ADVANCE FUNERAL DIRECTIVE
The funeral is our final opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one, an occasion for family and friends to
come together to support one another and an important element of the grieving process. The structure
and content of the funeral may be of concern to a person before they die. They may want the funeral to
reflect their life or beliefs, or perhaps convey messages to the survivors. Many bereavement advisors are
aware that this can be achieved through the completion of a funeral directive that has been considered in
advance. This approach is also suited to those cemetery and crematorium authorities committed to
improving funerals in accordance with the Charter for the Bereaved.
Funeral wishes, whether in a Will or as described below, are not legally binding after death. It is, therefore,
advisable to identify who will give instructions for your funeral, so that you feel confident that your wishes
will be followed. If you have a partner to whom you are not married and they are not appointed your
executor, consider their needs carefully. It is not unusual for parents to take control when an unmarried
person dies, and the partner’s wishes can be ignored. It is also helpful, and often therapeutic, if your
partner, family and friends can follow your wishes after death. Meeting your wishes is part of the grieving
process for them, and forms part of their separation from your life. It can also be a process in which you
can consider their needs and perhaps integrate them into the funeral in some way. If friends or relatives
act as bearers, read a eulogy and or perhaps have specific names or events mentioned during the
service, it can be helpful to them. Once these opportunities have passed, they can never be recovered.
This document also enables pertinent questions to be asked about the kind of funeral that is desired, and
ensures that there is some control over the arrangements. It can be distressing to have to consider these
questions at the “crisis” time of a death. You will also be able to price the various funeral options, with
funeral bills being split into two parts. The first is “disbursements” - the sums usually paid by the funeral
director, assuming you are using one, on your behalf, to doctors (for cremation), the cemetery or
crematorium and the minister. Cemetery and crematorium staff can tell you precisely what these charges
are in the local area. The second part is the cost of the funeral arrangements made by the funeral director
themselves. These include the cost of collecting, handling and retention of the body, embalming, the
coffin, viewing the body, the hearse and cars, and all the professional arrangements. Two or more quotes
should be obtained from funeral directors. For these to be comparable, it is better to have a fairly precise
idea of the kind of funeral you want before you seek quotes. In general, the more you use the funeral
director, the more complex the funeral or the greater number of people attending, the more expensive it
will become. Conversely, an informal funeral using a hearse but no limousines, no viewing of the body and
a low cost coffin can be less expensive.
Keep this document with your Will, or somewhere known to the person arranging your funeral. This point
is important! It is not unusual to have the wrong type of funeral because the Will, which contained funeral
directions, was not read until after the funeral. You can amend this form however you wish, and add
pages if you need to. You can delete sections that do not apply and it can be photocopied.
If you want to learn more about modern funerals, obtain a “green” funeral or do a funeral without using a
funeral director, consider the following:
1. Natural Death Centre – www.ndc.org (very practical, lots of advice especially on green options)
2. The Good Funeral Guide by Charles Cowling www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk and book
If the questions below do not apply or do not concern you, put a line through them to show you were not
interested.
Details for the funeral of
Full Name
......................................…………………………
Address
..............................................................................................
……………………………………………………………… Postcode …………….
PRELIMINARY DETAILS
(1)
I have/have not written a Will - location of Will..............................................
If there is a Will, please treat this document as expanding on the wishes expressed in that Will,
with the Will taking legal precedent if relevant.
(2)
My next of kin is: …………….........................……………...............................
Address ..........................................................................................................
Post code .......................... Tel. No .................................................
(3)
If different from the above, the person arranging the funeral will be:
Name ................................................
Address ..........................................................................................................
Postcode ............................Tel. no ……….......................................
If you have a Will, and this person is not the executor, then any executor must agree to the
arrangements in this document. If you make your bank your executor, charges, at perhaps 4% of
the estate, can prove very expensive!
(4)
Do you wish to donate your body to medical science?
YES/NO
If YES, this must be arranged before you die. As you will not have a conventional funeral,
much of this form will not apply. NB A high proportion of bodies are not acceptable for donation &
confirmation is essential.
(5)
Have you completed a “Living Will”
A Living Will directs your doctors over recovery from serious Illness. If you
answer YES, a copy should have been lodged with your GP, and you should state the
location of it when asked at the end of this directive.
YES/NO
ARE YOU USING A FUNERAL DIRECTOR?
