NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2011 — page 1 of 6
Assessment Schedule – 2011
English: Read and respond critically to unfamiliar prose and poetry texts (90724)
Evidence Statement
QUESTION ONE – Text A: Desert Rose
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE valid language technique
from the first five paragraphs
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE valid language technique
from the first five paragraphs
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE valid language technique
from the first five paragraphs
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment about
how the technique relates to ideas
or images in the rest of the text.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how the technique
relates to ideas or images in the rest
of the text.
Presents an integrated discussion
of the links between the
technique(s) and ideas or images in
the rest of the text.
There may be more than one
reference point, and the discussion
will provide more detail.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the passage.
Examples of language techniques
Metaphor
 “Waiouru has always existed as its own planet” (line 1); “Waiouru is a desert island” (line 2); “the Desert Road …
often fails to reach its shore” (lines 3–4).
Simile
 “Even the sky looked as though it was trying to burrow itself under the ground” (lines 5–6); “you cling to it like the
logical explanation for a nightmare” (line 9).
Superlative
 “New Zealand’s most famous highway, the Desert Road” (line 3); “the Desert Road is the spookiest highway in
New Zealand” (line 7).
Hyperbole
 “and everyone drives through fast” (line 8).
Repetition of adjectives
 “The road was closed, opened, closed and opened” (line 4).
Adjectives
 “unique and afar” (line 1).
Personification
 “the sky … trying to burrow itself under the ground” (lines 5–6).
Comments / discussion linking the chosen example to images and ideas later in the text may refer to:
 the inhospitable environment
 the isolation when the winter sets in
 the juxtaposition of ugliness and beauty
 the impenetrable nature of the landscape
 the link between the motorists’ fears and the ghostliness of the town
 the irony of the image of a desert island, which would normally be tropical / alluring; Waiouru is the opposite – icy
and barren.
Possible links:
 Waiouru as a “planet” or something alien, with “the colour of scorched earth is red and black” (line 25).
 The Desert (Road) as a “nightmare” or “a sea of madness”, with “shivering and naked and incoherent” (line 27).
 Nature’s vulnerability in “Even the sky looked as though it was trying to burrow itself …”, with “shocked to the
core” (line 28).
 Waiouru as a “desert island”, with the desert as “a thing of beauty” (line 26).
 The “spookiness” of the environment, with Hector the eel (paragraph 5) as something grotesque and unnatural.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2011 — page 2 of 6
QUESTION TWO – Text A
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies and gives examples of at
least TWO techniques from the text
that develop the sense of chaos
Identifies and gives examples of at
least TWO techniques from the text
that develop the sense of chaos
Identifies and gives examples of at
least TWO techniques from the text
that develop the sense of chaos
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment about
at least ONE technique.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how at least ONE
technique is used to develop the
sense of chaos.
Presents, with support from the text,
an integrated discussion of the
links between at least TWO
techniques and the sense of chaos.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the text.
Possible origins for the sense of chaos include:
 the unpredictable weather and forces of nature
 the untameable non-human inhabitants – Hector the eel; the wild horses
 the rigours of army life in difficult terrain – the teenage boys etc.
Examples of specific techniques
Deliberate anticlimax
 “Wild horses, horse-eating eels, teenage boys” (line 19) – shifts from extraordinary life to the mundane; allows a
sense of personal engagement / enjoyment / humour.
Use of infinitive verb structure
 “… to run when told to run, to sleep when told to sleep, to freeze without any instruction” (lines 22–23) – adds
pace or urgency / creates a sense of unease due to the dictatorial nature of the environment.
Listing
 “Wild horses, horse-eating eels, teenage boys” (line 19) – all figures of rebellion.
Simile
 The desert “always looks like it has been blasted to hell and back” (lines 10–11) – it is an unnatural / violent /
inhospitable environment, a place of no life.
Colourful adjectives
 “… incredible eruptions, ghastly flows of lava” (lines 11–12) – the location is overwhelming, unpredictable.
