grew up on the edge of Salt Lake, on the east bench of the Wasatch Mountains--they were my backyard; there was no separation between my home and the foothills. The scrub oak and sage influenced me most. Rattlesnakes were common, mountain lions and deer, too. And the birds were sheer pleasure: black-capped chickadees, blue-gray gnatcatchers, scrub jays, and California quail. My grandmother gave me a copy of Peterson's Field Guide to Western Birds when I was five years old. I pored over those color plates and dreamed about the birds long before I saw them. And always, to the west, there was the Great Salt Lake, shimmering like a mirage. --Terry Tempest Williams, Ives Interview, 1 210 HOPE …….. Open Space of Democracy Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b I am standing in the corner with my back to the wall. Never have I felt such dismay over the leadership and public policies of our nation. Never have I felt such determination and faith in our ability to change our country's current direction. How to reconcile these seemingly contradictory emotions in an election year when we appear to be anything but united states? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, The heart embodies faith because it leads us to charity. It is the muscle behind hope that brings confidence to those who despair. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government," said Edward Abbey. To not be engaged in the democratic process, to sit back and let others do the work for us, is to fall prey to bitterness and cynicism. It is the passivity of cynicism that has broken the back of our collective outrage. We succumb to our own depression believing there is nothing we can do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a Are we ready for the next evolutionary leap—to recognize the restoration of democracy as the restoration of liberty and justice for all species, not just our own? To be in the service of something beyond ourselves—to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together—this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59a There are miracles in the world. Dawn. Light cresting over the Rocky Mountains. Convergances in our lives that we do not plan, could not have imagined. Synchronous moments when we wonder what is real, what is true, what do we fight for and what do we simply accept. Where is there room for hope and when does hope collapse into denial? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, Interviews TL: In your line of work it is easy, I would think, to get depressed, to focus on all that has been lost. What gives you hope? TTW: You ask what gives me hope. Two words: forgiveness and restoration. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 6 211 “I don’t think about hope much anymore. But I do think about imagination. That’s where we have the capacity to shift.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320 He is unafraid of his anger. His views can be militant and compassionate at once. Author of A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe, he unravels hope, asks us to liberate ourselves from these expectations. The students are completely riveted. Some are uncomfortable. "If you want to keep someone active, give them love, not hope...." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, "Hope is acknowledging you have no agency in the matter." He gives the example, "If we hope the salmon survive" we acknowledge it is beyond our agency. He says instead of "simply hoping," we can remove dams on rivers that salmon inhabit, work for better forest policies, uphold the Endangered Species Act. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, HOPE 212 HUMILITY … “For all of Austin’s friends and critics who found her personally arrogant, erratic, and too bold in her behavior, an abiding and enduring compassion and humility comes through the rigors of a disciplined eye toward nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mary Austin’s Ghost,” Red, 170-171 Essay: “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 174ff There are those within the academy who have recently criticized ‘the wilderness idea’ as a holdover from our colonial past, a remnant of Calvinist tradition that separates human beings from the natural world and ignores concerns of indigenous people. They suggest that wilderness advocates are deceiving themselves, that they are merely holding on to a piece of America’s past, that they are devoted to an illusory and ‘static past,’ that they are apt to ‘adopt too high a standard for what counts as ‘natural.”’ These scholars see themselves as one who ‘have inherited the wilderness idea’ and are responding as ‘EuroAmerican men’ within a ‘cultural legacy . . . patriarchal Western civilization in its current postcolonial, globally hegemonic form.’ I hardly know what that means. If wilderness is a ‘human construct,’ how do we take it out of the abstract, and into the real? How do we begin to extend our notion of community to include all life-forms so that these political boundaries will no longer be necessary? How can that which nurtures evolution, synonymous with adaptation and change, be considered static? Whom do we trust in matters of compassion and reverence for life? I believe that consideration of wilderness as an idea and wilderness as a place must begin with conscience. I come back to Leopold’s notion of ‘intellectual humility,’ We are not alone on this planet, even though our behavior at times suggests otherwise. Our minds are meaningless in the face of one perfect avalanche or flash flood or forest fire. Our desires are put to rest when we surrender to a grizzly bear, a rattlesnake, or goshawk defending its nest. To step aside is an act of submission, to turn back an act of admission, that other beings can and will take precedence when we meet them on their own wild terms. The manic pace of our modern lives can be brought into balance by simply giving in to the silence of the desert, the pounding of a Pacific surf, the darkness and brilliance of a night sky far away from a city. Wilderness is a place of humility. Humility is a place of wilderness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 179-181 “I believe we need wilderness in order to be more complete human beings, to not be fearful of the animals that we are . . . an animal who understands a sense of humility when watching a grizzly overturn a stump with its front paw to forage for grubs . . . an animal who weeps over the sheer beauty of migrating cranes . . . an animal who has not forgotten what it means to pray before the unfurled blossom of the sacred datura, remembering the source of all true visions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187 213 Quote from another “When a boy is beaten for an inappropriate act, the boy falls to the ground and clutches a handful of grass. His elder takes this gesture as a sign of humility.” Then Terry Tempest Williams: “I kneel in the grasses and hold tight.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 12 Open Space of Democracy Humility is the capacity to see. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a I hear Walt Whitman’s voice once again. “The quality of Being . . . is the lesson of nature.” Raw, wild beauty is a deeply held American value. It is its own declaration of independence. Equality is experienced through humility. Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a-b We are in need of a reflective activism born out of humility, not arrogance. Reflection, with deep time spent in the consideration of others, opens the door to becoming a compassionate participant in the world. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58b If we are at all sensitive to the life around us, to one another's pains and joys, to the beauty and fragility of the Earth, it is all about being broken open, allowing ourselves to step out from our hardened veneers and expose our core, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in our emotional response to the world. And how can we not respond? This is what I mean by being "broken open." To engage. To participate. To love. Any one of these actions of the heart will lead to a personal transformation that bears collective gifts. I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 London: You once said that one needs a sense of humor to live in Salt Lake City. 214 Williams: That's very true, and increasingly so given the political climate that we see in this country, and especially in Utah. I also think that's true in the American West in general. You can't take yourself seriously very long because you are immediately confronted with big weather, big country, and there is a sense of humility that rises out of the landscape. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 215 IDEAL Partially analyzed into themes Red “Progress is being made within rural communities as watershed councils and local land trusts are being formed, enlisting creative partnerships in the name of land stewardship.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 14 And there are those who are saying, very thoughtfully, that it will only be by eliminating our desire to set land aside as ‘wilderness’ that we can begin to regard all landscapes with respect an dignity. I understand these points of discussion. In an ideal world, a world we might well inhabit one day, we may not need to ‘designate’ wilderness, so evolved will be our collective land ethic, our compassion for all manner of life, so responsive and whole. . . . I pray there will indeed come a time, when our lives regarding the domestic and the wild will be seamless. But we are not there yet. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 18 “Almost 120 years later, these arid lands are still inspiring a revolution of thought. Public lands within the Colorado Plateau possess spiritual values that cannot be measured in economic terms. They dare us to think in geologic terms. . . . We are absorbed into a rich, vibrant narrative of vertical time and horizontal space.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70 We are not separate. We belong to a much larger community than we know. We are here because of love. --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 71 “We must ask ourselves as Americans, ‘Can we really survive the worship of our own destructiveness?’ We do not exist in isolation. Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life-forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 76 “Eroticism, being in relation, calls the inner life into play. No longer numb, we feel the magnetic pull in our bodies toward something stronger, more vital than simply ourselves. Arousal become a dance with longing. We form a secret partnership with possibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 106 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112 Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. 216 Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 There is the same hope and promise here inside the Mayberry Preserve. With the Colorado River on its northern boundary, Fisher Towers and the Negro Bill Wilderness Study Areas east and west of the orchard and the town of Castle Valley directly to the south, it is a place where human history and natural history converge. I believe we are capable of creating a world that can accommodate the tamed and untamed life, that we can in fact see ourselves as part of a larger biological community, that it is not at odds with a sense of deep democracy but compatible with it. Call it a new patriotism: red rocks, white clouds, blue sky. Is not the wild imagination of open spaces simply an expansion of our pledge of allegiance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” “Progress is being made within rural communities as watershed councils and local land trusts are being formed, enlisting creative partnerships in the name of land stewardship.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 14 And there are those who are saying, very thoughtfully, that it will only be by eliminating our desire to set land aside as ‘wilderness’ that we can begin to regard all landscapes with respect an dignity. I understand these points of discussion. In an ideal world, a world we might well inhabit one day, we may not need to ‘designate’ wilderness, so evolved will be our collective land ethic, our compassion for all manner of life, so responsive and whole. . . . I pray there will indeed come a time, when our lives regarding the domestic and the wild will be seamless. But we are not there yet. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 18 > Wendell Berry ideal? “We must ask ourselves as Americans, ‘Can we really survive the worship of our own destructiveness?’ We do not exist in isolation. Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life-forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 76 Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. 217 Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 For me, the most important value is independent thought, the freedom to choose a creative path. That’s how I have been able to survive within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 126 Mormonism and the ideal It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within 218 their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “History has shown us that exclusivity in the name of empire building eventually fails. Fear of discord undermines creativity. And creativity lies at the heart of adaptive evolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 “The message was clear, we could choose how we wanted to live our lives, we were strong family, and we could endure whatever came our way. We had the intellectual and spiritual freedom to move within the structure. Although an orthodox Mormon may think free agency is about honoring obedience and finding freedom within that obedience, spiritual laws and principles, I’ve never honored that belief. For me, the most important value is independent thought, the freedom to choose a creative path. That’s how I have been able to survive within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 126 Healing “We stood strong and resolute as neighbors, friends, and family witnessed the release of a red-tailed hawk. Wounded, now healed, we caught a glimpse of our own wild nature soaring above willows.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “I am interested in taboos, because I believe that’s where the power of our culture lies. I love taking off their masks so we can begin to face the world openly. I believe that will be our healing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview Naked the “searing simplicity of form. You cannot help but be undone by its sensibility and light, nothing extra. Before the stillness of sandstone cliffs, you stand still, equally bare.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “By undressing, exposing, and embracing the bear, we undress, expose, and embrace our authentic selves. Stripped free from society’s oughts and shoulds, we emerge as emancipated beings. The bear is free to roam.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 219 “It is time for us to take off our masks, to step out from behind our personas – whatever they might be: educators, activists, biologists, geologists, writers, farmers, ranchers, and bureaucrats—and admit we are lovers, engaged in an erotics of place. Loving the land. Honoring its mysteries. Acknowledging, embracing the spirit of place—there is nothing more legitimate and there is nothing more true. --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 84 I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 Present I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 Wild Feeling & body & erotics Family & community Ethic 220 IDEAL 221 IMAGINATION Red “This is Coyote’s country—a landscape of the imagination, where nothing is as it appears.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 “I understand the power of swirling gases as the power and potency of the imagination that circles us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” 120 Let me tease another word from the heart of a nation: sacrifice. Not to bear children may be its own form of sacrifice. How do I explain my love of children, yet our decision not to give birth to a child? Perhaps it is about sharing. I recall watching my niece, Diane, nine years old, on her stomach, eye to eye with a lizard; neither moved while contemplating the other. In the sweetness of that moment, I felt the curvature of my heart become the curvature of Earth, the circle of family complete. Diane bears the name of my mother and wears my DNA as closely as my daughter would. Must the act of birth be seen only as a replacement for ourselves? Can we not also conceive of birth as an act of the imagination, giving body to a new way of seeing? Do children need to be our own to be loved as our own? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158-159 Refuge The Bird Refuge has remained a constant. It is a landscape so familiar to me, there have been times I have felt a species long before I saw it. The long-billed curlews that foraged the grasslands seven miles outside the Refuge were trustworthy. I can count on them year after year. And when six whimbrels joined them—whimbrel entered my mind as an idea. Before I ever saw them mingling with curlews, I recognized them as a new thought in familiar country. The birds and I share a natural history. It is a matter of rootedness, of living inside a place for so long that the mind and imagination fuse. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 The pulse of the Great Salt Lake, surging along Antelope Island’s shores, becomes the force wearing against my mother’s body And when I watch flocks of phalaropes wing their way toward quiet bays on the island, I recall watching Mother sleep, imagining the dreams that were encircling her, wondering what she knows that I must learn for myself. The light changes, Antelope Island is blue. Mother awakened and I looked away. Antelope Island is no longer accessible to me. It is my mother’s body floating in uncertainty. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 64 “In the severity of a salt desert, I am brought down to my knees by its beauty. My imagination is fired. My heart opens and my skin burns in the passion of these moments. I will have not other gods before me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, 222 reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ When I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 “Death is no longer what I imagined it to be. Death is earthy like birth, like sex, full of smells and sounds and bodily fluids. It is a confluence of evanescence and flesh.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 219 “The unknown Utah that some see as a home for used razor blades, toxins, and biological warfare, is a landscape of the imagination, a secret we tell to those who will keep it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 Open Space of Democracy Imagination and ingenuity are our finest traits. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b In the open space of democracy, we are listening -- ears alert -- we are watching -- eyes open -- registering the patterns and possibilities for engagement. Some acts are private; some are public. Our oscillations between local, national, and global gestures map the full range of our movement. Our strength lies in our imagination, and paying attention to what sustains life, rather than what destroys it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a Social change takes time. Communities are built on the practice of patience and imagination -- the belief that we are here for the duration and will take care of our relations in times of both drought and abundance. These are the blood and flesh gestures of commitment. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b If we cannot begin to embrace democracy as a way of life: the right to be educated, to think, discuss, dissent, create, and act, acting in imaginative and revolutionary ways . . . . if we fail to see the necessity of each of us to participate in the formation of an ethical life . . . if we cannot bring a sense of equity and respect into our homes, our marriages, our schools, and our churches, alongside our local, state, and federal governments, then democracy simply becomes, as Dewey suggests, “a form of idolatry,” as we descend into the basement of nationalism. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a IMAGINATION 223 INTERNAL – EXTERNAL “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “I think about a night of lovemaking with the man I live with, how it is that a body so known and familiar can still take my breath all the way down, then rise and fall, the river that flows through me, through him, this river, the Colorado River keeps moving, beckoning us to do the same, nothing stagnant, not today, not ever, as my mind moves as the river moves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 “Wind. Say the word and a small breeze blows out of your mouth. Say the word again in front of a lit match and the flame will disappear. Wind. Wind. Wind.” ---Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 151 “It is humbling living here, exposed to the elements of wind, water, and heat. There is no protection in the desert. We are vulnerable. It is a landscape of extremes. I find myself mirroring them: hot, cold, wet, dry. The challenge is to live in the midst of so much beauty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 151 As a woman of forty-four years, I will not bear children. My husband and I will not be parents. We have chosen to define family in another way. I look across the sweep of slickrock stretching in all directions, the rise and fall of such arid terrain. A jackrabbit blots down the wash. Pinon jays flock and bank behind cluster of junipers. The tracks of coyote are everywhere. Would you believe me when I tell you this is family, kinship with the desert, the breadth of my relations coursing through a wider community, the shock of recognition which each scarlet gilia, the smell of rain. And this is enough for me, more than enough. I trace my genealogy back to the land. Human and wild, I can see myself whole, not isolated but integrated in time and place. . . . Is not the tissue of family always a movement between harmony and distance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 157 “The wide-open vistas that sustain our souls, the depth of silence that pushes us toward sanity, return us to a kind of equilibrium. We stand steady on Earth. The external space I see is the internal space I feel.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 Let me tease another word from the heart of a nation: sacrifice. Not to bear children may be its own form of sacrifice. How do I explain my love of children, yet our decision not to give birth to a child? Perhaps it is about sharing. I recall watching my niece, Diane, 224 nine years old, on her stomach, eye to eye with a lizard; neither moved while contemplating the other. In the sweetness of that moment, I felt the curvature of my heart become the curvature of Earth, the circle of family complete. Diane bears the name of my mother and wears my DNA as closely as my daughter would. Must the act of birth be seen only as a replacement for ourselves? Can we not also conceive of birth as an act of the imagination, giving body to a new way of seeing? Do children need to be our own to be loved as our own? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158-159 225 INTERRELATEDNESS “After the spiral was complete, they walked around it. . . . The black center stone became Black Widow’s domain. They imagined her underneath, spinning the web, binding them together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Stone Spiral,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, “To be in relation to everything around us, above us, below us, earth, sky, bones, blood, flesh, is to see the world whole, even holy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 As a woman of forty-four years, I will not bear children. My husband and I will not be parents. We have chosen to define family in another way. I look across the sweep of slickrock stretching in all directions, the rise and fall of such arid terrain. A jackrabbit blots down the wash. Pinon jays flock and bank behind cluster of junipers. The tracks of coyote are everywhere. Would you believe me when I tell you this is family, kinship with the desert, the breadth of my relations coursing through a wider community, the shock of recognition which each scarlet gilia, the smell of rain. And this is enough for me, more than enough. I trace my genealogy back to the land. Human and wild, I can see myself whole, not isolated but integrated in time and place. . . . Is not the tissue of family always a movement between harmony and distance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 157 The power of nature is the power of a life in association. Nothing stands alone. On my haunches, I see a sunburst lichen attached to limestone; algae and fungi are working together to break down rock into soil. I cannot help but recognize a radical form of democracy at play. Each organism is rooted in its own biological niche, drawing its power from its relationship to other organisms. An equality of being contributes to an ecological state of health and succession. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a In my private moments of despair, I am aware of the limits of my own imagination. I am learning in Castle Valley that imaginations shared invite collaboration and collaboration creates community. A life in association, not a life independent, is the democratic ideal. We participate in the vitality of the struggle. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b London: In this culture we tend to draw very distinct lines between the spiritual world and the political world. And yet you don't seem to see any separation between them. You've said that for you it's all one -- the spiritual and the political, your home life and your landscape. Williams: I think we learn that lesson well by observing the natural world. There is no separation. That is the wonderful ecological mind that Gregory Bateson talks about -- the patterns that connect, the stories that inform and inspire us and teach us what is possible. Somewhere along the line we have become segregated in the way we think about things and become compartmentalized. Again, I think that contributes to our sense of isolation and our lack of a whole vision of the world -- seeing the world whole, even holy. I can't 226 imagine a secular life, a spiritual life, an intellectual life, a physical life. I mean, we would be completely wrought with schizophrenia, wouldn't we? So I love the interrelatedness of things. We were just observing out at Point Reyes a whole colony of elephant seals and it was so deeply beautiful, and it was so deeply spiritual. It was fascinating listening to this wonderful biologist, Sarah Allen Miller, speak of her relationship to these beings for 20 years. How the males, the bulls, have this capacity to dive a mile deep, can you imagine? And along the way they sleep while they dive. And I kept thinking, "And what are their dreams?" And the fact that they can stay under water for up to two hours. Think of the kind of ecological mind that an elephant seal holds. Then looking at the females, these unbelievably luxurious creatures that were just sunbathing on this crescent beach with the waves breaking out beyond them. Then they would just ripple out into the water in these blue-black bodies, just merging with the water. It was the most erotic experience I've ever seen. We were there for hours. No separation between the spiritual and the physical. It was all one. I had the sense that we had the privilege of witnessing other -- literally another culture, that extension of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 “I find my spirituality in the connectedness of all life. Everything is endowed with its own spirit. I was taught there was a spirit world that was created before this Earth and that it exists now, and therefore all life is sacred.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 131 For me, it is all about relationships. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, INTERRELATEDNESS 227 INTIMACY …. “The cairns I have followed have not secured my own path to intimacy as much as they have given me the courage to proceed—one foot in front of the other in a landscape mysterious, unpredictable, and vast. Nobody really knows the way, that is the myth of convention.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 196 “Biologist Tim Clark says at the heart of good biology is a central core of imagination. It is the basis for responsible science. And it has everything to do with intimacy, spending time outside.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 86 “The spiritual nature assigned to these peaks [by the Navajo] rouses me to look again at our own mountains. What I think is intimacy may not be intimacy at all. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 35 TL: I recall hearing you read from a manuscript version of Desert Quartet: An Erotic Landscape at a conference in Salt Lake City a few years back. At the time, you seemed nervous about writing frankly about the erotics of landscape. It seems a risky thing to write about. Has the reaction to the book justified your nervousness, or has it been favorably received? Why did you choose to write about this topic? TTW: You ask about Desert Quartet and why I wrote that book. I think every writer struggles with various questions and tries to make peace with those questions, those longings through their art, their craft. I am interested in the notion of love and why we are so fearful of intimacy, with each other and with the land. I wanted to explore the idea of the erotic, not as it is defined by my culture as pornographic and exploitive, but rather what it might mean to engage in a relationship of reciprocity. I wanted to try and write out of the body, not out of the head. I wanted to create a circular text, not a linear one. I wanted to play with the elemental movements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air, and bow to the desert, a landscape I love. I wanted to see if I could create on the page a dialogue with the heartopen wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 London: What do you think happens when we lose a sense of intimacy with the natural world around us? Williams: I think our lack of intimacy with the land has initiated a lack of intimacy with each other. What we perceive as non-human, outside of us, is actually in direct relationship with us. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 (On Unspoken Hunger) “Intimacy makes us uncomfortable, so there is another issue here; I really believe our lack of intimacy with the land has initiated a lack of intimacy with each other. So how do we cross these borders? How do we keep things fluid, not fixed, so we can begin to explore both our body and the body of the earth? No separation. Eros: nature even our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 4 228 “That’s the premise of Refuge—that an intimacy with the natural world initiates an intimacy with death, because life and death are engaged in an endless, inseparable dance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview 229 INTUITION In the open space of democracy, we engage the qualities of inquiry, intuition, and love as we become a dynamic citizenry, unafraid to exercise our shared knowledge and power. We can dissent. We can vote. We can step forward in times of terror with a confounding calm that will shatter fear and complacency. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b INTUITION 230 JAPAN London: That terror is also related to a certain pain that we can experience -- which you spoke of recently when you said that the pain that we feel when we confront the natural world is a very different one from the mental anguish that many of us live with day in and day out. Williams: The Japanese have a word -- aware -- which, in my understanding is, again, that full range -- both the joy and the sorrow of our life. One does not exist without the other. And I really feel that. It's the delicacy and the strength of our relations. And I feel it most acutely in those intimate moments -- with another person, in a landscape that is beloved. London: But what about this pain that comes from mental anguish? You write of the "distracted and domesticated" life. Why is that so dangerous? Williams: Because then I think we're skating on surfaces. I know it in my own life -- and I think that is where this frustration comes in. It's not the place we want to be, but it's the place our society requires that we be. There is no fulfillment there. So we become numbed, we become drugged, we become less than we are. And I think that we know that. That is the anguish I hear you talking about. Whereas the pain that one feels in the natural world arises out of beauty. The pain that we feel when we are making love with someone is that we know it will end. It's that paradoxical response of joy and suffering. One, as we were saying, cannot exist without the other. They mirror each other. They live in the same house. And it moves us to tears. I recently got back from Hiroshima and it was fascinating to me how the Japanese accommodate this paradox. We were talking about this word aware, which on the page looks like "aware," which speaks to both the pain and the beauty of our lives. Being there, what I perceived was that this is a sorrow that is not a grief that one forgets or recovers from, but it is a burning, searing illumination of love for the delicacy and strength of our relations. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 7 I would love to just read this. This is a piece that I just wrote for The Nation in their 50th anniversary issue of 1945 and World War II. [Reading:] Kenzaburo Oe writes in Hiroshima Notes, "Hiroshima is like a nakedly exposed wound inflicted on all mankind. Like all wounds, this one poses two potential outcomes: the hope of human recovery, and the danger of fatal corruption." Shoko Itoh has just completed translating a newly found manuscript of Henry David Thoreau, "The Dispersion of Seeds." She tells me how moved she is by his words, the import of his ideas. "The one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul. This every man is entitled to; this every man contains within him, although in almost all men obstructed, and as yet unborn." If, as Shoko Itoh says, "all religions are born of light," then perhaps Hiroshima has given birth to a religion of peace. Aware. The active soul. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 8 231 JOY, HAPPINESS We are meant to be joyful. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b On this magical night, we watch in wonder and awe as young people climb, carrying wood on their backs, and lay down their burdens, striking the match, blowing on embers, fanning the flames with great faith and joy. Fire. Fire in freefall, over the cliff, reminding us all what is primal and fleeting. We cannot know what lies ahead. We may be unsure how to bring our prayers forward. But on this night in the desert, we celebrate this cascading river of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b JOY, HAPPINESS 232 JUSTICE I have always believed democracy is best practiced through its construction, not its completion -- a never-ending project where the windows and doors remain open, a reminder to never close ourselves off to the sensory impulses of eyes and ears alert toward justice. Walls are torn down instead of erected in a counter-intuitive process where a monument is not built but a home, in a constant state of renovation. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20a JUSTICE 233 LANGUAGE “I write because I believe in words. I write because I do not believe in words.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 113 “I write knowing I will always fail. I write knowing words always fall short. I write knowing I can be killed by my own words, stabbed by syntax, crucified by both understanding and misunderstanding.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 114 “. . . and then I realize, it doesn’t matter, words are always a gamble, words are splinters of cut glass. I write because it is dangerous, a bloody risk, like love, to form the words, to say the words, to touch the source, to be touched, to reveal how vulnerable we are, how transient we are. I write as though I am whispering in the ear of the one I love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 114-115 “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 Can we learn to speak the language of red? The relationship between language and landscape is a marriage of sound and form, an oral geography, a sensual topography, what draws us to a place and keeps us there. Where we live is at the center of how we speak. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 136 “Native people understand language as an articulation of kinship, all manner of relations. To the Dine, hozho honors balance in the world, a kind of equilibriated grace, how human beings stand in relation to everything else. If a native tongue is lost, the perceived landscape is also lost Conversely, if the landscape is destroyed, the language that evolved alongside is also destroyed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 137 “Where am I to find my center of gravity linguistically? How do I learn to speak in a language native to where I live? --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 137 I want to learn the landscape of the desert, to be able to translate this landscape of red into a landscape of heat that quickens the heart and gives courage to silence, a silence that is heard. I want to learn how to speak the language of red. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 138 “The organic nature of speech is the confluence of earth and sound.” 234 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 “Standing in the midst of these native tongues, I stand inside my own diction of desire and play.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 “Can we learn to speak a language indigenous to the heart?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 “The open expanse of sky makes me realize how necessary it is to live without words, to be satisfied without answers, to simply be in a world where there is no wind, no drama. To find a place of rest and safety, no matter how fleeting it may be, no matter how illusory, is to regain composure and locate bearings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “In the beginning, there were no words.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Air,” Red, 209 “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 “Through the glass I watched the passion that flowed between my father and brothers as they spoke of deer. Their words went beyond the occasion.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 100 “I watched her eyes shift inward and sense the Word passing through her heart. Silence. A prayer. She believes that ritual language is a part of her daily communion with the land, language that no only describes where she lives, but creates it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 133 Others To wonder. To contemplate that which is never lost but continues to move outward forever, however faint, until it is overcome by something else. 235 To wonder. To throw pebbles in pools and watch the concentric circles that reach the shore in waves. Waves of water. Waves of electricity. Illumination. Imagination. To say "I love you" one day and shout with rage on another. Our words are still moving, churning; this sea of spoken languages oscillates, around us. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” I write to migrating birds with the hubris of language. . . .I write because I believe in words. I write because I do not believe words. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” I write knowing I can be killed by my own words, stabbed by syntax, crucified by both understanding and misunderstanding. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” words are always a gamble, words are splinters from cut glass. I write because it is dangerous, a bloody risk, like love, to form the words, to say the words, to touch the source, to be touched, to reveal how vulnerable we are, how transient. I write as though I am whispering in the ear of the one I love. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” Interviews “Our culture has chosen to define erotic in very narrow terms, terms that largely describe pornography or voyeurism, the opposite of a relationship that asks for reciprocity. One of the things I was interested in with Desert Quartet was to explore the use of language in its pure sense, to use the word ‘erotic’ to intensify, to expand our view of Eros, to literally be in relationship on the page. When we’re in relation, whether it is with a human being, with an animal, or with the desert, I think there is an exchange of the erotic impulse. We are engaged, we are vulnerable, we are both giving and receiving, we are fully present in that moment, and we are able to heighten our capacity for passion which I think is the full range of emotion, both the joy and sorrow that one feels when in wild country. To speak about Eros in a particular landscape is to acknowledge our capacity to love Other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 3-4 “The language that women speak when no one is there to correct hem is the language of the heart, a kind to the land. Women’s language is like connective tissue, detailed and circuitous; it goes in and out. When two women speak, they can keep five strands of conversation going at once. . . . the language of women knows no time. A women’s language is about meanderings, like a river. . . . It is a language without selfconsciousness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 123 London: One of your great gifts as a writer is your ability to translate your experience of nature into words. Yet nature seems to inspire in us not words but silence -- after all, that is one of the most profound reasons for living close to nature, to get beyond words. Do you find that sometimes the words get in the way? Williams: That is so true, and I love what you just said about silence going beyond words. And, who knows, hopefully there will come a time when I have no words, when I can honor and hold that kind of stillness that I so need, crave, and desire in the natural world. I think you are absolutely right. Isn't that intimacy? When you are with a landscape or a 236 human being where there is no need to speak, but simply to listen, to perceive, to feel. And I worry... (I think I must be worried all the time -- maybe that is the other side of joy, you know, holding that line of the full range of emotions.) But we are losing our sense of silence in the world. ………… So, I wonder about silence. Also about darkness. I love the idea that city lights are a "conspiracy" against higher thoughts. If we can no longer see the stars, then where can our thoughts travel to? So, I think there is much to preserve -- not just landscape, but the qualities that are inherent in landscape, in wild places: silence, darkness. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 6 “So I am interested, as a writer, in finding what the mother tongue is. I believe it has to do with structure, form, and style. I think it has to do with identifying relationships that break through the veneer of what is proper, what is expected. The language that women speak when nobody is there to correct them oftentimes can make people uncomfortable because it threatens to undermine the status quo. It’s what we know in our hearts that we don’t dare speak, . . . the sense of women and secrets.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 123 237 LET GO, YIELD, FLOW WITH Refuge Mother: “It feels good to finally be able to embrace my cancer. It’s almost like a friend,” she said. “For the first time, I feel like moving with it and not resisting what is ahead.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 156 “You still don’t understand, do you?” Mother said to me. “It doesn’t matter how much time I have left. All we have is now. I wish you could all accept that and let go of your projects. Just let me live so I can die.” Here words cut through me like broken glass. This afternoon, she said, “Terry, to keep hoping for life in the midst of letting go is to rob me of the moment I am in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 161 “You learn to relinquish,” Mother said to me while I rubbed her back. “You learn to be an open vessel and let life flow through you.” I do not understand. “It’s not that I am giving up,” she said. “I am just going with it. It’s as if I am moving into another channel of life that lets everything in. Suddenly, there is nothing more to fight.” How can I advocate fighting for life when I am in the tutelage of a woman who is teaching me how to let go? --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 165 The Fremont oscillated with the lake levels. As Great Salt Lake rose, they retreated. As the lake retreated, they were drawn back. Theirs was not a fixed society like ours. They followed the expanding and receding shorelines. It was the ebb and flow of their lives In many ways, the Fremont had more options than we have. What do we do when faced with a rising Great Salt Lake? Pump it west. What did the Fremont do? Move. They accommodated change were, so often, we are immobilized by it. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 183 “She was letting go. So was I.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 192 Mother: “And now, it feels good to give in. I am ready to go.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 211 “I have to let go—she has taught me there is no one moment of death. It is a process.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 228 “In my heart I say, “Let go . . . let go . . . follow the light . . .” There is a crescendo of movement, like walking up a pyramid of light. And it is sexual, the concentration of love, of being fully present. Pure feeling. Pure color. I can feel her spirit rising through the top of her head. Her eyes focus on mine with total joy—a fullness that transcends words. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 231 238 Mimi: “I let go of my conditioning. . . . But when I looked into the water closet and saw what my body had expelled, the first thought that came into my mind was ‘Finally, I am rid of the orthodoxy.’ My advice to you, dear, is do it consciously.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 246 Mimi: “Cancer at eighty is very different from cancer at forty. You must get on with your life and I will get on with mine. We will just go with it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 247 “Refuge is not a place outside myself. Like the lone heron who walks the shores of Great Salt Lake, I am adapting as the world is adapting.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 Pieces of White Shell “Somehow we need to acquaint ourselves with the art of letting go, for to own a piece of the past is to destroy it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 125 239 LIGHT … “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “Is it possible to make a living by simply watching light? Monet did. Vermeer did. I believe Vincent did too. They painted light in order to witness the dance between revelation and concealment, exposure and darkness. Perhaps this is what I desire most, to sit and watch the shifting shadows cross the cliff face of sandstone or simply to walk parallel with a path of liquid light called the Colorado River. In the canyon country of southern Utah, these acts of attention are not merely the pastimes of artists, but daily work, work that matters to the soul of the community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 140 “On any given day, the river is light, liquid light, a traveling mirror in the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 148 “Present. Completely present. My eyes focus on one current in particular, a small eddy that keeps circling back on itself. Around and around, a cottonwood leaf spins; a breeze gives it a nudge, and it glides downriver, this river braided with light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 What I know is this: when one hungers for light it is only because one's knowledge of the dark is so deep. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43a LIGHT 240 LISTEN, HEAR Red “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 Refuge “I pray to birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day— the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 Unspoken Hunger “The umbilical cord between man and earth has not been severed here. The Maasai pasture their cattle next to leopard and lion. They know the songs of grasses and the script of snakes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 4 “I stood. I listened to her voice.” [Stone Creek Woman] --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 70 “Who were these artists, these scribes? When were they here? And what did they witness? Time has so little meaning in the center of the desert. The land holds a collective memory in the stillness of open spaces. Perhaps our only obligation is to listen and remember.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 124 Open Space of Democracy It is difficult to find peace. I am torn between my anger and my empathy. And then I go for a walk. My balance returns. I calm down, breathe, and allow for deep listening to occur. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 24 We are nothing but whiners if we are not willing to put our concerns and convictions on the line with a willingness to honestly listen and learn something beyond our own assumptions. Something new might emerge through shared creativity. If we cannot do this, I fear we will be left talking with only like-minded people, spending our days mumbling in the circles of the mad. I recall the words of William Faulkner, "What do we stand to lose? Everything." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 If we cannot engage in respectful listening there can be no civil dialogue and without civil dialogue we the people will simply become bullies and brutes, deaf to the truth that we are standing on the edge of a political chasm that is beginning to crumble. We all stand to lose ground. Democracy is an insecure landscape. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 241 Pay attention. Listen. We are most alive when discovering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b In the open space of democracy, we are listening -- ears alert -- we are watching -- eyes open -- registering the patterns and possibilities for engagement. Some acts are private; some are public. Our oscillations between local, national, and global gestures map the full range of our movement. Our strength lies in our imagination, and paying attention to what sustains life, rather than what destroys it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a We [Terry Tempest Williams and the students] talked about the ironies of this situation, how at the core of this little book is an inquiry and call for open dialogue and respectful listening, to create conversation and bypass the political rhetoric that has diminished all of us. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 7 October 2004 Others "Wondering about sound waves, how electronic waves keep moving outward until they become fainter and fainter, wearing themselves out until they are overcome by something else. Someday equipment will be able to pick these sound waves up. Nothing is ever lost. The sound is still there. We just can't hear it." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” If we in fact have a "tonal memory," what do the voices of our ancestors, our elders have to say to us now? What sounds do we hold in our bodies and retrieve when necessary? What sounds disturb and what sounds heal? Where do we store the tension of traffic, honking horns, or the hum of fluorescent lights? How do we receive birdsong, the leg rubbings of crickets, the water music of trout? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” All sound requires patience; not just the ability to hear, but the capacity to listen, the awareness of mind to discern a story. A magpie flies toward me and disappears in the oak thicket. He is relentless in his cries. What does he know that I do not? What story is he telling? I love these birds, their long iridescent tail feathers, their undulations in flight. Two 242 more magpies join him. I sit on a flat boulder to rest, pick up two stones and begin striking edges. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” I think about my grandfather, his desire for voices, to be held as he dies in the comfort of conversation. Even if he rarely contributes to what is being said, his mind finds its own calm. To him this is a form of music that allows him to remember he is not alone in the world. Our evolution is the story of listening. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” I write from the stillness of night anticipating--always anticipating. I write to listen. I write out of silence. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” Our commitment to revisioning and rebuilding community is not a game. It is not us versus them; it is not power over, or for, or against; it is a loving embrace. We must be willing to listen in the same manner we are asking others to listen to us. As we approach the twentyfirst century as an environmental community, I hope we hold close to that, realizing the environmental movement is a collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Epiphany” ...It will take an enormous amount of time to really find out what habitation means in this country. We're just beginning to get a taste of it. And patience. We don't need to have all the answers right now. We may never have the answers, but as long as we keep driving the questions, or keep finding pockets of humility, maybe it won't seem so overwhelming or so difficult. Then maybe a rancher and an environmentalist can burn their labels and see each other as neighbors. The environmental movement right now is not listening. We are engaged in a rhetoric as strong and as aggressive as the so-called opposition. I would love to see the whole notion of opposition dissolved, so there's no longer this shadow dance between "us" and "them." I would love for us to listen to one another and try to say, "What do we want as members of this community? How do we dream our future? How do we begin to define home?" Then we would have something to build from, rather than constantly turning one another into abstractions and stereotypes engaged in military combativeness. I believe we all desire similar things. The real poison of our society right now is that everything is reduced to such a simplistic level. There is no tolerance or hunger for complexity or ambiguity. Do you want this or that? Black or white? Yes or no? It strips us to our lowest common denominator, creating a physics that is irreconcilable just by the nature of the polarity. As a result, we miss the richness we can bring to one another in our diverse points of view. It is not about agreement. It is about respect. 