“Nurture strongly influences early human
development”. Discuss
Since the seventeenth-century, whether nature or nurture plays the most
important role in early human development has triggered a heated debate.
According to some data and experiments made by the scientists from
many different fields, this essay will discuss these both points of view.
Supporters of the nature hypothesis believe that the personal
characteristics are already determined by the genetic structure. Charles
Darwin, who came up the theory of evolution, is the one of the supporters.
He proves that person’s sex, the color of the skin, eye, hair, ethnicity all
determined by the genetic structure of the fertilized ovum (Text2.1, lines
50-61).In addition, genes program the cells in origin so that people can
distinguish the voice, taste, smell by himself. All sums up to show that
nature play a significantly powerful role in the early human development.
On the other hand, there also have the other voice in academia. Those
who support nurture argue that the genetics alone do not shape a child,
and it can merely affect the appearance, In addition, early human
development is mostly depended on the environment. In the 17th century,
John Locke came up with the new notion in his century that a newborn
infant is a ‘blank slate’, and an infant gets information and knowledge
supplely by its own experience (Text2.1, lines5-14). Moreover, John
B.Watson , B.F skinner and some other behaviorists gave a new
explanation to this theory hundred years later” early training can turn a
child into any kind of adult, regardless of his or her
heredity”(Text2.1,lines25-30). More recent studies indicate that extra
practice and stimulation can help the infants improve their motor
development. There are two direct trials including some information that
further describes the theory; First, a group of newborn who were given
stepping practice for a few minutes began to walk five to seven weeks
earlier than babies who had not had the practice (Zelazo, Zelazo&Kolb,
1972); Second, the children reared in USA homes begin to speak about
one year earlier than the children reared in San Marcos, where the children
often have little verbal interaction with adults.
To conclude, both nature and nurture have great impact on infants’ growth
and it is difficult to compare which influences early human development
most. Heredity influences what his or her are while environment decides
what his or her behavior. They work together constantly to guide an infant
grow to maturity.
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Hi Succi! It's great to hear from you again. I have read your essay, and I
must say I am impressed with your level of writing! You should be very
proud of yourself! :) However, there are still a few things that could be
corrected to make this essay even better. I go through these corrections
step by step.
First off, the title. From your title, my first impression of this essay before
reading was that you would be arguing or discussing in light of nurture,
being the strongest influence in early human development. Yet, when I
finished reading your essay, your conclusion states how you found both
nature and nurture to have great impact. So, maybe it would be best if you
changed your title? Maybe change it to "Nature and Nurture Strongly
Influencing Early Human Development."
Now onto the essay! Note: the words highlighted in red are what I believe
should be changed.
Paragraph 1: Since the seventeenth-century, whether nature or nurture
plays the most important role in early human development has triggered a
heated debate. According to some data and experiments made by the
scientists from many different fields, this essay will discuss these both
points of view. [NOTE: These highlighted words in red show that you can
delete them. Scientists is plural so you don't really need "the" to specify it.
You can also delete "many" because the words "many" and "different"
basically mean the same things. Also, you can delete "these" because it
simply doesn't make any sense with that additional word in the sentence.]
Paragraph 2: [YOUR ORIGINAL VERSION] Supporters of the nature
hypothesis believe that the personal characteristics are already determined
by the genetic structure. Charles Darwin, who came up the theory of
evolution, is the one of the supporters. He proves that person’s sex, the
color of the skin, eye, hair, ethnicity all determined by the genetic
structure of the fertilized ovum (Text2.1, lines 50-61). In addition, genes
program the cells in origin so that people can distinguish the voice, taste,
smell by himself. All sums up to show that nature play a significantly
powerful role in the early human development.
[NEW SUGGESTED VERSION] Supporters of the nature hypothesis believe
that the personal characteristics are already determined by the genetic
structure. Charles Darwin, who created the theory of evolution, is one of
the supporters. He proves that the person's sex, color of the skin, eye, and
hair, and ethnicity are all determined by the genetic structure of the
fertilized ovum (Text 2.1, lines 50-61). In addition, genes program cells so
that people can distinguish the voice, taste, and smell by himself. All this
show how nature play a significantly powerful role in early human
development.
Paragraph 3: [YOUR ORIGINAL VERSION] On the other hand, there also
have the other voice in academia. Those who support nurture argue that
the genetics alone do not shape a child, and it can merely affect the
appearance, In addition, early human development is mostly depended on
the environment. In the 17th century, John Locke came up with the new
notion in his century that a newborn infant is a ‘blank slate’, and an infant
gets information and knowledge supplely by its own experience (Text2.1,
lines5-14). Moreover, John B.Watson , B.F skinner and some other
behaviorists gave a new explanation to this theory hundred years later”
early training can turn a child into any kind of adult, regardless of his or
her heredity”(Text2.1,lines25-30). More recent studies indicate that extra
practice and stimulation can help the infants improve their motor
development. There are two direct trials including some information that
further describes the theory; First, a group of newborn who were given
stepping practice for a few minutes began to walk five to seven weeks
earlier than babies who had not had the practice (Zelazo, Zelazo&Kolb,
1972); Second, the children reared in USA homes begin to speak about
one year earlier than the children reared in San Marcos, where the children
often have little verbal interaction with adults.
[NEW SUGGESTED VERSION] On the other hand, there are also other
views in the academia. [OR: On the other hand, there is also another
argument in academia.] Those who support nurture argue that genetics
alone do no shape a child, but can merely affect the appearance.
Furthermore, [I chose furthermore because you already used "In addition"
in the previous paragraph.] early human development is mostly dependent
on the environment. In the 17th century, John Locke came up with the
new notion that a newborn infant is a 'blank slate', and an infant gets
information and knowledge supplely by its own experience (Text 2.1, lines
5-14). Moreover, John B. Watson, B.F. Skinner and some other
behaviorists gave a new explanation to this theory hundred years later
stating how "early training can turn a child into any kind of adult,
regardless of his or her heredity." (Text 2.1, lines 25-30) More recent
studies indicate that extra practice and stimulation can help the infants
improve their motor development. There are two direct examples that
further describe this theory [or, "this study"]. The first shows a group of
newborns who were taught to walk for a few minutes each day, began
walking five to seven weeks earlier than babies who had not had the
practice. (Zelazo, Zelazo & Kolb, 1972) The second shows how children
reared in US homes began to speak about one year earlier than children
reared in San Marcos, where children have minimal verbal interaction with
adults.
Last Paragraph: [YOUR ORIGINAL VERSION] To conclude, both nature
and nurture have great impact on infants’ growth and it is difficult to
compare which influences early human development most. Heredity
influences what his or her are while environment decides what his or her
behavior. They work together constantly to guide an infant grow to
maturity.
[NEW SUGGESTED VERSION] To conclude, both nature and nurture have
great impact upon the growth of infants. Hence, it is difficult to compare
which influences early human development most. Heredity influences who
they are, while the environment decides their behavior. They work
together constantly to guide an infant's growth to maturity.
I hope all of this is clear to you. I know it's long, but if you have any
questions or still don't understand why I have changed/deleted certain
parts of your essay, please do not hesitate to contact me on wiki!! I will be
happy to answer your questions and to help you any time. And I hope you
do well on your essay!
Andrea