Power in Purity Conference
October 18th, 2007
Phyllis K. Peterson
Setting Personal Boundaries
Greetings to all on this exciting day! I’m going to talk for about 10 minutes and
then I’ll present an interactive game called Boundary Sculpting, which is about
setting personal boundaries.
Our topics tonight have been how to raise discerning youth and instill a desire for
purity in them as they walk closer to their Creator. In this segment of our program
I am going to address the fact that we can and need to create an awareness of
boundaries in the very young as an avenue for not only prevention of abuse, but also
to prepare them for the knowledge they will need regarding boundaries as they
mature.
For example, you can teach children that there are three types of touch…gentle
touch, hurting touch, and secret touch. You can also teach your 3 through 9 year
old child that anywhere they can cross their hands on their body, no one has a right
to touch them without their permission. Cross your hands over your face. Cross
your hands over your chest. Cross your hands over your private area, and now
across your buttocks. I will sing a simple song: This is my private place, this is my
private place, this is my private place, One, Two, Three and Four. (See handout
and ask the children what they think the boy and the girl are feeling in each of the
pictures. Have them color the pictures.)
Now, hold up your hand with all of your fingers outstretched. I want you to choose
5 people who you will tell if someone touches you in your private place so they will
make it stop. They must be 5 people who would choose to do good for you and
would never hurt you. (See the Handout.) Here is thumbkin. Name a person who
you could tell. Would someone in the audience suggest a safe person? Now here’s
my pointer finger, middle man, ring finger, and pinky finger. After you have helped
them name five people, tell the children you want them to tell these five people and
keep on telling until someone listens if someone is touching them in their private
place. Don’t stop telling. Promise me you won’t stop telling. These are simple
exercises that you would teach your child to help them become aware of boundaries
at an early age…because an aware child is a protected child. Pedophiles count on
the fact that a child is unaware of personal boundaries. The child must also be
taught that there is nothing so terrible that can happen to them that cannot be said
out loud to someone they trust.
In the Boundary Sculpting Game, I raise the bar to match the understanding of the
youth and adults you want to teach. This game was originally created for women
who are served by Domestic Violence Shelters; but it lends itself well to the needs of
youth whether male or female. It creates awareness of what is happening
subconsciously and physically that may prevent youth from setting boundaries and
practicing Power in Purity.
We are both physical beings and spiritual beings. Our spiritual side is that which
returns to our Creator when we die. Throughout the millenniums God has revealed
laws through His Prophets that will protect us and guide us. They are like
boundaries or fences of love. They are a mercy to us and help civilization to
advance. One is the law of chastity which keeps us safe. Chaste before marriage
and complete faithfulness and fidelity within marriage.
Chastity, faithfulness, discernment, compassion, truthfulness, kindness, purity, and
sincerity are all virtues which we will carry with us when we return to our heavenly
home. That is one of the purposes of life on earth for our souls.
We all have at least one scar on our bodies. I have one on my knee where I was
swimming in a lake with my dog. The dog plunged her paw down to swim and my
knee was in the way. It sliced it right open. So I have a scar as a reminder of the
incident. If I seek a partner outside of marriage, I would have a deficit of the virtue
of faithfulness, a deficit of the virtue of trustworthiness. These would be like scars
on my soul.
Now, in order to play the Boundary Sculpting Game, I will need some volunteers
whose voices will carry in this room while reading from cards. And I’ll also need
two chairs in front about 10 feet apart. A male will sit in one chair and a female will
sit in the other chair. There will not be physical contact but they will read off of a
series of cards. Other cards will be distributed to volunteer readers throughout the
audience.
(To the Facilitator: Prepare by cutting the 14 cards apart and gluing them onto
card stock or index cards. Distribute the cards and set up the area…..
The cards will be read in the exact order of #1 through 14. It would be wonderful if
each card could generate discussion through the audience, or if the Facilitator could
stimulate discussion with questions.
Card #1 will be read by the Facilitator.
Cards #2, 10 and 12 will be read by the person who acts as the Boundary Violator.
Cards #3, 7, 9, 11 and 13 will be read by the person whose boundaries were violated.
(Card 7 will be read ALTERNATELY with the person who reads Card #8.)
Card #4 will be read by someone in the audience.
Card #5 will be read by someone in the audience, preferably a Minister.
Card # 6 will be read by someone in the audience.
Card #8 will be read ALTERNATELY with the person who is reading Card # 7.
Card #14 will be read by the Facilitator. This opens up an opportunity for
discussion