243 --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen Interview, Listening to the Land The dialogue [with the students] that followed was heartening. Never have I seen or felt such engagement in this country. Citizens are informed, active. Of course, there are those who are not. But that has always been the case. 62 million Americans watched the first presidential debate on September 30. There is so much at stake. We are at war in Iraq. We are fighting for public process on public lands. I am not one to use these kinds of words, but it is true. These are contentious times, confusing times, all the more reason and need for deep listening and the creation of open dialogue. . . . This is not about answers, but inquiry, honest, soulful discussion. I remember my grandmother Mimi Saying that first you must identify the question and then it begins to solve itself through your awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Golden Colorado Thich Nhat Hanh: In Congress, in city halls, in statehouses, and schools, we need people capable of practicing deep listening and loving speech. Unfortunately, many of us have lost this capacity. To have peace, we must first have understanding, and understanding is not possible without gentle, loving communication. Therefore, restoring communication is an essential practice for peace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 28-29 October 2004, LISTEN, HEAR 244 LITERATURE I realized that in American Letters we celebrate both language and landscape, that these words, stories, and poems can create an ethical stance toward life: Melville's Great Whale; Whitman's Leaves of Grass; Thoreau's Walden Pond; Emerson's "Oversoul" -- the natural world infused with divinity. I came to understand through an education in the humanities that knowledge is another form of democracy, the freedom of expression that leads to empathy. It begins with our questions... --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21a LITERATURE 245 LOCATION – THEMES ROOTED IN PLACE & HOME “Political courage means caring enough to explain what is perceived at the time as madness and staying with an idea long enough, being rooted in a place deep enough, and telling the story widely enough to those who will listen, until it is recognized as wisdom— wisdom reflected back to society through the rejuvenation and well-being of the next generation who can still find wild country to walk in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 181-182 The Bird Refuge has remained a constant. It is a landscape so familiar to me, there have been times I have felt a species long before I saw it. The long-billed curlews that foraged the grasslands seven miles outside the Refuge were trustworthy. I can count on them year after year. And when six whimbrels joined them—whimbrel entered my mind as an idea. Before I ever saw them mingling with curlews, I recognized them as a new thought in familiar country. The birds and I share a natural history. It is a matter of rootedness, of living inside a place for so long that the mind and imagination fuse. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 “The officials thought it was a cruel joke to leave us stranded in the desert with no way to get home. What they didn’t realize was that we were home, soul-centered and strong, women who recognized the sweet smell of sage as fuel for our spirits.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 290 “Each of us harbors a homeland, a landscape we naturally comprehend. By understanding the dependability of place, we can anchor ourselves as trees.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 12 I really believe that to stay home, to learn the names of things, to realize who we live among... The notion that we can extend our sense of community, our idea of community, to include all life forms -- plants, animals, rocks, rivers and human beings -- then I believe a politics of place emerges where we are deeply accountable to our communities, to our neighborhoods, to our home. Otherwise, who is there to chart the changes? If we are not home, if we are not rooted deeply in place, making that commitment to dig in and stay put ... if we don't know the names of things, if don't know pronghorn antelope, if we don't know blacktail jackrabbit, if we don't know sage, pinyon, juniper, then I think we are living a life without specificity, and then our lives become abstractions. Then we enter a place of true desolation. I remember a phone call from a friend of mine who lives along the MacKenzie River. She said, "This is the first year in twenty that the chinook salmon have not returned." This woman knows the names of things. This woman is committed to a place. And she sounded the alarm. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 BIOREGIONAL LIVING “Progress is being made within rural communities as watershed councils and local land trusts are being formed, enlisting creative partnerships in the name of land stewardship.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 14 246 LOCATED IN UTAH COMMUNITY I know the struggle from the inside out and I would never be so bold as to call myself a writer. I think that is what other people call you. But I consider myself a member of a community in Salt Lake City, in Utah, in the American West, in this country. And writing is what I do. That is the tool out of which I can express my love. My activism is a result of my love. So whether it's trying to preserve the wilderness in Southern Utah or writing about an erotics of place, it is that same impulse -- to try to make sense of the world, to try to preserve something that is beautiful, to ask the tough questions, the push the boundaries of what is acceptable. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 Habitation ...It will take an enormous amount of time to really find out what habitation means in this country. We're just beginning to get a taste of it. And patience. We don't need to have all the answers right now. We may never have the answers, but as long as we keep driving the questions, or keep finding pockets of humility, maybe it won't seem so overwhelming or so difficult. Then maybe a rancher and an environmentalist can burn their labels and see each other as neighbors. The environmental movement right now is not listening. We are engaged in a rhetoric as strong and as aggressive as the so-called opposition. I would love to see the whole notion of opposition dissolved, so there's no longer this shadow dance between "us" and "them." I would love for us to listen to one another and try to say, "What do we want as members of this community? How do we dream our future? How do we begin to define home?" Then we would have something to build from, rather than constantly turning one another into abstractions and stereotypes engaged in military combativeness. I believe we all desire similar things. The real poison of our society right now is that everything is reduced to such a simplistic level. There is no tolerance or hunger for complexity or ambiguity. Do you want this or that? Black or white? Yes or no? It strips us to our lowest common denominator, creating a physics that is irreconcilable just by the nature of the polarity. As a result, we miss the richness we can bring to one another in our diverse points of view. It is not about agreement. It is about respect. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen Interview, Listening to the Land LOCATED IN SOLITUDE AND STILLNESS “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks. There is a resonance of humility that has evolved with the earth. It is best retrieved in solitude amidst the stillness of days in the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 LOCATED IN KINGDOM OF GOD “In Utah, there was a man with a vision. . . . . He loved the land he saw before him, a landscape so vast, pristine, and virginal, that he recognized it as the kingdom of God, a place for saints with a desire for home. The desert country of the Great Basin and Colorado Plateau was an answer to prayers of spiritual sovereignty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 74 247 WE LIVE IN RELATION TO ALL BEINGS “We must ask ourselves as Americans, ‘Can we really survive the worship of our own destructiveness?’ We do not exist in isolation. Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life-forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 76 “Native people understand language as an articulation of kinship, all manner of relations. To the Dine, hozho honors balance in the world, a kind of equilibriated grace, how human beings stand in relation to everything else. If a native tongue is lost, the perceived landscape is also lost Conversely, if the landscape is destroyed, the language that evolved alongside is also destroyed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 137 LIVING ON EARTH IN PLACE OF INTEGRATION As a woman of forty-four years, I will not bear children. My husband and I will not be parents. We have chosen to define family in another way. I look across the sweep of slickrock stretching in all directions, the rise and fall of such arid terrain. A jackrabbit blots down the wash. Pinon jays flock and bank behind cluster of junipers. The tracks of coyote are everywhere. Would you believe me when I tell you this is family, kinship with the desert, the breadth of my relations coursing through a wider community, the shock of recognition which each scarlet gilia, the smell of rain. And this is enough for me, more than enough. I trace my genealogy back to the land. Human and wild, I can see myself whole, not isolated but integrated in time and place. . . . Is not the tissue of family always a movement between harmony and distance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 157 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine 248 or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 STANDING ON EARTH “The wide-open vistas that sustain our souls, the depth of silence that pushes us toward sanity, return us to a kind of equilibrium. We stand steady on Earth. The external space I see is the internal space I feel.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 LIVING IN CENTER OF RED TTW: How do we create that middle ground in a world that is so often defined as black and white? It may require a new vocabulary. Indy: Perhaps the language of red? TTW: Yes. How do we find red in a world that is often defined in terms of black and white? The subtleties of our own perceptions are being lost to time. There's no time to enter the deep color of red. In a very real way, it's the color of the country that I live in, the red rock desert of southern Utah with its red rocks, red rivers, red sand. Red is blood. It's passion. It's the body broken open. It's love. There's danger in red. It's the color of rage, of destruction. To see red over time is to see red as a way to transformation. I'm asking how do we learn to live in the center of red. How do we act out of our own hearts? How do we stand inside the integrity of our own souls? How do we speak the language of red? How can we find and speak a language indigenous to the heart? --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3-4 INHABIT DESERT “I never forget I inhabit the desert, the harsh, brutal beauty of skin and bones.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 5 LOCATED IN DESERTS & MOUNTAINS AS WELL AS PUBLIC LIFE “As a writer and a woman with obligations to both family and community, I have tried to adopt this ritual in the balancing of a public and private life. We are at home in the deserts and mountains, as well as in our dens. Above ground in the abundance of spring and summer, I am available. Below ground in the deepening of autumn and winter, I am not. I need hibernation in order to create.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 EROTICS OF PLACE “Our culture has chosen to define erotic in very narrow terms, terms that largely describe pornography or voyeurism, the opposite of a relationship that asks for reciprocity. One of 249 the things I was interested in with Desert Quartet was to explore the use of language in its pure sense, to use the word ‘erotic’ to intensify, to expand our view of Eros, to literally be in relationship on the page. When we’re in relation, whether it is with a human being, with an animal, or with the desert, I think there is an exchange of the erotic impulse. We are engaged, we are vulnerable, we are both giving and receiving, we are fully present in that moment, and we are able to heighten our capacity for passion which I think is the full range of emotion, both the joy and sorrow that one feels when in wild country. To speak about Eros in a particular landscape is to acknowledge our capacity to love Other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 3-4 DWELLING IN CITY “Lee Milner’s gaze through her apartment window out over the cattails was not unlike the heron’s. It will be this stalwartness in the face of terror that offers wetlands their only hope. When she motioned us down in the grasses to observe the black-crowned night heron still fishing at dusk, she was showing us the implacable focus of those who dwell there. This is our first clue to residency.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 44 BEING PERFECTLY IN PLACE There is an image of woman in the desert, her back arched as her hands lift her body up from black rocks. Naked. She spreads her legs over a boulder etched by the Ancient Ones; a line of white lightning zigzags from her mons pubis. She if perfectly in place, engaged, ecstatic, and wild. This is Judy Dater’s photograph “Self-Portrait with Petroglyphs.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 LOCATED IN JUNIPER TREE She enters a juniper tree. “Hours passed, who knows how long; the angle of light shifted. Something had passed between us, evident by the change in my own countenance, the slowing of my pulse, and the softness of my eyes as though I was awakening from a desert trance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 107 Entering and walking in the river This river has muscle when flexed against stone, carved stone, stones that appear as waves of rock, secret knowledge known only through engagement. I am no longer content to sit, but stand and walk, walk to the river, enter the river, surrender my body to water now red, red is the Colorado, blood of my veins. --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music, Red, 150 LOCATED IN REGION OF SOUL In these moments at home, in this deep winter, I realized, as I have always known when I am at center, that an artistic life is a passionate life, a life engaged. My life as a writer, my life as an activist, is the same life. I respond out of my heart--mutable, intuitive, and supple. Boundaries are fluid, not fixed. Imagination may be more necessary than facts. Our task is to listen, to be able to enter that lightening region of the soul, of our communities. Our thought and action are transformed into art, the art of experience, shared lives in a shared landscape. In the simple and textured meanderings of the day, one plus one equals three. Relations, deep relations, collaboration. --Terry Tempest Williams, Epiphany 250 SETTLED INTO AN INTEGRATED LIFE “My ancestors moved and settled as a result of spiritual beliefs. They gathered in the belief of an integrated life where nature, culture, religion, and civic responsibility were woven in the context of family and community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 LIVING IN BEAUTY “It is humbling living here, exposed to the elements of wind, water, and heat. There is no protection in the desert. We are vulnerable. It is a landscape of extremes. I find myself mirroring them: hot, cold, wet, dry. The challenge is to live in the midst of so much beauty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 151 LOCATION AND LANGUAGE Can we learn to speak the language of red? The relationship between language and landscape is a marriage of sound and form, an oral geography, a sensual topography, what draws us to a place and keeps us there. Where we live is at the center of how we speak. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 136 LOCATED IN INTERNAL REFUGE “Refuge is not a place outside myself. Like the lone heron who walks the shores of Great Salt Lake, I am adapting as the world is adapting.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 LIVING IN SPIRITUAL HOME “O’Keefe’s watercolor Canyon with Crows (1917) creates a heartfelt wash of ‘her spiritual home,’ a country that elicits participation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 23 Entering wilderness “A blank spot on the map is an invitation to encounter the natural world, where one’s character will be shaped by the landscape. To enter wilderness is to court risk, and risk favors the senses, enabling one to live well.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 A woman from the Department of Energy, who had mapped the proposed nuclearwaste repository in Lavender Canyon . . . flew into Moab, Utah, from Washington, D.C., to check her calculations and witness this ‘blank spot.’ She was greeted by a local, who drove her directly to the site. Once there, she got out of the vehicle, stared into the vast, redrock wilderness and shook her head slowly, delivering four words: “I had no idea.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 242 WOMB IS FIRST INHABITATION “What is it about a relationship of a mother that can heal or hurt us? Her womb is the first landscape we inhabit. It is here we learn to respond—to move, to listen, to be nourished 251 and grow. . . . Our maternal environment is perfectly safe—dark, warm, and wet. It is a residency inside the Feminine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 CAN’T LIVE IN ORTHODOX PLACE Told of the nightmare. “Suddenly, my poetics of place evolved into a politics of place. It was then that I made the decision to write Refuge. And once I crossed that line— physically, at the Nevada test site, as well as psychologically in recognizing that the price of obedience is too high—I could never go back . . . back to the same place in the family, the same place within the Mormon culture.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview WE DO NOT INHABIT IDEAL WORLD And there are those who are saying, very thoughtfully, that it will only be by eliminating our desire to set land aside as ‘wilderness’ that we can begin to regard all landscapes with respect and dignity. I understand these points of discussion. In an ideal world, a world we might well inhabit one day, we may not need to ‘designate’ wilderness, so evolved will be our collective land ethic, our compassion for all manner of life, so responsive and whole. . . . I pray there will indeed come a time, when our lives regarding the domestic and the wild will be seamless. But we are not there yet. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 18 DISPLACEMENT Looking back, perhaps, these are the very ideas at the heart of Refuge and I didn’t even know it; I only knew what I saw in the rising Great Salt Lake, the displacement of birds, the displacement of our own family, the disorder and randomness of cancer, the healing grace of Earth. Transformation. The spiral. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 LOCATION – THEMES 252 LOVE …… “The flicker flies. A fire burns. Loves is as varied as the spectrum red. Break my heart with the desert’s silence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 “The world is in motion. We are in motion. We have all lost loved ones. We have all danced with grief and we will one day dance with death. We embody the spiral, moving inward and outward with the loss of fear, a love transcendent, and the courage to create new maps.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “D. H. Lawrence writes, ‘In every living thing there is a desire for love, for the relationship of unison with the rest of things.’ I think of my own stream of desires, how cautious I have become with love. It is a vulnerable enterprise to feel deeply and I may not survive my affections. Andre Breton says, ‘Hardly anyone dares to face with open eyes the great delights of love.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “’Blood knowledge,’ says D. H. Lawrence. ‘Oh, what a catastrophe for man when he cut himself off from the rhythm of the year, from his unison with the sun and the earth. Oh, what a catastrophe, what a maiming of love when it was made a personal, merely personal feeling, taken away from the magical connection of the solstice and equinox. This is what is wrong with us. We are bleeding at the roots. . . .’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “The land is love. Love is what we fear. To disengage from the earth is our own oppression. I stand on the edge of these wetlands, a place of renewal, an oasis in the desert, as an act of faith, believing the sun has completed the southern end of its journey and is now contemplating its return toward light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “It is time for us to take off our masks, to step out from behind our personas – whatever they might be: educators, activists, biologists, geologists, writers, farmers, ranchers, and bureaucrats—and admit we are lovers, engaged in an erotics of place. Loving the land. Honoring its mysteries. Acknowledging, embracing the spirit of place—there is nothing more legitimate and there is nothing more true. That is why we are here. It is why we do what we do. There is nothing intellectual about it. We love the land. It is a primal affair.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 84 > cf Gary Snyder: “no one loves rock” Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b 253 Love is nurtured through time. Time is what we lack. On the Canning River, time is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44b In our increasingly fundamentalist country, we have to remember what is fundamental: gravity -- what draws us to a place and keeps us there, like love, like kinship. When we commit to a particular place, a certain element of choice is removed. We begin to see the world whole instead of fractured. Long-term strategies replace short-term gains. We inform one another and become an educated public that responds. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a Those who love each other shall become invincible. --Walt Whitman, 1865 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b {On Whitman and Lincoln} Both men were purveyors of a spiritual democracy borne out of love and loss. Both men articulated the wisdom of their hearts borne out of direct engagement. . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b He is unafraid of his anger. His views can be militant and compassionate at once. Author of A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe, he unravels hope, asks us to liberate ourselves from these expectations. The students are completely riveted. Some are uncomfortable. "If you want to keep someone active, give them love, not hope...." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, LOVE 254 MEDITATION Red To move through wild country in the desert or in the woods is to engage in a walking meditation, a clearing of the mind, where we remember what we have so easily lost. Time. Time and space. The shape of time and space are different in wilderness. Time is something encountered through the senses not imposed upon the mind. We walk, we sit, we eat, we sleep, we look, we smell, we touch, we hear, we taste our own feral nature. What we know in a wild place is largely translated through the body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185-186 Refuge The mother: “Those days on the river were a meditation, a renewal. I found my strength in its solitude. It is with me now.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 “Relief comes only through concentration, losing ourselves in the studied behavior of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “I am talking her through a visualization, asking her to imagine what the pain looks like, what color it is, to lean into the sensation rather than resisting it. We breathe through the meditation together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 157 (Mother dies) “These days at home have been a meditation as I have scoured sinks and tubs, picked up week-worn clothes, and vacuumed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 233 Heron: “I would like to believe she is reclusive at heart, in spite of the communal nesting of her species. I would like to wade along the edges with her, this great blue heron. She belongs to the meditation of water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 266 “My mind returns to the lake. Our paddling has become a meditation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 279 Open Space of Democracy I enter a trance; the mantra of mountains rises, range after range of naked rock and peaks. I have no sense of time or scale, simply note this dynamic world that is both still and passing. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 39a Each day, another layer of the self sloughs off, another layer of pretense erodes. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 255 A long-tailed jaeger sits next to me. I try not to move. With my legs crossed and my eyes barely open, I enter the space of meditation. A wolf howls. My body leaps. The jaeger flies. Fear floods my heart. Presence creates presence. I am now alert. To feel yourself prey is to be shocked back into the reality of the Arctic's here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b You cannot afford to make careless mistakes, like meditating in the presence of wolves, or topping your boots in the river, or losing a glove, or not securing your tent down properly. Death is a daily occurrence in the wild, not noticed, not respected, not mourned. In the Arctic, I've learned ego is as useless as money. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b 256 MEMORY Red “We didn’t sleep all night. A shooting star here, another one there, each meteor seeming to burn a trail of memory into the night sky. My thoughts took on the density of waves, my mind so open, so pliable, each idea swelling, rising, and breaking over the other. For the first time in months, I began composing sentences.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” 122 Refuge Last night I dreamed I was walking along the shores of Great Salt Lake. I noticed a purple bird floating in the waters, the waves rocking it gently. I entered the lake and, with cupped hands, picked up the bird and returned it to shore. The purple bird turned gold, dropped its tail, and began digging a burrow in the white sand, where it retreated and sealed itself inside with salt. I walked away. It was dusk. The next day, I returned to the lake shore. A wooden door frame, freestanding, became an arch I had to walk through. Suddenly, it was transformed into Athene’s Temple. The bird was gone. I was left standing with my own memory. In the next segment of the dream I was in a doctor’s office. He said, “You have cancer in your blood and you have nine months to heal yourself.’ I awoke puzzled and frightened. Perhaps, I am telling this story in an attempt to heal myself, to confront what I do not know, to create a path for myself with the idea that “memory is the only way home.” I have been in retreat. This story is my return. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 4 > dated July 4, 1990 257 MORMON Red “In Utah, there was a man with a vision. . . . . He loved the land he saw before him, a landscape so vast, pristine, and virginal, that he recognized it as the kingdom of God, a place for saints with a desire for home. The desert country of the Great Basin and Colorado Plateau was an answer to prayers of spiritual sovereignty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 74 Brigham Young: “Here are the stupendous works of the God of Nature, though all do not appreciate His wisdom as manifested in his works. . . . I could sit here for a month and reflect on the mercies of God.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 74 Mormon scripture: The earth rolls upon her wings, and the sun giveth his light by day, and the moon giveth her light by night, and the stars also give their light, as they roll upon their wings in their glory, in the midst and power of God. Unto what shall I liken these kingdoms that ye may understand? Behold all these are kingdoms and any man who hath seen any or the least of these hath seen God moving in his majesty and power. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “My ancestors moved and settled as a result of spiritual beliefs. They gathered in the belief of an integrated life where nature, culture, religion, and civic responsibility were woven in the context of family and community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 “I have inherited a belief in community, the promise that a gathering of the spirit can both create and change culture. In the desert, change is nurtured even in stone by wind, by water, through time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 Refuge “Kneeling next to my grandmother, Mimi, I felt her strength and the generational history of belief Mormon ritual holds. We can heal ourselves, I thought, and we can heal each other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 35 It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within 258 their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “History has shown us that exclusivity in the name of empire building eventually fails. Fear of discord undermines creativity. And creativity lies at the heart of adaptive evolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 In Mormon religion, formal blessings of healing are given by men through the Priesthood of God. women have no outward authority. But within the secrecy of sisterhood we have always bestowed benisons upon our families. Mother sits up. I lay my hands upon her head and in the privacy of women, we pray. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 158 “Mormon religion has roots firmly planted in a magical worldview.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 195 “I stood at the side of my mother’s casket, enraged at our inability to let the dead be dead. And I wept over the hollowness of our rituals.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 235 We are far too conciliatory. If we as Mormon women believe in God the Father and in his son, Jesus Christ, it is only logical that a Mother-in-Heaven balances the sacred triangle. I believe the Holy Ghost is female, although she has remained hidden, invisible, deprived of a body, she is the spirit that seeps into our hearts and directs us to the well. The ‘still, small voice’ I was taught to listen to as a child was ‘the gift of the Holy Ghost.’ Today I choose to recognize this presence as holy intuition, the gift of the Mother. My prayers no longer bear the ‘proper’ masculine salutation. I include both Father and Mother in Heaven. If we could introduce the Motherbody as a spiritual counterpoint to the Godhead, perhaps our inspiration and devotion would no longer be directed to the stars, but our worship could return to the Earth. My physical mother is gone. My spiritual mother remains. I am a woman rewriting my genealogy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 241 259 Mimi: “I let go of my conditioning. . . . But when I looked into the water closet and saw what my body had expelled, the first thought that came into my mind was ‘Finally, I am rid of the orthodoxy.’ My advice to you, dear, is do it consciously.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 246 “In Mormon culture, authority is respected, obedience is revered, and independent thinking is not. I was taught as a young girl not to ‘make waves’ or ‘rock the boat.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 285 “The Mormon community we are part of also healed us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 295 Unspoken Hunger Mormon Relief Society. “They rendered peace throughout our lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 136 Interviews TL: I suppose it is fair to say that most people do not equate Mormon culture with environmentalism. Yet you are very forthright in being both a Mormon and an environmentalist. What do you see as the connection between the two? TTW: It is true, many people would say "Mormon environmentalist" is an oxymoron, but that is only because of the stereotype and veneer that is attached to the religion. Our history is a history of community created in the name of belief. If you go back and look at the teachings of Brigham Young, his journals and sermons, they are filled with very strong notions of sustainability. Early brethren of the Mormon Church gave rousing speeches on the perils of overgrazing and the misappropriation of water in the desert. Unfortunately, much of this ethic has been lost as the Mormon Church has entered modernity. Like so many other facets of American culture it has assumed a corporate and consumptive stance with an emphasis on growth and business. But I believe there is change inside the membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. Bill Smart, another Mormon, and I put together an anthology of Mormon essays that celebrate community and landscape, with Gibbs Smith, a Utah publisher. We asked around 40 members of the Church in good standing, if they would write a piece about how their spiritual views have enhanced their views of nature, or conversely, how nature has added to their sense of Mormon theology. What emerged was an evocative testament New Genesis: A Mormon Reader on Land and Community, a very diverse (and I must say surprising in its content), collection of wide-ranging ideas, that we hope will be a touchstone for other Mormons to contemplate their relationship to place. It could be said that the environmental movement in the past has been a political movement. I believe it is becoming a spiritual one. Native peoples have always known this. It is my hope that my own people within the Mormon culture will remember what our own roots are to the American West and the responsibility that comes with settlement. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 I am so excited to be able to be part of the Border Book Festival, to be part of this wondrous community in Las Cruces that exhibits this kind of wholeness. This is a very special place. One day, I hope I can travel down to parts of Chihuahua where my grandmother was born. She was part of the Mormon underground whose family practiced polygamy. She would always tell me stories of how beautiful it was and what she 260 remembered as a child growing up in northern Chihuahua. I know there are a lot of my relatives still living there. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 5 I am a Mormon, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are approximately ten million of us and I would imagine each individual has his or her own spiritual interpretation of the gospel. Given that, I can tell you my religious views are not entirely orthodox. There are many members within the Mormon religion who are uncomfortable with my writings, many who feel I am not on the "path of righteousness," that you are either "in the Church or out of the Church." And I have been told by various elders in the Church to tone down my voice. One of the tenets in Mormon religion is to be completely supportive of the General Authorities positions. I have questioned issues concerning women, politics, and the environment. In 1998, I co-edited with William B. Smart and Gibbs M. Smith and anthology of forty essays all written by member of the Church called New Genesis: A Mormon Reader on Land and Community. So far (knock on wood), I have not been excommunicated. I still have a voice within Mormon culture. Octavio Paz gives me courage when he writes, "If we are interested in a revolution, an evolution of the Spirit, it requires both love and criticism." I do not know what the response to LEAP will be within the Mormon community. Probably mixed, with strong feelings on both sides. Certainly, this book focuses on my own religious tradition, but I believe my critique and inquiries are not specific to Mormonism, but rather an examination akin to all orthodoxies that forget the power and possibility of personal revelation in the name of a codified belief system. I believe it is a human hunger to find a creative embrace of our own spiritual path within each of our religious traditions. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 3 My father has read LEAP. He has voiced concerns. He understands the risks I am taking and what is at stake, even my own membership in the Mormon community. He worries about my stance in the Church, what his friends and neighbors might think, and on some level, how vulnerable I am within a tradition that is not altogether tolerant of dissent. He also understands that I love my religion, that I mean no harm, and that I write with the intent to broaden the discussion through my own personal sense of integrity, bowing to the questions within my own heart that will not allow me to sleep. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 4 I think the whole idea of home is central to who we are as human beings. What I can tell you about my home is that I live just outside of Salt Lake City in a place called Emigration Canyon. It's on the Mormon trail. When Brigham Young came through with the early Mormon pioneers in 1847 and said "This is the place," that's the view we see every morning when we leave the Canyon and enter the Salt Lake Valley. So I feel deeply connected, not only because of my Mormon roots, which are five or six generations, but because of where we live. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not mindful of the spiritual sovereignty that was sought by my people in coming to Utah. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 I think that what I was talking about was that as a woman growing up in a Mormon tradition in Salt Lake City, Utah, we were taught -- and we are still led to believe -- that the 261 most important value is obedience. But that obedience in the name of religion or patriotism ultimately takes our souls. So I think it's this larger issue of what is acceptable and what is not; where do we maintain obedience and law and where do we engage in civil disobedience -- where we can cross the line physically and metaphorically and say, "No, this is no longer appropriate behavior." For me, that was a decision that I had to make and did make personally, to commit civil disobedience together with many other individuals from Utah and around the country and the world, in saying no to nuclear testing. Many people don't realize that we have been testing nuclear bombs underground right up until 1992. President Bush at that time placed a moratorium on all testing in this country and President Clinton has maintained that. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 4 London: How central is your Mormon faith to your identity as a writer -- has it had a big influence on your work and ideas? Williams: It's hard to answer because, again, I don't think we can separate our upbringing from what we are. I am a Mormon woman, I am not orthodox. It is the lens through which I see the world. I hear the Tabernacle Choir and it still makes me weep. There are other things within the culture that absolutely enrage me, and for me it is sacred rage. But it's not just peculiar to Mormonism -- it's any patriarchy that I think stops, thwarts, or denies our creativity. So the question that I'm constantly asking myself is, What are we afraid of? I think it's important for us to follow that line of fear, because that is ultimately our line of growth. I feel that within the Mormon culture there is a tremendous amount of fear -- of women's voices, of questioning of authority, and ultimately of our own creativity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 JW: Some would say that people like us -- people whose spirituality arises out of the earth -- have become pagan. Do you think that's true? TTW: I think so often our views of one another, of ourselves, shrink by the smallness of our vocabulary. What's a Christian? What's a pagan? Recently I was in Costa Rica, where I had the privilege of meeting a tribal medicine man. As we were walking in the rainforest he was sweeping the narrow trail of snakes with his feathered staff. He turned and he said, "I am a Christian, cosmologist, scientist, Earthist." And then he laughed. He said, "Does that cover it all?" And I thought, that's what I am, too! You know, whether it's Christian, whether it's pagan, whether it's an ecologist, whether it's a writer, a lover of language, a lover of landscapes, can't we just say that our spirituality resides in our love? If that makes us pagan, perhaps. If that makes us Christian, perhaps. But I love the notion that it's not this or that, but this, that, and all of it. And, in a way, this is how I see spirituality emerging on the planet. The constraints that we see within our religious traditions are not so satisfying. The world has become so large. I almost feel like the doors are blowing off our churches to let life come in and move freely. What we're seeing is that we're taking the best of what we're being offered. There's so much within my own tradition as a Mormon that I deeply cherish. The notion of community, the notion of service, the notion of land, prayer -- things that aren't exclusive to Mormonism, but that are certainly at the core of it. I can't separate my own sense of family from my sense of community from my Mormon roots. But, alongside, I think there's much to be gleaned from Buddhism, much to be gleaned from Catholicism, from that which the Quakers practice, from much that I have been exposed to and learned from my friends who are Indian people. And then there is so much to be gleaned from what we learn from the Earth itself -- from simply walking the land, from the deer, the river, the wind. 262 And so, together, through our traditions, through that which we are exposed, we come to some semblance of a spiritual life, bits and pieces. In my own tradition, I hear my mother saying, "Call it a crazy quilt." --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 JW: Women, in particular, seem to speak of that sort of crazy-quilt religion. But within the churches, of course, such an approach has mostly been rejected as unorthodox. TTW: With the message that you need the structure that orthodoxy supplies -- that without that structure, if we pick and choose the spiritual beliefs that are comfortable to us, then we're somehow missing discipline, missing sacrifice. But I think life is a discipline we don't need to seek. Each of us is aware every single day of the discipline upon us, about the sacrifice, the suffering. I don't feel that I have to have that imposed on me through an orthodoxy. I'm very mindful of that just being human. What I do struggle with is that when we practice our own spiritual life -- however we define that -- we miss the collective rituals. We miss the delight and strength and comfort that comes with our relations with others, and that comes with building a community. Here in Castle Valley, as the millennium approached, there was a particular cave where meditations were being practiced. People in the community would come and sit for an hour, and then another person would come and sit for an hour. I took great solace in that -- that as a community, surrounded by these buttes and mesas in the desert, we were mindful of the passage of time in the sense of deep time. Then, last Sunday was the monthly Fast and Testimony Meeting at my church. What that means is you fast for 24 hours, mindful of what feeds the body, mindful of hunger, even a spiritual hunger, and in that gesture you find a sense of humility. Then you come together as a community and you break the fast with the sacrament, with the body and blood of Christ. And then the time is ours to contemplate and to share what we've been thinking, feeling, something that's happened during the week that moved us. So it's really a time of stories, much like a Quaker meeting. And I just loved it! I realized that this is something within my religious tradition that I cherish. I love listening to the members' stories. And especially after forgoing food, I realized the stories feed us in the same ways that food feeds us. And that that can only be found in the embrace of community. And the ritual of sacrament means something to me. Again, I find both solace in the tradition and also outside the tradition. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman interview, 4 JW: One of the stories that's interesting to me, since you bring up your Mormon heritage, is the story of the Mormon people coming in search of land, and then finding the land -"This is the place!" -- in the Salt Lake valley. Has that heritage of a people seeking a sacred land influenced Utah's public policy in the direction of conservation? TTW: It's a complicated question. I started thinking about the conservation ethic in Utah, specifically inherent in the Mormon religion, when we were confronted with a crisis in our state. And that was the crisis of wilderness. You'll remember in 1994 when the Republicans took over the House and Senate with the Gingrich revolution, how everything shifted. Our political delegation in Utah couldn't have been more thrilled, with Orrin Hatch and Representative Jim Hansen at the helm. It was decided that for once and for all they would end the wilderness debate in Utah and because they had a majority they thought that this would move through quickly. To Governor Mike Leavitt's credit, he said we needed to have a public process. And so for six months there were hearings held in every county all 263 over the state of Utah that had wilderness under consideration in Bureau of Land Management land. Over 70 percent of Utahns wanted more wilderness, not less. In June, Hatch and Bennett, the Senators from our state, as well as Hanson in the House, came up with what was called "The Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995." This said that 1.7 million acres out of 22 million acres of BLM land would be designated as wilderness. Those of us within the conservation community were appalled. The citizens' proposal had been for 5.7 million acres. So a nasty fight ensued in the halls of Congress. Bottom line, people spoke out, not only in Utah, but all over the country, and the bill died. And, because of the political climate judged by a very astute Bill Clinton, the Grand Staircase Esconde National Monument was created with almost 2 million acres of wilderness in Utah. Our Senators would have had us believe that if you were Mormon, you were Republican, you were anti-wilderness; if you were non-Mormon you were a Democrat, you were pro-wilderness. Those of us within the Mormon culture said: That cannot be true! So we set out to find stories that would show otherwise. We created a book called New Genesis -- A Mormon Reader on Land and Community that contains about 40 stories from members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who spoke about how nature informed their spirituality as a Mormon or, conversely, about how Mormonism has enhanced their view of nature. It was very, very moving to see the different discussions, everything from the natural history of the quilt, to a treatise on air pollution, to a conversion story of the former mayor of Salt Lake City, a world-class rock climber, who, hand on stone, felt the spirit of God and joined the Mormon church. In each of these essays they tied the theme to a Mormon scripture, or to something in the doctrine, so that we were trying to pull our history of a land ethic through time to where we are now at the beginning of this new millennium. We also took a deep look at our history to say: What was the ethic of Brigham Young when he came across the plains during the Mormon exodus, came into the Salt Lake Valley, and said, "This is the place!"? We found that there was a very strong conservation ethic. That over the pulpit, at Temple Square, in the Tabernacle, there were talks given by general authorities that warned the saints of overgrazing, warned about using too much water and upheld the value of water conservation. Somewhere along the line we have forgotten that. It's been an interesting exercise of retrieval. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 4 As Harold Bloom has said, Mormonism is an "American religion." We have become very successful. What was once community-based has now become more corporate-based. So I think what we're seeing is not something unique to Mormonism, but something that we're seeing in the evolution of American culture. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 “the Navajo culture sent me back home to my own. There are similarities, a strong family structure reinforced through generational storytelling, a keen belief in the power of healing, but there are also marked differences. I had to come to terms with the fact that in Mormon culture, or any Christian religion for that matter, we are taught that human beings as having dominion over the land. This is one of the things that has led to my own estrangement from orthodoxy. Most Indigenous People do not view their relationship toward the earth this way. They see themselves as a part of nature with a sense of kinship extended to all forms of life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 264 “One of the great traditions in Mormon religion is Testimony Meeting. For two hours, usually the first Sunday of each month, everyone sits inside the chapel and, when so moved, you rise and tell your story. . . In Mormon culture, I was taught to value my own experience.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 124 “There has been a positive respond from the Mormon hierarchy of women because they see in this book the values of family and community and prayer and faith that are all honored within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 124-125 Speaking of family: “We knew that our relationship to the land was our relationship to each other. We could hold Church in the middle of the Great Basin as well as in the Monument Park Fourteenth Ward.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 125 “So there was this rugged individualism, embodied in the men in my family, that really is a stereotype of the American West and that too is about ‘free agency,’ a tenet within Mormonism. . . . My other grandparents . . . didn’t live by the letter of the law, but by the spirit of the law, and that also supported my idea of individual freedom within orthodoxy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 125 “The message was clear, we could choose how we wanted to live our lives, we were strong family, and we could endure whatever came our way. We had the intellectual and spiritual freedom to move within the structure. Although an orthodox Mormon may think free agency is about honoring obedience and finding freedom within that obedience, spiritual laws and principles, I’ve never honored that belief. For me, the most important value is independent thought, the freedom to choose a creative path. That’s how I have been able to survive within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 126 The Book of Mormon “has taught me the power of story. . . . It has taught me the power of a homeland, that place matters to a people, that each individual is entitled to [his or her] own personal vision. I was raised in a religion that says: Joseph Smith had a question. He went to a sacred grove of trees and fell to his knees in prayer. God appeared and counseled him to start his own religion. That’s pretty powerful doctrine for a child. What it said to me was that each of us is entitled to his or her own spiritual quest, and that your answer may not be the same answer as your neighbor’s but each has credence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 130 MORMON 265 MOTHER “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “What is it about a relationship of a mother that can heal or hurt us? Her womb is the first landscape we inhabit. It is here we learn to respond—to move, to listen, to be nourished and grow. . . . Our maternal environment is perfectly safe—dark, warm, and wet. It is a residency inside the Feminine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 “The umbilical cord is cut—not at our request. Separation is immediate. A mother reclaims her body, for her own life. Not ours. Minutes old, our first death is our own birth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 50 Suffering shows us what we are attached to—perhaps the umbilical cord between Mother and me has never been cut. Dying doesn’t cause suffering. Resistance to dying does.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 53 “But after midnight, silence. The depth and stillness of Great Salt Lake comes over the wetlands like a mother’s calming hand. Morning approaches slowly, until each voice in the marsh awakens.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “I laid my head on her lap and closed my eyes. I could not tell if it was my mother’s fingers combing through my hair or the wind.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 156 John Lilly suggests whales are a culture maintained by oral traditions. Stories. The experience of an individual whale is valuable to the survival of its community.” I think of my family stories—Mother’s in particular—how much I need them now, how much I will need them later. It has been said when an individual dies, whole worlds die with them. The same could be said of each passing whale. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 175 “I am slowly, painfully discovering that my refuge is not found in my mother, my grandmother, or even the birds of Bear River. My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 178 “One night, a full moon watched over me like a mother.