Brianne Jordan
COMM 1050
Reel Paper
Due: November 5, 2013
Expectancy Violations Theory in Film
The theory we have discussed in class that I have so far been the most interested in, has
got to be the Expectancy Violations Theory (EVT), developed by Judee Burgoon. Before diving
into her theory, I want to talk for a minute about her background. Burgoon has always had a
special place in her life for academics, as evidenced by her extensive participation in
extracurricular activities, and her dedication to academic excellence. She graduated from Iowa
State University with a double major in Speech and English, and a double minor in Social
Studies and Education. She went on to obtain a master’s degree, and even further a doctorate in
Communication and Educational Psychology. She continued to remain in academics by
becoming a teacher. She is the recipient of various awards for teaching, and her extensive work
has led to her recognition as one of the most notable scholars in communication. The nice thing
about Burgoon’s development of this theory is that she is completely open to adjusting her
theory wherever there are holes. These adjustments have also lead to the development of
additional theories. Her theories focus primarily on interpersonal communication, and include
the Interpersonal Adaptation Theory, Interpersonal Deception Theory, and EVT.
I found the class discussion about this theory to be especially enlightening because we
were assigned the task of putting it to the test. EVT begins by defining personal space, and the
respect we hold for our own expectations that this space not be violated. What I appreciated
about the class discussion was that while many students tested this theory in the physical realm,
others tested the theory emotionally or verbally. I personally found that my peers’ experiences
testing EVT in emotional situations were fascinating because those experiences were able to
show that violating someone’s expectations could be a positive thing, rather than being pretty
consistently negative. Since I was so intrigued by these experiments, and by the theory itself, I
was very determined to find a movie that incorporated it. I was delighted to realize that one of
my favorite movies was pretty much built on this theory: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
This movie is about a woman, Andie Anderson, who writes for a magazine’s “How To”
column. A good friend of hers is going through an emotional breakup, and to protect her friend
from having to write about the experience as suggested by their editor, she ends up being
assigned the article “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, the point being to help women recognize
things they do all the time that drive men away from intimate relationships. Andie finds a guy,
Benjamin Barry, who seems interested in her, and decides to use him as the subject of her
column. Little does she know, Benjamin is in advertising, and has made a bet with coworkers
that he can make a woman fall in love with him, just as he can make a woman fall in love with a
product for a campaign he wants to be in charge of. So throughout the film, Andie is trying to
push Benjamin away, but he stays with her even though she is driving him crazy, because he
wants her to fall in love with him. Hilarity ensues as they continually violate the other’s
expectations, both physically and emotionally.
On Andie and Benjamin’s first date, they are both acting how you would expect. They
get to know the basics about each other, and focus more on having fun than on getting too
serious or deep within their conversation. Andie is following society’s basic dating rules at this
time – remaining somewhat mysterious and not acting clingy or needy – in order to “hook”
Benjamin and encourage him to want to take their relationship beyond a one night stand. It’s
actually Benjamin who is the first one to put EVT into practice. He challenges her expectations
by wanting to take things slowly in their physical relationship because he wants her to see him as
a gentleman so she’ll fall in love with him. Things continue in a pattern that would generally be
considered “normal” for a couple at the beginning of a relationship. Andie and Benjamin share a
love for basketball, and they enjoy their time at a New York Knicks game until Andie “flips the
switch” and EVT factors in to the plot of the movie in a big way from this point on. She causes
him to miss the very end of the game because she suddenly becomes very needy. She insists she
needs a drink, and then acts picky when it’s “not diet”, even though in reality, she doesn’t mind
the regular soda. This kind of neediness shows a familiarity with a person that is not typical for a
second date.
Andie continues to practice EVT by doing things like calling frequently, coming up with
pet names or referring to him as her boyfriend, acting jealous, moving her possessions into
Benjamin’s apartment without permission, buying them a pet, interrupting his guys’ night, and so
much more! All of this occurs in the first week of their relationship. Andie fully expects this
behavior to send Benjamin running, because by typical dating standards, her behavior is way too
sensitive, clingy, and serious, rather than a casual, getting-to-know-one-another type of behavior.