(6)
Is the person arranging your funeral going to use a funeral director?
YES/NO
If YES, and you have a particular funeral director in mind, enter
their name here …………………………………………………………………………...
If you do not enter a name, it will be assumed that you will leave the choice to the person
arranging the funeral. If you put NO, you will need to enter the name of the person who will
arrange your funeral without a funeral director. They will need to take advice from cemetery or
crematorium staff to ensure they can handle the arrangements.
(7)
Do you have a pre-paid Funeral Plan?
If YES, and a nominated funeral director must direct the funeral, enter their name
YES/NO
……………………………………………………………………………………………………
Funeral Plans vary in what they include. Please ensure that the Plan covers the
costs of what you include in this directive.
FUNERAL DETAILS
(8)
(9)
Is it your wish to die at home, if possible?
If YES, do you want to have your body retained at home until the
funeral, if this is possible?
If you should die in a hospital/nursing home, do you want
your body to be returned home prior to the funeral?
YES/NO
YES/NO
YES/NO
If YES, indicate how long for
.............
(10)
In most situations, nurses lay out the body at the time of death. Where it is possible,
would you prefer someone else to do this, or perhaps assist? If yes, give name and
contact details:
.................…………………………………………………………………………………………
(11)
Do you wish your body to be embalmed?
YES/NO
If you choose woodland burial, embalming may be prohibited, as the formaldehyde used is not
environmentally friendly. Embalming is often called “cosmetic” or “hygienic” treatment by the
funeral profession, and a charge is made for the service. It is not an essential process prior to
burial or cremation. If you require further information, please request a leaflet on embalming
taken from the Charter for the Bereaved.
(12)
Do you wish for your body to be viewed?
YES/NO
This is usually arranged by funeral directors using their chapel of rest (or repose). Most bodies are
viewed in the coffin, although other settings can be arranged. A fee is usually charged for viewing
at agreed times. Costs may be higher if more than one viewing is arranged or if viewing is outside
normal office hours.
(13)
If you answered YES to viewing, are you content that anybody who wishes is allowed to
view your body?
YES/NO
If you circled NO, list here who should not be allowed, or state that you will attach a list of these
people to this document
………………………………………………..................................................................
(14)
What type of coffin do you require?
STANDARD/PURE WOOD/GREEN/OTHER
Standard coffins from funeral directors are made of veneered chipboard/MDF with plastic handles
and lining, and cost from £300+. The coffin lasts only a few months when buried in soil, and
causes some pollution whether buried or cremated. Pure wood coffins and “caskets” (often made
in the USA) are available from funeral directors but often cost in excess of £1,000.
“Green” coffins made of cardboard, pure wood, wicker, sea grass and bamboo can be obtained
via the internet although a wool burial shroud, not suitable for cremation, is more difficult to
source. Prices can be much higher, and availability more difficult, through local funeral directors.
To improve the cremation process, a few crematorium services offer a re-usable coffin – an outer
shell with a cardboard coffin inside, and a reduced cost “environmental cremation” option for
people using a green coffin.
Other types - if you require an unusual, or artist painted coffin, details of the supplier, design and
size must be discussed with cemetery or crematorium staff. You can make your own coffin, if you
prefer. The Natural Death Centre offers advice on coffin construction.
(15)
At the funeral, do you want your body transporting in (please tick):A standard hearse......... A motorcycle hearse.…….. An estate car......... Horse drawn hearse........
Other (please describe) ...........................................................................................
(16)
Do you want following limousines for the immediate family?
YES/NO
Traditional funerals have at least one limousine, often more. A charge applies for each car.
Mourners can use their own vehicles if they own them, or a mini-bus can be hired, etc.
(17)
Bearers - Would you prefer family bearers?
YES/NO
Four bearers are needed to carry up to 16 stone in weight, and six above that. Although male
bearers are traditional, there is no reason why women cannot perform this final act
Or: bearers provided by a funeral director?
YES/NO
A charge will apply for bearers
(18)
Flowers - do you want to leave wreath choice to mourners?
Or: do you want family flowers only?
YES/NO
YES/NO
Or: no flowers?
YES/NO
Some people see flowers as a waste and prefer donations (for instance, most crematoria dispose
of wreaths worth well over one million pounds each year). Others prefer to see flowers used from
their garden. Most wreaths are made of plastic frames, oasis and plastic wrapping. These are not
suitable for a “green” funeral, cannot be re-cycled and will never bio-degrade after they are
removed to landfill. A small number of crematoria recycle wreaths.