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 189 The four trees we planted will grow in the absence of my mother. Faith holds their roots, the roots I can no longer see.” 266 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 198 “I am reminded that what I adore, admire, and draw from Mother is inherent in the Earth. My Mother’s spirit can be recalled simply by placing my hands on the black humus of mountains or the lean sands of desert. Her love, her warmth, and her breath, even her arms around me—are the waves, the wind, sunlight, and water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 214 My Mother’s spirit can be recalled simply by placing my hands on the black humus of mountains or the lean sands of desert. Her love, her warmth, and her breath, even her arms around me—are the waves, the wind, sunlight, and water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 214 “A full moon hung in a starlit sky. It was Mother’s face illumine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 232 We are far too conciliatory. If we as Mormon women believe in God the Father and in his son, Jesus Christ, it is only logical that a Mother-in-Heaven balances the sacred triangle. I believe the Holy Ghost is female, although she has remained hidden, invisible, deprived of a body, she is the spirit that seeps into our hearts and directs us to the well. The ‘still, small voice’ I was taught to listen to as a child was ‘the gift of the Holy Ghost.’ Today I choose to recognize this presence as holy intuition, the gift of the Mother. My prayers no longer bear the ‘proper’ masculine salutation. I include both Father and Mother in Heaven. If we could introduce the Motherbody as a spiritual counterpoint to the Godhead, perhaps our inspiration and devotion would no longer be directed to the stars, but our worship could return to the Earth. My physical mother is gone. My spiritual mother remains. I am a woman rewriting my genealogy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 241 “We turn our deaths over to someone else. In the process, our deaths have little privacy. We lose the spiritual instruction a good death can offer. No death is easy. We are rarely prepared. What I have learned through the deaths of the women of my family is that it’s not only possible to live well, it is possible to die well. They wanted to face death as part of life. There were no rules when my mother was dying, there was no precedent for us. So we, my family, just walked into that unknown territory with as much trust as possible, our mother our guide.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview “Mothers. Daughters. Granddaughters. The myth of Demeter and Persephone lives through us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 261 “And I felt the presence of angels, even my mother, her wings spread above me like a hovering dove.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are 267 wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 is this essentialist, or is it an undercutting of the notion of Feminine: a complex, multivalent, variant “Feminine.” not necessarily essentialist: by connecting with earth they gain power. Doesn’t imply only women are connected? When I’m in wilderness, I don’t feel it’s an institution. There is no ceiling or limitations. No human expectations that dictate its direction. When I’m in wilderness, I don’t feel that it’s contrived. It’s what it is. And it’s okay if we escape. I mean, yes, I am myself a dichotomy. I live in the city, and I go to the land to be refreshed. I think people have always done that on some level or another, in terms of that aesthetic need to be fed, to be still, to be calm, to be nourished – that whole idea of Mother Earth, if you want to get cosmic, Ed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 59 MOTHER 268 MUSIC “Mountain Lion, whose eyes I did not see, lay on the mesa, her whiskers retrieving each note carried by the wind.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Lion’s Eyes, Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 31 “One night, beneath the ruins of Keet Seel, we hard flute music—music so sweet it could have split the seeds of corn.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Kokopelli’s Return,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 43 “The land seemed to bow with the melody of the flute. . . . The flute music flowed out from the cliff dwelling like an ancient breath.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Kokopelli’s Return,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 43 Unspoken Hunger “Desert music of mourning doves and crickets began.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 24-25 269 MYSTERY … “Paradox preserves mystery, and mystery inspires belief.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 53 “My connection to the natural world is my connection to self—erotic, mysterious, and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “there is a place of peace—even if it’s a square foot of an empty lot, a garden, or the sky at night. There is something beyond which will hold us in all of life’s ambiguity. I choose to court the mysteries. I don’t think there is such a thing as security, but I know my home and I know my land, and as long as I live, I will stand my ground in the places I love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 270 NAKED, BARE the “searing simplicity of form. You cannot help but be undone by its sensibility and light, nothing extra. Before the stillness of sandstone cliffs, you stand still, equally bare.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “By undressing, exposing, and embracing the bear, we undress, expose, and embrace our authentic selves. Stripped free from society’s oughts and shoulds, we emerge as emancipated beings. The bear is free to roam.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 “And in that time, I shed my clothing like snakeskin.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 69 “It is time for us to take off our masks, to step out from behind our personas – whatever they might be: educators, activists, biologists, geologists, writers, farmers, ranchers, and bureaucrats—and admit we are lovers, engaged in an erotics of place. Loving the land. Honoring its mysteries. Acknowledging, embracing the spirit of place—there is nothing more legitimate and there is nothing more true. That is why we are here. It is why we do what we do. There is nothing intellectual about it. We love the land. It is a primal affair.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 84 > cf Gary Snyder: “no one loves rock” It is for my mouth, forever, I am in love with it, I will go to the bank by the wood, and become undisguised and naked, I am mad for it to be in contact with me. --Walt Whitman --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b If we are at all sensitive to the life around us, to one another's pains and joys, to the beauty and fragility of the Earth, it is all about being broken open, allowing ourselves to step out from our hardened veneers and expose our core, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in our emotional response to the world. And how can we not respond? This is what I mean by being "broken open." To engage. To participate. To love. Any one of these actions of the heart will lead to a personal transformation that bears collective gifts. I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we 271 may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 JW: I've read that the etymology of "ecology" is "ecos," which means home. TTW: Yes. Again, we are most mindful of those relationships that we live with every single day. I love the fact that I live in an erosional landscape. You watch the wind and you realize as you see the sand swirling about you that arches are still being created, that this isn't something that belongs to the geologic past. Metaphorically, that is also very powerful. To me, a spiritual life is also part of an erosional life. We are eroding the façade. Wind -- spirit -- sculpts us, sculpts our character, our consciousness, in ways we can't even know. I am shaped differently from others because of the spiritual processes that have formed me. There is physical erosion that goes on in the desert and spiritual erosion that goes on in our search for the truth, however we define that for ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 “I am interested in taboos, because I believe that’s where the power of our culture lies. I love taking off their masks so we can begin to face the world openly. I believe that will be our healing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview 272 NARRATIVE OF RETREAT “There is a holy place in the salt desert, where egrets hover like angels. It is a cave near the lake where water bubbles up from inside the earth. I am hidden and saved from the outside world. Leaning against the back wall of the cave, the curve of the rock supports the curve of my spine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 FINCH: Let me play devil’s advocate a minute. Aren’t you sort of being an aesthetic elitist? I mean you simply don’t want to see the signs of civilization that you depend on. . . . you want something different from where it is you have to live. WILLIAMS: See, I don’t think it is elitist. I think what’s elitist is private land. Wilderness is public land in the most profound sense. It’s there for everyone. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 58 When I’m in wilderness, I don’t feel it’s an institution. There is no ceiling or limitations. No human expectations that dictate its direction. When I’m in wilderness, I don’t feel that it’s contrived. It’s what it is. And it’s okay if we escape. I mean, yes, I am myself a dichotomy. I live in the city, and I go to the land to be refreshed. I think people have 273 always done that on some level or another, in terms of that aesthetic need to be fed, to be still, to be calm, to be nourished – that whole idea of Mother Earth, if you want to get cosmic, Ed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 59 FINCH: “one charge that has been leveled at nature writers is that what they do is escapist literature, that there are really serious problems that need to be confronted in our time and just going into the woods or the mountains or the plains or wherever and celebrating what you see there is really, in context, a trivial exercise.” --Robert Finch, with Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 60-61 FINCH: “we have in the past looked upon nature as something fundamentally outside of human tampering which we can use as a refuge – from ourselves, really, and from our mistakes, and also as a testing ground for ourselves.” --Robert Finch, with Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 63 274 NATURE Refuge Her grandmother Mimi. “She was not only fascinated by energy, but obsessed by it—how energy is used and expelled, conserved and stored, wasted, and recycled. Much of her philosophy of life resided in her belief in an open system of energy, not closed, why she saw the Earth as alive not dead, and why she believed the Universe was similarly constructed. It is also why she believed ‘her energy’ would continue after she died.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 312-313 “Ten years later I find myself contemplating these same things, processes of order and randomness, chaos theory and creativity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 Looking back, perhaps, these are the very ideas at the heart of Refuge and I didn’t even know it; I only knew what I saw in the rising Great Salt Lake, the displacement of birds, the displacement of our own family, the disorder and randomness of cancer, the healing grace of Earth. Transformation. The spiral. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 313 “I was raised to believe in a spirit world, that life exists before the earth and will continue to exist afterward, that each human being, bird, and bulrush, along with all other life forms had a spirit life before it came to dwell physically on the earth. Each occupied an assigned sphere of influence, each has a place and a purpose.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 14 As the Brooks Range recedes behind us, I am mindful that Mardy is approaching 101 years of age. She has never shed her optimism for wild Alaska. I am half her age and my niece, Abby, is half of mine. We share her passion for this order of quiet freedom. America's wildlands are vulnerable and they will always be assailable as long as what we value in this nation is measured in monetary terms, not spiritual ones. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a The power of nature is the power of a life in association. Nothing stands alone. On my haunches, I see a sunburst lichen attached to limestone; algae and fungi are working together to break down rock into soil. I cannot help but recognize a radical form of democracy at play. Each organism is rooted in its own biological niche, drawing its power from its relationship to other organisms. An equality of being contributes to an ecological state of health and succession. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully 275 and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a I hear Walt Whitman’s voice once again. “The quality of Being . . . is the lesson of nature.” Raw, wild beauty is a deeply held American value. It is its own declaration of independence. Equality is experienced through humility. Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a-b 276 NATURE – CULTURE “When we tamper with the balance of things the scales rarely meet equilibrium again. This story is written over and over in our history, be it with Native Peoples, economics, or bears. We are grossly insensitive to the connectedness of life. Eric Hoffer makes the point: ‘Lack of sensitivity is basically an unawareness of ourselves.’ In terms of culture which is intrinsically linked with landscape, is it possible to meet another with empathetic eyes? Perhaps. If we can begin to focus beyond ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 113-114 “Landscape shapes culture. . . . Perhaps we can begin to find the origins of our cultural inheritance in the land – not to move backwards, but forward to understanding the profound interconnectedness of all living things. As Gregory Bateson says, ‘If the world be connected . . . then thinking in terms of stories must be share by all mind or minds, whether ours or those of redwood forests and sea anemones.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 135 “Native people understand language as an articulation of kinship, all manner of relations. To the Dine, hozho honors balance in the world, a kind of equilibriated grace, how human beings stand in relation to everything else. If a native tongue is lost, the perceived landscape is also lost. Conversely, if the landscape is destroyed, the language that evolved alongside is also destroyed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 137 277 NATURE – HUMAN Red “When traveling to southern Utah for the first time, it is fair to ask, if the redrocks were cut would they bleed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 “And then after having made enough pilgrimages to the slickrock to warrant sufficient separation from society’s oughts and shoulds, look again for the novice you were, who asked if the standstone bleeds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 “If you draw wet sand that dries quickly, then you will know you have become part of the desert. Not until then can you claim ownership.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 “The landscape that makes you vulnerable also makes you strong. This is the bedrock of southern Utah’s beauty: its chameleon nature according to light and weather and season encourages us to make peace with our own contradictory nature. The trickster quality of the canyons is Coyote’s cachet.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 24 “individuals who care for the rocks will find openings—large openings—that become passageways into the unseen world, where music is heard through doves’ wings and wisdom is gleaned in the tails of lizards.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25 “Mountain Lion is a god, one of the supernaturals that has power over us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Lion’s Eyes, Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 30 “Mountain Lion, whose eyes I did not see, lay on the mesa, her whiskers retrieving each note carried by the wind.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Lion’s Eyes, Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 31 All of the story “The Bowl.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Bowl,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 32-36 All of “Buried Poems.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 37ff “Halfway down the canyon, I felt stirrings in my belly. Sweet corn was sprouting all along the river.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Kokopelli’s Return,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 45 “Inside the redrock ledge, the emotional endurance of the tortoise stares back at me. I blink. To take. To be taken. To die. The desert tortoise presses me on the sand, down on all fours.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 97 278 A group of friends gather in the desert—call it a pilgrimage—at the confluence of the Little Colorado and the Colorado Rivers in the Grand Canyon. . . . Nothing but deep joy can be imagined. . . . They take off their clothes and sink to their waists, turn, roll over, and wallow in pleasure. Their skins are slippery with clay. They rub each other’s bodies; arms, shoulders, backs, torsos, even their faces are painted in mud, and they become the animals they are. Blue eyes. Green eyes. Brown eyes behind masks. In the heat, lying on ledges, they bake until they crack like terracotta. For hours, they dream the life of lizards. In time, they submerge themselves in the Little Colorado, diving and surfacing freshly human. D. H. Lawrence writes: “There exist two great modes of life—the religious and the sexual.” Eroticism is the bridge. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 109 “I stop. The silence that lives in these sacred hallways presses against me. I relax. I surrender. I close my eyes. The arousal of my breath rises in me like music, like love, as the possessive muscles between my legs tighten and release. I come to the rock in a moment of stillness, giving and receiving, where there is no partition between my body and the body of Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “I dissolve. I am water. Only my face is exposed like an apparition over ripples. Playing with water. Do I dare? My legs open. The rushing water turns my body and touches me with a fast finger that does not tire. I receive without apology. Time. Nothing to rush, only to feel. I feel time in me. It is endless pleasure in the current. No control. No thought. Simply, here. . . . my body mixes with the body of the water like jazz, the currents like jazz. I too am free to improvise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 201-202 Refuge “There are those birds you gauge your life by. The burrowing owls five miles from the entrance to the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge are mine. Sentries. Each year, they alert me to the regularities of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 8 “We spoke of rage. Of women and landscape. How our bodies and the body of the earth have been mined.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 10 “Our attachment to the land was our attachment to each other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 15 “The birds and I share a natural history.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 20 “Maybe it’s the expanse of the sky above and water below that soothes my soul. Or maybe it’s anticipation of seeing something new.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 279 “The long-legged birds with their eyes focused down transform a seemingly sterile world into a fecund one. It is here in the marshes with the birds that I seal my relationship to Great Salt Lake.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 22 “I know the solitude my mother speaks of. It is what sustains me and protects me from my mind. It renders me fully present. I am desert. I am mountains. I am Great Salt Lake. There are other languages being spoke by wind, water, and wings. There are other lives to consider: avocets, stilts, and stones. Peace is the perspective found in patterns. When I see ring-billed gulls picking on the flesh of decaying carp, I am less afraid of death. We are no more and no less than the life that surrounds us. My fears surface in my isolation. My serenity surfaces in my solitude.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 “I could not separate the Bird Refuge from my family. Devastation respects no boundaries. The landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, the two things I had always regarded as bedrock, were now subject to change. Quicksand.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 “I could not separate the Bird Refuge from my family. Devastation respects no boundaries. The landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, the two things I had always regarded as bedrock, were now subject to change. Quicksand.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 40 The pulse of the Great Salt Lake, surging along Antelope Island’s shores, becomes the force wearing against my mother’s body And when I watch flocks of phalaropes wing their way toward quiet bays on the island, I recall watching Mother sleep, imagining the dreams that were encircling her, wondering what she knows that I must learn for myself. The light changes, Antelope Island is blue. Mother awakened and I looked away. Antelope Island is no longer accessible to me. It is my mother’s body floating in uncertainty. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 64 “To wander through a gull colony is disorienting. In the midst of shrieking gulls, you begin to speak, but your voice is silenced. They pull the clouds around you as you walk on eggshells. You quickly realize that you do not belong.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 73 I love to watch gulls soar over the Great Basin. It is another trick of the lake to lure gulls inland. On days such as this, when my would has been wrenched, the simplicity of flight and form above the lake untangles my grief. “Glide” the gulls write in the sky—and, for a few brief moments, I do. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 75 “I continue to watch the gulls. Their pilgrimage from salt water to fresh becomes my own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 76 “The heartbeats I felt in the womb—two heartbeats, at once, my mother’s and my own— are heartbeats of the land. All of life drums and beats, at once, sustaining a rhythm audible 280 only to the spirit. I can drum my heartbeat back into the Earth, beating, hearts beating my hands on the Earth—like a ruffed grouse on a long, beating, hearts beating—like a bittern in the marsh, beatinga, hearts beating. My hands on the Earth beating, heart beating. I drum back my return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 85 Letter from Mother to Terry: “More and more, I am realizing the natural world is my connection to myself. Landscape brings me simplicity. . . . I find my peace, my solitude, in the time I am alone in nature. . . . The natural world is a third party in our marriage. It holds us close and lets us revel in the intimacy of all that is real.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 86-87 I want to see the lake as Woman, as myself, in her refusal to be tamed. The State of Utah may try to dike her, divert her waters, build roads across her shores, but ultimately, it won’t matter. She will survive us. I recognize her as a wilderness, raw and self-defined. Great Salt Lake strips me of contrivances and conditioning, saying, “I am not what you see. Question me. Stand by your own impressions.” We are taught not to trust our own experiences. Great Salt Lake teaches me experience is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 92 I turn around three hundred and sixty degrees: water as far as I can see. The echo of Lake Bonneville lapping against the mountains returns. The birds of Bear River have been displaced; so have I. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 97 “First stars appear. A crescent moon. I throw down my sleeping bag. The stillness of the desert instructs me like a trail of light over water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 The wind rolls over me. Particles of sand skitter across my skin, fill my ears and nose. I am aware only of breathing. The workings of my lungs are amplified. The wind picks up. I hold my breath. It massages me. A raven lands inches away. I exhale. The raven flies. Things happen quickly in the desert. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 “Mother’s whole being is accelerated. I see her insatiable curiosity intensify. Her desire to absorb everything that is fresh and natural and alive is magnified. She is the bird touching both heaven and earth, flying with newfound knowledge of what it means to be alive.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 281 Her inner retreat of the past few months has momentarily been replaced by openness. “It’s all inside,” she said. “I just needed to get away, to be reminded by the desert of who I am and who I am not. The exposed geologic layers in the redrock mirror the depths within myself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 Wangari: “I am Kikuyu. My people believe if you are close to the Earth, you are close to people.” “How so?” I asked. “What an African woman nurtures in the soil will eventually feed her family. Likewise, what she nurtures in her relations will ultimately nurture her community. It is a matter of living the circle. “Because we have forgotten our kinship with the land,” she continued, “our kinship with each other has become pale. We shy away from accountability and involvement. We choose to be occupied, which is quite different from being engaged. In America, time is money. In Kenya, time is relationship. We look at investments differently.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 137 Dad: “Politicians don’t understand that the land, the water, the air, all have minds of their own. I understand it because I work with the elements every day. Our livelihood depends on it. . . . Sure, this lake has a mind, it cares nothing for ours.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 139 “We are evenly spaced like herons along the banks of the Bear River.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 142 “There is a spray of gunshot. The heron flies. Three ibises spring up, then float back down into the grasses. I turn. Suddenly, I feel as vulnerable as the long-legged birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 144 “The hostility of this landscape teaches me how to be quiet and unobtrusive, how to find grace among spiders with a poisonous bite. I sat on a lone boulder I the midst of the curlews. By now, they had grown accustomed to me. This too, I found encouraging—that in the face of stressful intrusions, we can eventually settle in. One beings to almost trust the intruder as a presence that demands greater intent toward life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 147 “There is something unnerving about my solitary travels around the northern stretches of Great Salt Lake. I am never entirely at ease because I am aware of its will. Its mood can change in minutes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “You stand in the throbbing silence of the Great Basin, exposed and alone. . . . Only the land’s mercy and a calm mind can save my soul. And it is here I find grace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 282 “I pray to birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day— the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 “Brooke will come later this evening. Until then, I shall curl up in the grasses like a bedded animal and dream.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 150 “I laid my head on her lap and closed my eyes. I could not tell if it was my mother’s fingers combing through my hair or the wind.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 156 I lay out these ten sections on the flat granite rocks I am sitting on. The sun threatens to dry them. But I wait for the birds. Within minutes, Clark’s nutcrackers and gray jays join me. I such on oranges as the mountains begin to work on me. This is why I always return. This is why I can always go home. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 160 John Lilly suggests whales are a culture maintained by oral traditions. Stories. The experience of an individual whale is valuable to the survival of its community.” I think of my family stories—Mother’s in particular—how much I need them now, how much I will need them later. It has been said when an individual dies, whole worlds die with them. The same could be said of each passing whale. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 175 “I am reminded that what I adore, admire, and draw from Mother is inherent in the Earth. My Mother’s spirit can be recalled simply by placing my hands on the black humus of mountains or the lean sands of desert. Her love, her warmth, and her breath, even her arms around me—are the waves, the wind, sunlight, and water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 214 “I count her breaths. They have the intensity and fullness of a surfacing whale’s.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 223 “A full moon hung in a starlit sky. It was Mother’s face illumine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 232 “There is a holy place in the salt desert, where egrets hover like angels. It is a cave near the lake where water bubbles up from inside the earth. I am hidden and saved from the outside world. Leaning against the back wall of the cave, the curve of the rock supports the curve of my spine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 Once out at the lake, I am free. Native. Wind and waves are like African drums driving the rhythm home. I am spun, supported, and possessed by the spirit who dwells 283 here. Great Salt Lake is a spiritual magnet that will not let me go. Dogma doesn’t hold me. Wildness does. A spiral of emotion. It is ecstasy without adrenaline. My hair is tossed, curls are blown across my face and eyes, much like the whitecaps cresting over the waves. Wind and waves. Wind and waves. The smell of brine is burning my lungs. I can taste it on my lips. I want more brine, more salt. Wet hands. I lick my fingers, until I am sucking them dry. I close my eyes. The smell and taste combined reminds me of making love in the Basin; flesh slippery with sweat in the heat of the desert. Wind and waves. A sigh and a surge. I pull away from the lake, pause, and rest easily in the sanctuary of sage. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 240 “I have been marked by the desert. The scar meanders down the center of my forehead like a red, clay river.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 243 “The unknown Utah that some see as a home for used razor blades, toxins, and biological warfare, is a landscape of the imagination, a secret we tell to those who will keep it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 “I can no longer participate in the killing,” Dad said. “When I see the deer, I see Diane.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 251 “I realize months afterward that my grief is much larger than I could ever have imagined. The headless snake without its rattles, the slaughtered birds, even the pumped lake and the flooded desert, become extensions of my family. Grief dares us to love once more.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 252 Terry Tempest Williams to Mimi: “The hollow eggs translated into hollow wombs. The Earth is not well and neither are we. I saw the health of the planet as our own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 262-263 “Refuge is not a place outside myself. Like the lone heron who walks the shores of Great Salt Lake, I am adapting as the world is adapting.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 Gnostics quote: “For what is inside of you is what is outside of you and the one who fashions you on the outside is the one who shaped the inside of you. And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you, it is visible and it is your garment.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 Mimi talking about Nancy Holt. “She camped at a site for tend days and, at that time, wondered if she could stay in the desert that long. After a few days, she located a particular sound within the land and began to chant. This song became her connection to the Great Salt Lake desert. She told me she fluctuated from feeling very small to feeling very expansive. I remember her words, ‘I became like the ebb and flow of light inside the tunnels.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 268-269 284 Mimi dies. “Lying in my hammock at home, the wind rocks me back and forth. It is all that is left to comfort me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 273 “Mimi and I shared a clandestine vision of things. I could afford to dream because she could interpret the story. We spoke through the shorthand of symbols: an egg, an owl. And most of what we shared was secret, much like the migration of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 273 “Brooke and I slip our red canoe into Half-Moon Bay. Great Salt Lake accepts us like a lover.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 “The time had come to protest with the heart, that to deny one’s genealogy with the earth was to commit treason against one’s soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 “The officials thought it was a cruel joke to leave us stranded in the desert with no way to get home. What they didn’t realize was that we were home, soul-centered and strong, women who recognized the sweet smell of sage as fuel for our spirits.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 290 Unspoken Hunger “The umbilical cord between man and earth has not been severed here. The Maasai pasture their cattle next to leopard and lion. They know the songs of grasses and the script of snakes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 4 The whole essay: “Undressing the Bear” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 51ff “In these moments, I felt innocent and wild, privy to secrets and gifts exchanged only in nature. I was the tree, split open by change. I was the flood, bursting through grief. I was the rainbow at night, dancing in darkness. Hands on the earth, I closed my eyes and remembered where the source of my power lies. My connection to the natural world is my connection to self—erotic, mysterious, and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 285 “By undressing, exposing, and embracing the bear, we undress, expose, and embrace our authentic selves. Stripped free from society’s oughts and shoulds, we emerge as emancipated beings. The bear is free to roam.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “If we choose to follow the b ear, we will be saved from a distractive and domesticated life. The bear becomes our mentor. We must journey out, so that we might journey in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “I find myself being mentored by the land once again, as two great blue herons fly over me. Their wingbeats are slow, so slow they remind me that, all around, energy is being conserved. I too can bring my breath down to dwell in a deeper place where my blood-soul restores to my body what society has drained and dredged away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 62 “D. H. Lawrence writes, ‘In every living thing there is a desire for love, for the relationship of unison with the rest of things.’ I think of my own stream of desires, how cautious I have become with love. It is a vulnerable enterprise to feel deeply and I may not survive my affections. Andre Breton says, ‘Hardly anyone dares to face with open eyes the great delights of love.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “’Blood knowledge,’ says D. H. Lawrence. ‘Oh, what a catastrophe for man when he cut himself off from the rhythm of the year, from his unison with the sun and the earth. Oh, what a catastrophe, what a maiming of love when it was made a personal, merely personal feeling, taken away from the magical connection of the solstice and equinox. This is what is wrong with us. We are bleeding at the roots. . . .’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “Dam, dike, or drain any of them and somewhere, silence prevails. No water: no fish. No water: no plants. No water: no life. Nothing breathes. The land-body becomes a corpse. Stone Creek Woman crumbles and blows away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 71 Pieces of White Shell “There have been mornings in Utah when I appreciated the Wasatch Range. Many when I have not. The mountains are always there. It is I who fade in and out of the valley.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 35 Franc Newcomb: “It is a Navajo belief that every form of animal or plant life on the face of the earth belongs to the god that created that particular plant or animal and gave it life; therefore, human beings have no right to use or destroy any part of this creation without permission from the creator.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 67 Franc Newcomb: “In the Navajo religion, each small form of life is accorded a proportionate spiritual status, ceremonial respect, and economic importance as that given to any of the greater forms of creation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 67 286 Clyde Kluckhohn: “Navajos accept nature and adapt themselves to her demands as best they can, but they are not utterly passive, not completely pawns of nature. They do a great many things that are designed to control nature physically and to repair damage caused by the elements. But they do not ever hope to master nature. For the most part The People try to influence her with various songs and rituals. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 70 “Through the Deerhunting Way one can see many connections, many circles. It becomes a model for ecological thought expressed through mythological language. The cyclic nature of the four deers’ advice to the hunter is, in fact, good ecological sense.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 105 “When we tamper with the balance of things the scales rarely meet equilibrium again. This story is written over and over in our history, be it with Native Peoples, economics, or bears. We are grossly insensitive to the connectedness of life. Eric Hoffer makes the point: ‘Lack of sensitivity is basically an unawareness of ourselves.’ In terms of culture which is intrinsically linked with landscape, is it possible to meet another with empathetic eyes? Perhaps. If we can begin to focus beyond ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 113-114 “Oral tradition reminds one of community and community in the Native American sense encompasses all life forms: people, land, and creatures. Barry Lopez extends this notion when he says, ‘The correspondence between the interior landscape and exterior landscape is story.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 135 Open Space of Democracy It is called "Bear Shaman" -- an Iñupiat sculpture carved out of soapstone. At one end is Man, crouched close to the earth. At the other end is Bear, in search of prey. Both Man and Bear live inside the same body. Their shared heart determines who will be seen and who will disappear. Shape-shifting is its own form of survival. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43a A long-tailed jaeger sits next to me. I try not to move. With my legs crossed and my eyes barely open, I enter the space of meditation. A wolf howls. My body leaps. The jaeger flies. Fear floods my heart. Presence creates presence. I am now alert. To feel yourself prey is to be shocked back into the reality of the Arctic's here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a 287 We walk for several hours along the tundra shelf, talking very little. Such joy. How do we return home without breaking these threads that bind us to life? How do we return our gratitude for all we have seen? We stop and lie on our backs, side by side, watching the clouds. A deep and abiding stillness passes through us. Our hands clasp. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47b There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a It is for my mouth, forever, I am in love with it, I will go to the bank by the wood, and become undisguised and naked, I am mad for it to be in contact with me. --Walt Whitman --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b Interviews TL: When I heard about the theme of this year's Border Book Festival, Our Bodies / Our Earth, I immediately thought of your work, Terry. As much as anyone's, your writing seems to connect the human body with the more-than-human natural world. Why is this connection so important to you? TTW: How can we not align our bodies with the Earth? We are made of the same stuff, so to speak: water, minerals, our blood like a river flowing inside our veins. To imagine ourselves as something outside of the Earth, foreign, removed, separate, strikes me as one of the reasons our collective relationship to the natural world and other creatures has been severed. I believe our health and the health of the land are intrinsically tied. I've witnessed this as "hibakusha" (the Japanese word for 'explosion-affected people'), downwinders, and the predominance of cancer in our family due in large part, I believe, to the fallout in Utah from nuclear testing of the 1950's and 60's. To see ourselves as part of the Earth and its community, not apart from it as Robinson Jeffers writes, to me can be an act of humility and awareness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 1 Our lack of intimacy with the natural world is in direct correspondence with our lack of intimacy with each other. Our bodies, the body of the Earth -- there is no separation. When we cause harm to the natural world, we also cause harm to ourselves. The health of the planet is our own. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 288 Traditionally, Christianity has made a distinction, a spiritual separation between human beings and other creatures, be they plants or animals. We have dominion over the Earth. This philosophy within the Judeo-Christian mind has wreaked havoc on the planet. We have abused our natural resources and given little thought to the notion of sustainability. I believe this is changing as we witness what the devastating effects of our irresponsible actions have created in terms of environmental degradation, be it global warming or deforestation or quite simply, the loss of open space within our cities and towns. We are slowly learning what it means to be good stewards, to enter into a dialogue with the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 To be in correspondence with the world around us -- to learn the names of things, to delight in all that is wild, even our own beating hearts, to embrace our sacred responsibilities toward the sustenance of life, to remember what we seem to have forgotten, that we are part of this beautiful, broken healing Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 London: What do you think happens when we lose a sense of intimacy with the natural world around us? Williams: I think our lack of intimacy with the land has initiated a lack of intimacy with each other. What we perceive as non-human, outside of us, is actually in direct relationship with us. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 London: We tend to take very extreme views of nature in America. We see it as ours to do whatever we please with, or, conversely, as something to rope off and protect from human intervention. Do you think we will ever learn to coexist with nature in a way that benefits both? Williams: I believe it is possible, and I think we have powerful role-models among us in the American West. Certainly the Hopis, a timeless civilization that understands sustainability and what that means about living in harmony, in tandem with the natural world. We have much to learn from them, and they will survive us, I feel certain about that. When you look at the Pueblo communities along the Rio Grande, when you talk to the Navajo people, the Ute people, and certainly the native peoples of California who still have their communities intact, it is what they have always known: that we are not apart from nature but a part of it. London: But we don't have much of a history of living in tune with nature. Williams: You are absolutely right, for us as Anglos who are very new to this landscape, we don't have a history yet. I look at Los Angeles and I ask myself, How can this ever be sustainable? And what are we contributing to that? Because we are all complicit. None of us is without blame. It's so difficult and it's so overwhelming and I think we have to make small choices in our own lives that can loom large collectively. But I worry. I think it's about capitalism, consumerism, our consumptive nature as a species approaching the 21st century. I certainly don't have the answers. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 9 Julie A. Wortman: When we arranged for this interview, you told me that you didn't think you had much to say about weather. Yet in your writing you frequently talk about such 289 things as the solstice and your need for below-ground time during winter in order to be able to continue your above-ground public life the rest of the year. In your essay, "Undressing the Bear," you write of "female rain falling gently, softly, as a fine mist over the desert." And your book Refuge, which was my introduction to your way of viewing life, is a powerful intertwining of your reflections about the slow flooding of the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge by the Great Salt Lake because of climatic changes and the ebbing of your mother's life owing to the breast cancer she and so many women in your family have contracted through exposure to the effects of nuclear testing carried on the desert winds. So to me it seems you have a great deal to say about weather. Terry Tempest Williams: Isn't that interesting? Maybe weather is like skin -- we're so close to it we don't even think about talking about it. And you may be right. I may, in fact, be obsessed with weather. And maybe it's just being born with the name Tempest, I don't know. But when you bring this topic up, I suddenly realize that I live with weather, that weather informs my days. In the household I grew up in, 5:15p.m. was sacred time around our dinner table, because that's when the weather report was broadcast. My father's business depended on the weather because he worked outside in a family pipeline construction business. Certainly, living here in Castle Valley, part of Utah's Red Rock Desert, every minute is infused and informed with and by weather -- clouds, wind, sun, heat, cold. Weather keeps us paying attention -- you can't get complacent here in the American West when there's so much sky. You watch the storms move in. You watch the rainbows. You watch the virga -- the rain that is falling but never reaches the ground. I find that living out here, in the desert in particular, my eyes are always focused upward. And I am reminded over and over again that there are forces out here that are much stronger and bigger than I am. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 She wrote Refuge “to remember my mother and grandmothers and what it was that we shared, and as a way of recalling how women conduct their lives in the midst of family, in the midst of illness, in the midst of death—in the midst of day-to-day living. I wrote Refuge to celebrate the correspondence between the landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, to explore the idea of how one finds refuge in change. And it is Refuge that gave me my voice as a woman.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122 She wrote Refuge “to remember my mother and grandmothers and what it was that we shared, and as a way of recalling how women conduct their lives in the midst of family, in the midst of illness, in the midst of death—in the midst of day-to-day living. I wrote Refuge to celebrate the correspondence between the landscape of my childhood and the landscape of my family, to explore the idea of how one finds refuge in change. And it is Refuge that gave me my voice as a woman.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122 Her mother “believed that the natural world was a third partner in her marriage.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 128 NATURE-HUMAN 290 NATURE – POLITICS Peter Matthiessen said “the American psyche that wants war is the same psyche that doesn’t want wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Patriot’s Journal,” Unspoken Hunger, 108 Indy: Why the need for wilderness? TTW: Wild country is so essential to our psychology. The context of our lives has shifted. We're feeling things, seeing things differently. My first impulse when I got home from Washington, when I saw the Wasatch mountains, I just burst into tears. My husband and I got into the car and drove up to the Tetons. We went on this trail that we've hiked for 20 years. The sound of sirens that were screaming in my psyche were replaced by bugling elk. It was so powerful to understand what sustains us in time of terror and times of calm as well. Wild lands remind us what it means to be human, what it means to be connected to something larger than ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: What priority do we assign conservation of wild lands given the current emphasis on international affairs and national defense? TTW: I think wild lands have never been more important than they are now. They are also more threatened as a result of the events of Sept. 11. Just today, a senator from Arkansas was trying to tie the President's energy bill to the bill for the war effort. America's Red Rock Wilderness is threatened by the urgency to dig for gas and oil. Right now, right on the boundary of Canyonlands, there are huge machines, trucks with massive tires, thumping the land to test it for gas preserves. There are assumptions that we are now at war and environmental and ecological integrity no longer matters. We're going to have to be very strong, very smart, very certain in our cause. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 NATURE - POLITICS 291 NATURE – RELIGION Red “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks. There is a resonance of humility that has evolved with the earth. It is best retrieved in solitude amidst the stillness of days in the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 “In Utah, there was a man with a vision. . . . . He loved the land he saw before him, a landscape so vast, pristine, and virginal, that he recognized it as the kingdom of God, a place for saints with a desire for home. The desert country of the Great Basin and Colorado Plateau was an answer to prayers of spiritual sovereignty.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 74 Brigham Young: “Here are the stupendous works of the God of Nature, though all do not appreciate His wisdom as manifested in his works. . . . I could sit here for a month and reflect on the mercies of God.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 74 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 “It’s strange how deserts turn us into believers. I believe in walking in a landscape of mirages because you learn humility. I believe in living in a land of little water because life is drawn together. And I believe in the gathering of bones as a testament to spirits that have moved on.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ walking in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ And when I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77-78 Mormon scripture: The earth rolls upon her wings, and the sun giveth his light by day, and the moon giveth her light by night, and the stars also give their light, as they roll upon their wings in their glory, in the midst and power of God. Unto what shall I liken these kingdoms that ye may understand? Behold all these are kingdoms and any man who hath seen any or the least of these hath seen God moving in his majesty and power. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 292 “Without a philosophy of wildness and the recognition of its inherent spiritual values, we will, as E. O. Wilson reminds us, ‘descend farther from heaven’s air if we forget how much the natural world means to us.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “For those of us who so love these lands in Utah, who recognize America’s Redrock Wilderness as a sanctuary for the preservation of our souls, Senate Bill 884, the Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995, is the beginning of this forgetting, a forgetting we may never reclaim.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “To be in relation to everything around us, above us, below us, earth, sky, bones, blood, flesh, is to see the world whole, even holy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 “I stop. The silence that lives in these sacred hallways presses against me. I relax. I surrender. I close my eyes. The arousal of my breath rises in me like music, like love, as the possessive muscles between my legs tighten and release. I come to the rock in a moment of stillness, giving and receiving, where there is no partition between my body and the body of Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “The fire now bears the last testament to trees. I blow into the religious caverns of wood and watch them burn brightly. My breath elucidates each yellow room and I remember the body as sacrament.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Fire,” Red, 208 Refuge “And if the natural world was assigned spiritual values, then those days spent in wildness were sacred. We learned at an early age that God can be found wherever you are, especially outside.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 14 “Back on the bus and moving, I wrote in my notebook ‘one hundred white-faced glossy ibises—companions of the gods.