ASCHAM OLD GIRLS REUNION 8th August 2009
40 Years on – A BOARDER’S PERSPECTIVE
It was a given that those of us who lived out of the cities would
be ‘a boarder’, that we could no longer to continue at our local
public school or home schooling for our education; & as my mother
sysinctly put it that if I stayed ‘one was likely to get pregnant at
16 & married to a fettler at the railway at 17”. As my best
friend from school was the result of such a pregnancy &
subsequent marriage, who was I to argue. So, it came to be that
every term we were sadly fare welled from small railway sidings
around NSW.
Thus the boarding experience would be one of strong and mixed
emotions.
One emotion I think we all identified with, was the one of
incredible homesickness- that feeling of total abandonment one
felt esp., when arriving back at Central station to be met by a
House Mistress with all the emotion of an Easter Is Statue.
This got me to thinking ---- How was it that these women actually
got their jobs?!!
Our junior house mistress was Mrs. or Old Ma Wait as we very
daringly called her behind her back.
I can see her at the interview headed up by the Ascham school
board (ASB). ‘Sooo tell us why you wish to be house mistress
full of emotionally traumatized and homesick girls.
M W “Well like them I have no friends, and I don’t even have a
family who want to see me any more.
I have nowhere to live – so am in need free food and board; I
have no ability to relate with young ‘gels’ - oh I do like cats. My
cat, Puss’ums, that is – ASB – ‘Oh that’s great, highly strung
Siamese cats and girls have a lot in common!!! That’s great, you’ve
got the job’!!!
1
Interview with Mrs. Rowe of Raine House
Mrs. R - ‘We’ll I never had a happy relationship with any one; I’m
from the Queens country I can teach this a bunch of colonialists
how to speak and behave, I have nowhere to live so I’m in need of
free board & food --- Oh I do love dogs. My dog Pancho that is!
ASB – ‘Oh that’s great, dogs and girls having similar training
needs. You’ve got the job’!!!
Interview with Miss Sharp of Glenrock House – ‘Well, as you can
gather I have never been married but I see that as an advantage
as I have been able to frighten off every potential male suitor
and therefore can do so with any young male who dares to walk
through the gates of the school,
plus I am able to intimidate any boarders parent with my stone
faced stare; I have no sense of humour; my code dress that
hasn’t changed since the 1940’s, so I can set the right dress code
for the gerls. Oh & I don’t care for cats or dogs or teenage girls’!
ASB –‘That’s great- if you are seen as caring and empathetic, the
girls might take advantage of you --you’ve got the job’!
I think it was because of these emotionally devoid house
mistresses that we had to look else where to have our needs
meet. Thus it was to each other we turned and from there strong
relationships developed, & a resilience that has helped us deal
with the many challenges we’ve confronted in our various lives.
Was it a reflection of our unmet emotional needs that resulted in
our unusual obsession with food? Looking back we sent alot of
time in Cahill’s restaurant eating comfort foods like cheesecake
and its famous butterscotch sauce; being a boarder there was
always a birthday so an ice-cream cake was a great way to bring
friends together; having midnight feasts on food stored amongst
our dirty laundry was hugely bonding;
and of course we would
never have dealt with the emotion trauma of the exams if it
haven’t been for the vita wheat biscuits and cheese slices!!!
2
So you can imagine my surprise to discover in reading the
Charivari that the ‘day girls’ also had a similar emotional need for
food that competed with the Boarders – no task for the faint
hearted I assure you!!!!
I had been reading about the contributions you had all made to
various teams and committees – but the committee that had the
greatest interest and support was & here I’m going to read the
activist names – Susan Cohen, Bonnie Saunders ,
Catriona Anderson, Angela Cook, Jennifer Cunliffe,
Elizabeth Dick, Claudia Emery, Wendy Fuller, Stephanie Garland,
Jennifer Halliday, Janis Hardcaslte , Karen Hedberg, Susan Kerr,
Melanie le Guay, Anthea Mair, Katherine Massey-Green,
Diana McSweeney, Belinda Paul, Margaret Phippard, Adele Piggin,
Helen Ritchie, Pam Toohey,
Geraldine Weekes and Margaret Yeates – in case you were’nt
counting, that’s 26 of you !!
So what was the role for this huge committee?
Well their role was to run this very needy organization called the
TUCKSHOP!!!
And after a full year of every day girl and boarder spending up
big at the tuckshop they raised enough money to send to 2
important organizations – Children’s Medical Research &
Freedom from Hunger Campaignthe amount….. $15 each!!!!
Obviously our needs were greater than theirs!
However on a more serious tone, & reflecting on what I think my
feminist grandmother, Linda Littlejohn, would have to say on of
our times – I can only think she would have been thrilled to see
that regardless of our ‘perceived ability, or lack of it in my case,
by the school’ that all of us were expected as women to be well
educated and that our parents were willing to make financial
sacrifices for us to do so;
3
it was a time where we could make choices about what we
wanted to do for a our careers; if & when we wanted to marry;
we had control over our fertility and could enjoy sex for its own
sake; we could be financially & intellectually independent;
we felt liberated enough to challenge existing standards by being
first to wear mini skirts & jeans with a fly; dye our hair with
magic silver white, buy Rolling stones records with highly
suggestive words like ‘ I can’t get know satisfaction’ ( not that we
knew what it actually meant) and danced crazy dances the twist
& the trog !!!!
However in spite of the very comprehensive Dolton system, being
a boarder often meant that we were sheltered from much of the
main stream of life – I naively came out of Ascham believing that
‘pot’ was something you did a wee into, the a ‘lesbian’ was an
Italian sausage and that a ‘poofter’ was a smelly fart.
However like all Ascham women, both before and after us, the
one truism is that our school experience developed bonds
between us & established this wonderful interconnectedness that
has remained strong throughout all our diverse and often
physically separated lives.
The Ascham experience brings with it an immediate connection
with those whom we shared those same formative years.
I sense that at this reunion tonight we will all reflect very much
on those ‘connections’- those who added to our laughter, our
crazy antics and personal friendships…. in particular I would like
to mention those who can no longer be with us :Melanie Le Guay, Maret Glanville, Julie Buckmaster, Janie
Cartwright, Annabel Coles, Edwina Abrahams and most recently
Mindy Stannard. I would like to believe that their presence is
with us this evening.
4
In acknowledgement of those who have or are dealing with
overcoming personal tragedies and health issues – in particular
those of you taking on the challenges to overcome cancer.
I congratulate you for your fortitude and resilience.
It also needs to be recognized that many could not make it here
tonight due to having taken on responsive caring roles for other
family members or having other personal issues to attend to –
your presence is greatly missed – maybe 2019 will be your
year!!
Finally I would like to share with you what I had written in my
diary over 40yrs ago- a Sat in 1968 - ‘ Went to DJs – brought
‘Love Me Do’ – oh Ringo Starr is ‘so cool’. Miss Bavin (augh) - has
allowed us to use the assembly hall tonight for dancing- wore my
pink skirt (mini of course) and DB.s ( those essential fashion
items - dessert boots) Quote ‘When we are dancing just amongst
ourselves it is so much better– we girls do, do it better!’
Well girls we do!!
Well done Ascham girls of 69 – Keep on dancing!!!
5