(19)
Donations – do you want donations at your funeral?
YES/NO
Where people oppose flowers, want family flowers only or feel strongly about supporting the local
hospice or charity, they choose this option. This is an important source of funds to these
organisations. The donation must be announced in any obituary and the money sent by post, or a
collection taken at the funeral service.
(20)
Obituaries – do you want an obituary in a local publication?
If YES, which publication(s)?
…………….............................................................
And: How many entries?
…….............................................
(21)
Do you have any special requests?
YES/NO
If YES, please describe …………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………
This might include a letter or photo to be placed in the coffin, a special route for the hearse or
jewellery left on your body, etc. It is important to avoid placing flammable or explosive substances
in the coffin if cremation is to be used.
YES/NO
THE FUNERAL SERVICE
(22)
Do you require a funeral service?
YES/NO
A service is not a legal requirement and your body can be taken directly to the crematorium or
cemetery without ceremony. If you chose NO, and have a partner or family, please ensure they
agree. It is sometimes difficult for people to grieve when no service is held.
(23)
If you chose NO, briefly describe how your body will be delivered to the cemetery or crematorium.
Many funeral directors will offer you a low cost funeral option where no service or formality is
required. If you propose to have your body transported by family or friends, you should discuss
your wishes with cemetery or crematorium staff before you complete this section. A large estate
car or van will be needed to carry the coffin, and able bodied bearers.
…………………………………………………………………………………..………………………….…
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
(24)
If you chose YES to a service, complete either part A or part B below:
The Christian religious service is divided into two parts, the “main service” (about 20 minutes)
which can be held in a crematorium chapel, any church or chapel, at a funeral directors or any
place you have permission to use, and the “committal” (about 4 – 5 minutes). These are
combined if all the service is held at the crematorium. For burial, the “committal” part occurs when
you get to the graveside. Many other religions and non religious services follow a similar pattern.
You can, of course, change this format however you wish, but confirm changes with any minister
you propose to use.
(A) CREMATION - will the full service take place at the Crematorium?
YES/NO
If NO, will the committal take place at the Crematorium?
YES/NO
Where will the main service be held? ……………………………………………………………..
A leaflet “Questions People ask about Cremation” is available from the crematorium.
(B) BURIAL - please note that many parish and smaller cemeteries no longer provide a chapel.
An external church or chapel can be used although this may restrict the choice of music to
religious only. If you are using a service that provides both burial and cremation, you can often
hold a burial service in the crematorium chapel.
Do you want the entire service at the graveside?
As no seating is available, this means standing for over 20 minutes and
protection from bad weather is rarely available.
YES/NO
OR: the main service in a chapel or church at ……………………………………….............................
followed by the committal at the graveside.
Please give the name of the church, chapel or funeral directors chapel. Note that a fee usually
applies and that church and organist fees can cost in excess of £150.00.
USING A CREMATORIUM CHAPEL?
(25)
If you have chosen to use a crematorium chapel, have you confirmed it has sufficient
seating for the numbers expected at the service?
YES/NO
Booking times at most crematorium chapels is at 30 minute intervals with some offering longer.
Extra time can usually be arranged although a fee may apply.
THE FORMAT OF THE SERVICE
(26)
What religion/spiritual belief/philosophy will the service be based upon?
......................................................................................................................
(27)
Do you have a minister, humanist officiant or person in mind to take the service?
YES/NO
If YES, please give the name …………….…………………………………………..
If you answered NO, it is assumed you will leave the choice to the person arranging the funeral.
The service can be taken by a friend or relative, if they agree. Cemetery or crematorium staff may
have contact details for humanist officiants and other ministers.
(28)
What format would you like the service to follow?
Most religious services follow a set format, although ministers vary over how much variation, pop
music, poetry, etc. they will allow. Secular (non-religious) services are entirely your choice. You
can leave a video or audio tape recording for playing at the service, or write out every word for the
service, if you so desire. If you have any preferred wishes, enter them here:Music entering: .....................................…………………………………….
Music leaving: .............................…………………………………………..
Hymns
………………………………………………………………..
Any tapes, CD’s during service: ................................................................…..
Any text or poems
................................................................................…….
Please ensure that the music is available and known to whoever is making arrangements. If you
are using the organ, ensure that your requests can be played – most classical music cannot!