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 18 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide, and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “In the severity of a salt desert, I am brought down to my knees by its beauty. My imagination is fired. My heart opens and my skin burns in the passion of these moments. I will have not other gods before me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, 293 reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ When I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 “There is a holy place in the salt desert, where egrets hover like angels. It is a cave near the lake where water bubbles up from inside the earth. I am hidden and saved from the outside world. Leaning against the back wall of the cave, the curve of the rock supports the curve of my spine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 Once out at the lake, I am free. Native. Wind and waves are like African drums driving the rhythm home. I am spun, supported, and possessed by the spirit who dwells here. Great Salt Lake is a spiritual magnet that will not let me go. Dogma doesn’t hold me. Wildness does. A spiral of emotion. It is ecstasy without adrenaline. My hair is tossed, curls are blown across my face and eyes, much like the whitecaps cresting over the waves. Wind and waves. Wind and waves. The smell of brine is burning my lungs. I can taste it on my lips. I want more brine, more salt. Wet hands. I lick my fingers, until I am sucking them dry. I close my eyes. The smell and taste combined reminds me of making love in the Basin; flesh slippery with sweat in the heat of the desert. Wind and waves. A sigh and a surge. I pull away from the lake, pause, and rest easily in the sanctuary of sage. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 240 Unspoken Hunger “O’Keefe’s watercolor Canyon with Crows (1917) creates a heartfelt wash of ‘her spiritual home,’ a country that elicits participation.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 23 “speak to a group of Mormons about the spirituality of nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 23 On her brother: “He reminds me of what it means to live and love with a broken heart; how nothing is sacred, how everything is sacred. He was a weather vane—a storm and a clearing at once.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 38 When James Watt was asked what he feared most about environmentalists, his response was simple: ‘I fear they are pagans.’ He is right to be fearful. I would like to suggest Pan is not dead, that Echo lives in her repetitive world, in the cycles and circles of nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 83 Others What I know in my bones is that I forget to take time to remember what I know. The world is holy. We are holy. All life is holy. Daily prayers are delivered on the lips of breaking waves, the whisperings of grasses, the shimmering of leaves. We are animals, living, breathing organisms engaged not only in our own evolution but the evolution of a 294 species that has been gifted with nascence. Nascence--to come into existence; to be born; to bring forth; the process of emerging. Even in death we are being born. And it takes time. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 Interviews “The natural world was the spiritual world.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 4 London: In this culture we tend to draw very distinct lines between the spiritual world and the political world. And yet you don't seem to see any separation between them. You've said that for you it's all one -- the spiritual and the political, your home life and your landscape. Williams: I think we learn that lesson well by observing the natural world. There is no separation. That is the wonderful ecological mind that Gregory Bateson talks about -- the patterns that connect, the stories that inform and inspire us and teach us what is possible. Somewhere along the line we have become segregated in the way we think about things and become compartmentalized. Again, I think that contributes to our sense of isolation and our lack of a whole vision of the world -- seeing the world whole, even holy. I can't imagine a secular life, a spiritual life, an intellectual life, a physical life. I mean, we would be completely wrought with schizophrenia, wouldn't we? So I love the interrelatedness of things. We were just observing out at Point Reyes a whole colony of elephant seals and it was so deeply beautiful, and it was so deeply spiritual. It was fascinating listening to this wonderful biologist, Sarah Allen Miller, speak of her relationship to these beings for 20 years. How the males, the bulls, have this capacity to dive a mile deep, can you imagine? And along the way they sleep while they dive. And I kept thinking, "And what are their dreams?" And the fact that they can stay under water for up to two hours. Think of the kind of ecological mind that an elephant seal holds. Then looking at the females, these unbelievably luxurious creatures that were just sunbathing on this crescent beach with the waves breaking out beyond them. Then they would just ripple out into the water in these blue-black bodies, just merging with the water. It was the most erotic experience I've ever seen. We were there for hours. No separation between the spiritual and the physical. It was all one. I had the sense that we had the privilege of witnessing other -- literally another culture, that extension of community. 295 --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 TL: I suppose it is fair to say that most people do not equate Mormon culture with environmentalism. Yet you are very forthright in being both a Mormon and an environmentalist. What do you see as the connection between the two? TTW: It is true, many people would say "Mormon environmentalist" is an oxymoron, but that is only because of the stereotype and veneer that is attached to the religion. Our history is a history of community created in the name of belief. If you go back and look at the teachings of Brigham Young, his journals and sermons, they are filled with very strong notions of sustainability. Early brethren of the Mormon Church gave rousing speeches on the perils of overgrazing and the misappropriation of water in the desert. Unfortunately, much of this ethic has been lost as the Mormon Church has entered modernity. Like so many other facets of American culture it has assumed a corporate and consumptive stance with an emphasis on growth and business. But I believe there is change inside the membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. Bill Smart, another Mormon, and I put together an anthology of Mormon essays that celebrate community and landscape, with Gibbs Smith, a Utah publisher. We asked around 40 members of the Church in good standing, if they would write a piece about how their spiritual views have enhanced their views of nature, or conversely, how nature has added to their sense of Mormon theology. What emerged was an evocative testament New Genesis: A Mormon Reader on Land and Community, a very diverse (and I must say surprising in its content), collection of wide-ranging ideas, that we hope will be a touchstone for other Mormons to contemplate their relationship to place. It could be said that the environmental movement in the past has been a political movement. I believe it is becoming a spiritual one. Native peoples have always known this. It is my hope that my own people within the Mormon culture will remember what our own roots are to the American West and the responsibility that comes with settlement. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 “I find my spirituality in the connectedness of all life. Everything is endowed with its own spirit. I was taught there was a spirit world that was created before this Earth and that it exists now, and therefore all life is sacred.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 131 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 296 JW: It is kind of like taking religion indoors into a climate-controlled sanctuary. In doing that, there's a terrible negative result for a politics of place. TTW: That's right, because we can abdicate our responsibilities. That was one of the aspects of Hieronymus Bosch's triptych, The Garden of Earthly Delights, that seized me. It seems that, as Christians, it is very easy for us to contemplate heaven and to contemplate hell. It's not so easy for us to be engaged on the Earth. I was so struck by the painting's side panels of heaven and hell, and then the center panel, of Earth, where you see this wild engagement -- even love-making -- with the Earth. With the birds on the same physical scale as the human beings, there is this wonderful confluence of consciousness in that center panel that we forget. We lose track of the central delights of a spiritual life -- hand on rock, body in water, the sweet conversations that exist when we're completely present in place, home, Earth. Again, not that separation of heaven and hell, past and future. The present is the gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 JW: I've read that the etymology of "ecology" is "ecos," which means home. TTW: Yes. Again, we are most mindful of those relationships that we live with every single day. I love the fact that I live in an erosional landscape. You watch the wind and you realize as you see the sand swirling about you that arches are still being created, that this isn't something that belongs to the geologic past. Metaphorically, that is also very powerful. To me, a spiritual life is also part of an erosional life. We are eroding the façade. Wind -- spirit -- sculpts us, sculpts our character, our consciousness, in ways we can't even know. I am shaped differently from others because of the spiritual processes that have formed me. There is physical erosion that goes on in the desert and spiritual erosion that goes on in our search for the truth, however we define that for ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 TTW: Water in the desert is like prayer in our lives, that contact with some force that is both beyond us and a part of us. I go down to the banks of the Colorado River weekly -and in the summer daily -- and, as I watch that powerful body of water, watch the muscularity held in the currents, I'm always mindful of what it is carrying downriver. We, too, can be carried away. It could be said that we have taken our love inside. We go into our houses, we shut the door, and we have very isolated, lonely lives. When we take our love outside, we not only take it outside with the Earth, with nature, with birds, with animals -- the ravens, vultures and coyotes where I live -- but we take it into community. It is in community that we find another component of our spiritual life. And that has everything to do with service. How do we serve? What are we in the service of? And, again, that's not about heaven, it is about right here, right now. In the community where we live, which is very small, the needs are great. And they can only be met through service and love and compassion and sacrifice. To me, these are powerful components of a religious life, of a spiritual life. I find the older I get, I'm less in need of an organization as much as a community. I don't need the organization of a religion. I do need the community where we can share a spiritual life. And I think there's a subtle difference. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 297 JW: Some would say that people like us -- people whose spirituality arises out of the earth -- have become pagan. Do you think that's true? TTW: I think so often our views of one another, of ourselves, shrink by the smallness of our vocabulary. What's a Christian? What's a pagan? Recently I was in Costa Rica, where I had the privilege of meeting a tribal medicine man. As we were walking in the rainforest he was sweeping the narrow trail of snakes with his feathered staff. He turned and he said, "I am a Christian, cosmologist, scientist, Earthist." And then he laughed. He said, "Does that cover it all?" And I thought, that's what I am, too! You know, whether it's Christian, whether it's pagan, whether it's an ecologist, whether it's a writer, a lover of language, a lover of landscapes, can't we just say that our spirituality resides in our love? If that makes us pagan, perhaps. If that makes us Christian, perhaps. But I love the notion that it's not this or that, but this, that, and all of it. And, in a way, this is how I see spirituality emerging on the planet. The constraints that we see within our religious traditions are not so satisfying. The world has become so large. I almost feel like the doors are blowing off our churches to let life come in and move freely. What we're seeing is that we're taking the best of what we're being offered. There's so much within my own tradition as a Mormon that I deeply cherish. The notion of community, the notion of service, the notion of land, prayer -- things that aren't exclusive to Mormonism, but that are certainly at the core of it. I can't separate my own sense of family from my sense of community from my Mormon roots. But, alongside, I think there's much to be gleaned from Buddhism, much to be gleaned from Catholicism, from that which the Quakers practice, from much that I have been exposed to and learned from my friends who are Indian people. And then there is so much to be gleaned from what we learn from the Earth itself -- from simply walking the land, from the deer, the river, the wind. And so, together, through our traditions, through that which we are exposed, we come to some semblance of a spiritual life, bits and pieces. In my own tradition, I hear my mother saying, "Call it a crazy quilt." --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 JW: Ched Myers wrote a piece in these pages several years ago about "The Bible and earth spirituality" in which he concluded that, "It is not the Bible that hates nature, but rather the culture of modernity." TTW: Exactly. This relates to that process of retrieval and restoration of which I was speaking. I think we're seeing a greening of our churches because our life depends on it. I think it's that simple. If we are concerned about spiritual health, it must be in correspondence with ecological health. Look at people like Paul Gorman or the Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople, who was first to come forward in saying that doing harm to the environment is a sin. And so our consciousness is expanding. We're retrieving our animal mind that knew this in our early stages of development. This is very positive, but it is met with suspicion because it is not human-centered, but life-centered. That's very threatening to a vertical notion of power, a power that isn't based on Earth, but on heaven. So, in a way, we're grounding our spirituality, we're embodying it. And we all know that the body is something that we're terrified of in religion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the 298 masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 299 NATURE WRITING See: Language “I have added to this mix of essays, congressional testimony, newspaper clippings, and journals entries, to create both a chronology and collage for the reader, to feel the swell of a community trying to speak on behalf of wild places that are threatened by development or legislation in the United States Congress.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 9 “In this country, wind is the architect of beauty, movement in the midst of peace. This is what I seek as a writer. Art is created through the collision of ideas, forces that shape, sculpt, and define thought. There is a physicality to beauty, to any creative process. Perhaps an index to misery is when we no longer perceive beauty—that which stirs the heart—or have lost a willingness to embrace change. Does the wind harass sandstone or caress it? . . . There is a peculiar patience to both wind and rock, alongside a flashpoint of the fleeting and the eternal.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 153 “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 “I mean, what is nature writing? When I think about the writers I love: Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Walt Whitman, Melville—it goes beyond gender. They are writers whose language is the embodiment of the natural world, of those primal forces that create ‘the lightning region of the soul’ on the page.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 11 “To speak about nature is to ultimately address issues of health, justice, and sovereignty. Nature writing in the pure sense is not cynical. It can be a literature of hope and faith and how we might move within our communities to heal our severed relations.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 15 300 TL: Your work is part of what seems to be a renaissance in the genre of nature writing. Why do you think this renaissance is occurring, if you think it is? TTW: I think there has always been a strong tradition in American letters of place-based literature, literature that sees landscape as character. Look at Melville, Thoreau, Emerson, Dickinson, Whitman of the nineteenth century and in this century, Mary Austin writing about the desert, Willa Cather writing about the prairies, Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck honoring the land in their novels and short stories. The list goes on and on, poets, too. W.S. Merwin, Galway Kinnell, Mary Oliver. Is this to be called "Nature Writing?" If there is a "renaissance" in the genre as you suggest with contemporary writers particularly in the American West, perhaps it is because we are chronicling the losses of the exploitation we are seeing, that we are trying to grapple with "an ethic of place" and what that means to our communities in all their diversity. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 TL: What influence, if any, do you think such writing is having on the larger public debates about environmental matters? TTW: Writers who see the land for its wisdom such as Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac, and Rachel Carson, Silent Spring made an enormous contribution to public awareness, even policy changes in the government agencies and the establishment of NEPA and the EPA. Writers such as Edward Abbey and Wallace Stegner, I know for myself, inspired my own thinking about place, alongside Peter Matthiessen, Simon Ortiz, Barry Lopez, and Annie Dillard. The diversity of writers today who are not afraid to articulate the truth of our lives, the depth of our humanity, writers such as Denise Chavez, Benjamin Saenz, Chuck Bowden, Gary Nabham, Susan Tweit, Tony Nelson, Linda Hogan, Naomi Shihab Nye, Pico Iyer, Rachel Bagby, too many to name, are giving us a new language to see the world with, new stories born out of individual landscapes that enable us to see the world whole and extend our notion of community to include all life forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings. And these writings in all their eloquence are also political. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 TL: I think a lot of nature writers struggle with the issue of audience. It is easy to write to the converted, to those who read environmental publications and who seek out nature writing. But there is also a great need to reach people who would never seek out this sort of writing, to do the hard work of conversion, as it were. How do you see yourself negotiating this problem? TTW: As a writer, I honestly don't think much about "negotiating the problem" of audience. As I said earlier, I write out of my questions, and I believe that those things which are most personal are in fact, most general. Hopefully, if we write out of our humanity, our vulnerable nature, then some chord is struck with a reader and we touch on the page. I know that is why I read, to find those parts of myself in a story that I can not turn away from. The writers that move me are the ones who create beauty and truth out of their sufferings, their yearnings, their discoveries. It is what I call the patience of words born out of the search. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 I know the struggle from the inside out and I would never be so bold as to call myself a writer. I think that is what other people call you. But I consider myself a member of a community in Salt Lake City, in Utah, in the American West, in this country. And writing 301 is what I do. That is the tool out of which I can express my love. My activism is a result of my love. So whether it's trying to preserve the wilderness in Southern Utah or writing about an erotics of place, it is that same impulse -- to try to make sense of the world, to try to preserve something that is beautiful, to ask the tough questions, the push the boundaries of what is acceptable. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 302 NEW Red “I love sitting by the river. A deep calm washes over me in the face of this fluid continuity where it always appears the same, yet I know each moment of the Rio Colorado is new.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 148 “Boredom could catch up with me. But it never does, only the music, river music, the continual improvisation of water. Perhaps the difference between repetition and boredom lies in our willingness to believe in surprise, the subtle shifts of form that loom large in a trained and patient eye.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 “I think about a night of lovemaking with the man I live with, how it is that a body so known and familiar can still take my breath all the way down, then rise and fall, the river that flows through me, through him, this river, the Colorado River keeps moving, beckoning us to do the same, nothing stagnant, not today, not ever, as my mind moves as the river moves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 “The wind reminds me of endurance. The wind will always return to stir things up, keep things fresh, where nothing can be taken for granted. Life is not static, comfortable, or predictable. An Episcopal prayer readers, ‘Come like the wind . . . and cleanse.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 153 “Now on shore like a freshly born human, upright, I brush my body dry, and turn to see that I am once again standing in front of the Birthing Rock, my Rock of Instruction, that I have sought through my life, defied in my life, even against the will of my own biology.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 162-163 No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “I have watched rockslides, waterfalls, flash floods, and dust devils take these wildlands in hand and transpose them into something new. . . . The Colorado River is raging, scouring, sculpting the landscape. The landscape is changing. We are changing. What are we to make of our own short stay on this beloved blue planet of ours as it rotates and revolves in space?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185 303 Refuge “Maybe it’s the expanse of the sky above and water below that soothes my soul. Or maybe it’s anticipation of seeing something new.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 21 Unspoken Hunger “For a naturalist, traveling into unfamiliar territory is like turning a kaleidoscope ninety degrees. Suddenly, the colors and pieces of glass find a fresh arrangement. The light shifts, and you enter a new landscape in search of the order you know to be there. --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 3 304 ONE, UNITY Pieces of White Shell “Through her generative powers the Navajo can see themselves as an organic whole, one with the earth. Changing Woman is this personification.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 44 Red we are in the process of becoming Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 71 “I think about a night of lovemaking with the man I live with, how it is that a body so known and familiar can still take my breath all the way down, then rise and fall, the river that flows through me, through him, this river, the Colorado River keeps moving, beckoning us to do the same, nothing stagnant, not today, not ever, as my mind moves as the river moves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 Let me tease another word from the heart of a nation: sacrifice. Not to bear children may be its own form of sacrifice. How do I explain my love of children, yet our decision not to give birth to a child? Perhaps it is about sharing. I recall watching my niece, Diane, nine years old, on her stomach, eye to eye with a lizard; neither moved while contemplating the other. In the sweetness of that moment, I felt the curvature of my heart become the curvature of Earth, the circle of family complete. Diane bears the name of my mother and wears my DNA as closely as my daughter would. Must the act of birth be seen only as a replacement for ourselves? Can we not also conceive of birth as an act of the imagination, giving body to a new way of seeing? Do children need to be our own to be loved as our own? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158-159 “I stop. The silence that lives in these sacred hallways presses against me. I relax. I surrender. I close my eyes. The arousal of my breath rises in me like music, like love, as the possessive muscles between my legs tighten and release. I come to the rock in a moment of stillness, giving and receiving, where there is no partition between my body and the body of Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 “I dissolve. I am water. Only my face is exposed like an apparition over ripples. Playing with water. Do I dare? My legs open. The rushing water turns my body and touches me with a fast finger that does not tire. I receive without apology. Time. Nothing to rush, only to feel. I feel time in me. It is endless pleasure in the current. No control. No thought. Simply, here. . . . my body mixes with the body of the water like jazz, the currents like jazz. I too am free to improvise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 201-202 “My fear of heights is overcome by my desire to merge.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 203 305 Refuge “I know the solitude my mother speaks of. It is what sustains me and protects me from my mind. It renders me fully present. I am desert. I am mountains. I am Great Salt Lake. There are other languages being spoke by wind, water, and wings. There are other lives to consider: avocets, stilts, and stones. Peace is the perspective found in patterns. When I see ring-billed gulls picking on the flesh of decaying carp, I am less afraid of death. We are no more and no less than the life that surrounds us. My fears surface in my isolation. My serenity surfaces in my solitude.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 “I am absorbed into the present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 52 “We drifted for hours. Merging with salt water and sky so completely, we were resolved, dissolved, in peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 78 There are dunes beyond Fish Springs. Secrets hidden from interstate travelers. They are the armatures of animals. Wind swirls around the sand and ribs appear. There is musculature in dunes. And they are female. Sensuous curves—the small of a woman’s back. Breasts. Buttocks. Hips and pelvis. They are the natural shapes of Earth. Let me lie naked and disappear. Crypsis. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 “Relief comes only through concentration, losing ourselves in the studied behavior of birds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “I am reminded that what I adore, admire, and draw from Mother is inherent in the Earth. My Mother’s spirit can be recalled simply by placing my hands on the black humus of mountains or the lean sands of desert. Her love, her warmth, and her breath, even her arms around me—are the waves, the wind, sunlight, and water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 214 “Mother and I become one. One breathing organism. Everything we had ever shared in our lives manifested itself in this moment, in each breath. Here and now.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 230 Unspoken Hunger “D. H. Lawrence writes, ‘In every living thing there is a desire for love, for the relationship of unison with the rest of things.’ I think of my own stream of desires, how cautious I have become with love. It is a vulnerable enterprise to feel deeply and I may not survive my affections. Andre Breton says, ‘Hardly anyone dares to face with open eyes the great delights of love.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 Interviews 306 “I write about what I know, and I am inspired by what I don’t know – which is enormous. I believe in the longing for unity, that we may in fact be asking for a new way to think about science in reality are asking for a new way to think about ourselves, that this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 307 OPENING “My heart finds openings in these wetlands, particularly in winter.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 308 ORDER “For a naturalist, traveling into unfamiliar territory is like turning a kaleidoscope ninety degrees. Suddenly, the colors and pieces of glass find a fresh arrangement. The light shifts, and you enter a new landscape in search of the order you know to be there. --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 3 “When in the presence of natural order, we remember the potentiality of life, which has been overgrown by civilization.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 9 309 OTHER There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a OTHER 310 PAIN London: That terror is also related to a certain pain that we can experience -- which you spoke of recently when you said that the pain that we feel when we confront the natural world is a very different one from the mental anguish that many of us live with day in and day out. Williams: The Japanese have a word -- aware -- which, in my understanding is, again, that full range -- both the joy and the sorrow of our life. One does not exist without the other. And I really feel that. It's the delicacy and the strength of our relations. And I feel it most acutely in those intimate moments -- with another person, in a landscape that is beloved. London: But what about this pain that comes from mental anguish? You write of the "distracted and domesticated" life. Why is that so dangerous? Williams: Because then I think we're skating on surfaces. I know it in my own life -- and I think that is where this frustration comes in. It's not the place we want to be, but it's the place our society requires that we be. There is no fulfillment there. So we become numbed, we become drugged, we become less than we are. And I think that we know that. That is the anguish I hear you talking about. Whereas the pain that one feels in the natural world arises out of beauty. The pain that we feel when we are making love with someone is that we know it will end. It's that paradoxical response of joy and suffering. One, as we were saying, cannot exist without the other. They mirror each other. They live in the same house. And it moves us to tears. I recently got back from Hiroshima and it was fascinating to me how the Japanese accommodate this paradox. We were talking about this word aware, which on the page looks like "aware," which speaks to both the pain and the beauty of our lives. Being there, what I perceived was that this is a sorrow that is not a grief that one forgets or recovers from, but it is a burning, searing illumination of love for the delicacy and strength of our relations. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 7 311 PATIENCE ….. The open space of democracy is a landscape that encourages diversity and discourages conformity. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Democracy can also be messy and chaotic. It requires patience and persistence. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b Patience is more powerful than anger. Humor is more attractive than fear. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b Social change takes time. Communities are built on the practice of patience and imagination -- the belief that we are here for the duration and will take care of our relations in times of both drought and abundance. These are the blood and flesh gestures of commitment. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56b At dinner, I asked [Wangari Maathai] what she had learned in these twenty years. She did not hesitate. "Patience. Patience." And then she talked about how often those working on the margins to create the open space of justice and democracy are not the ones who end up inhabiting that space. "We have to step inside that space we have created for political engagement and claim it for ourselves." she said. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Salt Lake City, UT PATIENCE 312 PATRIOTISM “Those who raise questions are told to raise American flags instead. A hollow patriotism has emerged.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 40 Do we have the moral courage to step forward and openly question every law, person, and practice that denies justice toward nature? Do we have the strength and will to continue in this American tradition of bearing witness to beauty and terror which is its own form of advocacy? And do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 I was invited by the literature department of the University of Hiroshima and the Japanese Association for the Study of Literature and the Environment to give a reading. The newspaper Yomiuri Shimbun was sponsoring my visit. I read "The Clan of One-breasted Women," which is the epilogue from my book Refuge, about our family's struggles and adjustment with my mother's death from cancer and its ultimate relationship with nuclear testing. I spoke of what it meant to grow up in a traditional Mormon home, our adherence to strict moral principles and the subtle constraints placed on women in the name of patriarchy. I shared how the price of obedience became too high as I watched the women in my family die common heroic deaths. I spoke about committing civil disobedience with other women from Utah at the Nevada Test Site, of my arrest and release as I sought to both confront and reconcile my government's irresponsible actions. Blind obedience in the name of patriotism or religion ultimately takes our lives. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Hiroshima Journey,” 3 There is the same hope and promise here inside the Mayberry Preserve. With the Colorado River on its northern boundary, Fisher Towers and the Negro Bill Wilderness Study Areas east and west of the orchard and the town of Castle Valley directly to the south, it is a place where human history and natural history converge. I believe we are capable of creating a world that can accommodate the tamed and untamed life, that we can in fact see ourselves as part of a larger biological community, that it is not at odds with a sense of deep democracy but compatible with it. Call it a new patriotism: red rocks, white clouds, blue sky. Is not the wild imagination of open spaces simply an expansion of our pledge of allegiance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” On Mary Austin: “I view her as a sister, soulmate, and a literary mentor, a woman who inspires us toward direct engagement with the land in life as well as on the page.” She was unafraid of political action embracing the rights of Indian people, women, and wildlands. Mary Austin was a poet, a pioneer, and a patriot.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mary Austin’s Ghost,” Red, 166 “Wildness is a deeply American value.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 188 313 How do we engage in conversation at a time when the definition of what it means to be a patriot is being narrowly construed? You are either with us or against us. Discussion is waged in absolutes not ambiguities. Corporations have more access to power than people. We, the people. Fear has replaced discussion. Business practices have taken precedence over public process. It doesn't matter what the United Nations advises or what world opinion may be. America in the early years of the twenty-first century has become a force unto itself. The laws it chooses to abide by are its own. What role does this leave us as individuals within a republic? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 How do we engage in responsive citizenship in times of terror? Do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 21 Patriots act -- they are not handed a piece of paper called by that same name and asked to comply. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Indy: What can we do to raise the issue to a level of national importance? TTW: We need to remember that there are other definitions of natural resources, like courage and beauty. Those of us who believe in the value of wilderness are going to have to get stronger and stronger. There will be a time when speaking out about the environment is going to be seen as anti-patriotic. Maybe we will have to create a new vocabulary. It's not them and us, Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals; it's all of us trying to survive and live together on Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: How do we reconcile the need to conserve wilderness when government is clamoring to divide and conquer the land? TTW: We need to view conservation as an act of democracy. As locals tied to the exploitive susceptibility of the land we live on, we wind up thanking our federal government for saving us from ourselves when they act to preserve wilderness. I know this sounds like a completely idealistic statement, but I believe that a nation's appetite for beauty transcends a state's hunger for greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 5 I think that what I was talking about was that as a woman growing up in a Mormon tradition in Salt Lake City, Utah, we were taught -- and we are still led to believe -- that the most important value is obedience. But that obedience in the name of religion or patriotism ultimately takes our souls. So I think it's this larger issue of what is acceptable and what is not; where do we maintain obedience and law and where do we engage in civil disobedience -- where we can cross the line physically and metaphorically and say, "No, this is no longer appropriate behavior." For me, that was a decision that I had to make and did make personally, to commit civil disobedience together with many other individuals from Utah and around the country and the world, in saying no to nuclear testing. Many people don't realize that we have been testing nuclear bombs underground right up until 1992. President Bush at that time placed a moratorium on all testing in this country and President Clinton has maintained that. 314 --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 4 315 PEACE, PACIFISM, NONVIOLENCE, WAR When I returned home to Castle Valley I went for a long walk on the sage flats. “One does not walk for peace,” I recalled Thich Nhat Hanh saying, “One walks in peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Here in the redrock desert, which now carries the weight of more leases for oil and gas than its fragile red skin can support, due to the aggressive energy policy of the Bush administration, the open space of democracy appears to be closing. The Rocky Mountain states are feeling this same press of energy extraction with scant thought being given to energy alternatives. A domestic imperialism has crept into our country with the same assured arrogance and ideology-of-might that seem evident in Iraq. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a Thich Nhat Hanh: In Congress, in city halls, in statehouses, and schools, we need people capable of practicing deep listening and loving speech. Unfortunately, many of us have lost this capacity. To have peace, we must first have understanding, and understanding is not possible without gentle, loving communication. Therefore, restoring communication is an essential practice for peace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 28-29 October 2004, PEACE, PACIFISM, NONVIOLENCE, WAR 316 PERSERVERANCE ……….. The open space of democracy is a landscape that encourages diversity and discourages conformity. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Democracy can also be messy and chaotic. It requires patience and persistence. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b PERSERVERANCE 317 PILGRIMAGE Red “And then after having made enough pilgrimages to the slickrock to warrant sufficient separation from society’s oughts and shoulds, look again for the novice you were, who asked if the standstone bleeds.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 23 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ walking in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ And when I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77-78 Refuge . . . The next day, I returned and witnessed the same pilgrimage. After all these years of cohabitation, the gulls had finally seized my imagination. I had to follow. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 71 “I continue to watch the gulls. Their pilgrimage from salt water to fresh becomes my own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 76 “If the desert is holy, it is because it is a forgotten place that allows us to remember the sacred. Perhaps that is why every pilgrimage to the desert is a pilgrimage to the self. There is no place to hide, and so we are found.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ When I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 “I pray to birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day— the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 318 “The unknown Utah that some see as a home for used razor blades, toxins, and biological warfare, is a landscape of the imagination, a secret we tell to those who will keep it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 “Mimi and I are on a Great Basin pilgrimage.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 Unspoken Hunger Shells: “They remind me of my natural history, that I was tutored by a woman who courted solitude and made pilgrimages to the edges of our continent in the name of her own pleasure, that beauty, awe, and curiosity were values illuminated in our own house.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 15 O’Keefe: “Her pilgrimages to the canyon were frequent. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 22 “Three years ago, the pilgrimage was aborted. I fell.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 54 “Over the years, I have made pilgrimages to her [Stone Creek Woman]. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 67 “We have made a pilgrimage to the center of the universe, Abbey’s country.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 73 Interviews TL: You have been a strong supporter of the preservation of wilderness in Utah. Can you briefly explain why? TTW: I have been a strong supporter of wilderness preservation in Utah because it feels like these lands deserve protection from the continued rape of the West. That is not to say that I do not have respect for the extractive industry in my state, I do. But I believe some lands are truly special, say the word, "sacred," even--that because of their importance biologically speaking to the migration corridors of animals, the habitat necessary for threatened and delicate species of plants, and the spiritual values they hold for society and inspire: silence, awe, beauty, majesty--that these lands have their own sovereignty that deserves to be honored and defended by the law. I know it is very popular these days in some parts of the Academy to say that "wilderness" is simply a human construct, that wilderness has become irrelevant before it has become resolved. We do not have language that adequately conveys what wildness means, but I do not believe we can "deconstruct" nature. This notion strikes me as a form of intellectual arrogance. Personally, I feel grateful to the national park ideal, places of pilgrimage within North America that allow the public to engage with the natural world. I am grateful to those who enacted the 1964 Wilderness Act and the other pieces of legislation that try to maintain a possible integrity of clean air and water. Wilderness reminds us of restraint, that is a difficult and contentious idea for our society that defines itself on growth and consumption. There is no question this is "an American idea" but until we can come to sustainable vision where we do not exploit everything in sight, it's the best we can do-- Our challenge is how to create sustainable lives and sustainable communities in a dance with wildness. I believe that is what we are 319 working toward in the American West and it is not easy. In fact, it is a long and arduous and at times, difficult process, one that requires a good deal of listening and patience and compassion. I keep thinking of Stegner when he said, "We need a society to match the scenery." --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 320 PLACE Red “It is a simple equation: place + people = politics.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 3 Navajo: “The stories they told animated the country, made the landscape palpable and the people accountable to the health of the land. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place?” “How do the stories we tell about ourselves in relationship to place shape our perceptions of place? Is there room for retelling our own creation stories, even Genesis?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “If a sense of place can give rise to a politics of place, where might an erotics of place lead? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 16 “Just when you believe in your own sense of place, plan on getting lost. It’s not your fault—blame it on Coyote.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 24 When I think of movement and migration, how one finds and creates home, I think of the promise of parrots, the small gestures of faith carried by those who choose to inhabit the Desert West. So little stays in place. When the soul does come to rest, it is usually through devotion. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 132 Unspoken Hunger “Each of us harbors a homeland, a landscape we naturally comprehend. By understanding the dependability of place, we can anchor ourselves as trees.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 12 “We are here to honor Ed, to honor Clarke, Becky . . .; to acknowledge family, tribe, and clan. And it has everything to do with love: loving each other, loving the land. This is a rededication of purpose and place.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 77 Others Slowly, we are coming to realize, one acre at a time, that the spirit of a place preserved enters our own. We are transformed by wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” Interviews TL: Your work is part of what seems to be a renaissance in the genre of nature writing. Why do you think this renaissance is occurring, if you think it is? 321 TTW: I think there has always been a strong tradition in American letters of place-based literature, literature that sees landscape as character. Look at Melville, Thoreau, Emerson, Dickinson, Whitman of the nineteenth century and in this century, Mary Austin writing about the desert, Willa Cather writing about the prairies, Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck honoring the land in their novels and short stories. The list goes on and on, poets, too. W.S. Merwin, Galway Kinnell, Mary Oliver. Is this to be called "Nature Writing?" If there is a "renaissance" in the genre as you suggest with contemporary writers particularly in the American West, perhaps it is because we are chronicling the losses of the exploitation we are seeing, that we are trying to grapple with "an ethic of place" and what that means to our communities in all their diversity. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 Interviews TL: One of your early books, Pieces of Whiteshell, is set in the Navajo nation. What did you learn from the Navajo? How did your experience with them influence your direction as a writer? TTW: One of the things I learned from the Dine when I taught on the Navajo Reservation was the power of stories inherent in the land. It made me wonder as Anglos, what stories we tell that evoke a sense of place, of landscape and community. Again, we have much to learn from Indian people and the long-time Hispanic families who have inhabited these regions in the West for centuries about what it means to live in place. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 I can tell you that in Refuge the question that was burning in me was, How do we find refuge in change? Everything around me that was familiar had been turned inside out with my mother's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and with the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge being flooded. With Pieces of White Shell, it was, What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place? With An Unspoken Hunger it was really, How do we engage in community? Am I an artist or am I an activist? So it was, How does a poetics of place translate into a politics of place? And in A Desert Quartet the question that was burning inside me was a very private one: How might we make love to the land? --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1-2 I know the struggle from the inside out and I would never be so bold as to call myself a writer. I think that is what other people call you. But I consider myself a member of a community in Salt Lake City, in Utah, in the American West, in this country. And writing is what I do. That is the tool out of which I can express my love. My activism is a result of my love. So whether it's trying to preserve the wilderness in Southern Utah or writing about an erotics of place, it is that same impulse -- to try to make sense of the world, to try to preserve something that is beautiful, to ask the tough questions, the push the boundaries of what is acceptable. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 I think it's what we're used to. Home is where we have a history. So when I'm standing in the middle of the salt flats, where you swear that the pupils of your eyes have turned white because of the searing heat that is rising from the desert, I think of my childhood, I think of my mother, my father, my grandparents; I think of the history that we hold there and it is beautiful to me. But it is both a blessing and a burden to be rooted in place. It's recognizing the pattern of things, almost feeling a place before you even see it. In Southern Utah, on 322 the Colorado plateau where canyon walls rise upward like praying hands, that is a holy place to me. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 I really believe that to stay home, to learn the names of things, to realize who we live among... The notion that we can extend our sense of community, our idea of community, to include all life forms -- plants, animals, rocks, rivers and human beings -- then I believe a politics of place emerges where we are deeply accountable to our communities, to our neighborhoods, to our home. Otherwise, who is there to chart the changes? If we are not home, if we are not rooted deeply in place, making that commitment to dig in and stay put ... if we don't know the names of things, if don't know pronghorn antelope, if we don't know blacktail jackrabbit, if we don't know sage, pinyon, juniper, then I think we are living a life without specificity, and then our lives become abstractions. Then we enter a place of true desolation. I remember a phone call from a friend of mine who lives along the MacKenzie River. She said, "This is the first year in twenty that the chinook salmon have not returned." This woman knows the names of things. This woman is committed to a place. And she sounded the alarm. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 London: You mentioned Pico Iyer. He has described home as the sense of a bleak landscape -- something that inspires the sort of melancholy that only a truly familiar place can evoke. That seems so very different from what you are saying. Williams: Having lived in Utah all of my life, I can tell you that in many ways I know of no place more lonely, no place more unfamiliar. When I talk about how it is both a blessing and a burden to have those kinds of roots, it can be terribly isolating, because when you are so familiar, you know the shadow. My family lives all around me. We see each other daily. It's very, very complicated. I think that families hold us together and they split us apart. I think my heart breaks daily living in Salt Lake City, Utah. But I still love it. And that is the richness, the texture. So when Pico talks about home being a place of isolation, I think he's right. But it's the paradox. I think that's why I so love Great Salt Lake. Every day when I look out at that lake, I think, "Ah, paradox" -- a body of water than no one can drink. It's the liquid lie of the desert. But I think we have those paradoxes within us and certainly the whole idea of home is windswept with paradox. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 3 This is my place. It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. What does that mean to finally commit to a place, to a people, to a community? It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean you can live with patience, because you’re not going to go away. It also means making a commitment to bear witness, and engaging in ‘casserole diplomacy’ by sharing food among neighbors, by playing with the children and mending feuds and caring for the sick. These kinds of commitments are real. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322-323 323 POLITICS Lorenzo Becawtini, a businessman in Florence, joined us. "Antiglobalization is not a slogan," he said, "it is a rigorous reconfiguration of democracy that places power and creativity back into the hands of villagers and townspeople, providing them with as many choices as possible." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55b can we have such a reconfiguration with the current political and social structure? Will electing a Democratic presidential candidate have any significant impact on this? POLITICS 324 POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE see also: healing Do we have the moral courage to step forward and openly question every law, person, and practice that denies justice toward nature? Do we have the strength and will to continue in this American tradition of bearing witness to beauty and terror which is its own form of advocacy? And do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 325 POWER ……… Open Space of Democracy Power may be a game of power and money to those who have it, but for those of us who don’t, politics is the public vehicle by which we exercise our voices within a democratic society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Here is my question: what might a different kind of power look like, feel like? And can power be distributed equitably among ourselves, even beyond our own species? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a [Discussion with Gale Norton, Secretary of the Interior] What I remember is saying how weary we all are in the American West, that we feel we have no say, that public process has been thwarted in the name of oil and gas priorities. She spoke of their community collaboration projects and how we had to find ways to balance the various demands on the land. She promised to send me a copy of their brochure (which she did). We were both on edge. I fear I went into a mad rant, but have to trust some part of me held back my wild frustration in an attempt to be gracious and respectful of the office she holds. The space between us was vast and tense and palpable. We were both women of the west, from the west, Colorado and Utah. Neighbors. What shaped our different views of landscape? What would we agree on? And at what point in our development did we forge such contrary allegiances? This is the conversation I wish we could have had, that maybe one day we can have. I would be curious to know what we would agree on. Instead, the awkward silences exposed both of our ideologies, our beliefs, our hopes. The difference was one of power. She didn't have to talk to me. I was desperate to talk to her. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 8 October 2004, Salt Lake City, UT 326 POWER 327 PRAYER Red “To find one’s own equilibrium,” he tells me this morning by the river. “That is what I want to learn.” He finds rocks that stand on their own and bear the weight of others. An exercise in balance and form. Downriver, I watch him place a thin slab of sandstone on a rock pedestal, perfectly poised. He continues placing pebbles on top, testing the balance. In another sculpture, he leans two flat rocks against each other like hands about to pray. The stillness of stones, their silence, is a rest not against the music of the river. --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 150 Essay: “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 184ff “I believe we need wilderness in order to be more complete human beings, to not be fearful of the animals that we are . . . an animal who understands a sense of humility when watching a grizzly overturn a stump with its front paw to forage for grubs . . . an animal who weeps over the sheer beauty of migrating cranes . . . an animal who has not forgotten what it means to pray before the unfurled blossom of the sacred datura, remembering the source of all true visions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187 Refuge “I pray to birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day— the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 I say a silent prayer for the curlew, remembering the bond of two days before when I sat in their valley nurtured by solitude. I ask the curlew for cinnamon-barred feathers and take them. They do not come easily. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 152 In Mormon religion, formal blessings of healing are given by men through the Priesthood of God. women have no outward authority. But within the secrecy of sisterhood we have always bestowed benisons upon our families. Mother sits up. I lay my hands upon her head and in the privacy of women, we pray. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 158 In Mexico on the Day of the Dead. “Songs were sung. More prayers were offered. And slowly my individual sorrow was absorbed into a sea of collective tears. We all wept.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 277 Others 328 What I know in my bones is that I forget to take time to remember what I know. The world is holy. We are holy. All life is holy. Daily prayers are delivered on the lips of breaking waves, the whisperings of grasses, the shimmering of leaves. We are animals, living, breathing organisms engaged not only in our own evolution but the evolution of a species that has been gifted with nascence. Nascence--to come into existence; to be born; to bring forth; the process of emerging. Even in death we are being born. And it takes time. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” To make the abstract real, to be unafraid to speak of what we love in the language of story, to remember we are engaged in bloodwork, one day at a time. The presence of personal engagement, its own form of prayer. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting it Right” “There has been a positive respond from the Mormon hierarchy of women because they see in this book the values of family and community and prayer and faith that are all honored within the Mormon tradition.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 124-125 329 PRESENCE ……………. A long-tailed jaeger sits next to me. I try not to move. With my legs crossed and my eyes barely open, I enter the space of meditation. A wolf howls. My body leaps. The jaeger flies. Fear floods my heart. Presence creates presence. I am now alert. To feel yourself prey is to be shocked back into the reality of the Arctic's here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b PRESENCE 330 PRESENT Red “Present. Completely present. My eyes focus on one current in particular, a small eddy that keeps circling back on itself. Around and around, a cottonwood leaf spins; a breeze gives it a nudge, and it glides downriver, this river braided with light.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 “I dissolve. I am water. Only my face is exposed like an apparition over ripples. Playing with water. Do I dare? My legs open. The rushing water turns my body and touches me with a fast finger that does not tire. I receive without apology. Time. Nothing to rush, only to feel. I feel time in me. It is endless pleasure in the current. No control. No thought. Simply, here. . . . my body mixes with the body of the water like jazz, the currents like jazz. I too am free to improvise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 201-202 Refuge “I know the solitude my mother speaks of. It is what sustains me and protects me from my mind. It renders me fully present. I am desert. I am mountains. I am Great Salt Lake. There are other languages being spoke by wind, water, and wings. There are other lives to consider: avocets, stilts, and stones. Peace is the perspective found in patterns. When I see ring-billed gulls picking on the flesh of decaying carp, I am less afraid of death. We are no more and no less than the life that surrounds us. My fears surface in my isolation. My serenity surfaces in my solitude.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 “We have lost track of time in a birdwatchers’ trance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 49 “I am absorbed in the present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 52 “We are all anxious, except Mother. She says it doesn’t matter what they find, all we have is now.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 65 Mother: “You live each moment and when you see the sunset at the end of the day, you are so grateful to be part of that experience.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 84 Mother: “For the first time in my life, I started to be fully present in the day I was living. I was alive. My goals were no longer long-range plans, they were daily goals, much more meaningful to me because at the end of each day, I could evaluate what I had done.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 116 “I am suspended between the past and future, held by a spider’s filament stretched across a river.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 161 331 “You still don’t understand, do you?” Mother said to me. “It doesn’t matter how much time I have left. All we have is now. I wish you could all accept that and let go of your projects. Just let me live so I can die.” Here words cut through me like broken glass. This afternoon, she said, “Terry, to keep hoping for life in the midst of letting go is to rob me of the moment I am in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 161 Mother “was quietly walking with the present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 191 Mother: “It doesn’t really matter, does it?” she said. “Let’s just take one day at a time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 200 Mother: “Something extraordinary is happening to me. The only way I can describe it to you is that I am moving into a realm of pure feeling. Pure color.” . . . “Maybe that’s what this business of eternal life is . . .” She took my hand again. “No, no, you’re missing it—it’s right here, right now.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 217 “In my heart I say, “Let go . . . let go . . . follow the light . . .” There is a crescendo of movement, like walking up a pyramid of light. And it is sexual, the concentration of love, of being fully present. Pure feeling. Pure color. I can feel her spirit rising through the top of her head. Her eyes focus on mine with total joy—a fullness that transcends words. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 231 Unspoken Hunger “We are fully present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 5 “The two herons who flew over me have now landed downriver. I do not believe they are fearful of love. I do not believe their decisions are based on a terror of loss. They are not docile, loyal, or obedient. They are engaged in a rich, biological context, completely present. They are feathered Buddhas casting blue shadows on the snow, fishing on the shortest day of the year.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 64 Interviews If we are at all sensitive to the life around us, to one another's pains and joys, to the beauty and fragility of the Earth, it is all about being broken open, allowing ourselves to step out from our hardened veneers and expose our core, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in our emotional response to the world. And how can we not respond? This is what I mean by being "broken open." To engage. To participate. To love. Any one of these actions of the heart will lead to a personal transformation that bears collective gifts. I also believe that until we have touched death or traveled into some of the dark corners of our own soul and held those we love in their own shadowed moments, that we may not be as willing to "be broken open." We protect our safest selves as long as possible. And then it happens, in an instant, who knows what may spark the change, our facade breaks, we stand in the center of our life, bare-bodied and beautiful, naked, exposed, 332 courageous. Fear is replaced by being fully present in the moment at hand. We are alive. We are vulnerable. We are teachable once again. Call it a humility in the deepest sense. We allow ourselves to be touched. The false self, the fearful self is shattered. We enter the current of life. This for me is the rupture of ego and the beginning of empathy. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 5 JW: It is kind of like taking religion indoors into a climate-controlled sanctuary. In doing that, there's a terrible negative result for a politics of place. TTW: That's right, because we can abdicate our responsibilities. That was one of the aspects of Hieronymus Bosch's triptych, The Garden of Earthly Delights, that seized me. It seems that, as Christians, it is very easy for us to contemplate heaven and to contemplate hell. It's not so easy for us to be engaged on the Earth. I was so struck by the painting's side panels of heaven and hell, and then the center panel, of Earth, where you see this wild engagement -- even love-making -- with the Earth. With the birds on the same physical scale as the human beings, there is this wonderful confluence of consciousness in that center panel that we forget. We lose track of the central delights of a spiritual life -- hand on rock, body in water, the sweet conversations that exist when we're completely present in place, home, Earth. Again, not that separation of heaven and hell, past and future. The present is the gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 “Our culture has chosen to define erotic in very narrow terms, terms that largely describe pornography or voyeurism, the opposite of a relationship that asks for reciprocity. One of the things I was interested in with Desert Quartet was to explore the use of language in its pure sense, to use the word ‘erotic’ to intensify, to expand our view of Eros, to literally be in relationship on the page. When we’re in relation, whether it is with a human being, with an animal, or with the desert, I think there is an exchange of the erotic impulse. We are engaged, we are vulnerable, we are both giving and receiving, we are fully present in that moment, and we are able to heighten our capacity for passion which I think is the full range of emotion, both the joy and sorrow that one feels when in wild country. To speak about Eros in a particular landscape is to acknowledge our capacity to love Other.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 3-4 “I believe there is an unspeakable joy in being fully present and responding totally to the moment. For me, that’s were joy dwells and feeling lies; in fact, I think that’s the well of all strength and wisdom—knowing that all we have, all we will ever have, is right now; that’s the gift.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Peterson (Bloomsbury) interview Jenson: What does erotic mean to you? Terry Tempest Williams: It means ‘in relation.” Erotic is what those deep relations are and can be that engage the whole body—our heart, our mind, our spirit, our flesh. It is that moment of being exquisitely present.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 310 “To be able to have that core of serenity in the middle of huge oscillations; to be present in those waves and emotional tides, but to possess a solidarity of soul. That’s what I would like to hold for myself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 314 333 “It has to do with seizing the moment, perceiving what is necessary in that moment.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 324 334 PRESERVATIONISM Perhaps she was remembering the emotion in Olaus's voice when he testified before the Senate two decades earlier and said: We long for something more, something that has a mental, a spiritual impact on us. This idealism, more than anything else, will set us apart as a nation striving for something worthwhile in the universe. It is inevitable, if we are to progress as people in the highest sense, that we shall become ever more concerned with the saving of the intangible resources, as embodied in this move to establish the Arctic Wildlife Range. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a What are we willing to give our lives to if not the perpetuation of the sacred? Can we continue to stand together in our collective wisdom and say, these particular lands are inviolable, deserving protection by law and the inalienable right of safe passage for all beings that dwell here? Wilderness designation is the promise of this hope held in trust. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a PRESERVATIONISM 335 QUAKER JW: Some would say that people like us -- people whose spirituality arises out of the earth -- have become pagan. Do you think that's true? TTW: I think so often our views of one another, of ourselves, shrink by the smallness of our vocabulary. What's a Christian? What's a pagan? Recently I was in Costa Rica, where I had the privilege of meeting a tribal medicine man. As we were walking in the rainforest he was sweeping the narrow trail of snakes with his feathered staff. He turned and he said, "I am a Christian, cosmologist, scientist, Earthist." And then he laughed. He said, "Does that cover it all?" And I thought, that's what I am, too! You know, whether it's Christian, whether it's pagan, whether it's an ecologist, whether it's a writer, a lover of language, a lover of landscapes, can't we just say that our spirituality resides in our love? If that makes us pagan, perhaps. If that makes us Christian, perhaps. But I love the notion that it's not this or that, but this, that, and all of it. And, in a way, this is how I see spirituality emerging on the planet. The constraints that we see within our religious traditions are not so satisfying. The world has become so large. I almost feel like the doors are blowing off our churches to let life come in and move freely. What we're seeing is that we're taking the best of what we're being offered. There's so much within my own tradition as a Mormon that I deeply cherish. The notion of community, the notion of service, the notion of land, prayer -- things that aren't exclusive to Mormonism, but that are certainly at the core of it. I can't separate my own sense of family from my sense of community from my Mormon roots. But, alongside, I think there's much to be gleaned from Buddhism, much to be gleaned from Catholicism, from that which the Quakers practice, from much that I have been exposed to and learned from my friends who are Indian people. And then there is so much to be gleaned from what we learn from the Earth itself -- from simply walking the land, from the deer, the river, the wind. And so, together, through our traditions, through that which we are exposed, we come to some semblance of a spiritual life, bits and pieces. In my own tradition, I hear my mother saying, "Call it a crazy quilt." --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 JW: Women, in particular, seem to speak of that sort of crazy-quilt religion. But within the churches, of course, such an approach has mostly been rejected as unorthodox. TTW: With the message that you need the structure that orthodoxy supplies -- that without that structure, if we pick and choose the spiritual beliefs that are comfortable to us, then we're somehow missing discipline, missing sacrifice. But I think life is a discipline we don't need to seek. Each of us is aware every single day of the discipline upon us, about the sacrifice, the suffering. I don't feel that I have to have that imposed on me through an orthodoxy. I'm very mindful of that just being human. What I do struggle with is that when we practice our own spiritual life -- however we define that -- we miss the collective rituals. We miss the delight and strength and comfort that comes with our relations with others, and that comes with building a community. Here in Castle Valley, as the millennium approached, there was a particular cave where meditations were being practiced. People in the community would come and sit for an hour, and then another person would come and sit for an hour. I took great solace in that -- that as a community, surrounded by these buttes and mesas in the desert, we were mindful of the passage of time in the sense of deep time. 336 Then, last Sunday was the monthly Fast and Testimony Meeting at my church. What that means is you fast for 24 hours, mindful of what feeds the body, mindful of hunger, even a spiritual hunger, and in that gesture you find a sense of humility. Then you come together as a community and you break the fast with the sacrament, with the body and blood of Christ. And then the time is ours to contemplate and to share what we've been thinking, feeling, something that's happened during the week that moved us. So it's really a time of stories, much like a Quaker meeting. And I just loved it! I realized that this is something within my religious tradition that I cherish. I love listening to the members' stories. And especially after forgoing food, I realized the stories feed us in the same ways that food feeds us. And that that can only be found in the embrace of community. And the ritual of sacrament means something to me. Again, I find both solace in the tradition and also outside the tradition. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman interview, 4 JW: One of the stories that's interesting to me, since you bring up your Mormon heritage, is the story of the Mormon people coming in search of land, and then finding the land -"This is the place!" -- in the Salt Lake valley. Has that heritage of a people seeking a sacred land influenced Utah's public policy in the direction of conservation? TTW: It's a complicated question. I started thinking about the conservation ethic in Utah, specifically inherent in the Mormon religion, when we were confronted with a crisis in our state. And that was the crisis of wilderness. You'll remember in 1994 when the Republicans took over the House and Senate with the Gingrich revolution, how everything shifted. Our political delegation in Utah couldn't have been more thrilled, with Orrin Hatch and Representative Jim Hansen at the helm. It was decided that for once and for all they would end the wilderness debate in Utah and because they had a majority they thought that this would move through quickly. To Governor Mike Leavitt's credit, he said we needed to have a public process. And so for six months there were hearings held in every county all over the state of Utah that had wilderness under consideration in Bureau of Land Management land. Over 70 percent of Utahns wanted more wilderness, not less. In June, Hatch and Bennett, the Senators from our state, as well as Hanson in the House, came up with what was called "The Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995." This said that 1.7 million acres out of 22 million acres of BLM land would be designated as wilderness. Those of us within the conservation community were appalled. The citizens' proposal had been for 5.7 million acres. So a nasty fight ensued in the halls of Congress. Bottom line, people spoke out, not only in Utah, but all over the country, and the bill died. And, because of the political climate judged by a very astute Bill Clinton, the Grand Staircase Esconde National Monument was created with almost 2 million acres of wilderness in Utah. Our Senators would have had us believe that if you were Mormon, you were Republican, you were anti-wilderness; if you were non-Mormon you were a Democrat, you were pro-wilderness. Those of us within the Mormon culture said: That cannot be true! So we set out to find stories that would show otherwise. We created a book called New Genesis -- A Mormon Reader on Land and Community that contains about 40 stories from members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who spoke about how nature informed their spirituality as a Mormon or, conversely, about how Mormonism has enhanced their view of nature. It was very, very moving to see the different discussions, everything from the natural history of the quilt, to a treatise on air pollution, to a conversion story of the former mayor of Salt Lake City, a world-class rock climber, who, hand on stone, felt the spirit of God and joined the Mormon church. In each of these essays they tied the theme to a Mormon scripture, or to something in the doctrine, so that we were 337 trying to pull our history of a land ethic through time to where we are now at the beginning of this new millennium. We also took a deep look at our history to say: What was the ethic of Brigham Young when he came across the plains during the Mormon exodus, came into the Salt Lake Valley, and said, "This is the place!"? We found that there was a very strong conservation ethic. That over the pulpit, at Temple Square, in the Tabernacle, there were talks given by general authorities that warned the saints of overgrazing, warned about using too much water and upheld the value of water conservation. Somewhere along the line we have forgotten that. It's been an interesting exercise of retrieval. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 4 338 QUESTION, INQUIRY Question. Stand. Speak. Act. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 Question. Stand. Speak. Act. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b In the open space of democracy, we engage the qualities of inquiry, intuition, and love as we become a dynamic citizenry, unafraid to exercise our shared knowledge and power. We can dissent. We can vote. We can step forward in times of terror with a confounding calm that will shatter fear and complacency. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b QUESTION, INQUIRY 339 RADICAL ………. Open Space of Democracy Revolutionary patience. This community of Americans never let go of their wild, unruly faith that love can lead to social change. The Muries believed that the protection of wildlands was the protection of natural processes, the unseen presence in wilderness. The Wilderness Act, another one of their dreams, was signed in 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b The power of nature is the power of a life in association. Nothing stands alone. On my haunches, I see a sunburst lichen attached to limestone; algae and fungi are working together to break down rock into soil. I cannot help but recognize a radical form of democracy at play. Each organism is rooted in its own biological niche, drawing its power from its relationship to other organisms. An equality of being contributes to an ecological state of health and succession. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a Looking over my shoulder from the rise on the bridge, all I could see was an endless river of people walking, many hand in hand, all side by side, peacefully, united in place with a will for social change. Michelangelo was among them, as art students from Florence raised replicas of his Prigioni above their heads, the unfinished sculptures of prisoners trying to break free from the confines of stone. Machiavelli was among them, as philosophy students from Rome carried his words: "There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things." Leonardo da Vinci was among them, his words carrying a particularly contemporary sting: "And by reason of their boundless pride... there shall be nothing remaining on the earth or under the earth or in the waters that shall not be pursued and molested or destroyed." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a Obviously the reference to Machiavelli calling for a new order suggests that all radical change may not be progressive The hundreds of thousands of individuals who walked together in the name of social change could be seen as the dignified, radical center walking boldly toward the future. As an American in Florence, I wondered, how do we walk with the rest of the world when our foreign policies seem to run counter to the rising global awareness of a world hungry for honest diplomacy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 56a If we cannot begin to embrace democracy as a way of life: the right to be educated, to think, discuss, dissent, create, and act, acting in imaginative and revolutionary ways . . . . if we fail to see the necessity of each of us to participate in the formation of an ethical life . . . if we cannot bring a sense of equity and respect into our homes, our marriages, our schools, and our churches, alongside our local, state, and federal governments, then democracy simply becomes, as Dewey suggests, “a form of idolatry,” as we descend into the basement of nationalism. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a 340 RADICAL 341 REAL, UNREAL, SURREAL, ILLUSION Red Desert as teacher. Desert as mirage. Desert as illusion, largely our own. What you come to see on the surface is not what you come to know. Emptiness in the desert is the fullness of space, a fullness of space that eliminates time. The desert is time, exposed time, geologic time. One needs time in the desert to see. --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 5-6 “Slowly she raised her body like a lizard. . . . Her hands, like serpents, encouraged primal sounds as she arched forward and back with the grasses. She was the wind that inspired change. They were a tribe creating a landscape where lines between the real and imagined were thinly drawn.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Woman’s Dance,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 53-54 Refuge Brooke to Terry: “It’s all an illusion. Nothing is as it appears. The air refracting the sun’s rays, transforming sand into water; make sense?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 85-86 Letter from Mother to Terry: “More and more, I am realizing the natural world is my connection to myself. Landscape brings me simplicity. . . . I find my peace, my solitude, in the time I am alone in nature. . . . The natural world is a third party in our marriage. It holds us close and lets us revel in the intimacy of all that is real.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 86-87 I want to see the lake as Woman, as myself, in her refusal to be tamed. The State of Utah may try to dike her, divert her waters, build roads across her shores, but ultimately, it won’t matter. She will survive us. I recognize her as a wilderness, raw and self-defined. Great Salt Lake strips me of contrivances and conditioning, saying, “I am not what you see. Question me. Stand by your own impressions.” We are taught not to trust our own experiences. Great Salt Lake teaches me experience is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 92 “It is one of those curious days when time and season are out of focus, when what you know I hidden behind the weather.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 141 Mother dying: “Nothing seems real. The family is insulated from the outside world by the walls of this house. It feels holy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 213 342 RED Desert as teacher. Desert as mirage. Desert as illusion, largely our own. What you come to see on the surface is not what you come to know. Emptiness in the desert is the fullness of space, a fullness of space that eliminates time. The desert is time, exposed time, geologic time. One needs time in the desert to see. --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 5-6 “reminding us through its blood red grandeur just how essential wild country is to our psychology, how precious the desert is to the soul of America.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 The woman wallowing in the red clay mud in “The Bowl.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Bowl,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 35 “I finally inched my way down, wrapping my hands around the trunk. Feet on Earth. I took out my water bottle and saturated the roots. Pink sand turned red. I left the desert in a state of wetness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 107-108 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112 “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “The redrock desert of southern Utah teaches me over and over again: red endures. Let it not be my rage or anger that endures, but a passion for the bloodroot country of my burning soul that survives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 138 “The flicker flies. A fire burns. Loves is as varied as the spectrum red. Break my heart with the desert’s silence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 “This river has muscle when flexed against stone, carved stone, stones that appear as waves of rock, secret knowledge known only through engagement. I am no longer content to sit, but stand and walk, walk to the river, enter the river, surrender my body to water now red, red is the Colorado, blood of my veins. “ 343 --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music, Red, 150 To move through wild country in the desert or in the woods is to engage in a walking meditation, a clearing of the mind, where we remember what we have so easily lost. Time. Time and space. The shape of time and space are different in wilderness. Time is something encountered through the senses not imposed upon the mind. We walk, we sit, we eat, we sleep, we look, we smell, we touch, we hear, we taste our own feral nature. What we know in a wild place is largely translated through the body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185-186 The American West is burning, millions of acres are burning. It is the summer of 2000. It is the summer of 2001. It is Sept. 11: New York City is burning; the Pentagon is burning [later addition] with apocalyptic skies, where the sun glows red and round through gray-black clouds. The fire is now internal, moving underground. What have we suppressed that has led us to this flame-jumping, blazing inferno? Strike the match. Stare into the flame. Dare to be burned by the heat of our own ambitious hearts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Strike Moment,” Red, 191-192 (with later addition from the internet) Refuge Her fall and scar. “I have been marked by the desert. The scar meanders down the center of my forehead like a red, clay river. A natural feature on a map. I see the land and myself in context.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 243-244 “Brooke and I slip our red canoe into Half-Moon Bay. Great Salt Lake accepts us like a lover.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 275 Unspoken Hunger O’Keefe: “It is as though O’Keefe is standing with all her passion inside a red-hot circle with everything around her in motion.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 22 Others There is the same hope and promise here inside the Mayberry Preserve. With the Colorado River on its northern boundary, Fisher Towers and the Negro Bill Wilderness Study Areas east and west of the orchard and the town of Castle Valley directly to the south, it is a place where human history and natural history converge. I believe we are capable of creating a world that can accommodate the tamed and untamed life, that we can in fact see ourselves as part of a larger biological community, that it is not at odds with a sense of deep democracy but compatible with it. Call it a new patriotism: red rocks, white clouds, blue sky. Is not the wild imagination of open spaces simply an expansion of our pledge of allegiance? 344 --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” I turn to my own small perspective, a perspective that focuses on the place where I live and love, to the harvest moon casting blue light over the desert, where color still registers on the red cliff face of sandstone. I can’t sleep. On my back on our porch, I watch the moon with my binoculars for hours, and think about the miracle of life, simply that. Earth is our charismatic leader, the moon, the mountain lion who slips into the layers of sandstone like a passing shadow. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” Interview TTW: How do we create that middle ground in a world that is so often defined as black and white? It may require a new vocabulary. Indy: Perhaps the language of red? TTW: Yes. How do we find red in a world that is often defined in terms of black and white? The subtleties of our own perceptions are being lost to time. There's no time to enter the deep color of red. In a very real way, it's the color of the country that I live in, the red rock desert of southern Utah with its red rocks, red rivers, red sand. Red is blood. It's passion. It's the body broken open. It's love. There's danger in red. It's the color of rage, of destruction. To see red over time is to see red as a way to transformation. I'm asking how do we learn to live in the center of red. How do we act out of our own hearts? How do we stand inside the integrity of our own souls? How do we speak the language of red? How can we find and speak a language indigenous to the heart? --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3-4 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 345 REFORM The Muries and their circle of friends challenged the ethical structure of the United States government and institutions such as the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Olaus and his brother, Adolph, changed the public's perception of predators through their research on coyotes in Yellowstone and wolves in Denali. Olaus supported his colleague Rachel Carson when she was under fire from the Department of Agriculture following the publication of Silent Spring. Mardy campaigned endlessly for the protection of wild Alaska; they changed laws and made new ones, even the Wilderness Act of 1964. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, REFORM 346 REFUGE, RETREAT Leap Walking around the shoreline, stepping over heaps of garbage braided into the bulrushes, the familiar grief I know at home returns. I cam to Spain to get away from my torn heart ripped open every time I see the landscapes I love ravaged, lost, and opened for development. There are too many of us, six billion and rising, our collective impact on fragile communities is deadly. --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 115 Refuge “The Bird Refuge was a sanctuary for my grandmother and me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 15 “I fled for Bear River, for the birds, wishing someone would rescue me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 68 “How do you find refuge in change?” I asked quietly. Mimi put her broad hand on mine. “I don’t know. . .” she whispered. “You just go with it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 119 Her inner retreat of the past few months has momentarily been replaced by openness. “It’s all inside,” she said. “I just needed to get away, to be reminded by the desert of who I am and who I am not. The exposed geologic layers in the redrock mirror the depths within myself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 136 “I am retreating into the Wasatch Mountains. I cannot travel west to Great Salt Lake. It is too exposed, too wicked and hot with one-hundred degree temperatures.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 159 “Refuge once again, this time in the reverie of southern Utah.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 167 “I am slowly, painfully discovering that my refuge is not found in my mother, my grandmother, or even the birds of Bear River. My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 178 On not having children: “I am afraid of losing my solitude, my time to retreat and my time to create.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 220-221 “This is the secret den of my healing, where I come to whittle down my losses.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 347 “I pull away from the lake, pause, and rest easily in the sanctuary of sage.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 240 “The landscapes we know and return to become places of solace. We are drawn to them because of the stories they tell, because of the memories they hold, or simply because of the sheer beauty that calls us back again and again.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 “The Great Salt Lake is a refuge for these migrants.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 264 “Refuge is not a place outside myself. Like the lone heron who walks the shores of Great Salt Lake, I am adapting as the world is adapting.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 267 . . . Together [with Brooke] we sprinkle marigold petals into Great Salt Lake. My basin of tears. My refuge. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 280 348 RELIGION, SACRED, HOLY, SPIRITUAL Red “Erosion. Perhaps this is what we need, an erosion of all we have held secure. A rupture of all we believed sacred, sacrosanct. A psychic scouring of our extended ideals such as individual property rights in the name of economic gain at the expense of ecological health.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 160 After defeat of dam on Green River: “The preservation and protection of wilderness became part of our sacred responsibility, a responsibility that each generation will carry.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 182 Refuge “These small owls pursue their prey religiously at dusk.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 9 “I was raised to believe in a spirit world, that life exists before the earth and will continue to exist afterward, that each human being, bird, and bulrush, along with all other life forms had a spirit life before it came to dwell physically on the earth. Each occupied an assigned sphere of influence, each has a place and a purpose.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 14 “Mimi whispered to me how ibises are the companions of gods. ‘Ibis escorts Thoth, the Egyptian god of wisdom and magic. . . .’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 18 Mother: “During the surgery, I had a spiritual experience that changed my life. Just before I awakened in the recovery room, I was literally in the arms of my Heavenly Father.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 83 “The heartbeats I felt in the womb—two heartbeats, at once, my mother’s and my own— are heartbeats of the land. All of life drums and beats, at once, sustaining a rhythm audible only to the spirit. I can drum my heartbeat back into the Earth, beating, hearts beating my hands on the Earth—like a ruffed grouse on a long, beating, hearts beating—like a bittern in the marsh, beating, hearts beating. My hands on the Earth beating, heart beating. I drum back my return.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 85 “At dusk, I left the swan like a crucifix on the sand. I did not look back.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 122 “Mother and I break bread for the geese. We leave small offerings throughout the meadow. It is bread made by the monks from stone-ground grain. She puts her arm back through mine as we walk shoulder-high in sunflowers.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 193 “To acknowledge that which we cannot see, to give definition to that which we do not know, to create divine order out of chaos, is the religious dance.” 349 --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 196 Faith defies logic and propels us beyond hope because it is not attached to our desires. Faith is the centerpiece of a connected life. It allows us to live by the grace of invisible strands. It is a belief in a wisdom superior to our own. Faith becomes a teacher in the absence of fact. The four trees we planted will grow in the absence of my mother. Faith holds their roots, the roots I can no longer see.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 198 Mother dying: “Nothing seems real. The family is insulated from the outside world by the walls of this house. It feels holy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 213 Mother dying. “It is sacred time.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 213 Once out at the lake, I am free. Native. Wind and waves are like African drums driving the rhythm home. I am spun, supported, and possessed by the spirit who dwells here. Great Salt Lake is a spiritual magnet that will not let me go. Dogma doesn’t hold me. Wildness does. A spiral of emotion. It is ecstasy without adrenaline. My hair is tossed, curls are blown across my face and eyes, much like the whitecaps cresting over the waves. Wind and waves. Wind and waves. The smell of brine is burning my lungs. I can taste it on my lips. I want more brine, more salt. Wet hands. I lick my fingers, until I am sucking them dry. I close my eyes. The smell and taste combined reminds me of making love in the Basin; flesh slippery with sweat in the heat of the desert. Wind and waves. A sigh and a surge. I pull away from the lake, pause, and rest easily in the sanctuary of sage. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 240 On cancer: “Diane, it is one of the most spiritual experiences you will ever encounter.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 282 Unspoken Hunger On her brother: “He reminds me of what it means to live and love with a broken heart; how nothing is sacred, how everything is sacred. He was a weather vane—a storm and a clearing at once.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 38 “And I felt the presence of angels, even my mother, her wings spread above me like a hovering dove.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 Open Space of Democracy We can ask ourselves within the context and specificity of our own lives, how fear can be transformed into courage, silence transformed into honest expression, and spiritual isolation quelled through a sense of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 350 Beauty is presence and it resides in the Brooks Range. . . . These are not mountains but ramparts of raw creation. The retreat of gods. Crags, cirques, and glaciers sing hymns to ice. Talus slopes in grays and taupes become the marbled papers, creased and folded, inside prayer books. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 38a <Rock People> They can mark the threshold of sacred space. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 39b My eyes catch the illumined wings of a tern, an Arctic tern, fluttering, foraging above the river -- the embodiment of grace, suspended. The tern animates the vast indifference with its own vibrant intelligence. Black cap; blood-red beak pointed down; white body with black-tipped wings. With my eyes laid bare, I witness a bright thought in big country. While everyone is sleeping, the presence of this tern hovering above the river, alive, alert, engaged, becomes a vision of what is possible. On this night, I met the Arctic Angel and vowed the 22,000 miles of her migratory path between the Arctic and Antarctica would not be in vain. I will remember her. No creature on Earth has spent more time in daylight than this species. No creature on Earth has shunned darkness in the same way as the Arctic tern. No creature carries the strength and delicacy of determination on its back like this slight bird. If air is the medium of the Spirit, then the Arctic tern is its messenger. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, This windswept country is so revealing that you see what you are spiritually, morally. --Benjamin Wyer Bragonier --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 43b Perhaps she was remembering the emotion in Olaus's voice when he testified before the Senate two decades earlier and said: We long for something more, something that has a mental, a spiritual impact on us. This idealism, more than anything else, will set us apart as a nation striving for something worthwhile in the universe. It is inevitable, if we are to progress as people in the highest sense, that we shall become ever more concerned with the saving of the intangible resources, as embodied in this move to establish the Arctic Wildlife Range. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a As the Brooks Range recedes behind us, I am mindful that Mardy is approaching 101 years of age. She has never shed her optimism for wild Alaska. I am half her age and my niece, Abby, is half of mine. We share her passion for this order of quiet freedom. America's wildlands are vulnerable and they will always be assailable as long as what we value in this nation is measured in monetary terms, not spiritual ones. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a What are we willing to give our lives to if not the perpetuation of the sacred? Can we continue to stand together in our collective wisdom and say, these particular lands are inviolable, deserving protection by law and the inalienable right of safe passage for all beings that dwell here? Wilderness designation is the promise of this hope held in trust. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a 351 Beauty is another word for God. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a {On Whitman and Lincoln} Both men were purveyors of a spiritual democracy borne out of love and loss. Both men articulated the wisdom of their hearts borne out of direct engagement. . . . --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b It is time to ask, when will our national culture of self-interest stop cutting the bonds of community to shore up individual gain and instead begin to nourish communal life through acts of giving, not taking? It is time to acknowledge the violence rendered to our souls each time a mountaintop is removed to expose a coal vein in Appalachia or when a wetland is drained, dredged, and filled for a strip mall. And the time has come to demand an end to the wholesale dismissal of the sacredness of life in all its variety and forms, as we witness the repeated breaking of laws, and the relaxing of laws, in the sole name of growth and greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a We have made the mistake of confusing democracy with capitalism and have mistaken political engagement with a political machinery we all understand to be corrupt. It is time to resist the simplistic, utilitarian view that what is good for business is good for humanity in all its complex web of relationships. A spiritual democracy is inspired by our own sense of what we can accomplish together, honoring an integrated society where the social, intellectual, physical, and economic well-being of all is considered, not just the wealth and health of the corporate few. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a "To care is neither conservative nor radical," writes John Ralston Saul. "It is a form of consciousness." To be in the service of something beyond ourselves -- to be in the presence of something other than ourselves, together -- this is where we can begin to craft a meaningful life where personal isolation and despair disappear through the shared engagement of a vibrant citizenry. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59a Others “But perhaps Rachel Carson’s true courage lies in her willingness to align science with the sacred, to admit that her bond toward nature is a spiritual one.” 352 --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 Interviews “… is to read the world whole and holy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 11 “the essential element of legacy is story, the umbilical cord that connects the past, present, and future. When you tell a story it’s as though a third person has entered the room, and you become accountable for that sacred knowledge. Story binds us to community. Part of the reason I could write Refuge, which is so intensely personal, is my belief that inside story the personal is transformed into the general, the universal. Story becomes the conscience of our communities.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122-123 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 JW: It is kind of like taking religion indoors into a climate-controlled sanctuary. In doing that, there's a terrible negative result for a politics of place. TTW: That's right, because we can abdicate our responsibilities. That was one of the aspects of Hieronymus Bosch's triptych, The Garden of Earthly Delights, that seized me. It seems that, as Christians, it is very easy for us to contemplate heaven and to contemplate hell. It's not so easy for us to be engaged on the Earth. I was so struck by the painting's side panels of heaven and hell, and then the center panel, of Earth, where you see this wild engagement -- even love-making -- with the Earth. With the birds on the same physical scale as the human beings, there is this wonderful confluence of consciousness in that center panel that we forget. We lose track of the central delights of a spiritual life -- hand on rock, body in water, the sweet conversations that exist when we're completely present in place, home, Earth. Again, not that separation of heaven and hell, past and future. The present is the gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 JW: I've read that the etymology of "ecology" is "ecos," which means home. TTW: Yes. Again, we are most mindful of those relationships that we live with every single day. I love the fact that I live in an erosional landscape. You watch the wind and you realize as you see the sand swirling about you that arches are still being created, that this 353 isn't something that belongs to the geologic past. Metaphorically, that is also very powerful. To me, a spiritual life is also part of an erosional life. We are eroding the façade. Wind -- spirit -- sculpts us, sculpts our character, our consciousness, in ways we can't even know. I am shaped differently from others because of the spiritual processes that have formed me. There is physical erosion that goes on in the desert and spiritual erosion that goes on in our search for the truth, however we define that for ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 JW: I was thinking about what you say in your essay about Stone Creek Woman, this apparition of redrock and maidenhair ferns that you've seen in a waterfall on Stone Creek in the Grand Canyon: "I've made a commitment to visit Stone Creek Woman as often as I can. I believe she monitors the floods and droughts of the Colorado plateau, and I believe she can remind us that water in the West is never to be taken for granted." You then go on to say: "Water in the American West is blood. Rivers, streams, creeks become arteries, veins, capillaries. Dam, dyke, or drain any of them and somewhere silence prevails. No water, no fish; no water, no plants; no water, no life. Nothing breathes. The land/body becomes a corpse. Stone Creek Woman crumbles and blows away." TTW: Water in the desert is like prayer in our lives, that contact with some force that is both beyond us and a part of us. I go down to the banks of the Colorado River weekly -and in the summer daily -- and, as I watch that powerful body of water, watch the muscularity held in the currents, I'm always mindful of what it is carrying downriver. We, too, can be carried away. It could be said that we have taken our love inside. We go into our houses, we shut the door, and we have very isolated, lonely lives. When we take our love outside, we not only take it outside with the Earth, with nature, with birds, with animals -- the ravens, vultures and coyotes where I live -- but we take it into community. It is in community that we find another component of our spiritual life. And that has everything to do with service. How do we serve? What are we in the service of? And, again, that's not about heaven, it is about right here, right now. In the community where we live, which is very small, the needs are great. And they can only be met through service and love and compassion and sacrifice. To me, these are powerful components of a religious life, of a spiritual life. I find the older I get, I'm less in need of an organization as much as a community. I don't need the organization of a religion. I do need the community where we can share a spiritual life. And I think there's a subtle difference. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 JW: Some would say that people like us -- people whose spirituality arises out of the earth -- have become pagan. Do you think that's true? TTW: I think so often our views of one another, of ourselves, shrink by the smallness of our vocabulary. What's a Christian? What's a pagan? Recently I was in Costa Rica, where I had the privilege of meeting a tribal medicine man. As we were walking in the rainforest he was sweeping the narrow trail of snakes with his feathered staff. He turned and he said, "I am a Christian, cosmologist, scientist, Earthist." And then he laughed. He said, "Does that cover it all?" And I thought, that's what I am, too! You know, whether it's Christian, whether it's pagan, whether it's an ecologist, whether it's a writer, a lover of language, a lover of landscapes, can't we just say that our spirituality resides in our love? If that makes us pagan, perhaps. If that makes us Christian, perhaps. But I love the notion that it's not 354 this or that, but this, that, and all of it. And, in a way, this is how I see spirituality emerging on the planet. The constraints that we see within our religious traditions are not so satisfying. The world has become so large. I almost feel like the doors are blowing off our churches to let life come in and move freely. What we're seeing is that we're taking the best of what we're being offered. There's so much within my own tradition as a Mormon that I deeply cherish. The notion of community, the notion of service, the notion of land, prayer -- things that aren't exclusive to Mormonism, but that are certainly at the core of it. I can't separate my own sense of family from my sense of community from my Mormon roots. But, alongside, I think there's much to be gleaned from Buddhism, much to be gleaned from Catholicism, from that which the Quakers practice, from much that I have been exposed to and learned from my friends who are Indian people. And then there is so much to be gleaned from what we learn from the Earth itself -- from simply walking the land, from the deer, the river, the wind. And so, together, through our traditions, through that which we are exposed, we come to some semblance of a spiritual life, bits and pieces. In my own tradition, I hear my mother saying, "Call it a crazy quilt." --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 JW: Women, in particular, seem to speak of that sort of crazy-quilt religion. But within the churches, of course, such an approach has mostly been rejected as unorthodox. TTW: With the message that you need the structure that orthodoxy supplies -- that without that structure, if we pick and choose the spiritual beliefs that are comfortable to us, then we're somehow missing discipline, missing sacrifice. But I think life is a discipline we don't need to seek. Each of us is aware every single day of the discipline upon us, about the sacrifice, the suffering. I don't feel that I have to have that imposed on me through an orthodoxy. I'm very mindful of that just being human. What I do struggle with is that when we practice our own spiritual life -- however we define that -- we miss the collective rituals. We miss the delight and strength and comfort that comes with our relations with others, and that comes with building a community. Here in Castle Valley, as the millennium approached, there was a particular cave where meditations were being practiced. People in the community would come and sit for an hour, and then another person would come and sit for an hour. I took great solace in that -- that as a community, surrounded by these buttes and mesas in the desert, we were mindful of the passage of time in the sense of deep time. Then, last Sunday was the monthly Fast and Testimony Meeting at my church. What that means is you fast for 24 hours, mindful of what feeds the body, mindful of hunger, even a spiritual hunger, and in that gesture you find a sense of humility. Then you come together as a community and you break the fast with the sacrament, with the body and blood of Christ. And then the time is ours to contemplate and to share what we've been thinking, feeling, something that's happened during the week that moved us. So it's really a time of stories, much like a Quaker meeting. And I just loved it! I realized that this is something within my religious tradition that I cherish. I love listening to the members' stories. And especially after forgoing food, I realized the stories feed us in the same ways that food feeds us. And that that can only be found in the embrace of community. And the ritual of sacrament means something to me. Again, I find both solace in the tradition and also outside the tradition. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman interview, 4 355 JW: Ched Myers wrote a piece in these pages several years ago about "The Bible and earth spirituality" in which he concluded that, "It is not the Bible that hates nature, but rather the culture of modernity." TTW: Exactly. This relates to that process of retrieval and restoration of which I was speaking. I think we're seeing a greening of our churches because our life depends on it. I think it's that simple. If we are concerned about spiritual health, it must be in correspondence with ecological health. Look at people like Paul Gorman or the Bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople, who was first to come forward in saying that doing harm to the environment is a sin. And so our consciousness is expanding. We're retrieving our animal mind that knew this in our early stages of development. This is very positive, but it is met with suspicion because it is not human-centered, but life-centered. That's very threatening to a vertical notion of power, a power that isn't based on Earth, but on heaven. So, in a way, we're grounding our spirituality, we're embodying it. And we all know that the body is something that we're terrified of in religion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 5 JW: Yes. And because natural forces are so strongly seen as feminine, some people are saying that the crisis we're in, in terms of the planet, is the stuff of ecofeminism. TTW: Again, we get into semantics. Certainly, when we look at the history of religions, we see a removal of the Feminine. But what I hope we come to is not a worship of the masculine or the feminine, but the wholeness of both. All we seem able to say is masculine or feminine, this or that. Again, I think of the two side panels of Bosch's triptych, heaven or hell. But how do we live in the center panel, how do we live on Earth? How do we live in that place of wholeness, that place of integration? That's what I'm interested in. And that's why I always return to the land, because I think we see that there. We see what it means to live in relationship, in harmony, even in predator-prey relationships, that there is a natural order to things. I think that in many of our religions, that natural order was broken. We feel the yearning to restore what was broken within ourselves. But how do we begin to not only make love, but make love to the world, when all that is thwarted with this heaviness of guilt and ought and should that institutionalized religion imposes? That's why I think it's healthy to have the doors of the churches blown open, to take our religions outside and not be frightened of the erosion that will be brought by spiritual winds. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 6 RELIGION, SPIRITUAL, SACRED 356 RELIGION AND POLITICS THEMES Spiritual resistance “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 Integration of politics and religion London: In this culture we tend to draw very distinct lines between the spiritual world and the political world. And yet you don't seem to see any separation between them. You've said that for you it's all one -- the spiritual and the political, your home life and your landscape. Williams: I think we learn that lesson well by observing the natural world. There is no separation. That is the wonderful ecological mind that Gregory Bateson talks about -- the patterns that connect, the stories that inform and inspire us and teach us what is possible. Somewhere along the line we have become segregated in the way we think about things and become compartmentalized. Again, I think that contributes to our sense of isolation and our lack of a whole vision of the world -- seeing the world whole, even holy. I can't imagine a secular life, a spiritual life, an intellectual life, a physical life. I mean, we would be completely wrought with schizophrenia, wouldn't we? So I love the interrelatedness of things. We were just observing out at Point Reyes a whole colony of elephant seals and it was so deeply beautiful, and it was so deeply spiritual. It was fascinating listening to this wonderful biologist, Sarah Allen Miller, speak of her relationship to these beings for 20 years. How the males, the bulls, have this capacity to dive a mile deep, can you imagine? And along the way they sleep while they dive. And I kept thinking, "And what are their dreams?" And the fact that they can stay under water for up to two hours. Think of the kind of ecological mind that an elephant seal holds. Then looking at the females, these unbelievably luxurious creatures that were just sunbathing on this crescent beach with the waves breaking out beyond them. Then they would just ripple out into the water in these blue-black bodies, just merging with the water. It was the most erotic experience I've ever seen. We were there for hours. No separation between the spiritual and the physical. It was all one. I had the sense that we had the privilege of witnessing other -- literally another culture, that extension of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 5 Environmentalism is political and spiritual TL: I suppose it is fair to say that most people do not equate Mormon culture with environmentalism. Yet you are very forthright in being both a Mormon and an environmentalist. What do you see as the connection between the two? TTW: It is true, many people would say "Mormon environmentalist" is an oxymoron, but that is only because of the stereotype and veneer that is attached to the religion. Our history is a history of community created in the name of belief. If you go back and look at the teachings of Brigham Young, his journals and sermons, they are filled with very strong notions of sustainability. Early brethren of the Mormon Church gave rousing speeches on the perils of overgrazing and the misappropriation of water in the desert. Unfortunately, much of this ethic has been lost as the Mormon Church has entered modernity. Like so 357 many other facets of American culture it has assumed a corporate and consumptive stance with an emphasis on growth and business. But I believe there is change inside the membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. Bill Smart, another Mormon, and I put together an anthology of Mormon essays that celebrate community and landscape, with Gibbs Smith, a Utah publisher. We asked around 40 members of the Church in good standing, if they would write a piece about how their spiritual views have enhanced their views of nature, or conversely, how nature has added to their sense of Mormon theology. What emerged was an evocative testament New Genesis: A Mormon Reader on Land and Community, a very diverse (and I must say surprising in its content), collection of wide-ranging ideas, that we hope will be a touchstone for other Mormons to contemplate their relationship to place. It could be said that the environmental movement in the past has been a political movement. I believe it is becoming a spiritual one. Native peoples have always known this. It is my hope that my own people within the Mormon culture will remember what our own roots are to the American West and the responsibility that comes with settlement. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 Spirituality of Environmental Responsibility After defeat of dam on Green River: “The preservation and protection of wilderness became part of our sacred responsibility, a responsibility that each generation will carry.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold,” Red, 182 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 JW: It is kind of like taking religion indoors into a climate-controlled sanctuary. In doing that, there's a terrible negative result for a politics of place. TTW: That's right, because we can abdicate our responsibilities. That was one of the aspects of Hieronymus Bosch's triptych, The Garden of Earthly Delights, that seized me. It seems that, as Christians, it is very easy for us to contemplate heaven and to contemplate hell. It's not so easy for us to be engaged on the Earth. I was so struck by the painting's side panels of heaven and hell, and then the center panel, of Earth, where you see this wild engagement -- even love-making -- with the Earth. With the birds on the same physical scale as the human beings, there is this wonderful confluence of consciousness in that center panel that we forget. We lose track of the central delights of a spiritual life -- hand 358 on rock, body in water, the sweet conversations that exist when we're completely present in place, home, Earth. Again, not that separation of heaven and hell, past and future. The present is the gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 2 Mormon integration of nature and civics “My ancestors moved and settled as a result of spiritual beliefs. They gathered in the belief of an integrated life where nature, culture, religion, and civic responsibility were woven in the context of family and community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 Language of law and science integrated with spiritual language of the heart “As we step over the threshold of the twenty-first century, let us acknowledge that the preservation of wilderness is not so much a political process as a spiritual one, that the language of law and science used so successfully to define and defend what wilderness has been in the past century must now be fully joined with the language of the heart to illuminate what these lands mean to the future.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187-188 RELIGION AND POLITICS 359 RELIGION AND SOCIAL - THEMES Mormon social vision “My ancestors moved and settled as a result of spiritual beliefs. They gathered in the belief of an integrated life where nature, culture, religion, and civic responsibility were woven in the context of family and community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 Spiritual significance of community TTW: Water in the desert is like prayer in our lives, that contact with some force that is both beyond us and a part of us. I go down to the banks of the Colorado River weekly -and in the summer daily -- and, as I watch that powerful body of water, watch the muscularity held in the currents, I'm always mindful of what it is carrying downriver. We, too, can be carried away. It could be said that we have taken our love inside. We go into our houses, we shut the door, and we have very isolated, lonely lives. When we take our love outside, we not only take it outside with the Earth, with nature, with birds, with animals -- the ravens, vultures and coyotes where I live -- but we take it into community. It is in community that we find another component of our spiritual life. And that has everything to do with service. How do we serve? What are we in the service of? And, again, that's not about heaven, it is about right here, right now. In the community where we live, which is very small, the needs are great. And they can only be met through service and love and compassion and sacrifice. To me, these are powerful components of a religious life, of a spiritual life. I find the older I get, I'm less in need of an organization as much as a community. I don't need the organization of a religion. I do need the community where we can share a spiritual life. And I think there's a subtle difference. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 3 360 “I write about what I know, and I am inspired by what I don’t know – which is enormous. I believe in the longing for unity, that we may in fact be asking for a new way to think about science in reality are asking for a new way to think about ourselves, that this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 > all three together A community’s collective rituals as central to spirituality JW: Women, in particular, seem to speak of that sort of crazy-quilt religion. But within the churches, of course, such an approach has mostly been rejected as unorthodox. TTW: With the message that you need the structure that orthodoxy supplies -- that without that structure, if we pick and choose the spiritual beliefs that are comfortable to us, then we're somehow missing discipline, missing sacrifice. But I think life is a discipline we don't need to seek. Each of us is aware every single day of the discipline upon us, about the sacrifice, the suffering. I don't feel that I have to have that imposed on me through an orthodoxy. I'm very mindful of that just being human. What I do struggle with is that when we practice our own spiritual life -- however we define that -- we miss the collective rituals. We miss the delight and strength and comfort that comes with our relations with others, and that comes with building a community. Here in Castle Valley, as the millennium approached, there was a particular cave where meditations were being practiced. People in the community would come and sit for an hour, and then another person would come and sit for an hour. I took great solace in that -- that as a community, surrounded by these buttes and mesas in the desert, we were mindful of the passage of time in the sense of deep time. Then, last Sunday was the monthly Fast and Testimony Meeting at my church. What that means is you fast for 24 hours, mindful of what feeds the body, mindful of hunger, even a spiritual hunger, and in that gesture you find a sense of humility. Then you come together as a community and you break the fast with the sacrament, with the body and blood of Christ. And then the time is ours to contemplate and to share what we've been thinking, feeling, something that's happened during the week that moved us. So it's really a time of stories, much like a Quaker meeting. And I just loved it! I realized that this is something within my religious tradition that I cherish. I love listening to the members' stories. And especially after forgoing food, I realized the stories feed us in the same ways that food feeds us. And that that can only be found in the embrace of community. And the ritual of sacrament means something to me. Again, I find both solace in the tradition and also outside the tradition. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman interview, 4 Community’s sacred knowledge “the essential element of legacy is story, the umbilical cord that connects the past, present, and future. When you tell a story it’s as though a third person has entered the room, and you become accountable for that sacred knowledge. Story binds us to community. Part of the reason I could write Refuge, which is so intensely personal, is my belief that inside story the personal is transformed into the general, the universal. Story becomes the conscience of our communities.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122-123 361 Community and ethics of place Seeing Earth from space: “we recognize our home, our family, our community, and therefore become fiercely accountable for the landscape that we are a part of. We can begin to adopt an ethics of place.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 60-61 > all three together Need for a new social structure Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 JW: You've written, in fact, that that sort of awareness leads to a life that includes a spiritual dimension. Here's a quote from Leap: "Spiritual beliefs are not alien from Earth but rise out of its very soil. Perhaps our first gestures of humility and gratitude were extended to Earth through prayer -- the recognition that we exist by the grace of something beyond ourselves. Call it God; call it Wind; call it a thousand different names." Many people, I think particularly of many Christians I know, wouldn't think that their spiritual beliefs rise out of Earth. In fact, I think what we've seen is that Christians and other organized faiths in recent times have steadfastly resisted that earth connection. TTW: And yet, I think we've always had that connection. It's the ground beneath our feet. It's what feeds us. It's what sustains us. It is not abstract. It is red soil between our fingers. We forget that. So often in our religious traditions our view is not Earth-centered but heaven-bound. It takes us out of our responsibility here on Earth. It takes us out of our bodies. And, therefore, it fosters the illusion that we are not of earth, of body, of this place, here and now. --Terry Tempest Williams, Wortman Interview, 1 RELIGION AND SOCIAL - THEMES 362 RESISTANCE Leap “The stakes are high. High on the ridge. Pull the stakes. One by one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done. Take the wooden stakes out of the Earth into our hands one vertical the other horizontal tie them together with orange plastic tape turn them into crosses plant them in the soil see how rage grows see he rage flies dragonflies be calm they say sit at the table they say come into consensus they say with the power vested in them they say oh say can you see my body a clear cut my voice a serpent wrapped around the tree the power vested in me like a fire burning.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 126 Red These lands “will not remain ecologically intake without our own vigilance, without our willingness to protect what is wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “The region of the American West shares common ground with the South: each has found its voice in loss. The South was forever shaped by the Civil War, and today we in the West are in the midst of our own. It is not a battle over issues of slavery. It is a battle over public and private uses of land, what will be developed and what will remain sovereign. Guns are replaced by metaphorical monkey wrenches and shovels.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 7 “I have added to this mix of essays, congressional testimony, newspaper clippings, and journals entries, to create both a chronology and collage for the reader, to feel the swell of a community trying to speak on behalf of wild places that are threatened by development or legislation in the United States Congress.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 9 “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 “Each of us belongs to a particular landscape, one that informs who we are, a place that carries our history, our dreams, holds us to a moral line of behavior that transcends thought. And in each of these places, home work is required, a participation in public life to make certain all is not destroyed under the banner of progress, expediency, or ignorance. We cannot do it alone. This is the hope of a bedrock democracy, standing our ground in the places we love, together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 “Red is a gesture and bow to my homeland.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 I want to keep my words wild so that even if the land and everything we hold dear is destroyed by shortsightedness and greed, there is a record of beauty and passionate participation by those who saw what was coming. 363 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 The canyons of southern Utah are giving birth to a Coyote Clan – hundreds, maybe even thousands, of individuals who are quietly subversive on behalf of the land. And they are infiltrating our neighborhoods in the most respectable ways, with their long, bushy tails tucked discreetly inside their pants or beneath their skirts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25-26 End of “Perfect Kiva.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Perfect Kiva,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 50-51 “This country’s wisdom still resides in its populace, in the pragmatic and generous spirits of everyday citizens who have not forgotten their kinship with nature. They are individuals who will forever hold the standard of the wild high, knowing in their hearts that natural engagement is not an interlude but a daily practice, a commitment each generation must renew in the name of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70 “What we have witnessed in the ongoing struggle to protect America’s Redrock Wilderness is that responsive citizenship matters. Individual voices are heard, and when collectively spoken they reverberate on canyon walls. This passion for the wild endures and can lead to social change long after a specific piece of legislation has been forgotten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70-71 “Statement” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 72 ff Breyten Breytenback, “Tortoise Steps”: “The revolutionary question is: What about the Other? . . . It is not enough to rail against the descending darkness of barbarity . . . One can refuse to play the game. A holding action can be fought. Alternatives must be kept alive. While learning the slow art of revolutionary patience.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 84 “I resist. Who will follow? Must someone follow? --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 94 > resist father and family “Learning the slow art of revolutionary patience, I listen to my family.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 98 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112-113 <Pulling orange survey tape off the branches & pulling out the developer’s stakes.> Just as we finished, a swarm of dragonflies descended upon us, winged crosses, translucent blue. We believed these small acts of defiance could raise the dead. 364 Now, I do not. They were, in fact, acts of madness, desperation. And I am not proud of what I have done. I do not believe we can stop growth any more than we can shunt our own evolution. It is our nature to expand. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 119 > I disagree Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 Refuge “Restraint is the steel partition between a rational mind and a violent one. I knew rage. It was fire in my stomach with no place to go.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 12 I walked calmly over to their truck and leaned my stomach against their door. I held up my fist a few inches from the driver’s face and slowly lifted my middle finger to the sky. “This is for you—from the owls and me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 12-13 “Nothing inspires me more than a little controversy. We are in the business of waking people up to their surroundings. A museum is a good place to be quietly subversive on behalf of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 44 “In Mormon culture, authority is respected, obedience is revered, and independent thinking is not. I was taught as a young girl not to ‘make waves’ or ‘rock the boat.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 285 “One night, I dreamed women from all over the world circled a blazing fire in the desert. They spoke of change, how they hold the moon in their bellies and wax and wane with its phases. They mocked the presumption of even-tempered beings and made promises that they would never fear the witch inside themselves. The women danced wildly as sparks broke away from the flames and entered the night sky as stars.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 365 “The women danced and drummed and sang for weeks, preparing themselves for what was to come. They would reclaim the desert for the sake of their children, for the sake of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “A contract had been made and broken between human beings and the land. A new contract was being drawn by the women, who understood the fate of the earth as their own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 “The time had come to protest with the heart, that to deny one’s genealogy with the earth was to commit treason against one’s soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 The women invade the town, despite being pregnant. They were arrested. When asked why they came and who they were, they replied, “We are mothers and we have come to reclaim the desert for our children.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 I crossed the line at the Nevada Test Site and was arrested with nine other Utahns for trespassing on military lands. They are still conducting nuclear tests in the desert. Ours was an act of civil disobedience. But as I walked toward the town of Mercury, it was more than a gesture of peace. It was a gesture on behalf of the Clan of One-Breasted Women. As one officer cinched the handcuffs around my wrists, another frisked my body. She found a pen and a pad of paper tucked inside my left boot. “And these?” she asked sternly. “Weapons,” I replied. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 “I love the challenge of living in a small community where the politics of place is no longer an abstraction but something very real, as you face your neighbor honestly over land-use issues not hundreds of miles away, but in your backyard.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 306 “Peace requires generational vigilance, never to be taken for granted.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 307 Unspoken Hunger The canyons of southern Utah are giving birth to a Coyote Clan – hundreds, maybe even thousands, of individuals who are quietly subversive on behalf of the land. And they are infiltrating our neighborhoods in the most respectable ways, with their long, bushy tails tucked discreetly inside their pants or beneath their skirts. Members of the Clan are not easily identified, but there are clues. You can see it in their eyes. They are joyful and they are fierce. They can cry louder and laugh louder than anyone on the planet. And they have enormous range. The Coyote Clan is a raucous bunch: they have drunk from desert potholes and belched forth toads. They tell stories with such virtuosity that you’ll swear you have been in the presence of preachers. 366 The Coyote Clan is also serene. They can float on their backs down the length of any river or lose entire afternoons in the contemplation of stone. Members of the Clan court risk and will dance on slickrock as flash floods erode the ground beneath their feet. It doesn’t matter. They understand the earth re-creates itself day after day. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 78 “Lee Milner’s gaze through her apartment window out over the cattails was not unlike the heron’s. It will be this stalwartness in the face of terror that offers wetlands their only hope. When she motioned us down in the grasses to observe the black-crowned night heron still fishing at dusk, she was showing us the implacable focus of those who dwell there. This is our first clue to residency.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 44 Others “These are Rachel’s sons and daughters who are taking the facts and fueling them with passionate resistance to protect the integrity of their hometowns and communities.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 54 “In 2002, Rachel Carson’s spirit is among us. Like her, we can be both fierce and compassionate at once. We can remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America’s landscape and it is precisely that character that will protect it. We can carry a healthy sense of indignation within us that will shatter the complacency that has seeped into our society in the name of all we have lost, knowing there is still so much to be saved.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 57 Do we have the moral courage to step forward and openly question every law, person, and practice that denies justice toward nature? Do we have the strength and will to continue in this American tradition of bearing witness to beauty and terror which is its own form of advocacy? And do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 We cannot afford to take anything for granted in the name of wildness. Surely there is a line that cannot be crossed and that line is drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Conservation is a generational stance where vows to preserve an ecological integrity in the interest of community must be renewed over and over again. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Do we have it in us to rise up against the current political winds that say unabashedly, "the only thing we are interested in conserving is this blessed American way of life." --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 We have within us our own natural resources, a renewable energy for the wild fueled by the power of our hearts. There is no crisis here. We can gather together and stand, a million or more, as witnesses for the wild. We can raise our arms high above our heads, gently curve our elbows and bow, bow to the caribou, in the name of love. 367 --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Interviews “I have made a personal commitment to stop nuclear testing. My pen is my weapon, and as an act of hope or ritual, I choose to cross the line and commit civil disobedience. . . . You do what you can on whatever level you can, and you do what you do best. And by the power of our minds and our own hearts, we can write the world. This is about passion and presence. . . . Our obligation as writers is to make people uncomfortable, to push the borders of what is possible.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 Others Neighbors. Shared concerns. A respect for our differences and strength in what we share. This is happening throughout America. I honestly believe this. I look to the people who are standing their ground in the Bolsa Chica and Ballona Wetlands in the Los Angeles Basin against tremendous opposition, billion-dollar developments, movie moguls like Steven Spielberg, oil interests, and freeways. Look to a small group of neighbors in Yaak, Montana, the North Woods in New England, restoration work in the prairies of the Midwest, urban gardens, the incredible work of local land trusts to preserve and protect what they see as critical habitat for wildlife and the human spirit—all these examples provide models of compassion and savvy, at once. Faith and stamina. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” 368 RESISTANCE - THEMES Resistance as part of her writing “I have added to this mix of essays, congressional testimony, newspaper clippings, and journals entries, to create both a chronology and collage for the reader, to feel the swell of a community trying to speak on behalf of wild places that are threatened by development or legislation in the United States Congress.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 9 “I resist. Who will follow? Must someone follow? --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 94 > resist father and family The need for social change “What we have witnessed in the ongoing struggle to protect America’s Redrock Wilderness is that responsive citizenship matters. Individual voices are heard, and when collectively spoken they reverberate on canyon walls. This passion for the wild endures and can lead to social change long after a specific piece of legislation has been forgotten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70-71 Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112-113 Passionate participation I want to keep my words wild so that even if the land and everything we hold dear is destroyed by shortsightedness and greed, there is a record of beauty and passionate participation by those who saw what was coming. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 Coyote Clan The canyons of southern Utah are giving birth to a Coyote Clan – hundreds, maybe even thousands, of individuals who are quietly subversive on behalf of the land. And they are 369 infiltrating our neighborhoods in the most respectable ways, with their long, bushy tails tucked discreetly inside their pants or beneath their skirts. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25-26 “This country’s wisdom still resides in its populace, in the pragmatic and generous spirits of everyday citizens who have not forgotten their kinship with nature. They are individuals who will forever hold the standard of the wild high, knowing in their hearts that natural engagement is not an interlude but a daily practice, a commitment each generation must renew in the name of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70 The canyons of southern Utah are giving birth to a Coyote Clan – hundreds, maybe even thousands, of individuals who are quietly subversive on behalf of the land. And they are infiltrating our neighborhoods in the most respectable ways, with their long, bushy tails tucked discreetly inside their pants or beneath their skirts. Members of the Clan are not easily identified, but there are clues. You can see it in their eyes. They are joyful and they are fierce. They can cry louder and laugh louder than anyone on the planet. And they have enormous range. The Coyote Clan is a raucous bunch: they have drunk from desert potholes and belched forth toads. They tell stories with such virtuosity that you’ll swear you have been in the presence of preachers. The Coyote Clan is also serene. They can float on their backs down the length of any river or lose entire afternoons in the contemplation of stone. Members of the Clan court risk and will dance on slickrock as flash floods erode the ground beneath their feet. It doesn’t matter. They understand the earth re-creates itself day after day. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 78 BATTLE FOR THE WEST “The region of the American West shares common ground with the South: each has found its voice in loss. The South was forever shaped by the Civil War, and today we in the West are in the midst of our own. It is not a battle over issues of slavery. It is a battle over public and private uses of land, what will be developed and what will remain sovereign. Guns are replaced by metaphorical monkey wrenches and shovels.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 7 Acts of resistance “The stakes are high. High on the ridge. Pull the stakes. One by one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done. Take the wooden stakes out of the Earth into our hands one vertical the other horizontal tie them together with orange plastic tape turn them into crosses plant them in the soil see how rage grows see he rage flies dragonflies be calm they say sit at the table they say come into consensus they say with the power vested in them they say oh say can you see my body a clear cut my voice a serpent wrapped around the tree the power vested in me like a fire burning.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 126 “It’s called theft in the name of preservation,” he says. “The ladder is held hostage at the local museum. It belongs in the desert. It must be returned.” The friends move closer around the table. 370 “Tomorrow—“ he says. “Tonight,” they insist. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Perfect Kiva,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 50-51 “Statement” before Congress as an act of resistance. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 72 ff Breyten Breytenback, “Tortoise Steps”: “The revolutionary question is: What about the Other? . . . It is not enough to rail against the descending darkness of barbarity . . . One can refuse to play the game. A holding action can be fought. Alternatives must be kept alive. While learning the slow art of revolutionary patience.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 84 <Pulling orange survey tape off the branches & pulling out the developer’s stakes.> Just as we finished, a swarm of dragonflies descended upon us, winged crosses, translucent blue. We believed these small acts of defiance could raise the dead. Now, I do not. They were, in fact, acts of madness, desperation. And I am not proud of what I have done. I do not believe we can stop growth any more than we can shunt our own evolution. It is our nature to expand. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 119 > I disagree I walked calmly over to their truck and leaned my stomach against their door. I held up my fist a few inches from the driver’s face and slowly lifted my middle finger to the sky. “This is for you—from the owls and me.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 12-13 “Nothing inspires me more than a little controversy. We are in the business of waking people up to their surroundings. A museum is a good place to be quietly subversive on behalf of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 44 “One night, I dreamed women from all over the world circled a blazing fire in the desert. They spoke of change, how they hold the moon in their bellies and wax and wane with its phases. They mocked the presumption of even-tempered beings and made promises that they would never fear the witch inside themselves. The women danced wildly as sparks broke away from the flames and entered the night sky as stars.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “The women danced and drummed and sang for weeks, preparing themselves for what was to come. They would reclaim the desert for the sake of their children, for the sake of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 287 “A contract had been made and broken between human beings and the land. A new contract was being drawn by the women, who understood the fate of the earth as their own.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 371 “The time had come to protest with the heart, that to deny one’s genealogy with the earth was to commit treason against one’s soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 288 The women invade the town, despite being pregnant. They were arrested. When asked why they came and who they were, they replied, “We are mothers and we have come to reclaim the desert for our children.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 I crossed the line at the Nevada Test Site and was arrested with nine other Utahns for trespassing on military lands. They are still conducting nuclear tests in the desert. Ours was an act of civil disobedience. But as I walked toward the town of Mercury, it was more than a gesture of peace. It was a gesture on behalf of the Clan of One-Breasted Women. As one officer cinched the handcuffs around my wrists, another frisked my body. She found a pen and a pad of paper tucked inside my left boot. “And these?” she asked sternly. “Weapons,” I replied. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 289 “These are Rachel’s sons and daughters who are taking the facts and fueling them with passionate resistance to protect the integrity of their hometowns and communities.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 54 Do we have the moral courage to step forward and openly question every law, person, and practice that denies justice toward nature? Do we have the strength and will to continue in this American tradition of bearing witness to beauty and terror which is its own form of advocacy? And do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 Neighbors. Shared concerns. A respect for our differences and strength in what we share. This is happening throughout America. I honestly believe this. I look to the people who are standing their ground in the Bolsa Chica and Ballona Wetlands in the Los Angeles Basin against tremendous opposition, billion-dollar developments, movie moguls like Steven Spielberg, oil interests, and freeways. Look to a small group of neighbors in Yaak, Montana, the North Woods in New England, restoration work in the prairies of the Midwest, urban gardens, the incredible work of local land trusts to preserve and protect what they see as critical habitat for wildlife and the human spirit—all these examples provide models of compassion and savvy, at once. Faith and stamina. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Getting It Right” “I have made a personal commitment to stop nuclear testing. My pen is my weapon, and as an act of hope or ritual, I choose to cross the line and commit civil disobedience. . . . You do what you can on whatever level you can, and you do what you do best. And by the power of our minds and our own hearts, we can write the world. This is about passion and 372 presence. . . . Our obligation as writers is to make people uncomfortable, to push the borders of what is possible.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 Models of resistance “In 2002, Rachel Carson’s spirit is among us. Like her, we can be both fierce and compassionate at once. We can remember that our character has been shaped by the diversity of America’s landscape and it is precisely that character that will protect it. We can carry a healthy sense of indignation within us that will shatter the complacency that has seeped into our society in the name of all we have lost, knowing there is still so much to be saved.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 57 The need for vigilance These lands “will not remain ecologically intake without our own vigilance, without our willingness to protect what is wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “Peace requires generational vigilance, never to be taken for granted.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 307 The need for resistance “Each of us belongs to a particular landscape, one that informs who we are, a place that carries our history, our dreams, holds us to a moral line of behavior that transcends thought. And in each of these places, home work is required, a participation in public life to make certain all is not destroyed under the banner of progress, expediency, or ignorance. We cannot do it alone. This is the hope of a bedrock democracy, standing our ground in the places we love, together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 The need for quiet listening in nature “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 Politics of (local) place “I love the challenge of living in a small community where the politics of place is no longer an abstraction but something very real, as you face your neighbor honestly over land-use issues not hundreds of miles away, but in your backyard.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Note to the Reader,” Refuge, 306 Revolutionary patience Breyten Breytenback, “Tortoise Steps”: “The revolutionary question is: What about the Other? . . . It is not enough to rail against the descending darkness of barbarity . . . One can refuse to play the game. A holding action can be fought. Alternatives must be kept alive. While learning the slow art of revolutionary patience.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 84 373 “Learning the slow art of revolutionary patience, I listen to my family.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 98 RESISTANCE - THEMES 374 RESPECT If we cannot engage in respectful listening there can be no civil dialogue and without civil dialogue we the people will simply become bullies and brutes, deaf to the truth that we are standing on the edge of a political chasm that is beginning to crumble. We all stand to lose ground. Democracy is an insecure landscape. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 If we cannot begin to embrace democracy as a way of life: the right to be educated, to think, discuss, dissent, create, and act, acting in imaginative and revolutionary ways . . . . if we fail to see the necessity of each of us to participate in the formation of an ethical life . . . if we cannot bring a sense of equity and respect into our homes, our marriages, our schools, and our churches, alongside our local, state, and federal governments, then democracy simply becomes, as Dewey suggests, “a form of idolatry,” as we descend into the basement of nationalism. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a RESPECT 375 RESPONSIBILITY Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a RESPONSIBILITY 376 RESTRAINT ……… I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a RESTRAINT 377 SCIENCE “In Silent Spring we . . . witness how a confluence of poetry and politics with sound science can create an ethical stance toward life.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 “But perhaps Rachel Carson’s true courage lies in her willingness to align science with the sacred, to admit that her bond toward nature is a spiritual one.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 “I write about what I know, and I am inspired by what I don’t know – which is enormous. I believe in the longing for unity, that we may in fact be asking for a new way to think about science in reality are asking for a new way to think about ourselves, that this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 378 SELF … Unspoken Hunger “My connection to the natural world is my connection to self—erotic, mysterious, and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “By undressing, exposing, and embracing the bear, we undress, expose, and embrace our authentic selves. Stripped free from society’s oughts and shoulds, we emerge as emancipated beings. The bear is free to roam.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 379 SERVICE, SACRIFICE “There she is, the One Who Gives Birth. Something can pass through stone. I place one hand on her belly and the other on mine. Desert Mothers, all of us, pregnant with possibilities, in the service of life, domestic and wild; it is our freedom to choose how we wish to live, labor, and sacrifice in the name of love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 380 SILENCE, STILLNESS Red the “searing simplicity of form. You cannot help but be undone by its sensibility and light, nothing extra. Before the stillness of sandstone cliffs, you stand still, equally bare.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks. There is a resonance of humility that has evolved with the earth. It is best retrieved in solitude amidst the stillness of days in the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 ringing this silence This silence-our --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, --is the bedrock of democracy. “She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sound of water bursting through the silence of the canyon.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Bowl,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 34-35 “These animals [tortoises] may live beyond one hundred years. They walk for miles largely unnoticed carrying a stillness with them.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 91 The desert tortoise is still. I suspect he hears my voice simply for what it is: human. The news and questions I deliver are returned to me and somehow dissipate in the silence. It is enough to breathe, here, together. --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 97 “The sun rose. There is a silence to creation. I stood and faced east, stretched upward, stretched down, pressed my hands together.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 106-107 “I write from the stillness of night anticipating—always anticipating. I write to listen. I write out of silence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 113 “I listen to the hum of dawn that exists below the silence. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 130 381 I want to learn the landscape of the desert, to be able to translate this landscape of red into a landscape of heat that quickens the heart and gives courage to silence, a silence that is heard. I want to learn how to speak the language of red. --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 138 “The flicker flies. A fire burns. Loves is as varied as the spectrum red. Break my heart with the desert’s silence.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 140 This living would include becoming a caretaker of silence, a connoisseur of stillness, a listener of wind where each dialect is not only heard but understood. Can we imagine such a livelihood? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 141 “We do not trust slowness, silence, or stillness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 145 “To find one’s own equilibrium,” he tells me this morning by the river. “That is what I want to learn.” He finds rocks that stand on their own and bear the weight of others. An exercise in balance and form. Downriver, I watch him place a thin slab of sandstone on a rock pedestal, perfectly poised. He continues placing pebbles on top, testing the balance. In another sculpture, he leans two flat rocks against each other like hands about to pray. The stillness of stones, their silence, is a rest not against the music of the river. --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 150 “The wide-open vistas that sustain our souls, the depth of silence that pushes us toward sanity, return us to a kind of equilibrium. We stand steady on Earth. The external space I see is the internal space I feel.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 “I stop. The silence that lives in these sacred hallways presses against me. I relax. I surrender. I close my eyes. The arousal of my breath rises in me like music, like love, as the possessive muscles between my legs tighten and release. I come to the rock in a moment of stillness, giving and receiving, where there is no partition between my body and the body of Earth.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Earth,” Red, 197 Refuge “First stars appear. A crescent moon. I throw down my sleeping bag. The stillness of the desert instructs me like a trail of light over water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 109 “Maybe it is not the darkness we fear most, but the silences contained within the darkness. Maybe it is not the absence of the moon that frightens us, but the absence of what we expect to be there. A wedge of long-billed curlews flying in the night punctuates the silences and their unexpected calls remind us the only thing we can expect is change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 146 382 “But after midnight, silence. The depth and stillness of Great Salt Lake comes over the wetlands like a mother’s calming hand. Morning approaches slowly, until each voice in the marsh awakens.