Great Expectations: How Expectations
Influence Perception
Natalie Welzel
June 10, 2010
Speech 10 – Interpersonal Communications
Tuesday/Thursday, 4:10
Professor Haley
We are constantly using the process of perception. The way we perceive things is
important to our communication with others because our perceptions of people affect the way we
communicate with them. I recently watched the movie He’s Just Not That Into You and within
the first few minutes of the film, I immediately became interested in the way we perceive others
based on our own expectations. The women in the film carried certain expectations concerning
their relationships and their dating lives. These expectations basically lead them to
misperceptions. So how do our expectations influence our perceptions? To begin with, it affects
us in infancy and continues as we age, forming a part of our identities. Expectations also
significantly affect body image perception, especially in women. In order to communicate more
effectively, people could do with learning how to not let their expectations obscure their
perceptions.
Perception, as defined in our textbook, is the process we use to create meaning for others,
objects, occurrences, and other events (Wood 68). We use this process by selecting what we
notice, organizing it by assigning meaning, and interpreting these meanings. The expectations
that each of us have are influenced by prototypes, personal constructs, stereotypes, and scripts
(Wood 69). These four representations help us assign meaning to our perceptions. For example,
the prototype we hold for a significant other greatly affects the way we perceive potential
boyfriends or girlfriends. In the film, one of the women’s prototype for a marriage consists
mainly of trust and honesty. When she finds out her husband has been cheating and lying about
smoking, their marriage does not fit her prototype and she leaves him. Based on our
experiences, we develop personal constructs that we employ to evaluate others (Wood 69). One
of the female characters in the movie uses her personal constructs to assess all the men she goes
on a date with, constantly trying to find the right guy. However, her personal constructs are
skewed. In the beginning of the film she mentions the common stereotype that girls are taught at
a young age that if a boy acts like a jerk to her that means he likes her. Stereotypes influence
perceptions, often in flawed ways. Our daily lives and interactions are full of scripts. In the
film, one of the females holds onto the common script that if two people are in love, they are
supposed to get married. This script leads her to break up with her long term boyfriend who
does not ever want to get married but yet truly loves her.
He’s Just Not That Into You may have been a humorous film, but it had also led me to
think about the ways women perceive relationships. I feel that our general expectations for how
dating and relationships should work can actually lead us to misperceptions about a man we’re
interested in. I can admit that I have been guilty of this in the past. I’ve misread a boyfriend’s
actions and communication because I had certain expectations that influenced my perception. I
have misinterpreted comments and supposed “signs” I’ve received from guys I had been
interested in. Many women are guilty of this.
Baby boys and girls are perceived differently. According to Sharon Begley in the
Newsweek article “Pink Brain, Blue Brain,” adults see baby boys’ and girls’ “identical behavior
through a gender-tinted lens” (Begley). This finding is based on the studies of Lise Eliot, a
neuroscientist. In a study where newborns were dressed in gender-neutral clothing, adults who
believed the babies were boys, but were actually girls, perceived them as ill-tempered and upset.
Adults who believed the babies were girls, but were actually boys, perceived them as cheerful
and social. In another study, mothers had to guess how steep of an incline their babies could
crawl down. Mothers guessing their son’s ability were close to accurate, while other mothers
had underestimated their daughters’ abilities. Due to this type of underestimation, parents may
unknowingly restrict their daughter’s physical abilities. Begley points out that how we identify
and distinguish children “shapes how we treat them and therefore what experiences we give
them” (Begley). This leads to gender differences in adults that do not come from nature, but
instead from nurture. Eliot claims that there is very minimal concrete evidence of these
differences in children’s brains (Begley).
Women are looked at as the more fragile sex. We are expected to be less physical and
weaker than men. Basically, I believe women are underestimated. I feel as if I am expected to
be emotional just because I am female. However, I don’t get emotional often. I know I can be
strong, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Due to adults’ gender expectations as
children grow up, I feel as if girls are often misjudged.
Expectations that come from the media largely influence our expectations and
perceptions as well. A very common expectation that women have about body image is shaped
by media and its standards. We are daily bombarded by images of thin, beautiful women in
advertisements and entertainment. These images affect the expectations and perceptions of
many men and women into thinking this is what all women should look like. This expectation
may lead to eating disorders. Women typically perceive themselves as overweight, even when
compared to objective principles they are not (Lee). This can result in low self-esteem and
negatively affect communication skills. According to Seunghee Lee in an article about body
image perceptions, 78% of teenage girls would like to weigh less and only 14% were
comfortable with their weight (Lee). She also states that unhappiness with body image grows
during the teenage years and is associated to psychological self-esteem and excessive dieting
(Lee). In a study done by Fallon and Rozin, women thought men liked females to be thinner
than the men actually professed. It also showed that the women’s current weight was heavier
than what they considered to be attractive for a woman (Lee). In a study by Attie and Brooks-
Gunn, adolescent girls that perceived their body weight negatively were more expected to take
on an eating disorder just two years later (Lee). Often, a female’s worth is associated with her
physical attractiveness (“Body Image”). A distorted view of body image can lead an overlycritical woman who is excessively preoccupied with her appearance to not just eating disorders,
but also depression and social isolation (“Body Image”).
While I consider myself lucky to never have felt the need to develop an eating disorder, I
definitely have been influenced and affected by the media’s representations of a perfect body.
Victoria’s Secret catalogues and commercials have made me feel as if my body is not good
enough. The stereotyped perfect body that many of today’s female celebrities have has made me
feel a little inadequate. I know a few women who are quite critical about their body image even
though they are told constantly that they have a great body. Their expectations have guided their
perceptions to believe they’re not as good as the models in the advertisements.
Expectations can cloud a person’s perception. When we let our expectations guide the
way we perceive people and ourselves, misconceptions can occur and lead to ineffective
communication. Adults’ expectations affect their perceptions of infants and children, leading to
gender differences that may restrict and limit the child. Self perception and unnecessary
expectations for our own body image tends to lead to low self-esteem, depression, social
isolation, and eating disorders. Relationship expectations may lead to misperceptions and bad
relationships. I’ve learned that we should not let our expectations completely direct our
perceptions and the way we identify and give meaning to others. The research should continue
on to find the best ways to improve our perception without letting our prototypes, personal
constructs, stereotypes, and scripts lead us to misinterpretations. We need to cautiously form our
perceptions in order to improve our communication skills.
Works Cited
Begley, Sharon. "Pink Brain, Blue Brain: Claims of sex differences fall apart." Newsweek
14 Sep. 2009: ABI/INFORM Global, ProQuest. Web. 9 Jun. 2010.
“Body Image.” Human Diseases and Conditions. 2010. Human Illnesses and Behavioral
Health. 7 June 2010. <http://www.humanillnesses.com/Behavioral-Health-A-Br/BodyImage.html>
He’s Just Not That Into You. Dir. Ken Kwapis. Perf. Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Aniston,
Jennifer Connelly, Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long, and Scarlett Johansson.
New Line Cinema, 2009.
Lee, Seunghee. Body image perceptions and clothing behavior issues for adolescent daughters
and their mothers. Diss. Auburn University, 2006. ProQuest Psychology Journals,
ProQuest. Web. 10 Jun. 2010.
Wood, Julia T. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters. 6th ed. Wadsworth:
Boston, 2010.