Many crematoria use the Wesley Music system, which offers a huge choice of recordings.
Any other details....................................................................................
This might include not closing the committal curtains at the crematorium, using flowers to decorate
the chapel, items placed in the coffin (no glass and dangerous items if cremation is chosen), items
placed on the coffin during the service, photographs displayed in the chapel and any form of
symbolism or ritual you might prefer.
(29)
(30)
Do you want an address (eulogy) at the service about your life?
If YES, is the text enclosed?
If NO, who will devise the eulogy? ………………………………………………….
Is there somebody you would prefer to give the eulogy at the service?
If YES, give their name ……................................................................................
YES/NO
YES/NO
Is the service open to all?
If NO, please state who is not to attend ………………………………………………..
………………………………………………………………………………………………
YES/NO
YES/NO
(31)
Are there any particular person(s) you wish to be invited to the service that might
otherwise be forgotten?
If YES, say whom .......................................................................................………
YES/NO
AFTER CREMATION
(32)
After cremation, where would you like your cremated remains placing?
....................................................................................................................………….........................
............................................................................................................................................................
At most crematoria, the cremation fee includes the placement of the cremated remains in the
Garden of Remembrance. Alternatively, as cremated remains pose no threat to the environment,
they can be strewn on land and in fresh or saltwater. If strewn on the land, perhaps at a favourite
spot, the permission of the landowner is theoretically necessary (but rarely obtained).
(33)
If an urn or casket is required, have you a design or type you prefer?
YES/NO
If YES, what type
......................................................................................................................
If the cremated remains are taken away for strewing somewhere, a low cost plastic container is
usually provided by the crematorium (some people are offended by these!) Wood caskets are
usual for burial although some churches will not allow any container and they must be poured into
the soil. More expensive stone, ceramic & bronze urns can be purchased for burial, or for keeping
cremated remains at home or in storage.
(34)
Do you require any form of memorial after cremation?
YES/NO
If YES, do you want your cremated remains placed with the memorial
YES/NO
If YES, you need to check whether such memorials are provided at the crematorium. Alternatively,
small cremated remains graves are often available at local cemeteries. If such graves are too
small or the memorials not to your liking, you can often choose the more expensive option of a
new full size grave at a cemetery of your choice upon which you can place a full size memorial. If
you own an old grave in a local cemetery or churchyard, or are related to the deceased grave
owner, consider using this. Many caskets can be interred in old graves (even though they are full
for conventional coffins) and it is an ideal way of keeping family burials all together.
If NO, you can choose a memorial (placed separate to the cremated remains) at the crematorium
such as a Memorial Rose with a bronze plaque, Book of Remembrance or inscribed teak seats.
Alternatively, you may prefer a memorial that benefits society in some way. This might include an
inscribed teak seat in the streets or parks of your local town or even a memorial oak stile sited on
your favourite walk. You may find other forms of memorial through hospices, local hospitals and
churches.
If you have decided on a specific memorial, please state here ………………………..…………….
BURIAL DETAILS
If you already own a grave, go straight to Q.40
(35)
For a new grave, which cemetery do you wish to be interred in? ......................................................
If you have a particular memorial in mind, it is essential to choose a cemetery with graves suitable
for the memorial type you desire. You can often purchase a grave in advance, if you prefer.
(36)
Is this is a Natural Burial site?
YES/NO
The definition of natural burial varies and some sites are not particularly ‘green’. Visit the site to
ascertain the requirements and ideally to identify the ecological purpose of the site & how if will
appear in 100 years. A ‘green’ site should be expected to restrict mowing, prohibit embalming
(Q.11), require a green coffin (Q14) & may severely restrict memorial choice. Rural sites (and
rural conventional cemeteries) may lack toilets and be difficult to access for aged grave visitors.
(37)
If more than one, how many burials will occur in the grave?
Please name the other anticipated burials, if you can?
ONE/TWO/THREE
2. ……………………………………
3. ……….……………………………
(38)
Who will be registered as the owner of the grave?………………..…………………………………….
Making a (young) person the grave owner (a child must be over 18) will avoid the need to change
the ownership after your death. If you have an unmarried partner, have the grave deeds in your
and their name if you wish to ensure that you are both buried together.
(39)
Do you require a ‘consecrated’ grave?