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 “We usually recognize a beginning. Endings are more difficult to detect. Most often, they are realized only after reflection. Silence. We are seldom conscious when silence begins— it is only afterward that we realize what we have been a part of. In the night journeys of Canada geese, it is the silence that propels them.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 193 “Thomas Merton writes, ‘Silence is the strength of our interior life. . . . If we fill our lives with silence, then we will live in hope.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 193 Mother finally says, “I just want to listen to the silence with you by my side.” The fullness of silence. I am learning what this means. Mother and I have grown so used to simply being, at times I find it difficult to speak. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 219 “Words had once again lost their urgency. Silence. That ringing silence. I sat by the side of her bed and held her hand while the ice chips melted.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 219 Unspoken Hunger “I saw him penetrate stillness with his senses.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 5 Isak Dinesen: “I feel that it might altogether be described as the existence of a person who had come from a rushed and noisy world into still country.” --quoted in Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 11 “Dam, dike, or drain any of them and somewhere, silence prevails. No water: no fish. No water: no plants. No water: no life. Nothing breathes. The land-body becomes a corpse. Stone Creek Woman crumbles and blows away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 71 “Who is witness to this full-bodied beauty? Who can withstand the recondite wisdom and sonorous silence of wildness?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 120 “Who were these artists, these scribes? When were they here? And what did they witness? Time has so little meaning in the center of the desert. The land holds a collective memory in the stillness of open spaces. Perhaps our only obligation is to listen and remember.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 124 “Night in the Cabeza restores silence to the desert, that holy, intuitive silence. . . . . I wonder how it is that in the midst of wild serenity we as a species choose to shatter it again 383 and again. Silence is our national security, our civil defense. By destroying silence, the legacy of our deserts, we leave no room for peace, the deep peace that elevates and stirs our souls. It is silence that rocks and awakens us to the truth of our dreams.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 124 Pieces of White Shell “The silence was uncomfortable, almost unbearable, until it became a metaphor of how one approaches the land: with silence, with patience, and with time. The children know.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 19 “Silence. I don’t want there to be: Silence. I want to talk, listen, share, spend entire afternoons in womanly conversation about her life, mine. Somehow, I sense that a thousand years do not separate us.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 127 Open Space of Democracy I enter a trance; the mantra of mountains rises, range after range of naked rock and peaks. I have no sense of time or scale, simply note this dynamic world that is both still and passing. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 39a I stand up and scan the hillside of dwarf birch and willow. Nothing. Nothing but stillness, my own awareness now hungry for movement. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, We walk for several hours along the tundra shelf, talking very little. Such joy. How do we return home without breaking these threads that bind us to life? How do we return our gratitude for all we have seen? We stop and lie on our backs, side by side, watching the clouds. A deep and abiding stillness passes through us. Our hands clasp. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47b Others I write from the stillness of night anticipating--always anticipating. I write to listen. I write out of silence. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” Interviews London: One of your great gifts as a writer is your ability to translate your experience of nature into words. Yet nature seems to inspire in us not words but silence -- after all, that is one of the most profound reasons for living close to nature, to get beyond words. Do you find that sometimes the words get in the way? Williams: That is so true, and I love what you just said about silence going beyond words. And, who knows, hopefully there will come a time when I have no words, when I can honor and hold that kind of stillness that I so need, crave, and desire in the natural world. I think you are absolutely right. Isn't that intimacy? When you are with a landscape or a human being where there is no need to speak, but simply to listen, to perceive, to feel. And I worry... (I think I must be worried all the time -- maybe that is the other side of joy, you know, holding that line of the full range of emotions.) But we are losing our sense of silence in the world. ………… 384 So, I wonder about silence. Also about darkness. I love the idea that city lights are a "conspiracy" against higher thoughts. If we can no longer see the stars, then where can our thoughts travel to? So, I think there is much to preserve -- not just landscape, but the qualities that are inherent in landscape, in wild places: silence, darkness. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 6 “we need to sit at any table mindful of what it means to be silent. Our silence is also our voice and our voice is also our silence. It depends on what a particular situation demands.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 10 385 SOCIAL & NATURE: FAMILY, COMMUNITY, & EARTH “this yearning to heal the fragmentation and divisions that separate us from nature, that separate us from ourselves, that separate us from God or the mysteries, that this longing for unity has everything to do with family, with community and the landscape we are part of.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43-44 > all three together Seeing Earth from space: “we recognize our home, our family, our community, and therefore become fiercely accountable for the landscape that we are a part of. We can begin to adopt an ethics of place.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 60-61 > all three together What we share as human being is so much more than what separates us. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 39b For me, it is all about relationships. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 10 October 2004, SOCIAL AND NATURE: FAMILY, COMMUNITY, & EARTH 386 SOCIAL VISION Refuge It’s not a bad model, cooperation in the name of community. Brigham Young tried it. He called it the United Order. The United Order was a heavenly scheme for a totally self-sufficient society based on the framework of the Mormon Church. It was a seed of socialism planted by a conservative people. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 99 “Lorenzo Snow was creating a community based on an ecological model: cooperation among individuals within a set of defined interactions. Each person was operating within their own ‘ecological niche,’ strengthening and sustaining the overall structure or ‘ecosystem.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 100 “The ecological model of the Brigham City Cooperative began to crumble. They were forgetting one critical component: diversity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “History has shown us that exclusivity in the name of empire building eventually fails. Fear of discord undermines creativity. And creativity lies at the heart of adaptive evolution.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 102 “there is an organic difference between a system of self-sufficiency and a self-sustaining system. One precludes diversity, the other necessitates it. Brigham Young’s United Order wanted to be independent from the outside world. The Infinite Order of Pelicans suggests there is no such thing.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 103 Perhaps it is time to give birth to a new idea, many new ideas. Perhaps it is time to give birth to new institutions, to overhaul our religious, political, legal, and educational systems that are no longer working for us. Perhaps it is time to adopt a much needed code of ethics, one that will exchange the sacred rights of humans for the rights of all beings on the planet. We can begin to live differently. We have choices before us, conscious choices, choices of conscience and consequence, not in the name of political correctness, but ecological responsibility and opportunity. We can give birth to creation. To labor in the name of social change. To bear down and push against the constraints of our own self-imposed structures. To sacrifice in the name of an ecological imperative. To be broken open to a new way of being. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 159-160 Unspoken Hunger 387 “By undressing, exposing, and embracing the bear, we undress, expose, and embrace our authentic selves. Stripped free from society’s oughts and shoulds, we emerge as emancipated beings. The bear is free to roam.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “If we choose to follow the b ear, we will be saved from a distractive and domesticated life. The bear becomes our mentor. We must journey out, so that we might journey in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 388 SOLITUDE, SOLITARY, ALONE Red “I believe that spiritual resistance—the ability to stand firm at the center of our convictions when everything around us asks us to concede—that our capacity to face the harsh measures of a life, comes from the deep quiet of listening to the land, the river, the rocks. There is a resonance of humility that has evolved with the earth. It is best retrieved in solitude amidst the stillness of days in the desert.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 Refuge Mother: “The gift of being alone. I can never get enough.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 15 The mother: “Those days on the river were a meditation, a renewal. I found my strength in its solitude. It is with me now.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 “I know the solitude my mother speaks of. It is what sustains me and protects me from my mind. It renders me fully present. I am desert. I am mountains. I am Great Salt Lake. There are other languages being spoke by wind, water, and wings. There are other lives to consider: avocets, stilts, and stones. Peace is the perspective found in patterns. When I see ring-billed gulls picking on the flesh of decaying carp, I am less afraid of death. We are no more and no less than the life that surrounds us. My fears surface in my isolation. My serenity surfaces in my solitude.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 Letter from Mother to Terry: “More and more, I am realizing the natural world is my connection to myself. Landscape brings me simplicity. . . . I find my peace, my solitude, in the time I am alone in nature. . . . The natural world is a third party in our marriage. It holds us close and lets us revel in the intimacy of all that is real.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 86-87 “Each of us must face our own Siberia,” she says. “We must come to peace within our own isolation. No one can rescue us. My cancer is my Siberia.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 93 “On a day like today when the air is dry and smells of salt, I have found my open space, my solitude, and sky. And I have found the birds who require it.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 147 “There is something unnerving about my solitary travels around the northern stretches of Great Salt Lake. I am never entirely at ease because I am aware of its will. Its mood can change in minutes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “You stand in the throbbing silence of the Great Basin, exposed and alone. . . . Only the land’s mercy and a calm mind can save my soul. And it is here I find grace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 389 I say a silent prayer for the curlew, remembering the bond of two days before when I sat in their valley nurtured by solitude. I ask the curlew for cinnamon-barred feathers and take them. They do not come easily. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 151 … A meteor flashed and as quickly disappeared. The waves continued to hiss and retreat, hiss and retreat. In the West Desert of the Great Basin, I was not alone.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 190 “There is a holy place in the salt desert, where egrets hover like angels. It is a cave near the lake where water bubbles up from inside the earth. I am hidden and saved from the outside world. Leaning against the back wall of the cave, the curve of the rock supports the curve of my spine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237 Unspoken Hunger Shells: “They remind me of my natural history, that I was tutored by a woman who courted solitude and made pilgrimages to the edges of our continent in the name of her own pleasure, that beauty, awe, and curiosity were values illuminated in our own house.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 15 “As a writer and a woman with obligations to both family and community, I have tried to adopt this ritual in the balancing of a public and private life. We are at home in the deserts and mountains, as well as in our dens. Above ground in the abundance of spring and summer, I am available. Below ground in the deepening of autumn and winter, I am not. I need hibernation in order to create.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 58 On Stone Creek Woman: “But in the solitude of that side canyon where I swam at her feet, she reminds me we must stand vigilant.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 72 “I allow myself to struggle with the obligations of a public life and the spiritual necessity for a private one.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 133 Others What will we make of the life before us? How do we translate the gifts of solitary beauty into the action required for true participatory citizenship? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 42a I write in a solitude born out of community. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” Interviews 390 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 FINCH: Let me play devil’s advocate a minute. Aren’t you sort of being an aesthetic elitist? I mean you simply don’t want to see the signs of civilization that you depend on. . . . you want something different from where it is you have to live. WILLIAMS: See, I don’t think it is elitist. I think what’s elitist is private land. Wilderness is public land in the most profound sense. It’s there for everyone. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 58 391 SONG “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 This is the secret den of my healing, where I come to whittle down my losses. I carve chevrons, the simple image of birds, on rabbit bones cleaned by eagles. And I sing without the embarrassment of being heard. The men in my family have migrated south for one year to lay pipe in southern Utah. My keening is for my family, fractured and displaced. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 237-238 > note she say the men have “migrated” “I pray to birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day— the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me how to listen.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 In Mexico on the Day of the Dead. “Songs were sung. More prayers were offered. And slowly my individual sorrow was absorbed into a sea of collective tears. We all wept.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 277 Mimi talking about Nancy Holt. “She camped at a site for tend days and, at that time, wondered if she could stay in the desert that long. After a few days, she located a particular sound within the land and began to chant. This song became her connection to the Great Salt Lake desert. She told me she fluctuated from feeling very small to feeling very expansive. I remember her words, ‘I became like the ebb and flow of light inside the tunnels.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 268-269 Unspoken Hunger “The umbilical cord between man and earth has not been severed here. The Maasai pasture their cattle next to leopard and lion. They know the songs of grasses and the script of snakes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 4 “These wetlands did not sparkle and sing. They were moribund.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 43 392 SORROW, LONELINESS, GRIEF Leap Walking around the shoreline, stepping over heaps of garbage braided into the bulrushes, the familiar grief I know at home returns. I cam to Spain to get away from my torn heart ripped open every time I see the landscapes I love ravaged, lost, and opened for development. There are too many of us, six billion and rising, our collective impact on fragile communities is deadly. --Terry Tempest Williams, Leap, 115 Refuge I knelt down and scooped up a handful. Microscopic animals and a myriad of larvae drained from my hands. Within seconds, the marsh in microcosm slipped through my fingers. I was not prepared for the loneliness that followed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 41 I love to watch gulls soar over the Great Basin. It is another trick of the lake to lure gulls inland. On days such as this, when my would has been wrenched, the simplicity of flight and form above the lake untangles my grief. “Glide” the gulls write in the sky—and, for a few brief moments, I do. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 75 Mother: “Maybe I have never been allowed to grieve. Maybe I have never allowed myself to grieve.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 154 Father can’t hunt any more. “For the men in my family, their grief has become their compassion.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 251 “I realize months afterward that my grief is much larger than I could ever have imagined. The headless snake without its rattles, the slaughtered birds, even the pumped lake and the flooded desert, become extensions of my family. Grief dares us to love once more.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 252 In Mexico on the Day of the Dead. “Songs were sung. More prayers were offered. And slowly my individual sorrow was absorbed into a sea of collective tears. We all wept.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 277 393 SOUND … Unspoken Hunger shells: “they held the voice of the sea, a primal sound imprinted on me as a baby.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 14 394 SOURCE “I believe we need wilderness in order to be more complete human beings, to not be fearful of the animals that we are . . . an animal who understands a sense of humility when watching a grizzly overturn a stump with its front paw to forage for grubs . . . an animal who weeps over the sheer beauty of migrating cranes . . . an animal who has not forgotten what it means to pray before the unfurled blossom of the sacred datura, remembering the source of all true visions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187 Quote from another “When a boy is beaten for an inappropriate act, the boy falls to the ground and clutches a handful of grass. His elder takes this gesture as a sign of humility. The child remembers where the source of his power lies.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 12 395 SPEAK Power may be a game of power and money to those who have it, but for those of us who don’t, politics is the public vehicle by which we exercise our voices within a democratic society. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 At the end of Camus’s essay, he states, “He who bases his hopes on human nature is a fool, he who gives up in the face of circumstances is a coward. And henceforth, the only honorable course will be to stake everything on a formidable gamble: that words are more powerful than munitions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 To commence. To begin. To comment. To discuss. To commend. To praise and entrust. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 To commit to the open space of democracy is to begin to make room for conversations that can move us toward a personal diplomacy. By personal diplomacy, I mean a fleshand-blood encounter with public process that is not an abstraction but grounded in real time and space with people we have to face in our own hometowns. It’s not altogether pleasant and there is no guarantee as to the outcome. Boos and cheers come in equal measure. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 25 Democracy depends on engagement, a firsthand accounting of what one sees, what one feels, and what one thinks, followed by the artful practice of expressing the truth of our times through our own talents, gifts, and vocations. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b Question. Stand. Speak. Act. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b SPEAK 396 SPIRIT, SOUL Red “reminding us through its blood red grandeur just how essential wild country is to our psychology, how precious the desert is to the soul of America.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “There was a woman who left the city, her family, her children, left everything behind to retrieve her soul.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Bowl,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 32 List of wilderness areas. “What do these places . . . have to say to us about the erosion and uplift of our souls and imagination?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 68 “It’s strange how deserts turn us into believers. I believe in walking in a landscape of mirages because you learn humility. I believe in living in a land of little water because life is drawn together. And I believe in the gathering of bones as a testament to spirits that have moved on.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 “Wilderness courts our souls.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77 “For those of us who so love these lands in Utah, who recognize America’s Redrock Wilderness as a sanctuary for the preservation of our souls, Senate Bill 884, the Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995, is the beginning of this forgetting, a forgetting we may never reclaim.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “The redrock desert of southern Utah teaches me over and over again: red endures. Let it not be my rage or anger that endures, but a passion for the bloodroot country of my burning soul that survives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 138 “Is it possible to make a living by simply watching light? Monet did. Vermeer did. I believe Vincent did too. They painted light in order to witness the dance between revelation and concealment, exposure and darkness. Perhaps this is what I desire most, to sit and watch the shifting shadows cross the cliff face of sandstone or simply to walk parallel with a path of liquid light called the Colorado River. In the canyon country of southern Utah, these acts of attention are not merely the pastimes of artists, but daily work, work that matters to the soul of the community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 140 “Wind is spirit made manifest.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wind,” Red, 151 397 “The wide-open vistas that sustain our souls, the depth of silence that pushes us toward sanity, return us to a kind of equilibrium. We stand steady on Earth. The external space I see is the internal space I feel.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158 Refuge “It’s strange how deserts turn us into believers. I believe in walking in a landscape of mirages, because you learn humility. I believe in living in a land of little water because life is drawn together. And I believe in the gathering of bones as testament of spirits that have moved on.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 148 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ When I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 “I am reminded that what I adore, admire, and draw from Mother is inherent in the Earth. My Mother’s spirit can be recalled simply by placing my hands on the black humus of mountains or the lean sands of desert. Her love, her warmth, and her breath, even her arms around me—are the waves, the wind, sunlight, and water.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 214 “In my heart I say, “Let go . . . let go . . . follow the light . . .” There is a crescendo of movement, like walking up a pyramid of light. And it is sexual, the concentration of love, of being fully present. Pure feeling. Pure color. I can feel her spirit rising through the top of her head. Her eyes focus on mine with total joy—a fullness that transcends words. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 231 Unspoken Hunger “Anticipation is another gift for travelers in unfamiliar territory. It quickens the spirit. The contemplation of the unseen world; imagination piqued in consideration of animals.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 6 O’Keefe: “she was a woman painter among men. Although she resisted the call of gender separation and in many ways embodied an androgynous soul, she was not without political savvy and humor on the subject. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 20 “I find myself being mentored by the land once again, as two great blue herons fly over me. Their wingbeats are slow, so slow they remind me that, all around, energy is being conserved. I too can bring my breath down to dwell in a deeper place where my blood-soul restores to my body what society has drained and dredged away.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 62 398 STORY Red How are we to find our way toward conversation [about conservation issues]? For me, the answer has always been through story. Story bypasses rhetoric and pierces the heart. Story offers a wash of images and emotion that returns us to our highest and deepest selves, where we remember what it means to be human, living in place with our neighbors.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 3 Navajo: “The stories they told animated the country, made the landscape palpable and the people accountable to the health of the land. . . .” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place?” “How do the stories we tell about ourselves in relationship to place shape our perceptions of place? Is there room for retelling our own creation stories, even Genesis?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 4 “These astonishing formations invite a new mythology for desert goers, one that acknowledges the power of story and ritual yet lies within the integrity of our own cultures. . . . It is the story, always the story, that precedes and follows the journey.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 24 Refuge John Lilly suggests whales are a culture maintained by oral traditions. Stories. The experience of an individual whale is valuable to the survival of its community.” I think of my family stories—Mother’s in particular—how much I need them now, how much I will need them later. It has been said when an individual dies, whole worlds die with them. The same could be said of each passing whale. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 175 Unspoken Hunger “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “We are capable of harboring both these response to life in the relentless power of our love. As women connected to the earth, we are nurturing and we are fierce, we are wicked and we are sublime. The full range is ours. We hold the moon in our bellies and fire in our hearts. We bleed. We give milk. We are the mothers of first words. These words grow. They are our children. They are our stories and our poems. 399 By allowing ourselves to undress, expose, and embrace the Feminine, we commit our vulnerabilities not to fear but to courage—the courage that allows us to write on behalf of the earth, on behalf of ourselves.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 59 Pieces of White Shell “But there are major differences, primarily in the stories we tell and the way in which we walk upon the earth. It is here that I am most aware of leaving my own culture and entering another. I take off my shoes and walk barefoot. There are risks, I know. My feet have been cut many times, but I am learning to pay attention.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 > symbol of engagement, or entering “Navajo stories have been my guides across the desert. I have trusted them because I could find no others. They are rooted in native soil. To these people they are sacred. Truth. To me, they are beacons in a nation suspicious of nature.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 “A story grows from the inside out and the inside of Navajoland is something I know little of. But I do know myself and if I begin traveling with an awareness of my own ignorance, trusting my instincts, I can look for my own stories embedded in the landscapes I travel through.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 3 > symbol of engagement, or entering “A story allows us to envision the possibility of things. It draws on the powers of memory and imagination. It awakens us to our surroundings. . . . It is here, by our own participation in nature, that we pick up clues to an awareness of what a story is.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 4 “Storytelling is the oldest form of education.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 4 “I am not suggesting we emulate Native Peoples—in this case, the Navajo. We can’t. We are not Navajo. Besides, their traditional stories don’t work for us. It’s like drinking another man’s medicine. Their stories hold meaning for us only as examples. They can teach us what is possible. We must create and find our own stories, our own myths, with symbols that will bind us to the world as we see it today. In so doing, we will better know how to live our lives in the midst of change.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 5 “I offer you a sampling of the Navajo voice, of my voice, and the voice of the land that moves us. We are told a story and then we tell our own. Each us harbors a homeland. The stories that are rooted there push themselves up like native grasses and crack the sidewalks.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 8 “Stories. Everyone, everything carries a story. A story brings life and definition to the mundane. It animates and enthralls.” 400 --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 14 “Oral tradition reminds one of community and community in the Native American sense encompasses all life forms: people, land, and creatures. Barry Lopez extends this notion when he says, ‘The correspondence between the interior landscape and exterior landscape is story.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pieces of White Shell, 135 Others All sound requires patience; not just the ability to hear, but the capacity to listen, the awareness of mind to discern a story. A magpie flies toward me and disappears in the oak thicket. He is relentless in his cries. What does he know that I do not? What story is he telling? I love these birds, their long iridescent tail feathers, their undulations in flight. Two more magpies join him. I sit on a flat boulder to rest, pick up two stones and begin striking edges. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Listening Days” Interviews TL: One of your early books, Pieces of Whiteshell, is set in the Navajo nation. What did you learn from the Navajo? How did your experience with them influence your direction as a writer? TTW: One of the things I learned from the Dine when I taught on the Navajo Reservation was the power of stories inherent in the land. It made me wonder as Anglos, what stories we tell that evoke a sense of place, of landscape and community. Again, we have much to learn from Indian people and the long-time Hispanic families who have inhabited these regions in the West for centuries about what it means to live in place. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 I can tell you that in Refuge the question that was burning in me was, How do we find refuge in change? Everything around me that was familiar had been turned inside out with my mother's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and with the Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge being flooded. With Pieces of White Shell, it was, What stories do we tell that evoke a sense of place? With An Unspoken Hunger it was really, How do we engage in community? Am I an artist or am I an activist? So it was, How does a poetics of place translate into a politics of place? And in A Desert Quartet the question that was burning inside me was a very private one: How might we make love to the land? --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1-2 “Story is the umbilical cord between the past, present, and future; it keeps things known. Story becomes the conscience of the community, it belongs to everyone.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Bartkevicius & Hussmann interview, 21 “the essential element of legacy is story, the umbilical cord that connects the past, present, and future. When you tell a story it’s as though a third person has entered the room, and you become accountable for that sacred knowledge. Story binds us to community. Part of the reason I could write Refuge, which is so intensely personal, is my belief that inside story the personal is transformed into the general, the universal. Story becomes the conscience of our communities.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 122-123 401 SUFFERING ………. It occurred to me, over the many weeks that it took me to respond to Senator Bennett's letter, that what mattered most to me was not what I was willing to die for, but what I was willing to give my life to. In war, death by belief is centered on principles both activated and extinguished in the drama of a random moment. Heroes are buried. A legacy of freedom is maintained through pain. Life by belief is centered on the day-to-day decisions we make that are largely unseen. One produces martyrs born out of violence. The other produces quiet citizens born out of personal commitments toward social change. Both dwell in the hallowed ground of sacrifice. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 23 Suffering comes, we do not have to create it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b SUFFERING 402 TERRORISM If we only see the West as a place where there's money to be made, a place to subdivide, to drill for oil and gas, we will lose the very thing that makes us westerners and Americans. We have forgotten the option of restraint, whether we're talking about our response to terrorism, or about growth and development. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: Do you feel hopeful that we might learn something at this terrible time? TTW: It is no longer the survival of the fittest but the survival of compassion -- to extend our humanity to include honor and respect for plants, animals, rocks, rivers and air. It feels like we're awake as a nation for the first time in a long time. We haven't been awake, not conscious of our connection to the world. There's an exquisite tenderness right now, and that is a gift. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: Why the need for wilderness? TTW: Wild country is so essential to our psychology. The context of our lives has shifted. We're feeling things, seeing things differently. My first impulse when I got home from Washington, when I saw the Wasatch mountains, I just burst into tears. My husband and I got into the car and drove up to the Tetons. We went on this trail that we've hiked for 20 years. The sound of sirens that were screaming in my psyche were replaced by bugling elk. It was so powerful to understand what sustains us in time of terror and times of calm as well. Wild lands remind us what it means to be human, what it means to be connected to something larger than ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: What priority do we assign conservation of wild lands given the current emphasis on international affairs and national defense? TTW: I think wild lands have never been more important than they are now. They are also more threatened as a result of the events of Sept. 11. Just today, a senator from Arkansas was trying to tie the President's energy bill to the bill for the war effort. America's Red Rock Wilderness is threatened by the urgency to dig for gas and oil. Right now, right on the boundary of Canyonlands, there are huge machines, trucks with massive tires, thumping the land to test it for gas preserves. There are assumptions that we are now at war and environmental and ecological integrity no longer matters. We're going to have to be very strong, very smart, very certain in our cause. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: Just how serious is the threat to designated wilderness posed by the Bush administration? TTW: I think it's an enormous threat. When you look at the oil and gas interests that fueled Bush's campaign, it's a whole different orientation to what we saw in the Clinton administration. They have a viewpoint about how the land should be used, and that translates to exploitation of natural resources to fuel the economy. The agenda of the Bush administration, set prior to Sept. 11, has just been accentuated in the name of patriotism. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: What can we do to raise the issue to a level of national importance? 403 TTW: We need to remember that there are other definitions of natural resources, like courage and beauty. Those of us who believe in the value of wilderness are going to have to get stronger and stronger. There will be a time when speaking out about the environment is going to be seen as anti-patriotic. Maybe we will have to create a new vocabulary. It's not them and us, Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals; it's all of us trying to survive and live together on Earth. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: Yes, there's been so much talk about freedom and our shared values, but very little talk about the greatness of the land. TTW: Talk about symbols of freedom! Unagitated landscapes! I think it's going to become even more powerful to us now, when we realize what kind of police state we're likely to become. I'm hopeful, though, and I am constantly amazed. I find that some of the most interesting things in the newspaper post-Sept. 11 are the post scripts, the asides. The other day there was a statement by Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton, whose policies I normally don't agree with. But she made a point of saying to the American people that the national parks and the wildlife refuges were now open to the public. She pointed out that they are powerful symbols of freedom for this nation and urged people to visit the national parks at this dark time. Then there was a little piece about a group of lobbyists from Alaska stranded in Washington. They were saying that the conservation community in Alaska were trying not to refer to the wildlife refuge as Arctic National Wildlife Refuge or AFWR. They only refer to it as the refuge. I think these are the kinds of small things that we can do to change the discussion, to turn it into a slightly different discussion. We need to talk about how wildness, wilderness is a deeply held value in America. Look at the effect of the American landscape on literature. Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea; Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. The power of landscape looms large when you look at the American tradition in literature, for example. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 4-5 404 TIME Red Desert as teacher. Desert as mirage. Desert as illusion, largely our own. What you come to see on the surface is not what you come to know. Emptiness in the desert is the fullness of space, a fullness of space that eliminates time. The desert is time, exposed time, geologic time. One needs time in the desert to see. --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 5-6 To move through wild country in the desert or in the woods is to engage in a walking meditation, a clearing of the mind, where we remember what we have so easily lost. Time. Time and space. The shape of time and space are different in wilderness. Time is something encountered through the senses not imposed upon the mind. We walk, we sit, we eat, we sleep, we look, we smell, we touch, we hear, we taste our own feral nature. What we know in a wild place is largely translated through the body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185-186 “I dissolve. I am water. Only my face is exposed like an apparition over ripples. Playing with water. Do I dare? My legs open. The rushing water turns my body and touches me with a fast finger that does not tire. I receive without apology. Time. Nothing to rush, only to feel. I feel time in me. It is endless pleasure in the current. No control. No thought. Simply, here. . . . my body mixes with the body of the water like jazz, the currents like jazz. I too am free to improvise.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 201-202 Refuge “I am suspended between the past and future, held by a spider’s filament stretched across a river.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 161 “From one until four in the afternoon, we sat near her. A meditation. Her breaths could now be heard as moans. Her eyes were haunting, open, and clear. Time was suspended like watching a fire. Gradually, Mother’s breaths became a mantra and the death mask we feared was removed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 229 Others Love is nurtured through time. Time is what we lack. On the Canning River, time is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44b 405 TRANQUILITY, PEACE, SERENITY, CALM Red “my spirit is shrinking in direct proportion to the shrinking landscape and vista. As wildness disappears, so does my peace of mind. I can no longer live here in joy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” 118 “I love sitting by the river. A deep calm washes over me in the face of this fluid continuity where it always appears the same, yet I know each moment of the Rio Colorado is new.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 148 Refuge “I know the solitude my mother speaks of. It is what sustains me and protects me from my mind. It renders me fully present. I am desert. I am mountains. I am Great Salt Lake. There are other languages being spoke by wind, water, and wings. There are other lives to consider: avocets, stilts, and stones. Peace is the perspective found in patterns. When I see ring-billed gulls picking on the flesh of decaying carp, I am less afraid of death. We are no more and no less than the life that surrounds us. My fears surface in my isolation. My serenity surfaces in my solitude.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 29 “We drifted for hours. Merging with salt water and sky so completely, we were resolved, dissolved, in peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 78 Letter from Mother to Terry: “More and more, I am realizing the natural world is my connection to myself. Landscape brings me simplicity. . . . I find my peace, my solitude, in the time I am alone in nature. . . . The natural world is a third party in our marriage. It holds us close and lets us revel in the intimacy of all that is real.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 86-87 “Each of us must face our own Siberia,” she says. “We must come to peace within our own isolation. No one can rescue us. My cancer is my Siberia.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 93 Unspoken Hunger “Night in the Cabeza restores silence to the desert, that holy, intuitive silence. . . . . I wonder how it is that in the midst of wild serenity we as a species choose to shatter it again and again. Silence is our national security, our civil defense. By destroying silence, the legacy of our deserts, we leave no room for peace, the deep peace that elevates and stirs our souls. It is silence that rocks and awakens us to the truth of our dreams.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 124 Open Space of Democracy It is difficult to find peace. I am torn between my anger and my empathy. And then I go for a walk. My balance returns. I calm down, breathe, and allow for deep listening to occur. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 24 406 As the Brooks Range recedes behind us, I am mindful that Mardy is approaching 101 years of age. She has never shed her optimism for wild Alaska. I am half her age and my niece, Abby, is half of mine. We share her passion for this order of quiet freedom. America's wildlands are vulnerable and they will always be assailable as long as what we value in this nation is measured in monetary terms, not spiritual ones. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a In the open space of democracy, we engage the qualities of inquiry, intuition, and love as we become a dynamic citizenry, unafraid to exercise our shared knowledge and power. We can dissent. We can vote. We can step forward in times of terror with a confounding calm that will shatter fear and complacency. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57b Interviews “there is a place of peace—even if it’s a square foot of an empty lot, a garden, or the sky at night. There is something beyond which will hold us in all of life’s ambiguity. I choose to court the mysteries. I don’t think there is such a thing as security, but I know my home and I know my land, and as long as I live, I will stand my ground in the places I love.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 “To be able to have that core of serenity in the middle of huge oscillations; to be present in those waves and emotional tides, but to possess a solidarity of soul. That’s what I would like to hold for myself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 314 “The natural world has become a practice, a teaching, the place where I can make peace with my own contradictory nature, the place where we all can make peace with our own contradictory natures.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 43 407 TRANSCENDENTALISM Lives change at this university. Mine did. I remember the moment. The class was American Romanticism. The professor was Dr. William Mulder. He introduced us to Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, and Emily Dickinson. It was in this course, I realized, "Yes, I am a Mormon, but I am really a Transcendentalist." --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 20b TRANSCENDENTALISM 408 TRANSFORMATION, CHANGE IN OURSELVES I do not believe we can look for leadership beyond ourselves. I do not believe we can wait for someone or something to save us from our global predicaments and obligations. I need to look in the mirror and ask this of myself: If I am committed to seeing the direction of our country change, how must I change myself? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 58a-b This is what our community is in need of now. Fire. Fire that wakes us up. Fire that transforms where we are. Fire to see our way through the dark. Fire as illumination. We witness from the front porches of our homes the exhilaration of pushing an idea over the edge until it ignites a community, and we can never look at Parriott Mesa again without remembering the way it was sold, the way a sign disappeared and reappeared in Arches National Park, the way the community bought the land back through the gift of anonymity, and the breathing space it now holds as the red rock cornerstone of Castle Valley. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b TRANSFORMATION, CHANGE IN OURSELVES 409 TRUTH GROUND TRUTHING: The use of a ground survey to confirm findings of aerial imagery or to calibrate quantitative aerial observations; validation and verification techniques used on the ground to support maps; walking the ground to see for oneself if what one has been told is true; near surface discoveries. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 38 TRUTH 410 UNCERTAINTY Democracy is built upon the right to be insecure. We are vulnerable. And we are vulnerable together. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a On this magical night, we watch in wonder and awe as young people climb, carrying wood on their backs, and lay down their burdens, striking the match, blowing on embers, fanning the flames with great faith and joy. Fire. Fire in freefall, over the cliff, reminding us all what is primal and fleeting. We cannot know what lies ahead. We may be unsure how to bring our prayers forward. But on this night in the desert, we celebrate this cascading river of beauty. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 59b UNCERTAINTY 411 VIGILANCE These lands “will not remain ecologically intake without our own vigilance, without our willingness to protect what is wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “May you recall the transformative power of wildness and remember it survives only through vigilance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 On Stone Creek Woman: “But in the solitude of that side canyon where I swam at her feet, she reminds me we must stand vigilant.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 72 Mardy Murie: “You know somebody has to be alert all the time. We must watch Congress daily.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mardy Murie,” Unspoken Hunger, 91 412 VISION “individuals who care for the rocks will find openings—large openings—that become passageways into the unseen world, where music is heard through doves’ wings and wisdom is gleaned in the tails of lizards.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25 “Is it possible to make a living by simply watching light? Monet did. Vermeer did. I believe Vincent did too. They painted light in order to witness the dance between revelation and concealment, exposure and darkness. Perhaps this is what I desire most, to sit and watch the shifting shadows cross the cliff face of sandstone or simply to walk parallel with a path of liquid light called the Colorado River. In the canyon country of southern Utah, these acts of attention are not merely the pastimes of artists, but daily work, work that matters to the soul of the community.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 140 “Boredom could catch up with me. But it never does, only the music, river music, the continual improvisation of water. Perhaps the difference between repetition and boredom lies in our willingness to believe in surprise, the subtle shifts of form that loom large in a trained and patient eye.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “River Music,” Red, 149 Let me tease another word from the heart of a nation: sacrifice. Not to bear children may be its own form of sacrifice. How do I explain my love of children, yet our decision not to give birth to a child? Perhaps it is about sharing. I recall watching my niece, Diane, nine years old, on her stomach, eye to eye with a lizard; neither moved while contemplating the other. In the sweetness of that moment, I felt the curvature of my heart become the curvature of Earth, the circle of family complete. Diane bears the name of my mother and wears my DNA as closely as my daughter would. Must the act of birth be seen only as a replacement for ourselves? Can we not also conceive of birth as an act of the imagination, giving body to a new way of seeing? Do children need to be our own to be loved as our own? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 158-159 413 VOICE OF THE LAND, LISTEN TO THE LAND, DIALOGUE WITH THE LAND ….. Open Space of Democracy The land speaks to us through gestures. What we share as human being is so much more than what separates us. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 39b If we listen to the land, we will know what to do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 39b Out of our shock, anger, and affection for each other, the Castle Rock Collaboration (CRC) was formed. We had no money. We had no power. We had only our shared love of home and a desire for dialogue with the open spaces that defined our town. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 53a The Castle Rock Collaboration is an exercise in bedrock democracy. We are dedicated to the process of listening to the land and each other, exploring what we want our future to be, working together to minimize the pressures of growth, ensuring the health and majesty of this pocket of peace we call home. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 53a If we listen to the land, we will know what to do. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a VOICE OF THE LAND, LISTEN TO THE LAND, DIALOGUE WITH THE LAND 414 VULNERABILITY, INSECURE Democracy is built upon the right to be insecure. We are vulnerable. And we are vulnerable together. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Commencement,” 22 “We are vulnerable, and we are vulnerable together” --Terry Tempest Williams, Online journal 24 October 2004 As the Brooks Range recedes behind us, I am mindful that Mardy is approaching 101 years of age. She has never shed her optimism for wild Alaska. I am half her age and my niece, Abby, is half of mine. We share her passion for this order of quiet freedom. America's wildlands are vulnerable and they will always be assailable as long as what we value in this nation is measured in monetary terms, not spiritual ones. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a The heart is the house of empathy whose door opens when we receive the pain of others. This is where bravery lives, where we find our mettle to give and receive, to love and be loved, to stand in the center of uncertainty with strength, not fear, understanding this is all there is. The heart is the path to wisdom because it dares to be vulnerable in the presence of power. Our power lies in our love of our homelands. