NOTE: The nine mistakes in the paragraph are currently in bold. This can be used
as an in-class exercise, a quiz, or an exam question, and of course can be edited for the
needs of your class and the level of their writing. An explanation of each error can be
found on the second page of this document.
Identify and correct the nine mistakes in scientific writing, APA style, and grammar
in this paragraph from the discussion section of a research report
This study examined the relationship among stress, personality, level of anger,
and disease. The major hypotheses were found to be true {1}. Consistent with the work
of Garon &{2} Mantel (1994), the data was{3} shown to yield a significant negative
correlation between stress level and disease (p < .01). However, it is worth noting that the
predicted effect of personality type was not significant. These results do not support
previous research in this area (Garon et al., 1994) {4}. The ANOVA yielded the most
significant{5} finding (p < .001) and confirmed the central hypothesis. These findings
have important implications for health psychologists. Facilitating a one’s expression of
anger can reduce stress which, in turn, may lower their{6} risk for disease. One desired
criteria for the sample of subjects{7} was not met. The adults in the study were
comprised of only 70 girls{8} but two hundred{9} men.
1. THE TRUTH ABOUT HYPOTHESES
Hypotheses are never “found to be true” because statistical tests that support hypotheses
are probability statements. Appropriate language indicates that hypotheses are
“supported”, “adopted”, or “accepted”.
2. PROPOER IN-TEXT CITATIONS.
The proper format for in text citation for two authors is Garon and Mantel. Garon &
Mantel is only used for parenthetical citations (Garon & Mantel, 1994)
3 & 6 SINGULAR AND PLURAL: PARALLEL STRUCTURE.
Good writing requires that there be parallel structure between subject and verb; plural
subjects should have plural verbs and singular subjects should have singular verbs.
Several words commonly used in psychological writing have the appearance of being
singular when they are plural.
Probably the most common error is the use of "data," a plural noun, with a singular verb
("data was . . . “). In the example, “the data were” is the correct form. (The singular form
of “data” is “datum”.)
4. "Et al.”
Meaning “and others” in Latin, “et al.” is used only after a reference has been cited fully
once in the text and if there are three or more authors in the citation. Since the Garon and
Mantel reference has only two authors, it is incorrect to use “et al.” here. The one
exception to this rule occurs when the initial citation has six or more authors. In this case,
“et al.” can be used on the every citation.
5. THE SIGNIFICANCE OF “SIGNIFICANCE”.
The term “significance” has multiple meanings, so it is important to be careful using the
term.
Results are not “very," "almost," or “slightly” significant. A p-value of .01 is not more
significant than .05 or less significant than .001. A statistical test is significant or it is not.
For non-scientists, the term “significant” is synonymous with “important”, "meaningful,"
or "noteworthy." However, when scientists use the term “significant”, they typically have
a quite different meaning in mind namely that a given result is “statistically significant.”
It’s important for beginning scientific writers to realize that results that are statistically
significant may not necessarily be noteworthy findings. Care must be taken that your
reader is not confused about the way in which you use the term.
6. See # 3 above.
7. PARTICIPANTS ARE SUBJECTS TOO.
The terms "subject" and "sample” may be used when discussing statistics. In all other
cases, "participant" or "respondent" is preferred because such terms convey a sense of
active involvement in psychological research. Note, however, that this rule only applies
when writing about people. Even though animals are vital for psychological research, it
has not become necessary to recognize their active involvement and thus it remains
acceptable to describe rats, mice, and cats as “subjects”.
8. BIASED LANGUAGE.
To reduce bias in writing, identify all participants appropriately. The terms “girl” and
“boy” are only appropriate for those of high school age and younger. As the participants
are identified as adults the proper term would be “women”. The imbalance of the terms
“girl” and “men” suggests a bias against women on the part of the author.
9. IS IT TWELVE OR 12?
Numbers below 10 are spelled out (e.g., “two”), numbers 10 and above are generally
written in numerical form (e.g., “200”). See section 3.42 of the APA manual for the
exceptions to this rule
Adapted from:
A SELF-SCORING EXERCISE ON APA STYLE AND RESEARCH LANGUAGE
Marilyn Freimuth, Society for the Teaching of Psychology (APA Division 2)
OFFICE OF TEACHING RESOURCES IN PSYCHOLOGY (OTRP)