Sample Argument Paper
First 2 paras
are intro:
Background,
with thesis
statement in
the second
paragraph.
Summary
(thesis) of
Obama’s
speech
Analysis and
evaluation of
Obama’s
evidence
Specific
examples of
his key
evidence
Can We Handle the Truth?
Barack Obama’s March 18 speech on race in America was a defining moment of
the Presidential campaign. It was also an inspiring moment for many who felt that
finally the issue had been addressed honestly but with hope, perhaps for the first
time by a leading politician. Obama spoke movingly about the destructiveness of
racism and the need for our nation to move past it. Many considered it the most
powerful political speech in a generation.
And yet, despite being powerful and moving, Obama’s speech is not persuasive.
His evidence is minimal and not very representative, and his starting assumptions
are not reasonable. Although uplifting, Obama’s speech fails to persuade.
Obama paints an optimistic picture of race relations in America. He acknowledges
our history of racism, not just overt violence but widespread legal discrimination.
He recognizes that economic inequality still exists. But he argues that we must
overcome these divisions and that, working together, we can.
It’s not that this thesis is incorrect. It’s just that he offers little concrete evidence
to support it, and his speech avoids the difficult problems that still linger. His
evidence is either anecdotal or very general, with few numbers or other hard data.
There is no evidence at all about the economic inequality he mentions. When he
discusses his experience, or that of people he knows, he claims or implies it is
representative, and it may well be, but there is no support for that claim—no
large-scale studies, no historical analysis, no data. It is just a series of stories.
They are powerful stories, inspiring and moving, and one might accept that they
really are representative of large groups of Americans. But without the data to
back them up, they fail to convince.
Perhaps the most extreme example comes at the end of the speech, where he tries
to support the crucial second half of his thesis. Obama argues that unity is not
only necessary, but possible. But the only actual evidence for the second half of
that claim is a story about a young white campaign worker and an elderly black
man whom she inspired to attend a meeting. While it is a moving tale, it is just
two people, and there is nothing, beyond the reader’s own sense of hope or
optimism, to suggest it represents a larger trend. Where is the evidence that most
people can or will reach out to each other this way? It is not here.
Obama also offers a very general history of legal discrimination, in order to show
that Black Americans’ concerns about racism are not unfounded. He mentions
discrimination in housing, employment, lending and other areas—in the past. But
discrimination and inequality still exist, and his evidence from history is not
representative of the present situation. His one quick reference to “disparities” in
the African American community cannot adequately demonstrate the current
problem. In short, his evidence is relevant to the thesis, but it is not sufficient to
prove it or representative of real race relations in America today.
Sample Argument Paper
[506 words to here—first draft, nothing on reasoning]
Analysis and
evaluation of
Obama’s
reasoning
(assumptions)
Author’s 1st
assumption
Obama also starts from questionable assumptions. He rejects his former pastor’s
views as “profoundly distorted” because the pastor believes racism is “endemic”
(widespread throughout the country). In other words, unlike Jeremiah Wright,
Obama believes that white racism is not “endemic,” or characteristic of America.
He makes no effort to prove this claim. It would be very difficult to do so. All the
available evidence, from the onset of African slavery in the 1500s, to the most
recent case of police brutality, job discrimination, or everyday stereotyping,
suggests that white racism is, unfortunately, profoundly real, deep-seated and all
too typical. It is not universal, natural or inevitable, but to deny that it is
widespread and deeply rooted is simply mistaken. And that mistaken claim
underlies his argument, making him gloss over the difficulties in achieving the
unity he hopes for.
My own assumption is that acknowledging the reality of racism would make it
harder for people to come together across racial lines.
If Obama went into detail on present-day discrimination in housing, jobs, lending
and schools he would find it very difficult to assume that racism is not
widespread. If he examined the present-day effects of racism in the past it would
be even harder to make this faulty assumption. In short, if he had more evidence
for the first half of his thesis (the need to address the problem) he would also
avoid a fatal flaw in reasoning that undermines the second half (the claim that we
can address the problem) by making it seem easier than it is.
[765 words to here—second draft, no counter-argument]
Counterargument (ca), focusing
on why the
speech’s
evidence and
reasoning
might seem
convincing,
contrary to the
thesis
Rebuttal,
answering
the specific
points raised
in the c-a
Some would argue that Obama’s evidence is indeed representative and that his
assumptions are valid. Ashley—the young white woman with whom he ends his
speech—represents the best in our nation, the aspiration toward a better future and
the willingness to struggle to make that future happen. The whole purpose of
using her as an example, this argument goes, is to show us that we are better than
we sometimes think, that the negative view of America is not correct. Americans
constantly volunteer, donate to charity, and come together during disasters to help
each other. Ashley is representative of that best side of our nation, and because
she is representative, her example is sufficient to stand for all of us. Furthermore,
if she represents the nation, Obama is right to assume that racism is not
“endemic.”
All of this would be quite convincing, if it were not for the fact that Americans,
unfortunately, normally do not reach out across racial lines, even in their best
moments. It is true that we volunteer and donate and help each other, but all too
often even those efforts keep us within our comfort zones, within the racially
defined communities where we live and work. The cliché is that “Sunday is the
Sample Argument Paper
Author’s 2nd
assumption
Conclusion
most segregated day of the week,” and Sunday is the day when people are most
conscious of their highest values. I assume that some volunteers do deliberately
cross racial lines, as Ashley did, but far more work in communities where most
people look like them—coaching their kid’s sports team or tutoring in the local
school. And while sometimes disaster inspires us to transcend our differences,
even that is not always enough. During Hurricane Katrina, some Black New
Orleanians fleeing the flood were turned back at gunpoint when they tried to cross
into a drier, and whiter, neighborhood. Ashley may represent what we would like
to believe we are, but she does not yet represent our everyday behavior. And since
she is not representative of our everyday behavior, Obama’s evidence remains
unconvincing, his reasoning flawed.
Barack Obama is a skillful orator whose ability to unite and uplift is truly
remarkable. We can certainly hope that his examples will inspire more people to
work together to overcome the very real racism that still plagues our country. But
he relies more on rhetoric than evidence or reasoning to achieve this goal. Judged
according to the standards of academic argument, his speech is unpersuasive.
[1,169 words]