Metaphor
 The desert is “a sea of madness” (line 10); “a cold fierce wasteland, shivering and naked and incoherent,
shocked to the core” (lines 27–28) – the environment is unsafe, threatening, almost / potentially violent; there is
the suggestion of physical and mental instability.
Rhetorical questions
 “Actually, what didn’t he eat?” (line 17); “where does it grow …. Actually, could anything grow in Waiouru?” (lines
24–25) – suggest even the writer is struggling to understand the situation.
Incomplete sentences
 “Wild horses, horse-eating eels, teenage boys.” (line 19) – all are untamed / unrestrained.
Antithesis
 “A town of ghosts and roses” (line 24) – the unusual pairing might be considered chaotic.
Complex sentence structure
 The penultimate paragraph (lines 19–23) conveys the sense of the chaotic busyness / action of army life.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2011 — page 3 of 6
QUESTION THREE – Text B: Otago Peninsula
Achievement
Makes a relevant comment
attempting to explain how the
metaphor of the portcullis is
developed throughout the poem.
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how the metaphor of
the portcullis is developed
throughout the poem.
Presents an integrated discussion
of how the metaphor of the portcullis
is developed throughout the poem.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the whole poem.
The discussion must unpack or explain the idea of the portcullis as it relates to the text – as a metaphor for the
harsh weather.
The answer must include reference to the overall idea of the poem (the peninsula or the environment) – further
images of battle and conquest are not sufficient.
Discussion may refer to:
 the idea that humans are turned away by the portcullis (the elements, the environment, the heavy rain)
 “crumbled dreams” (line 13) linking with the notion of the portcullis of an ancient, weather-beaten castle
 “conquer” (line 14) linking to a castle and its portcullis
 the shape or image of the portcullis (the elements of weather) being seen elsewhere in phrases and images, eg:
- “bones” (line 2) resemble the grating of a portcullis
- “stone wall” (line 8) may suggest the entry to a stone castle / fortification
- “slanting rain” (line 10) mirrors the grating of a portcullis (and links to “portcullis of rain”)
- “ribs of the land” (line 11) may suggest the grating of a portcullis.
An integrated discussion will include one or more of the following ideas:
 humans can’t survive on the land; it is fit only for animals and horrific weather, eg:
- people’s bones “lie awash in the slush” (line 3) – images of death, helplessness
- the slush ”saddened and sometimes defeated them” (line 4) – humans were ‘beaten up’ by the land
- “Here … crumble the fondest dreams and prophecies” (lines 11–13) – there is no future for humans
- repetition of “No one came” (line 14) – suggests the invincibility of the land (and the power of the portcullis)
 the portcullis (of the elements) defeats the environment – “earth’s colours sprawl on paddock, stone wall and
crumpled sea” (lines 7–8)
 the portcullis is aligned with the rugged environment – “scabby hedges” (line 5); “tough grasses” (line 11).
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2011 — page 4 of 6
QUESTION FOUR – Text B
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies a mood created in the last
three lines
Identifies a mood created in the last
three lines
Identifies a mood created in the last
three lines
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment
attempting to explain how the mood
is developed throughout the poem.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how the mood is
developed throughout the poem.
Presents an integrated discussion
of how the mood is developed
throughout the poem.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the whole poem.
Possible moods:
 defeat – “no one” was successful
 resignation – “beaten down”
 rejection – “turned away”
 frustration – the repetition of “no one came”
 sadness / melancholy – repetition of “no one came”
 defiance / triumph – “no one came who was not … turned away for another time” – the land has been
successfully defended.
Discussion may include reference to examples such as:
 negative nouns – “rain” (lines 1 and 10); “bones” (line 2); “slush” (line 3)
 negative adjectives – “scabby” (line 5); “crumpled” (line 8); “sparse” (line 9); “tough” (line 11)
 negative verbs – “saddened … defeated” (line 4); “punching” (line 10); “beaten” (line 15)
 metaphors – hedges “cling to the slopes” (line 5); hills are ”yoked by sky” (line 6)
 personification – “fists of winds punching the ribs of the land” (lines 10–11)
 repetition – “no one” (line 14)
 presentation of a whole collective as defeated – “men and women … them” (lines 2–4)
 listing – draws out resignation through sentence construction.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2011 — page 5 of 6
QUESTION FIVE – Comparison of Texts A and B
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies at least ONE aspect of
each writer’s attitude toward their
environment
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE aspect of each writer’s
attitude toward their environment
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE aspect of each writer’s
attitude toward their environment
AND
AND
AND
Refers to each text to exemplify
each writer’s attitude to their
environment.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion comparing and
contrasting each writer’s attitude to
their environment.