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a Democracy is an insecure landscape and today it feels more so. . . . I was looking forward to addressing the students in the spirit of conversation and discussion what engagement within a vibrant democracy means. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” opening sentence in a letter to President Merwin We are vulnerable, and we are vulnerable together. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Open Space of Democracy Tour Online Journal,” 24 October 2004, VULNERABILITY 415 WALKING “Walking in wilderness becomes a meditation. . . . I walked intuitively.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 55 416 WHOLE What do we wish for? To be whole. To be complete. Wildness reminds us what it means to be human, what we are connected to rather than what we are separate from. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 75 “They had sung themselves back to hozho, where the world is balanced and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Lion’s Eyes, Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 31 “To be in relation to everything around us, above us, below us, earth, sky, bones, blood, flesh, is to see the world whole, even holy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 “My connection to the natural world is my connection to self—erotic, mysterious, and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “She is a woman who has exhibited—through her marriage, her children, her writing, and her activism—that a whole life is possible.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mardy Murie,” Unspoken Hunger, 90 When I ask Carol to describe the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in one word, she doesn't hesitate. "Wholeness," she says. I am in the back of the boat with her as she steers us ahead to our last camp. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46a Within the refuge, if I rotate slowly in place, what I see is a circumference of continuity. What I feel is a spiritual cohesion born out of wholeness. It is organic, cellular. I am at home in the peace of an intact world. The open space of democracy is not interested in hierarchies but in networks and systems where power is circular, not linear; a power reserved not for an entitled few, but shared and maintained by many. Public lands are our public commons and they belong to everyone. We enter these sacred lands soulfully and remember what it is we have forgotten -- the gift of time and space. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is the literal open space of democracy. The privilege of being here is met with the responsibility I feel to experience and express its compounding grace. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up -- ever -trusting our fellow citizens to join with us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 57a WHOLENESS 417 WILD, WILDERNESS Red “reminding us through its blood red grandeur just how essential wild country is to our psychology, how precious the desert is to the soul of America.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “May you recall the transformative power of wildness and remember it survives only through vigilance.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 17 And there are those who are saying, very thoughtfully, that it will only be by eliminating our desire to set land aside as ‘wilderness’ that we can begin to regard all landscapes with respect and dignity. I understand these points of discussion. In an ideal world, a world we might well inhabit one day, we may not need to ‘designate’ wilderness, so evolved will be our collective land ethic, our compassion for all manner of life, so responsive and whole. . . . I pray there will indeed come a time, when our lives regarding the domestic and the wild will be seamless. But we are not there yet. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 18 Coyote “knows that sunburned flesh is better than a tanned hide, that days spent in the desert are days soaking up strength. . . . Coyote knows that it is the days spent in wildness that counts in urbane savvy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25 “The next thing we’ll hear is that the locals want to preserve the wilderness for its poetry.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Buried Poems,” Red, 42 “These wildlands are alive.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 69 “The Colorado Plateau is wild. There is still wilderness here, big wilderness. Wilderness holds an original presence giving expression to that which we lack, the losses we long to recover, the absences we seek to fill. Wilderness revises the memory of unity. Through its protection, we can find faith in our humanity.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 69 What do we wish for? To be whole. To be complete. Wildness reminds us what it means to be human, what we are connected to rather than what we are separate from. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 75 “Wilderness is both the bedrock lands of southern Utah and a metaphor of ‘unlimited possibility.’ The question must be asked, ‘How can we cut ourselves off from the very source of our creation?’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 75 418 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ walking in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ And when I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 77-78 “Without a philosophy of wildness and the recognition of its inherent spiritual values, we will, as E. O. Wilson reminds us, ‘descend farther from heaven’s air if we forget how much the natural world means to us.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Statement,” Red, 78 “We raise clenched fists to the wind. We are still afraid of wildness: wild places, wild acts, wild thoughts.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Wild Act,” Red, 103 There is an image of woman in the desert, her back arched as her hands lift her body up from black rocks. Naked. She spreads her legs over a boulder etched by the Ancient Ones; a line of white lightning zigzags from her mons pubis. She if perfectly in place, engaged, ecstatic, and wild. This is Judy Dater’s photograph “Self-Portrait with Petroglyphs.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Erotic Landscape,” Red, 104 “I write as a bow to wilderness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 113 “my spirit is shrinking in direct proportion to the shrinking landscape and vista. As wildness disappears, so does my peace of mind. I can no longer live here in joy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 118 Essay: “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold” --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 174ff There are those within the academy who have recently criticized ‘the wilderness idea’ as a holdover from our colonial past, a remnant of Calvinist tradition that separates human beings from the natural world and ignores concerns of indigenous people. They suggest that wilderness advocates are deceiving themselves, that they are merely holding on to a piece of America’s past, that they are devoted to an illusory and ‘static past,’ that they are apt to ‘adopt too high a standard for what counts as ‘natural.”’ These scholars see themselves as one who ‘have inherited the wilderness idea’ and are responding as ‘EuroAmerican men’ within a ‘cultural legacy . . . patriarchal Western civilization in its current postcolonial, globally hegemonic form.’ I hardly know what that means. If wilderness is a ‘human construct,’ how do we take it out of the abstract, and into the real? How do we begin to extend our notion of community to include all life-forms so that these political boundaries will no longer be necessary? How can that which nurtures evolution, synonymous with adaptation and change, be considered static? Whom do we trust in matters of compassion and reverence for life? I believe that consideration of wilderness as an idea and wilderness as a place must begin with conscience. 419 I come back to Leopold’s notion of ‘intellectual humility,’ We are not alone on this planet, even though our behavior at times suggests otherwise. Our minds are meaningless in the face of one perfect avalanche or flash flood or forest fire. Our desires are put to rest when we surrender to a grizzly bear, a rattlesnake, or goshawk defending its nest. To step aside is an act of submission, to turn back an act of admission, that other beings can and will take precedence when we meet them on their own wild terms. The manic pace of our modern lives can be brought into balance by simply giving in to the silence of the desert, the pounding of a Pacific surf, the darkness and brilliance of a night sky far away from a city. Wilderness is a place of humility. Humility is a place of wilderness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 179-181 After defeat of dam on Green River: “The preservation and protection of wilderness became part of our sacred responsibility, a responsibility that each generation will carry.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 182 “These wildlands matter. Call them places of Original Mind where an authentic sensibility can evolve. Wild country offers us perspective and gravity, even in an erosional landscape like the Colorado Plateau.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185 To move through wild country in the desert or in the woods is to engage in a walking meditation, a clearing of the mind, where we remember what we have so easily lost. Time. Time and space. The shape of time and space are different in wilderness. Time is something encountered through the senses not imposed upon the mind. We walk, we sit, we eat, we sleep, we look, we smell, we touch, we hear, we taste our own feral nature. What we know in a wild place is largely translated through the body.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 185-186 “I believe we need wilderness in order to be more complete human beings, to not be fearful of the animals that we are . . . an animal who understands a sense of humility when watching a grizzly overturn a stump with its front paw to forage for grubs . . . an animal who weeps over the sheer beauty of migrating cranes . . . an animal who has not forgotten what it means to pray before the unfurled blossom of the sacred datura, remembering the source of all true visions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187 “Wildness is a deeply American value.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 188 “We, too, can humbly raise our hands with those who have gone before and those who will follow. Hand on rock. We remember what we have forgotten, what we can reclaim in wildness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 188 420 “To protect the wild is to protect what is gentle. Perhaps the wildness we fear is the pause between our own heartbeats, the silent space that says we live only by grace. Wilderness lives by this same grace. Wild mercy is in our hands.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wild Mercy,” Red, 215 "The eyes of the future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time. They are kneeling with hands clasped that we might act with restraint, that we might leave room for the life that is destined to come. To protect what is wild is to protect what is gentle. Perhaps the wildness we fear is the pause between our heartbeats, the silent space that says we live only by grace. Wilderness lives by this same grace. Wild mercy in our hands." --Terry Tempest Williams, Red, 215 Refuge “And if the natural world was assigned spiritual values, then those days spent in wildness were sacred. We learned at an early age that God can be found wherever you are, especially outside.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 14 I want to see the lake as Woman, as myself, in her refusal to be tamed. The State of Utah may try to dike her, divert her waters, build roads across her shores, but ultimately, it won’t matter. She will survive us. I recognize her as a wilderness, raw and self-defined. Great Salt Lake strips me of contrivances and conditioning, saying, “I am not what you see. Question me. Stand by your own impressions.” We are taught not to trust our own experiences. Great Salt Lake teaches me experience is all we have. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 92 “Wilderness courts our souls. When I sat in church throughout my growing years, I listened to teachings about Christ in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, reclaiming his strength, where he was able to say to Satan, ‘Get thee hence.’ When I imagined Joseph Smith kneeling in a grove of trees as he received his vision to create a new religion, I believed their sojourns into nature were sacred. Are ours any less?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 149 Once out at the lake, I am free. Native. Wind and waves are like African drums driving the rhythm home. I am spun, supported, and possessed by the spirit who dwells here. Great Salt Lake is a spiritual magnet that will not let me go. Dogma doesn’t hold me. Wildness does. A spiral of emotion. It is ecstasy without adrenaline. My hair is tossed, curls are blown across my face and eyes, much like the whitecaps cresting over the waves. Wind and waves. Wind and waves. The smell of brine is burning my lungs. I can taste it on my lips. I want more brine, more salt. Wet hands. I lick my fingers, until I am sucking them dry. I close my eyes. The smell and taste combined reminds me of making love in the Basin; flesh slippery with sweat in the heat of the desert. Wind and waves. A sigh and a surge. I pull away from the lake, pause, and rest easily in the sanctuary of sage. --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 240 421 “A blank spot on the map is an invitation to encounter the natural world, where one’s character will be shaped by the landscape. To enter wilderness is to court risk, and risk favors the senses, enabling one to live well.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 244 “How do you place a value on inspiration. How do you quantify the wildness of birds, when for the most part, they lead secret and anonymous lives?” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 265 Unspoken Hunger Woman at Bronx wetlands: “And suddenly, the water songs of the red-winged blackbirds returned to me, the songs that keep her attentive in a city that has little memory of wildness.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 48 “Walking in wilderness becomes a meditation. . . . I walked intuitively.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 55 “Marian Engle, in her novel Bear, portrays a woman and a bear in an erotics of place. It doesn’t matter whether the bear is seen as male or female. The relationship between the two is sensual, wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “In these moments, I felt innocent and wild, privy to secrets and gifts exchanged only in nature. I was the tree, split open by change. I was the flood, bursting through grief. I was the rainbow at night, dancing in darkness. Hands on the earth, I closed my eyes and remembered where the source of my power lies. My connection to the natural world is my connection to self—erotic, mysterious, and whole.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 56 “We stood strong and resolute as neighbors, friends, and family witnessed the release of a red-tailed hawk. Wounded, now healed, we caught a glimpse of our own wild nature soaring above willows.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 63 “Eight hundred acres of wetlands. It is nothing. It is everything. We are a tribe of fractured individuals who can now only celebrate remnants or wildness. One red-tailed hawk. Two great blue herons. Wildlands and wildlives’ oppression lies in our desire to control and our desire to control has robbed us of feeling. Our rib cages have been broken and our hearts cut out. The knives of our priests are bloody. We, the people. Our own hands are bloody.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 65 “There is no defense against an open heart and a supple body in dialogue with wildness. Internal strength is an absorption of the external landscape. We are informed by beauty, raw and sensual. Through an eroitcs of place our sensitivity becomes our sensibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 422 “Who is witness to this full-bodied beauty? Who can withstand the recondite wisdom and sonorous silence of wildness?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 120 “We can try and kill all that is native, string it up by its hind legs for all to see, but spirit howls and wildness endures. Anticipate resurrection.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 144 Open Space of Democracy What are we willing to give our lives to if not the perpetuation of the sacred? Can we continue to stand together in our collective wisdom and say, these particular lands are inviolable, deserving protection by law and the inalienable right of safe passage for all beings that dwell here? Wilderness designation is the promise of this hope held in trust. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 44a "It's not just the refuge or ANWR, the 1002, the National Petroleum Reserve Area, or any of the other throwaway names that are being bantered about in Washington," she explains, "but the entire region of what lives and breathes in the shadow of the Brooks Range with all its peaks and valleys, braided rivers, and coastlines. It's this layered sense of wilderness, the uninterrupted vistas without man's hand on it. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46a You cannot afford to make careless mistakes, like meditating in the presence of wolves, or topping your boots in the river, or losing a glove, or not securing your tent down properly. Death is a daily occurrence in the wild, not noticed, not respected, not mourned. In the Arctic, I've learned ego is as useless as money. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 46b I think of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as a place of Original Mind, where the ongoing natural processes of life can continue without interference. Our evolutionary past and our future are secured here. This is a place where the press of humanity can be lifted in the name of restraint and where our species’ magnanimous nature can be practiced. The Arctic becomes a breathing space. In the company of wild nature, we experience our own humble core of dependency on the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a I hear Walt Whitman’s voice once again. “The quality of Being . . . is the lesson of nature.” Raw, wild beauty is a deeply held American value. It is its own declaration of independence. Equality is experienced through humility. Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ground Truthing,” Orion, 47a-b Others “Call it sacred rage, a rage grounded in the understanding that all life is intertwined. And we can come to know and continue to learn from the grace of wild things as they hold an organic wisdom that sustains peace.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 423 A peach orchard in the desert is not wilderness, nor is it an alternative to the protection of wild, pristine landscapes. But it is a critical piece of the mosaic of land preservation and a conservation strategy that includes open space, an organic bridge between a cultivated meadow and a native one. It is a pause in the mania to develop everything in sight in the Colorado Plateau, be it resorts or subdivisions or convenience stores. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” Slowly, we are coming to realize, one acre at a time, that the spirit of a place preserved enters our own. We are transformed by wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” There is the same hope and promise here inside the Mayberry Preserve. With the Colorado River on its northern boundary, Fisher Towers and the Negro Bill Wilderness Study Areas east and west of the orchard and the town of Castle Valley directly to the south, it is a place where human history and natural history converge. I believe we are capable of creating a world that can accommodate the tamed and untamed life, that we can in fact see ourselves as part of a larger biological community, that it is not at odds with a sense of deep democracy but compatible with it. Call it a new patriotism: red rocks, white clouds, blue sky. Is not the wild imagination of open spaces simply an expansion of our pledge of allegiance? --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Peach in the Wilderness” To bear testimony is to bear witness; we speak from the truth of our lives. How doe we put our love for the land into action? This book is one model, an act of faith by writers who believe in the power of story, a bedrock reminder of how wild nature continues to inform, inspire, and sustain us. --Stephen Trimble and Terry Tempest Williams, Testimony, 3. Interviews Indy: Why the need for wilderness? TTW: Wild country is so essential to our psychology. The context of our lives has shifted. We're feeling things, seeing things differently. My first impulse when I got home from Washington, when I saw the Wasatch mountains, I just burst into tears. My husband and I got into the car and drove up to the Tetons. We went on this trail that we've hiked for 20 years. The sound of sirens that were screaming in my psyche were replaced by bugling elk. It was so powerful to understand what sustains us in time of terror and times of calm as well. Wild lands remind us what it means to be human, what it means to be connected to something larger than ourselves. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: What priority do we assign conservation of wild lands given the current emphasis on international affairs and national defense? TTW: I think wild lands have never been more important than they are now. They are also more threatened as a result of the events of Sept. 11. Just today, a senator from Arkansas was trying to tie the President's energy bill to the bill for the war effort. America's Red Rock Wilderness is threatened by the urgency to dig for gas and oil. Right now, right on the boundary of Canyonlands, there are huge machines, trucks with massive tires, thumping the land to test it for gas preserves. There are assumptions that we are now at 424 war and environmental and ecological integrity no longer matters. We're going to have to be very strong, very smart, very certain in our cause. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 2 Indy: What's the current status of the Redrock Wilderness Act? TTW: The Redrock Wilderness Bill currently before Congress, in some ways has never had more support. But it also has never had such strong opposition. The Bush and Cheney agenda is an energy agenda, and they'll take the wild lands for that purpose unless we are a vigilant, responsible citizenry. All I'm asking for is a healthy, conscious discussion. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 3 Indy: In the book you say: "When one us says [regarding wilderness], 'Look, there's nothing out there,' what we are really saying is, 'I cannot see.'" How do you teach people to see, especially a generation of children raised blind to wilderness? TTW: It requires exposure. And slowing down. There's a chapter in Red, "Ode to Slowness," that talks about the pace of our lives. Our lives are so insane, in terms of the pace with which we carry on, we can't see, taste, hear or smell beyond our own mania. Education is critical. I'm heartened by our children. I look at my nieces, and they're more environmentally savvy than I was at the same age. It's important for kids to get outside. We need to be asking the question: Can we read the landscape alongside the pages of a book? I've been working on a school project in Moab where 6th graders have been keeping journals of weather studies. They've learned the names of 25 species of plants, animals and birds. By writing this specific information down, I've noticed their writing in general becomes more specific. Their lives, it seems, have taken on an added richness simply by learning the names of things. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 4 Indy: How do we reconcile the need to conserve wilderness when government is clamoring to divide and conquer the land? TTW: We need to view conservation as an act of democracy. As locals tied to the exploitive susceptibility of the land we live on, we wind up thanking our federal government for saving us from ourselves when they act to preserve wilderness. I know this sounds like a completely idealistic statement, but I believe that a nation's appetite for beauty transcends a state's hunger for greed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Eastburn Interview, 5 TL: You have been a strong supporter of the preservation of wilderness in Utah. Can you briefly explain why? TTW: I have been a strong supporter of wilderness preservation in Utah because it feels like these lands deserve protection from the continued rape of the West. That is not to say that I do not have respect for the extractive industry in my state, I do. But I believe some lands are truly special, say the word, "sacred," even--that because of their importance biologically speaking to the migration corridors of animals, the habitat necessary for threatened and delicate species of plants, and the spiritual values they hold for society and inspire: silence, awe, beauty, majesty--that these lands have their own sovereignty that deserves to be honored and defended by the law. I know it is very popular these days in some parts of the Academy to say that "wilderness" is simply a human construct, that wilderness has become irrelevant before it has become resolved. We do not have language that adequately conveys what wildness 425 means, but I do not believe we can "deconstruct" nature. This notion strikes me as a form of intellectual arrogance. Personally, I feel grateful to the national park ideal, places of pilgrimage within North America that allow the public to engage with the natural world. I am grateful to those who enacted the 1964 Wilderness Act and the other pieces of legislation that try to maintain a possible integrity of clean air and water. Wilderness reminds us of restraint, that is a difficult and contentious idea for our society that defines itself on growth and consumption. There is no question this is "an American idea" but until we can come to sustainable vision where we do not exploit everything in sight, it's the best we can do-- Our challenge is how to create sustainable lives and sustainable communities in a dance with wildness. I believe that is what we are working toward in the American West and it is not easy. In fact, it is a long and arduous and at times, difficult process, one that requires a good deal of listening and patience and compassion. I keep thinking of Stegner when he said, "We need a society to match the scenery." --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 TL: I recall hearing you read from a manuscript version of Desert Quartet: An Erotic Landscape at a conference in Salt Lake City a few years back. At the time, you seemed nervous about writing frankly about the erotics of landscape. It seems a risky thing to write about. Has the reaction to the book justified your nervousness, or has it been favorably received? Why did you choose to write about this topic? TTW: You ask about Desert Quartet and why I wrote that book. I think every writer struggles with various questions and tries to make peace with those questions, those longings through their art, their craft. I am interested in the notion of love and why we are so fearful of intimacy, with each other and with the land. I wanted to explore the idea of the erotic, not as it is defined by my culture as pornographic and exploitive, but rather what it might mean to engage in a relationship of reciprocity. I wanted to try and write out of the body, not out of the head. I wanted to create a circular text, not a linear one. I wanted to play with the elemental movements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air, and bow to the desert, a landscape I love. I wanted to see if I could create on the page a dialogue with the heartopen wildness. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 4 “Our culture of consumerism tells us what we need, what we want, and what we deserve. It is the economics of entitlement. And I believe it is an illusion. I believe our needs are more basic: home; family; community; health; the health of the land which includes all life forms, plants, animals, and human beings. We need open country, open spaces, a wildness that offers us deliverance from inauthentic lives.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Pearlman interview, Listen to their Voices, 132 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. 426 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: “the minute I cross that line where it says ‘Lone Peak Wilderness’ I feel as though I am stepping into sacred ground, that this is an area of sacred land that my culture has deemed important enough to leave alone. Let it be for its own sake. It has a life. It’s an organism unto itself. I know I am safe there. ROBERT FINCH: Safe from what? TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: From encroachment. From public harassment. From the pressures of urban life that would deprive us of an authenticity of spirit. FINCH: But then it’s an escape. It’s a refuge. It’s not a place where you live. And I think what we have to do is to find a way to like the place where we live. TERRY TEMPEST WILLIAMS: It’s where my heart lives. Yes, it’s where I go for refuge. But it’s where I can see the pattern that connects. . . . I can be alone to contemplate, to remember where the source of my power lies—in the earth. I am renewed. Brought back to center. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 57 FINCH: Let me play devil’s advocate a minute. Aren’t you sort of being an aesthetic elitist? I mean you simply don’t want to see the signs of civilization that you depend on. . . . you want something different from where it is you have to live. WILLIAMS: See, I don’t think it is elitist. I think what’s elitist is private land. Wilderness is public land in the most profound sense. It’s there for everyone. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 58 When I’m in wilderness, I don’t feel it’s an institution. There is no ceiling or limitations. No human expectations that dictate its direction. When I’m in wilderness, I don’t feel that it’s contrived. It’s what it is. And it’s okay if we escape. I mean, yes, I am myself a dichotomy. I live in the city, and I go to the land to be refreshed. I think people have always done that on some level or another, in terms of that aesthetic need to be fed, to be still, to be calm, to be nourished – that whole idea of Mother Earth, if you want to get cosmic, Ed. --Terry Tempest Williams, Writing Natural History, 59 427 WISDOM … “The tension tortoise inspires calls for wisdom.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “To Be Taken,” Red, 91 “Political courage means caring enough to explain what is perceived at the time as madness and staying with an idea long enough, being rooted in a place deep enough, and telling the story widely enough to those who will listen, until it is recognized as wisdom— wisdom reflected back to society through the rejuvenation and well-being of the next generation who can still find wild country to walk in.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Wilderness and Intellectual Humility: Aldo Leopold, Red, 181-182 “Who is witness to this full-bodied beauty? Who can withstand the recondite wisdom and sonorous silence of wildness?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 120 428 WITNESS (generic) No, I have never created a child, but I have created a life. I see now, we can give birth to ourselves, not an indulgence but another form of survival. We can navigate ourselves out of the current. We can pull ourselves out of the river. We can witness the power of erosion as a re-creation of the world we live in and stand upright in the truth of our own decisions. We can begin to live differently. We can give birth to deep changed, creating a commitment of compassion toward all living things. Our human-centered point of view can evolve into an Earth-centered one. Is this too much to dream? Who imposes restraint on our imagination? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Labor,” Red, 163 “We are witnesses to this opening of time, vertical and horizontal at once. Between these crossbars of geology is a silent sermon on how the world was formed.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Desert Quartet: Water,” Red, 202 This is my place. It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. What does that mean to finally commit to a place, to a people, to a community? It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it does mean you can live with patience, because you’re not going to go away. It also means making a commitment to bear witness, and engaging in ‘casserole diplomacy’ by sharing food among neighbors, by playing with the children and mending feuds and caring for the sick. These kinds of commitments are real. --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 322-323 429 WITNESS TO BEAUTY AND VALUE Red I want to keep my words wild so that even if the land and everything we hold dear is destroyed by shortsightedness and greed, there is a record of beauty and passionate participation by those who saw what was coming. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 19 “individuals who care for the rocks will find openings—large openings—that become passageways into the unseen world, where music is heard through doves’ wings and wisdom is gleaned in the tails of lizards.” --Terry Tempest Williams, ““The Coyote Clan,” Coyote’s Canyon, Red, 25 “This country’s wisdom still resides in its populace, in the pragmatic and generous spirits of everyday citizens who have not forgotten their kinship with nature. They are individuals who will forever hold the standard of the wild high, knowing in their hearts that natural engagement is not an interlude but a daily practice, a commitment each generation must renew in the name of the land.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “America’s Redrock Wilderness,” Red, 70 I write to create red in a world that often appears black and white. . . . I write to imagine things differently and in imaging things differently perhaps the world will change. . . . I write against power and for democracy. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112 “I write as a witness to what I have seen. I write as a witness to what I imagine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 114 “The only thing that stops the pain is when I walk up Little Tree Hill, sit on its summit and feel the strength that still remains in rock, roots, and the hearty plants that will survive.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” 118 This living would include becoming a caretaker of silence, a connoisseur of stillness, a listener of wind where each dialect is not only heard but understood. Can we imagine such a livelihood? --Terry Tempest Williams, “Ode to Slowness,” Red, 141 “Where I live, the open space of desire is red. The desert before me is red is rose is pink is scarlet is magenta is salmon. The colors are swimming in light as it changes constantly, with cloud cover with rain with wind with light, delectable light, delicious light. The palette of erosion is red, is running red water, red river, my own blood flowing downriver; my desire is red. This landscape can be read. A flight of birds. A flight of words. Redwinged blackbirds are flocking the river in spring. In cattails, they sing and sing; on the riverbank, they glisten.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Red,” Red, 136 “I believe we need wilderness in order to be more complete human beings, to not be fearful of the animals that we are . . . an animal who understands a sense of humility when watching a grizzly overturn a stump with its front paw to forage for grubs . . . an animal 430 who weeps over the sheer beauty of migrating cranes . . . an animal who has not forgotten what it means to pray before the unfurled blossom of the sacred datura, remembering the source of all true visions.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Prayer for a Wild Millennium,” Red, 187 Refuge Unspoken Hunger Shells: “They remind me of my natural history, that I was tutored by a woman who courted solitude and made pilgrimages to the edges of our continent in the name of her own pleasure, that beauty, awe, and curiosity were values illuminated in our own house.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 15 O’Keefe: “I can’t help it—it’s all so beautiful!” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 23 “She spoke with sadness about being misunderstood, how people outside the Bronx did not recognize the beauty. I wasn’t sure I did.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 40 “the beauty inherent in marshes as systems of regeneration.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 41 “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 “There is no defense against an open heart and a supple body in dialogue with wildness. Internal strength is an absorption of the external landscape. We are informed by beauty, raw and sensual. Through an eroitcs of place our sensitivity becomes our sensibility.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Yellowstone: Erotics of Place,” Unspoken Hunger, 86 Mardy Murie: “Beauty is a resource in and of itself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Mardy Murie,” Unspoken Hunger, 90 “Who is witness to this full-bodied beauty? Who can withstand the recondite wisdom and sonorous silence of wildness?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 120 “The dark aircraft bank. . . . I am taken in by their beauty, their aerial finesse.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “All That Is Hidden,” Unspoken Hunger, 121 Others I write as a witness to what I have seen. I write as a witness to what I imagine. 431 --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” Interviews TL: You have been a strong supporter of the preservation of wilderness in Utah. Can you briefly explain why? TTW: I have been a strong supporter of wilderness preservation in Utah because it feels like these lands deserve protection from the continued rape of the West. That is not to say that I do not have respect for the extractive industry in my state, I do. But I believe some lands are truly special, say the word, "sacred," even--that because of their importance biologically speaking to the migration corridors of animals, the habitat necessary for threatened and delicate species of plants, and the spiritual values they hold for society and inspire: silence, awe, beauty, majesty--that these lands have their own sovereignty that deserves to be honored and defended by the law. I know it is very popular these days in some parts of the Academy to say that "wilderness" is simply a human construct, that wilderness has become irrelevant before it has become resolved. We do not have language that adequately conveys what wildness means, but I do not believe we can "deconstruct" nature. This notion strikes me as a form of intellectual arrogance. Personally, I feel grateful to the national park ideal, places of pilgrimage within North America that allow the public to engage with the natural world. I am grateful to those who enacted the 1964 Wilderness Act and the other pieces of legislation that try to maintain a possible integrity of clean air and water. Wilderness reminds us of restraint, that is a difficult and contentious idea for our society that defines itself on growth and consumption. There is no question this is "an American idea" but until we can come to sustainable vision where we do not exploit everything in sight, it's the best we can do-- Our challenge is how to create sustainable lives and sustainable communities in a dance with wildness. I believe that is what we are working toward in the American West and it is not easy. In fact, it is a long and arduous and at times, difficult process, one that requires a good deal of listening and patience and compassion. I keep thinking of Stegner when he said, "We need a society to match the scenery." --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 3 I think about Rilke who said that it's the questions that move us, not the answers. As a writer, I believe that it is our task, our responsibility, to hold the mirror up to social injustices that we see and to create a prayer of beauty. The questions serve us in that capacity. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 1 I know the struggle from the inside out and I would never be so bold as to call myself a writer. I think that is what other people call you. But I consider myself a member of a community in Salt Lake City, in Utah, in the American West, in this country. And writing is what I do. That is the tool out of which I can express my love. My activism is a result of my love. So whether it's trying to preserve the wilderness in Southern Utah or writing about an erotics of place, it is that same impulse -- to try to make sense of the world, to try to preserve something that is beautiful, to ask the tough questions, the push the boundaries of what is acceptable. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 2 432 London: Camus said that beauty can drive us to despair. Rilke also said something about that; he spoke of beauty as the "beginning of terror." What is it that is so terrifying about beauty -- especially the kind we find in nature? Williams: Scott, that is such a powerful point. You know, that Rilke quote -- "Beauty is the beginning of terror" -- I think about that a lot. I remember, Brooke and I were in Sagres in Portugal. In your travels, if you look at Portugal and Spain and Spain is the hair and Portugal is the face, Sagres is the chin. We were right there on this point and Brooke had gone in another direction and I was literally perched with the fishermen on this unbelievably steep precipice as they were throwing these lines of light down into the sea, hundreds of feet, and pulling up these fish for their families. It was so beautiful. I stayed there all day long. I had to fight to not leap off. It was not a suicidal response, it was not out of despair. It was out of this sheer desire to merge. That was terrifying to me, because I thought, "I am going to leap." I finally had to remove myself. And Brooke said, "Let's go on a walk tonight," and I just said, "I'm too afraid, because I have no control over the impulses I feel on the edge of that cliff." It was at that moment that I realized what Rilke was talking about: beauty as the beginning of terror. It's that realization that we are so small, and yet we are so large in our capacity to relate to the beauty of things. So, again, that paradox. My life meant so little at that moment. It was just much more important to be part of the sea. --Terry Tempest Williams, London Interview, 7 “I’ve been thinking about what it means to bear witness. The past ten years I’ve been bearing witness to death, bearing witness to women I love, and bearing witness to the testing going on in the Nevada desert. . . . And I’ve been bearing witness to beauty, beauty that strikes a chord so deep you can’t stop the tears flowing. . . . Bearing witness to both the beauty and the pain of our world is a task I want to be part of. As a writer, this is my work. By bearing witness, the story that is told can provide a healing ground. Through the art of language, the art of story, alchemy can occur. And if we choose to turn our backs, we’ve walked away from what it means to be human.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320-321 433 WITNESS TO LOSS Red These lands “will not remain ecologically intake without our own vigilance, without our willingness to protect what is wild.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 6 “I have added to this mix of essays, congressional testimony, newspaper clippings, and journals entries, to create both a chronology and collage for the reader, to feel the swell of a community trying to speak on behalf of wild places that are threatened by development or legislation in the United States Congress.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Home Work,” Red, 9 “I write to record what I love in the face of loss.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 112-113 “I write as a witness to what I have seen. I write as a witness to what I imagine.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Letter to Deb Clow,” Red, 114 “”The view before me, all around Little Tree Hill, has become too painful. Everywhere I look I see cuts in the landscapes, open wounds, gashes. I hear the roar and gnashing teeth of back-hoes digging another hole in the ground for habitation. Wherever I walk on the streets of Salt Lake City, I am seeing changes I can no longer bear. Too many cars, too many people, too many diversions beneath a ceiling of brown smog. In winter, we call it inversion, our inability to see the sky. We have become used to it, consider it part of our residency along the Wasatch Front. Never mind the depression that follows, that we fail to make the connection between a lack of sunlight and a lack of joy. As urban dwellers, we simply get up every morning and go to work.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 116 “I watched every tree that was being torn out of Little Tree Hill, every thicket ripped apart and tossed into a scrap pile. With each tear in the mountain’s side, I felt part of my belly being ripped open.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” Red, 117 “my spirit is shrinking in direct proportion to the shrinking landscape and vista. As wildness disappears, so does my peace of mind. I can no longer live here in joy.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “Changing Constellations,” 118 We are eroding. We are evolving. We are conserving the land and we are destroying it. We are living more simply and we are living more extravagantly. We are trying to live within the limits of arid country and we are living beyond the limits of available water. We live with a sense of humility and we live with a sense of entitlement. I hold these oppositions within myself.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Promise of Parrots,” Red, 129 434 Refuge Mrs. Allen at a town meeting: “I thought if my testimony could help in any way so this wouldn’t happen again to any of the generation coming up after us . . . I am happy to be here this day to bear testimony of this.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 284-285 “but one by one, I have watched the women in my family die common, heroic deaths. . . . In the end, I witnessed their last peaceful breaths, becoming a midwife to the rebirth of their souls.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge, 285-286 Unspoken Hunger “I have felt the pain that arises from a recognition of beauty, pain we hold when we remember what we are connected to and the delicacy of our relations. It is this tenderness born out of a connection to place that fuels my writing. Writing becomes an act of compassion toward life, the life we so often refuse to see because if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 57 Essay “Testimony,” Unspoken Hunger, --Terry Tempest Williams, “Testimony,” Unspoken Hunger, 125ff “I believe the idea of the Home Stand Act could incorporate this kind of community care and awareness, because it has everything to do with home rule: standing our ground in the places we love. This is the wild card we hold, and if we choose to adopt a Home Stand Act, nothing will escape our green eyes.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 136 “Olga Owens Huckins bore witness. Rachel Carson responded.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, 138 Marilynne Robinson: “ My greatest hope, which is a slender one, is that we will at last find the courage to make ourselves rational and morally autonomous adults, secure enough in the faith that life is good and to be preserved, to recognize the grosser forms of evil and name them and confront them. Who will do it for us?” --Terry Tempest Williams, “The Wild Card,” Unspoken Hunger, One Patriot “Rachel Carson did not turn her back on the ongoing chronicle of the natural history of the dead. She bore witness. ‘It was time,’ Carson said, ‘that human beings admit their kinship with other forms of life. If we cannot accept this moral ethic, then we too are complicit in the killing.’” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 44 “We can never forget the power of impassioned, informed individuals sharing their stories of place, bearing witness, speaking out on behalf of the land they call home.” --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 48 435 “Her witness had been equal to her vision.” --Linda Lear, quoted in Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 52 Do we have the moral courage to step forward and openly question every law, person, and practice that denies justice toward nature? Do we have the strength and will to continue in this American tradition of bearing witness to beauty and terror which is its own form of advocacy? And do we have the imagination to rediscover an authentic patriotism that inspires empathy and reflection over pride and nationalism? --Terry Tempest Williams, “One Patriot,” 58 Others I write as a witness to what I have seen. I write as a witness to what I imagine. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Why I Write” We have within us our own natural resources, a renewable energy for the wild fueled by the power of our hearts. There is no crisis here. We can gather together and stand, a million or more, as witnesses for the wild. We can raise our arms high above our heads, gently curve our elbows and bow, bow to the caribou, in the name of love. --Terry Tempest Williams, “A Bow to Caribou,” Wilderness, October 2001 Interviews TL: Your work is part of what seems to be a renaissance in the genre of nature writing. Why do you think this renaissance is occurring, if you think it is? TTW: I think there has always been a strong tradition in American letters of place-based literature, literature that sees landscape as character. Look at Melville, Thoreau, Emerson, Dickinson, Whitman of the nineteenth century and in this century, Mary Austin writing about the desert, Willa Cather writing about the prairies, Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck honoring the land in their novels and short stories. The list goes on and on, poets, too. W.S. Merwin, Galway Kinnell, Mary Oliver. Is this to be called "Nature Writing?" If there is a "renaissance" in the genre as you suggest with contemporary writers particularly in the American West, perhaps it is because we are chronicling the losses of the exploitation we are seeing, that we are trying to grapple with "an ethic of place" and what that means to our communities in all their diversity. --Terry Tempest Williams, Lynch Interview, 2 Traditionally, Christianity has made a distinction, a spiritual separation between human beings and other creatures, be they plants or animals. We have dominion over the Earth. This philosophy within the Judeo-Christian mind has wreaked havoc on the planet. We have abused our natural resources and given little thought to the notion of sustainability. I believe this is changing as we witness what the devastating effects of our irresponsible actions have created in terms of environmental degradation, be it global warming or deforestation or quite simply, the loss of open space within our cities and towns. We are slowly learning what it means to be good stewards, to enter into a dialogue with the land. --Terry Tempest Williams, Pantheon Interview (Leap), 6 436 She lists changes in the West. “all these lands are at risk . . . and that’s one of the things that fuels my work as a writer. Not so much as a polemic, I hope, but writing out of a sense of loss, a sense of grief and a sense of joy, because I think passion encompasses that full spectrum of joy and sorrow. That passion creates engagement. And I think that all we can ask as writers if for engagement in our life and on the page.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Siporin Interview, WAL, 101 “I’ve been thinking about what it means to bear witness. The past ten years I’ve been bearing witness to death, bearing witness to women I love, and bearing witness to the testing going on in the Nevada desert. . . . And I’ve been bearing witness to beauty, beauty that strikes a chord so deep you can’t stop the tears flowing. . . . Bearing witness to both the beauty and the pain of our world is a task I want to be part of. As a writer, this is my work. By bearing witness, the story that is told can provide a healing ground. Through the art of language, the art of story, alchemy can occur. And if we choose to turn our backs, we’ve walked away from what it means to be human.” --Terry Tempest Williams, Jensen interview, Listening to the Land, 320-321 “Bearing Witness” (all) 437 WORDLESS There is a particular juniper tree, not so far from our house, that I sit under frequently. This tree shelters my thoughts and brings harmony to mind. I consult this tree by simply seeking its company. No words are spoken. Sensations come into my body and I recognize this cellular awakening as an organic form of listening, the spiritual cohesion one feels in places like the Arctic on such a grand scale. A throbbing intelligence passes from this tree into my bloodstream and I remember my animal body that has evolved alongside my consciousness as a human being. This form of engagement reveals familial ties and I honor this tree’s standing in the community. We share a pact of survival. I used to be embarrassed to speak of these things, my private correspondences with trees and birds and deer, for fear of seeming mad. But now, its seems mad not to speak of these things—our unspoken intimacies with Other. --Terry Tempest Williams, “Engagement,” Orion, 55a WORDLESS 438 YELLOW “Coyote’s yellow eyes burned like flames as he danced around the cow carcass with a femur in each hand. “ --Terry Tempest Williams, Unspoken Hunger, 18 439