Weak Subjects and Verbs (Core)
1. A decrease in cerebral metabolic rate occurs during slow-wave sleep.
2. Measurements of serotonin were taken to determine whether sleep deprivation affects mood.
3. To meet energy demands for muscle contraction, the replenishment of ATP is accomplished through
the metabolism of carbohydrate, fat, and protein.
4. The main conclusion from this study is that neural circuits in the spinal cord can achieve control of
locomotion without descending input from the brain.
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Poor Sentence Logic (SL)
1. The study concluded that creatine supplements enhance aerobic performance.
2. The study done by Olsen et al. administered chiropractic to treat asthma.
3. Gluconeogenesis is where the liver and kidneys convert proteins into glucose.
4. The need to find the diet that is effective for weight loss and beneficial for cardiovascular health is in
high demand.
5. Our results for the effects of melatonin on the circadian rhythm differ from Moore et al.
6. The three sleep deprivation conditions had significantly different scores on the vigilance task.
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Problematic Passive Voice (pv)
1. Oxidative stress is hypothesized to contribute to the development of atherosclerosis.
2. Psychostimulants for treating ADHD should be carefully examined by parents, in order to protect
children from harmful side effects.
3. Levels of HDL cholesterol have been reported to increase significantly in individuals who perform
regular aerobic exercise (Palmer, 2005).
4. It has been shown and is widely known that antioxidants such as vitamin C can reduce the risk for heart
disease.
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Dangling Modifiers (dm)
1. After ingesting 200 mg of caffeine, Higby and Markum (2001) found that cognitive performance was
maintained at a high level in sleep-deprived subjects.
2. When beginning a resistance training program, evidence shows that initial strength gains come from
neural adaptations rather than increased muscle mass.
3. By decreasing body weight, the risk of developing osteoarthritis of the hips and knees is reduced.
4. Blood glucose concentration increases after consuming a carbohydrate-rich meal.
5. Daytime secretion of interleukin-6 increases when deprived of rapid eye movement (REM) sleep.
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Unnecessary Expletives (exp)
1. It is my goal in this paper to argue that vitamin C enhances immune function.
2. There are several mechanisms that could have accounted for the greater weight loss in subjects on the
Atkins diet.
3. There has been found to be some protection against bone loss in women who take hormone
replacement therapy.
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Wordiness (wordy)
1. I conclude that altitude training is not beneficial due to the fact that its adaptations are only temporary.
2. What is classified by the term secondary amenorrhea is described by the absence of menstrual cycles in
women who have previously had their periods.
3. In a study done by Loucks et al. (1999), monkeys were used to study the effects of endurance training
on the reproductive system.
4. Table 1 provides a summary of two conflicting studies in which the results are completely different.
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Noun-pronoun Disagreement (n-p agree)
1. To develop cardiovascular endurance an individual should exercise at 70-80% of their VO2max.
2. Professional and amateur bodybuilders that consume high amounts of protein may be at risk for bone
demineralization.
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Non-specific "This's" (ref)
1. Acidosis, or a decrease in body pH, may reduce an individual's exercise capacity. This may have a
direct effect on weight control.
2. The results of the study indicated that mean power, time to peak power, and peak power remained
unaffected. One reason for this might be that the dose of creatine was too low.
3. This paper addresses several factors that influence the ergogenic properties of caffeine and how this
relates to performance.
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Problematic Tense Shifts (tense shift)
1. The Atkins subjects experienced a decrease in exercise capacity due to dehydration. It is also possible
that the subjects will lose muscle mass, which also limits exercise capacity.
2. The subjects on the Atkins diet experienced a significant increase in exercise capacity over the last two
weeks of the study. Based on this result and an understanding of the physiological mechanisms of ketosis,
I conclude that the Atkins diet enhances exercise capacity.
Lack of Parallel Structure (parallel)
1. Studies show that exercise capacity is impaired for subjects on low-carbohydrate diets compared to a
high-carbohydrate diet.
2. Physical therapists often cite the following reasons for avoiding iontophoresis in their treatments: 1)
skin burns, 2) individual responses may vary, and 3) an uncomfortable tingling and burning sensation.
3. Some of the positive effects of massage include a decrease in muscle soreness, increased blood flow,
and it is possible for massage to improve flexibility.
4. Research on altitude training has been conducted on distance running, track athletes, and cross-country
skiers.
5. If our subjects' glycogen stores were already low before they began to exercise, then they were not
going to be able to utilize glycogen for energy very much longer and thereby decreasing their exercise
capacity.
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Inappropriate Word Choice (wc)
1. Our study addresses the affect of sleep on immune function.
2. Some doctors do not prescribe sleeping pills, as patients can become addicted to these drugs.
3. Subjects who slept at least eight hours a night made significantly less errors on the vigilance task.
4. The time to fatigue was longer in the treatment group then in the control group.
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Excessive Separation of Subjects and Their Verbs (svs, LNS)
Our findings revealed in the present study of a progressive decline in alertness and cognitive performance
in subjects who were deprived of sleep, indicated in the results showing that vigilance deteriorated over
the 48 hours of testing agree with those from previous studies.
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Problems Involving Commas (ip, mp)
1. When the subjects awakened the researchers administered a questionnaire to assess sleep quality.
2. A serious sleep disorder is narcolepsy which is characterized by 5- to 30-minute sleep attacks during
the day.
3. Stage 1 sleep is characterized by normal muscle tone and vivid dreams do not tend to occur during this
stage.
4. Several studies have been conducted on the effects of sleep loss on cognitive performance, the findings
from these studies conflict.
5. Periodic limb movements during sleep are common in individuals who suffer from sleep apnea,
however the physiological basis for this association is unclear.
6. The brain's arousal system can be activated by sensory input, and inhibited by adenosine accumulation.
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Problems Involving Semicolons (ip, mp)
1. Compared to the control mice, the sleep-deprived mice did not differ in immune responses to various
antigens; thus failing to support the hypothesis that sleep deprivation impairs immune function.
2. Previous studies on the effects of sleep on immune function have been flawed for the following
reasons; inconsistent methods for depriving animals of sleep, imprecise measures of antibody activity,
and poor controls for stress responses that are not due to sleep deprivation..
3. During paradoxical sleep we experience increased heart rate, respiration rate, and ocular movements;
high-frequency, low-amplitude brain waves; and paralysis of the skeletal muscles.