Presents an integrated discussion
comparing and contrasting each
writer’s attitude to their environment
There may be some explicit or
implicit reference to language
techniques.
There may be some explicit or
implicit reference to language
techniques.
There will be some attempt to
compare and contrast the texts in
some way.
The focus may be on the attitudes
and how they shape the texts.
There may be some unevenness in
the discussion of the two texts.
“Comparing and contrasting” implies that the candidate will write about similarities and differences in the writers’
attitudes to their respective environments.
Evidence may be repeated from previous responses.
Attitude of Writer A
 Fears the wild and unforgiving environment.
Attitude of Writer B
 Fears that this environment is no place for humans.
 Sees the environment as inhospitable.
 Is aware of the dominance of animal over humanity.
 Is aware that the land is alive with or without
humanity.
 Sees nature as protective of itself.
 Delights in (or acknowledges) the “supernatural”
aspects of the environment.
 Marvels at the environment’s ability to destroy body
and mind.
 Has a sense of the Desert Road going on forever.
 Is resigned to the land’s eternal triumph.
 Acknowledges the enduring strength of the
environment.
 Sees the environment as a wasteland but beautiful
too.
 (Almost) admires the natural state / gloomy, tragic
environment.
 Finds the environment admirable and uniquely
dramatic / mysterious in its attractiveness.
 Is impressed by the haunting power of the natural
landscape / the majestic violence of the peninsula.
 Finds pleasurable elements in the “organised chaos”.
 Sees tackling the environment almost as a rite of
passage.
 Has a humorous attitude (“Hector the eel”).
 Has the sense that the land should be left alone.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2011 — page 6 of 6
QUESTION SIX – Comparison of Texts A and B
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE stylistic feature from each
text
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE stylistic feature from each
text
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE stylistic feature from each
text
AND
AND
AND
Refers to each text to show how the
stylistic features convey a sense of
desolation.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion comparing and / or
contrasting how the writers use
stylistic features to convey a sense
of desolation.
Presents an integrated discussion
comparing and / or contrasting how
the writers use stylistic features to
convey a sense of desolation.
There may be some attempt to
compare and / or contrast the texts
in some way.
There may be some unevenness in
the discussion of the two texts.
Evidence may be repeated from previous responses.
Comparison of similar stylistic features could include:
 both texts use figurative language
 both texts use concrete diction
 both texts use language from the field of nature
 both texts written as alive without human engagement
 both texts use negative connotations (“stranded”, “scorched”, “incoherent” in Text A; “saddened”, “defeated”,
“crumpled”, “beaten” in Text B)
 both texts make significant use of metaphors
 both texts make significant use of adjectives, often via alternative use
 both texts refer to people collectively rather than as individuals.
Contrast of stylistic features could include:
 writer A uses place-names to talk about the desolation and isolation in the locale
 in Text A humans are accommodated by the environment; in Text B humans are turned away
 in Text A there is a sense of humour that isn’t present in Text B. Stylistic features include personification – “The
wild horses … snorting sighs of relief” (lines 17–18)
 writer A uses rhetorical questions – “where does it grow in Waiouru?” (line 24) – to reflect on the desolation
 writer A uses adverbs to modify sentences – “actually, could anything grow in Waiouru?” (line 25) – to make the
tone more conversational
 writer A uses more repetition to reinforce the desolate nature of the environment and its inhospitality – “the road
was closed, opened, closed and opened” (line 4); “all that space, all that absence” (line 10); “blasted to hell and
back” (line 11).
Judgement Statement
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
3A
2M+1A
1E+2A