She continually violates his expectations for how a new girlfriend should act, and he continually
violates her expectations by not running away from the relationship at full speed.
My favorite scene is when Andie introduces Benjamin to a special scrapbook she’s taken
the liberty of creating. The scene unfolds like this:
Andie: I did something kind of bad today.
Benjamin: Eh?
Andie: Yes, I used photoshop at work today to composite our faces together to see
what our kids would look like. (Reveals photo album) Our family album!
(Long, awkward silence as Benjamin looks very alarmed and weary of the book)
Andie: You don’t want to see our children?
Benjamin: We don’t have children…
(Andie breaks down into hysterics)
Benjamin: You know what? I’m sorry, no, no, no, I didn’t mean it like that. All
right? Show me, show me, show me. Please show me.
Andie: “We don’t have children…”
She proceeds to show him pictures of their wedding, their children, family vacations, et cetera,
all the while he is completely freaked out. The discussion of such serious topics so early on in
their relationship is an excellent example of violating someone’s expectations.
Another important part of EVT is Burgoon’s theory that when one’s expectations are
violated, they look for an explanation as to why the situation unfolded the way it did. During
Andie’s interruption of Benjamin’s guys’ night poker game, other people start to experience her
behavior firsthand and they begin to ask questions about that behavior. Benjamin and his friends
have conversations like:
Thayer (friend): Is she on something?
Benjamin: God, I hope so.
On a level, they hope she has a mental problem, or a substance addiction, because it means there
is a reason for the behavior, and not just that she isn’t socially competent. We also believe that
by understanding the root of one’s behavior that we can better predict how they will act in the
future.
Essentially, the entire film is based around this theory. Watching people act in a way that
would not be classified as “normal” in any way, makes for good entertainment. I honestly would
not be surprised if the writers took the basis of the story directly from this theory. The
screenplay adaptors stayed true to the story, and kept it in line with the theory, and Donald Petrie
directed it in such a way that it was impossible for the theory to be missed during the film. I feel
that this film is a perfect example of EVT.
Watching this movie again made me realize just how much EVT factors in to personal,
intimate relationships. Whether we like to admit it or not, when we enter into a relationship, we
do have expectations for how everyone will behave. It may be unspoken, and even unclear at
times, but it is very obvious when those expectations are violated. In this particular instance, it
ended up being a good thing that Andie and Benjamin were “forced” to stay together, instead of
following their natural instincts when these violations occurred, because they do end up falling in
love, and working through the discovery of the other’s deception during those first 10 days.
People usually look at how negative it can be when someone violates our expectations,
and the torment that Andie and Benjamin seem to experience through the movie supports that.
Sometimes, however, it can be a positive violation. The next way Andie violates Benjamin’s
expectations is by showing that she values their relationship more than the success of her
column. She sums it up in the introduction of her published column by saying
“’I’ve lost a guy, and I don’t know why. What went wrong?’ When I started
writing this month’s column, I wanted to commit those certain silly dating faux
pas. What I didn’t realize was that I was making the biggest mistake of all.”
Works Cited
Griffin, Emory A. "Chapter 7: Expectancy Violation Theory." A First Look at Communication Theory.
Boston: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2009. 84-96. Print.
Griffin, Emory A. "Chapter 9: Social Penetration Theory." A First Look at Communication Theory.
Boston: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2009. 115-17. Print.
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. Dir. Donald Petrie. Perf. Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey.
Paramount Pictures, 2003. DVD.
Rodrigues, Anna, Sylvia Buchanan, Nathan Bugden, Kathryn Dykstra, and Jan Mazzulla. "EDUC5102 Expectancy Violations Theory (Burgoon)." Expectancy Violations Theory (Burgoon). N.p., 2013.
Web. 02 Nov. 2013.