Re:think / Re:act (The Care Centre, Monkstown)
In previous issues we introduced you to Re:think/Re:act’s Stress
B.E.A.T. Programme (based on Stresspac by Jim White). The
programme uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques to
teach participants how to manage Stress. We explained a bit
about stress and how it affects our Bodies, Emotions, Actions
and Thoughts. We also looked in a little more depth at how stress
affects our bodies and in the last issue we focussed on how stress
affects our thoughts. In this article we want to highlight how
stress may affect our Actions.
Stress usually impacts on our actions in one of two ways:
Avoidance – things we don’t do
Behaviours – things we do
Avoidance
Of all the things we know about stress, this is the most certain:
If we avoid doing something or going somewhere because of stress,
we are only making the problem worse
When we are under stress we often anticipate that we will cope badly in certain situations and
therefore we avoid these situations. We may avoid driving, shopping, talking to the neighbours,
travelling on buses, making decisions, going out socially, etc. For example if I thought I would have
a panic attack in a large department store then I might think that the best thing to do would be to
avoid shopping in large department stores. But I would be wrong!
While avoidance may work in the short-term, it will make the problem even worse the next time
round. If we don’t face up to it, we never learn if we could have coped with it or not. When we have
to do something similar in the future, we are likely to avoid it again and so it goes on. This sort of
avoidance results in ‘short-tem gain – long-term pain!’
Unfortunately there is no magic cure. We have to begin to face up to places and situations that we
find stressful. To help with this we need to remember to challenge our negative thoughts (see article
in last issue). By facing up to stressful situations rather than avoiding them we learn that we can
cope a lot better than we had predicted and our self-confidence improves. That is ‘short-term pain –
long-term gain!’
Behaviours
Stress can be an invisible problem – it goes on under the surface. But it can become visible when it
affects our behaviour. We may fidget a lot; pace the floor; speak too quickly; mumble; try and do
too many things at once; lose our temper etc. Because we are often painfully aware of the
behaviours we engage in when stressed it also has an impact on our thoughts. For example we may
think ‘I’m acting like a complete idiot, everyone will see that I am not coping, I’m making a fool of
myself’. Other people may pick up on these signs of stress. This may increase our desire to avoid
doing things or going places because we fear others will see how stressed we are. Again we need to
challenge these negative thoughts using the techniques we discussed in the last issue.
Managing our actions – top ten tips
1.
Deal with problems on the spot
It is unhelpful to try and bottle up our emotions. These feelings will grow and grow inside us;
building our stress until eventually it erupts. So if there are problems at e.g. work, it is important
that we express our feelings at work and look for solutions. It is not a good idea to bottle it up until
we get home and then take it out on those closest to us!
2.
Slow down
Don’t try and do everything at 100 miles an hour. We need to practise eating more slowly, walking
– not running, driving more slowly and if we don’t get as much done as we would like then it is no
big deal – there is always another day.
3.
Divide problems up
If faced with a huge problem that we feel there as no solution to, we need to see if we can divide it
up into more manageable bits. Then tackle the bits one at a time.
4.
One thing at a time
Think of someone at work cradling a phone between his shoulder and ear. With one hand, they are
writing a letter and with the other, searching through some papers. At the same time they are trying
to grab a quick snack. How stressed do you imagine they are feeling? This is overloading the
system. Sometimes being able to multi-task is not a good thing!
5.
Look and sound relaxed
Other people may pick up on how we are feeling by seeing our body language. It can often help our
confidence if we try and look relaxed (even if we don’t feel it!). For example we could practise
sitting back in our chair (not perching right on the edge), slowing down our speech, relaxing our
shoulders and trying not to fidget.
6.
Exercise
Lying in front of the TV all day and most of the night, will not help our stress levels. We need to
think about becoming more active. Aerobic exercise may be best. Taking up something new can
often be a challenge. But meeting this challenge can help our self-confidence as well as our fitness
levels.
7.
Get enough rest
We cannot burn the candle at both ends. Sleep recharges our batteries. So we need to try and get to
bed at a reasonable time and avoid long lie-ins.
8.
Build relaxation into your life
No matter how busy we are we need to put aside a little ‘me’ time every day. We could go for a
walk, phone a friend, do the garden, read a book, anything that we enjoy and that allows us to slow
down for even half an hour.
9.
Do the worst thing first
If we have a list of things to do, we should do the one we least want to first. If we do, we can get it
out of the way and the rest of our tasks will be easier to cope with. If on the other hand we keep
putting the worst task off, it will prey on our mind and may even seem a lot worse than it really is.
10. Confide in others
If there are people around whom we can trust, it is important to let them know how we are feeling.
They may be able to offer solutions to problems that we had not considered. They may have had
similar problems themselves. In any case, confiding may also help to reduce the feelings of being
alone which are so common in stress.
If you think that stress is an issue for you at the moment then the Re:think/Re:act project (based at
Monkstown Village Centre) may be able to help. If you would like more details about the project or
would like to make an appointment to see one of our CBT Therapists please contact us at the
number below.
Re:think/Re:act
18 Monkstown Village Centre, Newtownabbey, BT37 0HS
Tel: 028 9086 0090, Email: admin@rethinkreact.info, Website: www.rethinkreact.info