ATTENTION GETTERS
At the beginning of your essay, you need to GRAB the reader’s attention and make a point
about your position on an issue right away. Here are a few suggestions how.
Questions: Ask a question (or series of questions) to get your reader thinking.
Do you remember that cartoon with a mighty black prince looked like Denzel Washington? Remember? He
rescued the lovely black princess who looked like Halle Berry? Remember how the evil white wizard, an Arnold
Schwarzenegger look-alike, got chased by an angry mob of bees? Me neither. Perhaps that’s because African
Americans aren’t cast as heroes in cartoons.
Quotes: Select a quotation that relates to your topic &helps your position.
I once heard a quote that made me laugh. It said, “Love is the history of a woman’s life and an episode in a
man’s.” It was the kind of laugh that happens when something isn’t funny, when it’s only true, and it hurts. It
hurts because of the women I know, both young and old, who are bright, intelligent, and who have so much
going for them, but they still value their relationships with men more than their relationships with themselves
and other women.
Anecdotes: Tell a short story that is relevant to the topic of your essay to get the reader
emotionally tied in to what you are trying to argue. WARNING: Be careful not to get caught
up in the anecdote – it must be very short.
Am I fat? Look at my thighs. They’re huge. And my hips? Who’s going to like me with this body? “Someday my
prince will come,” Cinderella hums in my ear. No prince will claim me as his bride. I’m too ugly. Stepping on that
scale in the second grade was the beginning of the end for me. Weighing in at 67 pounds was horrifying. Just
like Tinker Bell when she looked into a hand mirror and realized her hips were too big in Peter Pan, I stepped
onto the scale and realized I was fat, enormous, disgusting. At least that was the image Tinker Bell helped me
paint of myself.
Startling facts or statistics from your research (wake-up call): Use shocking
information to grab the attention of the reader.
Fish with no eyes, fish with skin deformities, and fish with deteriorated fins and bones are being caught in the
Columbia River. Soon these mutated fish will pop up all over the western United States. No joke. The
government started a program to store nuclear waste on reservation lands volunteered by Native American
tribal councils.
Write YOUR attention getter (you may use another sheet of paper if you like):
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WRITING A THESIS STATEMENT
After you have your reader’s attention, you need to state your position and
introduce your arguments clearly and concisely!
You do this in a THESIS STATEMENT.
Thesis statement =
position statement because argument 1 and argument 2.
Example:
Position statement: Death Penalty should be abolished.
Argument 1: It is cruel and unusual punishment
Argument 2: There is the possibility of innocent people being executed.
Thesis statement: The death penalty should be abolished because it is cruel and unusual
punishment and there is the possibility of innocent people being executed.
Write your thesis statement
Position statement: _____________________________________________________
Argument 1: __________________________________________________________
Argument 2: __________________________________________________________
Thesis statement: ______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
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WRITING YOUR ROUGH DRAFT: RD Organizer
PARAGRAPH 1 - INTRODUCTION
Attention Getter:____________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
Thesis Statement:____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
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PARAGRAPH 2 – ARGUMENT #1
Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Evidence 1: ___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Evidence 2: ___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Evidence 3: ___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
PARAGRAPH 3 – ARGUMENT #2
Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Evidence 1: ___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Evidence 2: ___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Evidence 3: ___________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
PARAGRAPH 4 – COUNTER ARGUMENT & REBUTTAL
Counter Argument: _____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
Rebuttal:_____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
PARAGRAPH 5 - CONCLUSION
Restate your thesis statement:___________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Attention clencher:_____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
WRITING YOUR ROUGH DRAFT: The nitty-gritty details
Think of YOUR THESIS STATEMENT as a road map for your paper. Just as you built it from your position
and your 2 arguments, you break it back down to make the topic sentences for each of your paragraphs.
Consider this thesis statement:
Gun control does not reduce violent crime because people will find other methods of violence or they will find
illegal means of obtaining a gun.
Now you have:
1) A clear position on the issue:
Gun control does not reduce violent crime.
2) A topic sentence for your first pro paragraph
People will find other methods of violence.
3) A topic sentence for your second pro paragraph
People will find illegal means of obtaining a gun.
THE PARAGRAPH - Characteristics of a good paragraph:
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A clear and concise topic sentence
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Supporting evidence - supports the argument/topic sentence
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Unity - means that all sentences in the paragraph directly support the topic sentence.
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Coherenence, which means that all the information of the paragraph is well-organized, logically ordered
and easy to follow. This is accomplished by:
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Transition words and phrases (see below)
INTRODUCING QUOTATIONS:
You should incorporate quotations into your writing instead of dropping material into your essay without a
smooth connection. Always distinguish your ideas from those of your sources by introducing your quotes. You
should use identifying phrases such as "Jones points out that" or “According to Principal Higgins.”
Other verbs that you can use are acknowledges, suggests, concludes, insists, predicts, discloses, observes,
believes, explains, summarizes, implies, notes, comments, claims, illustrates, reports, warns, admits,
finds, concurs, affirms, proposes, speculates, indicates.
Without quotation introduction
When a school requires uniforms, the entire culture of the school makes a shift. “We had fewer fights and
more students going to class on time.”
With quotation introduction
When a school requires uniforms, the entire culture of the school makes a shift. According to Jim Smith,
Principal at Jefferson Charter School (which just switched to uniforms), “we had fewer fights and more
students going to class on time.”
AFTER you introduce your experts, you do not have to give the full introduction every time.
For example
“I consider safety an important issue on campus”, notes Smith, “and the uniforms have improved that as well.”
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF TRANSITIONS!
Transitions are words which help clarify, explain, and define the relationship between ideas
and terms. They enable the reader to see how ideas are related to linked with one another.
They make your writing and thought appear more unified.
***TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING ADDITION (AND)***
additionally, also, furthermore, in addition, moreover, too, besides, not to mention
***TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING CONTRAST (BUT)***
however, in contradistinction to, as opposed to, nonetheless, on the other hand, yet,
conversely, on the contrary, in contrast to, although, nevertheless
***TRANSITIONS INTRODUCING EXAMPLES***
as a example (illustration), for example, for another example, for instance, in particular,
such as, namely, to illustrate, that is
***TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING STAGES OF THOUGHT***
first, second, then, consequently, finally
***TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING A CONCLUSION***
therefore, consequently, in conclusion, to conclude, summing up, accordingly, evidently, in
closing, thus, then, on the whole, in sum
TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING A CONCESSION
as you probably know, certainly, of course, naturally, no doubt, since, even though, because
TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING EMPHASIS
above all, especially, indeed, in fact, in particular, more importantly, certainly, surely, to
repeat, it is clear that
TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING QUALIFICATION
maybe, perhaps, possibly
TRANSITION EXPRESSING REASONS
as, because, because of, since, for, a reason for this is
TRANSITIONS EXPRESSING A SUMMARY
and so, in summary, in other words, in short, to summarize, to sum up
*Keep this handout – you WILL use it again, and again, and again