Consecration is only performed by the Church of England and is guaranteed if you
select a parish churchyard. Many cemeteries & natural burial sites no longer formally
consecrate grave plots so if it is important, make the necessary enquiries.
(40)
If you are being buried in an existing grave, state cemetery:
and the grave number:
YES/NO
………………….…………….......
………………………………........
Please indicate in the list at the end where the grave deeds are located
Is it a grave “reserved” in advance with no burials?
If NO, give details of the last burial:
date.....................……
name................……….................
YES/NO
GRAVE MEMORIAL
(41)
Do you have a specific type and design of grave memorial in mind?
If YES, please attach details of the memorial.
YES/NO
Please ensure that your preferred memorial is permitted on the grave you own or wish to have
purchased. Graves rights are typically sold for 50 – 100 years and you should anticipate that any
memorial will be removed and destroyed after this period.
Have you a preferred mason to supply and fix the memorial?
YES/NO
If YES, enter their name here …………………………………………………………………
Staff at the local cemetery can usually provide you with a list of local memorial masons. They are
also listed in Yellow Pages. If you see a cemetery memorial you like, you may find the memorial
masons name and contact details attached.
Have you chosen the content and format of the inscription?
YES/NO
If YES, is a copy enclosed with this document?
YES/NO
If NO, it will be assumed you will leave this decision to the person who arranges the funeral.
(42)
If the grave is in a Natural Burial site, have you identified a tree as a memorial?
YES/NO
If YES, specify the species of tree …………………………………………………………………………
Often, bare rooted trees are planted in Autumn and this may delay any associated ceremony. Not
all natural burial sites plant trees on graves and you may wish to confirm this point.
SUBSEQUENT MEMORIAL SERVICE
(43)
Do you require a memorial service after your death?
YES/NO
This could be in a church, or alternative venue, perhaps when the cremated remains are going to
be strewn or interred, or perhaps a tree planted.
If YES, please give details ……………………………………………………………….
………………………………………………………………………………………………
COMMEMORATION
(44)
If you require a form of commemoration after your death, please give details:
......................................................................................................................
This may include a donation to the hospice or charity, endowment, gift to parish or church, the
planting of a tree or placing of a seat. If the information is given in a Will or is confidential, there is
no need to give details here.
LAST WISHES
(45)
Is there any last wish, or words unsaid you wish to say now?
YES/NO
If YES, state here or say where located ..................................................................….......................
……………………………….................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................................
(46)
Have you left letters, instructions, etc. for reading after your death?
YES/NO
If YES, state location ………………………………...........................................
and to whom addressed..................................................................................
Signed:.…..………………………………................................................... Date………………………….......
Full
name......……………………………………………………………………….......................................................
Address
………………………………………………………………..……………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………. Post Code………………………….
The following items will be required by the executor or your family to complete your estate. This is
particularly important if you live alone. Fill in the details below where they apply. For items such as
your bank account or rent books, simply indicate in which room/drawer they are located. Ensure
you cross out what does not apply to save people searching for them:
PERSONAL
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
NHS Card and/or NHS Number
Marriage certificate
Birth certificate or date of birth
Maiden name if married woman
If married, name of spouse
If married, occupation of spouse
Present or last employer
Present or last occupation
9. Mortgage details
10. Home insurance details
11. Life insurance details
12. Rent books
13. Gas supplier details
14. Electricity supplier details
15. Water supplier details
FINANCIAL DETAILS
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
……………………
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
23. Bank account
………………..
24. Building Society Account(s) ……….
25. Credit card(s)
………………..
26. Unit trust(s)
………………..
27. ISA Fund(s)
……………….
28. Share(s)
………………..
29. Premium Bond(s) ………………..
30. State pension
………………..
31. Occupational pension………………
32. War pension
………………..
33. Hire purchase agreement(s)……….
34. Accountant
………………..
35. Stockbroker
………………..
GRAVE DEEDS
36. If you own a grave, where are
the grave deeds? …….………….
16. Telephone account details
17. Car details
18. Details of your GP
19. Any medication? (state location)
20. Solicitors details
21. Living Will
22. Organ donor cards
KJW/20/1/2013
…………………...
…………………...
…………………...
..………………….
…………………...
…………………...
……….…………..
DONATING BODY TO MEDICAL SCIENCE
37. Location of agreement………………..
PACEMAKER
38. Do you have a pacemaker or similar
appliance on your body?
YES/NO
(These can explode in cremators!)